Dispatch Ajax! Podcast
A Geek Culture Podcast - Two life-long Geeks explain, critique and poke fun at the major pillars of Geek Culture for your listening pleasure.
Dispatch Ajax! Podcast
Superman and Crystals
This deep dive explores the surprising origin and evolution of Superman's crystal aesthetic. But why crystals? We unpack the ancient human fascination with these mythic natural formations.
What began as a bold artistic choice in Richard Donner's 1978 film transformed Superman's visual identity forever, replacing the Buck Rogers-inspired aesthetics of early comics with something altogether more alien and mesmerizing.
You ever seen that movie what Lies Beneath? Yeah, that's based off my crystal mistress. Gentlemen, let's broaden our minds.
Speaker 2:Are they in the proper approach pattern for today? Negative.
Speaker 1:All weapons Now Charge the lightning field.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to Dispatch Ajax. I'm Skip, I'm Jake, and today we're going to discuss something that is in the, you know, modern zeitgeist, something people might have questions about after certain sneak peeks have happened. Uh, yeah, I certainly have questions about it, I'm not talking about what the fuck is going on with competing Predator films. No, Well they're pairing Predator films. I guess, but that's what I'm saying.
Speaker 1:Questions oh yeah, you know what questions deserve Answers.
Speaker 2:They do.
Speaker 1:And vengeance.
Speaker 2:So today, and I'm going to surprise you with this topic, though it shouldn't be a surprise with Superman coming out soon.
Speaker 1:Who.
Speaker 2:So there's this guy. Envision a world with a man when two kryptonians love each other very much uh-huh so, with the james gunn superman coming out, we see a return to the aesthetic of crystals in the structure of his fortress of solitude. This is obviously a callback or perhaps a through line that begins with richardner's Superman the movie.
Speaker 2:Though there have been many attempts over the years of Superman lore, retellings to redefine or move away from the crystal thing, it still endures as an iconic part of Superman mythos, both visually and narratively. Visually and narratively. Now, as a person who grew up on Superman comics, starting with my dad's comic books from the 50s, 60s and 70s, then getting my own comics in the 80s and through the 90s the crystal thing actually seemed like an aberration. It really wasn't common Before Superman.
Speaker 2:The movie Krypton and Superman's gear was aesthetically a continuation of the look and feel of the like Buck Rogers, flash Gordon era which we love, with bubble domes and rings around everything and costumes that look like Emperor Ming. So it was a little out of left field when the 1978 film adopted this bold new take. After the film post-crisis on Infinite Earths, john Byrne was tasked with redesigning Krypton in a couple of miniseries in the mid-80s leading up to the character's relaunch. The new direction DC took could be the reason they ran away from the crystal stuff to start fresh. Oh no, I'm sorry, let me take that again. Flip that script rewind.
Speaker 2:I'm an idiot. The new direction DC took could be the reason they ran away from the crystal stuff, not just to start fresh, but also because when Richard Lester took over the Superman movie franchise, the use of crystals suddenly made no sense at all and those movies were fucking terrible.
Speaker 1:Tell me how you really feel.
Speaker 2:That's the medical term.
Speaker 1:It's like you got a bit of shit around your film.
Speaker 2:Oh man, you got a real lester in there. We're gonna have to do an mri uh the cw show. Smallville brought back the iconic crystals and some lore from superman, the movie and even christopher reeve, which was kind of a big deal. Brian singer, superman returns made a series of understandable but ultimately problematic decisions, a series of problematic decisions Brian Singer would make. Let's just say that.
Speaker 1:They just slip right in there against the audience's, will I?
Speaker 2:need to have this young intern bring me coffee for an hour alone in my dressing room.
Speaker 1:Make sure and put some Astroroglide in that coffee.
Speaker 2:for me, the Secret Superman Returns did make a series of legitimately understandable decisions by going back to Donner's crystal look and trying to explain their behaviors from the first film in a way that explained a few hand-waved questions and advanced the new film's narrative. Later in the comics, dc brought back the crystals and dubbed them Sunstone, which I know, which, just like Krypton, is already a thing. One reason for this is likely that then-comics wunderkind Geoff Johns was formerly an intern for Richard Donner and even brought him on board to write a Superman arc in the mid aughts. But why crystals?
Speaker 1:As so many new agers in California have said.
Speaker 2:Are we in Sedona all of a sudden? Why crystals?
Speaker 1:Well, there is a dimensional portal opening up, you've got to get under that mountain in oregon.
Speaker 2:Why the choice to use that, look, that concept for superman? It wasn't because of kryptonite, because that was loosely based on the contemporary fascination with things like uranium and other radioactive stone-like materials. The 1978 fortress of solitude made sense in some ways, because if you were going to keep the lore of the fortress being unseen by the rest of the world by putting into the arctic though it would have made more sense putting it into the antarctic because it's uninhabited. In a modern world it would have to be hidden and built in like a completely different way.
Speaker 1:So crystals have been a mysterious part of mythology and mysticism throughout human history have to be hidden and built in like a completely different way.
Speaker 2:So crystals have been a mysterious part of mythology and mysticism throughout human history, obviously something other than what we consider stone, but often resembling something that seems as though it was manmade. Marisa Galvez, an associate professor of French and Italian at Stanford university, is working on a comprehensive history of the relationship between people and crystals throughout the century. Quote, and when I say that, I will quote her, but I also will paraphrase her, but I just still want to give the attribution Quote. The physical qualities of crystal make it stand out among other stones. Its ability to refract light and its transparent but dark appearance are partially the reasons why so many different cultures and societies ascribed magical powers to this stone.
Speaker 2:Because of their symmetry and, often, clarity, crystal symbolized spiritual purity and perfection and was often used in religious texts. The most ancient writings of Europe that mention crystal include the accounts of the Roman historian Pliny the Elder, who described different precious stones, their origins and physical qualities. The word crystal comes from the Greek kristallos, literally meaning coldness drawn together, essentially meaning ice. In Western Christianity, crystal was often mentioned in writings and is used to decorate religious objects, as it was thought that crystal manifested transcendence and the light of the heavens. For the religious, the stone symbolized purity, faith and perfection. For example, it was used often to describe the purity of the Virgin Mary, even though that whole thing is up for interpretation. Aside from its more obvious symbolism in faith and innocence, crystal was also a material for thinking about and not merely representing erotic love.
Speaker 1:Crystal is also the name of my favorite stripper.
Speaker 2:Exactly, crystal doesn't love you.
Speaker 1:I'm sorry, crystal only loves your Coke.
Speaker 2:Crystal will steal your wallet.
Speaker 1:Do not go in the back room with Crystal.
Speaker 2:Now that you've been in New Orleans you know what I mean. Even in descriptions of Eastern you know, like Orientalism and things like that architecture in medieval texts the crystalline qualities of fountains and buildings evoke mystery and uncertainty and desire. You know, people lusted for diamonds and yada, yada, yada. This was probably because the stone itself has a contradictory aesthetic quality. Crystal is a broad term, is transparent, but you need to put in effort in order to see through it. It refracts light, but it can also emit light. People have always had this fascination with precious stones, but they latched on to crystals partly because they have a contradictory physical quality. They are both dark and transparent. You can see through them, but not really. That history helps explain the continuing contemporary obsession with crystals and how they are thought to have magical healing effects and energy oh, like the dilithium crystals in star trek oh, we'll get to that oh sorry don't worry, we're gonna talk about dilithium, kyber crystals and the dark crystals.
Speaker 1:Don't worry oh, god damn it. I, I'm sorry, I'm sorry they just all like at least we're getting where our brains were, on the same path we're on the same page. Yeah, I want you to interject I was just reading ahead without reading ahead.
Speaker 2:In the middle ages people also thought that crystals would bring spiritual presence. People had this hunger to have something physical that embodied the purity and the divine People still have that hunger now, even in a more secular world.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you can get a crystal dildos right now.
Speaker 2:You can get a crystal skull dildo right now.
Speaker 1:You can get a crystal skull vodka dildo Today by 3 pm.
Speaker 2:I'll bring it myself. Dan Aykroyd will deliver it to your house.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, anybody need this crystal gold dildo. No it's like 150 bucks you get a blue Evan Turin crystal wand.
Speaker 2:He made him sound like Burt Reynolds.
Speaker 1:Burt Reynolds from SNL. Yeah, that's your, dan Aykroyd. Well.
Speaker 2:I don't know anybody who's ever done a good Dan Aykroy from snl yeah that's. Yeah, that's your dad. Act right. Well, I don't know anybody who's ever done a good dad aggro depression. So that's good as anybody.
Speaker 2:Crystals in many ways fulfill a spiritual need. Some people go to church, some do yoga and others collect and meditate with crystals. And you know what? There's a big vin diagram with those crossover From protective talismans to healing tools. Crystals have played diverse roles in human societies forever. One of the earliest and most prevalent uses of crystals throughout history has been as protective amulets. People believed that certain crystals possessed inherent energies that would ward off evil spirits and bring good fortune. And bring good fortune. From the ancient Egyptians adorning themselves with lapis, lazuli and turquoise to the Romans wearing amethysts for protection, crystals held an important place in the lives of our ancestors. These amulets were cherished treasures for their perceived ability to safeguard their wares from harm. People believed crystals could connect them to the divine. They could channel energy, energy, the energies of the cosmos. They could enhance intuition. Some cultures even attributed specific qualities to different crystals, associating with particular, you know, virtues or elements. You'll see that today that's still going on. The ancient mesopotamians utilized crystals as I'm sorry, hit heights, hit heights.
Speaker 1:That's good.
Speaker 2:The ancient Mesopotamians utilized crystals such as carnelian and jasper in their jewelry, their seals and their statues. They believed that these stones possessed protective and healing properties offering divine guidance. Crystals were revered as a conduit between the earthly realm and the realm of the gods or, in Mortal Kombat parlance, the earth realm and the out world. I don't know why that should be important. I have no idea. Yeah, no, it's a. You know we're a geeky podcast, that's fine, yeah shit, nothing's coming.
Speaker 2:I'm trying to like scrape everything, let's let's nail it, nail it, yeah, yeah, sometimes Shit nothing's coming. I'm trying to like scrape everything, nail it, nail it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, sometimes you just gotta keep going.
Speaker 2:I mean the Egyptians. Crystals like quartz and obsidian were placed within tombs to guide and protect the deceased on their journey to the afterlife. They believed that crystals could facilitate communication with the gods, believed that crystals could facilitate communication with the gods. Philosophers like Plato and Aristotle pondered the nature of crystals. Hippocrates recognized the healing potential of crystals and used them in their medicinal practices. And we will get to that, because that's going to be a whole problem or solution.
Speaker 2:When you cut off the head of your first whale, you can come back and tell me about that.
Speaker 1:Don't tell me, I do my business, don't tell me it didn't happen.
Speaker 2:In Hinduism, gemstones are associated with deities and are used in rituals and astrological practices. Buddhism incorporates crystals as offering on altars, representing purity and clarity. Taoism views crystals as embodying the five elements harmony and balance with the natural world. Native American and indigenous cultures have often revert. Wow, that's spelled wrong. I fucked that up. Have Native American and indigenous Native American creatures.
Speaker 1:I almost said creatures.
Speaker 2:Wow, I was going to say cultures, but I meant Jesus Christ.
Speaker 1:Jesus Christ also liked crystals.
Speaker 2:This is how we get the Book of Mormon. God damn it. Native American and indigenous cultures have often revered crystals for their spiritual and healing properties. Crystals are used in ceremonies, vision quests, what we might call shamanic practices. People think that by listening to them they can get insight from the past and connect with the land's spiritual energy. Now, in modern times, more and more people have embraced old ideas about healing properties possessed by crystals. However, they try and rationalize it through some measure of pseudoscience. The idea they have energy and properties that can be used for healing remains largely unproven. That's our disclaimer, I'm sorry. People who use crystals for healing often say that they can feel their energy. They may hold them and claim them. They feel hot. Natural stones feel cold to the touch, but they can feel warm after being held briefly. Yeah, that's physics, I don't follow.
Speaker 2:Thermal energy causes something to emit heat and or light and cannot be felt as a vibration. When the vibration of a crystal connects with the human energy field, it's believed chakras could be realigned. Human energy field, it's believed chakras could be realigned. And I don't want to sound like I'm coming down or being really negative on certain religions. That's not what I'm saying, I just am.
Speaker 2:I get it I'm just fucking with you no, I mean it's fair to say that I'm not discounting hinduism or taoism or buddhism by saying since we're talking about modern upper middle class white people, but I get it, I do. There are some scientific things that do back that up to a certain extent, but not in the way that they're used. There's a phenomenon known as piezoelectricity and that is often used to support the theory that crystals vibrate at different frequencies. Piezoelectricity is an electrical charge produced when certain crystals are exposed to a mechanical stress or pressure.
Speaker 2:According to people who believe in crystal healing and things like that, everything in the universe, including crystals and living beings, emits a vibration. The vibrational frequency is said to interact with an energy field surrounding the human body. Unfortunately, it is true, but it's also not true. It's true that atoms vibrate. It is true that there is a vibrational frequency to everything in the universe. The way they're taking it is picking and choosing from different ideas. It's believed that when one aligns with the other, it can affect physical, emotional and spiritual well-being. The idea that by using crystals with a specific vibrational frequency, it's possible to influence or align an energy field surrounding the body, promoting balance and healing. You know just generic words. The problem with this is that energy fields and vibrational frequencies in that context do not exist.
Speaker 2:The belief that crystals vibrate comes from the understanding that everything in the universe is moving. That is true. The extent to which they move varies depending on the object. Now, some of this conception is completely understandable. I get it. Microscopic particles, such as atoms, do vibrate and interact with each other. Matter is made up of atoms and molecules, both of which are moving. The movement known as thermal energy causes them to vibrate, emitting energy in the form of heat and light, which is just the electromagnetic spectrum, which is everything Heat, light, radio waves. The ability, for instance, of quartz crystals to retain information has led to the belief that a crystal used for healing can be programmed to store info, but that's not really how it works.
Speaker 2:A crystal oscillator is an electronic circuit that uses a piezoelectric crystal as a frequency selective element, which means the oscillator frequency is often used to keep track of time, like in quartz watches, or to provide a stable clock signal for digital integrated circuits and to stabilize frequencies for radio transmitters and receivers. The most common type of piezoelectric resonator is a quartz crystal, so oscillator circuits incorporating them became known as crystal oscillators. However, other piezoelectric materials, including polycrystalline ceramics, are used in similar circuits. See, a crystal oscillator relies on the slight change in the shape of a crystal under an electric field. People don't do this anymore, but it used to be when you were like in elementary school or junior high. You would make a crystal radio.
Speaker 2:A voltage applied to the electrodes on the crystal causes it to change shape. When the voltage is removed, the crystal generates a small voltage as it elastically returns to its original shape, which is fascinating and really cool, and arguably this is one of the things that a lot of physicists talk about. Isn't this way more wondrous and fascinating that the universe works this way? It's amazing.
Speaker 2:Fundamentally, a crystal is a solid in which the constituent atoms, molecules or ions are packed into a regularly ordered, repeating pattern extending in all three spatial dimensions. It's symmetrical and very, very well structured. It's structured in an ordered way, but almost any object made out of any elastic material could be used like a crystal this way, you know, if you, as long as you have appropriate transducers, since all objects have natural resonant frequencies of vibration. For example, steel is very elastic and has a high speed of sound, which means that sound travels through it at high speed. It was often used in mechanical filters before quartz was. The resonant frequency depends on the size, shape and elasticity and the speed of sound within an object. So yeah, you could see why there were. You could see why there are so many ways crystals seem so mythical and mistress, mistress.
Speaker 1:That's not I. I too had a mistress. Uh made a crystal I paid her off. She doesn't call anymore you ever seen that movie at what lies beneath? Yeah, that's based off my crystal mistress never call here.
Speaker 2:That's why they seem so mythical and mysterious, metaphysics and physics alike. On top of all of that, natural crystal formation can be confounding to the layperson or our ancestors. They aren't necessarily a product of erosion like most rocks, and, though not alive, crystals technically grow. Crystals grow when molecules that are alike get close to each other and stick together, forming chemical bonds that act like velcro between atoms. Mineral crystals cannot just start forming spontaneously. They need special conditions and a nucleotation site to grow on. A nucleotation site can be a rough edge of a rock or a speck of dust. That creates a chain reaction. That's exactly how hail works.
Speaker 2:You can't have hail unless there's a speck of dust or something to form the ice crystals around, and then it falls down. It's not heavy enough to fall to the ground, so it goes back up, forms more ice crystals comes down, same thing over and over again until it's heavy enough to fall out of the air. It's the exact same thing, which is fascinating because it's not ice, it's not water. It's a mineral created by the earth. That's completely different. At or near the earth's surface, a lot of molecules are dissolved in water. They flow through over the ground If there are enough molecules in the water that are alike, they will separate from the water as solids. If they have a nucleotide site, they will stick to it and start to form crystals.
Speaker 2:Rock salt, which is actually a mineral called halite, grows exactly the same way. Other minerals, for instance travertine, sometimes forms flat edges in caves and around hot springs, where water causes chemical reactions between the water, the rock and the air. You at home right now could make salt stalactites by growing crystals on a string. You take a string, yeah, you dissolve epsom salts in water and lower a string into it. Leave it for a few days. The water will slowly evaporate and leave the Epsom salts behind. As that happens, salt crystals precipitate out of the water and go crystals on the string. I've seen it. I've seen it happen.
Speaker 1:Don't tell me it didn't happen.
Speaker 2:When magma cools down, mineral crystals grow from it just like water freezing into ice cubes. These mineral crystals form at high temperatures and much higher temperatures than salt. So as a device of fiction, they're understood and misunderstood. Just enough to be a blank canvas MacGuffin In Star Trek. Dilithium crystals facilitate warp drive. They don't power starships. I want to make that very clear. Dilithium crystals facilitate warp drive, they don't power starships. I want to make that very clear. Dilithium crystals do not power starships. They facilitate the matter-antimatter reaction within a starship. All right, let's clear that up.
Speaker 1:Okay. So what is the energy source? That's the collision between matter and antimatter, mm-hmm. Okay, and then the crystal is the conduit by which that energy is then used. Yes, okay.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, because they vibrate the crystal at a specific frequency in which, just like a lot of crystals on Earth, will refract light and let light pass through it. When they introduce matter and antimatter, specifically hydrogen, well, deuterium, which is an ion of hydrogen, and anti-deuterium at the same time through it, it passes through the crystal. Because the crystal is vibrating at a specific way, it allows the antimatter to pass through it and the matter to pass through it without destroying it, colliding and then being focused through the crystal. Obviously, that energy becomes plasma and is focused through the warp chamber. So crystals don't power anything in Star Trek. They just allow the controlled annihilation of matter and item matter.
Speaker 1:Hmm.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's it.
Speaker 1:All right.
Speaker 2:Anyway, in Star Wars, kyber crystals powered lightsabers and the Death Star. The dark crystal reflected the power of the celestial to merge two different beings into new life. So, having the crystals given to him by his parents, superman was able to fabricate a crystal sanctuary spontaneously and of its own accord, a technology imbued with power and knowledge grown from the ice of a barren wasteland. That, and I think the idea was to mark Krypton not just as alien but also cold, sterile, a clean crystalline order. Crystals are so baffling because they are so perfectly ordered atomically out of absolute chaos. If you remember the real final conflict in Donner's Super, in the Movie before Zod shows up and all that. The conflict is between Jor-El's directive to not interfere and let human history take its course and the empathy taught to Clark by the Kents that leads him to save Lois and bend the rules of Jor-El. Physics and logic. Interestingly, james Gunn's new Superman movie seems to keep crystals in the forefront while also embracing the golden and silver age aesthetics that Grant Morrison leaned into in the seminal All-Star Superman.
Speaker 2:So I think it's safe to say now, at this point, the crystals aren't going anywhere crystals are eternal this is my crystal blue persuasion up next on pole three pole three makes me sound like she's a racehorse I got three to one on crystal uh, we got daddy's delicate condition.
Speaker 1:Come on, let's go all right, and we need uh crystal coming forth for our quintilla. I haven't seen. So do they have like is is the fortune of solitude? Does it look like the donner one? Yes okay, it does. I guess it's just kind of become ingrained in part of the Superman mythos now that you can't deny it.
Speaker 2:You had all of Superman lore up until Superman the movie. That's all just Flash Gordon, you know, buck Rogers, shit. And then you get Superman the movie and they do crystals and then they go away from it and after Crisis they don't do the crystal thing anymore. Then they go away from it and after Crisis they don't do the crystal thing anymore. It wasn't until essentially until Geoff Johns started reintegrating the crystal thing around the time that Superman Returns came out that they brought that back into mainstream DC lore and even after that with Snyder's man of Steel, they completely ignored the crystal thing.
Speaker 1:While you're talking, I looked at the history of the Fortress of Solitude and I was like what did Snyder do? Because I didn't really remember and it's like no, it's nothing really like that.
Speaker 2:No, it's a ship that crashed in the Antarctic, I think.
Speaker 1:Yeah, talk about sterile.
Speaker 2:He threw the green crystal into the Arctic and that created the Fortress of Solitude. Why would it be green if Kryptonite is green and all that? You know like that doesn't really make a lot of sense. Some of that it's hand wavy with the donner stuff and that's fine. The lester stuff they try and use that and it and it doesn't make any sense. So I think that dc was trying to run away from the lester stuff as much as they possibly could, just like they ran from the joel schumacher shit and then when jeff johns came aboard he helped bring that back. That's when they get the sunstone thing and that's when you get what you have now in dc lore with with how crystals work with kryptonians yeah, I guess it's just it's.
Speaker 1:It's so replaced previous ideas yeah when I think of, say, the man who had everything for the man who has yeah for the man who has I. I envision it in my head of being like a crystal structure because it was set in the arctic.
Speaker 2:Before that he lived in the mountain. It was like a hollowed out mountain that he made with a giant key the giant key yeah, I remember the giant key, just so ridiculous in all-star superman. They actually do a really good riff on that, which I think is very, very good, where it's just carved from the heart of a neutron star. So it's not a giant key, but it's the heaviest key in the entire world.
Speaker 2:Yeah that's fun. But you know, when you get to the modern era where you can't do that anymore because satellites and cameras and people traveling across the Arctic, that doesn't make sense anymore. So it made sense that they had to be like, well, they had to hide it and then you can grow it out of the ground. No, a lot of that, even, like you said in the man who has. For the man who has everything. Um, it's because it was supposed to be in one of the two poles, so it was ice. It wasn't.
Speaker 2:It literally wasn't until 1978's movie that they established it as crystal, and crystals in general are fascinating. I understand why people are interested in them. It literally wasn't until 1978's movie that they established it as crystal. Crystals in general are fascinating. I understand why people are interested in them. They do seem sort of antithetical to what we know about the natural world. You know Like you get rocks and you get man-made stuff and you get glass and you get that. But crystals form naturally and they grow without being alive. And it's not mysterious, even though it kind of is, because I didn't even I should have, but I didn't even get into time crystals.
Speaker 1:Or crystal skulls or the crystalline entity.
Speaker 2:I know I kind of wanted to do all of that, but I didn't have time.
Speaker 1:Yeah, we have something that is so permeated, so many cultures, so much of both fact and fiction You've got to cut everything off at some point, you know.
Speaker 2:It is the perfect MacGuffin. You can just say it's a crystal and because you know, crystals are used to store information. They do emit energy, they do vibrate, they do grow All of these weird things that don't make a lot of sense compared to the rest of the natural world. They're an easy thing to use for narrative MacGuffins, and that's just what they did. It worked in Superman 78.
Speaker 1:It's just as fascinating now as it was 2000 BC.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, 350,000 years ago. Yeah, you know, when we're in caves and we see crystals form because of mineral deposits or whatever, yeah, it's just as fascinating now as it was then.
Speaker 1:Thanks for listening to the latest crystal podcast, where we discuss all things crystals.
Speaker 2:Healing.
Speaker 1:Healing, sexual energizing.
Speaker 2:Lightsabers.
Speaker 1:Light drives Egyptian mythology.
Speaker 2:Stargate.
Speaker 1:Dan Aykroyd vodka. You know all the important things really.
Speaker 2:The things that matter to the lives of everyday Americans.
Speaker 1:We're going to start our crystal platform.
Speaker 2:You and I. Co-president, vice president Howard the Duck.
Speaker 1:A crystal version of Howard the Duck.
Speaker 2:Like Emma Frost. Yes, exactly, I knew, that's where you were going.
Speaker 1:Until the next crystal podcast. We've hoped that you've enjoyed the episode. We've definitely enjoyed this journey together. If you wouldn't mind rating us five crystalline entities on the podcast app of your choice? Ideally, apple podcast is the best way for us to get heard and seen and the word spread around to all the other crystalline entities that you know and love. But until we plug your ears with the next crystal pod oh, and sometimes we're going to do like little pods we're going to call them crystal light.
Speaker 2:Oh, damn it.
Speaker 1:Now I have to do that it's stupid, but stupid is what we bring and stupid is what you love. It is what it does. Yeah, it's like what it says on the package. Right Skip. What should they do until that next time?
Speaker 2:Well, they should probably clean up all the crystals around themselves to some sort of reasonable degree, reasonable crystal degree.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they should probably pay their crystals to their bartenders If they could put the crystal within the crystal.
Speaker 2:If they could use crystal to pay their bartenders and their KJs, their broadcasters.
Speaker 1:And to pay crystal up on.
Speaker 2:Bowl 3. Like Tuco Salamanca, if they could use crystal to pay all of these things, if they could support those local comic shops and retailers by paying them in Crystal, but only by the book Amethyst from DC Comics.
Speaker 1:Oh, don't do that.
Speaker 2:I went there.
Speaker 1:Well, somebody had to.
Speaker 2:Really, though, I was kind of holding on to it being like well, I gotta say, at some point, it's a living. You don't know this, but Jake is a small pterodactyl that lives underneath my desk.
Speaker 1:I've gotta do pods, I gotta do blowjobs and I do garb disposal.
Speaker 2:It's weird because he doesn't have lips. It's what he likes, but he does scratch the recordings Of our podcast into a vinyl For some reason.
Speaker 1:I got these wings. What else am? Am I going to do with them?
Speaker 2:That's your beak. That's weird.
Speaker 1:Just end it.
Speaker 2:We would like to say Godspeed, fair wizards.
Speaker 1:Crystals. Please go away.