All right, welcome to another one of our family business podcasts where family is everybody's business. Mary and I are talking today about some things that we can't always talk about on Sunday. And in particular, Mary, uh we want to kick this off talking about gifting with our kids and our family members that are in the home and uh how we help our kids find what their unique gift is, their talent is that they would like to be able to walk into and uh use for their own direction in life, as the Bible tells us that we are to train up a child in the way that they should go so that when they get older they won't depart from it. So, what are we doing to help our kids get trained and what they're gonna do the rest of their life? And then uh that means recognizing it and then giving them an opportunity to use it. So, in our sense, the ministry is the platform where we're able to see our kids' gifts being used.
But let's talk about this for a minute. How do we recognize the gifts that are in our kids?
SPEAKER_02I think some kids make that easy. They're naturally gifted to do one or more things, like sing or they like to dance, and we think that's their gifting, especially when they're younger. Um, and it's easy to think, oh, they they have a propensity for this. They're a writer, or they really like school, and their gifting would be to be a teacher, or we look for the tangible things that manifest where you might have a child that doesn't do any of those things. And it doesn't mean they're any less gifted than a child who naturally moves in the direction of said gift, right? So, with our children, all of them could sing because we wanted them to have the gift of singing, we wanted them to be a part of our family and sing because we all sang. Yeah, but that didn't mean that all four of them would go into the music business. Yeah. They can all speak and they're good communicators, but it doesn't mean that they're all going to go into communication. Um, Lauren is an amazing cook. It doesn't mean that she's going to go into becoming a chef. So it's it's easy when you have a child that has this natural propensity, but we can't force that. And we've talked about how we've done this over the years and we've kind of we didn't we never wanted to fumble our way through parenting. Yeah. Never. So we always sought proverbs, which is something that we are big about, seeking wisdom. We've sought our parents' knowledge and other people's knowledge and information. And then we've just asked God to help us identify those things in our children's lives. Yeah. Because even sometimes the thing they're good at that they love and they really are drawn towards, that might not be the thing for them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, yeah. I I remember when the when Gabby was littler and she could sing and hit high notes, people would say, You need to put her on American Idol. Like, uh, how about no?
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02No. That's true. Never going on American Idol, because some gifts need to be channeled in a way that God gets the glory and the world doesn't get to have your kids.
SPEAKER_01Or letting that gift come out before it's time.
SPEAKER_02It's time. It's too soon.
SPEAKER_01Which is huge going back to the importance of making sure their foundation uh is strong, that they're secure, that they're secure in God. That's right. Because you never want your kids to be elevated in their gift to a position that their character won't sustain it.
SPEAKER_02That's exactly right.
SPEAKER_01And so you don't want your kids to be elevated too quickly. But as a parent, it's part of our job. Yeah. Our job is to help our kids recognize their gifts. So I think back on a couple of things with um Christopher in particular. You, I mean, we knew right away that Chris had a gift of gab. Oh, he could talk. He he could talk. And one of those times really showed itself when he was doing something that we had to punish him for. So going home, um, we said to him in the car, Chris, when you get home, you have an option. Remember this story?
unknownYes.
SPEAKER_01Where we said to him, either you're going to get a spanking, okay? Or you're not gonna be able to watch Barney for two weeks or something like that. And Chris was young at the time, and of course, a spanking back then was a couple soft swats on his butt. No, yeah, on his back side. And he's sitting in the back seat, and this is when we learned he was gonna be uh he was gonna be able to talk his way through some things. Out of some things. Out of some things. Yeah. You remember what he said? He's back there quietly in the back seat and he's processing and says, uh, can I ask a question? And we said, Yeah. And of course, we had this little kid, he's all by himself back there, and we're trying to figure out how to even, you know, discipline him at that age. Because Chris was always a good kid. He'd just do things that were like, okay, don't invite anybody over to spend a night this weekend. Okay, Chris, nobody can come spend a night. And he'd end up with three or four kids coming and asking us, can I spend a night at your house?
SPEAKER_02My mom said I could if you say yes.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, so I think it was actually one of those things. And so he's in the back and he says, Can I ask you a question? We said, Yes. He says, How many swats on the butt will I get? And we knew right then we were cornered. This kid, he he's gonna learn how to ask the right questions. He's gonna learn how to articulate himself in such a way that then one day when he was complaining about getting bullied at school, I was always quick to want to respond. And that was terrible for me growing up. Uh, when I was bullied or when I was picked on because I was a preacher's kid, I I would have this chip on my shoulder that stayed with me forever, and I'd just get aggressive. And I'd say to him when he was talking about being bullied, and he was, I hated it. I used to watch it when he'd be playing football or something, and I'd say, Chris, please do me a favor, never hit somebody, never punch a guy.
SPEAKER_02Never be aggressive, man.
SPEAKER_01Never be aggressive, always talk your way out of it. Always talk your way out of it. And sure enough, Chris learned how to communicate all with his mouth, his thoughts, the way he gets up. And today we see him doing what he does on the stage with the gift that he has. Yeah, it was part of his young DNA as a kid, and it was our job to recognize that that was that was part of his gift. What I see a lot of people in our position do, and when I say our position, I'm referring to ministry. I see a lot of people putting their kids in areas of giftings or positions that they're not gifted for.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01If your kid is not a gifted communicator, don't put them in that position of leadership.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_01Because that's not something that's going to be what God has put on them for. People that speak better have a gift of communicating. Right. Or they're going to be a teacher. You can be a teacher, but in our line, in our profession, if you're going to pastor, if you have more of a teaching gift, then let's help you bring that teaching gift out if you're going to speak. But if you're a revelator, then let's let you find your area of revelation. Right. And that's what we see with Christopher is his strength. Right. Is that. So we recognize that in him from the uh early onset.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And I think it's important to know with your kids, you know, you don't have to know for sure what they're good at right away by the time they're in second grade.
SPEAKER_01That's so good.
SPEAKER_02We have to be careful not to get out ahead of God and get out ahead of their maturity and drive them in a direction out of this sense of false need that we need to get them somewhere. No, they just let it marinade, let it, let it be. Build their confidence in who they are at home, making their beds important, you know, all those little things. But it's so easy for us to feel like to be a good parent, I've got to help my child find what they're good at because what they do good is what's going to give them confidence. And sometimes just doing things right in the process is enough. Just do day-to-day right.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And it's also important to know what they're to be okay with what they're not good at. Yeah. And I think of Stephanie, right? So Stephanie all through school was terrible at school.
SPEAKER_01Education.
SPEAKER_02Education.
SPEAKER_01Classroom.
SPEAKER_02Yes, school. Yeah. Education and being in the classroom. So she hated it. She struggled with it. Um, she was had to be taken out every day when she was in school, and she had to do, you know, like extra classes and this and that to help her get caught up. And I remember when we really knew school was not going to be her thing was when she got her report card back one day. And we sit her down, and it's awful. It's just bad. She's in elementary school, and it's just bad. And you're sitting there and you said, Stephanie, you got a D in this class and a C in this class, and you're going down, and they're all like B minuses and below, C's and D's.
SPEAKER_01Reminded me of my report cards.
SPEAKER_02They were just like yours. Um and you're reading them, and she looked at us with all the confidence that a little girl could muster, and she went, guys. They're only letters. Did she just say, no, they're grades. It's a grading scale. The teacher just did not randomly choose letters to write down to say how well you're doing. That's correct. This is based on your merit. This is based on how well they're not just letters. We knew right then, okay, just because she wasn't good at school did not mean she wasn't going to be great at something.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And and I'll never forget the teeth the principal called us in Maryland. And she confirmed that. Yep. But with confidence. School is not going to be Steph's thing, and it's okay.
SPEAKER_01It's okay.
SPEAKER_02There are a lot of people that thrive outside of school. As a matter of fact, she'll probably get to college, and because she's going to work on a different system, she's going to blow the place away, and you're going to see her be a creative and be so talented. And she spoke words over Stephanie and over you and I that gave us hope. Because sometimes as parents, we get in so in the season of where our kids are. They've got to master this season and they've got to be great at this. Well, they're they're eight.
Yes.
SPEAKER_02Let's give them some time. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And it reminds me of uh we when we realized she wasn't going to be an athlete either.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01She thought she wanted to play soccer.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01And so she'd get out there and kick the ball around, and mostly she just would get out there and almost push her way around. She hated it. She no, she she loved playing, but she would get aggressive with some of the girls. Oh, true. She always took everything personal. If they blocked her, she never made it about the ball. She always made it about what did they do that for? I wish people knew Stephanie at that age. When they see where she's at today, the sweet little thing that gets up on the platform. I wish they knew her back when she was so aggressive about little things. And so one time they she came home telling me, Dad, they want me to be the goalie. I'm like, oh no, this isn't gonna work. But she's like so aggressive. She wanted it so bad. And then uh she was that goalie who's sitting there, and while the ball's on the other end of the field, she's not watching the ball or her team, she's just looking down at little flowers. She's trying to find clovers and she was a landscaper early on. Early on, and we knew, man, she was going to be the kind of kid that was creative. But John, do me a favor, send me, text me real quick. Remember when we had our men's event uh early morning, we'd do our man up, manhood, and we took a test. I can't remember what that test was. If you can remember that test that we would take that showed us who we uh what kind of temperament we had. Um yeah, send a text it to me. Uh, because uh I were talking about recognizing gifts. Maybe you remember when I came home with this. I think we did it so many years ago with Florence Latour.
SPEAKER_03Oh, yeah. Okay, yeah.
SPEAKER_01And here we are in our men's event, and we're taking this particular test. And the test was showing us what kind of temperament, whatever it was. I can't remember all the details of it, but whatever that test was, I actually brought it home and I took it with the kids and I showed the kids uh where there, this this test, what what it would affirm in them, uh, whether it was a temperament, whether it was a character test, whatever it was, uh gifting, what showed where they were strong, what kind of you know propensity they would have. And as kids, I remember them taking it, taking them through it because I wanted them to feel affirmed. That's right. And their unique processing, the way they would process, the way that they would think, the way that they would feel, the the way that they would see things, or their area of gifting where they would be stronger. Even as kids, I remember taking them through that so that they would feel this affirmation that whatever it is they are, whatever is unique about them, it's them and it's special. That's right. And they should celebrate that.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01You remember how important those tests were?
SPEAKER_02Oh my goodness. I think that was that's the connecting the dots that we talked about before that are so important. That some of the things that if if they really appeal and bless you personally, share those with your kids.
SPEAKER_03Yep.
SPEAKER_02If they make an impact in your life, make it a family. Even if your kids make fun, I'm not taking that, they make fun of you. No, we are. Bring that vision to your family and to your children. What a what an awesome opportunity you have to turn the TV off, get the kids in the room, and say, let's do this together so we can help you find where God has you and where you're going. It's so affirming. And you know, the truth is about when you're kids, it's those little things that happen that you never forget. Yeah. You know, I remember, um, while you're looking for that, I remember Stephanie was about 15 and we had a womanity conference here. And she was homeschooling. And because when when I took her out of school and started homeschooling her, everything changed. Her grades shot up because she could work at her pace. She had a different way of doing things. So the other two were better with structure. Steph was not as good with structure, but she loved being able to do things on a different time frame. So as long as we did things disciplined, she did well. Well, I remember we were on the stage and we were getting ready for the evening, trying to get um the music together. And I was trying to bring her into what we were doing. So she was probably about 14. Yeah. And I was trying to bring her in to find out is she really gifted in music? I know she has her guitar and she likes it, but she was just really kind of you know, starting down that road. I would not say she was a prodigy at all. You know, she knew a few chords and her voice sounded like a little girl. But I wanted to see what we could develop. And honestly, Steve, the truth is this was not a wisdom moment for me. This was not a parental genius on my part. It was really almost a dismissal of a moment that she was getting on my nerves. And so I was on the stage practicing, and so she comes in and she said the words that every parent hates. I'm bored. And I said, You're bored? How can you be bored? You have work to do. I finished my work. And I said, Well, you've got your guitar. Why don't you go in the room and write a song? Let's see what you come up with. Well, I really thought she would see that as me just dismissing her to get her out of my my face and because I had work to do. I said, Go write a song. Maybe you could write a song for the conference. Never thought about it again. Went on with the day. Later that afternoon, she comes in and she goes, Okay, I'm ready. I said, What are you talking about? You're ready. She said, I wrote a song. I said, What are you talking about? She said, You told me to go write a song. I wrote a song. And I said, You did? And that was the first song she wrote called Speak to Me. I'm on my knees, ready to receive. This land is dry. I can't remember all the words. That your word can only satisfy. So bring your word down like the rain as our hearts are listening. Speak to me, speak to me. I sat there frozen. I could not believe what a moment of go see if you could do this, would produce her first song. And what was amazing is she never turned that off. Once that faucet got turned on, and I can't even say that I was intentionally seeking, we were just bringing them along. I was just bringing her along and loving music, loving God. And then all of a sudden, she's a songwriter. And now we know she's writing songs, she's writing with other people, she's getting her songs recorded, she's making records. It and she's living in this giftedness, this gifting land that really, when she was 12, we didn't know was gonna happen.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_02We weren't sure, but we just took chances and brought them into these moments of opportunity, and the Lord did the rest.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. The point there is we can't leave it up to our kids to figure out that gift that they have. We have to help them. That's good. Which just makes it so sad when you think about so many kids that are out there without the proper kind of parental influence that don't have that influence giving them the right guidance. And we wonder why, you know, so many of them are confused and so many are are feeling lost and they're not loved and appreciated.
SPEAKER_02Or they waste time, they waste years without direction.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. That Florence Lit Tower. Florence Lit Tower, it was the personality test that we took years ago and that we would share with our kids. The other was this, it was about manhood, manhood. And there was the four stages. You were a king, you were a warrior, you were a lover, or you were a friend. And I remember taking Christopher through that because I wanted him to be affirmed in who he was as a man and what gifting uh his personality compared or combined with a gift that he had, how that would all work out in his life. And thankfully, it's at this point has brought good results, which then
leaves us to this. In our line of work, our kids really, right now, are part of our ministry team. Yeah, not just our staff, Mary, but our team.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01Which is so unique. And people, this is where a lot of people come up and say, Man, how did you guys do that? Well, one part of that is when you're you do recognize that your kid has a certain gift, you gotta make way for them. You gotta give them room on your platform or in your company uh to start to use their gift and exercise it.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So the more you exercise the gift, Bible calls it stirring up the gift, but the more you exercise that gift, the better you're gonna be at it. Just like in anything natural and the and the working out, your muscles get stronger as you use them. Any kind of resistance. So I've seen parents do one of two things. Either they never give their kids a chance to be promoted or to use their gifts in front of others because they the parent may feel like they're not ready, uh, they're not as good as I am. Um, it could be an issue with ego. I know in our line of work, there's a lot of guys that have egos that they just don't make room for others that are not as good as them, whatever that means. Okay. So some never make a way for them. Then the other side of it, some make a way too soon and push their kids up there as though they have a kid that is special.
SPEAKER_03Right.
SPEAKER_01And here's the thing: it's important that we teach our kids with their gifting. Listen, you are important on our team, you're not necessarily special. Right. And there's a big difference. You're they all have to be important. They got to feel they're important because of their you, their gift and what they bring to the table. If they don't feel important, they're not gonna want to fit in. Right. So they have to feel important that you're part of the puzzle. That dad and dad's not the only puzzle out there. Dad's not the only piece in this puzzle. And in our case, it's not dad and mom, but everyone in our family is important, okay? But that they have a role to play, they're a piece of the puzzle, but we don't promote them too soon. Because if we promote them too soon, then we could hurt the development of their gift.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_01And we've seen this.
SPEAKER_02We've seen it. And what's what's scary is that when a person, a young person's character is not developed, it doesn't matter how gifted they are, they sabotage the gifting. And in sabotaging the gifting, they hurt a lot of people along the way. And it's not necessarily all the fault of Of that person. It's the leaders in their life. It's the parents that elevated them too quickly. And especially if you have a child that's really, really talented, naturally has a propensity towards something, and you elevate them too quickly, they start believing they're something that they are not. And their character isn't developed enough. And we say it this way, we know their frontal lobes aren't fused. I mean, their brains aren't even fully developed to truly understand reasoning that that could get me in trouble. Their characters and their brains are still being developed. So when you elevate a young person quicker than he ought, you are gonna deal with the fallout of that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because their character can't sustain where their gifting takes them. And the Bible says that it will, it's God that will make a way for you. He'll open doors for you that no man can shut. We as parents still have to know how to navigate and guide our children. You can't, you can't ever be too humble in God's presence. You can't ever lay anything down enough for God. When you lay those things down and you teach your kids to say, don't get it, let's not get this twisted. I I'll give you a story that I'll that I heard years ago from a lady that I met when I was traveling on the road, and her son was a prodigy on the drums. At by the age of 11, he was a prodigy. And because he was so talented, all of these other drummers were giving him sets and blown away and 11 years old, and he's having this opportunity, he's having that opportunity. And I remember sitting with his mom talking about him because he we were at this church and he was playing, and she said, the truth is his gifting is taking him somewhere that I know is his mother he's not ready to sustain. So we're doing this, but I'm about to pull it all away. And I remember thinking, Oh, she's gonna crush this kid's dream. But just because it was his gifting doesn't mean that out of time, it should be a dream. Because that's the parent's role to navigate through wisdom and discernment when is the right time. It could have easily been catastrophic for that young man. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And gifting would have been the lure. Yeah. Yes. We see that with sports where kids, because of a gift, are being promoted, and nobody says the education is important.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_01And and they get them through school to be an athlete, and then they become an athlete where the limelight is so bright, the money is so alluring that they never develop a character to go along with that bright light or that position because they've just skidded by on gifts. That's right. We can't do that with our peak our kids. We got to make sure we're giving them the opportunity at the right time. Now it starts with little opportunities here and there, but don't make people in our line of work, don't make your your church family sit there and have to endure a bad gift that you think your kid has if it's not ready yet.
SPEAKER_02I know. And you know nobody ever sit talks this way. This is Stephen Mary talk.
SPEAKER_01Well, nobody in your church will really say something if uh in today's church. I mean, there's some churches that you were raised in where they never made way for the kids. Our our day's different. We like making a way, not just for our kids. We make a way for the kids of our staff. They're part of our team. It's important. Our goal is so long range with our family, but also our church ministry that we want to see all of those kids that have a gift for the ministry and a calling for the ministry. There's gonna be a place for them to land to be a part of this team here. Absolutely. And that's it's beautiful with two campuses. We're able to see that more and more. But I've seen parents promote too quickly, right? Which then puts their kid in a position that the kid's not ready for.
SPEAKER_02They're not ready.
SPEAKER_01They give them uh because they have a gift, they put them in front of certain people that they're not ready to be put in. That makes the kid feel as though they're they're better than their peer group. Your kid should never feel they're better than their peer group.
SPEAKER_02Never.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02No.
Let let them recognize that that peer group is there to support. It's it's there for them to enjoy. It's uh they they should feel comfortable with their peer group. But I've seen it where parents have put their kid in front of people 10 years older than they are or 15 years older, and let their kid think their gift is so important that they that that they deserve getting up there in front of that person. And then they use that and it it makes them a little prideful and it makes them a little arrogant. And you don't want that. People don't want to follow, at least in our line of work, Mayor. They don't want to follow somebody that's prideful or arrogant.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_01All because they have a certain gift.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_01That's why we, I mean, we work real hard to keep our kids humble.
SPEAKER_02We try, we try, we remind them where they came from at all times. No. Well, you know, I will say there was one really good example of, you know, having four children and Christopher, we helped somewhat. Stephanie, we didn't really have to help a lot. She went headfirst into music. Um, Gabby knew by the time she was a young teenager she wanted to be in ministry as well. And Lauren, our third, super gifted and talented, the sweetest spirit of everybody in our family. I we have always said that. Um, there's but there was a season for her finishing high school of really knowing what she wanted to do. And in not knowing what she wanted to do, she would verbalize that she just knew what she didn't want to do.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And it hurt us all a little bit when she'd say make these statements, like, Well, I'm not gonna be in ministry like you guys, and I'm not gonna do this. And we would get defensive for a little bit. And then as time went on and she got into college and she started, she was different. Her, the way that she does things is just different than everyone in the family. She's very unique. And you helped her a couple of years ago really help find that focal point based on what you saw her naturally have a propensity towards, even at home with her friends throughout her whole life. And it was so insightful of you, if I could brag about you for a little bit, to have that discernment about her and to really help her navigate, because that's not your personality. You, your personality, you get impatient with that very quickly. No, find your thing, whatever. And Lauren was just not making it as easy as the others did, but you really navigated her through and let her kind of find her way, but also not on her own. You helped her find that way through what she was naturally gifted at. You want to tell that or you want me to tell it?
SPEAKER_01Oh, that's fine. Yeah. Uh I wish our I wish people could see how this worked itself out because it's just part of what we said before about constantly staying in the loop, always teaching leadership, always being on point. It's never really a pause. You don't lay it down. But we we were in the car, and I'm been praying because we were at a critical place with her. Uh, she had uh Lauren was always a year ahead of her school.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And sometimes we forgot that. So when she graduated, she would have been a senior.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_01And we're treating her like she was a college graduate when the truth was she was just a senior in high school. But mentally we saw her ahead, and then she ended up going to Hawaii. And it was beautiful for her to go to Hawaii because that taught her something about herself.
SPEAKER_02Yes, it did.
SPEAKER_01That she had this ability, which was so important that she had a confidence to do things like she did when she was in Hawaii. And when we went to visit her that time, we were blown away at how she had mastered that island. So it was important for her to take that trip. When she came back, she wasn't really settled with her place here. And I remember praying, Lord, help help me direct her. My job is to direct her.
SPEAKER_02Which is a powerful prayer for father or mother to pray.
SPEAKER_01Got a director.
SPEAKER_02That's that's right there, right that way. Help me direct her.
SPEAKER_01Not gonna wait for a boyfriend to come along.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no. I need to have an outside voice.
SPEAKER_01That's right. And so I remember watching the way she would communicate with us in a family setting around the table. Anytime Lauren would say something, she reminded me a little of your dad.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01Because your dad was like uh a reader's digest guy. On the little book's digest. He would always have something he had read in the reader's digest, and he would share it with people around the table. And it was usually humorous, but he always had that reader's digest. Yeah. And so what I was seeing with Lauren is she had some of that, where she would say, Well, I was reading the other day, and she would share things, and it was always so good. Always, it was always attention getting, it wasn't just a kid, but as a a young woman growing up, she was bringing value to the conversation, and it was filled with a certain level of wisdom.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And so I remember saying to you, Mary, I I think Lauren, she just may help us in the future in our ministry be a counselor.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because I watched the way she brings wisdom to a situation, and I'm wondering if that's something God wants to stir up in here. Of course, you and I were immediately on the same page. We pray about it. Then it was how do I introduce this conversation to Lauren? And we're in the truck one day, going to Georgia. I was tired, so she's driving my truck at the time. And we're on I-10 going uh west. And I remember waking up from the nap and she and I was starting to talk. And I said to her this, I said, you know, Lauren, I've watched the way you communicate. I watch the way you share things with our family. And I'll tell you, every time you do so, it it impresses me because you come with a different perspective that, quite frankly, for your age is quite wise of you. And Lauren, you know what I'm wondering? I'm wondering if maybe your involvement in the ministry, which is something we're gonna need. We need this, Lauren. I wonder if your involvement in the ministry will be that of a counselor. More and more people today need counseling, Lauren. Godly counseling. And maybe that's something that you would be able to provide for the church. And I just shut up at that point because I wanted to see what she would say. Of course, I thought she would say, Oh, dad, no, you know, that's too counselor. What's that? You know, that's not fun. Not at all.
SPEAKER_02I know.
SPEAKER_01She thought there for a minute, touches my heart because I remember her vulnerability. Yeah, I remembered her being so open to me at that moment, Mary. And it was precious of her because she had never said a negative thing. Lauren was always honorable, always precious, always truthful with her feelings. And I remember her looking and saying, you know, Dad, I might like that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Which then started a conversation that has led us to this point where when we were developing some counseling coaches, Maury on our staff said, Lauren, would you help me with reading some material? Because Maury knew of our conversation. And our staff got behind right away in helping navigate Lauren in the right direction here of how can I develop this gift? And now we see her all this time later, she's pursuing her master's degree from Liberty University in counseling.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And what she's gonna do.
SPEAKER_02She's thriving. She has found her place.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. And and the stuff she shares with us, we we learn. Oh my god. I'm I'm amazed, you know, how how wrong I've been. I've always warned people I'm not a good counselor. Me neither. Now I'm reminded every time I talk to Laura of all the things I did wrong. Too hard, too direct, too blunt, and all of those things.
SPEAKER_02And she lets us know you guys would be terrible counselors.
SPEAKER_01Terrible counselors. But that's part of the whole process. That's right. And now going forward, you know, we as a church are gonna have a counseling department.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And we're working with some people in that. And Lauren's gonna be right along with us. Okay, so her gift is not on the platform. Though she sings on the platform and she enjoys singing and loves leading. That doesn't drive her. That doesn't really drive her. No. Like it does Stephanie or like it does Gabby or Christopher. Christopher is now the communicator. He loves that. Not crazy about the worship that he'll he does it. That's not necessarily what drives him. Stephanie's driven by the worship. Gabby's driven by the worship, though she's gonna change and be more of a communicator as time goes on. Lauren, she's not gonna be driven by the worship and on the platform and the speaking. She's gonna be driven by sitting down, helping people process what they're going through.
SPEAKER_02Oh, what a gift.
SPEAKER_01And it's just as valuable to the ministry as a sermon or a song that we're the whole point here is we have to help our kids recognize the gift that they have and then make a way for them as best as possible while keeping them humble and on track and in the right timing. That's it. Because they may not, well, we know this, they're not going to peak in their 20s. They better not peak in their 20s. No, they better not. They bet better not peak in their 30s.
SPEAKER_02There's a long road ahead.
SPEAKER_01There's a long road ahead. Peaks come somewhere really in their late 40s and 50s. That's right. 20s, they're just finding their way. 30s, they're trying to build and get established. 40s, they're building a platform that's going to bring security. 50, they slow down a bit and start to enjoy the labor of their work. And so by the time they're in their 60s and 70s, they're reaping the real benefits of what their gifts and talents have been meant for. So we
hope today this has helped us, helped you understand the value of gifting. So as I close, speaking of gifts, this has nothing to do with gifting, but what's your favorite hobby?
SPEAKER_02Oh, oh, my favorite hobby is Hobby Lobby. Shopping. Shopping is my favorite hobby.
SPEAKER_01Yep. And you have the scars to prove it.
SPEAKER_02And I do. My credit card stays hot all the time.
SPEAKER_01Hot and heavy. Yes. No, but it is shopping. That's what you're doing. It is. It brings you joy. What's my hobby?
SPEAKER_02It's an antidepressant. What is your favorite hobby? Oh, everybody knows what your favorite hobby is, don't they?
SPEAKER_01Hmm. It's changed over the years.
SPEAKER_02Can I guess?
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah. Hunting. Hunting. The hobby of the century is hunting.
SPEAKER_02For you.
SPEAKER_01For me. It's an expensive. Of the 50s century was fishing.
SPEAKER_02True.
SPEAKER_01The hunting of the 30s century was a fishing.
SPEAKER_02Well, I just want to be clear. I've been consistent with my hobby all these years.
SPEAKER_01So true.
SPEAKER_02Very consistent.
SPEAKER_01You, however. I got a feeling my hobby was more expensive than your hobby.
SPEAKER_02Oh, thank you for saying that. It's recorded and set in my life.
SPEAKER_01But I do have a green thumb these days, too, so I'm developing a leader.
SPEAKER_02That's kind of newer hobby. Yes, you are.
SPEAKER_01Yes, we are. Okay, we hope today the family podcast has been a blessing.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for listening to the Family Business Podcast with the LSIs. We appreciate you listening and learning with us as we just shared more about the family business. You know, I bet there's someone you know who could use this kind of advice, encouragement. So make sure to share this episode with them and their family because let's face it, family is everyone's business. If you want to be a part of our family, subscribe to the show right now on your favorite app and make sure to download the episodes so you can hear them at any time. Oh, and one more thing one of the best ways to help us spread the word about the family business with the Alesssies is by reviewing the show on Apple Podcasts or your favorite app. So help us out, write a review, and join us next time at the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies.