Well, hello and welcome to another edition and episode of the Family Business Podcast with the Alessis. And today I am with my wife, Mary Alessie. It's good to be here. As we are talking about family, because family is everybody's business.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_03And we're talking about family and the way that we are preparing ourselves for this new year. So, Mary, this is something you've got some thoughts that you want to go ahead and share. So I'm going to give you the reins of this podcast. And I'm going to drink a lot of coffee and listen to go for it.
SPEAKER_01All right. First of all, I just need to say for those of you listening, go watch the YouTube video because your hair looks really great. Just gonna say that. Yeah. They need to see his hair. It's a little long. Looks good. Yeah. I like it. Um, well, thank you. Some people lost their hair after they had COVID. I know. You're gaining, you're getting more hair. What's up with that? I don't know. You're growing more. Growing more. Okay, so I want to talk about something. Yes. And I'm not trying to be controversial. You know me, I don't like conflict.
SPEAKER_03Oh, please be controversial.
SPEAKER_01Well, I don't want to be controversial, but I do think.
SPEAKER_03Our numbers increase when you're in the controversial.
SPEAKER_01So we're going to talk about COVID. We're going to go there. And I wanted to talk about it. What variant? No, all of them. Okay. All of them and those to come. Because I know that when we get up, when we're in our church role as pastors, we think people don't want to hear about it. Like they don't want to hear about politics. They're sick of it. But the truth is people do want to talk about it. They just can't talk about it. And we need to because we've got to move forward from it. Yeah. It isn't like politics. It isn't. It has affected us. It's affected us personally. It affects us spirit, soul, and body. And we need to talk about it and not be afraid to so we can move forward. And one of the issues I think we are all dealing with is that we might not be on the same page with our family members. I know we're not. I know from my friends, my own personal family members, we're pretty fortunate that we're almost on the exact same page with all our family.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, because there's, you know, we we just are. We we kind of think the same, but not everybody is. There's a lot of family members who have lost loved ones, maybe not to COVID itself, but they're not talking to each other because of COVID. Yeah. And it might be over the vaccine. It could be you came over and you shouldn't have. You didn't wear your mask, and you have, you know, we all got COVID from you. Well, the truth is we're that's all in our rearview mirror, or at least it needs to be.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so I just wanted to talk about it. I wanted to put it out there because we've discussed this with our whole family. And I think it's time for us to start embracing hope over despair. And we can move forward in 2022. We have to, with a newfound sense of freedom from that fear and that shadow of COVID. And that's what I want to talk about.
SPEAKER_03I like that. Because here's something very interesting. I, in our line of work, I share before our uh church family and uh speak. And I'm
about to start down this uh uh journey this year on helping people who understand who they have faith in. Is it the World Health Organization, the WHO, or is it God? Is it is He who you need to have your I like that faith in locked into? So you have to have faith and and who's it gonna be connected to. But I was then gonna share a little bit into the different names and personalities, characteristics of who God is. And as I went back to look over some of my notes from the past, um, all of this is, of course, trying to get people to have faith in God and not get so caught up in the fear that's out there about COVID and the uncertainty of the future. I went back to my notes and they were in 2005. And there I'm talking about these different characteristics of God, and one of my points had to do with the all-powerful uh characteristic of the divine and how he can protect us. And one of the things I mentioned then was he can protect us from the H1N1 virus. No way. In 2005, the swine flew. Remember how everybody was spazzing out, concerned, a lot of fear, all that was going on. Then in 2005, we're teaching some of this material, and it's the same thing. And just like we were kept and got out of that, yes, yes, yes, we will be kept and get out of this season that we're in right now. So I like the idea that we should already be processing. Yeah, what's my exit strategy here? How am I going to get out of this thing that has been thrown on us for the last year that almost two? Yeah. That could cause us to maybe be a little fearful of our um our future. Right. Because Mary, there's been a lot of missed opportunities in the last couple of years.
SPEAKER_01Oh my goodness. It's it's sad to rehearse. It's almost like it really is.
SPEAKER_03I think about from sports perspective. Young men and women have lost the opportunity to compete at levels in their sport all because things were canceled.
SPEAKER_01Right. And that's the good news. There's it's there's layers of this that really get hurt, really get hurtful when you think about people. I I'm not even gonna go there. We'll stay with sports, but that that it has created such a wave of after effect where people are going to start processing now everything they missed out on.
SPEAKER_03It's probably gonna make a lot of people upset.
SPEAKER_01I I really think, oh, I and it already is, which is why we got to talk about it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because I really feel like world leaders, and I can only speak about America because that's where we live, but I know they're going to need mouthpieces and they're going to need the church. They're gonna need people that are filled with hope and positivity to help us get our communities back to normal. Because they talk about getting back to normal. How do we get back to normal? Well, the truth is you can't get back to normal until people agree to get back to normal. It's gonna be us that make a decision. We're we want to and we're going to because we have to.
SPEAKER_03Now let's let's just make sure people understand we are not um anti-vaxxers, we're not covet deniers. We know this stuff really occurred in the world, and it's stuff that we have to have to deal with. You unfortunately just lost a cousin a couple of years younger than you. She had cancer, right? She was fighting cancer, but she picked up COVID and Sunday after you shared from the platform to bless our church family, you walked down and there was a text telling you that your cousin had passed away. So, yeah, we know COVID is real. Yes. Um, so but
how are we going to address moving forward?
SPEAKER_01I think the first and foremost, the most important thing is wellness. Because what we've learned through this process of COVID is that it preys on the sick. It preys on those with comorbidities. We know that. We've we I never knew that term before COVID. I didn't even understand that. I'm not a doctor. I am not scientific in any way. I hated science. But now we know these this language that we throw around at the water cooler like we're experts, you know. It's hysterical, you know, all the data we've read and the people we listen to and those we don't listen to, and it just creates conflict. We have to start moving away from that stuff. COVID has to become something that we are respectful towards and mindful of, but it has to be something that we realize the shadow of it and the fear of it is just as dangerous now. If we don't move forward from it, where it isn't in our everyday language and in our thoughts and our responses to it, when we hear someone that is sick, that is in the hospital, we can't allow that anymore to grip us with fear and pull us backwards. And the reason that is, is people aren't processing their mental health in this. Mental health is a big issue right now, and we know this. You don't get ulcers just because. You get ulcers because of stress. Yeah, you get shingles because of stress. You have issues that start happening in your body, gut health, all of that. Stress related. And a lot of that leads to the stress makes you eat wrong, eating wrong makes you sicker, you get heavier. Now you're just in the window of real sickness and problems. So now you're more susceptible. So it starts with understanding we have to be well, spirit, soul, and body. So for me, I have to operate practicing hope and not despair. I can't keep listening to the stories. I can't keep reading about it. I don't want to keep seeing people with masks on. I know I'm gonna see that. And if they wear them, that's fine. But for me, I have to make a mental practice to say that will not affect me and put me back in fear. And I'll I'll give an example. Like my mother, our mothers are older, your mom's 83, my mom's 80. And we've spent two years putting real um boundaries around them of protection. And if we hear anybody's got COVID, don't go around our moms. If any of the great grandkids on my mom's side have COVID, okay, well, they can't go see grandma. Well, that means now she's in isolation. Yeah, she's isolated.
SPEAKER_03That's not that we were saying that.
SPEAKER_01No, no, other family members. So we we had we have to start believing and saying what's better for her right now is to be around her grandchildren.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because she needs, she needs to be, she needs them. And we can't keep rehearsing and practicing COVID drills. It's not good. It's like doing a fire drill every day. At some point, you're gonna just start living freaked out that it fires you. And it is, it's a loop of groundhogs day. You just keep living the same day over and over again, the same fears over and over again. And we have to move forward. The reason why is because hope and good thoughts and positivity, with or without God in the middle of it. Okay, this does not even require God. But hope and positivity and healthy thoughts lead to better health because it reduces stress. And we know this. All you gotta do is Google it. If your stress levels rise, your cortisol levels rise. If your cortisol levels rise, you put on weight in the area that will make you sicker. It leads to heart attacks, it leads to artery blocks, it leads to a lot of different problems that are worse than COVID.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So we need to have these conversations and we're not laughing in the face of COVID saying, well, I'm sick and I'm afraid, I'm tired of being afraid of COVID. That's not what we're saying. What we're saying is at some point, we have to start getting back to normal, not a new normal. Because even that, no, you hate that.
SPEAKER_03I reject that.
SPEAKER_01You don't like the new normal thing. We're gonna get back to normal. Yeah, where we embrace freedom. That's right. No, we don't need a new normal. What does that even mean?
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_01So now we live with this shadow forever? Absolutely. But when have we?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01When have we? We move forward as a nation, we move forward as human beings, and we get back to normal, and it's a distant memory. But I do think because this has lasted for so long, I'm sure it's after any war. It took people time, but they had to stop being afraid that an atom bomb would drop. They had to stop being afraid that another war would break out. You have to start living as if that's never gonna happen again.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. By the way, this is the part I like about you.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_03I tell you all the time when you get into these, this mode, this mindset, you say things and articulate it in such a great way. It's wisdom. That's what you're sharing here, is wisdom on how to move forward.
SPEAKER_01So you're welcome. You know, the the truth is, it really is our job. We are called to bring good news.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And good news isn't just so you can go to heaven. Good news is so you can live a healthy life here on earth. And good news will save you. I mean, there's there's been people on that are sick, young children on their deathbed, opening up the window and letting the sun shine in healed them. I believe that. And I I just feel like it's not being unrealistic to stay in a positive place. I think it's life and death here right now. I think us moving towards being positive and embracing a future where we can live free of COVID and not be afraid and not be at each other's throats over it. Um we need to start believing that again.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And we need to start speaking that again and talking that again with grace, with mercy towards others who might not quite be there. And that really kind of leads to the how parts. How do we do it?
SPEAKER_03Do you do you think uh similar to after our my heart attack, there there's the country's in a measure of PTSD?
SPEAKER_01Totally.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Well, I can remember your mom and dad were had PTSD around you for a long, long time.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01And I I used to get upset because I needed to move forward from when I'd call you at the house and you wouldn't answer me because you were out in the yard. I couldn't keep freaking out.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01I had to get over that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I had to lay that down. And and your dad, your precious Italian father, you're his only son, um, would if I I had to be very careful around him.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because he that lasted in him a long, long time. The fear of losing you.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01And he'd get on me, Mary, you can't let Steve drive. You can't let him go by himself. He can't walk. Was he by himself? That lasted a long time. And I didn't even always tell you. But I I had to really take authority over that a few times.
SPEAKER_03And the country's in that place. Yes. And will be probably. And and as we talk about family, uh being sensitive to the spouse, because maybe the spouse is experiencing that if they've come close to losing a loved one or have lost a loved one. Um the the children for sure, right? The stuff that they're hearing and what's being put up on them, the fear, the cancellation of class and schools. And, you know, we thought that'd be a party at one point, but now all these kids are having some uh long-term effects of all of that. There is a measure that's global. You can't go through what we went through, a total shutdown and expect that people will not be feeling the effects of it. So what we're trying to ultimately say is we gotta, it's kind of like you just gotta, I hate to use this word phrase, but pop the pimple.
SPEAKER_01Get the stuff out. You gotta get it out.
SPEAKER_03And and now let's start moving to some measure of healing, yes, spirit, soul, and body.
SPEAKER_01And I I really do liken it in some ways to a battleground or a war that our forefathers had to fight. Because when the war was over, it really didn't matter what you believed. The war was over. It's over. It didn't matter what side you fought for, because soldiers came back and survived those wars and had to live side by side. Farmers had to till the ground side by side, and one fought for the left and one fought for the right, one fought for the south and one fought for the north. It really doesn't matter when we're trying to rebuild our lives, yeah, what side we're on. So many people, industries have been built on the negativity of COVID, not on the positivity, the negativity of COVID. People have made billions off of COVID. And we have to realize that what matters the most is our well-being, our own personal, mental, spiritual, health, and physical. And that's all that matters right now. It really, we really need to get a grip that the arguing, who was right, who was wrong, who gave us bad information, who mishandled this, it doesn't matter because at the end of the day, the effect is greater on
all of us, not who at the end of the day was responsible for this. Although that that they'll figure that out. I know that that's going to be figured out. In the meantime, we have to get back to life. We have to get back to having a healthy home, a healthy body, raising healthy kids, unmasking them so that they're not living in fear and we're not still fighting some fight to prove that we were right. It doesn't matter anymore.
SPEAKER_03It doesn't.
SPEAKER_01And the more time goes by, the less it matters. And we have to start rallying. I walked into Whole Foods with Lauren, I was telling you this Sunday night at like eight o'clock at night. And we walked in, and here we are, there's no mask mandates, and people have been very respectful of masks. And I've wondered where does my community stand on the fear levels of even the this last variant that we know the hospitals aren't full. We know the numbers, but yet still people are living in fear. The majority of people in Whole Foods, and it was packed. This was the irony of it, packed, wall to wall. I said to Lauren, is there a storm coming? Is there a hurricane? Because there are so many people, shelves were not full. All of this is the effect from COVID. And it causes people to live in the urgent.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01But the majority of people had their masks on. And I said to Lauren, I said, you know, we have an opportunity here as hope dealers. I don't mean to be corny, but we really do have an opportunity to help people walk through back to hope and away from despair and fear. We really do. And I I think that anybody that's walking in hope today needs to step up and just start sharing that hope. Good. Because the country, your city, your town, your family needs it. Not for you to judge them, not for you to show them the light, latest data, not for you to tell them not to be afraid, but just start lovingly with mercy and grace moving forward for their own sake and make it about them. Listen, this isn't good for your health.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I hope that we've equipped them with some language because as Pastor Steve, you and I have done this over and over and over. COVID is not new to us from the standpoint of helping people get back to life. We've helped families who've lost a loved one.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01You know, families that's lost everything. People that have moved from other cities because they lost everything. After Hurricane Andrew, we've we've had to learn and how to operate in hope again and rebuilding. Yeah. So we're we're equipped to do this, is what we're called to do. So the truth is it's an opportunity for people to be healthier than they've ever been, happier than they've ever been, and really live the life they want to live and need to live.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. Mary, I like what you're saying about hope dealers. Somebody's got to step up and just keep talking positive and you're going to be ridiculed a little for it. That's awesome. You're going to be called different names and made to feel as though what you're doing isn't right. But somebody's got to step up and somebody's got to. It reminds me of that movie that I saw recently called The Postman with Kevin Costner. And I picked up the movie maybe a quarter of the way in. So I don't know what really happened on the front end, but what I did pick up on was something occurred in the country. And there were then these pockets of survivors all over in different regions. And this Kevin Costner was this postman that ended up coming into one of those surviving, well-protected uh communities. Um and they were protected to isolate themselves from whatever occurred that brought such devastation to the rest of the people.
SPEAKER_02They survived it.
SPEAKER_03They thought they were the only survivors. Yeah. And the whole thing was here comes this little postman. And what it whether he was or wasn't, we're not really sure in it. But he would come with letters and then he would stand up and read these letters like it's the new uh survived United States government rebuild. And he would read these letters to the people. And some of them, it was just from either the home base or then it started to become from family members. Right. He would call them out. He had acted, hey, call out the different family. And what it would do to that little pocket as the postman came in was it would bring encouragement. Yes. Hope. It would bring hope that they weren't the only ones that were surviving this. And then as that happened, more people, more of the town residents were inspired by the postman. So they then wanted to become postmen as well. And it started to build up these ranks of postmen that would then go from these different little communities all over the country. And it became a movement. Right. And the whole movement was let's bring good news to our survivors.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That there's more of us that have survived and we're rebuilding and we're going on than there was people that had been lost. And so it was a great analogy of what we need to be for our family and our friends. Let's the companies we lead and work in. Let's move forward.
SPEAKER_01Yes. And bring that to your office. Bring good news to your office. I think
that where we are the majority of the day is where we influence the most. Are you? Are you in an office setting? Are you zooming all day long? Are you with your children? Are you at on the school property? Wherever you are, bring a measure of hope. Bring a measure of good news. And just the truth is, let us start with you. Because we, you and I can't bring good news to someone if we don't believe it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I believe we will get back to normal. I'm gonna get there on all by myself. I've made a decision for my health. I was uh processing the weight gain. Okay, I'm just gonna be honest with you because we had two weddings in 2021. Oh Lord. In 2021, you and I lost a lot of weight for the weddings, and then all of a sudden, here comes no wait, when did we I'm lost? 2020 was a shutdown. Both our kids got engaged. This is what they do to us, right? Yes. And then in 2021, they both got married, and one of them now is pregnant with a baby, our little girl. And somewhere in there after the weddings, we went off the rails and put weight back on, right? And so I just decided all by myself, me and me alone, I have to get in a good positive space. I have to really start speaking over my life that I am going to lose this weight because all the all the messaging is at 53 is, oh, you'll you can run and you can starve yourself, but you won't lose an ounce because of your age and your hormones and all that. Well, I I that may be true. So here's the thing: I'm gonna do my part for that not to be my reality because I want to be healthy. I want to feel good about myself. So I have to fight hard against the negativity, but not only the negativity, Steve, there's a part of me that just wants to give into it and go, Well, that's 50.
SPEAKER_03Welcome to my world. I'll be a grandma now. It's the first time in our married life. You gotta worry about your waistline.
unknownI know.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I have a lot of empathy for you.
SPEAKER_03Now you have it. Oh, all those years you fat shamed me and guilted me and pull french fries away from you. Oh my gosh. Yes. Now I'm sorry. I repent. I apologize. That was a rabbit trail. Now, what were you saying?
SPEAKER_01My point that was, but anyway, I feel you feel better. I know you do. Um, my point is that for our own sakes, we have to start as individuals. We can't keep working in groups with this thing.
SPEAKER_03You know, by the way, it is kind of cruel.
SPEAKER_01What?
SPEAKER_03Drink my coffee for the show. As guys get older, our appetites change.
SPEAKER_01No, I don't even want to talk about it.
SPEAKER_03And we seem to get thinner as we get older.
SPEAKER_01Insanely unfair. When I get to heaven.
SPEAKER_03Oh, you'll blame me for this one.
SPEAKER_01I'm I don't get it. You diet for five days and lose seven pounds.
SPEAKER_03Yeah. I don't get it. Because I have I'm in a competition with old John Roman over here.
SPEAKER_01Does it matter?
SPEAKER_03And I'm gonna get my money.
SPEAKER_01It doesn't matter. You do it and I I I lose five ounces. What's up with that? It's not funny. That's right. Go ahead and cough.
SPEAKER_03He's not sick from COVID, he's not. This is laugh, cough. Oh boy.
SPEAKER_01Unbelievable. Anyway, but my point in talking comparing this to weight loss with all of our areas of our life that we want to get better and move forward, it starts with us individually.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And I can't get better in my health in a group. It's not what the group does, it's what I personally decide to do. And it's the same thing with COVID and moving forward into COVID-free zone, which we can and we will, and we have to believe that we can. And it's just taking those steps of starting with your own mind and your own decision to say, it's going to start with me. And we aren't going to live in fear. We are going to start moving forward. And one way to do it is unfollow everybody that talks negatively about COVID and other things, just like you wouldn't keep following Taste Made and the pasta queen if you're trying to lose weight.
SPEAKER_02Cool.
SPEAKER_01You got to stop looking at food. Yep. Right? It's the same thing with COVID. Anyway, that's my that's my rant. See, but that's what I'm saying.
SPEAKER_03Everything you've said today has doesn't say anything good or bad about COVID. No. Doesn't say anything good or bad, positive, negative about vaccines.
SPEAKER_01None of that matters.
SPEAKER_03About boosters. None of that matters. None of that stuff. Do what you feel to do. It's in the landscape for whatever reason right now in our society. That's right. But somebody's got to be the postman and go out and say, enough's enough. Let me bring some good news. And we'll be able to get our family and my life, my family, my company, my work, all my people in my community. Yes. I'm going to get my people out of this. Somebody's got to help move us forward. If not, we're never going to get out of it. It's going to cause us even more anxiety, more stress.
Now, some great things you can do. I think, you know, being a spiritual community, I think the local church could help you. Yes. You got to find a good local church, lock into because it could help elevate your faith a little bit more. I think you do need to stop following some people and start following some good people. Um you do got to surround yourself with the right voices, helps you make right choices. Uh, you watch your friendship circles. Don't be drawn in. Don't be drawn into the debates. Right. And whatever you have done, okay, with regards to COVID and vaccines, own it and deal with it. Don't be ashamed of it. No. Don't be embarrassed of it. Don't make apologies. Don't talk about it. Be who you are. This is what's so beautiful about our country. You get the you have the right to choose how you believe and how you feel and what you put in your body, what you don't, okay? That's it. That's it. And whatever's happened, so be it. Yes. Own it. Go forward. Don't try to defend it. Don't make excuses of it. Just go forward because you've got to get yourself out of that mess, that tangled web that's keeping you kind of locked into the corner of your home, and you're not able to go out and enjoy the life you should be living.
SPEAKER_01And the the the whole point to this is it is having a tangible negative effect on your body and on your mental health. I hate the term mental health because all of a sudden that's all we talk about. But the reality is it does affect you, spirit, soul, and body. You will, spirit is in your mind. And if you don't start getting a grip on it and following through by walking out the door of all this fear, it will have a lasting effect on your body, on your health. And you could have overcome COVID and done great with COVID, but because you're paralyzed in the fear and under the shadow of it, you can start having stomach problems, heart problems, all kinds of issues. Not a doctor, but I know that's true.
SPEAKER_03No, that's good, babe. And you mentioned health and weight earlier. Hey, that's a great thing to consider. Under control. After all that we've been through. That's right. It has affected those that have not been in their optimal, optimal weight. And I know round is a shape, but it's not the best shape for me in this uh season where so much of this stuff is out there that's going on. So take your health, make it a priority. It's another reminder. I've got the rest of this year to get healthy and stay away from foods that make me round and get foods that are in my body. And yeah, I may love to eat, but you know, I also love to live. So I life has to be a priority. You and I did something recently just to take control of our health. We put ourselves through a little IV uh therapy, which is intervenus, venous, venous interven You're saying it right.
SPEAKER_01Whatever. Right.
SPEAKER_03It's IV. Thank you. Intervenus.
SPEAKER_01That's it.
SPEAKER_03That's why they have a uh therapy where we're able to just go ahead and get some uh stuff washed out of our blood. Uh we're gonna have our whole staff, we're offering this for our whole staff so that they can get an immune booster to
clean themselves up from some of the junk that maybe's been in their body and give them a little bit more of a boost for to ward off any kind of flu or bugs that are coming their way.
SPEAKER_01Or just any the metals, the heavy metals in the middle of the way.
SPEAKER_03The heavy metals. So I'm doing all that because we're taking responsibility for ourselves and not being forced, stuff being forced on us by people we're not in relationship with. So hopefully today you've been able to learn something as it has encouraged you to also uh move forward and let COVID and vaccines and all that stuff just be something that's in the rearview mirror. But the best still awaits you. Martha's song, your sister's song. We still believe the best is yet to come. Why don't you believe it with us and be hope dealers and be the postman? Let's go forward. Thanks for joining us today.
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