Hello and welcome to another edition of the Family Business Podcast with the Alessis. And today it's Steve Alessi as well as Armando Gomez and Alan Paul. We're all guys hanging out here at the table. And uh since we're doing that, this is definitely one of
those episodes you're not going to see on Sundays because the women won't give us our due, our time. They they got to get in here with us. So this is gonna be something that we get to talk about here, that we don't always get to talk about on Sundays. And uh, since family is everybody's business, I'm glad that I can have three gentlemen or two gentlemen joining me today that are not here because they're just men. They are family men. They're men that understand the family and make the family a priority. And not only that, they are part of our family business because all three of us have our sons working with us here at the church. So uh good to have you. You want to greet everybody on the show.
SPEAKER_04It is great to be on the podcast again. And I love sitting here with you on uh the family business and AP, uh, this is gonna be fun. This is gonna be good. We're we're we're hoping that we can be wise guys today, right? That's good, yes, yeah, and tell the truth and have a have some laughs. So I'm just glad to be here. Thank you. Excellent.
SPEAKER_01AP and uh Pastor, it's always an honor to be behind the mic instead of behind the scenes. And uh again, I just feel like this is overdue sometimes. Like we just don't get a chance to talk as men, as guys, as fathers. Family, you've always led with the men not being ashamed of being the head. Let's go ahead and just start saying it right now, right? Let's go ahead and let's go ahead. Let's see if we don't get canceled today. That's that's that's that's a that's a really every podcast. Can we get canceled? Okay, should we get canceled? So we're gonna see if we can make Father's Day, you know, this could be the best podcast that ever comes out of ever comes out, at least within this calendar year.
SPEAKER_02That's good. Hey, I I will say we should we're we're gonna do one of these on location from our goodfellas camp location. Um, and that's good to be able to do it a little behind the scenes of what we do with the guys, but uh here's what I want to talk about then, okay.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_02Um, when we go up there, it's uh a guy thing that we always hold each other accountable to. And maybe you've heard us say it on the podcast before, but let's really flesh out the three Gs.
SPEAKER_04I love that.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_04I love that.
SPEAKER_02Put it in our notes, please. A P. That's a great teaser, right? There you go.
SPEAKER_01You don't if you don't know what the three G's are, you're going to have to subscribe and follow to find out what they are.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and this is really big. And what's interesting is the guys get together and they they know what two of the of the three G's are they don't understand the third, and I won't lay that out now, but you'll we'll we'll flesh that thing out because it'll be helpful. And if your uh wife or a young lady listening to our podcast today and the guy in your life does not listen to it, you have to get him locked into our family business podcast. And uh especially when the guys come together and talk about the three G's in a little bit. But today we felt like we needed to uh it is gonna be Father's Day coming up, and we needed to help the women and children, our offspring. We needed to help them understand Father's Day a little bit better. Um, so we we use certain uh by the way, before we do it, we use little uh nicknames around here. So P A is Pastor Armando, A P is Alan Paul, and we'll go with P S today. Just P S. Okay, and we can knock that one out, Pastor Steve, uh, so that we don't have to keep referring to Pastor, Pastor, Pastor. So if we if we're cool with that, all right. So um uh now, and you by the way, folks, you're welcome to address us as such when you do see us. So we we got it. I like PS like Pa. Pa. Hey, Paw. There you go. Pa squares. And that's what we're gonna get with AP right here. He takes it to stuff that I have no understanding of. I don't I never pick that stuff up in school. All right, so what the the title of our podcast today is Father's Day Explained. Nice dun dun dun dun. Here we go. And um what do you think, guys? Um what what does what just before we go too deep, a nutshell. What does our wife and kids
what do they need to know about Father's Day that we would like them to know?
SPEAKER_04Come on. We do like gifts, that's the first thing. Um, but we're never gonna tell you what we really want because usually we buy everything we really want. There you go. So uh if I wanted to pay for what they're gonna buy for us, exactly that is the number one thing.
SPEAKER_01Can we please go right to the why are you using my money? There you go to buy me my gift.
SPEAKER_04You work, if not, you can work. There's all kinds of weeds outside. You can pick some weeds, make some money. So um, so yeah, I mean, first of all, it shouldn't be underrated, it should be at the same level as Mother's Day. I don't know why Mother's Day comes first, but we I guess ladies first, right? We'll do that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Wow, my chauvinism shouldn't show too much because we're right. That is so ridiculous. So um crazy. But, anyways, it should be uh it should be right up there at that level, a lot of uh a lot of celebration, a lot of relaxation. And uh guys just like to chill. I don't think it's uh, at least for me, I don't think it's 27,000 people, big party, yay. Just relax, the grill, a pool, a couple friends. But more than anything, if nothing else, the family. Yeah. Even if it's just dinner. So that would be uh one maybe true statement for me about Father's Day.
SPEAKER_01That's good, AP. Um, I always go back to when my dad was, you know, we were trying to celebrate Father's Day from for my dad. There's the recliner, right? There's there's it's not really football season, so it's not really football, it might be baseball, something on the on the, you know, something to watch or whatever. And it was his day to just rest and be pampered, relaxed. And like you said, family. But it wasn't running around, it wasn't going sitting in a restaurant for hours waiting for. I mean, yes, we don't necessarily want to cook that day. That's true. You know, a lot maybe my my wife makes a great meal or something like that at home, but going out to the restaurant, it's about me or my dad or whoever it is, and the dad in your life being like giving him his space, giving him an honored seat, right? I think about the recliner. That's why I thought about the recliner, a seat of honor. And, you know, I always should have a seat of honor, but specifically on that day, I'm just saying.
SPEAKER_04They sold that recliner on offering.
SPEAKER_01Chris for Marcus Naomi, just you know, just so you're watching, okay? Yeah. But uh it really does kind of remind, because we don't really, we don't honor ourselves often, really ever, honestly. We don't really talk about, hey, you know, even though I should be respected, I don't take it. I don't say, hey, remind everybody I'm boss, I should be here. Let everyone know that in in your family that I that you do love me, that you do respect me, that you do honor me. And then just give me that place to kind of like just enjoy seeing you guys enjoy it, seeing the blessings, and I see you enjoy it. Yes, you know, buy me the socks, sure, whatever, you know, whatever it is, the tie. That's not like you said, it's not about the gifts, it's more about like feeling and understanding that I I that you guys appreciate what I do. That's really all I asked for that day.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, yeah. Well, I like the conversation about gifts. So I I do think we have to be fair with with this, because uh, I think our family could use our help in getting us gifts, meaning
uh what do we want that we can ask their help for? I'll tell you right now, I um there's certain things that my um my young adult kids, they have uh a better understanding of certain things that are fashionable right now, and my tastes are not the same as their tastes. And I know that as a father, they like it when my tastes are recognized by others and that I don't look too ancient. That's a good way to put it, okay? Even though my my old stuff is probably now new stuff to them and they like it. But anyhow, my um we need to help them. Yeah, we we need to help them. What what do you think about helping your kids? Like like I'll tell mine, hey, I give me some shoes. I need help with some shoes, so give me some shoes.
SPEAKER_04For me, I maybe I'm a little different in this. I love the surprise, and and I'd rather it be something they thought of. Good. I don't even care if it's weird or or just something they thought of. Dad, I think dad would really like this. Now we have four, I have four boys. So Anna and I have four boys from 16 to 27. And these guys know what guys like, right? They're they're already young adult men. So I love when they just come up with something that that they they thought of, and dad might really like this, and I'll probably find a use for it. I don't want the standards. I actually don't want, yeah, I'm okay with socks, but I don't want to tie. I don't I have always hated you. You need help with your socks. I know, but I'm that's help, let's help you help. Okay, well, that's champion's not bad. Okay, but I'm cross Nova work. I'm cross-works. Whatever when you when you cross brand, cross-branding. I have Nike, I have Nike and champion. As you can see, I am hip. So um, but the idea is something you thought of. So it's like when I hear, but you never tell us what you want. It's like, well, I want you to think of anything. I don't care what it is, just give me a surprise because I love surprises.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it goes into the thought behind it. Um, I'm also one of those that I don't like to say it. And okay, let me just go ahead and put my I'm doing a lot of like my therapy here for my dad. You can see I have a lot of Father's Day, a Father's Day past. So I was the one that tried to surprise my dad and get him the thing that he wants. And you know, my father is like, you know, he takes a look at it. Next thing you know, I see then the return box to go back. So like I've got a lot of like, you know, things. I don't really push for my kids to give me stuff either because I didn't want to feel that I don't want to feel what I felt. Right. But like, yeah, sure. And then you'll find it in the box later. Um, I I do like when my kids think about what they're going to give me. They just they they think ahead. Now they're older, they can actually, you know, yeah, you know, make a purchase and actually look at my daughter's really good about that. Um, I like that idea. I don't drop hints. I don't drop hints. Now, my wife, of course, is the hint maker. So, like you, uh like I don't I think I'm good with socks, I think I'm good with my, but apparently I'm not. Yeah. So when the things show up, I find out what my style is. Yes. So as you mentioned, I have been, I have been up, I keep getting updated, and it's like, oh, I didn't know I needed this. Yeah. But I guess I do. So I I like that. I like the fact that they do want me to look good, they do want me to feel good. And so there are things that they've gotten me for my music career, things will show up. Um, and I'll be like, Yeah, I guess I did mention that six months ago. That's true. And and yes, and they know that those things, even though I, you know, I try not to think of business all the time, they know I do.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So a lot of times they'll get me the thing that will help me in my business, the things that's not necessarily feel good, but it's gonna, I'm gonna use it. Yeah, and since I'm gonna use it, every time I use it, I say, wow, my kids actually saw what dad's all about. So they know like I don't just want like the cute little card, I want the the USB, you know, the new thingy. Practical, something like that. Right. Something that's actually gonna actually use it. Yeah, so that but yes, for me, it's absolutely, yeah, get me the thing I'm gonna use for work because that's what that's what I'm actually thinking about whenever I I finish Father's Day.
SPEAKER_02The thing we don't want them doing is having to look at us and getting something that we don't know we need. Nose hair trimmers. Oh gosh. I had to tell my kids. No, no, I had to tell my kids, Christmas. I want something in my my my stocking. I want nose hair trimmers. Wow.
unknownThat's great.
SPEAKER_02I pluck, man. I play. I like to get in there. Actually, I don't pluck. I just I'd like to get in there. You gotta get it. It drives me nuts that I I walk up next to guys. I'm like, dude, somebody needs to take care of the forest in your ears. The forest. Are we all in 4K?
SPEAKER_01You guys want to be sure before we step next time?
SPEAKER_02So so we we do agree. Um, I guess we need to give them if this is good, if we're not gonna be upset with them for not really treating us right on Father's Day, we need to help them with some things. So
here's what we want to say: we want gifts. Yes, yes, and we want you to pay for the gifts that you get us.
SPEAKER_04Dads, good.
SPEAKER_02We want gifts, we want gifts.
SPEAKER_04Put it in the comments. Put your gift in the comment. Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Oh, and then have your family watch the watch the podcast and look at the comments. You're welcome. Guess again.
unknownYou're welcome.
SPEAKER_01I mean, we just did all the work for them.
SPEAKER_04Like no, and we'll probably get nothing.
SPEAKER_02And they're all gonna get it. No, that's good. That's good. I got a I got a feeling the original intent of our founding fathers.
SPEAKER_04Founding fathers. There you go. Wow.
SPEAKER_02Came up with this whole thing about Father's Day.
SPEAKER_01Okay, they gave us a country. You know, now you know I I'm the I'm the as the producer and the the resident nerd of the uh of the historian. The historian. Yeah, thank you. It's so much better. I did do a uh quick uh research project via Wikipedia. Wow, so half of it's wrong. I know, right? But um of course, the first thing it said was uh Father's Day was done, created in the late 1900s, 1800s, whatever, in response to Mother's Day. I was like, really? That's the first line. So wherever's Wikipedia was obviously I don't think it was a father that wrote the Wikipedia episode, Wikipedia article, because it starts with that. But um it was a it was in terms of honoring a single father in the Civil War with six kids. So, all right, let's already say number one for all the dads who are doing this on their own, right? There are we're not just talking about dads that are married, we got we got divorced dads, we got single dads, we got all kinds of dads. I mean, we want to honor every kind of father. Father figures, you know, the ones that have to step in whenever the the there's there's there's there's been a break in the family. So I think that's number one is really cool that we're talking about a time in history that it was not easy. Men had to be men. Yeah. Like we had 16-year-olds and 15-year-olds going out to war those days, right? So it's really cool that that does come from a time that, you know, father, fatherhood really meant something. And I think now, as we all know, it's we have to fight. You have to fight to be a dad. You have to fight the culture to stand up for your children. Absolutely. So yeah, I think that's number one. And then number- So what are you saying?
SPEAKER_02We shouldn't make this about gifts now.
SPEAKER_01Uh, it should be about gifts. We don't make about gifts. I think we should make more uh we should be even more appreciated because of that. But now to go to like what you said, the founding intent, I feel like it really does come back to what does the dad want for the day to be? That's the key of the founding, the origination of it. Like it shouldn't start with, well, we did this for mom, so we gotta do this for dad. You like, you know what I mean? Like it comes to this, like us, like I just said, from the history of it, the comparison. Like, okay, well, if mom does this, then dad gets this. It's like, that's not really how it works. Right. It's it's it's more, you know, what makes me feel honored versus okay, well, you know, the kids do this and mom does this, and so no, try to make it special for me and think about my needs, think about what makes me, you know, feel good as a dad versus, well, we did it for mom, so we gotta do it for dad. Yeah. Because that's not gonna be the same.
SPEAKER_02But that's gonna be the result. It's not much we're trying. We're trying, good job, but that will be what happens exactly. So let me ask you uh, are you
uh eat at home kind of guy for Father's Day? Um, or are you out eat at a restaurant for Father's Day? Hey, P, help me out first.
SPEAKER_01Oh, well, it's gotta be home. Really? I mean, my wife, yeah. I mean, the the kind of she there's no restaurant. Number one, it's cheaper. Number two, but number two, the love, the the fact that we can have whatever we want, um, that she can make anything that I can think of. I mean, yeah, it's gotta hands down, it's gotta be home. Got it home.
SPEAKER_04Same here. Eat at home. Uh, don't need to be at in a line at a restaurant or whatever. Yeah, like there's lines on Father's Day at restaurants. But so true. Like you walk right into whatever. Which of the 20 tables that are available would you like to sit in? Um, but no, I like home because it's it's it's relaxed. And um, I prefer though nobody cooks, unless Anna wants to make something special. But I like maybe getting it at a at a Cuban place and where they cook the homemade, like a comida por livra kind of place where you buy the food already made. Um, I like that. Nobody has to, nobody has to prepare, everybody can just relax. And then I think the other thing that that adds to is just know that we are okay with that. Like when we're sitting home, you don't have to be thinking, man, are do we do enough? Is he is he really happy there, nodding off in that chair, almost half asleep? Yes, it's perfect, nothing else has to be added, nobody else has to come over. It's all good. I just want the day to be with the boys and my wife, and and and it's just great. So for me, it's home 100%.
SPEAKER_02I like restaurants. And the reason I like the restaurant is being served. So when we're at home, I hate seeing Mary get up and have to handle things, which she does all the time and she enjoys it, and the girls get involved. When we go to a restaurant, it's we're being served and we're just being taken care of, and whatever we want, we're able to be, you know, catered to in that environment. However, I do think Father's Day it needs to be if we're gonna give it a day, then let's do a 24-hour deal. I love it. Even though I'd love the weekend, but if we're gonna do a 24-hour deal, then I think here's what they need to do. Saturday at about six o'clock. All right. Yeah, do the meal at home. Give me a meal at home. Let's all hang out Saturday evening, let the 24-hour clock start right there. Cook out, bring in food, whatever. Let's do something at home. Hang out, go in the backyard, whatever that's gonna look like, okay? Give me that, and then hit the hey, get up next day, we're gonna be in church. Go to church. It's beautiful, all right? And then after church on Sunday,
let's go to a restaurant. Let's go to a restaurant. Get the best of both worlds. Yeah, and then by the time we get home, we're chilled, take our nap, whatever, we can lounge. And if you're off the clock at six, you can go back. Oh no, they gotta go all the way. No, no, it's a way it's obedient.
SPEAKER_04Six extra hours with pajamas on for me. Yeah. And you know, what is more weekend than men? Men do all kinds of stuff on weekends, right? Fishing and golfing and all that. I guess ladies do too, but we're talking about Father's Day. So why not get the weekend? Like, I know you went with the 24 hours, I like it. If we got 24 hours, pushing it back to Friday. Like, listen, Friday, but I'm thinking the entire Father's Day weekend would be incredible because then you have the evening of Friday. That could be like a party night, you know, have friends over or hang out with other, not other dads, other families, right? And then Saturday we do what you did, but the day of Saturday is yours. Like Saturday, and I say yours because, like, for example, my house, I have the garage, and I barely have the garage. Like every other room does not belong to me. The mortgage payment is for all the house, but all I get is the garage. So, what I'm thinking about Saturday is we get to just choose what we want to do, even if it's with the guys, some guys during the day in the morning. Some dads go hit a little golf, um, whatever you want to do, right? Go fishing with the boys, even if the wife's coming along, whatever you want to do, but that's Saturday day. Then we go into the that that evening part where I love it all. I say we go with the weekend, Father's Day weekend. I think we have plenty of time in 2022. Okay, because really everybody makes so much about moms, but without dads, there wouldn't be moms, right? And without moms, there wouldn't be dads. Okay. No, this is a true statement, right? Without without men, there wouldn't be children. Without women, there wouldn't be children. We're like equal in this thing.
SPEAKER_03Okay.
SPEAKER_04So why don't we just go for the whole weekend, Father's? You guys are looking at me like you better go.
SPEAKER_02100% AP and P S are all into PA be like that right now.
SPEAKER_01Love it. Okay.
SPEAKER_04This one. This one right now.
SPEAKER_01And you? I I agree 100%. I feel like one of the biggest things with that whole day, right? Father's Day, is we are trying to capture all of this appreciation. And you mentioned, you know, we're all gonna be a church, right? So we're really talking about, you know, we're being appreciated at church. We do an amazing job with our fathers at church, but for actual family, we're talking about like what, two to what, maybe 10? So maybe eight hours. That's not enough. Like actual eight hours, maybe. Of actual time with my family on Sunday, and I'm gassed usually on ministry day, right? So I'm pretty gassed. That after church nap is like, what do you want to do, Dad? Oh no, just give me a second. I'm so so I'm I'm trying to gear myself up to be there for my family on Sunday. Like I'm literally trying, and it is a weird thing to say because
I mean, ministry, we love it. Sure. There is a day, there is that moment after that, after you get home for service, you're like, man, like I I need to be like focused in on my kids because they're trying to love on me. And I'm just like, yeah, that's that's a bad look, right? So Saturday, I love it. The fact that Friday and Saturday is where I can be totally present for my kids so that they can like appreciate me and I can really be appreciating what they're doing. My wife, same thing. I love the idea of like getting in um my my spot as my office, but again, whatever it is, you know, wherever that place is, that I can just like feel like I'm I'm at home, I'm enjoying myself, I'm not being pressured by outside, anything else. So Friday, Saturday, I'm absolutely with it. I think there need to be a change.org petition, whatever we got to do. Uh, you know, just send it up the chain and let's just make it a Father's Day week.
SPEAKER_04Wives and kids gotta take note right now. It's happening.
SPEAKER_02So another issue. Uh can they have their phones on that day or not? Do we ask them to uh put it in a plastic bag and shut it down?
SPEAKER_01I've found this is this I this has been a struggle for me, okay? I'm gonna because I know I've had that same conversation of why are you talking to X person or why are the why is the meme more funny than what I just said? Why is the meme more funny than me? I'm the funniest one.
SPEAKER_04Well, that could be an obvious question.
SPEAKER_01Well, I know, but thanks, PA. Like I was trying to, you know, just buried me there, okay? But uh he's proud of himself. But exactly come on, dad jokes. You put it right there. I know that's true. You're welcome. So I really feel like the the dynamic past PA P S has changed. I gotta get used to it. It has changed where a lot of that they're their their their way of communicating is on the phones and they're capturing the moments and they're saying, Dad, look, and this, and it's I so want to say, no, no, no, no, talk to me, put it down. I've been back and forth with it. I've been like, okay, we'll allow the phones because, in a sense, we're still together. It's weird, but I I really monitor this, but I don't feel like they're being disrespectful because usually what they're doing with the phone is something with the family around the phones. And if my wife is involved too, right? And it's like, okay, let me decide here. Am I going to put my foot down and be the guy to say, no, no, no, we're gonna, you know, and I would love to maybe it's another digital device, maybe it's watching TV together.
SPEAKER_02So what you're saying is you're caving.
unknownOh gosh.
SPEAKER_04Well, how about how about dad is the gauge? If dad picks up the phone, because dad wants to chill a little bit with his phone, then everybody can pick up the phone. The moment dad puts down the phone, oh, we're talking control now, right? Oh, the moment dad puts down the phone. They gotta be watching. You gotta be like watching watching. Because look, you a board game is always cool, right? Puzzles are cool. Going outside, throwing a frisbee, throwing a ball around is cool. It doesn't matter how you don't have to have young, young kids for that.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_04So maybe when when that moment for the phones, because uh it might be extreme to take take the phones away for a weekend.
SPEAKER_02Plus, maybe no, that's not the point. I I think around the dinner table. If we're hanging out around the dinner table, yes, okay, I agree with that. Um, like you said, sometimes the phone can be an interruption. And especially, and I here's where I think we should maybe draw the line and help help our family understand when it starts to aggravate us. It's when they're doing it um on social media. It's when you're with me at the table, but yet you're looking at people who's not around the table, that's not paying for the lunch, not going through this experience, didn't cook the food. Didn't give you life, didn't you go over and you start checking out somebody that's you know, in another state and something disconnected. And now all of a sudden it drives the conversation over to somebody that I don't care, I don't know, I don't know to care. So that's where it gets intrusive, which I think it it could be respectful if we say, all right, just stay off the social media. Maybe that's the your friends
want to text you, as long as it's not a life or death situation and we're around the table, don't pick it up. Now that's that's a that's a real practice in self-control. That's true. And you gotta, if you're gonna do that, you gotta put the the phone away from you because it's instinctual that while we're talking to just go and look. Take a look. And then, you know, my kids catch it at this point. They do catch it and they try their best. My kids in their 30s and 20s, they catch it because they know they want to re even be in the moment now because they've been around people that are doing the same thing and they're feeling like wow.
SPEAKER_04You know, Pastor, when you say that, it brings the word attention. Dads want attention. Yes. Like we're I don't want to say it like little boys for that sense, but we do want to be regarded for who we are in their lives, and it's just about attention. And if you're giving your attention to your phone or whatever else, then you're not paying attention to me. And we're not, we can't be selfish the whole year. It's all about me, it's all about dad, it's my chair at the table. It's no, but how about on that weekend? Because it's already a weekend, right? We're getting the attention. How much uh how bad is that? Our kids get the attention all the time, our wives get a lot of attention from us. Dads get the attention for that entire weekend, whenever they need the attention, almost like if we were sick in bed and they got to come to us with a little soup. Well, now we're not sick, we're having a great time on Father's Day, but you're paying attention to what dad needs. Right.
SPEAKER_01I think, yeah, absolutely. I I would add to that that the attention and the respect, all that stuff that we talk about, you just kind of said, like, well, we're it's not like little boys, right? No, it's not that kind of begging, right? Hey, I need this. It's more of um, if you see me, if you truly see who I am and what I am, then you know that my heart is really to serve you guys. Yeah. Always. It's always about that. So, like I said before, like it's not really like trying to see the hints and things like that. It's more that if you know my heart is always to serve you guys and my family, then when you turn around and do it for me, you put your phone down, you I see the sacrifice, it's like mutual. You you recognize it by creating this the same environment I'm trying to create for you where you have less distractions, less stress. I take care of this thing, I take care of that. Now you turn around and do the same thing for me and sacrifice and make my environment just for a couple of days the same way I'm trying to make your stress be the same way. So that's where I see it. It's like not like, oh, please make daddy, you know, make daddy feel good. Like, no, that's never been our attitude. But I do think it is a matter of, hey, because we are, you know, it's reciprocal. I'm trying to make life better for you. So making life better for me by putting your phone down, by making me the center of attention for a couple hours. That does, it does. It does something for your ego, it does something for your entire family. It builds it up.
SPEAKER_04Hey, P, that's biblical, right? Not to go too deep. We serve God and He is pleased. He doesn't need anything from us, He's not looking for anything from us. He He is all powerful, almighty. Yep. But here we are coming back to our Father, giving thanks, giving praise, giving worship. And he is pleased by it, and that pleases us. Yeah. So really, our family. Well, I I don't know that we want it to go so deep, but our family is going to be pleased because we're pleased. It's going to be that simple. And it is a biblical thing. It is a is it is a here thing, so it should be a here thing too. So I I think it's I think it's fair. I think it's all good with that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and that that's good because there's there's real validity to the whole honor system. And that's something we're teaching our sons, by the way, and our our daughters. When we're doing this, we're not just doing this for selfish gain. We're teaching our kids how to really honor the father figure in their life, um, which is important, which I would then say, and fortunately, all three of us are married, we have healthy marriages. Our wives need to help our kids understand this. We can't be the only ones that are beating this drum. They need to be able to come to the table and say, Hey kids, this is what we're gonna do for your dad. Because our our wives are our wives, right? All right, they're they're they're not our moms, and they're definitely not our daughters. Okay, so they're not even the ones that should be serving us on Father's Day. Our kids are responsible for this. I have to say to my kids on Mother's Day, she's not my mom. I have my mom. I'm gonna take care of my mom, and my wife's gonna help me take care of my mom, and my wife's mom is gonna be honored by Mary and I. But on Mother's Day, Mary's gotta be honored by her kids. On Father's Day, we need to be honored by our kids that we're the father, too. So our wives may have to help play a little interference here and make sure the kids are getting this and have a good conversation, just explaining why this is so important to your dad. Make the time and and also be sensitive to this. Um, your son is married, so his wife has a father, yes, and uh my two of my kids are married, so both of their spouses have fathers. So I have to be ready to share this weekend, right? Okay, it can't just be about me. I gotta be sensitive to Muena's father, good manny. I gotta be sensitive to to Rochelle's father in her life. I I I've got to realize that my kids, my son, my daughter are I gotta share some time with them uh during this weekend. And so I then, when it comes to planning and strategizing, just be a little bit more fluid. Okay. Yeah. And most likely in our household, it's gonna be Sunday uh somewhere after church, since we're all together, we're gonna go ahead and do the deal. And probably Sunday night they'll share later on, or cut lunch
short and they'll finish lunch uh over with the other. So those are just some other issues we need to be thinking of in terms of how to help our family honor us on Father's Day and how we prepare ourselves. Now, one last thing, and we'll start to bring this thing in for a close. Uh Mondo lost his dad at uh 21. 21 years old. Your father passed away, taken way too soon from you. And that's gonna put a little tear in your eye around the table because you you can't get over a hurt like that that uh was taken. Um you miss him. Yep.
SPEAKER_04I do, but he blessed you. He blessed me. He's a good man, and I have uh great memories of my father.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, what did he teach you the most?
SPEAKER_04To be he was a patient man, to to not not make mountains out of molehills, um, to love family. He was a very good family man. He was the one taking us to his sister's house, our aunt, or having gatherings with extended family. So he was a very family man. Um, and he taught me to to really take things in stride, not not to get over excited about too many things that life is good and hard work, very hard worker. And um, so I mean, that's that's all the things I can remember in in a yeah, in kind of a bubble. So he taught me those things. Yeah, and uh, and the love of a father. He was he was I was so favored by him. And I mean, some of it was spoiled, I'll I'll give you 100%. Yeah. Um, but I was so favored because I have two older sisters and I was the youngest. So he just, I mean, it gave me a great picture of how God, now that I know the father relationship, the heavenly father relationship, that's the picture I have of my father in heaven. Because he lets some things slide and he wants us to get it right, and he'll always want us to get it right, but he's not not up there like the original God I knew, which was he's up there with a bat and we'll just smack you. Yep, he's a very graceful, loving father that's gonna walk you in the right direction.
SPEAKER_02And you wish he was around today to celebrate Father's Day with him, right?
SPEAKER_04Because he didn't meet my wife, he didn't meet my four boys. Yeah, he, oh man, he loved my my sister's four boys. He did, you know, hang with most of them. And uh so he was just so excited about those grandkids. Yeah, and he poured a lot of love into the two older ones, especially. But my family, he never he never even met Anna. So I was 21 when he died. I met Anna in 23, 24 years old. So I think that that's what you miss the most. Um, but you come to a day where he's been he's been gone longer than I even had him in my life. So hold on to the memories now. I guess the best advice I would give is hold on to the memories now, make a bunch of them because one day you gotta you gotta have something that you remember, and you're not gonna remember all the bad stuff. Uh, there was very little bad stuff with my dad for me. I remember some poignant moments or some themes like fishing and the keys and the some big things like that that were constants with him and his smile and his eyes, you know. So make those memories.
SPEAKER_02And that's why I asked that question. Guys, take advantage of this time with your dad. You don't want to miss out on that. AP, your dad's around, beautiful man.
SPEAKER_01Just uh I my memories of Father's Day always goes around again. That work ethic that you just mentioned, the fun. When my dad let us my dad let his hair dial say hair, what hair? My dad never had any hair up there. I always remember like, you know, the ball spot. No way. But um my dad really, when he relaxed, he was relaxed.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01When when he when he still now again, you know, in his 70s, nearing his 80s, um, I just feel that same kind of pride that you just mentioned for my dad. And I always feel like, again, like I never make him like super happy on those days. I always feel like I'm still trying to prove myself with the gifts, like, what am I gonna get you? What he really wants is that time. And I will say, for his birthday, not necessarily father's year, but for his birthday, when we went up um in October and surprised him for his 75th, and the look on his face when me and Marcus walked in the door. Gosh, we can't keep anything from him. He is one of those guys that knows everything. He's got his pulse on everything. Nothing happens without my father knowing. And when my my mother was able to get us uh to fly in, we were able to kind of you know, sneak in, didn't know. And the look on his face, he he tried to hide it. He tried, he tried to hello, you know, hey guys, like he expected. You didn't expect us, dad. We got you. So that's what I really feel like the father's day should be about. It should be those moments where you catch your dad and you say, you know what? Yeah, you think you had it all under control, but really what we're here to do is make you feel blessed and honored on that moment. And then again, making those moments special. Um, my kids are doing it for me now. Again, it's it's it's a it's that blessing when we see them grow up. And now, yeah, I don't have to use my money to give it to you so you can give it back to me and give me the socks. Now I see that my what I did, it worked. Your father's influence, it worked, and those four boys is working, and now your next generation and the generation after that coming. Like you see the the the fruits of your labor, and you're like, wow, this really, this really does feel like God is really smiling on my fatherhood. Even though half of it, when we start, not half of us, almost all of us, when we started, we had no idea how it was going to turn out. We just start putting our hand to the plow and trying to work it out and being a good dad.
SPEAKER_02Well, my dad's this will be the second year of Father's Day, he's not around. So we lost him in 2020. But I'll tell you, every morning I see him in the mirror. It's so crazy. It's so crazy. The things I ran from because I didn't want to be like him are the things that now I so appreciate. And I wouldn't be who I am today without his uh influence and my life and the love for the ministry and God and the house of God in the church. It's all something that I'm he he was able to pass down. Um, I want to say as we bring this to a close, if we had to vote for a father of the year in our world right now, meaning in our metro world, uh, I I have a guy I think would be great. I think his name is Jeff Childers. You ever see the way this guy takes care of his voice? Oh man. He I think he'd be Father of the Year. And I want to give a shout out to a new father and wish him happy Father's Day on this particular Father's Day. It'll be a first time he'll occupy that position. And that is Chris Muina, my son-in-law, as he and Stephanie have given us our first grandchild. So he's a dad. And happy Father's Day to you, Muina, and all the other wonderful dads that make up the lives. Guys, we're blessed. We know some great men. Yes, yes, yes, older and younger, men that are fathers, men that are gonna be fathers, and we get the privilege of raising them up and helping them be better. Yeah, and so for all wait, wait, wait.
SPEAKER_04And let's give honor where honor is due. And I don't know if we got 30 seconds or a minute, but whatever it is, we got to take it to say, first of all, you've just reached that next level of fatherhood, which is grandfatherhood, yeah, which is surreal. Take it on my father's name. Taking on Papa. I saw it on that t-shirt. Take it on papa. Yeah, I did the same live. My dad's it was Lolo. Lolo, yeah, right. But you've helped father in many ways a lot of people, especially I've been here a long, long time, 25 years, but a lot of men in this church.
SPEAKER_02You've known me longer than you knew your dad.
unknownWow.
SPEAKER_04I never thought about that. I've known you longer than I've known my dad. Anyway, to finish that thought, you've you've fathered me in many ways. And um, and that was a unique position that God put me in that I needed. Um, but you've fathered the the men and women of this house very, very, very well. You've fathered Metro Life Church. Metro Life Church did not exist before you, right? Um, so happy Father's Day to you whenever that comes in June. And um, but you you've done really, really well and and you've blessed my life. I know AP would say the same thing to you. And I think everybody watching would would be um would would would take this moment to say, God bless you. Thank you. All the best. May God continue to further your legacy because we're all part of it. So thank you. All right.
SPEAKER_02Love you guys. Thanks for joining me around the table today. Appreciate it. And I hope you have enjoyed, there we go. Hope you have enjoyed another episode of the Family Business with PS, PA, and AP.
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