Joyfully Married After

Why 50 50 Relationships Don't Work.

April 02, 2021 Heath and Tracy Episode 62
Joyfully Married After
Why 50 50 Relationships Don't Work.
Chapters
Joyfully Married After
Why 50 50 Relationships Don't Work.
Apr 02, 2021 Episode 62
Heath and Tracy

Marriage isn’t a fifty-fifty proposition. Conducting your relationship as a business deal will get you in a lot of trouble. Since we live in a competitive culture, we see things thru a capitalist lens, prompting us toward seeing things as quid pro quo or tit for tat rather than giving more freely and less conditionally. 

Instead of real giving of yourself, you see relationships as an investment, expecting a return,  and if you don’t get a return you feel resentment.

What you need to agree on: 

  • Finances: Who is going to earn? Both? How much do we need? What is she makes more? What if he makes more? Who is responsible for paying the bills? 
  • Children: Main Care giver, Main teacher, Main disciplinarian. Also decide What are we going to share at each phase. Baby, who wakes up, changing, feeding. Toddler, teaching, discipline Teen, Discipline, instruction. 
  • Should be a team effort. Who is better at what?

When the flow of giving stops, both people suffer and the relationship suffers. The climate of the relationship deteriorates, and a downward spiral can spin out of control.

Ask yourself is your relationship person or is it transactional?

Figure out each other’s Love Languages.  

Our greatest joy begins to come not from getting what we want, but from seeing the delight in our partner’s eyes when they receive our offerings. 

 It is more important to meet His needs and Her Needs than to focus on splitting finances.

Focus on giving 100/100 to the RELATIONSHIP to maintain the connection and intimacy.


Show Notes

Marriage isn’t a fifty-fifty proposition. Conducting your relationship as a business deal will get you in a lot of trouble. Since we live in a competitive culture, we see things thru a capitalist lens, prompting us toward seeing things as quid pro quo or tit for tat rather than giving more freely and less conditionally. 

Instead of real giving of yourself, you see relationships as an investment, expecting a return,  and if you don’t get a return you feel resentment.

What you need to agree on: 

  • Finances: Who is going to earn? Both? How much do we need? What is she makes more? What if he makes more? Who is responsible for paying the bills? 
  • Children: Main Care giver, Main teacher, Main disciplinarian. Also decide What are we going to share at each phase. Baby, who wakes up, changing, feeding. Toddler, teaching, discipline Teen, Discipline, instruction. 
  • Should be a team effort. Who is better at what?

When the flow of giving stops, both people suffer and the relationship suffers. The climate of the relationship deteriorates, and a downward spiral can spin out of control.

Ask yourself is your relationship person or is it transactional?

Figure out each other’s Love Languages.  

Our greatest joy begins to come not from getting what we want, but from seeing the delight in our partner’s eyes when they receive our offerings. 

 It is more important to meet His needs and Her Needs than to focus on splitting finances.

Focus on giving 100/100 to the RELATIONSHIP to maintain the connection and intimacy.