Dispatch Ajax! Podcast
A Geek Culture Podcast - Two life-long Geeks explain, critique and poke fun at the major pillars of Geek Culture for your listening pleasure.
Dispatch Ajax! Podcast
The Antônio Vias Boas Abduction
Join us as we recount the strange and captivating story of Antônio Vias Boas. His strange case predated many of the iconic abduction narratives we know today, including the well-known experiences of Betty and Barney Hill and Travis Walton. But it's Boas's bewildering rendezvous with an egg-shaped craft and enigmatic beings that truly sets his tale apart, yet also sets the stage for UFO encounters for decades to come.
An educational video hosted by Charlie Sheen revealing is there life on Mars?
Speaker 2:Just. And then they just ask David Bowie.
Speaker 1:Yes, gentlemen, let's broaden our minds.
Speaker 2:Are they in the proper approach pattern for today? Negative.
Speaker 1:Hold the weapon Now. All right, skip, I heard you want to hear about Demdare aliens, is that?
Speaker 2:right, that is true. I would like to know who's probing me anally. This is something that I've been wrestling with.
Speaker 1:Look in the mirror.
Speaker 2:Oh man, if I do this to myself in my sleep, there's a serious problem.
Speaker 1:Or a serious solution. No, the dog star is serious. That's what I meant by that.
Speaker 2:I was thinking more of like that James Wan movie. Oh, malevolent, malevolent, yeah, but instead of a face in the back of your head. It's it's just cramming shit up her ass the whole time.
Speaker 1:You know what? I'd watch that. So we are still continuing our look into the skies and into the ether for more interesting stories of what is out there and perhaps coming into here. Skip the history, quote-unquote, of alien abduction is varied and colorful and could theoretically go back hundreds of years. But that conversation about the similarities between fairies, old hags, trickster entities, hypnagogia, sleep, paralysis and incubus, succubus encounters, that is for a different day and a different pod.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. Last time we did talk about how the Nuremberg UFO sighting was a thing, and that was what 500 years ago? Mm-hmm yeah, but not in the other old wives' tale folklore stuff but straight up UFOs fighting each other in the sky.
Speaker 1:Or maybe they're Vimanas.
Speaker 2:They weren't sun dogs. I'll tell you that right now.
Speaker 1:In our modern view the layman might point to in your mind, what do you think of as like the first alien encounters or alien abductions, particular, what kind of jumps to mind?
Speaker 2:The Benny and Barney Hill cases are probably the most famous, the most immediate, that are well documented. That was September 19th 1961.
Speaker 1:I think other ones that kind of come to people's mind are Travis Walton, those 1975, or even Whitley Stryver's Communion that came out in 1987 for stories that happened obviously before that, but none of these are considered the earliest modern abduction, With many of the are considered the earliest modern abduction with many of the hallmarks of the abduction phenomenon years before such accounts were recounted, let alone popularized, in culture. Now, this is the story of a Brazilian farmer who reported an abduction back in October 15th 1957. This is the story of Antônio Vias Boas.
Speaker 2:Very cool. Brazilians have their own UFO history. They deal with a lot of unidentified submerged objects as well as UFO encounters. They are rich with history of UFOs.
Speaker 1:So before he was abducted, just to lay out a little bit of the scene, this was a young 23-year-old man. He was living on his family's farm and he and his brother they would work at night, try and beat the heat, so they would try to do their yard work during the evening. And on October 5th was the first weirdness that happened in 1957. Boersch said that he spotted a bright light in the sky as he opened his window for some air. After sleeping, he woke up with the same light moving towards him. As he looked at it, boish was scared and showed his brother, who looked in awe as the bright light danced through the shutters, for leaving on their farm. Now, like I said, this is, you know, about 9-10 days before the actual abduction happened, which is what we will get into now.
Speaker 1:Boish was working. At 10 pm His brother and he were tilling out in the fields and they saw a bright light 300 feet above their heads. They said he left his brother to check it out and when he got close it zoomed back and forth and as soon as he got close, no less than 20 times, he gave up eventually, you know, trying to get close to this weird light and it disappeared. The next night Boers was working alone and then a reddish light came right up on top of him so quickly that it was on top of me before I could make up my mind what to do. The light was intense, so intense that he couldn't see his own tractor lights in the dead of night. The craft was a large, elong, elongated, egg-shaped with three legs that extended beneath it. Now Borch said that he was on his tractor and tried to get away on his tractor from this craft, but then the lights died. The engine just died. It wouldn't go.
Speaker 2:The tractor died.
Speaker 1:You get a lot of reports of automotives. You know when craft come. You know it kills all electronics.
Speaker 2:That's an internal combustion engine, so that's.
Speaker 1:Hey man, they don't work with our physics man.
Speaker 2:Okay, alright, I don't know I can't explain it.
Speaker 1:So the craft then kind of settled down and began to land. Like I said, bowers ran to his tractor in terror. When he reached it, the tractor and the lights died. So he reached it, the tractor and the lights died. So he tried making his escape to the other side and running towards a house when his arm was grabbed by what he said was a small figure he said it only reached about his shoulder height In strange clothes, which he violently shoved away. Three more small figures surrounded him and lifted him off the ground by the arms and lifted him off the ground by the arms. Now, boers described these as typical greys that are kind of common in other abductions. They had grey suits with large, rounded eyeglasses, three silvery tubes protruding out over their heads, small figures about one and a half meters tall, with shoes, and they said they communicated with strange sounds not producible by humans, kind of like animal grunts. So I kind of think of, maybe like tin the tool man, taylor aliens not producible by humans.
Speaker 1:Sure, yes, no human could do that yeah, yeah, they had very tight fitting siren suits made of soft, thick, uneven, unevenly striped gray material. The garment reached right up to their necks where it was joined to a kind of helmet made out of gray material that looked stiffer and was strengthened back at the nose level. Their helmets hide everything except their eyes, which were protected by two round glasses like lenses in ordinary glasses. Through them, the men looked at me and their eyes seemed to be much smaller than ours, though I believe that maybe they affected the lenses. All of them had light-colored eyes that looked blue to me, but this I cannot vouch for. Above their eyes, those helmets looked so tall that they corresponded to what the double of size of a normal man's head should be.
Speaker 1:Probably there was something else hidden under those helmets, placed on top of their heads, but nothing could be seen from the outside. Right on top, from the middle of their head, there sprouted three round silvery metal tubes I can't tell whether they were made of metal or rubber which were a little narrower than a common garden hose. The tubes which were placed, one in the middle and one on each side of the head were smooth and bent backward and downward toward the back. There they fitted into their clothes how I cannot say, but one went down their center where the backbone is, and the other two on each side fitted under the shoulders about four inches from their armpits, nearly at their sides where the back begins. I didn't notice anything at all, no hump or lump to show where the tubes attached, nor any box or contrivance hidden under their clothes.
Speaker 2:That just sounds like a tiny bane. I want you to come with me. No, the comic book version with the venom and everything, oh, why can't it be this bane from space?
Speaker 1:Their sleeves were narrow and tight-fitted to the wrists, where they followed by thick five-fingered gloves of the same color that must have somewhat hindered their movements. As to this, I noticed that the men weren't able to double their fingers all together so as to touch the palms of their hands with the tips of their fingers. The difficulty did not prevent them from catching and holding me firmly, nor from deftly manipulating the rubber tubes for extracting my blood. Those overalls must have been a kind of uniform for all. The members of the crew wore a red badge the size of a pineapple slice on their chest. Sometimes it reflected a shiny light, not a light of its own, but a reflection such as those given by the rear lights of a car when another car lights it up from behind. From the center badge there came a strip of silvery metal or it might have been flattened metal which joined onto a broad, tight-fitting collapses belt, the color of which I can't remember. He remembers so much else, but he can't remember that.
Speaker 2:Yeah, it's so specific.
Speaker 1:No pocket could be seen anywhere. You know, I don't know where they're going to put their pokes and prodder instruments, and I don't remember seeing any buttons either. The trousers were also tight-fitting over the buttocks. Yes, they were Thighs and legs, as there was not a wrinkle or crease to be seen. There was no visible hem between the trousers and shoes, which were actually a continuation of the former, being part of the self-same garment. The soles of the shoes, which were different from ours. They were thick about two or three inches and a little turned up or arched up in front, so that the tips looked like those describing in fairy tales of old, though the general appearance is that of a common tennis shoe, okay.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm getting some Sandown Clown vibes here.
Speaker 1:Well, just wait, oh boy. From what I saw later, they must have fitted loosely, for they were larger than the feet they covered. In spite of this, the men's gait was free and easy and their movements were swift indeed. Perhaps the closed siren suit they wore did interfere slightly with their movements, because they kept walking very stiffly. Like I said, they're all about one and one and a half to 1.6 meters tall in shoes, mind you, perhaps a little shorter because of those helmets, except for one of them, the one who had caught hold of me out there. This one did not even reach my chin. All seemed strong, but not so strong that, had I fought with one of them at any time, I should have been afraid of losing. I believe that in a free-for-all fight I could face any single one of them on an equal base. Yeah, it's alien fight club. That's what he's dreaming of Hell yeah.
Speaker 1:All right Enough with the uniforms, it's quite a bit.
Speaker 2:Let's throw down.
Speaker 1:At this point. While resisting as best he could, boash found himself being pulled up a flexible metallic rolling ladder into a hatchway, which closed behind them so leniently that no scene was visible to the naked eye. Then he found himself in a small square room. It had no furnishings but was brightly lit he said kind of the same light as broad daylight Recessed square lights in smooth metallic walls. Suddenly, an opening appeared from the seamless wall and Boish was led into another room. There, the only furnishings that were visible was an oddly shaped table that stood at one side of the room, surrounded by several backless swivel chairs, something like bar stools. They were all made of the same white material. The table, as well as the stools, were one-legged, narrowing toward the floor, where they were either fixed, such as the table to it, or linked to a movable ring held fast by three hinges, jetting out of each side, and riveted to the floor, such as the stools, so that the sitting on them could turn in every direction.
Speaker 1:His abductors then grabbed and held him in place, while communicating in sounds that again had no resemblance whatever to human speech. I can think of no attempt to describe those sounds. So distinctly Different were they from anything I've ever heard before. Those sounds still make me shiver when I think of them. It isn't even possible for me to reproduce them. My vocal organs are not made for it. Again, he compares the sounds to animal grunts, some longer, others shorter, sometimes containing several different sounds at the same time, at other times ending in a tremor. These creatures then began undressing him, despite his constant opposition to this.
Speaker 2:Oh, I'm sure he fought real hard.
Speaker 1:They obviously couldn't understand me, but they stopped and stared at me as if they were trying to make me understand that they were being polite. Besides, though, they had to employ force, they never at any time hurt me badly, and they did not even tear my clothes, with the exception of my shirt, perhaps Stripped naked naked. They then rubbed all over his body a clear, odorless liquid, and then he was prompted into another room with red inscriptions over the door.
Speaker 2:He said they were like scribbles, of a kind entirely unknown to us so they they rubbed him down with lube and sent him into a room with a big light saying come fuck this dude. That's essentially what's happening right now right Hot alien action.
Speaker 1:This way is what the sign said.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Soon, two of the figures joined him carrying apparatuses, which they took some blood from his chin, leaving a small scars that were later noticed by the doctors at the hospital. That caused him no pain and only minimal discomfort. But this is where the room gets good.
Speaker 2:Oh, the movie the Room. You're my favorite customer.
Speaker 1:So Antonio then says he was left alone for about an hour and made himself comfortable on a large, featureless foam, rubber-like gray bed or couch in the middle of the room. It had no legs, he said.
Speaker 2:Somebody took it to a swingers club. Jesus fucking Christ.
Speaker 1:From holes in the wall. From about the height of his head came. From glory holes about the size of his head came this gray smoke that was piped in and quickly dissolved Cock smoke.
Speaker 2:Is that what you're saying?
Speaker 1:Oh, this place is full of it, bowers said. At first he felt kind of nauseous from the smoke, and then he began feeling suffocated. He rushed to one corner of the room and vomited, and after that his breathing became a little easier. A little while later a door opened and in walked a naked alien woman. Some have thought that the liquid or even the smoke might have been some type of aphrodisiac, or maybe that the smoke allowed the alien woman to breathe without her helmet. We really don't know. She came in slowly, unheardly, perhaps a little amused at the amazement she saw was written on my face. I stared open mouth.
Speaker 1:She was beautiful, though of a different type of beauty compared with the women I have known. Her hair was blonde, nearly white, almost like dyed hair with peroxide. It was smooth, not very thick, with a part in the center, and she had big, big blue eyes, rather longer than round, for they slanted outward like those pencil-drawn girls made to look like Arabian princesses that look as if they were slit, except that they were natural. There was no makeup. Her nose was straight, not pointed, not turned up, nor too big.
Speaker 1:The contour of her face was different, though, because she had very high, prominent cheekbones, they made her face narrow to a peak so that all of a sudden it ended with a pointed chin. Her lips were very thin, nearly invisible in fact. Her ears, which I only saw later, were small and did not seem different from ordinary ears. Her high cheekbones gave one impression that there was a broken bone somewhere underneath, but as I discovered later, they were soft and fleshy to the touch, so they did not seem to be made of bone. Her body was much more beautiful than any I had ever seen before. It was slim and her breasts stood up high and well separated. Her waistline was thin, her belly flat, her hips well developed, perhaps even childbearing, and her thighs were large.
Speaker 2:Her feet were small. Her, her thighs were large, her feet were small.
Speaker 1:Her hands, long and narrow, her fingers and nails were normal. She was much shorter than I am. Her head only reached my shoulder. Her skin was white, that of a fair woman here, and she was full of freckles on her arms. I didn't notice any perfume, except for maybe a natural female odor. And another thing I noticed was her hair and her armpits was bright red, near the color of blood, as was her hair down there.
Speaker 2:Okay, well, you're in my wheelhouse now.
Speaker 1:He says that the woman came toward him in silence, looking at me all the while, as if she wanted something from me, Pressing herself to him. He understood what her purpose was. I began to get excited.
Speaker 2:Oh boy.
Speaker 1:I ended up forgetting everything and held the woman close to me, corresponding to her favors with greater ones of my own. That's right. They laid down on the couch bed thing and had sexual intercourse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you are squirming a lot, jake, I'll just put that out.
Speaker 1:They performed a variety of acts together for about an hour.
Speaker 2:Wow, the stamina. It's Anna Taylor Joy, by the way.
Speaker 1:After the two had had their sexual encounter, she pulled away. All they wanted was a good stallion to improve their stock. He thought. He said he enjoyed the encounter and even though the woman refused to kiss him. Apparently, instead of kissing she would go to his chin and bite at it and nibble at it, while making sounds that, in both's mind, sounded like animal growls.
Speaker 2:Yeah, did he fuck a dog? He might have fucked a dog.
Speaker 1:She never spoke. When they were finished, one of the creatures entered and called out to the woman. Come here girl Come here girl.
Speaker 1:But before leaving she looked back at him. She pointed to her belly and smilingly then pointed to the sky. Then she went away. I interpreted the sign as meaning to say that she intended to return and take me with her to wherever she lived. He seemed to be concerned, or even afraid, for as he took the meaning quite seriously and wasn't sure if he was anxious to leave the familiar surroundings of his family. Then, after fetching the woman, the creature returned Boash's clothing.
Speaker 1:He was led back to a room with stools and table where the crew sat and communicated with each other in their strange way, kind of just ignoring him. He felt altogether calm, for I knew no harm would come to me. Now he had a chance to take in his surroundings and he tried to remember everything he could. He noticed that the walls were smooth, metal and hard and no windows anywhere. He noticed a box with a glass top that kind of looked like an alarm clock and he tried to swipe it and conceal it. I guess it's kind of smart, if you're on an alien ship, to snag something and prove where you were.
Speaker 1:Oh hell yeah, but he was found out and one of the crew members seized it instantly and shoved him back.
Speaker 2:If you're going to do this on a table, we have to be underneath watching.
Speaker 1:The creatures continued to lead him through the ship, pointing out various interesting features which Boers described at length with a remarkable amount of detail. Boers stressed that there was no doubt in his mind whatsoever that he was aboard a metal craft. The tour finally over, one of the figures, gestured him down the ladder and pointed to itself, to the ground and then in a southerly direction, in the sky, the same direction the woman had pointed. Boers was signaled to step back, the ladder retracted and the ship rose. Tripod landing struts retracted once again so that, once in place, no sign of the opening was even visible, and stopped a little over a hundred feet above his head. It got increasingly brighter, the buzz formed, the dislocation of air grew louder and the revolving saucer began to rotate at a terrific speed, while the light turned to many shades of color, finally settling on a bright red. As this happened, the machine abruptly changed direction by turning unexpectedly and producing a large noise, a kind of shock. When this was over, the strange airship darted off suddenly like a bullet southward, holding itself slightly askew, at such a heady speed that it disappeared from sight in a few seconds. It now was about 5.30 in the morning when Boish returned to his tractor. By his reckoning, four and a quarter hours had elapsed. He discovered the tractor had been sabotaged. They were smart enough to know that he would try escaping and that they had knowledge of how a tractor works. They had detached the battery wires.
Speaker 1:Boish did not leave this particular encounter unscathed. He had many various medical ailments that lingered with him for months afterwards. Boish seemed to be suffering from radiation poisoning, with symptoms of body pains, nausea, headaches, loss of appetite, constant burning sensation in the eyes, cutaneous lesions at the slightest of light, bruising, which went on appearing for months, that looked like small red bumps, harder than the skin around it and protuberant, painful when touched, each with a small central orifice with yellow discharge. The skin wounds showed a hyperchromatic, violent tinged area. Bowers was also subjected to physical and psychological tests. Later on he also experienced excessive sleepiness, a trait commonly found in subsequent abduction cases.
Speaker 2:It sounds a lot like Rendlesham. I mean very similar to medical ailments that come after that. Yeah, I mean there similar to medical ailments that come after that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, I mean there's quite a few stories out there of people having encounters with UFOs and or alien beings and having many things, especially radiation, burns and poisoning.
Speaker 2:How do you explain that? I mean, that part is really hard to rationalize.
Speaker 1:That is one of those elements if it's to be believed. I mean again, a lot of this wasn't even looked at for months afterward, so you know it could have been from something else.
Speaker 2:Yeah, but radiation poisoning.
Speaker 1:A lot of the accounts say the appearance like the symptoms are similar to that of radiation poisoning, but I don't think it was ever officially diagnosed by a physician. That is my understanding. So in 1957, a Brazilian writer named Jao Martins penned the first installment of a series titled Flying Saucers Terrible Mission for the magazine O Cruzeiro. There he described cases of people at isolated places attacked by small alien beings, one being a case from 1954 of two Venezuelan teenagers who claimed to have stumbled upon a spaceship in the woods near their village. Of two Venezuelan teenagers who claimed to have stumbled upon a spaceship in the woods near their village, small hairy aliens attacked them and injured one of the boys before they were able to beat the creatures back using an unloaded rifle as a club and escape to safety. This is one of the cases that he published. Martins also asked his readers to write him with their own experiences. Among hundreds of responses he selected one of a young farmer from Minas Gerais with whom he exchanged several letters that next year. Martins paid for the 23-year-old farmer to come to Rio de Janeiro where he was examined by Dr Olavo Fontes. That farmer and his story was Antonio Villas-Boas, and his story was the one that was published. Dr Fontes sent a detailed report about Villas-Boas' case to the Aerial Phenomena Research Organization, but they decided it was too fantastic to publish. Nevertheless, the story circulated between experts for quite a while. Eventually, that story got out.
Speaker 1:Walter Buehler of the Brazilian ufology group Sbedv, s-b-e-d-v, and a follower of the self-described alien contactee George Adamski, learned about Wiesbos story and in 1962, buehler visited the young farmer in his hometown. The group subsequently published a report on the Wiesbos case in English and the account aligned with Adamski's earlier descriptions of aliens and their spaceship. In January 1965, an international journal called the Flying Saucer Review reproduced Buehler's report worldwide. Now, one of the things that led people to believe that it has to be true is that a lot of people had this fairly racist notion that a poor farmer with very little education he couldn't possibly come up with this. It has to be true. One, that's pretty effing racist. Two, he did go on to become a lawyer, so it's not as though he was unschooled. And three, anybody can come up with a story and anybody can have something happen to them. None of these are mutually exclusive concepts.
Speaker 2:Absolutely.
Speaker 1:After that incident incident he reported experiencing nightmares and haunted by flashbacks of his experience, probably for most of his life. Despite becoming a lawyer, his mental state had deteriorated and he exhibited mental symptoms such as anxiety, depression and distress. Hey, join the club. He married and had four children. He stuck to his story for the rest of his life. He'd had a little bit of fame, but he didn't write his own book or anything. This was long before going on television programs. He just stuck by a story until he passed away in 1991. Kind of the anti-Woody Derenberger.
Speaker 1:Yeah, and I mean again, does that lead anybody to believe his story is stronger than others? I don't know, but I think it's always a sign in the right direction when you're not trying to use it for fame and fortune. Well, others, I don't know, but I think it's always a sign in the right direction when you're not trying to use it for fame and fortune.
Speaker 2:Well, yeah, I mean, Betty and Barney Hill didn't want fame and fortune. In fact, their lives were ruined by the whole scenario.
Speaker 1:So there's a lot of elements of the story where it's kind of like ah, did he get this? You know, one assume that he read that story of the Venezuelan boys and some other stories from the magazine that then he wrote in about his own story. So maybe he took some flights of fancy and made it up. There's also the weird landing legs elements, things like that. But there were no abduction cases in popular culture before this point. This is the first major case of alien abduction and it had that sexual element, that hybridization element way back which we have touched on yeah these are all things that have become nigh ubiquitous within alien abduction stories.
Speaker 1:after that, again, there's a lot of eccentricities to the story, lots of differences, but there are a lot of core elements. So I mean you can't make a claim one way or the other, but it is interesting. That's why I pointed it out. He wasn't necessarily drawing off of anything that had come before. You know he hadn't seen an X-Files episode.
Speaker 2:Yeah, this was new. Yep, there was nobody in Barney Hill yet.
Speaker 1:That was not for years later.
Speaker 2:Brazil is a hotbed for that kind of activity.
Speaker 1:It is really curious we had talked about you know a lot of like these elements come from. You know there's a certain domino effect, one might say, and this is at least a case where there doesn't seem to be any dominoes. He would have been making this stuff up almost whole cloth. Which doesn't yeah, doesn't really make a lot of sense, maybe.
Speaker 2:Maybe, but no, I mean, it doesn't make a lot of sense that he would just come up with all of these tropes that would come up later just out of Hulk Law. I'm not discrediting him.
Speaker 1:A lot of people know about Betty Barney Hill or Travis Walton or those type of things, absolutely.
Speaker 1:But, not a lot of people know about VS Boas and the fact that his case happened so much earlier than those and the fact that his case happened so much earlier than those. But it took a long time to get out and spread and just never got the type of acclaim that those did. But it is kind of a progenitor of a lot of and really a bellwether for what would become standard fare. I mean, there's a lot of stuff in there you don't get. You don't get like little tubes from their helmets or whatnot, the weird red light things on their chests. You know, having saucy sex with the platinum haired fire crotch. Not enough, at least Not enough. I mean I could try and find more saucy.
Speaker 2:We can find some. It's probably not real, but we can find it. That is absolutely fascinating. Yeah, I'm really glad you brought that one up. That is a really, really interesting case study. Yeah, so that is that. I think that fits exactly into what we're trying to talk about when it comes to UFO phenomenon, alien abduction encounters.
Speaker 1:That was a good show.
Speaker 2:The TV show.
Speaker 1:That's so fucked up, literally. I was about to say that that was a good show, the TV show. I was going to say yes, no, that's so fucked up, literally.
Speaker 2:I was about to say that.
Speaker 1:It was a good show, though.
Speaker 2:I shouldn't have paused. I did. It was like which is exactly where we are? Ufo encounter experiences. I think sometimes we can be. I'm not actually dismissive. It's more that if we want to talk about things like this, I would rather be able to definitively discount the criticism if we're going to run with it. You know what I mean. Like I would rather come from the skeptical side that says, well, we have eliminated the obvious terrestrial explanations for it, because otherwise our credibility, just as believers or even just skeptics, suffers. So no, I'm not pessimistic, I am not cynical about it. I would rather just eliminate the possibilities that can be explained and when we get to where we cannot explain them now, we can actually talk about them in a way that we can speculate and evaluate these things on their surface.
Speaker 1:So I wanted one that had a sexy angle to it, you know.
Speaker 2:Hell yeah. Yeah, that wasn't gross like that. Harvest one yeah yeah, you know.
Speaker 1:I mean, he didn't ask to get taken to a ship by a bunch of aliens who were probably watching through the peepholes as he banked late, but he seemed to enjoy himself.
Speaker 2:Well, sure yeah, it wasn't a bunch of assy McGee's impregnating women. I mean better.
Speaker 1:Oh, Assie McGee's.
Speaker 2:That's kind of what that was. That was a messed up story. Lord knows what happened to her, Whether her accounts are completely accurate or not. Just I hope she finds solace somehow yeah.
Speaker 1:And even though he had some sexy times Vyashboas, like I said, he had issues that stemmed for months and years. Sure, both physical and psychological. So F off aliens. How about that?
Speaker 2:Yeah, cut it out. It's like a dog that jumps up on your lap constantly. Get the fuck, just get down. Just sit down, tim Allen, get out of here. Get the fuck out of my garage. Why aren't you in prison? Oh, you're a narc, I get it.
Speaker 1:Well, we'll be back with some interesting wild. Perhaps zany, probably a little less of that, a little more, hmm.
Speaker 2:We might do some zany ones, but hopefully not. Ufo cases make you say hmm, Hmm.
Speaker 1:Man funk that. Why is it every time I get abducted by aliens?
Speaker 2:See aliens be like no, we're not gonna do that.
Speaker 1:Aliens, they're short, short men Well.
Speaker 2:I'm just saying that hurts really tall Anyway we hope you've enjoyed, maybe learned something.
Speaker 1:If you like what you've heard, please share, subscribe and like on wherever you like things on the intertubes. If you wouldn't mind giving us five sexy alien ladies on the podcast app of your choice, we would greatly appreciate it. Ideally Apple Podcasts. That's the best way for us to be seen and heard. And again, thank you, just thank you for listening. It's always a pleasure to do this for you guys and we hope that you've enjoyed yourself. So until we fly up into the sky, skip, what should they do?
Speaker 2:Like R Kelly Piss.
Speaker 1:Down from on high as we urinate on our fan base.
Speaker 2:That's my favorite ELO album that is one of the better ones. Our fans, or at least just listeners, should tip your waitstaff. You tip your bartenders, your KJs and what have yous. Make sure you've cleaned up after yourself to some sort of reasonable degree and don't forget to support your local comic shops and retailers. And from Dispatch Ajax, Jack and I would both like to say Godspeed, fair wizards, and don't get abducted.
Speaker 1:Don't get abducted. Please go away.