Hello, and welcome to another episode of the family business with the Alessis. And today I am joined by Gabrielle Alesi. Hello, everybody. She's the baby of the family. Yes. And then I'm joined by Christopher Alese.
SPEAKER_01Yay.
SPEAKER_03The other baby of the family. The big boy of the family. So I have my oldest and my youngest and start. What are we going to be talking about today, guys? I needed to pull you in because I need help with this subject. Today we're talking about social media. Social media. You may want to pull up your mic a little bit more.
SPEAKER_02Being a little balanced with it. There's a lot of imbalance going on with social media today. From we could have massive convos, but today we want to have a conversation about balancing it. And from the youth's perspective, it's really great to have somebody who's working weekly with so many youth talk about it because it's it's a big deal.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, it's huge.
SPEAKER_03Okay. So let me ask you something. What's the big social media platform today?
I feel like it's different. I feel like for us it's Instagram. I feel like for anybody that ages end in teen, it's TikTok.
SPEAKER_03It is, right?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03So back in my generation, it was that's awesome. It was board on the street. Actually, it was MySpace. Yeah. And then Facebook came along. And then from Facebook, Instagram, by the way, do you know what MySpace even is?
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I remember MySpace.
SPEAKER_03Cool.
SPEAKER_02I saw something recently. Somebody said, you know what would be so cool if you could rank your friends on Instagram and TikTok. And then it'd be awesome if every time they came on your page, a song played. And I'm like, this is what MySpace had.
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_03So then it went from Facebook to Instagram and now Instagram to TikTok.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. It kind of went Instagram, it went Facebook, Twitter, Instagram.
SPEAKER_03Thank you.
SPEAKER_00Twitter and Instagram were kind of running at the same time.
SPEAKER_02Can't forget Snapchat. And all of these have found ways to parcel off their role in, you know, they still all have a piece of the pie, but the two the two heads right now are probably, I guess, the three head monster is still Twitter, Instagram, and TikTok.
Yeah. So here's here's my thing. I hate it. I hate it in the sense that um what it's exposing young people to today. I I'm not crazy about it in the sense that we could be sitting right here at this table and you feel compelled to go in the middle of a work environment, scroll your social media page, and you can do that at dinner. You'll be on vacation, spending a lot of money with your kids, and all of a sudden your kids are halfway across the world because now they're checking out something on social media. So that's where I personally do not like it. However, what I'm seeing is um it is it's a place where people live.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And if you want to communicate with people from a work perspective and from our business, we have to be where they're at. We can't wait for them to come to us. So there's a little bit more grace that I'm sensing that needs to be had towards this, but uh it comes down to boundaries. And, you know, I'm on one extreme, I'm hardly ever on it. Yeah. Uh I don't know where y'all are at.
SPEAKER_02Well, I'll tell you this. I feel like social media has become that Mustang that probably would make your life so much better, but you'd have to break it first. You know how they talk about breaking a horse in. You got to get the wild out of it.
SPEAKER_03I'm thinking you're talking about a car.
SPEAKER_02No. The horse. The horse. You'd have to break it in. And I remember in you know, the first episode of Yellowstone, his son is trying to, you know, break that horse that that won't break. Um, that's probably what social media is. And I think, I think there's a lot of value to the idea of it, to the system of it, to the process of it. I think there is a grace for it, but it's got to be handled from an extreme place first. We've got to break it first before we could ever get back to a place where it's a net positive. So for me, I love using it from some of my hobbies. Uh, my entire popular page right now is sports, church, and gardening stuff. That's really all it is for me. But I'm actually not on it. I don't post. I don't really, you know, as a pastor and a guy who thinks a lot, I kind of keep it around to maybe help with books, but I don't, I don't enjoy personally using it anymore. That's where I'm at. Where you know.
SPEAKER_00I'm a I I feel like I'm a little bit balanced, but I just recently I'm balanced because I did start to notice an attachment. I don't want to say an addiction, it but but there was a big pull that I had to it that any downtime I had, I picked it up.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And and it's funny because in the throughout the day I'd look back and think I wasn't on it a lot. And it wasn't until I went into my screen time and I looked up how many times when I because you know how your phone does pickups, and how many times I would pick up my phone, open it, and the first thing I would do was look at my Instagram. It was like a hundred in a day.
SPEAKER_03What were you looking for?
SPEAKER_00Nothing. So this is this is what I've noticed with Instagram. It is or all social media, it's just kind of a place where you can turn your brain off and you can look at other people, but then you're not turning your brain off. You're actually just filling your life with more noise. And I even found myself doing it last night where when I was going to my room or even going to bed, you kind of want to distract yourself and kind of not, you want to go somewhere else in your brain. But what you're doing is you're not opening your life up to just either quiet time, you're not opening your brain, giving your brain time to power down. Um, a lot of people have sleep problems nowadays. I can't sleep because of the thoughts that are running through my head. I wonder if you sat down all those people and say, what's the last thing you look at before you go to sleep?
Because it's one of those things you go to for just busyness.
SPEAKER_02Well, here's the thing. So uh you think that when you get on social media, you can turn your brain off. But the reason that those pickups happen, and that's the thing that scares me about my own thing, is I don't even like using it. And I'll be with Rochelle and I'm like on it, and like, how did I get here?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02This is I wasn't even trying to do this. And it's because in the habit forming process, when you're trying to form a habit, your brain looks to the things that bring it enjoyment. So the dopamine stuff. And then it tries to say, how do we get from a place of no dopamine to dopamine as fast as possible? So for instance, like I've never had to cut a mango before. So I took like 20 minutes to learn to look at this thing. How in the world do I cut this mango? Meanwhile, if I threw you an orange and said, hey, have it, you wouldn't even think about it. You'd just start peeling that thing away or a banana. Why? Because your brain has formed the habit where you don't have to think about it anymore. But that's in that's in order to get it what it wants. So the reason that we pick it up and do it is because our brain has formed the quickest A to B path from no dopamine to dopamine. And that's what's at you're actually stimulating your brain. And your brain likes that and it doesn't recognize that it's exhausting, that it actually has a negative effect. So the reason we pick it up like that without even thinking about it, and our thumb just opens it up, it's because our brain has formed the quickest possible path from you know it's a hit.
SPEAKER_03It's a hit, it really is. It's funny because the we we just came back from a big week at the farm with our women at Womanity Camp, and we've been busy. And so we all get back after I'm talking Sunday to more or less Sunday, we're running and gunning. That's a full seven, almost eight days of killing it. All right. And our staff, all of us, you know, we have a couple of days off during the week. Friday is our day off, which is really, we still get work done. And Saturday is like the only chill day that you're supposed to have, right? But our staff and all of us just go right through those two days. So we have to supplement it. So we say, okay, take off Monday. And so first thing I said to mom was, all right, baby, let's not, let's keep an eye on Gabby. Lauren's out of town, she had to take care of something. So we're all three alone at the house. And I said, okay, let's let's just keep an eye on Gabby. Let's not, let's not, let's try to keep her off of social media because I know where her brain is going to go. Because when I come back from camp, I'm give me a day down, and I'm like, I can go to a dark place. And every night, when the the day after I'm at camp, that evening is the hardest for me because I of just the emotional low that comes, and I'm struggling with where my brain, my thought is, where I'm going next. So that's a struggle for me, and I'm afraid that it happens with others when we go and we just get depleted emotionally. So we sit down that day, and mom says, okay, we're gonna watch um uh UFOs, we're gonna watch the science TV on USO UFOs, so we don't have to get our brain engaged in anything. And sure enough, we are, and halfway through we're snoring, you know, we're trying to recoup. It's it's like just downtime, dumb time, let it go. And uh that was okay. But before long, mom and Gabby, they're on their social media, yeah. And now we're talking about this person, we're talking about that person, and it's like, no, that's what we don't want to do in this environment right now. We need to let our brain relax. When do you let your brain relax these days? You don't because it's made up by what's happening with social media. So that's the downside that I see to social media. I see that it does not allow you to just relax. You you can't even, you can't even right now sit in a movie theater or watch a movie without you thinking, let me pick up my phone and just check.
SPEAKER_02It's hard to let someone else talk. It's hard to sit down and let somebody else talk without wanting to pick your phone up and spend that time listening and being on social. It's hard to sit in traffic without wanting to pull your phone out and just scroll. Because you know, I mean, you feel like I can kind of do this multitask thing. And you know, I here here's the way I've been thinking about it. Uh, every sitcom ever, everyone, because I've watched all of them, I'm kidding. Every sitcom ever has some type of scene, sometimes a full episode or a character who's dumb enough to look at a fake plate of fruit and think it's real, and they try to eat it. It happens in every sitcom. There's a scene where they like pick up, oh, that's fake. Oh gosh, I didn't know. I kind of feel like that's the world with social media right now, is that everyone's looking at this fake plate of food and we're all trying to eat it like, yeah, this is legit because it looks good and it looks like fruit, but it's inedible.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And the the realities of what is happening, I mean, we're even finding out now that our phones have more radiation and give off more radiation than we think. I mean, we are trying to force something down our throats that's really just it's not, it's not edible. So mom sent you that uh yeah, she sent me that video too through social media. And I'm I'm watching it, I'm watching it and I'm thinking, oh I'm so glad that this exists to give me this information.
SPEAKER_00I'm burning killing me. Oh my God. You know what's sad though? But you know what's sad is that Instagram has now shaped your conversations. Yeah. So when we do have family conversations, instead of saying, hey, Chris, how are you doing? How are you and Michelle? It's hey, did you see this? It is. And you're pulling out videos of babies that we don't even know. It shapes, well, first of all, they're really funny and cute, but it shapes your conversation. It leads your conversation. And like you said, it's about people that I will never meet, I'll never see face to face, I'll never have a conversation with. I could try to message them, they'll never message me back because why would they message a random stranger? Right. That would never happen. So you're at a table with your family or your friends and you're talking about did you hear this? Did you see that? Did you see this post and what this person tagged them, they tagged them, they didn't tag them, all this drama. Yet, do you even know what your friend across the table is going through? Yeah. Have you asked them, hey, how are you doing? How's your family? How's your daughter? How's your parents? You're missing out because we're talking really about this fake world.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00It's a complete fake world that people are trying to make a reality, but I don't think that's gonna last long. So it's this fake world that we're talking about and we're wasting our time. And then weeks later, your friend goes to MIA and you're like, what's wrong with you? And they're like, Well, I've been going through it with my parents. And it's been too addicted to social media. Yeah, right.
SPEAKER_03Well, guys, those are the those are the bad sides of social media, plus some of the stuff that is being forced down our our young people's throats as being normal and so forth. And that's why parents, others have to come alongside, which brings me to this because we keep saying, well, this is gonna run out, and it's not. It's there's always another platform or another thing that starts to get people's attention to keep them all dialed in. And you know, when what was that challenge that they did where they poured the water on everybody's head? Ice pocket challenge. There's always something out there that draws you right back to your social media or a dance, yeah, that's out there. Which by the way, I didn't even know that there's like a specific TikTok dance. There's people that teach you how to do the TikTok dance multiple.
SPEAKER_02There's the the the TikTok
dances, yeah.
SPEAKER_03And somebody who makes by the way I don't know who makes these things. I don't know. No, no, no. Whoever whoever the puppet master is for the social media, but um, so that's the bad side of it. We know the bad, there's a bunch of there's there's a lot of negative to it. What we're trying to say is this, and this is where I'm coming to more and more. As much as I'd like to stay away from it, I also know it's a good thing in that for one, family members. There's some family members I'm out of touch with.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_03And uh, like a cousin reached out the other day, and it was sweet to hear from her. And so I hadn't been in touch with her for years, and um, she's only a year or two older than I am. And it was nice to be able to stay abreast of what she's doing and she's commenting on the baby, grandparents, all that kind of stuff. And that was nice. And so that's the plus side of it, where you get to see where some of your friends and your family is at. Uh, I know from the church perspective, our business, we love it. And I tell people when they go on vacation, man, I look forward to following you so I can see where they're at. Social media they post, and the Bernaldos are here and there, and I get to see where the different church members are at. And most of the time that's positive. Sometimes I see where they're at and I see they're not in church when they're doing something they shouldn't be doing.
SPEAKER_01I'm like, come on, get in church.
SPEAKER_03So that doesn't help us. But there is a balance, and I guess what I want to do is this, guys. Where can we help people, young people, parents, talking to their kids and such? Where can we find and strike a balance with it?
SPEAKER_02Well, I'd start by saying recognizing that in order to get to the good, you have to deal with the bad. Because I do think because of the addictive tendency of it, because of what is out there, you can't come in and try to bring balance to it uh like one little inch at a time. It's not an elephant you eat. It's really more of, like I said, a Mustang you've got to break. Uh, because we talk about it all the time. It's like out of out of the four siblings, there's always somebody who's doing really good. Take Lauren out of this. She's just off of it and doesn't even have it, and she's doing better than all of us. So the other three, like there's a time where I'm doing really good at being balanced with it, and Gabby's just not, and Stephanie is like, it's causing an issue. And then a month later, I'm the one who's on it all the time, and Stephanie's just been great. So you probably have to come to it and realize this is something that can really become addictive and take over my life. This is something that is probably negative. And once you come to it from that perspective, then you can protect yourself from that and get the good out of it. So I've actually found myself seeing the good in it more because for about three months, I was completely against it, believing it was like the spawn of Satan. I'm like, this is the worst thing ever. And so yeah, I came at it from such a this is so bad. And then before I knew it, I found this one guy on Instagram who's telling people how to grow food from scraps. And I'm like, the only reason I go on Instagram today is to see if the dolphins have done anything, because I follow this one page and to see this guy's page. It's the only reason I go on. Yeah. So starting from that extreme place, which I know we don't always like, but starting from that extreme place has allowed the good to kind of ink in a little bit here and there. And now I feel balanced about it.
SPEAKER_03Well, I'll tell you this though. I feel like it's a great way to teach discipline.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03See, there's certain things that it's easy to say, all right, I don't want to deal with it, so you cut it out of your life.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That may give you a certain level of discipline. But where we need to be using social media is it is a community.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And this whole deal with Roe v. Wade. We got to help people see and hear from us as leaders how healthy leaders want to express values that are biblical in nature that will help them deal with all the other negative stuff that's out there. So we have to be at the intersection, you know, and that's where that social media influence is at. We have to be out there. So, yes, it would be nice to just be off of it, but we can't. So when we do get on it, here's the point I make my post, yeah, I check out a couple of friends, get off. Get off.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03That's where the discipline comes in. Because you're gonna need to show discipline in that area of your life like you're gonna show it in a lot of areas of your life. And so I do like the idea of all right, you're on it, got it. Everybody is great avenue, but just show some discipline to control what you're doing. And what I mean by that is not just your time, but the way you view everything when you're on it. My concern with some young people, or even old people, man, my age, they compare. Yeah, they see what so-and-so's doing, they're highlight reel, and they're like, oh my gosh, I got nothing going on in my life. You can't do that. That you gotta be sensitive with that comparison. You were gonna say gabbers.
SPEAKER_00Well, two things. Another thing that people do is where you need discipline, is that you see a person, and based on the amount of followers they have, that automatically says, wow, they have influence. And that's not the case because a lot of these people on Instagram and on TikTok have grown their followers by doing dances, by doing challenges, by posting funny videos.
SPEAKER_02By following hundreds of thousands of people, and then two days later going and unfollowing those people to real tech.
SPEAKER_00They're playing the game and they're doing their part, and you know what? It's great, and they're posting stuff that's funny and it's entertaining, and that's awesome. But you cannot get your source of information or follow their opinion, because where do they get their influence from? It's from dances, it's from being funny. So that's one thing. Discipline yourself and control yourself in that aspect. Also, though, if you're looking for little ways to balance out your social media, what I did about two years ago was I went to all of my followers and I said, if I wouldn't in real life follow this person, meaning if I wouldn't want to know what they're doing in their life, if I wouldn't ask them questions about them and want to be involved in their life, I unfollowed them. So celebrities, I don't follow a single celebrity. Even Christian celebrities, I don't follow them. And I I support them and I pray for them. But if they're not in my life, I'm not going to see what they're doing because it opens you up to look what they're doing and look what you're not doing. Look what's happening to them and what's not happening to you. So I actually only follow the people in our life, the church people in our lives, the people that maybe they live out of state but we're in relationship with them, because those are the people I would text. Those are the people if I DM'd them, they would answer and we would have a relationship with. I almost went back to what Facebook was created for, which was a community of all of your friends that you knew, a way for you to stay in touch. So that was the first thing because I did not want to look into someone's life that I wouldn't, like for example, Cardi B, I would never want to meet her. Why am I gonna follow her on Instagram? Why am I gonna follow Harry Styles if I'm never gonna pay money to go to his concert? I don't need to know anything about you. But then second, I had to put some app controls and time limits on it. And that is something that I'm hoping to not have to do that, but right now I need it. And what I've done is I do every day, I have a one-minute time timer on that app. Because I go on, I post now, I get it. I get it. Hi, Dad.
SPEAKER_03I'm being through the eye.
SPEAKER_00But I'll do a one-minute timer because I go on one hour. One minute. It gives me enough time to post something for church or post something for whatever got to post and quickly look at anybody I want to check in on, and then I'm out. Usually that doesn't last, but okay.
SPEAKER_03So let me ask you this on your story. Is a story um actually posting, or is it not when you put a story to your friends?
SPEAKER_00Oh, you're talking about close friends versus real story?
SPEAKER_03Are you just informing? Your friends of information. Hey, this is what I'm doing. Can can I tell you what I'm thinking?
SPEAKER_02So I I totally agree with the heart of what you're saying, but I don't know. Here he goes, Mr. Disagreeable. He's always disagreeable.
SPEAKER_00No, this is a good counter-argument.
SPEAKER_02I don't know if anybody under the age of 50 is going to be able to approach this that way. The reason for that is, huh?
SPEAKER_00I did, but it's okay. Did what? Approached it the way that we said.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no, the way he's saying. No, the reason I say that is I'm the last generation that did not have an iPhone until I was in college. Everybody after me started to get access to this in very early developmental years. Now, there are some families like John, their kids don't have this stuff until they get older. And then even when they do, there's a lot of parameters to who they can follow. But there are, hey mom, but there are so many people that the addiction level has become so uh you can't spot it. That this is almost one of those things where you're putting parameters in place every two or three months.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And so I do believe there needs to be an aspect of, no, we need to go a little bit more extreme. So I'll tell you what I do. I delete the app. I delete the app, and when I want to go post, I go get it again. This has allowed me to now have the app on my phone. It I don't have to delete it anymore, but I can go on from time to time. But I have another parameter I put in place. I tell Rochelle the minute you feel like I'm on my phone too much, tell me. Now every time she does that, I go, that's unfair. I'm never on my phone. But then I come back at the end of the day to say, okay, hold on. I told her to tell me, which means she's watching for it. So I just think different personality types, different people need to handle it differently.
SPEAKER_03But that's my point about discipline, Chris. Discipline doesn't change based on your personality. Discipline is discipline.
SPEAKER_02But a lot of people don't think this is an area where they need discipline. That's the point I'm trying to make.
SPEAKER_03A lot of people I think they do. I think people, when they see the constant bombardment of a parent to their kid, you're on your phone too much, you're on your phone too much. At that point, it's a lesson to be taught to our younger generation. And to people that do know, you want to talk about people under 50. How about those over 20 that know what's good for you is moderation in everything? So if it's going to be moderation, I got to exercise it right here because it could get in the middle. If I'm in this state of comparison, if I'm constantly comparing myself, hopefully a little voice goes off in your head and said, That's wrong. Don't do that. Don't compare yourself to others. So how do you stop? Well, I got to show some discipline here.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. But I also think that
that social media has become where we discuss ideas.
SPEAKER_03It's that's my that's my balance. That's why I'm saying it is we have to be at the intersection. So you have to be on it, but to what degree?
SPEAKER_02Well, that's that's the thing though. Should it be that platform? Because I find it funny that the the the platform full of of people working out with inspirational quotes, the the the platform full of what I eat in a day, where all these people are like taking people through. This is what I eat. This has become the place where we're like, let's try to change hearts and minds about the deepest and hardest things. I think social media has created a world where you passively read. You don't you don't read while you fully engaging. So I personally have decided that I'm gonna go more long form with my thoughts. I'm gonna take what I believe and put them into blogs or books because people tend to read those while they engage more.
SPEAKER_03Okay, so that's just a I'll tell you on the other balance of it. I'm thankful, mom and I are thankful that you guys came across Nathan Finocchio. Very good. Yes. You wouldn't have come across him had it not been for social media.
SPEAKER_02You're right.
SPEAKER_03But he has spoken because we share a lot of the same beliefs. He has spoken things into you that mom and I haven't spoken into you. People in leadership at this church didn't speak to you. No, but it's the same spirit and it affirms and confirms the very spirit of which we measure truth. So you go on, and at that intersection where there's so much other information that's out there, you come across Nathan Finocchio, and he has been a tremendous help. You came across um Jordan Peterson.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Helped you lock into the right voices of our culture. And quite frankly, it was on social media where we picked up on this revelation that there's more for us out there than against us.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And that's where I think you're right about the balance. And first of all, we just need to say, very proud of you for remember for remembering these names. Great job, Dad. You remembered these days.
SPEAKER_03Like Pinocchio. No, Pinocchio. Pinocchio.
SPEAKER_00The amount of times he's probably gotten that. But what I will say about that is that, and this is where the balance comes. I don't think you should say anything on social media you would not say to the person you're sitting across the table with, or if you're a pastor or an evangelist that you wouldn't say on your platform in person. That's where I think people have gone wrong, where I'm gonna post about it because that's your only platform, but you're not gonna talk about it. That's something I love about Nathan Finocchio. What he posts about, he'll tell you. He you watch his sermons, he says it. And so a lot of people we see nowadays only use Instagram as the platform. Well, here's the thing when you speak about certain social issues and then you're quiet about other social issues, it's like, okay, wait, because now you've dated it. You've put it on your post. It's not that it's just on your 24-hour story, you put it on your page. People are gonna hold you accountable to what you're posting because now that's your only platform. So I do agree with it's a balance, but be very careful with what you're posting and make sure you're gonna say that and not just post it.
SPEAKER_02Well, to that point, I remember a great teaching on communication. And Pastor Mike taught us, you've mentioned it to me a couple of times. And the teaching is don't do drive-bys, which is in the middle of a sermon about something, don't just say, and you know what, and go on a rabbit trail for a minute and a half about something super hard, super delicate, like abortion or something. Don't go into that for a minute and a half and create some uneducated little throw up of, you know what, that's on my mind. I'm just gonna say it. Don't do that when you're preaching. Well, I feel like social media has become just a bunch of drive-bys. And that's that's one thing I'd like to see changed. It's it's people who are uneducated, who don't know what they're talking about. And I'm even talking about our friends, start posting about things or reposting other people when we don't know if that person knows what they're talking about. Exactly. We don't really know what's going on. So that's one thing I'd love to see. And that's why I don't really respond. I I follow his lead. If you post about something, I'm like, you know what, I will too. Because it's really more about we can't just you're going on someone's story and then all of a sudden it's like, did I just step into someone's riot? Like, are they? I didn't even know they're, you know, I didn't know that was happening. So there's an aspect of that that I also think needs to bring balance. We can't just drive by, and you know what? Here's something super big and delicate that's really difficult. Let me just throw out of something that's going to disappear in 24 months.
SPEAKER_01Right. Right.
SPEAKER_00Well, you don't know the heart of the person posting either. You don't know the relief system, you don't know how they were raised. So maybe they say something that you agree with, but then you go into their page and you disagree with everything.
SPEAKER_03No, and guys, you're in a sacred position. We're all in a sacred position here in our work to where when we say something, we're just not saying it, it's not just our opinion. We we represent this church, this organization.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And when we make a statement that could be differing from what the platform of this church values, then we are showing throwing some shade negative on the church's position. So we don't have the privilege of just going out there and expressing our opinion just for the sake of it being our opinion. We have a big weight of responsibility behind us, which is why we're very sensitive about, and we've learned a hard way about what we do post. Listen, followers do not mean they're friends. No, big difference. And there are people out there that just want to stir it up just to get you all riled up. And that's the part where I know I have very, excuse me, I have a very small uh threshold or capacity. I have a very we all have a little capacity to to handle stress, crises, troubles, yeah, and so forth. We it's like this cup. We all have uh enough stuff that's going on to fill this cup without social media. Yeah, when it gets full, then physically and emotionally and spiritually speaking, we're drained. Yeah. What you don't want to do, that's just real life alone. Going to work, dealing with the economy, paying bills, dealing with your spouse, having friends, all that kind of stuff. That's just dealing with life. Now you bring social media into the picture and you're putting stuff in this emotional cup of yours with from people that you don't even know. No. And now you're getting angry at people and you think, well, that's stupid. That was wrong. That's an ignorant opinion. Who cares? You don't know them. It's not your battle. Post what you got to post, move on. But don't, I I think the thing with me, social media, is when you're you're scrolling and you're just going through it and you're quick like pick like quick like you don't even care that much. I don't even care that much. And that's where you get drawn over to it. So that's a problem.
SPEAKER_00Dad, if they cared that much, if we cared that much, we would go, oh my God, this is happening in the world. Where can I sign up a petition to make sure this law doesn't get passed? Where can I put my money? Where can I, if you cared that much, but a post, all it is, it's a tap of a little thing that looks like a check mark or whatever it is, you post that and it makes you think it shows everybody I'm on this side. Yeah, right. But you're not doing anything.
SPEAKER_03No, you're not. So there's balance. So we all agree that there is pros and cons to social media, and young people, they do find enjoyment from it, and that's okay. All right. At the same time, the um the con is you just can't let it become your addiction, it can't be your dopamine hit. Um, and you can't judge yourself based on it. So find a good balance.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And um, it's okay to be able to do that. Now, listen, we've come to this table conversation here today because we have processed this for years.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And these are conversations we've had on the back porch, around the dinner room, the dinner table. We've discussed it. So it's not as though we've arrived at this one and done. As a family, we have walked through this. And that's what I would hope all of our listeners are able to understand.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Just stay at it. Don't throw up your hands and quit. Don't get so, excuse me, so frustrated that you just mark off your kid, put them in the room, take away their phone forever because they're doing it. No, help them through it and stay at it. And just about the time you think they got it, stay at it more. Because you're gonna have to stay on top of them. There's always a new app coming out, always something new that's pulling their attention to it. And man, it breaks my heart that our young people are so
drawn by all this. And uh, you're gonna have to help them through it. I would say they may need a hobby. Gardening. They may need a hobby. Or puzzles. Or puzzles do things that'll help keep their brain occupied. Thanks for joining us for another episode of the Family Business with the Alessis. Ding, ding, ding, ding. That was Gabby Alesi, that was Christopher Alesi, and it is Steve Alesi. Thanks for joining us.
SPEAKER_02You've just enjoyed another episode of the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies, and we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podience today. Now that you've learned more about us, here's how you can join in in the family business. First, make sure you're following our podcast right now and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Second, think of someone you know that might need or enjoy this episode and share it with them. You'll be helping them and helping us to spread the word about the family business. Third, go to AlesiFamily Business.com and tap the Ask the Alessies button. This is really cool. You can use it to record a voicemail comment or question, and we can add your voice to our conversations. Finally, while you're on our page, tap the reviews tab and you'll see a link to leave a review on Apple Podcasts. We love reading your reviews and we might even share them on the show. Thanks again for joining us, and we'll see you next time at the Family Business with the Alesssies because family is everybody's business.