Welcome to another edition, an episode of our Family Business Podcast with Steve and Mary Alesi, because family is everybody's business. And we're talking today about things that we dare not talk about on Sunday. Oh boy. We'd probably lose half our church if we had this real open, honest discussion that we're gonna have. And I'll kick it off for you in just a minute as to the title. But uh Mary, I'm having fun doing the um TFB. You see it on the screen over there? I saw that. The TFB standpoint.
SPEAKER_01The family podcast.
SPEAKER_02The podcast.
SPEAKER_01Podcast.
SPEAKER_02There you go. The family business, because everybody knows podcast is spelled with a B. Is that right? The family podcast. See what I did there? Yep, she's quick. So um it actually takes a nice little family to put this on. This is really cool that we're doing this. We have Jonathan in the room there, and sometimes he likes to come across like he uh he can talk to us. And then Alan Paul tries to come across like he can talk to us.
SPEAKER_01You mean like bosses around?
SPEAKER_02Boom. He'll just pop right in. Just pop in and talk. Oh, I see. I got it. And to talk. And then we got Alan Paul in the back. He's the brains. And the um he is the brains. He's really got a good heart for this. I love it and his knowledge. And then Ashley is inside on her cameras. And hopefully, yeah. If y'all are listening to this uh but not viewing it, there is a way that you can view it as well. So you may want to go ahead and check out what Pastor Mary's wearing today when you get to view it or her chewing.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, just eating a bar.
SPEAKER_02Nice bright pink shirt that I'm wearing today.
SPEAKER_01Very nice and pink.
SPEAKER_02That'll help some view this beautiful. Yeah. So, Mary, uh, I love this. This is like really the new spars you up. It really does. I know. It's like hunting all over again.
SPEAKER_01Oh boy.
SPEAKER_02It's my new thing.
SPEAKER_01But it's way cheaper.
SPEAKER_02That's true. But uh very excited about doing the podcast with you. So here's here's what we're trying to do since we want our podcast to be about families, not just working together in business, our business being ministry, but also the business of family, what happens when you're at home and how you're dialoguing and working out your marriage, working out raising the kids and handling all those things that go along with it. So uh today we're gonna make it a little bit more interpersonal. Um and the way we dialogue is husband and wife at home and communicate with each other. And we're not communication specialists here. No. So we're just gonna talk like where we live.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay.
SPEAKER_02And here's the title.
SPEAKER_01See the inside.
SPEAKER_02Got it. Here's the title of this podcast. You ready?
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02Here we go. I hate when you talk to me that way.
unknownOh my gosh.
SPEAKER_02Hmm. Yeah. You know that feeling? Do you know those words?
SPEAKER_01I'm I'm feeling those words right now.
SPEAKER_02You're feeling it, yeah. Yeah. This is why we can't talk about this on Sunday, because people would not like that we use the word hate. And they could not imagine you talking to me in such a way that would make it.
SPEAKER_01I hated when you talked to me that way.
SPEAKER_02They would not be able to imagine that. They'd be like, Pastor Steve. Oh my gosh, yes, because Pastor Mary has such a long fuse. Not true.
SPEAKER_01I you don't have a fuse.
SPEAKER_02You don't have a fuse.
SPEAKER_01I I have a fuse.
SPEAKER_02You do.
SPEAKER_01I just don't let anybody see it.
SPEAKER_02So here's where this came up.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_02In our bathroom, uh, it's set up where on one side of the bathroom you have your vanity. Yeah. On the other side is my vanity. Yep. And we have two big mirrors in front of our vanities, and we can look in our mirrors and see each other bending over when we're brushing each other, the teeth, right? It's stupid.
SPEAKER_01So we see the backs of each other's heads.
SPEAKER_02We see the backs of each other's heads. So we'll get into conversations sometimes and when we're at our individual vanities being vain.
SPEAKER_01Being very vain.
SPEAKER_02And uh it happened a few weeks ago that we were talking about something, and it's so stupid because I can't even now remember what we were talking about. But did we have a fight? Evidently, because that's where this phrase came from in my head. And I'm like, we're gonna do a podcast about this.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. Thank God. The longer you're married, the less you can care about your fights or remember your fights. It's a blessing.
SPEAKER_02It is. But it
wasn't that day because whatever was going on, I just didn't like the way we were talking to each other. And isn't that crazy? It's never really about what you're arguing about that causes you to get mad at each other. It's the what's there and the way you're talking about.
SPEAKER_01But it is what it is.
SPEAKER_02You said it, right? What? I've been telling you that since our day we got married. I've always said married. Don't focus on what I'm saying, how I'm saying. But you always said no, it's not about what you're saying, it's how you're saying it. But you just admitted it's never really about yes. This is a gotcha question. Yeah, it is. I got it. I gotcha. Okay, so here's the point. What is it that we're saying when we say, I hate that you talk to me that way?
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01From my perspective, are we jumping in?
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Just pretend we're other people.
SPEAKER_01Okay, we're not gonna fight.
SPEAKER_02No. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Just pretend we're other people.
SPEAKER_02But that's why Ashley's
here. Just protect me just in case you come at me. Go.
SPEAKER_01Unbelievable. Go ahead.
SPEAKER_02What was the question? What do we mean? What's the what are we trying to get across when we say I hate when you talk to me that way?
SPEAKER_01Okay, so first of all, men and women don't talk or process the same at all. Not at all. And women are way more tender. Usually, we live in Miami. We there's some pretty strong women in this city. But for the most part, women don't like to be belittled or talked down to or talked to like she's a little girl. And I can only speak from my perspective. I remember when we first got married, what did I used to say to you all the time when we'd argue? What was the one thing I'd always say?
SPEAKER_02I don't don't talk to me like you're my dad.
SPEAKER_01You are not my dad.
SPEAKER_02That's right.
SPEAKER_01But she would always talk to me like, Mary, don't do that. You were you would talk to me like you were my dad. Or if I'd say, let's go get ice cream. We don't have money for how could you even ask that we're gonna go get ice cream? And it wasn't that we couldn't have ice cream or that we needed to budget. It was the always the way you said that to me. And I would get so mad at you because I would think, I can handle the truth of the fact that we can't afford $3 for ice cream. But you could say it like, hey, babe, you know, maybe it's better for us that we save that money and not get ice cream tonight. How do you think about that? What do you think about that? That's how I envisioned that you should stop and package everything for me to hear it from a better perspective so that I could absorb it and digest it better.
SPEAKER_02Okay, so that makes sense. You know what I'm hearing when I think to myself, I hate when she talks to me that way.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02I hear, forgive me, but I hear a man trying to talk to me in a certain way.
SPEAKER_01Wow.
SPEAKER_02Because in a guy's mind, we're not thinking a woman is going to say that. She's not gonna what is she's not gonna front me that way. She'll challenge you. She's not gonna challenge me that way.
SPEAKER_01No, it's true.
SPEAKER_02And so what's amazing, this is where I tried, we try to tell young people all the time, beauty is only skin deep. Because when a guy hears a pretty woman front him or feels as though she is disrespecting him, right? Man, he doesn't see her looks anymore. She's ugly now. She she can get pretty ugly quick. And isn't that funny? That's crazy.
SPEAKER_01And women don't know that.
SPEAKER_02No.
SPEAKER_01Women do not know that. How many women are on the workforce right now and they're working with a whole lot of men, and they do not understand that they don't want you to talk to them like a man. Yeah, not in a challenging way.
SPEAKER_02No. Now I understand gender confusion a little bit right now. Do you're a woman? Like that. And a man can become a woman just like that by talking. No. I was kidding on that last comment. Um, not to offend any men out there. But uh, yo, it's it it is, it's all in the way we hear it. It is. And this is this is in our home. And this actually spills over here in Diddy Office. It's the communication that we have as husband and wife that now have to work together on a regular basis. And it's hard. And it's yes, it is.
SPEAKER_01It's very hard because it is almost impossible, especially when you're learning each other, to put your own feelings aside when you're in a stress moment or it might not even be a stress moment. It just might be one is stressed out more than the other, and the wife approaches the husband and asks something sweet, and she gets a harsh answer back. Yeah. And she hates it when he talks to her that way. I know for you and me over the years that um, because you are a different personality and a more of an aggressor in certain areas, things get you a lot more intense. I'm not intense at all. I have the a few things that I am intense about, but you don't have to tell me uh what is that scripture verse?
SPEAKER_02I can't read your mind.
SPEAKER_01I can't think of the word all of a sudden. Turns away wrath. A soft answer.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yes.
SPEAKER_01A soft answer turns away wrath. I would think that all the time. If he would just have a soft answer, I wouldn't be mad. Well, the truth was I'm not a mad person. That's not my personality.
SPEAKER_02Okay, you see that person right there? That was never the person that I saw on the inside of you when we would have those discussions between. I got medusa. That's exactly and and it came out and it came out.
SPEAKER_01It came up and it came out.
SPEAKER_02Never saw this innocent, oh my gosh, I don't want them to hurt me kind of a thing.
SPEAKER_01No, we don't because we don't know how to communicate that to each other, especially when we're so young getting married.
SPEAKER_02And you never saw that, oh, a soft answer turns away wrath. When? When I was like, you you didn't really try a soft answer and it never worked. It never ever works in a moment. No, I don't know why. But that's where comic routines come from. Because
in the conversation and communication of men and women, husband and wife.
SPEAKER_01Oh my gosh. That's the best. Yeah, you're on total two totally different planets. That is happening.
SPEAKER_02I guess, you know, in the long run here, that's not a bad thing. No. It surely shouldn't be a deal breaker. No, because of the way he talked to her. And so it may be a bone of contention. Right. And we're we're not in Eden here in the perfect garden environment, even in beautiful homes. You have those times where this may be your thing. Some couples, well, every couple has a thing that they have to contend with. And I would say over the years, this has probably been our thing because we have other things that are so good, but this right here can turn the good bad in a minute.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02You know, and then you know, you'll go for three days without talking to me and stuff.
SPEAKER_01I used to. I don't do that anymore.
SPEAKER_02But no, I'm kidding. Now, now it's you notice roles reverse. I'm almost like the one that don't want to talk for a couple hours anyway.
SPEAKER_01It's funny though, I will say, that you go from protecting yourself in the beginning of a relationship and the way you're spoken to. And I really think if I if I go back and I process it and analyze it from where I was when I felt that way the most versus now, it's because I took myself too seriously. And I was still trying to prove that I was this adult and I was smart and I was intelligent, and you're making me feel terrible about myself just because of the way you'd say it. But then when I would really look at it, at what you said, okay, yeah, you're right, but well, that was immaturity.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01And then you would say, I talk how I talk, Mary. This is me, this is how I am. Okay. This is how men are. That's what you used to always say. This is men, you know, get around other guys. You see, we talk like this. Look at men on the football field. Oh, it would make me so mad because in my mind, I was really more focused on really how it made me feel. It was really about me and not about what was being said. It was about how literally you made me feel. Yep. And if I would separate me from it and go, well, that's a you problem. If you can't be sweet and be nice, that's a you problem. That's not me. You're stressed. Are you okay? Are you all right? And vice versa, when I would get in my difficult days, you were a lot more prone, because I think men are, to go, okay, she's not having a good day. We were watching our honeymoon video the other day. And there's a moment you have the camera on me, and I am not smiling. And I don't know what mood I was in, but I am not smiling. And it did not affect your joy at all. You even say into the video, Oh, she's in a, she's not in a good mood. I don't know what mood Mary's in. And you keep going in the video, filming our entire Mexico honeymoon, having a blast with that camera all by yourself, even if I was moody. And the reality is, for we women sometimes we can get too deep in our feelings. And we do make it about the way you're saying it versus what you're saying. And I think in that regard, it's probably better to think more like a man and not be so sensitive to our feelings.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, we're not relationship experts. No, definitely not communication experts and counselors. We're terrible. I'm a terrible counselor. But me too. I do think a part of this is pretty
common and normal. Sure. And it's okay. It's okay to not uh do a make or break, do or die scenario when you don't like the way your spouse is talking to you. Yeah. Or even your business partner, you know, anybody you're in a good re long-lasting relationship with, uh, it's just, it's gonna be different communication methods. That's all that's to it. Yeah. Some are just gonna be more reserved and keep things to themselves and never say something until it just bottles up inside of them and they explode. Some are just never gonna act like it ever bothers them and you never hear about anything, only to find themselves down the road years later so filled with hurt and stuff. You're like, well, why didn't you say something? Then you got other people like myself that feels like, you know, not it's not so much that, you know, I've just got to say it because I know it. It's like this is my this is my communication with you. Right. And our communication is, you know, we we have to realize it's all personalized. It's got our own thumbprint on it. It it is what it is. And as long as it's not abusive.
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_01And that's not what we're talking about.
SPEAKER_02No, we're not talking about that. We're not talking about somebody who curses and uses the F-bomb.
SPEAKER_01Gets in your face and all that. No.
SPEAKER_02Pushes you around and tries to intimidate you. You know, that that right there is a conflicted personality person. You, you, anybody that has to do that, they're conflicted. Yes and they're they're high level of conflict. And you gotta you gotta keep some serious boundaries up with them. But most people, after, you know, one or two or three arguments, you know where the person is. And if you're still having dinner the next day or breakfast the next day after the blowup the night before, you know what? You may be able to just realize, okay, this is who we are. Right. This may be our weakest point. I'm not gonna make this a deal breaker. I love her, I love them, I want to be with them. You know what? If this is the worst that it gets, we can tolerate it every so often.
SPEAKER_01That's right.
SPEAKER_02And what we have found is on the front end of our relationship in marriage, it was uh really, it was never, you never saw my strong side before we were married, because every guy knows, no, no, let me save my best hand for on the front end of this relationship. Once I get her married, it's a little different. I could be myself. I could be myself. So you didn't see it then, but you did see it in that first couple of years of marriage, yeah. Where then our communication differences started to play out. One thing for you was you were raised pretty much with women.
SPEAKER_01I was gonna say that. Yeah, I don't didn't really know anything about. You know, yeah, that's a good point. That's crazy.
SPEAKER_02But my dad was strong.
SPEAKER_01You know what? Your dad was, which your mom was, too.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, they were both strong when it came to communication.
Matter of fact, one time I ran into a guy, and I must have been in my uh, I was in my 50s. So not too long ago, I ran into a guy to the store and he says, Yeah, oh, I remember Alessie. We lived down the street from you, and we could hear your family all the time arguing. Because my mom and dad would go out and Irish blood, kind of, you know, you married.
SPEAKER_01They parents never fought and got divorced.
SPEAKER_02Different kind of communication, though. That's it. Ours was our laundry was aired out. Yeah. And even the neighbors was well, clearly. But yours was not.
SPEAKER_01No, but see, that's that's why yours was what? Swept under the rug.
SPEAKER_02Never wanted to discuss that.
SPEAKER_01Because of the way you're saying things to me. And I had to learn when we first got married and we'd have those arguments. And it's amazing how you do go in your room and you start processing a lot, and reality does start to hit you. Those conflict moments are good for you because they do a little surgery in your heart. But I can remember realizing, well, hold on a minute. Steve is honest. He's saying what he wants to say, I can too, and be respectful at the same time. But the truth is he's saying what he wants to say to me without feeling like there's eggshells or he's worried that he can't say what he feels. I need to be as honest as I need to be, because the reality was in my family was a lack of honesty led to the destruction of a relationship. And it it really doesn't matter how you say it, just say what you want to say. Just don't cross the line and be disrespectful.
SPEAKER_02And funny, your family, songwriters, wordsmiths, well, you see, because we packaged words.
SPEAKER_01And there are a lot of people, though, that do feel there's a lot of people, there's been books written about it, that making sure you say things in a specific way so that the hearer can hear it and receive it is important. At the same time, when we are in real time in a relationship and there's stress and there's a lot going on, we need to give each other grace in those moments to either hear it the wrong way or to have said it the wrong way. And to be couples that forgive quickly.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. And don't don't don't hold on to it for that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, that's a destructive.
SPEAKER_02I
remember I had to learn this lesson. And grace is a beautiful gift to give each other.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_02Because I had to learn somewhere along the line that first off, as much as I would say something like, well, you shouldn't feel that way.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02Right. I had to learn that if it's your feelings, you're owning your feelings. So you know what? I got to respect that. I may not agree with it, and I don't want you to have it. I don't want you to always walk around on eggshells, or I don't want to have to walk around on eggshells because of your feelings. We had to work through that. So we couldn't, you had to toughen up a bit, and I had to be a little bit more sensitive. But at the same time, when it came to your feelings, I could not say to you, you shouldn't feel that. Shouldn't feel that way. Um, that in itself would blow the take the argument to another 30 to 40 minutes. A whole nother level because you hated me saying you shouldn't feel that way.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02But so I had to learn, you know what? It's her feelings.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_02And they are her feelings, they're real to her. May not be real to me, because I'm over here thinking, well, I feel like you shouldn't feel like that that way. So I'm going by my feelings, telling you, don't go by your feelings, which was stupid. So I had to I had to say, uh-uh, respect her feelings. Yeah. I don't have to agree with them, agree with them, but they surely can't be denied. They are your feelings.
SPEAKER_01They're my feelings in the moment, and I'll process them. But that's where I think, you know, giving each other room. And the earlier you can learn this in your relationship, the better. Oh my goodness. You know, I think we did pretty good considering all we had going against us with uh parental problems that we we had on the outside. But we were hard on each other in the beginning. And a lot of that was just internal struggle. It didn't even have anything to do with you and me as a unit. We loved each other, sure, but we both were struggling internally. And a lot of times that happens in couples. And I I we see it even in pastoring our church, meeting younger couples, that they fight more because they're struggling individually with what their expectations are, their frustrations are, and then they take it out on their spouse, and then it becomes something that it's not. And when you can stop and isolate that and go, wait a minute, this is a me problem. This isn't a you problem. You know, I started to how many times that you talked to me that way? I hate that you talked to me that way. I would look later on when Feelings faded and go. I started that. That was me. I shouldn't be even what why would I expect anything different? Because I you don't give up your best material.
SPEAKER_02I've never heard that. This is a confessional. Oh no. Oh, wow.
SPEAKER_01Is this mic on?
SPEAKER_02Is it re-recording? Let me say this though, babe. Um I don't think it's healthy to ask uh, as long as it's not abusive. Right. I don't think it's healthy to ask a man to get so sensitive with his thoughts and words and and so on, to to speak women speak. You know what I'm saying?
SPEAKER_01It's is crazy to ask a man to do that.
SPEAKER_02I I think it's I don't think it's healthy for a wife to say, speak to me like I want to be spoken to like another woman.
SPEAKER_01No, no, no, no.
SPEAKER_02And it's not healthy for a man to look at his wife and say, Okay, speak to me like a man. That's not gonna ever happen.
SPEAKER_01I'm gonna only hear you if you say it the way I will receive it.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, if a man, if a woman tries to speak like a man to a man, the man's gonna probably punch her because that's usually what ends up happening. He just sees another man.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely.
SPEAKER_02And it's not good. Right. So uh the point there is I think each partner, husband, wife, has to come to grips with this is my communication, my way of communication. I don't want it to be abusive, I don't want it to be um neglectful either. Right. So I'm going to have to figure out a way to either soften it or be tougher, yeah, stronger, and more secure so that and what is being communicated is being communicated. What is being said is be being communicated, and it does not become a bone of contention. Right. So the issue is not left swept under the carpet and unresolved. No, you deal with it, but you've got to both look at each other and say, okay, this is how my wife processes and thinks, and this is how my husband processes and thinks, and I'm okay with that. Yeah. So then
the second part to that, though, is how do we now say to the kids that are watching this theater of events and hearing it?
SPEAKER_01All the drama.
SPEAKER_02How do we help them say, okay, kids, this is dad, this is mom. Um the good side of it is when they communicate. But you know, when we get you loud or we, we, we cut each other off, or we start to cuss, or something like that. How do we make sure the bad part of communication is not being passed on while we still leave the door open for learning how to communicate?
SPEAKER_01Well, honestly, I think healthy homes have arguing. I think you've got to have arguing to be a healthy home. So, how do you teach kids to resolve their issues without when they're gonna get into arguments? I mean, kids fight the most with their siblings.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01The whole point of it is we're going to reach a conflict resolution. We're going to reach resolve. And we're going to talk about it. We're not afraid to talk about it. What dad said made me mad. What mom said made me mad. Okay, you heard that. And you know what? The old school is none of your business with your kids. Mom and dad are having a moment and we're working it out. But then you work it out.
SPEAKER_02You got to work it out.
SPEAKER_01You got to come out of the room with your boxing gloves off. You can't try to console your children and bring them into your relationship because now dad's taken off in the car and he's mad and he ran off, and mom is, oh, I hit the mic. And mom is everything's fine. Oh no, everything's fine. And brushing that under the rug. I don't think you teach your children well, but I don't think you expose them to the argues and fights either. I think there's a healthy balance. Self-control is a huge part of that. You've got to have self-control for the kids. But I don't think that it's we, I remember us talking to a couple a long time ago. I'll I'll never forget it, that she he was right when they were bringing us their scenario. We're both sitting in the office and he's telling us the scenario, and she's got her arms crossed, convinced, convinced that she had it down on lockdown 100%. She was right, and he was a bad guy because they would argue in front of the kids. And you and I are both processing. We don't have the heart to tell her we argue in front of the kids. Now we don't go crazy. Yeah. We don't have screaming matches and fights, but what he what he was saying was healthy and what she was saying was not healthy. And it was it was really at a point of no return for them because she had just so convinced herself that honesty with the kids was destructive. Meanwhile, she didn't realize you're not teaching your kids how to resolve an argument. Yeah. And they're meant to be resolved. And usually what happens is they'll come full circle. You'll you'll be petty, you'll bicker, you'll fight, kids will hear it. And like every kid does, mommy, daddy, you're you're getting broken up. Our kids did it. And you pull them in and go, guys, guys, guys, we're just fighting. You guys fight, but we are working it out. And you teach your kids that fighting doesn't end in breaking.
SPEAKER_02Yep.
SPEAKER_01It just means we're humans, we're people, we get mad at each other, we get out of control sometimes, but not too out of control, but then we work it out and we move on and we love each other more.
SPEAKER_02Right. Well, I agree. I think that's good, good, good advice to anybody's in that kind of environment with their kids. It's not bad to keep them uh close to you while you go through those times of disagreement where they do, however, see there's some kind of resolve without there being this ultimate do or die, make or break scenario. Because then they will be insecure and be afraid to express their own opinions and feelings.
SPEAKER_01And we're not talking about out-of-control marital issues, because like you said, we're not counselors, we're just talking about the petty stuff that can lead to worse stuff. If you have issues in your marriage and the kids are crying and they're in a fetal position in the corner every time, knock that off. Right. Because that is damaging. Don't do that in front of the kids.
SPEAKER_02Most marriages break up, relationships break up over the little things. It's it is Steve, always. And then, you know, the big things may manifest later down the road, but it was the little thing that led to it. And so the the arguments where you actually look at someone and say, I hate when you talk to me that way. Uh, that could break something up if a person doesn't realize that we all hate when people talk to us a certain way. Right. Hey, when I get pulled over by a cop, I don't like the way they talk to me. Uh get pulled over by doing it. Not anymore. Uh I don't like the way sometimes a person at the counter of the store talks to me or a waiter or what we're not, you know, it's a part of life. You just don't like it when people talk to you a certain way. And it's normal, but it should not break up a relationship as we come at this thing from a healthier viewpoint. Right. It's part of communication. Sometimes it's loud, sometimes it's quiet.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But I I would say don't put it out there and be so afraid that if you do speak your mind in whatever way you do, then you got to be insecure about the relationship. No, I think that's you don't want to sit on that stuff.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_02You don't want to be so passive and so quiet that you never say a thing. Right. And then you don't want to be so loud and so aggressive that you become abusive. You have to find a real healthy balance.
SPEAKER_01And if you don't communicate, you really won't know where the lines of respect are on both sides. You have to communicate and have those conversations, and sometimes they will get heated, to know where the boundaries are and what best serves your relationship.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because we're not, we we we can't read each other's minds.
SPEAKER_01Oh my goodness, no.
SPEAKER_02And that that's almost moving into a whole nother subject of prejudging something or somebody by something they're not saying.
SPEAKER_01Right. That's true.
SPEAKER_02That's that's kind
of nuts. Well, this has been very helpful for me.
SPEAKER_01Has it?
SPEAKER_02Yeah, because now I know what buttons to push for you. Unbelievable. How about this? Uh we just finished um Mother's Day and Father's Day, right? Okay. Uh question. What? Who got the better gift?
SPEAKER_01Um well, um you got many gifts. I got one. I did. I got the better gifts.
SPEAKER_02Who got the most expensive gift?
unknownI did.
SPEAKER_02Oh, yes, you did.
SPEAKER_01And uh but there's reasons for that. Why? I told them specifically what I wanted. I didn't send them little Amazon 1799 nose razor kits. See, that's on you, Mr.
SPEAKER_02It's an ear raiser for your ears and your nose, you know.
SPEAKER_01Listen, you don't understand how you gotta work these kids.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. What? Oh, communication. Uh-uh. Oh my gosh. It is communication, manipulation, for next Father's Day. I'm gonna start working on Christmas right now.
SPEAKER_01You better. I can help you. Nah. Now that our kids are adults and they have to buy us stuff. You got it. I'll show you.
SPEAKER_02Well, Mary did get the better gift. Probably cost about five or six times more than mine. But um, who washes the cars?
SPEAKER_01Who's a trophy wife?
SPEAKER_02Okay, we gotta go. It's getting deep in here. Thanks for joining us on another podcast of the Alesi Family. We needed that person. Business. The TFB.
SPEAKER_00Thanks for listening to the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies. We appreciate you listening and learning with us as we just shared more about the Family Business. You know, I bet there's someone you know who could use this kind of advice and encouragement. So make sure to share this episode with them and their family because let's face it, family is everyone's business. If you want to be a part of our family, subscribe to the show right now on your favorite app and make sure to download the episode so you can hear them at any time. Oh, and one more thing one of the best ways to help us spread the word about the family business with the Alesssies is by reviewing the show on Apple Podcasts or your favorite app. So help us out, write a review, and join us next time at the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies.