Joyfully Married After

What Does A Wife Want?

May 16, 2022 Heath and Tracy Season 4 Episode 83
Joyfully Married After
What Does A Wife Want?
Show Notes Transcript

Last week, Heath told you What A Man Wants! This week, Tracy is telling you What A Wife Wants!

Tracy breaks it down to 5 main points: 

  1. Talk To Me - I need conversation. Open your mouth. "Was the dinner good? Do I look good today?" Converse with your significant other; force yourself if you have to. 
  2. I Need Some Affection - What really does it for her. What are her love languages. Acts of Service are Tracy's (Gas in the car, Dishes done, Flowers) Show her the love.
  3. Be Open And Honest - No Trust, No Peace. Women don't want a liar, share what's going on.
  4. Understanding & Respect -  Getting to know her. She is doing a lot. Working, teaching, cooking, she’d tired. Make her bed, Spray lavender on pillow. Empathize, don’t criticize.
  5. Support - Your wife needs support both financially and emotionally. How are you contributing to the relationship? Give her a break sometimes; pick up the baby, change a diaper, pour her a bubble bath, take her to see her family.

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Talking about what a wife wants. This is the joyfully married after podcast episode 83. Uh, we get to get into what, the wives want this time to go down. Y'all y'all know what it is. We want a lot of things that we really don't want to let you know though. I'm gonna let y'all know what a wife, not what your girlfriend wants. What does a wife war. Hm. Heath knows. And I have more than three, more than three things. A white months. Yeah. Because, uh, when we did the episode with what a husband wants, cause like, you know, men are simple, right? I gave you my three and I was on, I was gone. Boom, boom, boom done you. And this might be a little bit longer, but you know this, all right, let's get into it. The first thing I need for you to do. Talk to me. You guys to have a conversation with a woman, and this is something that I say all the time, open your mouth over your mind. Right? Ben, the chicken was banging. I love that chicken. How you put that season on there and. Complimented so well with what you pair it with, baby. I'm just appreciative of that chicken dinner meal. You're very welcome. Do I look good? You look great. I am building this red lip in the show to action tonight. You hadn't talked to you. Let him know what's going on, let him know she looks good and let him know, you appreciate the meal. Let him know that you appreciate how she got the house smelling good with that stuff. She got going on, whatever it is, right. A woman needs some conversation. Right. But. Thank you. It was, it was actually a very easy today day, day, Mondays are easy bag. I got my training materials done. You know, I'm really happy about that. You are amazing. I'm so glad that things are going well for you at work. What else is happening? Yeah, it's just not something it's not hard. Y'all it's not hard. Ask a few questions. Be interested, like genuinely. We're not talking about talking to him while you're scrolling through your phone. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I didn't do that. I spent some time talking to you. Well, yeah, yeah. And you do a really good job of that. Thank you though. another thing I need, number two, affect shun that has infections. I need. And my affection showing thing is kind of funny. I like putting gas in my car. That's a big deal. That's a big deal for me. Got it. I love to see the little things I like to see my graph getting cut. I like to see the garbage being taken out of mine. I love, I they're just the acts of service thing. It's just the bomb queen. Tracy is all about the acts of service right now. You know, some, some ladies might be about the gifts. Some ladies might be about some other things, right? In terms of their love language, how you move, how things that they really appreciate. But at the end of the day, you have to show your woman some affection. So the, she is satisfied and find out what that is for her. It's not what it is for you. It's what it is for her and show her that you love her. Yeah. number three. Okay. Be open, open and honest and honest. Right? Because if you're not open and honest, I can't be in a place of peace. the lie thing, women don't like lying y'all yeah. It's just something that it goes along with security. Right. And when you lie, you might think you're making her feel better because she doesn't know the truth, but in all honesty, she can't trust you if you lie. And if she can't trust you, she's not feeling safe with you. So with me, I'd rather hear the bad news then. Yeah, I think, I think what's so important about what you're saying that baby is that, you know, every good relationship is built on a foundation of trust. Right? And I think that when you understand how integral that is to you being happy in your life and in your relationship, then you'll get it. And when you're, when you are not open and honest in your relationship, you have that constant. That you have with your, with your spouse around. I'm not sure. I believe what you're saying. Where are you going? What you doing? What are you, who you going with? Why you right. And then the guys, why are you? exactly right. So it's all tied together. And so I think that when you are transparent and open and honest with your woman, that's going to enable her to be at peace because she has that true. And she can be open with all of herself, And that's going to give you peace. If you're a woman is at peace to be at peace also. So the way you give her that peace is by being open and honest. you know, I want to double click one, uh, into one concept there that we haven't talked about is that there is also a certain peace that comes with marriage, right? And so I'm not saying that everyone who's married is absolutely a hundred percent trusting and trustworthy and all the things. But what I'm saying is sometimes in a relationship that can also be the. Right where you are maybe living with a person year after year, after year after year. You know, sometimes you might have children together, right? So you're building this life. You're sharing this life with this person, but you don't want to marry him. And so what happens is it erodes the trust? Why don't you want to marry me then? What what's the issue? So you need to be, uh, in a way that you can go over and play with somebody else and say, well, Right, which goes directly to Right, right. So, uh, at the end of the day, I think, this particular item be open, be honest to build that trust. Yeah. It's so key. Um, number four, I need you to understand and then respect me. There's that word kin, right? I need you to get to know me, get to know my interests. Um, if I'm a teacher, if I work, what is my job? Like? Um, figure out my, my little trigger points. If I'm tired, if something triggers me, you need to understand that you need to understand how I'm wired. You know, the, uh, it's interesting how this one ties back to number one, where you have to talk to you, right? How am I going to know anything about you? If I don't talk. If I don't ask you about some of these deep things, if I don't ask you about your something as simple as your favorite color or your favorite meal or what this experience was like when you were a child or you played softball, whatever it is, right? The point is that the, one of the easiest ways for me to know you and to know about you and to know what you like and to know what you dislike. Just talk to you, right? You're right, baby. You're right. And it's so important. It it's very, it's, it's something about giving a woman a sec. The security of this man is into me and my feelings into me and my deepest thoughts. And there's a security that goes along with that. And when you give a woman that much. Uh, have a secure feeling. You are opening up a flower. You are going to get. Everything. If everything is just surface all the time, you're going to get surface, whatever you give to us, we're going to give you something back. Yeah. It's not going to be an empty vessel. You're going to be enriched or torn town depending on what you give us. So keep that in mind what you're giving your woman and make sure it's something that is going to turn, turn it into something for you. That's positive. Number five was number five. Don't go ahead and say it, baby. Ooh. Okay. Brace yourselves. Y'all hold on, support financially? Yes. Yes. Emotionally also. the key word is support. You gotta be supportive. And support can mean so many different things, but it does mean financial. It does. Financial is germane to your relationship germane to security. You're a woman has to feel secure in order for her to be comfortable and to be open. And to be honest, to show affection, to be communicative, if you don't have, if you're not bringing insecurity to that relation. All of the other stuff is gonna fall by the way. And it's natural that way, guy. I don't care if she is a boss, babe. If whatever she's doing, she needs to have a feeling of security that you can also provide, because guess what women have babies, women get pregnant, right. And we are straight up out of commission. Four months, four months. Yep. That's scary these days. That's scary. Yeah. And if, I don't know if you're going to be able to keep the lights on, keep the heat on, keep a roof over our head, provide for me and my child. We're going to have some problems. Yeah. It's that simple. I think it's so important to click into what you talked about. Engaging with a boss, babe. Right. And so there are, there are some women who are very entrepreneurial or who are very career driven, who are doing things right. And so just because they're strong and they're executing at a high level in their lives and their careers doesn't mean that they're not women. And it doesn't mean that, okay, Hey, she's making a good amount of money in that kind of thing, but are you supporting her. If she needs you to execute on some, Hey, can you pick up the baby today and make sure the diapers? And like, I left the dinner of stuff in her fridge, if you could just like stir fried or whatever it is and do the thing. And that way, when I get home, I can just kind of unwind. That would just be so great. If you could help me with that baby. If you are not providing that type of support. Then she's like, what, what are we doing? Right, right now, conversely, if you're the one who's, who's bringing the bacon home and you're the provider and that kind of thing that are you leading with empathy, are you making her feel safe? Right. So not only is she feeling financially supported, but is she also being emotionally supportive? Right. So just because you're supporting. The household financially doesn't mean you can just be a butthole every day. That is such a good point. Cause a lot of men seem to think that, well, I'm just going to say some men seem to think that, uh, well I paid for everything so I can do whatever I want. And that's not going to be good for your relationship because it's not true. It's just not true. And like he said, I think I like what you said, Lee with empathy. You know, if you were such a big, bad and provider and you worried about how clean the house is, get a mate. If you've got three kids running around, you need a mate, she doesn't need to take care of the kids work. And. Cleaning the house. Yeah. You know, if you think, you know, she doesn't cook the way you needed to cook every night, but you want a home cooked meal, get a cook. I'm just going to keep it real. If you don't think she is doing what you need her to do. And she's trying, and she has too much to do help recognize it. Say, I see you need some help. Do we need somebody coming here a couple of times a week? Do you need a nanny? Do you need. y'all need to check the prices on this stuff. It's not as expensive as you think it is. you got out, you can always trim or make some investments to create income, to do something else. You know, I think another point that I wanted to make sure that we touched on here was connected to counseling one another supporting one another, right? Like how can I be a better wife? I think husbands can help wives with that. How can I be a better daughter to my parents? Like, what are the things that I need support on baby? And something is happening with the parents I need, you know, can you take me down there? You know, uh, these are your parents. You need to do X, Y, Z 1, 2, 3. They took care of you, nothing wrong with you returning. Those kinds of favors to them in this part of their lives, whatever it is. Right. And so that's another, another example of support. And I just think that you want to make sure that regardless of what it is, financial emotional, you have to make sure that you're dialed in with your woman. What a wife wants. You need. You need to give me some affection, right? Acts of service, gifts, physical touch, whatever it is, you need to be open and honest. You need to, understand who I am as a person and respect me about those things. And then last but not least, you need to support me financially and emotionally. And if you do these things, you're going to have what your wife was.