Mary and I want to welcome you to another episode of our Family Business Podcast. And today we're going to be answering some of the questions that our listeners are asking. And we want to encourage you to ask questions, especially as it pertains to anything family, anything and everything family. Feel free to ask us. Or of course, anything that may be dealing with working with family members, whether it's on in the ministry or whether it's even at home. So you can do that at alesifamilybusiness.com and we'll be glad to go ahead and answer some of those questions there. Well, today, Mary, we're going to be dealing with a couple. How are you doing, by the way?
SPEAKER_00I'm doing good. And I have to say I love I love the QA format.
SPEAKER_02Really?
SPEAKER_00I do.
SPEAKER_02I like well, that's what we do at home. I know. The whole purpose of the podcast was we realized we were really throwing some truth nuggets out just as we communicate at home on the back porch or in the living room, having our coffee, getting up in the morning trying to get going. We would have these conversations. The kids would get in on them. Well, because we'd get thrown questions all the time. Yep. And then we would have these things, and we're like, man, somebody needs to hear this.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh, and that's what this is about. So here's
one of the questions. People were interested in one question in particular. They want to do some kind of service with their family. Okay. So the question was: as a community outreach, what could they do as a family? And even inside the church, how could they get their family to serve together in the church and even outside of the church in the community?
SPEAKER_00First of all, I think the question is so precious because to even want that, to have that vision for your family is so precious and sweet. And it will bring fruit to your family if you do if you pursue that. I think it takes us back to we were talking earlier about when our kids were smaller, and we would go downtown to the rescue mission, and we would always donate Christmas gifts, and we would do that as a family. There was several outreaches like that that we did. I remember the kids would go and they sang at a few, because they all sang, obviously, and they would sing at a few nursing homes or retirement centers, and they just felt like it made them feel so good to do that. And as mom and dad, we would purpose that in their lives. So anything like that that you could do as a family where you're giving back, whether it be within the church and and our church always has service days, get the kids out there, do it together. But it's also a great opportunity not just to serve, but it's a great opportunity to teach your kids why we serve. So when the family can jump in the car, put the t-shirts on, and have an agenda and a plan for the day that we as a family we're gonna serve the Lord, but we're gonna give back. This is what we do as a family. This is what the Alessis do. This is what the Rivera's do. This is what the Romans do. You know, this is what we do. We go and we give back once a year, twice a year. Wow, you give your family the greatest gift when you teach them young how to give out of the cell, the nucleus that is your family.
SPEAKER_02I think that's where community comes into play. Uh we uh did it with Miami Rescue Mission. And the reason we did it to the Miami Rescue Mission, which is an outreach to the formerly homeless here in Miami, we would do it at Christmas. We'd go and sing, and either I'd speak or pray, or Chris could pray or speak. Um, we would do it because we knew the director who was Tony Villasuso, a member of our church. So we had a relationship where then we could go in, which I believe everything needs to come down to relationships. So it's always good to know the people that you're going to be giving to. If you're going to go serve in the community, know who they are. Know that your efforts are good. And and that relationship that you can have with the leadership is going to be good for your kids to see. That's right. Because they see it's real, it's it's valuable. Yeah. These are real lives. This isn't just doing it because you want to post something on your social media page and look like you really have a heart for people. But really do it because you're building a relationship with them. I think that's huge. At the same time, now, those things may be things that happen uh once a year, twice a year, whatever that may look like. But the reason the church community is so important is because you teach your kids how to do it every time they come to church. That's right. So your kids can serve in every area of our ministry right now. Because from the children's ministry to the youth ministry, the young adults, and the adults, there's the only right way we can do what we do as a church, as a business, oh yeah, is the volunteer base that makes up our organization. Right. I don't we don't think anybody should ever come to this place and just sit and receive.
SPEAKER_00Or alone without their family.
SPEAKER_02Right? They just don't come and sit to receive. They come to sit but also serve. That's right. It's the whole principle of if you give, okay, or better yet, if you receive and never give, you grow fat.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02If you give and never receive, you grow faint.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02But when you're giving and you're receiving, you're faithful.
SPEAKER_00That's right.
SPEAKER_02So what you're teaching kids at a young age is listen, we just don't go to church to receive. Right. We don't go to do. No, we go to give as well. And one way that we're able to give is by serving. So we serve in the different areas. They can serve, like I mentioned, all those different areas of ministry.
SPEAKER_00Well, I will give specific for you because right here in our studio, we have Ashley, who her and her Ashley's on full-time, but her sister is one of our amazing volunteers. We couldn't do what we do without Natalie. Her mom and dad are a big part of our ministry and serve as well. You have Alan Paul, who everybody in his family is a part of our ministry. His son is also on staff. His daughter is a part of our youth photography team, does it all. They've always come together. His wife was over our hospitality. Um, John and Jackie, who are here, their kids serve. I mean, and we're already watching it as those two are getting older. You see the way that's made for them and building confidence in them by serving the local church, not just, like you said, once a month a year. That's wonderful that you could do that. But that weekly service is giving your kids vision and mission, but then they're also finding what they're good at. You know, the old school way of church was you would bring your seven or eight-year-old son to church and he was playing the drums on the table at home and he'd become the drummer of the church. You're you'd buy him a guitar and he'd become the guitar of the guitar player or the keyboard player. We got away from that. But the truth is where some of the greatest gifts are developed are in the local church. Because where else are you going to go and be a part of a community that every single week there is an opportunity for you to go and develop your gift? Nowhere that's that's free.
SPEAKER_02No, no, no place that's free.
SPEAKER_00No place, you have to pay for it. So the local church is such an incredible asset for all of your family to put your efforts in and to sew it into.
SPEAKER_02What does that do for the family? When a family teaches the next generation, the children, even young adults, to give back, what is it really teaching them?
SPEAKER_00I I think it's teaching them that that submission and faithfulness both yield tremendous rewards in their life. It gives them lots of confidence. They're confident in who they are, they're confident in who God is in them. And really the tangibles are the confidence side where they're learning how to pick up a skill or even uh social skills being in the church. Those are the tangible things, the relational skills, the lifelong friendships that they they can make. That's the tangible. The intangible, the things maybe we don't see, is that root system, that connectivity, those relationships with God, with one another, and then with the world, they're really raised in kind of an incubator in a lot of ways. And it develops character and long-suffering because in a church situation, you stay friends with those people for a long, long time. So there's just a lot that it affords your family.
SPEAKER_02And we are pastors, so a lot of what we say is about this church, getting involved in church. But for people that aren't regularly in church, that's not their, you know, their their thing. It's they're in school and maybe they send their kids to private school, and then their kids go home and they're hanging out with, you know, at the park playing sports or something. There, they they could be encouraged as well to get the family in some service environment. Right. I think what it does for the younger generation, I think it helps the younger generation realize that life's not just about them. Absolutely. We become such a you know central focus on the person. We we we speak to the kids about they've got to do better. We work with them on their homework, we we work with them in the way they interact with their family, their kids, their brothers or sisters, with uncles and aunts. We make it so much about them, what they gotta do, what they gotta do. It's great to then put them in an environment where they can now go and do something for others. Get their eyes off of themselves by serving. And it's a beautiful way for the family to all get on the same page. And something else I think is important. You know, self-esteem, I think it's built in a person more by their accomplishments than by the compliments that people want to give them. I agree. We we've somehow given everybody an award these days just for showing up.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02And we tell them how great they are just because they're there. Yeah. It's like if I can praise them enough, oh, they're gonna feel good about themselves. That may work in some environments, but I think the better angle is to come out of it from an accomplishment. I agree. Let's see what they've done by based on merit. What have they been able to do? Yeah. Now, if we go out and we serve in church or we serve in the community, hey, it's nice as a family than to jump in a car and run over to Shake Shack and share a burger together. Why? Because we just did something for someone else to help them encourage and make their life better. Now we're able to celebrate what we've done. Right. But just heaping all this praise on some of our young people today and the family is not helping them if they're not being motivated to turn around and do something for someone else. So this particular question came because it seems like the family wants to show their kids the right way to go. And we know from a biblical perspective, the word says that when you train up a child in the way they should go, they'll never depart from it. This is a family member who's saying, I want to show my kids the right way to live.
SPEAKER_00That's right.
unknownAbsolutely.
SPEAKER_02And I think it's great that they see the right way to live includes serving other people.
SPEAKER_00The whole family serving other people. Have you heard the news this week that um I think it's Harry and Megan Markle? Is it Harry and Megan? Henry and Megan? Whatever. They actually received an award. This is to your point. They actually received an award. Are you ready for this? For not having more than two children. This is the culture we live in right now. They actually got an award for saying we wanted three or four children, but we've decided we're only gonna have two. As if somehow that is some great accomplishment.
SPEAKER_02And that is what this generation that award was given by somebody who doesn't have any children.
SPEAKER_00Hands down, you're correct about that. That has to be true. Yeah, they don't understand the blessing the children are to your family.
SPEAKER_02And when you're a very lonely person when they get old.
SPEAKER_00Wow. That's like lacking vision of what the child, the Bible says children are a blessing. They're your heritage. But part of it is because when a family doesn't have vision for them, it does seem like total chaos. Yeah. Which is why the local church was God's design for us to be with our families in community with other families. And so much is developed in that that is so good, not only for us, but when you do teach your children to do exactly what we're speaking about, the whole culture changes. The society is better because it strengthens that structure of family and giving back because it starts at home.
SPEAKER_02Okay.
SPEAKER_00Isn't it true? It always starts at home.
SPEAKER_02Oh gosh. Always. My gosh. Always. Okay, so this was a great question. I hope we've helped somebody. Here's another question. Now we're gonna take this thing up from children to teenagers. I don't want to talk about teenagers. Oh my goodness, teenagers. And here's the question that was asked:
Why do teenagers refuse to accept that God is everything?
SPEAKER_00Wow.
SPEAKER_02I'm gonna let you answer that one.
SPEAKER_00Give me a minute. I gotta breathe a little bit. Teenagers. Well, first of all, um, I'm I am I'm pretty aggressive when it comes to teenagers. I love teenagers. I don't, I I want them to like me because I I wanna feel like I can influence them because if they don't feel like they like you, they will shut you down. And I don't want to be just a parental figure in their lives. But the truth is there's a fine balance with with teenagers because they think they know everything and they know nothing. So, with this question, as we were talking about this question, why would a teenager not want to believe that God is everything? The question in and of itself is very telling because teenagers just want to believe what they want to believe because they're only driven through those teenage years by their social status. That's all that matters to them is who their friends are and when they can be with their friends. Gabby's our our youth director. Christopher was our youth director for a long time. And something that we've learned, you and I used to be in youth, and we served with youth for a long time, and it has not changed from the 70s to the 80s to the 90s to the 2000s to 2020, 21 and 22. It's all the same for teenagers. They only care about their social status. So if God's not cool with their friends, then they they want to somehow find whatever's cool with their friends and be that. So that's what's fueling that. It's not a deeper understanding or a deeper questioning of God. It doesn't go any deeper. And this is what every parent needs to know. We've raised four teenagers, before I said eight because sometimes it felt like eight, but four teenagers. And I promise you, whatever is motivating them to even think those thoughts, it's from a friend. There's an outside voice that is influencing them. Either it could be today, it could be a teacher, it could just be what they're learning at school, it could be what they're picking up on these things right here, what they're learning on TikTok, the the just the infiltration of this culture war, which which is really being fed, overfed to our kids. And as a parent, the only way to combat that is to find out who that voice is and be subtle about it, but find out who that voice is and get rid of that voice because God is everything.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And don't be intimidated by that, because I know this is that intimidation season where parents do get a little intimidated by their kids. It's always in the teenage years.
SPEAKER_02Yeah. Well, we learned uh that we just we had to pull our kids through these years.
SPEAKER_00We had to get them.
SPEAKER_02We couldn't let them do it on their own. We had to pull them through to make sure they understood truth. I, you know, kids they don't they don't know truth. That's why they're going to school. They're going to school to learn some measure of truth. Mathematics, equations. Here's what truth is, here's what it happens when this happens and lines up with this, equates to this. They're still learning how to to live. Right. Why then should we think that they're gonna all of a sudden jump on it when it comes to God?
SPEAKER_00No, I I don't know.
SPEAKER_02They're not. That's not gonna be their natural inclination. And plus, there's an uh enemy out there of their soul that wants to rob them of any measure of truth when it comes to godliness, spirituality, uh, righteousness. That's right. So the the question's good because what it shows is there is something on the part of the parent that has to be very intentional to show them that God is everything. Right. So when society, and it's not cool for in society to have that relationship with God, then the parent has to be very intentional, which is why surrounding them in a church environment is so important. It's it's a fortress. I I don't want to mention names, but just recently you and I were with a couple, and they had planned a summer vacation, a nice vacation for their family. And their daughter was gonna go with them, their teenage daughter. Well, it just so happens it was at the same time as camp was taking place.
SPEAKER_00Youth camp here.
SPEAKER_02Youth camp here at the church. Right. And you and I were with that couple, and it just so happens the daughter called from camp, another camp that she was going to that was uh more sports oriented. So here's what what her son was gonna look like. She went to this awesome camp for about a month out there for all these other things. She's gonna get back home and then she's going to go on this international trip. Meanwhile, we have youth camp right in the middle of it. And we started sharing with them, and this is why I love these people and our church people that are connected with us, because we started talking to them about the importance of this one week, how this one week, surrounded by other young people, what that's going to help them know more, learn more, experience more with God, how important it is that they go to camp as opposed to going on this trip. And most people would be afraid to even touch that subject matter because you're like, oh my gosh, a trip, an international trip is like a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Well, the truth is, no, they're gonna, they've already been and they're gonna go again in the future. Yeah. Uh what's the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? It's really to make sure as a young person they're having some measure of encounter with God, who is the reason they're even here because he's got a plan and a purpose for his life. When it was all said and done, make a long story short, that couple called the child and said, Listen, we're gonna change it up.
SPEAKER_00It was amazing.
SPEAKER_02We want you to be at this youth camp.
SPEAKER_00That's right.
SPEAKER_02And they didn't get any kickback from the daughter at all.
SPEAKER_00She's like, Okay, I know, let's talk about it, let's do it.
SPEAKER_02I know, which showed a hunger in her for something more spiritual beyond herself. How many times do parents mistakenly put a vacation or some weekend event, some party, right, some late night Saturday event, or a sports game on Sunday, how many times do we see them putting that before anything godly like church? That's right. And then we wonder why God isn't everything to them.
SPEAKER_00No, that's true.
SPEAKER_02If he's gonna be everything, if you want God to be everything to them, then you better make them surrounded by everything that is God. That's right.
SPEAKER_00They really need to be saturated. Yeah. And I know that again, when you hear when some people may hear you and I speak and they think, oh, that's so extreme. You know, there's a big world out there. I want my kids to enjoy. Let's be clear. The enemy works with extremes, right? Because in the middle, there's a whole lot. So there's extreme of church, church, church. And some people might get the picture of, well, my kid won't breathe, or I was raised in a very strict environment where I was at church and I rebelled. And then there's this lax, no church at all. There's a whole lot here in the middle, and that's where we are. Yes, you can make God first and make the house of God first, and your kids not rebel against it. There's a way to do that where it's not extreme and get in the flesh. Just like coming over to this extreme where there's nothing at all can be dangerous. There's something in the middle that's balanced. We always try to teach very, very balanced. So the reality of that is when it comes to teenagers, how long is a teenager's life? From about what, 13? Well, it's more like 12 or 11 now, but let's just say 10 to 20. 10 to 20. You have 10 years with an underdeveloped brain in your life that will intimidate the heck out of you if you don't manage them well. And the way you manage them well is to never get to that question of they don't think God is everything, because you've raised them to know God is everything and nothing else compares to God. I remember when Christopher was going to go to FIU to go take psychology classes, and you got ahead of that. And instead of Waiting for him to come home with a lot of questions. You knew that him going into those classes was going to create a lot of questions in his life about his religion, his belief, his doctrine. And you went ahead of that and said, listen, these are some things you might have to fight, but this is what we believe. And this is good for you. It's going to challenge your faith. And that helped Christopher just that being reactive instead of or being proactive instead of reactive.
SPEAKER_02Well, you talk about extremes. I I don't want to be negative here, but um young people are doing something right now to extremes. They are. They're just prone to that. If it's sports they're crazy about, it's gonna be sports every day.
SPEAKER_00Oh my god.
SPEAKER_02If it's social media, that's right. They can't even sit down and have dinner at the dinner table with it. It's every minute. It's everything's extremes. If you got a kid that's really big on studies, it's extreme. You got gamers, it's extremes. Yeah. So we we make way for the extremes for sports, gaming, and all of that. That's okay. That's okay.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Uh, but we don't make extremes for things in times with God. Here's the bad side of that. It was years ago, I remember a family, I knew them. They had no desire to be around church, and their kids weren't, but their kids went to some of the nicest schools. One night, FBI showed up on the front doorstep, barred into the busted into their home, went to the kid's computer, and they found that their son, as a young teenager, was surfing some inappropriate websites that included minors. Right. That kid's life, Mary, was destroyed, and everything from that point on changed. Yes. Because now everything about his life is marred by that one event for the rest of his life. So we don't like to go to extremes, but there should be some measure of let me help my kids see that God is going to ultimately be their everything. So let me make sure that I'm surrounding them with things that are God, like a good friendship circle that is Christian. They love God, they want to go to church, have them around church, serving in church, making church. They know their pastors, they know their leaders. All of that stuff is becomes part of their normal routine, not something they just do once or twice a month.
SPEAKER_00And clarify what I meant.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00That isn't extreme. See, there are a lot of a lot of people, we've talked to parents that will say, I don't want to push them. You know, I want them to choose God, and oh, there's so much going on, and I just can't get them here on Wednesdays. And sometimes they can't, clearly. Jobs are tough, we get it. But there are people that will actually think if I bring my kid to church every Sunday, if he's involved in a connect group with the youth, if he goes to youth group on Wednesday nights, if he goes to camp, wow, that's a lot. That's extreme. That's not even enough. Not for the world that they're living in that's oversaturated today. So if we want, the point is that isn't extreme. Yeah. That is what really the measure they need to meet for their children, especially because the world is so much darker than it was when we were younger. And I I posted it the other day, and it's because somebody else had posted it. Stop comparing yourself, your children to your childhood. There's no comparison because we live in a world that is saturated with distractions and voices that are extreme, like you said, and are determined to destroy their lives. So they've got to counterbalance that with the house of God.
SPEAKER_02Yeah, and the house of God is important because you need to give them an hour or two or more a week to combat all the stuff that they're hearing out there.
All right, which leads us to another great question. And that has to do with and I I feel for this person that asked it. They're they're talking about how do they provide to their spouse and their children correction without it coming across as criticism. So they they won't the question is, how do I provide my spouse and my children with criticism? I think what they're saying is, how can I correct them without it coming across as criticism?
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_02Take it away.
SPEAKER_00Mary, I wasn't about start. Um wow. I can answer that from my vantage point because I that I would have asked that question.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Because I never wanted to offend my kids or be critical. I I had this major fear that correction was criticism. And I I don't know if it was because of how I was raised, but somewhere along the line I picked up that message and I started believing that correction is criticism. Then I marry you, and correction was everything. You know, you you were you were in my mind what I thought was an overcorrector. But in looking back, we balance each other out. But I really learned the importance of correcting to my children in real time, in the moment when things would happen, and not trying to find this perfect moment so that they would receive it. No, give the correction, give it in the moment, be the bad guy. Don't always make Steve the bad guy. And if it's criticism, it's criticism. You're not, that's not your heart. That's not in your that's not your intention to just be critical. But if you don't find a healthy place of correction and you're always thinking this is criticism, criticism, your kids are missing out on a whole lot of discipline that they need. Who else is going to tell them if not you? Who else is going to make those adjustments in their lives if not you? It's very important. And I and I do think, and I hate to keep pounding on the culture battle, but I do think that culture has changed so much. And even if you were to go in a classroom and the teacher calls you in as a parent with your child and they want to tell you today what your child did wrong, the parent hears with a completely defensive and defiant ear now. The average parent listens to correction over their child very defensively. Not my kid. Whereas in our day, if we, if our parents got called to the school, it did not matter if we had been falsely accused. We got in trouble like we had, we were the guilty party.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00So we had a healthy fear of getting in trouble. It was always my fault. Always my fault. I don't care if my twin sister did it. It was, I got lumped in.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And it kept you from being in the danger zone because you didn't want to get in trouble. Well, I feel like parents are, they bought into this, not not all parents, but a hefty, uh, a pretty heavy amount of them have fallen for this mentality that you can't correct your kids at all because everybody deserves a trophy. And no one should be hurt. And oh my God, don't offend them. You're gonna break them, you're gonna crush them. It's like they're they're this brand new subhuman that's way more tender and fragile, and somehow correction is going to break them and hurt them and crush them forever. Yeah. Well, who are these kids?
SPEAKER_02Oh Mary. I I gotta tell you, I think the generation before this present teenage generation were raised with everything just being given to them with such a you know soft spoon. Everything was perfect. They were praised for just showing up. I think the parents that have seen that are saying, you know what, I don't like that. Because I'm seeing some young people today that that aren't as tender, no, it's true, as fragile as a generation uh that has been before them. And I I use this uh little story, and it happened the other day when we were we went to 7-Eleven to get Gabby a Slurpee because it was 7-Eleven Day, and I'm dating this podcast, but uh it was she went to get a Slurpee, and while we're there, she's I'm off to the side, and she's sitting uh right getting her Slurpee right up against the machine. And about four or five young boys came in. Boys, I'm talking, they had to be 13, 14, 15 years of age, and they come in and stand behind her, and one of them decided to be an idiot. He evidently was the jokester. So all of a sudden I see him walk be like walk in front of all his buddies that were um and and position himself between Gabby, whose back was to the boys, and the guys. And he comes walking around the corner and he has his shorts down around his knees. Oh, dear lord. And he's walking, and I see that the guy's got his underwear on, but he's got his shorts down below his knees, and he's doing it for a laugh. That poor guy, not thinking uh that Gabby would see him as much as he's thinking his friends are seeing him, and he's gonna get a laugh. He had no idea Gabby's father was right there. Oh my and I just I'm like I cringe for that young man. So, needless to say, I didn't I didn't just shut up and be quiet about the whole thing. I made the kid run out, more or less run out the store. But after I got a hold of him with my verbal commands, yeah. And what are you doing? Yes, foolish, you know, whatever. Um, everybody in the 7-Eleven stops stood still, and this kid felt like you know, he he was an idiot. He got caught.
SPEAKER_00And he'll never forget it for the city. He'll never forget that.
SPEAKER_02Not only that will he not forget it, but Gabby turns around and says, you know, sees what's happening, and then Gabby turns and says to all the rest of the guys that are sitting there, because some of them are laughing and they're still kind of shocked by what occurred and me being so aggressive in the moment. But I wasn't gonna let the kid disrespect my daughter like he did. But the other guys are like now all stuck and standing there, and she says, Y'all need to turn and apologize to this man. He's a father, and you disrespected him. And all the guys are like, Yeah, I'm sorry, sir. And I was shocked at how quick they turned and were repentant. The correction was good. They took the correction. It's like, these are not fragile little kids. Not at all. And you know what? They didn't even bow up. No, they weren't defensive, they weren't defensive or disrespectful or dishonoring. And then you know what Gabby does at the end is she says, pull out your phones right now. You go to Instagram, get on your Instagram, go to Metro Y L or Youth Group, whatever it was she put in, she goes, YA. You go to Metro Youth and and follow us right now because we got youth group on Wednesday night. She starts inviting these kids. We'll defend you in the world. What are they gonna think when they show up if they do when they see oh my gosh, that was the bastard scaring to here's the point. I think kids without a proper voice in their life are gonna be prone to do stupid things. Right. And a parent should not be afraid of uh them coming across as long as they're not abusive. They those kids need the parent to say, look, here's right, here's wrong. I'm not gonna be popular right now. You're gonna sit there and think that I'm just, you know, uh an overbearing parent, but I've got to have this conversation. Yeah. Because I remember us at the dinner table having conversations and me bringing up something, and everybody in the table kind of dropping their head, like, oh my God, here we go again. Yeah. And I was tempted to pull back, but at the same time, I'm like, somebody's got to tell them the truth. Right. And I'm that somebody today. So I was okay with being corrective. Uh, we called it care fronting. Yes, you you called it that. I'm gonna confront this situation, kids, because I'm your dad and your mom's a weenie. She's not gonna do it, she wants to be your friend, but daddy's gonna come in here and we're gonna have this conversation. And I'm amazed at how over the years, though, when they were younger, they didn't always understand it, they did appreciate it. And I would say to any parent listening, do it now. Do it while they don't understand it. That's right.
SPEAKER_00Ignore the eye rolls. That's it.
SPEAKER_02Don't be cooked. Don't let it bother you. Even the spouse that may not be supportive of you in that moment. If you're not losing it and you're not being abusive, you're not cursing anybody down, but you know it's a good thing, go ahead and and parent up and do it. Because the kids may make fun of you even behind your back, like mine did. They may get, you know, think that you're boring and complained about you and and all of that, even to one another, but one day they're gonna turn around and they're gonna thank you.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, they will.
SPEAKER_02They will absolutely here. Yeah, we've been fortunate enough to hear them say, Thanks. Dad was right. And when they get on this podcast, 90% of the time they're saying, Dad said this, dad said that, dad said this. That's right. And as much as I would like to say, guys, mom said some things too. Well, your voice was my voice was louder, so everything seemed to come from dad.
SPEAKER_00Pretty constant.
SPEAKER_02But we wouldn't be having this conversation, we wouldn't have a podcast about the Lessie family if there wasn't a parent saying, Let me correct this.
SPEAKER_00If you weren't, if you had been more afraid that your correction was criticism, yeah, we would not have this podcast. You were not going to fall prey to that. It's not criticism, it's correction. And you need to hear it. And I'm and honestly, I learned a lot along the way. I learned so much. And what I, you know what else, you know what I learned? There was nobody else in their life that would come along with a voice of correction. There was no one. And if it had not been for you and me in those moments, nobody else stepped up to do that. Yeah. So these are your humans. No one else is going to take the role of correcting mom and dad from you. It's your responsibility alone.
SPEAKER_02Well, I hope today what we've said has been an encouragement to you. Go to our Alesi. Let me get that again, man. Where are we at? Our Alessie Family Business.com site, and you'll be able to send some more questions. We'll be glad to answer them to the best of our ability. This was fun. Yes, it was. Thanks for joining us today.
SPEAKER_01Thanks for listening to the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssi. We appreciate you listening and learning with us as we just shared more about the family business. You know, I bet there's someone you know who could use this kind of advice and encouragement. So make sure to share this episode with them and their family because let's face it, family is everyone's business. If you want to be a part of our family, subscribe to the show right now on your favorite app and make sure to download the episodes so you can hear them at any time. Oh, and one more thing one of the best ways to help us spread the word about the family business with the Alesssies is by reviewing the show on Apple Podcasts or your favorite app. So help us out, write a review, and join us next time at the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies.