Welcome to another episode of the Family Business Podcast. Because let's face it, family is everybody's business. And today we're going to be talking with all people, Gabrielle Alesi. And we're going to be talking about things here in our Family Business Podcast Studio that we cannot talk about on Sunday, Gabby. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_04Because I'm not sure people can handle all this information you're going to be sharing.
SPEAKER_01It's too much.
SPEAKER_04Too much for just one Sunday. We have John Roman that's in the studio, and he may just say something on the mic. And then Ashley's helping us uh behind the camera. So I hope you're ready for this.
SPEAKER_01I'm excited. Are you really? I am. I have two things to tell you about the young generation, what they call this thing now.
SPEAKER_04Oh, what do they call it?
SPEAKER_01They call this we're in the stew.
SPEAKER_04In the stew.
SPEAKER_01And we're recording a pod. So just felt like you should know if we want a younger audience to watch in the stew, recording a pod. In the stew. Yes.
SPEAKER_04And we're recording.
SPEAKER_01It sounds like you're in a bathroom.
SPEAKER_04We're in the pod and we're recording a stew.
unknownI got it.
SPEAKER_04Well, if you're watching via video, you can
see a beautiful family photo of the whole clan. There we go. The whole clan with the family business. And all the way to your left is Gabrielle. She's the little one that's off to the side. The only other one we haven't talked to yet is the one next to you, Lauren. But here we are, Gabby, in the stew. In the stew, recording a pod. Recording a pod. I love it. So here's what you're doing today. You're uh our youngest child at 21. The truth is, I think you were born 21 years of age because you were always very advanced and mature for your age. Uh, you were almost a millennial baby.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I was.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I was one day away from you getting money.
SPEAKER_04Some kind of money or at least recognition. December the 30th, not the 31st, not midnight.
SPEAKER_0130th.
SPEAKER_04And your mom had you, and we immediately went out to a church event the next day because it was a family event.
SPEAKER_01Whatever. Family church. I was there, so I remember, I know.
SPEAKER_04Yes, you were there here. So um, but now, 21 years later, you are serving as people see you most of the time in praise and worship.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04As you're part of the leadership there. And then in our business, you're also taking care of the youth ministry.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_04Where about a year and a half ago you stepped in to help take the leadership from that uh ministry, and you're working through uh COVID. You were in place with COVID. You did a great job keeping those young people together. I got the video of you having your first Zoom party and you're dancing in the office. It was great. It was great. And they were engaged with you, and the parents were very appreciative, Gabs, that you kept it up and running during COVID. So you did a great j job navigating the youth through COVID. So how are you feeling today?
SPEAKER_01I feel great.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01I feel great. I feel great because now we're past COVID. And as at least a ministry, and we're in the middle of figuring out how to do life now with it around. And the youth is just really, it's getting to a really good place where the kids are kids. They're amazing kids and they want this so bad.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. And there's a there's there's something that's magnetic about you, Gabs. And it I think it really is a touch of God on your life. But it's bringing even some great parent leadership around you that come alongside of you and serve in that area of ministry that allows us to feel real secure because you're not doing this alone as a 21-year-old. No, you have some great people that are around you that can also speak into your life and speak into the young people's lives to help them. So that's a it's a real plus to what we do as a church because you're helping. But here's what people want to know. It's like a guy came up to me over the weekend, and uh I met him for the first time. I know his kids because his kids come around, and uh he's from Georgia, so he comes over, and the first thing out of his mouth was, Wow, your family is so involved, your kids are involved in the ministry. You must be so proud.
And I am, mom is, but here's what people are always asking how did you guys do it?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, you know, I asked that question.
SPEAKER_04So let's go back to the early years. What was it like uh in the home before we get to church, before you get involved in church, want to be a part of church? Yeah, okay. What was going on in the home at an early age that made you want to get involved? That's gonna help other people say, all right, this is how I can help set the atmosphere of my home so my kids will follow in my footsteps.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, I think first everything we did was church. Every conversation, every event we went to, um, every person that came over, everybody, everything was linked to church. And that was a big deal for us. And number one, yes, it's because that was our our living, that's what we did, that was our call. That was not just you and mom's call. It was because it was y'all's, it was ours too, and we took that on as kids. But everything, I mean, even at school, I was talking about church, and yeah, it just it followed us everywhere. So it was really in our bones as a kid. But I remember we would sit around the dining room table for dinner, and um, it was a special time that we would all come home, and you guys would come home from work, and we'd come from home from school, and we'd be having dinner together, and you go down the the list of what your day was like. And almost every conversation was about church.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And some of the conversations were tough conversations about decision making, but every conversation was this is what God is doing in our church, and this is what God is doing through us, and this is where God is taking our church. And what I loved about it was our family. To this day, we're doing that, but even when we were young, I mean, when I was like eight years old, and then Chris at that time was probably, I'm not gonna do the math right now, maybe 16, I think. And so from that age range, all of us were in different ministries, even at that age. And Chris was helping in the youth at that time, and Steph was a part of the youth. And I think Lauren and I were in children's ministry, and I always just thought I had a job. I mean, remember, I wanted to be the copy girl when I was 13. I wrote him a resume to be the copy girl. Do you remember the list or the letter?
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01So I always wanted a part. So even in the children's ministry, I would, we'd all have come together with what we thought of church that day. So, like on a Sunday for lunch, we'd all come together with what we experienced. And I always just wanted to be a part of the conversation. And not because I felt left out, but because it was just so exciting and it was so um fruit-bearing. And you I could see the passion in you and mom, and I could see the passion even as Chris was growing up. I saw it in him. And I remember sitting at the table as the youngest thinking, oh, I want this. Like I want that same excitement that all of them have for the church. I want to be able to add to the conversation. I'm a talker, you know. I wanted to be able to, I know, right? But I wanted to be able to add even my own input from the ministries that I would work in or I experienced even the children's ministry. They would say, Worship was great today. Dad, mom would say, Oh yeah, your sermon was great. And I'd say, Well, the nursery did amazing. Just because I wanted, I wanted to be a part of it. But it all started at that dinner table experience because we just discussed it so much.
SPEAKER_04Did
you ever feel like this is mom and dad's ministry, or did you always feel like it was our ministry?
SPEAKER_01It was always ours.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Number one, you and mom were very intentional with making it that. You never wanted it to be the parents, and then those are the kids. And you you never gave us too much. You never spoiled us with, you never gave us titles we didn't deserve, you never gave us jobs that we didn't deserve. You always, you both always had us earn those titles and those responsibilities. But when it came to the calling and the vision and the path and where we're heading, it was always the six of us are going there. And you trusted that at our appointed time that God would call us out for that ministry and for this ministry. And we always just went along. And that's where even all those years of pastor's appreciation, that the church made it a point that they honored you and mom, but they always honored us. I mean, there's photos of us as kids in the old building, and we're opening gifts of like Barbies on stage in front of everybody because the church would not only honor you guys, but would honor us for leading. And you always involved us, even building projects, um, anything that any vision that the Lord showed you and mom and the the vision that you're gonna take the church, you always shared it with us before you shared it with the church.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you always brought us in. And that's just what I loved about it. To this day, he does that. Like to this day, you share it with us as a family, and then you take it to our church people.
SPEAKER_04You remember the uh show we were watching, Yellowstone. We loved Yellowstone, right? And of course, Kevin Cosner is the head of this big uh empire of his uh land and all that goes into it. And there was one episode where he was being recognized and honored at an event, and he's dressed in his tuxedo with his black cowboy hat on, and he's there being, you know, toasted and honored for what he did. And he takes the honor and then he goes back to his seat and he sits down and he's by himself. Wow. And you remember that episode, none of his family showed up to be a part of it. They all had their own drama, they all had their own thing, and he's looking around the table, and everybody's talking to one another, and he's looking and feeling like, man, this is it's nice to be honored and recognized, but this is really empty without my family around me. Yeah, and Gabs, I can tell you from day one, I knew that this could not just be dad's thing. Yeah, this could not be an event where dad would be honored, or just where mom would be honored. Yeah, uh, this had to be our family. Yeah, I just don't know what is more fulfilling and rewarding than having the family being honored or recognized or just a part of something that uh it brings so much fulfillment to our life. And I would say, as a a father and and minister and pastor, uh I'm I'm totally fulfilled in what I do. Why wouldn't I want that for you? Yeah if it fulfills me, how much more will it fulfill mom, Chris, Steph, Lauren, and you? I knew it would. I know it is. That's the ministry, that's our business that we're called to, yeah, and how unique is it? So it's pretty it it's it should be pretty intentional that we have to make the family feel a part of what we're doing.
SPEAKER_01Because it can't be dad's thing, it can't just be mom's thing, it has to be our thing, yeah, the families, and it has to start when they're young, yeah, and not when they're just teenagers. I think that was quickly that was the thing that really got us. It wasn't, it was dad's thing up until he started to notice that we had it in us, and then he used us. You prayed and you and mom prayed and believed that this is what what is in us is in our children. Just like your blood is my blood. You believed the anointing that you had and the passion and the the call of God, your children had that too. So when we were kids, you you raised us in that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, and some people don't think that way. No, it's they live these separate lives, and it's either a job or a career, and then there's home. Um, we have to, if we want our kids to follow in any example that we want to set before them, okay? If we want them to follow in it, it's got to be a healthy example. Yes. And then you need to invite them in. If we don't invite them in, then other people are gonna invite them into their worlds.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_04And if you're talented and you're gifted, I just know this. I want you to be on my team in our ministry, where we're giving our life to and sacrificing. Why would I want somebody else to hire you away?
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04So I I wouldn't want that. I want you to use your gifts and talents to be able to uh bless and build and complement what we're building, which then meant when we were around those tables, okay, there were things we could share with you, but there is also things we couldn't
share with you.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04We had to talk more about the wins, W-I-N-S, not the losses.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Because we had some downtimes and we had some losses and we went through some hard times. But how often do you remember us ever talking about those things, Gabby?
SPEAKER_01The hard times or the good times? The hard times. Oh my gosh. I, if I took away anything from the hard times, it was never what it was about. It was never how we all spoke. It was how you guys handled those times. That's what I remember. I don't, I cannot tell you when, when or what happened at that time, but I can say, okay, I don't really know how or who was involved. But I remember that dad all he called all of us in and said, Hey guys, this happened, and this is how we're handling it. And then you would say, Mary, do you want to say anything? And mom would say, Okay, this happened. And girls, and she would tell us girls, even as as women young women, how we handled this. You guys always I don't remember the the stuff that happened, but I remember how we went about it.
SPEAKER_04And I say that and ask you that question, just kind of throw it at you here because sometimes we don't realize that if we're always complaining about people that we're working with, yeah, or about the challenges that we're facing, we could turn our kids off to what we're asking them to get involved in. And then all they do is talk about the problems. And I know in my line of work, there's plenty of leaders that when they power down after a service and they bring their family around for lunch or something, they're so absorbed with the negative that happened or person that caused them problems that they want to talk about that stuff. And I don't care what line of work you're in, there's always going to be problems, and there's always gonna be disgruntled people, disgruntled employees, yeah, people that fail you, people that say things negative about you. But we had a rule in our house, and we had a rule about certain people that if their name kept coming up, we wouldn't. I was usually the one that brought their name up. What am I talking about?
SPEAKER_01If you if someone's name came up too many times in our house, then there was an issue, and we were gonna stop talking about it. And instead of talking about it, we were gonna handle it. That's right. And that was how you and I remember being the person that brought somebody's name up too much. And I never wanted to handle it. And you would say, that's it. I've listened to you girls complain and complain, we're doing something about it. And once dad got involved, it was like, oh God, it's final and this is gonna be bad. But what, like I said earlier, you showed us how to handle the things. And I think when moms and dads come home and they're talking, they're complaining about the business, or if also they're in ministry and they come home and they're complaining about the worship leader who didn't make it on time for service. If that's what you're focusing on, your kids aren't. I think parents think their kids are sitting back and saying, okay, so that's not, we shouldn't do that. We're learning from people's, from people's faults. No, your kids are seeing how you're coming home and talking negatively. And they're seeing what you're doing, not what you're saying. And they're seeing that you're disappointed that the worship leader was there late or you're disappointed. Sorry. It's time to eat.
SPEAKER_04It's time to eat. We'll fix that in the postmaster. Don't worry, we'll fix that. Leave it in there. We're eating. Alan popped in. Love it. Alan's here. So continue. Do you go with what you were saying?
SPEAKER_01Yes, I do always. Um, no, your kids are seeing what you're doing when you get home. And they're not listening to the words as much as they're seeing how your attitude is and and how you're speaking to them and how the the the spirit that you carry. If you're getting to the dinner table or the lunch table after or the dinner table after work and you're like, okay, let's eat, you know, today was just so hard. And then you want your kids to speak up and say how their day was, that's not, it doesn't work that way. Your kids won't respond.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Because they're watching you and seeing what you're doing, not necessarily what you're saying.
SPEAKER_04I want to go back to what we what I meant by that whole
thing. If somebody's name comes up too often, what we would find is because our line of work is always involving people, um, we would have people problems. Happens in every organization, every family. Yeah. Yeah, people problems. The point being, if that name of the individual that one of you were having problems with kept coming up, then it showed me that we weren't resolving our issue.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Because we may have people problems, but people are why we have our ministry.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04We do this, yes, God's called us to it, but God's called us to shepherd his people.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04And people are gonna have issues. People have problems, people are never the problem.
SPEAKER_01Exactly.
SPEAKER_04But we can make them the problem, we can make them an enemy, we can make them uh a case against them and judge them the wrong way. And yet we're people in our line of work that's supposed to be helping people be their very best. Yeah, so what good does it do to keep
talking over and over again about somebody and make them out to become an enemy? Yeah, because we can do that.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04When in reality, what we can do on occasion is we can vent. When we vent about a person, we're just saying this happened. Yep. And now because we work together and we have even different viewpoints, because we may see a person in different uh rooms per se, and that which means then we see them under different circumstances, as we share, we're not gossiping. No, we are just processing, yes, not gossiping, no, processing, processing, so that then the family could give input, which then helps us bring a resolve. So if a person's name came up four, five, six times, yeah, that meant the person who keeps bringing their name up isn't doing their part to bring a resolve.
SPEAKER_01And the person that we say is a problem now were the problem. I think that's where you were always, because we kept bringing them up and bringing them up. The girls and I, we created this thing, you know how we have the venting machine, and we call it the venting machine, where you're only allowed to open it once about one problem. And you put your quarter in and you get it one drink. That's it. And you get one venting session, and the rules are everybody around the venting session gets to say, Oh, I know it's so hard. They're not allowed to correct us. But once we're done with that session, you're done. And you can't bring it up again. You can't.
SPEAKER_04What can we vent a venting machine?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. I created that line. Is it on Amazon? I know. Every family, go home right now. Create it for yourself. But it's because when you are making somebody a problem, if you're saying, oh, this person's a problem, you will soon soon turn into the problem because you're not handling the issue that's at hand.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you always taught us handle it, nip it in the butt, get rid of it, not get rid of the person, but find the issue. Deal with the issue. What's the root of the issue? Ask them how they're doing, and don't just keep piling on with all the problems.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. That turns you off to the ministry. If all you see is problems, it's going to turn you off as a young lady to the ministry and you're saying, Man, I'll just go ahead and do something else. I'll go sing or I'll go work a you know, serve coffee at Starbucks or something. And we never wanted that. It had to be first because it was sin.
SPEAKER_02Come on.
SPEAKER_04We can't be out of one side of our mouth trying to bless people on Sunday and then curse them all during the week because we're having problems with them.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_04We can't do that. That's an unhealthy environment for any kind of uh guidance that you want to give to the kids. The people are never the problem.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_04We know we have an enemy of our soul always trying to disrupt things. Uh people have issues way before they ever came to get involved in us, yeah. You know, in our line of work. And so they come with their all their own set of issues. Who are we to think we can change them?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And we have our own issues.
SPEAKER_04We oh come on, you know. We can say that too loud, please. Because mom's gonna pile on when you start pointing the finger at me. Golly.
SPEAKER_01I love how we becomes you.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, that's about it. Thank you so much for us. Now it's you, Dad. That's your issue. Thank you very much. Um, okay, another question I want to ask you, Gabs, because uh you have a gift, and it's not the one you're in your mind thinking I'm gonna compliment you on. It's a gift that we noticed when you were young. Okay, and we started to encourage
it, and we'd go to you for certain things because you had this unique gift of knowing everybody's name.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I think you're gonna say food. Oh, because that too.
SPEAKER_04You know everybody's name. Yeah. That's crazy. Because that knowing the name, you're like the the the Rolodex in the old days where you just go to the A's and find somebody's name. You you were a directory.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I'm the breeze of Metro.
SPEAKER_04You're the breeze of Metro. There you go. So when we were talking about somebody, if we didn't know their name, we say, hey Gabby, yeah, who's that person with the bald head that's calling Skippy that plays the keyboards on Sundays? Alan Paul!
SPEAKER_01Alan, Alan, it's not Marcus. Well, I just need to know give me where do they sit on a Sunday? Yeah that's all I need to know. Give me the family, who's their kid, what is their is like, give me some of their mannerisms, and I it just sticks with me.
SPEAKER_04And then you stay you you do it from the children's ministry too, because this was something I said we noticed early on, because when we would mention somebody, you would tell us what their kids look like and that their kids were in the children's ministry, and you knew them by name.
SPEAKER_01It's it's a but I'm grateful for it. Yeah, especially working with youth now. I never, unless their the girls' names are Sophia and Isabella, because everybody's a Sophia and Isabella, but yeah, I could always remember it. I'm grateful for it because now on a Wednesday I'm like, oh my gosh, Dre and Zach and and Ah, the I just know them, and it helps because that builds the connection with them.
SPEAKER_04Oh, that is tremendous. That is. Uh I I've read a book like three times. I can't remember the name of the book, but it was a book about reviewing. I still can't remember all that, but you were the go-to, which showed me early on, Gabs. Okay. I know you can sing and you do a great job. And you really are, you have a gifting for that. And we're thankful for where you're at, and we feel comfortable throwing you the ball at any time in the middle of the game when it comes to singing, because you can really help out. Now, as you get older, you get better and better and better. But early on, though I knew you were a singer, just because you could recommend people's names, I also knew you had a shepherding gift because you were aware of people, not just notes, not just music, you were aware of people, which then as a pastor, yeah, as your father, it was then my job to help direct you towards where you are strongest. And it became evident that you have that going for you, as well as the singing. Now, Steph, I don't know if she remembers anybody's name, but she's great when it comes to getting up there and singing.
SPEAKER_01She can write a song like nobody's business.
SPEAKER_04She's doing a great job at her age. I mean, that's great. Yeah. But we know from that gift that started to manifest itself early on when she had her little guitar.
SPEAKER_01She can make up people's names, like lyrics.
SPEAKER_04And even certain English words she comes up with, adds them in the dictionary as we go along. But um she she had her area of gifting, and I could see early on that you had your area of gifting, which then brings us to where you're at today, being able to call off these young kids' names. Um, and you're ministering to them as a youth director. Yeah. You are living in a way where some of these precious kids come running up to you on Sunday to, you know, embrace you, hug you, grab your leg. Yeah. They the uh families, the Rossi girls.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_04Just they draw little pictures for you and they hand them to you on Sunday, you and the family. Um, it's there already. It's it's where we start to see you going, and uh you feel called to this place because of it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Definitely. And I think the more I am on Wednesdays and Sundays and even Monday nights, how we have that, the more I'm around the people. There is a there's just, I mean, our church is based on relationship, our business is based on relationship. And that was something that it did come naturally to me. Relationships, it always came naturally. That wasn't something that I had to really strive to to figure out. Um, but the more I practice it and I'm around it and I'm learning new things and I'm getting to to pray over different people, the more I feel God is just, He keeps equipping me. And and now it's so funny because there's different things that I just know how to do, and it's because I've been watching you and mom do it for forever. Like that's I think every people are like, You have great instincts. And it's like, no, I have great parents because they're the ones speaking to me all the time. Like your words, y'all, your you and mom's words are constantly ringing in my head. When a situation happens, I look at you guys, I see how you guys do it. That's how we got through COVID with the youth. I saw how you did it, and I was like, okay, well, we're just gonna figure out our own youth version of how Metro is doing as a whole, and Metro youth followed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, but yeah, it's just something the more you practice, and and God graces you for that.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Well, you have it. It's great to have you alongside of us. You're the youngest bringing up the back of
the uh the journey here, and we're super, super proud of you and the way that you're handling. So I like to end with certain questions that we ask people. Okay. So uh you, of course, you've been in youth, now you're in youth. Uh, but you were uh in the children's ministry while uh you were small. You remember the time we left you in the car?
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_04That was cute.
SPEAKER_01I remember you left me in the car. Mom left me in a uh like one of those houses in Santa's Enchanted Forest. Because you had a lot of kids.
SPEAKER_04Yes, we did. Yes, we did.
SPEAKER_01What are you gonna do?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, we left you when we pulled up to church. You were sound asleep in the back of the car. We got out, packed up, went into church, and a few minutes later somebody says, Oh my god, Gabby's crying in the back of the car.
SPEAKER_01In the suburban, banging on the back window.
SPEAKER_04Okay, but you would then be whisked off to the children's ministry.
SPEAKER_03Yes.
SPEAKER_04When you were young. Okay, so you were known for something in the youth ministry. Excuse me, the children's ministry.
SPEAKER_03The children's ministry.
SPEAKER_04What were you known for in the children's ministry? What was your rep?
SPEAKER_01Was this what we talked about earlier? Pearly whites with my chompers over here. I had a biting problem. And I don't know why. And I think I just got it, wasn't excitement. I was just mad. I mean, when you're the pastor's kid, you run those streets in children's ministry, and you feel like, yeah, I remember Addison, poor Addison Gomez. He and I would go at it. No, oh my gosh, all the time.
SPEAKER_04No, biters?
SPEAKER_01Biters. Well, I would bite him. Apparently, I bit John, but that's just weird to me.
SPEAKER_04I don't know. I don't remember anything. Well, we sent you to BA Biters Anonymous, and you finally stopped biting people. Well, listen, this has been a great time to be able to share and hear it from Gabby yourself about how the family business continues to go from one generation to the next. And I hope today you were encouraged.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for listening to the Family Business Podcast with the LSEs. We appreciate you listening and learning with us as we just shared more about the family business. You know, I bet there's someone you know who could use this kind of advice and encouragement. So make sure to share this episode with them and their family because let's face it, family is everyone's business. If you want to be a part of our family, subscribe to the show right now on your favorite app and make sure to download the episodes so you can hear them at any time. Oh, and one more thing one of the best ways to help us spread the word about the family business with the Alesssies is by reviewing the show on Apple Podcasts or your favorite app. So help us out, write a review, and join us next time at the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies.