321. Beyond Strategy: Why Leadership Is A Human Challenge with Mick Spiers

The hardest leadership problems rarely announce themselves as “leadership problems.” They show up as weight you carry in silence, conversations you keep postponing, success that still feels empty, and a loud inner voice that says you’re not ready.

I step back and connect the biggest lessons from this month of The Leadership Project into one practical thread: leadership is human before it is tactical. We talk about the pressure that builds quietly over time and how strength is not carrying everything but knowing when to share the load. We dig into the “last 8%” moments where culture is truly made the hard conversations you avoid, the feedback you soften, the expectations you leave unclear and how balancing courage with connection builds trust, psychological safety, and real performance.

Then we go deeper: what are you really chasing? If your happiness depends on outcomes you can’t control, you’ll always feel behind. I share a simple shift from outcomes to meaning, from control to contribution, plus a short daily prompt you can use immediately. We finish with the story you tell yourself: doubt and imposter syndrome may not disappear, but you can reframe them, find evidence, and rewrite the narrative that shapes the leader you become.

If this sparks something, pick one action and do it today. Subscribe, share the episode with one person who needs it, and leave a review so more leaders can find this work.

Transcript

Mick Spiers: 0:01

What if the biggest challenges you face as a leader aren't actually about strategy, capability or execution? What if they're human? What if they're about pressure, identity, relationships, meaning, and the stories you tell yourself? Today's episode is a solo cast where I reflect on the conversations we've had this month on The Leadership Project. And that's the thread that connects them all. This month wasn't about tactics, it wasn't about frameworks. It was about what it feels like to lead and what it means to lead, and more importantly, what it takes to lead better. So let me take you through the journey, and more importantly, what you can do with it. Hey everyone, and welcome back to The Leadership Project. Today is a solo cast where we reflect on the great guests that we had throughout April. We'll be talking about the interview with Hank Minor, the weight you're carrying, the great conversation with Bill Benjamin about the last 8% and the culture you're creating, and Anthony Silard, asked us to stop and think about what we're really chasing. And finally, we had Marc A. Pitman talking to us about the story that we tell ourselves about ourselves in our own mind, and the power of reframing that story. So let's unpack them one by one, and think about the key takeaways and the actions that we can put in place. Let's start with Hank, the weight you're carrying. We started this month talking about the weight of leadership, the pressure that builds quietly over time, responsibility, expectation, emotional load, and the dangerous belief that as a leader, you always need to be the strong one. But here's the insight that matters, leadership becomes dangerous when the role consumes the person. So what do we do with that? Well, here's your first action. Take five minutes today and do a personal audit. Ask yourself,"What am I carrying right now that I don't need to carry alone? Where am I holding things in instead of sharing them? Who is one person I trust that I can open up to and then act on it?" Because strength in leadership is not about carrying everything. It's about knowing when to share the load. Next we had Bill Benjamin talking to us about the last 8% culture, and the culture you're creating. I'm going to be open here. I shouldn't play favorites, but Bill Benjamin's work has had a deep impact on me. He's been on the show twice now, and I've been implementing in my personal life and in my work life. The lessons I learned from Bill about what happens when we avoid the conversations that we need to have. Connecting the two together, from Hank Minor through to Bill Benjamin, it's about how we handle that pressure, because it doesn't just affect you. It shapes your culture. And Bill Benjamin gave us a simple but powerful lens. Bill introduced us to two dimensions, courage and connection. High performing cultures are not built on one or the other. They require both. And here's where it gets real. Most leaders default to just one side. They either avoid hard conversations to protect relationships, or they push for results and damage trust along the way. But the answer is you need both. You need to have that connection. You need to have that ability to make people feel seen, heard and valued, and that they trust you and that they feel like that you've got their back. But then, at the same time, you can't afford to avoid the conversations that you need to have. High Performance lies at the bottom of those last 8% conversations, the ones that you've been avoiding. So yes, you need to have that connection. You need to have those relationships, because if you just push for results, results, results, you're going to damage those relationships. You'll achieve short term results, but then, in the long term, things will fracture. So you need to have those connections. You need to have, that know like and trust feeling amongst your team. But you need to stop avoiding conversations that need to be had. You need to challenge each other directly, but care personally. So here's your second action. Think about one conversation you've been avoiding. You already know the one. Be honest with yourself, and then ask yourself, "What would courage look like in this moment? What would connection look like in this moment?" How could you combine them both? How could you have the courage to have that conversation you've been avoiding. But doing it a way that, strengthens the connection, strengthens the relationship, strengthens the connection between the two of you, say the hard thing, but say it with care. Because culture is not what you say it is. It's what people experience, especially in those moments that matter. Your culture is built in all of those micro moments. So stop avoiding lean in, have the conversations you need to have, but have them with care. Then we went deeper with Anthony Silard, and we thought about, well, what are you really chasing? Because even if you get the culture right, there's still a bigger question, because so many leaders are chasing outcomes, success, recognition, but those things sit outside of your control. And when you build your happiness on things you can't control, you create a constant gap between where you are and where you think you need to be. Things will never be enough. They'll never be enough, and you'll just keep on chasing and chasing and chasing. So here's the shift Anthony Silard challenged us to make. Move from outcomes to meaning, from control to contribution. So here's your third action for today. At the end of today, reflect on this. Did I focus more on what I could get or what I could give? And tomorrow, flip it, but be intentional about it. Be intentional about one person you will truly listen to, one moment where you will give, genuine care and show it. And one action that contributes to something bigger than yourself, because leadership is not just about performance, it's about meaning, and meaning is built through relationships. And finally, we had Marc A. Pitman, who talked to us about the story you're telling yourself every single day. We brought it back to you, to your doubt to your imposter syndrome. You know you have it to that voice in your head that questions whether you're really ready or really good enough. And here's the truth, the voice doesn't go away, but it can change meaning, because doubt is not always a signal to stop. Sometimes it's a signal to pay attention. It's drawing your attention to something. It's telling you, "Hey, this is important". So here's your fourth action. Next time doubt shows up and it will, don't push it away. Get curious. Ask yourself, "What is this trying to tell me? Is this fear or is this growth? Do I need to step back or do I need to step forward and, most importantly, challenge the story?" Because if your story is"I'm not ready". Start looking for evidence that you are. Because the story you tell yourself shapes the leader you become. And you hold the pen, you get to choose how you write that story, that story that you tell yourself about yourself in your own mind, is extremely powerful. And it's up to you how you shape that story. So let's bring that all together. Let's step back and look at the full picture, the weight you carry, the culture you create, the meaning you pursue, and the story you tell yourself. These are not separate challenges. they are deeply connected, and they all point to one truth. The biggest challenges in leadership are not tactical, they're human. So if you want to lead better, don't just ask, what skills do I need? Ask what do I need to understand about myself. What do the people around me need from me? Where do I need to grow as a human being? So here's my challenge to you, don't try to do everything. Pick one, just one. One burden to share, one conversation to have, one shift in focus towards meaning, or one story to rewrite, and take that action today start somewhere, and you can build the rest as you go. Because leadership doesn't change through intention, it changes through action. You need to take action. If you want to go a step further, start building in a practice of Self Reflection. I've been doing this for almost 14 years now. I ask myself the same five questions at the end of every day. "Wwhat went well today? What didn't go well? What would I do differently if I had my time over again? What did I learn about myself? And what did I learn about others?" Because if you're paying attention and you're making little micro changes all the time, that's where you'll grow. That's where you'll become a leader that other people want to follow, a learning leader, a leader that's leaning in and getting better at their craft, every single day. Now, final message from us at The Leadership Project, before we close out today, is that, this week is the Fifth Anniversary of The Leadership Project Podcast. That's five years of powerful, impactful conversations from thought leaders around the world, getting us to stop and reflect and rethink what it means to be a leader. Five years of people sharing their time, their gift and their wisdom with us, so that we can create a body of work that unpacks what it means. What does this mean to be a leader? Where have we gone wrong in leadership in the past, and what do we need to do differently going forward? So I want to say a huge thanks to all of our guests that have come on the show to share all of their insights with us, actionable insights of things that we can do as leaders. It's changed my life. It's changed me as a leader. I feel absolutely blessed, that I get to sit in front of these leaders from all around the world, thought leaders in psychology, in leadership, in relationships, and I get to ask them any question that I like, and I feel like I've grown incredibly in that time. So it's been like my own personal growth story as we've gone, and I've had the the ability to then, and the blessing to be able to then share it with all of you. Secondly, I want to thank my incredible team. And there's been lots of people involved in this journey throughout not all of them are still with us today, but they'll, they'll never be forgotten. So going to, going to say a huge thanks to Rica Vidanes, to Faris Sedek, to Joan Gozon, and to the amazing Gerald Calibo, who does all of the editing of each and every episode, and the person that I couldn't do any of this without, which is my wife, Sei Spiers. She's my my rock, my everything. She gives me the strength to get up and, and keep going each day when, when life gives you challenges, she's the inspiration that keeps me going, but she's also the Operational Manager behind everything that you see, so she works hard, and she's also the person that I rely on most in this world. So thank you so much. I love you, and thank you for all of your support throughout this five years, and we look forward to many more to come. Now, if this episode made you think, if it challenged you, that gave you something to work on, then don't just keep it to yourself. Share it with someone, who you think might need to hear this, because leadership is not a solo journey, and the more we talk about the human side of leadership, the better leaders we all become so until next time, lead better and we'll be back with more impactful guests, next week. You've been listening to The Leadership Project. If today sparked an insight, don't keep it to yourself. Share it with one other person who would benefit from listening to the show. A huge thank you to Gerald Calibo for his tireless work editing every episode, and to my amazing wife Sei, who does all the heavy lifting in the background to make this show possible. None of this happens without them. Around here we believe leadership is a practice, not a position, that people should feel seen, heard, valued, and that they matter, that the best leaders trade ego for empathy, certainty for curiosity and control for trust. If that resonates with you, please subscribe on YouTube and on your favorite podcast app, and if you want more, follow me on LinkedIn and explore our archives for conversations that move you from knowing to doing. Until next time, lead with curiosity courage and care.