Joyfully Married After

Have You Found The One?

May 02, 2022 Heath and Tracy Season 4 Episode 81
Joyfully Married After
Have You Found The One?
Show Notes Transcript

How do you know you've found THE ONE???

On today's episode, Heath and Tracy share the 5 things that solidified them know that they were each others THE ONE.

Tracy's 5 Things:

  1. Heath pursued me.
  2. I felt secure and myself around Heath.
  3. Heath made me laugh and made our relationship FUN.
  4. We could talk on the phone for hours without getting bored of one another.
  5. Heath's female friends had so much respect and love for him that I knew he was a keeper.

Heath's 5 Things:

  1. Tracy was so easy to have conversation with.
  2. No drama!
  3. I have always found Tracy visually appealing and still do.
  4. I couldn't find anything I didn't like.
  5. Tracy had a class about her and the way she carried herself was very attractive to me.

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How do you know you found the one? This is the jewel for the merit. After a podcast episode 81, we talking about finding the one. Is there such a thing. Everybody is looking for the one, but where are they? The one, what? You know, the one T H E like, wait a minute, like, all right. Like the one you want to spend the rest of your life with it was the one. Where's the one. How do you know when you found them? When you see them, you could be the one you ain't the one. Well, today we're gonna talk. How do we talk about it? We found the one when we found, well, I know this is what I'm gonna tell y'all. Okay. I'm going to tell you five things Cause there was probably more than five, but I'm going to tell you five things that told me Heath was the one and I got five as well. Ok I like That, how about that? I have five ways How I knew that queen Tracy was the one, so we don't get into it. It's kinda weird now that I think about it Why Cause it was so long ago. So we've been married almost 32 years. We've known each other. We've known that each other was the one for many decades now. Yes. It's been decades. Yeah. So the first thing I knew is that he pursued me. I had no, hesitation around. If he liked me or not, it was very easy to understand that he liked me and he wanted to be around me. So he pursued me. didn't have to go looking for him. Uh, I didn't have to figure out if we would go see each other today I was calling you. Hey, so what time are we going to connect tomorrow? Where are you going to be? Should I meet you? after class I'm going meet you with. I'm gonna meet you right there. And it was, so it was so exciting. It was so much fun. It was just to be honest with you, it was, it was clearly just a lot of fun that moment in our lives. When we were discovering one another, it was just a lot of fun. He made it fun. I tried to make it fun and we were just simply two people discovering one another. It wasn't anything more than that. I wasn't expecting anything from him. He wasn't expecting anything from me. Just fun. We just wanted to have fun. We were both in our senior year at Howard and I was like, Hey, obviously I had a boyfriend. I ain't got no husband. Let me get up out of here and just have some fun. So, the second thing was, I just really felt secure being myself around him. I felt like I didn't have to put on any airs that I could say anything. I wanted to say, I can dress any way I wanted to dress. I could wear my hair anyway. I wanted to wear my hair. It just didn't matter. It just. didn't Matter. Cuz I was digging you Exactly. And I knew that, and I knew that I didn't, I felt 100% myself, know, how you feel around your girls and you feel around your family. That's how I felt around him. Like when the first week of us dating each other, that's a pro tip for some people though, right? Is I wasn't digging necessarily your clothes or your, this or your, that. It was like, I was digging you. Right. Right. And that was real for me. Um, the third thing was, I was always laughing. I was always laughing. He told corny jokes. I thought they were, I know you do baby I thought they were so funny. there's that word again? We were having a lot of fun. He would tell jokes. He was very, the other thing y'all he was confident. He was really confident. He wasn't questioning me where I was going, what I was doing and all that stuff. You gotta be confident to tell corny jokes You right baby you, right. I was not a professional comedian No he was not but the confidence and the swag was something that was resonating with you. And so just as you were comfortable, I was comfotable yeah. It just made me feel comfortable how confident he was in his goofiness. Right. And that's attractive. It was attractive to me anyway, for you all that don't like goofy brothers. I do. we talked on the phone for hours when we did talk. It wasn't, you know, we were in college, we were in our senior year. That was, that was hard. That was hard. Yeah. It was like, we couldn't stop. It was like talking to somebody you knew like forever unforced conversations, marathon conversations. Yeah. We did that for what, two weeks? All the questions because we were busy, so we didn't see each other. And so we'd be on the phone all the time and not falling asleep on the phone, actually. Yeah. Learning about one another, learning your lights, learning your dislikes, learning about your background, learning your values. Curious about me. And I was just as curious about him. Um, and then the other thing is when I met his friends, most of them were female. I had a lot of female friends and I loved them and they loved me, you know, and, and we all went to Howard together. But they were his friends from high school. And see that told me a lot about him, that if this group of women, I mean, these were, these were some, these women are big time. These are doctors. Now they're lawyers. Now they're journalists. These people held. him Up, they Edify him. They loved him. They were like sisters to him. And to me, that spoke volumes, around who he was as a person and the level of respect that they had for him. And it just really, really drew me even closer to, this man that comes from. That comes from, you know, sometimes it's the way that you were reared though, the way that you were taught, what you've been exposed to, uh, you know, how to be a gentleman, how to have respect for people, respect for yourself, all of those things. I think. Part of what you were experiencing and they used to, so it was cool, right? It was just all, it was all fun. It was a lot of fun. Nah, you said you had some things about me. I absolutely have some things about you, baby. That I immediately knew that you were the one. So I have five, just like you have. So number one, the number one thing for me was the ease of conversation that I had with you. And I think that is so important where you have to understand. That this could be someone I could potentially be with forever. Like I should probably enjoy this person's company. I should probably have someone who is easy to talk with. I should probably have someone who supports me maybe when I'm feeling down. So wait a minute. You mean to tell me That you started thinking about being with me forever because of the way it was making you feel when you were around me. And you hadn't really felt that before. I was not thinking about, a long-term relationship and marriage when I met you. But one of the things that I discovered very early on into our relationship was how easy it was to talk with you. And I really enjoyed that. I really enjoy how upbeat our relationship with. It was casual yet. It was funny yet it was passionate yet it had depth yet it wasn't just one way or one sided. It had lots of layers and I just really enjoyed that. So that was the first thing. The second thing was, I was astonished at how little drama there was and our relationship. Yeah. I'm not a drama queen I'm feisty Yes. Yes. I'm talkative yes, but I'm not, I'm not a drama queen. I mean, I think people Who dated for awhile, or who have been in multiple relationships, have experienced a number of different things. Right. And so I think that sometimes when you have a relationship that you are going to experience a little drama or somebody as being a little extra, you know, those kinds of things, it's sort of like, well, why do we need to do that? Why don't we just. Talk about what's going on, but if a dudes is making me cry and making me angry all the time, I don't want to be with him. Right. Right. And so, and for guys, it was like, well, why are you doing this on, why are you going to do that? It was just like, it was just none of that. Right. I wasn't interested in, I think another word easy going, right. Because I'm an easy going guy. another word that comes to mind is potentially. But you were not pretentious at all, even though people think that I am, but if I said to you, Hey, let's go get a hot dog and hang out and sit on the wall over here and just talk. You were completely good with that. Like we had nice evenings out as well, and you weren't broke right. But the point, the point I'm making is that you. didn't feel a certain type of way, and you didn't stick your nose in the air. If I want to, just to go grab a hot dog or something from McDonald's and just hang out. I mean, let me say this. You are not the first person, you're the last person, but you're not the first person to tell me that I've dated millionaires. Who said, let's go to this cheap place in EA. And we went and I was fine with it. And afterwards they would say, I did that to see what you would do. Yeah. And I just never, I grew up very, uh, provided for let's just say that. And I grew up around people who had things. Yeah. So things aren't really what you think they are and they have nothing to do with the person. So when someone that I'm interested in. Wants to get to know me better. I don't, I don't care about that. Right. Yeah. I think that's connected to kind of the way that I was raised as well. Right. You know, just because somebody has a fancy car or certain kind of flashy clothes or whatever it is. Like my father taught me that that doesn't necessarily mean that they have a lot of money. So I learned that very early, uh, very early on in my life and was instilled in me. And it was also instilled in me that regardless of where people are in their lives, economically, socially, otherwise. is that People are people and you give them love and respect and you do the things because they are a human, just like you are. And so I think that was another thing that I was blessed with was just the knowingness of how you treat people. That's pretty much all it was I think that's what drew us to one another. Yeah, definitely. The third thing that really jumped out at me baby, was that you were visually appealing and you still are. I got, I got one that's beautiful on inside and out. As people say And what really attracted me to Tracy was like her smile. As you can see it just beams and just like cuts through whatever is going on my nickname in high school, some people used to call and you know, you have to, it was one of those things where it radiated through. Right. And Tracy has a, some people might call a agenda, say qua, in terms of like, just everything that comes through you, it just flows. Right. And, you know, I think, I think when you are on. Connected. And when you are good with yourself, that also is a big component of what attracts others. And so I think the, the, the moral of the story there is like, when you're doing that in a work, when you are in a great place, inwardly that, radiates, and it comes through you and it's attractive to others. So that's, that's a pro tip for people who. may be looking for a mate or wondering why they don't have a mate or really wants to be connected with someone else. Right. And I think that, when you do that inner work, make sure that you're in a great place and that will help you attract other people. Yeah, I'd have to say the year or so before I met him. That's exactly what I did. I did in our work. I didn't date anybody. Um, he, you may have been the second person I dated after I went through my year of uh Sensia and, um, I was very clear. I was very clear about who I was and who I wanted to be with. That's cool, baby. I guess it came through, you know, uh, the fourth point I wanted to touch on here was that I was amazed that I did not find anything that I didn't like about you I was like, how is this possible that like, and it's not, and that's a different thing, but I want to point out to people. That's a different thing than saying there's nothing wrong with. her Or that she's Not flawed, but for me, because I had this open mindset and I was really enjoying, getting to know Tracy, one of the things that really struck me was that I haven't found anything that I dislike about Tracy. My Aunt even asked him, so for me it was, yeah, it was funny. I had that conversation with your aunt. She was like how are things going I said, Aunty I can't, I can't find anything I don't like about. her She said hehehehe she just kinda chuckled, you know, she thought it was very cute, but I think that, I think that that was, that really stood out. We were having sex. She did, she did, uh, she was very straightforward that way. Um, but I think that, that, uh, you know, we had great conversations. We had, we talked about an array of topics where you went, we went a lot of different places together. We spent a lot of time together. We talked on the phone quite a bit. Wait a minute. You know what we did not say how many kids you want? I don't think we ever got, into that kinda talk we never had what kind of way you used to say things like once we decided we were going to get married, we would talk about it. But before then we didn't talk about. How to be married to each other. We were just enjoying each other's company. Once we decided to get married, you had those conversations. Right. But it was after we decided to get married. It wasn't before. Yeah. We just didn't make it complicated. Y'all I think people make it too complicated these days make it really simple. It is what it is. You're going to have challenges. You're going to have days you don't like each other, make it simple. Get together in the last point. Number five. what really struck me about Tracy was that you were just so classic the way that you move let's make let's be clear. Okay. So in my view, right, so I was raised, I was, I was reared by this well-bred Southern bell. Um, my mom was, you know, she was lady like she was dainty and she was Southern and she was She was very genteel. Yes. That's another good word. But the way that you carry yourself, the way you conducted yourself, the way that you move your diction, your agenda St. Quad you, it was a very kind of a Regal air. And I was like, uh, like that right there. It was the kind of thing that does it for me. Like, I can see that as my wife. And so that was another thing that just really struck me. Yeah. And just to share something with you, ladies, that's something I hear. Uh, I heard a lot when I was single was, oh, you you wife material, you know, there are people I would talk about. That were like, oh, you'll learn to love me. I'll be rich enough. I had those kinds of conversations with people. Believe in that. They're like, let's just, let's just try it because you're going to help me be what I want to be. Yeah, so glad I didn't take them up on there. The daily world, maybe we're a little bit dated where for many, many decades, but yeah, people were really, really direct about that. And I think what they saw was me being in my feminine self as people call it today, that that's who I was. I wasn't worried about a thing I was taking care of. My, my father was taking care of me. My, you know, When you, when you have a sense of one who you are, your confidence, it exudes, and that's what he saw. So keep that in mind, ladies, when you're thinking about preparing yourself, if you want to be, with someone, if you want to be married to someone of a certain type of person, I'm just saying, If you act a certain way. If you are in your. Masculine. I don't even know if I want to call it a masculine self, but if you don't exude a certain level of class, whether you come from that or not, you're not going to attract certain men. Now, granted, you might not want those men let's keep it real. But if you do, you have to, learn certain ways to be, and we can start with. Inner femininity inner understanding and confidence with oneself. Okay. I'll leave it at that. Okay, cool, bud. Uh, I think the moral of the story is that, you know, these were five things that jumped out at me. Um, and these were five things that jumped out at you. And so I think for people, you know, their list may be slightly different, but what we wanted to offer was maybe just some additional insight into some things that you can look for when you. Finding the one. And when you see it, grab it, go forward.