Train For Love Like An Olympian Trains For Gold

I explore why true wisdom starts with owning our ignorance and how that stance transforms love, leadership, and parenting. We move from self-help as validation to training as practice, with humility, curiosity, and daily reps as the engine of real change.

• The School of Life insight that sparks the talk
• why admitting ignorance unlocks growth
• the difference between consuming and training
• practicing empathy in texts, calls, and conflict
• using shame as a guide, not a cage
• seeking depth and compatibility beyond surface scenes
• meeting new people as catalysts for clarity
• building repairs that are fast, clean, and kind
• focusing on what you can control: your reps
• why this show exists: service over influence

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Transcript

Sunday Solo: Why This Series

School Of Life And A Big Idea

Wisdom Begins With Admitting Ignorance

Two Paths Of Self-Help

Training To Be Better At Love

Communicating With Empathy And Presence

Study Relationships Like A Craft

Curiosity Over Certainty

Shame As A Signal, Not A Sentence

Against The Myth Of Happy Solitude

Where To Meet Depth And Compatibility

SPEAKER_00 0:48

What is up, y'all? Happy Sunday morning. I figured I might start doing like some feed the soul sermons Saturday or Sundays, excuse me. Uh maybe every Sunday just do like a solo episode, or every Sunday I can I have the time to record. Um I uh there's a lot of things I want to talk about that I don't really get to when I'm interviewing guests because we're focusing on specific subjects or topics. So yeah, I just had something to talk about. I'm sitting down here Saturday night, the night before I'm gonna launch this episode, and just wanted to uh chat about something that was honestly inspired by this video I just watched by if you know I've been a big fan of Alain de Botan for a while now. He's the founder, the founder, the founder of the School of Life. Um has written a ton of books. The School of Life produces these courses. I used to take these courses online. Basically, you can sign up for them on their website. People all over the world join them, either on relationships or grief, uh, self-knowledge, um familial work, parenting. There's a bunch of different stuff. There is just, I don't know, it's a it's a really, it's really a phenomenal thing that he's built. But there's this video I came across on YouTube and I shared it on Instagram. So if you see the link, check it out. It's about 20, 25 minutes long. It's longer, but you know, it's worth, it's worth your eyes and ears. It's it's really deep, it's really heartfelt. He talks about a lot of stuff from selecting a partner to make like contributing to making a relationship work, you know. I mean, there's just there's a lot of gold in there. Um, but a a quote that he sort of touched on um from Greek philosophy, I think it was mainly Socrates, but it could have been from a couple other Greek philosophers too, that really stuck out to me and made me want to record something tonight is something like this the birth of true wisdom exists with the knowledge of your own ignorance. And I'm gonna read that one more time so you can rear it. The birth of true wisdom exists with the knowledge of your own ignorance. So I think it's really important to think about that short sentence before I start talking about it. What comes up for you, what initially comes up in your mind, you know, uh, where does your where do your thoughts go? You know. Um and I think for me, that's the main ingredient that I look for in anyone I bond with at this point in my life because of the work I've done on myself. Because, you know, I talk about self-awareness a lot. I think that's the key to good leadership. I think it's the key to good parenting. I think it's the key to good relationships. I think it's the key to good marriages, I think it's the key to being a good coworker, you know, anything. Uh you have to get to know yourself incredibly well. Look at your understand your blind spots, understand your triggers, understand when you shut down, understand when you close, you know, understand what makes you happy, what lifts you up, you know. Um it's incredibly important. You know, the focus of of this talk is really gonna be around looking inward. I think now we live in a culture where it's it's very popular to go to therapy. It's extremely popular to read self-help books. I'm gonna take a sip of this tea real quick here. It's incredibly popular to read self-help books. Incredibly popular to read or to excuse me, watch YouTube content around relationships, around narcissism, around identity, around all these things. Okay. The difference in the person that is uh consuming these things to be a better partner versus to deal with their pain, it's pretty stark, right? And I think I'm gonna paint a picture of two people. The first person reads these books, watches these YouTube channels, and what happens is it validates their experience. So they say, Yeah, exactly. My ex was a narcissist, or my ex had an affair or cheated on me, or my ex used to yell and scream or say this stuff, or my parents did this, or my kids are like this, or whatever, right? It's it's very much a I'm going to absorb therapy content. I'm going to search on Instagram, I'm going to watch YouTube content that sort of speaks to my victimhood, that sort of speaks, that puts, allows me to feel empowered in a way that blames nearly entirely on other people, or allows me to take a tiny bit of responsibility in the form of I chose wrong, or I didn't see the red flags, which I find ridiculous. I find that such a cowardice thing to entirely blame a relational dysfunction or something not working out because you didn't see the red flags. That's not taking accountability. The other person goes to therapy, watches YouTube content, watches these Instagram therapy videos, and instead, they're using this content, this education to look at how they messed up. Where could I have been better? Where could I have communicated more compassionately? Where could I have tried to understand the person more? It doesn't mean that your pain isn't real, that you might not have been mistreated, that that relationship or something shouldn't have actually ended because it wasn't healthy. But ultimately, if you want to get better, you have to train. It is not training to watch video and video and video and just blame everything else and blame it on situation and never put it into practice. The best athletes, they have to practice, they have to train. They don't just watch things and then make it up. That's not how you get better. That's the same thing with being a better human being in a relationship. It's the same thing with being a better human being in general, spiritual, psychological, emotional, be a help, being a healthier human being in all those ways. I'll share something with you guys that I have been doing for a long time, honestly. Um obviously I've been in a handful of relationships. And one thing that I've done more and more as I've aged and as I've, I would say became become more wise and more patient, even while sitting in pain, because obviously being in chronic pain changes your ability to be present. But I've really fought against that. And I I really work on my presence every day as much as I can. Um is that when I communicate with somebody, whether it's a text message or a phone call or face-to-face, I'm always thinking about how I said something, why I said something, what my body language was like if I was in person, what the text, how the text message read, not just from my perspective, but from their perspective too, right? Knowing their triggers and their emotional history, how it might come off to them, right? How can I write something that settles well with them? One of the most uncomfortable situations I find myself in is when I'm communicating in that way to somebody that isn't doing the same thing, right? They're gonna continue to sort of double down their blind ignorance. Um, they're not gonna look for their shadows, um, they're gonna scapegoat apologies, they're going to, you know, undermine everyone else's feelings but their own. And they'll do it in many people do it in subtle, very intelligent, um, sort of covert and manipulative ways. And it's not always on purpose. It's just people like they, they do that thing and they get a response. And the response is positive in their mind until they they become accustomed to behaving like that. Uh, so it's not like anyone's doing that is like an inherently bad person. That's not the case, it's not the case. They're just acting out of their what people call shadow, right? Um, they're not really sitting in their soul, sitting in their spirit and being conscious in how they communicate from another person's absorption of whatever they're doing, whether that's talking in person, again, text messaging, a phone call, whatever, right? And if you want to legitimately get better at relationships, if you're in a relationship now and it's a good relationship, and you want it to continue to go, continue to progress, take the time to study. You're studying for your job, you're studying for some sort of hobby you're in, right? Why would you not also study the art of being in love? Why would you not also study how to be a better communicator? How to be a better how to go about conflict resolution better? How would you not study how to do the little things better, leaving those notes, buying those flowers? And I'm not just speaking from the man's perspective to the woman, I'm also speaking to women on showing up for your male partners. Study. Get better, put those studies into practice, right? We we go to we take math classes, social studies, history, uh, reading, arts, all these things. Why? The most important thing we're gonna do here is how we treat ourselves and how we treat others. It doesn't matter how brilliant you are, how much money you have, if you don't have very good, deep relationships, the the amount of joy in your life, one will never reach what it would if you have actual deep relationships where you see others and they see you in totality, where you're vulnerable, where you're authentic, where you're not an asshole, where you're kind, where you're patient, where you still speak your mind, but in a compassionate way, where you're looking for ways that you're wrong. I mean, we live in a society now where everyone politically thinks they're immediately right because they have an opinion, whether you're the four vaccines, anti-vaccines, uh, you you think climate change exists or you or it doesn't, you know, or you're you don't believe science is real. It's like all of a sudden we have an opinion and it becomes fact, and that's ridiculous. Like, you know, we have study, we have scientific study for a reason, right? And of course, science can prove itself wrong, obviously, but science looks to prove itself wrong. And I want to implore all of you out there, if you want to be a better person in a relationship, if you want to be a better parent, look for the ways where you can improve yourself. Look for the where the ways that you don't think you're wrong, where you don't think you're what you're doing is completely correct, right? Continue to ask those questions. It's the same question I ask about faith. You know, I don't believe blind faith is healthy for human beings. If you're religious, explore why you believe in the things you believe. Is it fear of death? Is it fear of not seeing someone again? Is it fear of persecution? Or is it love? Is it truly love? Is it making you a better person? Is it connecting you with your fellow humans, not just the ones that believe the same way you do, but everyone, then okay, it's probably doing good things for you. But it's really your perspective. And you cannot have an you can't you cannot have an unbiased perspective unless you explore the counteropinions and the counterpoints to all the things you believe in and feel too. You have to keep searching, you have to keep asking big questions, not just of others, but of yourself too. Why do I believe in this? Why do I feel like love is this way? Why do I feel like my relationship is good in this way, right? What am I hiding from? What am I running towards? What are the actual positive things? Am I just telling myself stories in certain ways? But I will tell you this. The most important thing any of us will ever do on this planet while we're alive, and your life could end tomorrow, my life could end tomorrow, my life could end tonight. I mean, we we have zero guarantee of survival on any sort of scale. The only guarantee we truly have is that we eventually will die, even if we create some technology, you know, that can somehow suspend our our actual like psyche longer. I mean, most people will probably still choose to die. I think humans will, because that makes life um it makes life beautiful, is the reality of death. Um, it makes things meaningful. But death alone doesn't make things meaningful. It gives you the opportunity to find meaning and to find purpose and to contribute to the greater good and to build a family. I don't just mean like a biological family, but a family, a cohort of human beings you love, human beings you show up for that would show up for you. Why would we not want to get as good as possible in whatever time we have on this planet at the one thing that is literally going to be the most important for all of us if we're actually really honest with ourselves? And that's people, humans, especially those closest to you, but even strangers on the street, even those that haven't seen, you know, things yet, that might be walking around ignorant, that might be thinking they're right in every way, you know, still having finding compassion for those folks, being able to have conversations with them and connecting on through lines that you can find. I mean, if you're in a relationship now, I hope you really listen to these words. Like I one, I love love. I having had relationships that have failed um on account of my myself and the people I was with too, there's responsibility on both ends. I only look at the things that I need to get better at. And that's what I focus on. I I can't control what anyone else does. And so when I um made mistakes, when I didn't show up, when I wasn't honest, when I um acted uh out of shame or anger or um jealousy or any any of these other emotions we experience as human beings, like that that is where I had been focusing to learn about myself. And that's why I'm a much different man now, honestly, um, in my mid-30s than when I was when I was in my 20s, even because of how I've utilized my own mistakes and how I've grown from pain. And that doesn't guarantee that I won't make mistakes again, but they'll they'll definitely be different and they won't be as they won't be as all all consuming as I think they were in previous relationships. And I'm sharing this with you guys because I encourage you to look for those things, practice that, get better. Don't just blame other people. You know, just because you're really intelligent or, you know, you're um very spiritual or you're practice a certain religion, or you think yourself an intellectual, get better. Push yourself. You know, I've played music since I was nine years old, and um, you know, I've had a a um like a break from guitar and singing in the past two years because I had this pinky injury that was, I don't want to get into that, but random, random occurrence that my dog accidentally injured my pinky um in 2023 and I didn't play for a while, and now I'm starting to play again and write music. And I share this because there's never been a point where I'm satisfied with playing. Like I want to always get better. I want to learn more techniques. I want to be able to express myself more completely on the instrument with my voice, with writing. I want the music that comes out of me to be more closely aligned with the actual emotion that is in me. And that is the beauty of being a technically gifted and artistically gifted musician, is that you can practice so much that you can express your emotions perfectly through the instrument. And that's when people feel there's the song, right? They feel the lyrics. Oh, hone that craft in love. Hone that craft in life. Honor that craft not only with the person you love romantically, but your friends, your family. And if someone isn't meeting you there and not showing up for you, trust me, I get it. Be conscious of where you're putting in your energy, okay? Not everyone's gonna be receptive to this. And if you keep, you know, practicing self-awareness and you surround yourself with people that are ignorant and never gonna meet you there and they refuse to look at their own shit. Obviously, that's not a great environment for you to keep yourself in. Have some self-respect too. But be honest, right? Be honest about it. Make sure through really seeing it uh for what it is, seeing the person for who they are. Some people just they won't change. They refuse to. That might be someone you're related to, it might be someone you're in a relationship with, it might be someone you're married to, right? Those are probably the most unhealthy situations because no matter how much you love somebody, they're just not gonna change. They refuse. But there are people out there that are working in this way. They do want to be great at relationships, they do want to be great at loving, um, not just for their own benefit, but for the benefit of other people around them. Like, look, if I love somebody, I don't just want to be an incredible husband and father and partner because I want someone to like see that in me. I want, I really want to show up for my my future partner. I really want to show up for uh, you know, God willing, my my future children. You know, I want them to know that they're loved and safe every single day. That doesn't mean we won't have conflict and that doesn't mean we won't have disagreements and uh discipline. But the way those things are implemented through me are always going to be from a place of love and honor and respect, not from a place of contempt or fear. So I bring that I bring up the music part is because I play music all the time. I love to practice. I just love it, even with my injuries and how my arm is different, my rhythm is different. I love music. It's always been something that one, I'm naturally gifted at, so it makes it easier for me to practice. But like everyone, I started and I was terrible when I but I started when I was nine, you know, when I played guitar and started to sing. And I just really wanted to express myself that way. I remember seeing like a concert and seeing like a band on stage, and I was like, man, that's so awesome! Like all the crowd is looking at them and dancing and smiling and having a great time. Like, I want to create that for people. I want to create that experience. And you can create that experience in many ways. And it doesn't have to be in front of thousands of people because the most important people in your life are the ones right in front of your face right now, the ones that are showing up for you, the ones that pick up the phone and call, the ones that tell you they love you. And you might you're gonna meet new people that are gonna fall into that too. Don't let them go. Show up for them. Don't let fear guide your decisions or shame. Let your love open your heart. Let it continue to expand, let it flow out of you. When you go buy these self-help books, when you go search on YouTube, when you're following people on Instagram, follow those that are encouraging you to look at yourself and be better, not those that are helping you point fingers at other people more easily. There's so many of those um profiles that have millions of followers, and I know why people follow them. It's because you want to feel better about the shit you've done or the shit that's been done to you. I get it, dude. 100%. It's like taking some medicine, you know, just a little bit of painkiller, take the edge off. Oh, it feels good. Yeah, it feels good, you know? Yeah, that was that person. The person was a shit bag, right? Yeah, it's them. It's them, or is that yeah, you know, that was that situation, you know? And there might be some truth to that, but it's not the whole truth, right? Because very rarely do we love someone that is like completely toxic. We use that word a lot. This person's so toxic. You didn't think that in the first year, right? Well, they became toxic. I didn't see their true colors. Ah, there's a lot of gray there. There's a lot of nuance. Rather than looking for a right or wrong in totality in that, because it's probably more gray than black and white. Look at the one thing you can fully study. The body you live inside, the brain that you have, the soul that you have. Look at that. Look in the mirror. Don't look for excuses to make it easier on yourself. And I'm not saying to shame yourself, but shame does serve a purpose for sure. It lights a fire under our ass, hopefully, to be better people. Only people that are empathic feel shame. Only people that want to be better feel guilty. Only those that have hearts that are feeling that are being used feel shame. People, the people that don't feel shame are the actual people that have narcissistic issues, that have uh social personality disorder issues because they have they can't tap into the feeling of shame. They don't feel guilty for anything they've done, no matter how egregious it is, no matter how much they pain they cause. They just they have zero, or maybe they're just ignoring it to, you know, make themselves not they're avoiding the feeling entirely. But if you feel shame, it's for a reason. It's the opportunity to get better. The shame should not control you. A lot of people drown in their shame, right? Many, many men and women drown in their shame, and that's not what it's for. It's to Be used as a motivator and an opportunity to be better. An opportunity to expand your love more, to admit you made mistakes, to apologize if there's space for that. And to get better. And the only way you can actually know if you're getting better is to practice it with other people. That's another problem in today's society is we're glamorizing singlehood. It's ridiculous. None of us are meant to be alone. Now I know it's hard to find a partner, trust me. I understand that. But there's many people who are uh just living in solitude, making excuses, saying that they're, oh, I'm so happy, this and that. Like, no, you're not. You might live a decent life for sure. But if you're really honest with yourself, you're saying that because you've had so many dysfunctional relationships, or maybe a really dysfunctional marriage where you're so scared to open your heart again to find someone that might actually meet or see you, you don't want to ruin your little bubble of safety because you're just scared, right? But ultimately, if you're really honest with yourself, if your like fear cortex was shut down for a day and someone asks you, you know, would you want a partner to share life with? Anyone who's actually answering honestly and in a healthy way would say yes. People that say no, I'll show you trauma somewhere. If I were to get them in the room, we would actually talk about it. I would show you trauma, either from a past relationship, from some sort of issue, from childhood, from whatever. I would show you that. We are wired in our DNA, in the fabric of our bodies, but also in the fabric of our spirit to connect and love other people that aren't just like us either. Think about that. I mean, there's been studies on this when children are born and they don't get like physical touch with certain parents, that they don't live as long of a life, or they have they're more predisposed to mental health issues like depression or anxiety. Tons of different studies around that. Um, around uh, you know, neonatal um sort of timelines when people grow up and and how, you know, physical contact with their mother or their father or you know, certain caregivers is not there, or they're abused very young, whether it's emotionally or whatever, you know. And if you fall into this category, I'm not saying that you you're gonna be this person, you have to be this person. You can change. That's the beautiful thing about being an adult. No matter how much trauma you've lived in, no matter how many times you've been hurt, you can choose at any time to be different. It takes a lot of work, yeah, but you can choose. And it's worth it. If you're sticking yourself in solitude, lying to yourself that singlehood is like gonna be awesome and you're gonna be cool with being single for the rest of your life, you you're you're bullshitting yourself. Now, I'm not saying that dating isn't exhausting, that social media and dating apps haven't um commodified human beings, like pieces of scrapbooks you swipe left to right through, and really just reading like a small paragraph and looking at some photos, and that the majority of human beings out there in the dating pool right now, because of our incredibly narcissistic leaning culture, uh, is are very shallow. That is a problem. There's a lot of shallowness, there's not a lot of depth, but there are deep people, and the only way to meet them is to connect, go out. You have to go do stuff, right? Like even if it's once a week, like look, I my arm hurts all the time now. You know, like I am in pretty debilitating pain most of the time. But I can I've been able to get better at separating it, and I'm like, look, I want to, I'm going out there. I'm meeting people, I want new people in my life. I, I, you know, the ability to start a family and to build a beautiful relationship isn't gonna fall out of the sky for me. I have to go meet people. I have to go put myself in those situations, particularly in situations where I'm gonna meet the type of woman that I actually want to partner with, you know, that doesn't really look like bars to me. It's definitely probably not around consuming alcohol. I mean, you might get lucky, that might work for you, right? But it's certainly not where like usually emotionally deep people in service caring about others are, you know. There's a lot of other places you can look for that, right? Spiritual gatherings, um, you know, like there's yoga, there's other things that you can do where people that maybe are a little bit more tapped into who they are and they're searching for that might be. And I just name those because they're general. It doesn't have to be those things. There's a lot of different things, but it it might not be like drinking, you know, it might not be like um consuming shit that's just gonna make people feel bad. So uh be more open to where you're gonna go meet people. And if you are in a relationship already, you are in a marriage, don't shut down to meeting new people. We need to continue to meet new people. People will come into our lives and they help us grow and change. And um sometimes that strengthens our relationship. Sometimes it actually contributes to ending the relationship because maybe we needed someone to like light a spark in our eyes to be like, look, this actually isn't for me. You know, I've been, I've been sort of making excuses for it and it's just mediocre and it's not meeting my needs, and we've tried and it's just not there, or there's something missing, you know. But again, I always lean on the side on do everything you can to make something work if it truly, if it uh is of true value to you. But sometimes we can't force stuff that's not there. Compatibility is a real thing. I I do believe compatibility is built. Uh I know Alain De Bouton talks about that, but I believe it's equally as important to start from the same general vicinity in all these areas. And I'm talking about sexual compatibility, spiritual compatibility, psychological compatibility, emotional depth compatibility, emotional intelligence compatibility. Because that's when people get into these relationships where they feel like they're they've been with someone for two, three, four, five years. Maybe they're married somewhere for 10 years, and they like they grow apart. And they grow apart because they started in different areas. They just weren't aware enough to start from the same place. People usually don't grow apart who start in the same area, they grow together. And that's when beautiful relationships and marriages are formed until death. I mean, it's like those things are soul opening. I mean, that's what I search for, is something like that. And I have friends that are in relationships like that, and God is a beautiful to witness. No, it's not that they don't fight, it's not that they don't argue, but when they do, they repair quickly, they love each other, they show up for each other, and they just get better because they're committed, they're committed to it. It's a practice, it's an art. So I'm gonna leave you with this, right? Like instead of just focusing on healing, uh, the pain inside of you, which is a great thing to focus on, instead of just blaming other people, or um, and I'm talking in a relational sense, look at yourself. Look at yourself deeply. Where are you being ignorant? Where are you shutting down? Where are you lacking empathy or compassion? Reread the text messages you've sent people when they get triggered or when they get angry or when you hurt them. Reread them. Think, think about from their perspective what it might feel like, what they might, what they, how they might absorb the information, how they might have read the text. Doesn't mean you're responsible for everyone else's feelings, but sometimes you might be. And it behooves you to really look into that. Really. You'll get better at it as you do it more often, right? I'm gonna read a little bit of this thing that I typed up, um, and it might lead me into sort of ending this conversation because we're at almost 30 minutes here, and I want to keep these somewhat brief. Um, I hope you find value in this. Um, I hope it makes you think and feel. And uh I, you know, I don't get paid by these guys at all, but the school, I can't recommend the school of life enough. Um, I'm working on a book right now that I think you all guys are gonna love when I'm able to get it done. Uh, it's a short one. Uh, it's really just focusing on soul and spirit, really, those two things in the context of our tangible reality and uh particularly how we relate to ourselves and one another from childhood until until death. And so I want to I want to read this because I kind of typed this up and um I wanted to write an Instagram post about this, but this might kind of kick some more feelings off inside. Yeah. Socrates once said that the only true wisdom is knowing you know nothing. Not because knowledge is useless, not because certainty is weak, but because the moment you believe you figure you figured everything out, you stop growing. We live in a time where everyone has an opinion, everyone has a platform, everyone has a take. Very few people have humility. God, dude, humility is so sexy. I'm just like humility, humbleness, I mean, man, probably one of the most sexiest qualities a human being can have. Relational success doesn't come from being the smartest person in the room. It comes from being the most curious, from being willing to say, I may be wrong. From being open to seeing your blind spots instead of defending them. The most dangerous version of ignorance isn't not knowing, it's thinking you already know. Wisdom today isn't loud, it isn't performative, it doesn't need validation, it's quiet, it listens, it asks better questions, it pauses before reacting, it seeks to understand before being understood. That's stealth wisdom, depth without ego, confidence without arrogance, strength without domination in relationships, in business, and leadership, in parenting, the edge doesn't belong to the loudest voice. It belongs to the one who understands how much there is still to learn and is has the courage to explore that within themselves. The birth of real wisdom begins when your need to be right becomes smaller than your desire to grow. Humility isn't weakness, it's the foundation of every strong mind and every strong relationship. And the deeper you go, the more you realize you're just getting started. I mean, that's I think that's pretty good to end it on. Um I was working on some writing tonight that I could post tomorrow. I hope you guys find value in this. I'm gonna start doing more like Sunday, Sunday Feed the Soul sermons uh that are like you know 10, 20, 30 minutes long, just like this. Um but if you have a comment, if you have input, if you want to work with me, shoot me an email, coaching at nicobarassa.com. You can always head over to the website www.nicobarassa.com. Um feel free to reach out. I am not as active on Instagram these days as I was in the past, you know, like three, four years ago. And that's intentional. I think eventually, you know, my focus is really to um create a home and build a family. And uh I will spend less and less time on social media. I will probably have some, I will, I will definitely keep the podcast going. This is a passion project. I love this. Um, I will probably have someone cut clips of the podcast and post that instead of me all the time um doing it. And and I say this because, like, guys, there's a lot of life out there to live. I mean, you're listening to this right now, most likely because you're tapped in, you want to be better for yourself and for the people around you. You want to find real, compatible, lifelong love. Or maybe you've already found it and you just want to take care of it. Maybe you already are a parent and you just want to be the best parent you can be. And I really honor your ears being here and you spending time with me to get better together. Because as much as I talk about these things, it is a daily practice of me to live up to whatever I'm preaching and hold myself accountable and for those around me as well, too. And I think to anyone that really knows me, like as a personal, close person in my life, a friend or like a confidant, um, they would reiterate that, like, yeah, I am the person you see online, that I am actually working on these things, that I hold space for a lot of people, that I am consistently showing up, um, despite what I'm going through in my own life. And that's because I wouldn't want to live any other way. You know, I'm not on here to sell courses. I'm not on here to make a bunch of money. I'm not on here to be an influencer in the therapy space. I'm on here because I care about humans. I care about our ability to be better, to problem solve, to figure out how to coexist and to let go of this tight, tight grip and addiction to have the answers for things that we're never going to be able to answer. So let's focus on the things we can. Much love to all you guys. And until I guess Monday or Tuesday when I launch an interview episode. I hope you enjoyed this. And uh, as always, please. I know I ask this a lot, but I ask it for a reason. Uh, if you haven't left the show or review, please do so. Like it means so much. It takes two seconds. It helps get the show higher up on the ratings, which helps the show grow and helps more people see the show just organically when they're on Apple Podcasts or Spotify. So, like, I'm asking you this humbly in in humility. Um, if you could right now, today, just if you're listening on Spotify, leave a five-star review on Spotify. And if you don't mind, leave one on Apple Podcasts too. If you could leave one on both, that would be wonderful. Really appreciate that. Um, and this isn't well, one, it's a way you can give back. So I appreciate it because all the work I put into this show and the editing and the time and all that stuff. But really, I want this to reach more people. I think we have incredible conversations on this show. I think um there's a lot of value here. And I want to engage more people. You know, just the past episode that launched, there's 32 countries accounted for and it's growing. And we've had many, many more countries listen on larger episodes with larger guests, and that's that's a blessing. I want that to continue to grow. Um, this podcast is not monetized in any way. I don't make a cent on it. Uh, and that's probably going to continue to be like that, to be honest. Um, it might change eventually. I don't know. But right now, it's not the goal. I mean, the goal right now is really to focus on the messaging, the content, um, what I'm sharing with people, and hopefully we can collectively get better together. So um I'll leave you with this. Go tell the people that matter to you you love them. If you're angry, if you're hurting, if you're pissed off with them, let it go for a little bit. Tell them you love them because you might not get the opportunity again. So think about that. See you guys soon.