Welcome to another episode of the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies, where we talk about things we cannot talk about on Sunday, and we love to talk about families being everybody's business.
SPEAKER_01Very good, Mary Alessie. I was a little not as good as you do it, but I did it. So what are we going to talk about today?
SPEAKER_02Oh my goodness. Oh my goodness. Date night.
SPEAKER_01Oh, really?
SPEAKER_02Romance and marriage.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Are we going to talk about that? We are. This is actually the questions um podcast where people are able to go in and send us questions. These are some of the questions they sent. These are some of the questions that they sent, and you can send us some of those questions at the AlesiFamily Business.com website. That is really cool. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But you could send your questions in because I've listened to a lot of podcasts that I don't necessarily like the topic they're talking about. And even though I like the person, I'm like, eh, this is really cool that we're doing this. Yeah. So if they have questions, if you have questions, send them in.
SPEAKER_01We have active listeners. We do. It's really nice. Very good. I love it. Very proud of what we're doing. Yep. And uh, since we can't always uh deal with these things on Sunday, which is when we greet the crowd, uh, we are able to do it right here during our podcast. So we'll get into the nitty-gritty of things. This one's gonna focus now, because it's family, on the marriage, okay, on the relationship that you and I have. How are we doing with that? How many how many years have we been married? You tell me. Is this 34? 34.
SPEAKER_02Was October? Did we? Yes. It's because it's coming up on 34 in October, just a few months away. I think we're doing great. Gosh, that's a life. I love you more today than I did yesterday. Yes. That was the song from our wedding, but
whatever.
SPEAKER_01Cool. So here's a question that somebody wants to ask us. Here's the question. Okay. Now remember, we work together. Oh boy. We live together.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_01All right. All of it. And we got a nice sized family. Four kids. Okay. Here's the question. What to do when family issues leak into your marriage? Oh boy. What do we do? What have we done? What are some of the family issues that we have had to deal with over the years that have uh had the tendency to leak into our marriage?
SPEAKER_02Well, we've we've had parental issues that have leaked in when we first got married. And even from great parents like we had, we had to learn to manage those. Yep. Um, dealing with my mom and dad's divorce when we first got married was really hard. Yep. Um, my mom and I talk uh regularly when we get together about those years and how she had so many fears from her situation that she projected into my life, and she's been so open about how wrong that was. So there's, you know, been that. I think also just when you're raising kids, your perspective of how those kids should be raised. Raising children is a real, real mountain for parents. That's when you that's when you really start to decide, even in the little things, if we agree on how we should raise these kids.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And then as they get older, oh boy.
SPEAKER_01And the stress of what we do in our business. Oh, yeah. In the ministry. Yeah. Running church, uh, staff. Because we take everything that we do here, we take it home. So the question is, how do we keep it from leaking into our marriage?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. I will say we've learned along the way. We did not get this from jump. We have figured it out along the way. We've, and I like to say this whenever I'm on this podcast, we've we stay in the seat of students and learners. And we try never to reach this plateau that we know it all, because, and we aren't counselors or psychologists, but we've learned a lot from ministry and watching what people do that we like, what people do that we're like, well, that don't work, and applying those things to our lives. And for our relationship, we've had to do that in different categories, even in working together, um, understanding that we communicate differently, completely differently. And I could say green and you hear red, and you could say blue and I hear pink. And we had to learn if we're gonna work together and be like-minded in this, that there were certain roles that we had to fulfill. And I I can only speak for me, you can cut me off at any time. But when we first started the church together, I had had a job downtown, and then we worked for your mom and dad, and I had the music, and you, you know, administrated the church, you were the co-pastor with your dad. But when we started our church together and we were the pastors, the expectations completely changed. Yeah, but I didn't get the memo. I didn't understand. Oh, your coffee's here. Oh, good. So I didn't get the memo that serving you coffee would have been a nice gesture. No, I'm just kidding.
SPEAKER_01Marcus is delivering coffee. The man. And he's gonna charge my computer here. Go for it.
SPEAKER_02And he's our number one fan. Did you know that? He's our top listener. He is because our staff is forced to listen to our podcast. Okay. While he's doing that and setting you up, we love you, Marcus. I will say that working together, if I could go back and I could have learned from my mistakes in the event of working together. Oh, there's Ashley. Hi, Ashley. She's here too. It would probably be to be wife at home and co-worker employee in the office and not try to be wife in the office.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02That was really hard for me. I was so immature, I did not realize that I had to separate those two roles. I could be wife at home, but when I came to work, I had to put on the hat of serving and working and getting your laptop charger for you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02The little things. Seriously, though, that that's something that I got hung up on when we first started. I did not, I just wanted it to be, I'm Mary and you're Steve, and you're not going to talk to me that way. And my husband's never. I didn't realize that separating those lines when we're in the office, taking on more of a professional mindset. And I don't have to be that at home, but at work, I have to be professional. Yeah. Um, I wish I'd learned that earlier because it brought definitely brought conflict to our marriage because we couldn't deal with it in the office. We dealt with it on the drive home.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And I remember just from a working perspective, um, I had to make a decision. What do I want?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Do I want an employee at home or do I want a wife at home? Right. And I learned real quick that a happy wife was so much better than an employee at home. So I needed to treat you like my wife, even though we work together. Right. And not overwhelm the relationship because it's a working relationship. Sure. The working relationship was the husband and wife. And we couldn't change that. We could change the employment relationship. Yeah. Meaning that if the church got in a financial position where we couldn't both be hired and or you were done, you were tired with doing what you did with the music, and you're like, you know what, I don't want to do that anymore. We could change that part of the relationship. Or, hey, I don't want to do this job anymore, Mary. I'm done with this. I'm giving it to so-and-so to do. I can change those job responsibilities with the employee setup, but I couldn't change the marital one. No. That one, we're like, no, that one's going to be a keeper. Right. We got to keep that one. So we had to say, um, even though we were driven for success and accomplishment, when we were working together, we also had to say, wait a minute, the success of this ministry is not near as important as the success of our marriage. Right. So quit being so heavy, so hard, uh, so so pressure filled. We we don't need that because as they say, a happy wife. Happy life. Yep. So that helped us. We had to say from the work, let's not let it leak into our marriage. Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And all that it was a struggle. Oh, yes, it was. Again, 34 years. Right. And we've worked together. How old is the church? 23. 24, yeah. 24. And we've worked together, we're coming up on 24. We've worked together since day one. So we've been co-workers on staff together for 24 years. Prior to that, what about eight or nine years together?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And that was was different because all we've known is each other. All we've ever known is working together. And I was, I had my own office and you had your own job description. And we had a boss.
SPEAKER_01Oh, that was the worst.
SPEAKER_02And that was hard. That was your mom and dad.
SPEAKER_01And I felt the pressure of making sure you were a perfect employee and put so much pressure on you and on the relationship. Where again I had to make a decision: wait a minute, man, I want a happier wife than I do a happier dad and mom.
SPEAKER_02That's right. And that's where we had to apply what we taught our kids, and we are teaching our kids that the voices of mom and dad, once you're married, this is to protect your marriage and that role of in union. It's what you two think together. It's not the boy, you can't just keep trying to please dad or try to please mom. That's gonna hurt and erode your relationship.
SPEAKER_01You know, John Roman's in here, and him and his wife work together in the ministry. John and Jackie.
SPEAKER_02How many years now, John?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I've been on staff 20 years. She's been with us 15. Yeah. So they work together, they raise kids together here at they're homeside. They have to be very sensitive about making sure things don't overlap uh into their marriage. Right. Armando, though his wife's not here every day, he does have that where he's got to make sure when he goes home and she shows up to church on Sunday, they're happy. Right. So he can't let things leak into their marriage. Chris and Michelle right now, they're all in this. Yeah. Especially as we work together. It is going to be harder working together. Oh, it is. And living together, being married. But the good boundaries will help protect the marriage so that whatever's going on outside doesn't leak into the marriage.
SPEAKER_02Okay, I want to say this because I think this applies to whether or not you work together or you don't. But something that you taught a couple of our staff members that has really been a policy of our church that if you work for our church, don't go home and share with your partner, your spouse, any negatives that happened in the office. Leave that at the office. Don't take it home because they have to go to this church too. Yeah. And you don't want what happened in the day, your frustrations, things that you may get confused or misconstrued, or maybe your correction was wrong. I mean, whatever it is.
SPEAKER_01Okay, get specific because this is this is really good advice here. It's wisdom. Yes. The point is your husband or wife works at the church that you attend or works at a company that you want to be serviced by. Right. And then that spouse of yours that works for them comes home and dumps on you. We're telling them to not do what?
SPEAKER_02Don't talk bad about your workplace. Yeah. Do not discuss it. You know, the truth is. Why? Well, because you'll turn their heart and you're going to get over it.
SPEAKER_01You're going to deal with it. And then from the church's perspective, it's so bad because this is the place you're supposed to be going to get spiritually fed and nourished. And you cut them off from the bigger. You're mad at the pastor, you're mad at the worship leader because during the week you had a disagreement, and then you show up to church and you've got this prejudice in your heart, an argument against them, and you're like, wow, I can't receive from them.
SPEAKER_02You can't receive. You cut out, you cut that off. I will say we've been very blessed with staff that have taken you at that word, and they've done that. And they're very honoring of that because that's the last thing they want. They also have to cut off this is my job, but it's also my place of ministry and my place of blessing. Yeah. And it's God's mouthpiece in my life, is my pastor and my boss. So it can be done. You can separate those things. So now move that into okay, you don't work for the church, but you and your spouse work side by side in something. Leave it at the workplace. Don't bring it home. There has to be a separation between we work together and then we live together and really clear lines. You had it. We we started drawing those lines a few years into our relationship. It got tough. We were talking about this the other night, how it's so easy to spend so much energy discussing as a married couple all the negative things that are happening during the day. And then there's nothing left for you together as a husband and wife.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because you've just eaten up all this energy and all this time. And we were saying this in the car going home. For every minute you spend slicing and dicing the negative of the job or the workplace or whatever it is you're working on together is a minute that you are subtracting and taking away from vision building and dreaming together. And this, when you're negative all the time, even if you're in agreement, you know, you're you're chewing it up at night, and we need to tell her this and she needs to fix that, and we got to fix this structure, and that's got to change, and you need to get better with this, and you need to get better with that. All of that does is erode a positive atmosphere in your home and in your bedroom. And then you really, you can't, you don't get to turn it off. And then how do you turn romance on? It's very difficult to do there. The human mind is not equipped to do that. But this leads to all kinds of stress and frustration and irritation, which could lead to even your relationship will get lost in it. Whereas the other brings unity, brings joy, brings peace, brings excitement. And you're not so focused on the negative because you're dreaming about tomorrow. Yeah. But you have to intentionally say, okay, we've talked about it too long. You've done that for years. We're done. Yep. We're done. We've talked about it enough. Moving on.
SPEAKER_01Got it. Yeah, so important, Mary. And that's all such great advice. We can go on and on. Matter of fact, I think this requires just another podcast in itself. Yeah. How to protect that marriage. Because I guess the the answer to that question, how to keep the life's issues from leaking into your marriage is you protect the marriage and roles. And all those problems are going to be there when you're wake up in the marriage.
Okay, which then brings us to this. You mentioned romance. And one question was how do you keep romance flowing with so much going on with such a big family?
SPEAKER_02Wow. I'm answering this question first. Yeah, I like being a very important thing.
SPEAKER_01You're putting me on the spot. Yes. Thank you, whoever asked that question. I want to hear it from Mary herself. How do you keep the romance, Mary?
SPEAKER_02Well, you know, in my experience, yes, having had four children, I think you really what has worked for us is valuing our alone time and making sure that that was priority. It wasn't always because we would get caught up with other things. Just life and exhausted and pushing, driving, yeah. Everything. And and and and yes, you know, always trying to achieve the higher levels. Meanwhile, the most important thing that awaits us is the relationship we have with our spouse. How much energy have we put into that relationship? And one thing we've learned after all these years of being in ministry together, working together, and I'm in my 50s and you're 60, we've realized more than ever how invaluable we are. We can't do this without one another, and we wouldn't want to. So the ebbs and flows of life, it all circles back. And the one you started with is the one you end with. Hopefully, it's who you're doing it for. And you don't want to neglect it along the way so that when you get to the end of that point in your life, you go, I don't even like you. There's nothing here. And to keep that romance alive, I think it has to be top of mind that it's the most important thing, more than your children.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because if mom and dad aren't together and aren't happy, you can stay together, but your kids get have it figured out, you're not getting along and you're struggling in your relationship. And you want to, you want to model what romance and a good, healthy mom and dad relationship look like. So I'm we are not date night people.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02We have never been, we have a date every Thursday night. Yeah. We we grab our moments as much as we can because we have to value that date night might not happen. Date night might turn into, for us in ministry, a funeral or a viewing or uh a counseling session. It can always change. So we make sure that we set aside a time for us to not reconnect, but never allow ourselves to get to that place where we don't feel connected. And there's a lot of resources on how to do that. But the I think the most important value is that you realize if you don't do it, you're gonna lose it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, I'm proud of you because you didn't get splotchy. Usually when you address certain issues when you get nervous, your neck breaks out in little red splotches. Well, this is definitely Well, you said romance.
SPEAKER_02Were we supposed to talk about this?
SPEAKER_01Because the talking about the romance, keeping in the marriage, yes, sex is a part of that. It is. And uh one thing I I need uh at least Sunday, Monday, uh I I need to connect with you on the romance.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And romance is the word for sex here. I I need to code for sex. I need now everybody's gonna know what happens on Sundays when we pray at church and preach and sing and get drained emotionally. I need romance um at that point. It's just from it's it's a it's a welcome release of all that is built up in me that then helps me connect with you personally after trying to connect with God, trying to connect with people. It's so important that I get that connection time with you.
SPEAKER_02And I think that's most men.
SPEAKER_01Yep. When they go through high stress environments, it's welcomed, it's needed. And I remember a guy years ago, you know, just because a man has a healthy sex drive, some women want to complain, oh man, it's too much. People want to make them out to be perverted almost, even as a person that has a relationship with God. How could he be so into that? You know, why does he need it so much? Well, every day I wake up and I eat breakfast, and then at noontime I have lunch, and then at dinner time, I have dinner. Nobody looks at me and says, Oh my gosh, what's wrong with you? Right. That you're hungry every so many hours. Why do you got to eat healthy? Absolutely. It is a healthy appetite. So, what that means is because I appreciate that. Physically speaking, I got to take care of myself.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And you got to take care of yourself. Right. If we're going to keep romance alive, the the temple of the Holy Spirit. Our bodies don't spiritualize it, make it weird. The bodies, we want to take care of our bodies. No, we do. We want to look good for each other. We we have to take care of ourselves because when we take care of ourselves, we feel good about ourselves. And that helps us when we're romantic.
SPEAKER_02You know what I think is so funny that all these years has taught us both and has certainly taught me. What do couples use?
SPEAKER_01You interrupted my flow, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_02Really? You look like you were coming to the all right, go ahead. Finish. Nope. Because I lost. Did you lose it? Uh-huh. It's gone. It's gone. Go ahead. Now you lost yours. I know. See, we're too old for this, Steve. You can't do that to me. I was trying to help you. I was trying to support your thoughts.
SPEAKER_01Ashley is blushing over in the corner right here.
SPEAKER_02Oh my love. She's in the corner in the dark. You're learning so much, girl. No, honestly, what couples end up in the counseling rooms over is the fact that they've stopped having sex. And you've never met a couple that kept having sex and their marriage was still miserable. It doesn't work that way. They're miserable and they stopped having sex a year ago. Yeah. So when you it's like, uh-huh. Don't stop having sex with each other. Yeah. That's key. Stay connected physically, and you will stay connected emotionally and spiritually in every possible way. Does that help you? Did that get you back on the flow? It's gone, but go ahead.
SPEAKER_01I don't want to embarrass you anymore.
SPEAKER_02I'm not embarrassed. I can handle this. But I will say that in relation to what you're saying about men not feeling ashamed of their sex drive, women, we do that, which I find very interesting, and all every woman does it. What we what it takes to get a man, and in the beginning stages of the relationship, when kids come around and we it depletes us more, and our bodies aren't necessarily for the bedroom anymore. They're for these kids and kids hanging off on you. It really does take intentionality to say, I have to make this priority because it matters to my spouse. Maybe even if it matters more to him than it does to me, I've got to make sure that he is cared for in this area.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's good.
SPEAKER_02And he you he should not be shamed for wanting to be with you.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. If the man's not eating at home, he's tempted to eat elsewhere. So it's good that you feed him good. And it's good for her that emotionally, what sex is so meaning to me, why it's so what is so important about sex to me, um uh that emotional connection with you is important to you. Right. You need to feel that emotional connection, that that romance, that that communication, uh feeling good, the compliments, your your self-esteem, constantly working on that through uh the accomplishments that you have together and the complice accompliments that are given. Yeah, uh, that's important for you. So you feeling secure about life in general, money, housing, communicating, everything, the marriage. That's that's as as important to you as sex is to me at this season. So it's a give and take. You know, we talk about I gotta eat right, I gotta take care of myself. If I gotta do a little tuck here, a little work there on the skin to make sure. I mean, yeah, like last night, I put a little face mask on you.
SPEAKER_02That was very nice.
SPEAKER_01That just to help you with your skin. I loved it. I know how important that is to you. Yeah, and I put it on me sometimes. It doesn't look as good on me.
SPEAKER_02Hey, babe, hey, babe, your skin looks amazing.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay, thank you. So, all of that is so important because we're focusing on each other. Yeah. Romance is about let me focus on you.
SPEAKER_02That's it.
SPEAKER_01And thankfully, we've also had this is where great community and support group, friendship, and in our case, our church family, why it's so important to be connected with other people. This church family, on a number of occasions, people have stepped up and sent you and I away just to go hang out with ourselves, maybe our family, but just you and I getting alone, we go up to one of the reasons we got our farm is it helps us get away from the hustle and bustle of South Florida, from our phones, from all of that, and just be able to focus on ourselves. That's right. That's huge if we're gonna keep the romance alive, which
then brings me that this another question. They're asking us about the joy of aging together. How are we keeping this fun as we age together?
SPEAKER_02Wow. I can tell you right now, in the season that we're in, for me, it's probably been the funnest between you and me that we've had so far. And when we look back at our the other day, we looked at our our uh wedding video and we looked at our honeymoon video. And I do not want to go back and be that girl. You could not pay me a million dollars to go back and be that girl. Yeah. Because you could see in every shot where you had the camera on me constantly. I was so annoyed. I was just annoyed. It's our honeymoon. I'm like, stop, stop, stop. I mean, like the whole time. My God, she's annoying. But I but this definitely is, and I thought that season was fun. I thought having kids was fun, but this season of you and me really putting each other first and finding the joy in it. And I know it's it's not easy for you. I I know it's not always your want to. You would much rather go out into the woods and shoot something, but you definitely let me know that being with me is the most important and most fun thing that there is to do. And I believe you, you know, yeah, and and we really do work on having fun together. And part of that is certain conversations are off limits. Um, we know where the other's buttons are and we just don't push them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02So that we can enjoy the season and the time that we have together because we are getting older, but there's there's such a um a sensation, there's like this sense of we are winning. We're one of the few that made it to the mountain because the divorce rate is so high. You know, when we tell people we've been married 34 years, you would think we told them we've been married 55 years.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Because that's a huge accomplishment these days to be married a long time to the same person. And I'm so proud of that, but there is just a sense of we made it, we made it, you know. Yeah. We're together and we've done so much with our lives, and that just makes it like we weathered some serious storms and we're still here together. I could cry thinking about it. I know. And I wouldn't want to be with anybody else but you very sweet.
SPEAKER_01Well, let me let me spiritualize something for a minute. And I hope if you're not the spiritual kind, you can put up with this comment. But there's uh something in the Bible, there's a story in the Bible about two brothers that wanted to uh be uh elevated to uh a position of popularity because they wanted to be on Jesus' right hand and on his left. And he talks to them about uh what that looks like, and he he makes a statement. He says, Let him who wants to be the greatest be a servant.
SPEAKER_00Right.
SPEAKER_01And then there is that statement that says, For the first shall be last, and the last shall be first. And I told you a few weeks ago when we were on the porch as we were communicating and talking, which is what this podcast is like, us just talking in our living room on our back porch. And I told you what hit me when I read that. And um, so it may get a little emotional here. But I said, you know, at this season, when I when I read that part about the last shall be first, I really feel like at this season of my life, I've been elevated to first.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01At 60, yeah, I've been elevated to first. I got a son that's 30 who's knocking on the door. Yeah, preached a message this weekend that was crazy. I wasn't even there to hear it, but I'll hear it this summer, this Sunday. Um he's just at a place where he's blowing it up. Our our daughter finds that both of them find great spouses. I sure did. And our two younger daughters are uh celebrating this season of education and preparation. Um Lauren preparing herself for her, oh Alan's bringing in the tissue because we're over here.
SPEAKER_02We'll just take the whole box.
SPEAKER_01Lauren's at a place where she's pursuing her degree and uh her master's, and then Gabby finishing up at FIU and then leading our youth group so well. And I I just felt like that that phrase, the last shall be first, and the first, the first shall be last. I felt like at this season I've been elevated to first. Wow. Never felt that, Mare. Never felt first. Sure, I may be the head of an organization and a ministry like this, but never felt first. And then I heard God stir it up in my heart. Not that God speaks to me audibly, but I felt this impression and I saw this image. My life has I've tried to do this, though I'm a I know I'm a strong leader. Yeah, some call me controlling. So I know I'm a strong leader, and I know that I get in front of people and I talk and and lead the charge here at the ministry. But my my heart has been how can I serve the people of this church? Always. How can I serve our staff? Yeah, how can I serve my kids, and most importantly, how can I serve you? Yeah, that has been my heart's desire. And I think if people would focus on that, especially couples, especially the heads of corporations in their life, but let's bring it back to marriage. If a man could focus on serving his wife, not being run over by her, not being the weaker sex, no, no, no, but serving, yeah, sometimes being strong in his serving. If he can work on serving his wife, serving his family, then if he'll do that, put himself as last. Even though you've taken the lead, put yourself as last. Be sensitive to that. Doesn't always have to be your way. You don't always have to be number one. That's right. You don't always have to have the biggest Instagram or social media following. You don't always have to have the best number one song. You don't have to be able to preach the best and have the most popular sermon or the biggest and the best church. Don't always push to be number one just for the sake of saying, look what I've done, right? And being first. If you can focus on how can I, at this season of my life, serve my clients, serve my customers, serve my church, serve my family, if you'll do that and remain in a posture of strong humility, one day you're gonna wake up and say, Oh my gosh. At the latter years of my life, I'm feeling first.
SPEAKER_02Wow.
SPEAKER_01So with you and I, I think the way that we have been able to keep this fun and enjoy each other in our marriage.
SPEAKER_02In our aging, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Is we really have focused, especially as we've gotten older, on how can I serve Mary? How can I serve Steve? Absolutely. And babe, I've seen that in you. Because I've seen your your what used to be irritants when we were younger and you'd come out and we'd have big arguments about something, or be bothered and ignore each other, give each other the silent treatment, or want to disappear for an hour or two, take off and slam the door. I've seen those things when you would have been tempted to do it, you didn't.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01You backed off. Yeah. Because you were like, wait a minute, this isn't about me right now. That's right. Of course, it's taken 34 years.
SPEAKER_02Took a long time.
SPEAKER_01But we just didn't make the mistake of quitting two years, five years, ten years into this thing.
SPEAKER_02Because divorce was never an option, was never an option.
SPEAKER_01It was a temptation.
SPEAKER_02Temptation and option are not the same.
SPEAKER_01There are thoughts and there are days where you think there was no reason for divorce, but just because you're mad and hurt and disappointed, you wonder what tomorrow's gonna you, you you entertain my life would be better without.
SPEAKER_02Oh, absolutely. Or what would my life be like without them? Would it be better? And but when you really understand that the power of your relationship and the power of a healthy marriage is serving one another, and really what that looks like, that whole the last shall be first, the first shall be last, your marriage will become first. It will naturally have a propensity at the latter season of your life, which the truth is, we still have a lot more years to live. My mother used to say when I would get irritated with the kids making noise and being in the house, she'd say, Well, take it easy on them because there's a whole lot of years without them in the house than there are with them in the house. And when you're in the middle of that, you cannot even comprehend it. Of course, here we are, we've still got two at home, but they're never home. And the reality of that is true. You better nurture the Mr. and Mrs. Nurture one another so that when you get to this season of aging, you're each other's best friend. You can't imagine doing it without the other one. Because I really can't. And I'm watching God do in you because you did have a service-first mindset. You always, always have, whether it was misinterpreted by some, that was always your driving force to serve. And now in our relationship, it's so easy. Our marriage is so easy. And sometimes our kids will look at us and and want that, but we explain to them you work for it, you serve your way to this place. And it makes it look easy, but it's because we did the hard stuff.
SPEAKER_0134 years in the making. And we did it, and we stayed together. Yep, and wouldn't change it because now we can sit here at a podcast table, talk about how to do it, and hopefully inspire others to just find the right one, hang in there, fight the good fights, work hard together. That's right. That's good, embrace the ups and the downs, the disappointments, the highs, the celebration moments, all of that. Keep a relationship with God in place, stay connected to the local church, find good pastors that you can follow, and watch how life could really treat you well. So we hope today's questions and the answers that we have given you have been an encouragement. So thank you for joining us today on the Alesi Family Business Podcast.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for listening to the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies. We appreciate you listening and learning with us as we just shared more about the family business. You know, I bet there's someone you know who could use this kind of advice and encouragement. So make sure to share this episode with them and their family because let's face it, family is everyone's business. If you want to be a part of our family, subscribe to the show right now on your favorite app and make sure to download the episodes so you can hear them at any time. Oh, and one more thing one of the best ways to help us spread the word about the family business with the Alesssies is by reviewing the show on Apple Podcasts or your favorite app. So help us out, write a review, and join us next time at the Family Business Podcast with the Alesi.