Joyfully Married After

Variety, No Sex Marriage and Husband's Needs

April 08, 2019 Heath and Tracy Season 2 Episode 48
Joyfully Married After
Variety, No Sex Marriage and Husband's Needs
Chapters
Joyfully Married After
Variety, No Sex Marriage and Husband's Needs
Apr 08, 2019 Season 2 Episode 48
Heath and Tracy

Variety may be the spice for Passionate Life

Injecting variety and surprise into even the most stable, seasoned relationship is a good hedge against such temptation.

In a classic experiment by Arthur Aron and his colleagues, researchers gave upper-middle-class middle-aged couples a list of activities that both partners agreed were “pleasant” (such as creative cooking, visiting friends, or seeing a movie) or “exciting” (skiing, dancing, or attending concerts) but that they had enjoyed only infrequently. Researchers instructed each couple to select one of these activities each week and spend 90 minutes doing it together. At the end of 10 weeks, the couples who engaged in the “exciting” activities reported greater satisfaction in their marriage than those who tried “pleasant” or enjoyable activities together.

Surprise is apparently more satisfying than stability.

The realization that your marriage no longer supplies the charge it formerly did is then an invitation: Eschew predictability in favor of discovery, novelty, and opportunities for unpredictable pleasure. “A relationship,” Woody Allen proclaimed in his film Annie Hall, “is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.” A marriage is likely to change shape multiple times over its lifetime; it must be continually rebuilt if it is to thrive.

Top of Mind for US

What’s the point of getting married?

“The point of marriage is not happiness. The point of marriage is growth.”

The growth that forces you to confront your weaknesses, insecurities, and fears is exactly what leads to the periods of happiness, trust, connection, passion, and commitment only a small handful of persistent and dedicated couples ever get to experience.

 

  • Growth - Something that makes you better. If you don't grow, you don't feel alive.

 

Question of the week

My wife of 14 years doesn’t want to have sex with me. When ever I bring it up we get into an argument and she yells..It’s not her problem. It’s my problem. I feel like she has some leftover resentment from things in the past. What can I do?

 

Dopest Couple in the World

Harry and Meghan - The Duke and Duchess of Sussex

 

Doing it Well

Ladies what does your husband want from you in the bed?

Smile

Be enthusiastic

Be playful

Get completely naked

Touch him down there

Try something new every now and then

Show Notes

Variety may be the spice for Passionate Life

Injecting variety and surprise into even the most stable, seasoned relationship is a good hedge against such temptation.

In a classic experiment by Arthur Aron and his colleagues, researchers gave upper-middle-class middle-aged couples a list of activities that both partners agreed were “pleasant” (such as creative cooking, visiting friends, or seeing a movie) or “exciting” (skiing, dancing, or attending concerts) but that they had enjoyed only infrequently. Researchers instructed each couple to select one of these activities each week and spend 90 minutes doing it together. At the end of 10 weeks, the couples who engaged in the “exciting” activities reported greater satisfaction in their marriage than those who tried “pleasant” or enjoyable activities together.

Surprise is apparently more satisfying than stability.

The realization that your marriage no longer supplies the charge it formerly did is then an invitation: Eschew predictability in favor of discovery, novelty, and opportunities for unpredictable pleasure. “A relationship,” Woody Allen proclaimed in his film Annie Hall, “is like a shark. It has to constantly move forward or it dies.” A marriage is likely to change shape multiple times over its lifetime; it must be continually rebuilt if it is to thrive.

Top of Mind for US

What’s the point of getting married?

“The point of marriage is not happiness. The point of marriage is growth.”

The growth that forces you to confront your weaknesses, insecurities, and fears is exactly what leads to the periods of happiness, trust, connection, passion, and commitment only a small handful of persistent and dedicated couples ever get to experience.

 

  • Growth - Something that makes you better. If you don't grow, you don't feel alive.

 

Question of the week

My wife of 14 years doesn’t want to have sex with me. When ever I bring it up we get into an argument and she yells..It’s not her problem. It’s my problem. I feel like she has some leftover resentment from things in the past. What can I do?

 

Dopest Couple in the World

Harry and Meghan - The Duke and Duchess of Sussex

 

Doing it Well

Ladies what does your husband want from you in the bed?

Smile

Be enthusiastic

Be playful

Get completely naked

Touch him down there

Try something new every now and then