WEBVTT 00:00:01.465 --> 00:00:01.899 Amen. 00:00:01.899 --> 00:00:06.466 Thank you, McCoy, and welcome everyone again. 00:00:06.466 --> 00:00:10.099 It's good to be with you while we continue in our study of the book of Philippians. 00:00:10.099 --> 00:00:11.199 You want to be turning there. 00:00:11.199 --> 00:00:13.833 We're going to read from there shortly. 00:00:13.833 --> 00:00:17.432 The theme this week is going to build off something we've already seen. 00:00:17.432 --> 00:00:27.565 We've seen earlier in the book of Philippians that the reality is there are people outside of the church that want to attack Christians, that want to attack the church and want to tear it down. 00:00:27.565 --> 00:00:32.332 Paul addressed that, and you may have experienced this in this in your life. 00:00:32.332 --> 00:00:34.165 You have someone attacking you. 00:00:34.165 --> 00:00:35.000 They're against you. 00:00:35.000 --> 00:00:37.466 That's called the school bus. 00:00:37.466 --> 00:00:38.365 Growing up. 00:00:38.365 --> 00:00:47.732 Sixth grade was a horrible year on the bus with this one senior who, for whatever reason, felt like I needed to be attacked regularly. 00:00:47.732 --> 00:00:49.066 But he graduated. It worked out. 00:00:49.066 --> 00:00:50.432 I'm okay. Not too much damage. 00:00:50.432 --> 00:00:51.899 I don't think left over from that. 00:00:51.899 --> 00:00:54.265 But you've experienced that where people attack you. 00:00:56.000 --> 00:00:59.665 But what about when the attacks come from within? 00:00:59.732 --> 00:01:02.899 Sometimes you can be your own worst enemy. 00:01:02.899 --> 00:01:04.433 You know what I'm saying? 00:01:04.433 --> 00:01:05.933 The self sabotage. 00:01:05.933 --> 00:01:07.433 You don't need someone else attacking you. 00:01:07.433 --> 00:01:10.099 You're taking care of it all yourself. 00:01:10.099 --> 00:01:11.965 Some of us have been there. 00:01:11.965 --> 00:01:13.700 Maybe it's addiction. 00:01:13.700 --> 00:01:23.865 I mean, I had a friend of mine, close friend, successful attorney, beautiful family leading in the church, and his life was derailed by addiction. 00:01:23.865 --> 00:01:25.365 He was his own worst enemy. 00:01:25.365 --> 00:01:26.965 No one was attacking him. 00:01:26.965 --> 00:01:29.799 It was all here. 00:01:29.799 --> 00:01:32.799 That happens personally, but it also happens corporately. 00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:34.900 It happens within the church. 00:01:34.900 --> 00:01:37.066 Sometimes it's not the outside attacks. 00:01:37.066 --> 00:01:46.832 In fact, I think in our day and age, the main thing that erodes churches is the internal division, the internal fighting, the internal attacks. 00:01:46.832 --> 00:01:50.799 Most of the churches you drive past that are dying, dead or closed. 00:01:50.799 --> 00:01:51.799 That's where it started. 00:01:53.066 --> 00:01:56.132 The entire internal fighting, the divisions. 00:01:56.132 --> 00:01:57.665 How do we deal with that? 00:01:57.665 --> 00:02:00.665 What do we do with that? 00:02:00.965 --> 00:02:05.632 When you're your own worst enemy, whether it's individually or the church, how do you handle that? 00:02:05.632 --> 00:02:12.265 Paul is going to talk about that today in Philippians chapter four, we're going to look at verses two through five. 00:02:12.265 --> 00:02:16.133 I'm going to read through those and set this up before he shows us a couple different ways. 00:02:16.133 --> 00:02:23.665 In fact, there's four ways I think you fight internal division here in this passage, Philippians chapter four, verses two through five. 00:02:23.665 --> 00:02:29.300 I'm going to start by reading those, and then we'll set up the rest of the message. 00:02:29.300 --> 00:02:36.866 I entreat Euodia and I entreat Syntyche to agree in the Lord. 00:02:36.866 --> 00:02:49.000 Yes, I ask you also, true companion, help these women who have labored side by side with me in the gospel, together with Clement and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the book of life. 00:02:49.000 --> 00:02:50.800 Rejoice in the Lord always. 00:02:51.966 --> 00:02:59.599 Again I will say, rejoice! Let your reasonable reasonableness be known to everyone. 00:03:00.199 --> 00:03:03.199 The Lord is at hand. 00:03:03.265 --> 00:03:08.265 So here we have in Philippians chapter four, Paul addressing a serious issue in the church. 00:03:08.265 --> 00:03:19.765 I know it's rare and probably impossible to think that two women might disagree and have a challenge relationally within the church, but Paul is addressing it hypothetically, just in case that could occur. 00:03:19.765 --> 00:03:31.665 And why is he now, I wonder, addressing this in chapter four, because you got to think that more than likely someone wrote to him going, we got this issue we need help with. 00:03:32.265 --> 00:03:34.699 Paul's aware of it and he's writing. 00:03:34.699 --> 00:03:37.066 And now at this point he says, we need to deal with this. 00:03:37.066 --> 00:03:41.332 I personally think, and I don't know that there's a ton of support for this. Okay. 00:03:41.332 --> 00:03:42.832 This is just me speculating. 00:03:44.866 --> 00:03:57.466 I think probably the whole book of Philippians has been written to set this up, because imagine if you have a young church that has internal conflict and is struggling and they're immature and they're struggling. 00:03:57.466 --> 00:04:00.765 You want to make sure you set the context for that. 00:04:00.765 --> 00:04:10.765 And Paul has spent chapter after chapter talking about how Christ is our example to follow others who are more mature than you, to put others before yourself, have this mind in yourself. 00:04:10.765 --> 00:04:12.366 Treat others as more significant. 00:04:12.366 --> 00:04:20.199 He's each theme over and over again, all, I think leading up to being able to say, now let me talk specifics. 00:04:20.199 --> 00:04:24.932 In fact, last week we didn't look at verse one today in chapter four because I ended the last section looking at that. 00:04:24.932 --> 00:04:31.233 But that gives us a theme that sets up the reason why we need to address conflict within the church. 00:04:31.233 --> 00:04:32.233 Look back at verse one. 00:04:32.233 --> 00:04:41.432 Therefore, my brothers, whom I love and long for, my joy and crown, stand firm thus in the Lord, my beloved. 00:04:43.300 --> 00:04:45.865 This is our first point in the outline here. 00:04:45.865 --> 00:05:04.165 We need to make sure we are standing firm in truth, that is going to guide us in how we approach division in the church, to stand firm in Jesus, stand firm in truth, and churches who often are finding themselves deeply divided. 00:05:04.165 --> 00:05:12.432 And of course, by the way, let me let me just make it clear there are times for people to divide, but over truth and over Christ. 00:05:12.432 --> 00:05:22.132 But a lot of times that division occurs over secondary or tertiary things or insignificant things that have been blown out of proportion. 00:05:22.132 --> 00:05:26.899 But if we're standing firm in truth, that keeps things rightly ordered. 00:05:26.899 --> 00:05:31.800 I heard a story recently of a church, and this is a church. 00:05:31.800 --> 00:05:43.466 You know, there's there's a whole string of churches, denominations even less so now than there used to be who aren't don't think you should use instruments as a part of the worship service. 00:05:43.466 --> 00:05:44.565 You just sing with your. 00:05:44.565 --> 00:05:46.399 Just only your voices are to be used. 00:05:47.733 --> 00:05:58.833 And there was one church in particular that had been in that strain, but a number of people had come into the church who felt differently, and they felt like we we think we should use instruments. 00:05:58.833 --> 00:06:06.365 And so you had about half the church wrestling with whether they have instruments or not, half wanted it, half didn't. 00:06:06.466 --> 00:06:08.365 Well, one day they show up to church. 00:06:08.365 --> 00:06:11.865 And right there in the middle of stage is a piano. 00:06:11.865 --> 00:06:13.132 No one knew it was coming. 00:06:13.132 --> 00:06:14.199 They hadn't voted on it. 00:06:14.199 --> 00:06:16.833 They hadn't talked about it that this would happen. 00:06:16.833 --> 00:06:17.865 They hadn't been prepared for it. 00:06:17.865 --> 00:06:18.600 There it was. 00:06:18.600 --> 00:06:24.899 And the worship leader gets up and leads a song with a piano, and half the audience loved it. 00:06:24.899 --> 00:06:27.966 Finally, our day has come and the other half hated every second of it. 00:06:29.932 --> 00:06:36.065 Now, that's not the best way to approach conflict, to just drop what you think is your solution in on everyone. 00:06:36.065 --> 00:06:39.100 That's not the worst of this story, by the way. 00:06:39.100 --> 00:06:45.365 The next Sunday they come back and the piano is gone and no one knows where it went. 00:06:45.365 --> 00:06:49.399 They know the pastor who brought it in doesn't know where it went. 00:06:49.399 --> 00:06:49.565 Okay. 00:06:49.565 --> 00:06:51.565 Somehow they're searching all over the church. 00:06:51.565 --> 00:06:53.365 I mean, it's kind of hard to hide a piano. 00:06:53.365 --> 00:06:53.899 It's gone. 00:06:53.899 --> 00:06:56.365 Nobody can find it. 00:06:56.365 --> 00:07:05.665 Six months later, they finally find it where it had been hiding the whole time in the empty baptismal pool. 00:07:08.533 --> 00:07:13.365 Which says a lot of things they knew that's a safe place to hide it. 00:07:13.365 --> 00:07:15.300 We won't be using that much in this church. 00:07:17.500 --> 00:07:18.899 And here's the thing that this comes back to. 00:07:18.899 --> 00:07:21.065 Here's why it's important that we stand firm in the truth. 00:07:21.065 --> 00:07:24.500 Because at the end of the day, it's the gospel that's at stake. 00:07:24.500 --> 00:07:27.966 People aren't flocking to a church that's heavily divided. 00:07:27.966 --> 00:07:32.132 They're running, and that's what this church was experiencing. 00:07:32.132 --> 00:07:34.100 It wasn't just a musical preference thing. 00:07:34.100 --> 00:07:35.733 The gospel was at stake. 00:07:35.733 --> 00:07:38.966 When we were that heavily divided. 00:07:38.966 --> 00:07:51.800 And so we've got to press into our division, our conflicts, our issues, because whatever seems like a small thing, it could be just the beginning of a gigantic division. 00:07:51.800 --> 00:07:55.865 We've got to deal with them over and over and over again. 00:07:55.865 --> 00:08:01.565 That's what we're called to do as Christians is to press in to conflict, to not run from it. 00:08:02.833 --> 00:08:08.165 And so Paul is going to give four strategies, four approaches for how we deal with internal division. 00:08:08.165 --> 00:08:12.932 I want to look at this first one here, and we see it in verse two. 00:08:12.932 --> 00:08:13.699 And here it is. 00:08:13.699 --> 00:08:16.699 Take the initiative. 00:08:17.333 --> 00:08:19.266 Be willing to take the initiative. 00:08:19.266 --> 00:08:35.232 We see it here in what Paul calls them up to look back at verse two, I entreat you could say I plead with, I am begging Euodia, and I entreat Syntyche-- And I've heard some people pronounce that sin tike. 00:08:35.232 --> 00:08:36.566 You can do it either way. 00:08:36.566 --> 00:08:38.466 Doesn't matter. 00:08:38.466 --> 00:08:39.666 But he entreats them both. 00:08:39.666 --> 00:08:40.966 He pleads with them both. 00:08:40.966 --> 00:08:44.566 He begs them both move towards one another. 00:08:44.666 --> 00:08:52.432 Now this follows the biblical pattern, and this is a very important passage for everyone to have to know where it is in Scripture. 00:08:52.432 --> 00:08:54.166 Turn to Matthew chapter 18. 00:08:55.500 --> 00:08:57.666 That'll be on page 773. 00:08:57.666 --> 00:09:05.899 In a church Bible, if you don't have a Bible, we have Bibles out in the lobby and the connection corner page numbers on screen tie into those copies of the Bible. 00:09:05.899 --> 00:09:22.666 Not everybody else's Bible will match with that, but we want to make it easy for you to find these passages if you're not familiar with the Bible, Matthew's the first book of the New Testament, Matthew chapter 18 is a chapter and a section that's dedicated to how do Christians resolve conflict. 00:09:23.533 --> 00:09:28.765 And it gives us a very specific pattern to follow, and it's one that many ignore. 00:09:30.033 --> 00:09:34.200 I think a lot of times when you have a challenge, the word we use is gossip. 00:09:34.200 --> 00:09:44.100 Let me go around and make sure as many people know about it as possible, so I can rally as many people on my side to make sure I've got them aligned with me before it ever really comes up with the other person. 00:09:44.100 --> 00:09:47.033 But that's not what the Scripture tells us to do. 00:09:47.033 --> 00:09:48.600 The Scripture tells us to do something else. 00:09:48.600 --> 00:09:50.666 Matthew chapter 18. Look at verse 15. 00:09:52.600 --> 00:10:00.600 If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. 00:10:00.600 --> 00:10:05.832 If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 00:10:06.332 --> 00:10:07.500 So that's the first step. 00:10:07.500 --> 00:10:15.832 The first step is when you have a disagreement with someone, you have a conflict instead of spreading it around, rallying as many people on your side as you can. 00:10:15.832 --> 00:10:22.466 And look, you may need to go to someone and get advice, because sometimes we make a bigger deal out of something than we need to. 00:10:22.466 --> 00:10:24.832 I've got to make sure that my heart's in the right place. 00:10:24.832 --> 00:10:28.466 I may have to think about the right timing to approach someone. 00:10:28.466 --> 00:10:34.432 You understand all that takes wisdom, but there's a big difference between seeking advice and spreading gossip. 00:10:34.432 --> 00:10:42.265 There's a big difference, and you usually know which you're trying to do, but the first step is to go to that person. 00:10:42.432 --> 00:10:44.666 Even if you heard about it from someone else, go to that person. 00:10:44.666 --> 00:10:46.700 Hey, I heard this happened. 00:10:46.700 --> 00:10:54.466 I was concerned I wanted to come to you directly instead of it spreading around, see if we can work this out together. 00:10:55.265 --> 00:10:59.200 That's what Paul is telling the Philippians here to do go to one another. 00:10:59.200 --> 00:11:05.600 Euodia, Syntyche, I urge you in the Lord to agree. 00:11:05.899 --> 00:11:08.399 We've seen that word agree here over and over again. 00:11:08.399 --> 00:11:09.799 It gets translated different ways. 00:11:09.799 --> 00:11:14.799 It basically means to have the same mind, to think the same thoughts, to think the same way. 00:11:14.799 --> 00:11:17.365 Have this mind among yourselves which is yours in Christ Jesus. 00:11:17.365 --> 00:11:19.832 We saw that earlier. 00:11:19.832 --> 00:11:23.200 We see that word over and over again in Philippians. 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:24.765 It shows up something like ten times. 00:11:24.765 --> 00:11:29.966 Almost half of all the uses of agree in your thoughts have the same mind show up in Philippians. 00:11:29.966 --> 00:11:32.365 Philippians. It's a huge emphasis. 00:11:34.865 --> 00:11:39.432 And the only way you get to having the same mind is working it out together. 00:11:39.432 --> 00:11:42.265 Dialoging talking, figuring it out. 00:11:42.265 --> 00:11:43.432 Take the initiative. 00:11:43.432 --> 00:11:46.799 Don't wait around hoping it'll all go away. 00:11:46.799 --> 00:11:54.365 Some things are small enough that don't need to be addressed, but if it's there, be the one to take the initiative. 00:11:54.365 --> 00:11:57.265 It's not going to go away on its own. 00:11:57.265 --> 00:12:01.332 It's going to show up somewhere else eventually. 00:12:01.332 --> 00:12:04.100 And he pleads with them to take the initiative. 00:12:04.100 --> 00:12:10.765 I also love what he does here, and I think we'll implement this here, probably in my weekly newsletter. 00:12:10.765 --> 00:12:13.765 He he actually names them specifically. 00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:15.299 Wouldn't that be great? 00:12:15.299 --> 00:12:15.899 Right? 00:12:15.899 --> 00:12:19.166 Hey, I just wanted to mention this week we have these two people in conflict. 00:12:19.166 --> 00:12:20.133 Let's all pray for them. 00:12:21.865 --> 00:12:24.500 Yeah, this church would be empty pretty fast. 00:12:24.500 --> 00:12:26.932 I think we we don't do that. 00:12:26.932 --> 00:12:29.932 But by the way, that's not necessary. 00:12:30.100 --> 00:12:35.899 That only needs to happen when things have really elevated to a point where we have no other recourse. 00:12:35.899 --> 00:12:46.332 My guess is this has gotten to the point where we have two women in the church, where it really has gotten to the point where it's involving the whole church. 00:12:46.666 --> 00:12:51.265 You know, the church in Philippi was started mainly among the women. 00:12:51.265 --> 00:12:58.899 When they showed up in Acts 16, they went out to a they said a place of prayer outside the city where the women gathered to pray. 00:12:58.899 --> 00:13:00.265 And there they found Lydia. 00:13:00.265 --> 00:13:03.166 And she became the first convert. 00:13:03.166 --> 00:13:10.832 So more than likely the the women in that church were significant leaders, were highly respected and looked up to. 00:13:12.332 --> 00:13:14.732 And so Paul names them specifically. 00:13:14.732 --> 00:13:23.399 And listen, the beautiful part of that, and this is so important when it comes to conflict, is to deal with specifics, not just generalities. 00:13:23.399 --> 00:13:27.765 Paul could have written, I hear there are some people in your church who are having conflict. 00:13:27.765 --> 00:13:30.533 You should deal with that. 00:13:30.533 --> 00:13:31.566 But do you know how that is? 00:13:31.566 --> 00:13:34.332 Everybody's problem is nobody's problem. 00:13:34.332 --> 00:13:34.700 Oh yeah. 00:13:34.700 --> 00:13:36.033 Somebody else must be in conflict. 00:13:36.033 --> 00:13:36.932 That's not me. 00:13:36.932 --> 00:13:39.666 I would never be in conflict with anyone. 00:13:39.666 --> 00:13:51.133 But when he says these two people need to deal with this, I had a guy come to me early on here and he said, you know, I think Valley View has this big problem. 00:13:51.133 --> 00:13:53.765 I'm not going to name it because I don't I didn't think it was true then. 00:13:53.765 --> 00:13:54.700 I don't think it's true now. 00:13:54.700 --> 00:13:57.432 So I don't want to mislabel us as a church. 00:13:57.432 --> 00:13:58.432 But that asked this person. 00:13:58.432 --> 00:14:01.432 I said, well, tell me this is it sounds like a big problem. 00:14:01.432 --> 00:14:02.100 Who is it? 00:14:02.100 --> 00:14:02.966 Who's doing this? 00:14:02.966 --> 00:14:04.200 Let's deal with that behavior. 00:14:04.200 --> 00:14:05.066 Let's go talk to them. 00:14:05.066 --> 00:14:06.765 And they said, well, it's someone who used to go here. 00:14:08.865 --> 00:14:10.566 So it's not a problem for us currently. 00:14:10.566 --> 00:14:11.100 Well, you know what? 00:14:11.100 --> 00:14:13.899 No, you're right. It's not. Okay. 00:14:13.899 --> 00:14:16.700 We need to deal with specifics. 00:14:16.700 --> 00:14:18.332 This works in relationships, by the way. 00:14:18.332 --> 00:14:22.432 You don't just say you're an angry person. 00:14:22.432 --> 00:14:23.500 What's a lot better is to go. 00:14:23.500 --> 00:14:23.865 You know what? 00:14:23.865 --> 00:14:29.700 Yesterday I noticed at dinner, you seemed kind of irritated with the kids. In theory. 00:14:29.700 --> 00:14:33.265 Hypothetically, you seemed irritated with the kids. 00:14:33.265 --> 00:14:35.166 Is everything okay? 00:14:35.166 --> 00:14:36.066 Was it just them? 00:14:36.066 --> 00:14:36.899 Was it something at work? 00:14:36.899 --> 00:14:38.200 Is it something you did? 00:14:38.200 --> 00:14:44.232 You know, deal with specifics as much as possible instead of just broad general labels? 00:14:44.365 --> 00:14:48.332 Because we all react to those differently and it doesn't really move the conversation forward. 00:14:48.332 --> 00:15:03.899 And Paul here is calling them out by name to deal with specifics and calling them to take the initiative, plead with you, go to one another, get on the same page if you can. 00:15:03.899 --> 00:15:08.932 Now, obviously that hasn't happened because he's dealing with it. 00:15:08.932 --> 00:15:12.966 So what's the next step he needs to take? Look at verse three. 00:15:13.666 --> 00:15:22.566 He says, I ask you also, true companion, help these women who have labored side by side with me in the gospel. 00:15:22.566 --> 00:15:27.066 You know what's interesting about their names in particular? 00:15:27.200 --> 00:15:28.200 Names are important. 00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:28.899 They seem important. 00:15:28.899 --> 00:15:30.365 In the book of Philippians, we remember. 00:15:30.365 --> 00:15:35.633 We look back at Epaphroditis, favored of Aphrodite, the Greek goddess. 00:15:35.633 --> 00:15:39.500 Many believe it's probably a label more like handsome. 00:15:40.033 --> 00:15:43.299 Here we have Euodia, which is good journey. 00:15:43.299 --> 00:15:48.666 It probably meant something like success, have success on your journey. 00:15:48.700 --> 00:15:52.100 We have Syntyche which means with Tyche. 00:15:52.100 --> 00:15:58.166 Tyche was a Greek goddess at that time she would have been a goddess of good favor over a city. 00:15:58.332 --> 00:16:01.600 In fact, here's a description that describes how many people viewed her. 00:16:03.100 --> 00:16:09.899 She was the goddess of good fortune, known for bringing positive messages to people relating to events outside their control. 00:16:11.500 --> 00:16:13.066 Okay, absorb all this. 00:16:13.066 --> 00:16:15.865 By the way, these are their names. 00:16:15.865 --> 00:16:17.633 Success. 00:16:17.633 --> 00:16:19.033 Maybe even pleasant. 00:16:19.033 --> 00:16:20.466 You might. Might use. 00:16:20.466 --> 00:16:21.265 Have a good journey. 00:16:21.265 --> 00:16:24.232 Have a great vacation. Be successful. 00:16:24.232 --> 00:16:27.232 Also, you're kind of lucky. 00:16:28.566 --> 00:16:38.666 If success and lucky can't get along in church, that would be much like if we had grace and joy at bitter ends with one another and conflict. 00:16:38.666 --> 00:16:42.365 You go, don't, don't you hear your own names? 00:16:43.166 --> 00:16:45.432 Paul is calling them up. 00:16:45.432 --> 00:16:47.466 Live who you are. 00:16:47.466 --> 00:16:48.799 Live out who you are. 00:16:48.799 --> 00:16:53.666 In fact, he says, but notice what he said about them. 00:16:55.100 --> 00:16:57.700 Agree in the Lord in verse one. 00:16:57.700 --> 00:17:00.066 In verse two, agree in the Lord. 00:17:00.066 --> 00:17:08.700 So it's not just live out your pagan names, live out who you are in the Lord now. Move toward one another. 00:17:08.700 --> 00:17:10.165 That hasn't happened. 00:17:10.165 --> 00:17:11.732 And here he calls on a friend. 00:17:11.732 --> 00:17:16.865 In fact, the second way he says to address internal division is to don't go it alone. 00:17:18.865 --> 00:17:20.932 Don't go it alone. 00:17:20.932 --> 00:17:28.400 If you can't get it figured out, don't just write that person off and say, well, I guess I have to avoid them in church now for the rest of my life. 00:17:28.400 --> 00:17:35.266 You go in that door, I'll go in this door and we will not cross the center line of the church, and it will be good. 00:17:35.965 --> 00:17:41.299 Well, no, that's not where we leave things, he says, don't. Don't go it alone. 00:17:41.299 --> 00:17:45.465 He said, I ask you also, true companion, help these women. 00:17:46.465 --> 00:17:51.200 Sometimes if we get to a point where a conflict can't be resolved, we've got to call in extra help. 00:17:51.200 --> 00:17:59.032 Go back to Matthew because he anticipates this, Matthew chapter 18 when he said, first go to your brother. 00:17:59.032 --> 00:18:02.566 If they listen to you, you've gained a brother, you've gained a friend. 00:18:02.566 --> 00:18:11.532 And by the way, I've seen this time and again, it's it's so crazy how the person I have significant conflict with often becomes a very close friend. 00:18:11.532 --> 00:18:13.165 It's crazy how that works. 00:18:13.165 --> 00:18:15.532 So I try to remind myself about that. 00:18:15.532 --> 00:18:19.599 If I'm at odds with someone, go, John, don't just write them off as insane. 00:18:19.599 --> 00:18:21.799 They could end up becoming a very close friend. 00:18:23.066 --> 00:18:24.200 Matthew chapter 18. 00:18:24.200 --> 00:18:26.965 If your brother sins against you, go to him. You've gained a friend. 00:18:26.965 --> 00:18:39.833 But verse 16, if he does not listen, take 1 or 2 others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of 2 or 3 witnesses. 00:18:39.833 --> 00:18:42.700 And then it goes on about what to do if he doesn't listen to them. 00:18:42.700 --> 00:18:47.299 Point being, start with one on one, and if that doesn't work, bring in someone else. 00:18:47.299 --> 00:18:51.833 Someone else who's trusted someone else, who's probably maybe a leader in the church. 00:18:51.833 --> 00:18:53.665 These women are probably leaders in the church. 00:18:53.665 --> 00:19:01.965 He's probably writing to another elder to say, it's time for you to step in and help them. 00:19:01.965 --> 00:19:08.932 And look, if you've lived any amount of time, you've been there where you've been in a relationship and you feel like we we can't move this forward on our own. 00:19:09.865 --> 00:19:11.700 I can't see their perspective anymore. 00:19:11.700 --> 00:19:13.665 They can't see mine. 00:19:13.665 --> 00:19:17.232 And there's no shame in bringing someone else in to help. 00:19:17.232 --> 00:19:20.400 We do that in all kinds of realms of life. 00:19:20.400 --> 00:19:29.432 Why wouldn't you call someone else to come alongside and help you sort this out together for the sake of the church, for the sake of the gospel? 00:19:29.633 --> 00:19:38.066 In fact, that what he calls this person here in Philippians, he says, help these women true companion. 00:19:38.066 --> 00:19:39.200 He calls them true companion. 00:19:39.200 --> 00:19:43.532 That word behind that is this word that means yoke. 00:19:43.532 --> 00:19:45.266 Fellow, fellow yoked. 00:19:45.266 --> 00:19:47.700 It was a military term. 00:19:47.700 --> 00:20:02.365 It would have described someone almost linked arm in arm, side by side, building up an impenetrable wall of defense, someone you trust your life with, someone you're willing to go to battle with. 00:20:02.365 --> 00:20:08.000 Someone you have seen them prove themselves more than likely a leader in the church. 00:20:08.000 --> 00:20:11.365 Some think that might actually have just been his proper name. 00:20:13.599 --> 00:20:14.365 Yoke fellow. 00:20:14.365 --> 00:20:16.865 This is the opposite of by the way of what we see in Second 00:20:16.865 --> 00:20:24.766 14-- do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers, and you've had those experiences where you have tried to move forward with someone. 00:20:24.766 --> 00:20:35.732 Maybe it was in a romantic relationship, maybe it was in a business relationship, but there was such a divide spiritually that things could not be resolved, could not move forward. 00:20:37.465 --> 00:20:45.299 One of the things we have to fight here, and it's an interesting temptation, and I think it's important that he addresses it. 00:20:45.299 --> 00:20:50.000 He makes it very clear that these women are Christians. 00:20:51.500 --> 00:21:00.566 Too often when someone disagrees with us, the temptation is to go well clearly, they don't know Jesus, because if they knew Jesus, they would think the way that I think. 00:21:02.965 --> 00:21:08.400 But he says, here, look, help these women who have labored side by side with me in the gospel. 00:21:08.400 --> 00:21:11.000 They've been there with me too. 00:21:11.000 --> 00:21:16.633 And if there's any doubt, their names are in the book of life. 00:21:18.032 --> 00:21:19.965 I remember a friend of mine in seminary. 00:21:19.965 --> 00:21:30.133 He had a landlord who was a Christian, but he told me one day, I'm not so sure is because there's all these little things he hasn't followed through on very well. 00:21:30.700 --> 00:21:34.200 And I said, man, that look, that's a big jump to go from. 00:21:34.965 --> 00:21:38.333 He didn't do his job well to he's not a Christian. 00:21:38.333 --> 00:21:41.066 Are you really want to jump there right away. 00:21:41.066 --> 00:21:41.333 Yeah. 00:21:41.333 --> 00:21:42.900 There may be a character issue there. 00:21:42.900 --> 00:21:47.365 There may be stuff he needs to work on but right to therefore, he's not a Christian. 00:21:48.365 --> 00:21:50.500 We need to be careful about that. 00:21:50.500 --> 00:21:50.700 Now. 00:21:50.700 --> 00:21:56.000 It's okay to say to someone, you don't seem to be acting very Christ like right now. 00:21:56.000 --> 00:22:00.833 That's okay to point out, we all have our seasons. 00:22:01.865 --> 00:22:05.865 But here he is reminding everyone involved in the conflict. 00:22:05.865 --> 00:22:12.465 And by the way, he's reminding the two women I know Christ is in you. 00:22:13.133 --> 00:22:14.833 In fact, one of my favorite verses along 00:22:14.833 --> 00:22:21.165 11 if the spirit that raised Jesus, in fact here it's on the screen. 00:22:21.165 --> 00:22:32.665 If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. 00:22:35.532 --> 00:22:39.232 The power that was at work, raising Jesus from the dead. 00:22:41.165 --> 00:22:44.400 If you know Christ, that power is in you. 00:22:44.500 --> 00:22:53.532 And if that power could take a dead man and make him alive, don't you think the spirit could work to resolve whatever conflict might come up? 00:22:54.066 --> 00:22:57.633 Don't you think he's powerful enough to do that? 00:22:57.633 --> 00:22:59.365 He is. 00:22:59.365 --> 00:23:03.032 He's so much bigger than any petty conflict that comes up. 00:23:03.032 --> 00:23:05.066 And I know there are real big conflicts. 00:23:05.066 --> 00:23:05.333 Okay? 00:23:05.333 --> 00:23:12.833 I don't throw petty out, but those are often the ones, the petty ones that people get most derailed about. 00:23:15.066 --> 00:23:22.333 Probably the most difficult conflict I've experienced, not with me personally, but was in a workplace between two women. 00:23:23.432 --> 00:23:31.532 And these women were both leaders in a Christian ministry, and they had gotten sideways with one another. 00:23:32.532 --> 00:23:34.932 And they'd gotten to the place where they could not resolve it. 00:23:36.000 --> 00:23:37.900 And it was hurting, not just them. 00:23:37.900 --> 00:23:43.965 It was hurting the whole organization because we had to sidestep around one or the other. You had to choose sides. 00:23:43.965 --> 00:23:45.465 Who am I going to be with? 00:23:45.465 --> 00:23:49.465 And if you're with one, you're against the other automatically. 00:23:50.032 --> 00:23:54.266 So finally, I was able to talk to them because they both worked for me. 00:23:54.266 --> 00:23:57.566 I was finally able to say, look, we got to get this resolved. 00:23:57.566 --> 00:23:58.700 This can't go on any longer. 00:23:58.700 --> 00:24:00.532 It had been over a year at this point. 00:24:00.532 --> 00:24:01.766 I even brought their husbands into it. 00:24:01.766 --> 00:24:03.266 Do you mind if I pull them in? 00:24:03.266 --> 00:24:07.099 Can you encourage them to meet with me so that we can deal with this? Yes. Okay. 00:24:07.099 --> 00:24:10.099 And they sat down to meet. 00:24:10.133 --> 00:24:13.133 11 is where I started. 00:24:13.465 --> 00:24:15.365 Listen, I know this has been a big deal. 00:24:15.365 --> 00:24:25.066 I know this has been hard for both of you, but I believe the Holy Spirit lives in both of you, I truly do. 00:24:25.066 --> 00:24:31.599 You're both women that I would point other people to as women who should be respected and admired and sought for advice. 00:24:31.599 --> 00:24:38.000 The Holy Spirit is at work within both of you, and I believe he's going to move us forward through this. 00:24:38.000 --> 00:24:42.633 I believe he's going to show us a way he will. 00:24:42.633 --> 00:24:44.766 That was our starting point to call them up. 00:24:44.766 --> 00:24:47.032 Remind them the Holy Spirit is alive in us. 00:24:47.032 --> 00:24:51.865 We can depend on him to get through what seems impossible. 00:24:52.400 --> 00:24:55.099 Don't go it alone. 00:24:55.099 --> 00:24:58.099 And then third, look at verse four. 00:25:00.566 --> 00:25:03.000 Rejoice in the Lord always. 00:25:03.000 --> 00:25:06.432 Again I will say, rejoice. 00:25:06.432 --> 00:25:10.566 In the midst of a dispute make sure you move towards choosing joy. 00:25:12.400 --> 00:25:15.400 Choose joy. 00:25:15.865 --> 00:25:18.066 Rejoice in the Lord. 00:25:18.066 --> 00:25:21.066 Paul knows that disputes are hard. 00:25:21.066 --> 00:25:22.333 Division is hard. 00:25:22.333 --> 00:25:25.000 Conflict is hard. 00:25:25.000 --> 00:25:35.766 And this is, as a result, probably a heavy message for all of us because you're probably thinking of someone you have had conflict with or maybe currently are. 00:25:37.365 --> 00:25:42.566 And it's so easy to let a conflict dominate your life and steal your joy. 00:25:45.266 --> 00:25:48.266 And especially some that are really hard. 00:25:48.965 --> 00:25:56.965 Hey, I get why it would you still have to find a way to choose joy in the midst of that. 00:25:57.365 --> 00:26:03.532 He says, rejoice in the Lord, even in the midst Euodia and Syntyche, fighting with one another even in the midst. 00:26:03.532 --> 00:26:06.532 Rejoice in the Lord always. 00:26:06.665 --> 00:26:10.900 In case you didn't hear me the first time, again I will say, rejoice. 00:26:10.900 --> 00:26:12.232 Move towards joy. 00:26:14.266 --> 00:26:20.465 This is a choice that every one of us has to make. 00:26:21.633 --> 00:26:27.799 In every situation and in every day, there are a million things that can derail you and take you off course. 00:26:27.799 --> 00:26:33.566 Look, I heard a story this week of a guy who works at a ski resort, a ski lodge. 00:26:33.566 --> 00:26:38.965 And if you've never been to some big fancy ski resort, I don't just mean Paoli Peaks. 00:26:38.965 --> 00:26:41.133 That's nice. That's fun. 00:26:41.133 --> 00:26:44.965 But I'm talking about, you know, where you can't see the top of the mountains up in the clouds. 00:26:44.965 --> 00:26:47.532 It's it's a magical experience. 00:26:47.532 --> 00:26:48.833 It's unbelievable. 00:26:48.833 --> 00:26:51.200 It's so much fun. 00:26:51.200 --> 00:26:54.932 And here he is in this beautiful setting in the mountains. 00:26:54.932 --> 00:26:57.566 People, families, skiing, enjoying one another. 00:26:57.566 --> 00:26:59.465 And in comes this lady, irate. 00:27:01.099 --> 00:27:04.099 Just completely unraveled. 00:27:04.266 --> 00:27:08.665 How is it that you are out of ketchup packets? 00:27:08.766 --> 00:27:10.766 Where is the ketchup? 00:27:10.766 --> 00:27:13.165 You know, probably hungry from skiing. 00:27:13.165 --> 00:27:16.165 Totally out of control. 00:27:16.599 --> 00:27:23.633 And he pauses and kind of gives her a warm smile and says, ma'am, are you on vacation? 00:27:23.633 --> 00:27:28.299 Well, yes, I am, and you're ruining it. 00:27:28.900 --> 00:27:32.465 Well, ma'am, I'll find you some ketchup. 00:27:32.465 --> 00:27:35.200 Don't let ketchup ruin your vacation. 00:27:35.200 --> 00:27:37.400 It's going to be okay. 00:27:37.400 --> 00:27:38.365 And that was enough for her to go. 00:27:38.365 --> 00:27:39.099 You know what? 00:27:39.099 --> 00:27:42.099 You're right. 00:27:42.566 --> 00:27:45.266 And look, I know it may not be ketchup packets for you. 00:27:45.266 --> 00:27:49.165 I know it could be something very serious. 00:27:51.633 --> 00:27:54.865 But too many times, it's the ketchup packet that derails us. 00:27:54.865 --> 00:27:56.532 How do we move towards joy? 00:27:56.532 --> 00:27:59.000 How do you choose joy in the midst of conflict? 00:27:59.000 --> 00:28:03.799 How do you know to de-escalate, to not let their anger dominate you? 00:28:03.799 --> 00:28:08.432 I mean, to have the presence of mind in that moment that this guy had this amazing. 00:28:10.633 --> 00:28:11.865 Choose joy. 00:28:11.865 --> 00:28:13.032 Move towards joy. 00:28:13.032 --> 00:28:20.965 And then number four, look at verse six-- five, let your reasonableness be known to everyone. 00:28:20.965 --> 00:28:23.932 The Lord is at hand. 00:28:23.932 --> 00:28:27.932 Lastly, we need to keep an eternal perspective in the midst of the conflict. 00:28:27.932 --> 00:28:30.266 Keep an eternal perspective. 00:28:30.266 --> 00:28:34.232 It's so easy to just be down in the weeds and forget the bigger picture. 00:28:34.232 --> 00:28:35.732 Keep an eternal perspective. 00:28:35.732 --> 00:28:41.432 Now that word reasonableness, reasonableness I've highlighted in the notes. 00:28:41.432 --> 00:28:45.732 In fact, I've listed out a number of different translations because. 00:28:47.266 --> 00:28:58.400 One of the ways you can do Bible study, when you're wondering which words to focus in on, to study, is to just simply look a lot across a lot of different translations. 00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:04.066 And if you see them each handling a word differently, they're all wrestling with what's the best way to translate this? 00:29:04.066 --> 00:29:08.532 If they translated the same word over and over again, you know, there's a lot of agreement here. 00:29:08.532 --> 00:29:12.299 But just look here in your notes, I listed out the ESV reasonableness. 00:29:12.299 --> 00:29:14.266 That's the translation we're teaching from. 00:29:14.266 --> 00:29:24.865 But the NASB, it's a gentle spirit; NIV, gentleness; CSB, graciousness; GB which is the Geneva Bible, a precursor to the King James, patient mind. 00:29:26.133 --> 00:29:29.333 King James, moderation; New Living, considerate. 00:29:29.333 --> 00:29:32.333 This is Young's Literal, forbearance. 00:29:33.266 --> 00:29:38.365 That's probably a little closer to what it means forbearance. 00:29:38.365 --> 00:29:41.665 It's not just that I'm going to be gentle. 00:29:41.665 --> 00:29:46.865 In fact, one dictionary said it this way. 00:29:46.865 --> 00:29:52.900 This is where I'm not insisting on every right of every letter, of every law or custom. 00:29:52.900 --> 00:29:55.900 Instead, I have a yielding disposition. 00:29:57.732 --> 00:30:05.665 I don't know about you, but when I get into that place where everything has to be my way, every law must be kept. 00:30:05.900 --> 00:30:07.365 And I'm seeing it everywhere. 00:30:07.365 --> 00:30:09.865 All the wrongs done against me. 00:30:09.865 --> 00:30:13.299 Man, that is a place I don't like being. 00:30:13.766 --> 00:30:15.799 I'm not easy to be around. 00:30:15.799 --> 00:30:18.799 But when it is, you know what? 00:30:19.032 --> 00:30:19.700 You go first. 00:30:19.700 --> 00:30:21.266 It's going to be okay. 00:30:21.266 --> 00:30:22.633 Go ahead. 00:30:22.633 --> 00:30:23.833 We'll get through this. 00:30:23.833 --> 00:30:26.965 I don't have to be first every single time. 00:30:26.965 --> 00:30:30.566 This is the mindset that Paul talked about in chapter two. 00:30:30.566 --> 00:30:32.766 Do nothing from rivalry or conceit, but with humility. 00:30:32.766 --> 00:30:34.799 Count others more significant than yourselves. 00:30:34.799 --> 00:30:38.400 Let each of you look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others. 00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:50.432 Have this mind among yourselves, which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although he existed in the form of God, did not consider equality with God a thing to be grasped or held onto, but instead emptied himself, becoming like a man. 00:30:52.465 --> 00:30:56.032 And becoming obedient to the point of death. 00:30:56.766 --> 00:30:59.766 Death on the cross. 00:31:01.000 --> 00:31:07.000 I think this is a challenge for everyone and my challenge to you this week. 00:31:07.633 --> 00:31:18.965 Look for opportunities to yield to others, to allow others to go first, even when you could, even when you should. 00:31:19.000 --> 00:31:26.633 And I'm not saying you always have to let everyone else go first, but this week in particular, practice letting others go first. 00:31:26.633 --> 00:31:33.200 Just see what it feels like that I don't always have to be the one to go first. 00:31:33.200 --> 00:31:36.732 I can yield my preferences to others. 00:31:36.900 --> 00:31:43.465 It's a powerful spiritual exercise to try it even in the simplest of things, at a traffic light or wherever. 00:31:46.865 --> 00:31:47.833 Walk in joy. 00:31:47.833 --> 00:31:49.566 Keep an eternal perspective. 00:31:49.566 --> 00:31:53.566 This is so important because at the end of the day, whatever conflict you're facing. 00:31:55.865 --> 00:32:10.932 Try to imagine how you would feel about it if, in the midst of the conflict, you saw the white horse coming down from heaven, and on him sat the one called Faithful and true, how would you feel? 00:32:10.932 --> 00:32:12.766 Would you feel good about the conflict? 00:32:12.766 --> 00:32:15.432 Would you feel like this was worth it? 00:32:15.432 --> 00:32:17.465 And of course everything will be put in proper light. 00:32:17.465 --> 00:32:18.633 But you know what I'm saying? 00:32:18.633 --> 00:32:19.165 Would you go? 00:32:19.165 --> 00:32:22.165 No, I was standing on the right thing. 00:32:23.400 --> 00:32:26.532 Keep an eternal perspective with this. 00:32:26.532 --> 00:32:29.099 Honor him in the way I'm approaching this. 00:32:29.099 --> 00:32:32.900 Is this building up the church or dividing it? 00:32:32.900 --> 00:32:38.566 Am I fighting just for my rights, or am I fighting for the rights of Christ? 00:32:40.200 --> 00:32:41.932 We're going to take communion in just a second. 00:32:41.932 --> 00:32:46.165 In fact, if you're helping to distribute communion, go ahead and prepare those elements. 00:32:46.165 --> 00:32:48.833 If you would slip out and get ready for that. 00:32:48.833 --> 00:32:56.833 I think one of the most powerful ways I've seen this lived out is at a marriage conference Julie and I used to teach at called The Weekend to Remember. 00:32:56.833 --> 00:32:59.465 Have anybody has anybody ever been to that conference? 00:32:59.465 --> 00:33:01.365 I know a couple of us went recently. 00:33:01.365 --> 00:33:03.465 I see any hands. There's one. 00:33:04.900 --> 00:33:05.766 There's a few out here. 00:33:05.766 --> 00:33:07.066 We go up there. 00:33:07.066 --> 00:33:08.732 Yeah, a few of us have been. 00:33:08.732 --> 00:33:11.200 And this year we talked about it just a little. 00:33:11.200 --> 00:33:12.532 We didn't do a good job promoting it. 00:33:12.532 --> 00:33:14.633 Next year will promote it a little better. 00:33:14.633 --> 00:33:17.599 You really should at some point in your married life. 00:33:17.599 --> 00:33:19.965 Or if you're engaged, you really should check it out. 00:33:19.965 --> 00:33:22.965 It's such a huge, powerful weekend. 00:33:23.066 --> 00:33:32.633 The thing they said that weekend that I think is so transformational for so many is just one simple phrase your spouse is not your enemy. 00:33:34.165 --> 00:33:36.032 And it's amazing how many people hear that. 00:33:36.032 --> 00:33:43.965 And and for the first time, for some, they realize, okay, they really feel like my enemy right now. 00:33:43.965 --> 00:33:45.200 But I'm going to say that on faith. 00:33:47.066 --> 00:33:48.900 My spouse is not my enemy. 00:33:48.900 --> 00:33:51.900 They are not the adversary. 00:33:52.665 --> 00:33:56.333 And when they get that mental shift, there is an enemy who's real. 00:33:56.333 --> 00:33:59.333 There is one. 00:33:59.365 --> 00:34:01.865 But we're not going to make each other the enemy anymore. 00:34:01.865 --> 00:34:07.766 Yeah, we have real conflict, real stuff we've got to work through, and we don't know how we're going to get through it all yet. 00:34:07.766 --> 00:34:10.766 But you're not my enemy anymore. 00:34:11.333 --> 00:34:19.300 And I think if we can have that mindset with one another here and it's okay to say we're in conflict, I don't know how we're going to get through this. 00:34:19.300 --> 00:34:22.800 I'm not sure I like you right now, but I really want us to sort this out. 00:34:22.800 --> 00:34:25.800 But I'm not going to call you my enemy. 00:34:26.266 --> 00:34:28.432 I'm going to trust that Christ is going to work through us. 00:34:29.699 --> 00:34:33.865 That's a powerful step to take me and go ahead and start distributing the communion. 00:34:33.865 --> 00:34:35.599 I'm going to give you directions around this.