DEPRESSED 2 SUCCESS

S2 E31 - No More Crossing My Boundaries

Tao Life Coach Season 2 Episode 31

Hey everybody and welcome to another episode of  Depressed 2 succesS where we share real stories and emotions about our lives. And on this episode I really felt the need to vent to be honest and talk about my own personal life, or rather work life which has been tremendously stressful the last year with all the clients and employers I tried to help the best I could but I end up paying the price. I don’t want to admit it, but I was burned out and maybe still am a bit to be honest. But one thing that has helped me a lot is journaling and reflecting on my triggers and writing it all down really helps me to reveal patterns. And becoming aware of these patterns is a very important first step to breaking those patterns and rewriting and recreating better more helpful patterns. So now I want to share a part I just wrote down. I am curious if you can relate and if you have tips than can help anyone in a similar situation.
So here it is:

I am so sick and tired of trying to please everyone
Trying to do my best for everyone
Trying to not hurt anyone’s feelings
Trying to help everyone
Just to learn that it is never good enough for anyone.

When you keep putting others first you put your self second to last.
And that wont last forever. Because everybody has their breaking point.
When it is not hurting enough, you will continue to suffer.
When you go through the pain you will grow and you will change.
Easier said than done, but it needs to be said that it needs to be done.

And the only one who can do this for you is you. You need to set your boundaries and protect them with you life! Because if you don’t do that, people will keep crossing those boundaries and they try to take over your life if you let them. Make you work and do things for them that pleases them. They may not even be doing this consciously, but that is not an excuse to be an insensitive you know what. 

The people I talk about do not truly care about your wellbeing or that of anybody else than their own. And being a good person can sometimes look like being a people pleaser. But being a people pleaser is not necessarily the same thing as being a good person. Because a  truly good person in my book does not mean being a person who pleases people and follows orders without checking with their heart if it feels good. 

A truly good person  in my book means being a person who has a good heart, lives with positive intention and has healthy boundaries for themself and respect themself and love themself enough to protect those boundaries. And by doing so people who truly love you and sincerely care for you will honour your action of setting and protecting your boundaries. They would not want to go beyond them out of mutual respect. People who do cross your boundaries do NOT belong in your life. Enough said.

So my wish for everyone who can relate in some sort of way is that you set yourself free of these type of people. Find a way to shield yourself from them. Protect yourself and protect your boundaries. If you don’t know how you can ask me right here and we can get a discussion going and help each other. 
I do want to mention that luckily there are also a lot of people who are different and who are more appreciative of your time and energy. And naturally when you close yourself of to people who are not worth your time and energy you automatically free up time and energy for people who are worth of it. And even then it remains important to be aware of your own needs and feelings and keep setting boundaries.

This was just a short personal update regarding my personal / work life, without diving to deep in the details. Not sure if I am going to make this a regular thing, if you like it you can let me know and if not you don’t have to. And if you want to share your tips in the comments I am sure they will be of use to someone watching and reading it.
Thanks a lot.