Well, hello. We want to welcome you to another edition of the Family Business Podcast, where family is everybody's business, and we're so glad that you're joining us in our season number two. And it's very exciting that we have already been able to lay out some of our seasons together and episodes. Today I get the honor and privilege.
SPEAKER_03Why are you gonna say it like that?
SPEAKER_01Of being here today with my wife, Mary Alessie. Gosh, Mary, we're coming up on our 34th wedding anniversary.
SPEAKER_03I cannot believe it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Right now, as we're taping this, we're just about a week away. Yeah. Only a few days away.
SPEAKER_03Just a few days away.
SPEAKER_01Yep. And 34 years. Uh, we're coming to you in this podcast booth today because we're talking to our podience. That is still so cute. I know. I know. Thank you. I am. About things that we cannot discuss on Sunday. Yes. Because we have the time to do so and so forth. And since we're pastors, we can't always open up to a crowd on Sundays about some of the more intimate things that we deal with in our lives. So that's why we have our Alesi Family Business podcast. Uh, you could join us online at the AlesiFamily Business.com site. And you can even ask us some questions. And today, what we're going to be talking about actually comes from some of the questions that people have sent us over the last few months. And this today message that is, or our subject that we're going to be looking at is how you and I co-partner and work together as husband and wife. Yeah. And uh we do that in our home, we do that in our work. We do that pretty much in every area of our life. So you you ready to go ahead and tackle this subject?
SPEAKER_03Oh, I think so.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_03I'm gonna, I'm gonna focus.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_03And we're gonna tell the truth.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And be honest.
SPEAKER_01Good. So all right. You want you want to say hi to everybody?
SPEAKER_03Hello, everyone. It is so great to be back in season two. This has been amazing. And
uh we just want to thank everybody for even listening. It's really cool that we are, you know, we're getting such good feedback from your phone real quick while you're prepping and read that great text that was sent to us today.
SPEAKER_01This is Carrie.
SPEAKER_03This is just beautiful. Yeah, we're out on time. It came this morning as we were on our way here, um, and she's so generous with her words, but she said, good morning. Just wanted to congratulate you on starting season two of your podcast. It is wonderful, and I have listened to every episode. Thank you, Carrie. I truly enjoy getting to know you both better and the wisdom and truth you speak. I hear many people say that you guys have a gift that everything you touch turns into gold. I haven't heard that. That's kind of nice. That's great. That's really sweet. But my response is everything you do is God ordained, and all that you do is blessed because of your lifelong service and love for God. Amen. May God continue to bless you and your beautiful family to continue doing great work for his kingdom for generations to come, always praying for you. God bless you.
SPEAKER_01That's beautiful. Now, listen, we're pastors, so people are going to say uh that they they're blessed by what we're doing. It's it's this whole spiritual connection that we have with our people. And um, that's why we're coming like this. We want to have a connection with all of our listeners. That's right. Uh, intellectual, relational, spiritual, whatever that is, because it's a soul deal. Sure. When we're doing this, Mary, I'm finding you and I are connecting with more people at a soulish relational level than we have before. So this is really great. And I'm glad we can do this as we hear it, it encourages others by our story and our experiences. Um, that's what we should be doing with our life. And so today, as we're talking about this, uh, we you and I working together, just from
a spiritual perspective for a minute, a biblical vantage point of all of this, we know that um the Bible actually says that we are no more, and and he starts to list some of the things we're no longer to God, that we're no longer Jew or Gentile, we are no longer bond or free, we are no longer male or female. In God's eyes, when it comes to relationship aspect and creation, uh, we're all created equal in his eyes. Now, when it comes to function, it's a little different because then there are places where even in the Bible, it talks about uh a woman's role in leading a church environment. And the only thing that you and I see that we respect is that a woman's role will be used in the fullest extent in every religious environment, as long as she has an understanding of submission to the authority that is either a pastor in her life or a husband in her life. And she should be in subjection relationally to that. So she comes under that authority of a leader, a male leader, in this case for you and I, your husband and your pastor. And when that is happening, then it's a safe environment for you to come alongside of me and be a co-equal in our uh ministry or in our business to people that are following us. So you're you're good at that.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01You're you're really understanding of that. You don't fight for your position of, oh, let me have that. I need to say that I'm as good as you, or you you're you have a good balance and understanding of that. So you want to say something.
SPEAKER_03Well, I think I wasn't always good at that. I had to learn to do that. And with understanding that there are certain words that set me free as a woman, but yet in the culture, they were hot words. They were words that were trigger words to women, but they were the actual words that would set me free to be who God called me to be. And the word you use, subjection. I mean, women do not like, well, nobody likes the word to be in subjection to. That sounds like you own me or you dictate everything in my life. But when I understand the power of that, and really my place under submission is as powerful as your place possibly over subjection of me, your family, your church. There, there's power in that when you walk in it. But it wasn't always easy. And we could talk about how we both got there. Um, but it's definitely when it's not exercised, understanding your full authority in your submission and in the place you're in, when you don't fully understand that, um, it can cause a whole lot of conflict. And that's how words are started. When when we don't recognize alpha, we don't recognize leadership, when we don't recognize authority and there's disrespect. That's that's how marriage is end. That's how there's just conflict on every level. But when we do understand the power of the one who gets to submit, um, it it that's where that's where everything you touch turns to gold because you understand the principle of that.
SPEAKER_01Well, you anything with two heads is a freak. Absolutely. And and there has to be an understanding of that, that there's always going to be a leader. And what we find in our understanding of uh husband and wife and even working together is that I get the privilege and the responsibility of being the leader. You're my co-equal when it comes to us then leading our home and so on, because I I rely on the wisdom that you have. I rely on your experience and your intellect and your gifting. I rely on all of that, which then helps me be a better leader because now I'm not fighting for my position. That's right. If I had to always fight for my position to lead our family or lead our church and our business, then I would always be frustrated and it would be forever a battle. And I wish, I wish couples could understand this that when you find the leader of your home, then that leader takes their place with, and when they have their place of leadership and authority, then you find yourself willing, and as long as there's security there, you find yourself willing to pull people alongside of you as a leader. And for us, it just happens to be that you and I have learned how to work together.
Right. Because I I remember looking out one day, Mary, and there was a lot of females in our church, and I'm leading in my role as speaker, and there's a lot of females as I'm speaking, and I also see the men, and I'm really connecting with the men, but I'm thinking to myself, wow, am I really connecting with these women? I need help.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And here you were with the gift, the experience, the same thing that's on me is on you. Why wouldn't I want you to come alongside of me? Right. And now together we are working hand in hand in this capacity because there's women and men, but there's women that need to hear what you bring to the table. So I'm helping one group, you're helping another. Together, we're helping the entire group.
SPEAKER_03And you've always been very fair in leadership. You've always been somebody who shares. And, you know, I honestly, I I think about the times that you've asked for my help. And I probably was thinking of it through a female lens versus stepping back in that scripture verse, there's neither, therefore, now female or male, right? Um, when you look at it through through the lens of the work, just the work and the responsibility, and you take off, well, that's because I'm a female, or that's because I'm a man. When you get rid of those types of filters, which are very divisive anyway, um, and it just becomes about the responsibility and what what we are called to do and what we're doing, but not looking at it through the lens of gender, which is really what God wants us to do, is look at it through the lens of principle and through the lens of the work. When I put that away, and I think women have a much harder time, well, I know they do. They're yoked with this burden of, well, it's because I'm a female that this happens to me. If I was a man, I'd have the world. It's a man's world, right? We, you know, Beyoncé's been singing that. But when you take that filter off and you don't look at it through the lens of a woman, and I had to do that. Um, and I looked at it from the perspective of how fair you were. This was really your church in a lot of ways. Yes, it's God's church, but this was your mission. You started this, you stepped out, you had your name on the bank accounts, not me. Um, and when I was started looking at it through that lens and not gender lenses, it helped me stay in my place and not compete. But that's a real true Hollywood story problem is the competition.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And we say, oh, well, you're we're not meant to compete, we're meant to complete. Yeah, okay, whatever. But we do and we struggle. I've been tempted, you've been tempted, we talk about very competitive.
SPEAKER_01No, yes, you didn't like the fact that just right here, I'm higher and speaking over my mic. No, and you didn't like the position of your mic because I was slouching. Steve's mic is that. Well, and I want that too. That's you're very competitive.
SPEAKER_03I am.
SPEAKER_01We both are. That's not bad.
SPEAKER_03No, but if I look at it through the lens of I'm a competitive female, I'll never win. Well, that's gonna hinder my success. Yeah. Because I'm in this position. So I'm gonna make the best of this position. And something I said to Christopher, our son, one time is walk in the fullness of what you carry. Walk in the in the fullness of the weight of what you carry. And he it meant a lot to him. And I stopped and I thought, okay, what does that even mean? But I heard it so strong. Walk in the fullness, carry the full weight. It's easy for us to be in a position where the sky's the limit, and we let excuses and the wrong lenses and the wrong voices speak to us that truly hinder walking in the fullness of where we are, right? So, like I'm in this room, and this room has cameras and it has lights and it has rugs and it's got microphones. And that would be like me coming in here and deciding I'm gonna do a podcast, but I'm not gonna use the mic right, right? I'm gonna use the fullness of this room. Yeah. And sometimes when we're walking in our positions and we're working together, we're so busy looking at the other one and questioning what can I do? What can I do? How much authority do I have in this space? And then having hangups over it. No, just take advantage of the position you have, put away those negative thoughts and just trust God.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03You know, and then use it all to the fullness of what this position affords you.
SPEAKER_01You know, this is so important, and it's it's why we need to hit this every season.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01We have to go back to the power of working together and being one. We hit this in a number of episodes in our first season, but it's good to keep coming back because people need to be reminded. We have to work together daily. And I can remember something, you know, 30 days ago, or I can hear something 30 days ago and get it then. But then you and I go through a rough patch or or money's tight, or we're having problems with with staffing or something, and we forget what we heard back then. So I gotta be reminded, okay. No, this is a good thing that we're working
together. So let me ask you this question, Mary. How do you work with your husband? Because I'm gonna tell him how I work with my wife. Oh, okay. You go first. No, ladies go first. Well, um, how do I work with my wife? I think uh there's some patience. I think I have to always want a wife first before I want an employee, employee. That's important. And you and I had to come to that realization because we were I was button heads with you. I wanted you to do things a certain way. I wanted you to be more like me. I wanted you to have more of an administrative bent and not realizing that your unique, fun-loving, free, caring, uplifting, creative gifting or personality about you added to what I needed.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And we both couldn't be like me, or else we would be a very boring organization. And uh, you know, you know how to light up the room when you walk in. I know how to turn off all the lights when I walk in. Uh, there was a balance to that. Right. And so working with you meant that I had to say, okay, I want a wife more than I want a the the person working for me to be a certain way. Because we we had to sit back. What that really helped me do was appreciate your gifts that you bring to the table. And I'm totally weak in that area. And I had to say, all right, I don't have that, I need that. She's got it. Come on, appreciate that. That has really helped me over the years. Because even our kids, uh, our kids come to you and I, and they're asking the question, asking you, how do I work with dad? Yeah, I got an issue. They're asking me, how do I work with mom? She, I got an issue. And it's cute because now we can give uh them. We're like each other's interpreters. Yeah, we are. We are. And and we we don't sit back and ever say, Well, you're right, she's this or he's that. We're like, we laugh, and then we say, Well, this is how you have to perceive it. Look at it. This is the way you have to deal with mom. This is gonna give you the best results and working with mom. So I think when you and I work together, I come to the table, and I have to say before we sit down at the table, Mary's got good information, listen and and read between the lines, and let's see what the contribution is because she helps us tremendously. If I do that, then it's easier for me to understand what then your personality is bringing to the table. Because this isn't just us, right? We've got other John in the back there. He's uh in the studio. He works with his wife, Jackie. Yeah, and they even now they just moved into the same office together. They share an office that's gonna be exciting as time goes on.
SPEAKER_03Y'all need to listen to this podcast. I am taking notes, Pastor.
SPEAKER_01Go get Jackie. All right, so that's how I work with you. How do you work with me?
SPEAKER_03You know, and of course, we're talking about now because we've had many years to get to this sweet spot of working together. But I can tell you that what the mindset I have to put on when we are in creative spaces or when we are planning and we're getting our vision together for the future, I have to say to myself, although Steve doesn't lead with a creative idea, it doesn't mean he's not creative too. And although he doesn't get all excited about certain things and he may not communicate things and make them fun, they're gonna be fun if we execute them.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And I also think to myself, and again, I've had to learn this. This is not something that you and I came into being as being. We had to develop the skill of working together. It is a skill. It takes practice, it takes exercise, it takes listening to other people who do it and do it well, getting resources. But for for you and I, I also have to go into the room going, this isn't my full thing. At the end of the day, the ultimate say is Steve's. I'm a part of the team. I am afforded an incredible opportunity and privilege to really have probably the biggest voice next to the Holy Spirit in your life. And I don't ever want to take advantage of that and overuse that voice because I know how important it is. Again, going back to not looking at it even through the filter of a wife, you know? Yes. And I can't, I know that there's been times that I've been manipulative and didn't even put the tag of manipulation on it.
SPEAKER_01Wow. Confession, huh?
SPEAKER_03Okay, well, you know what goes around because you're next. No. How would you manipulate? How would I manipulate? Yeah. I can't give out my secret, Steve.
SPEAKER_01Oh, this is magic. Mine's more, um, mine's more domineering. Yeah. My manipulation to want what I get what I want. I want that, and that's it. That's it. That's what I said. That's what I said.
SPEAKER_03That's what I want. That's what I want.
SPEAKER_01Rarely do we drop the boss card, but when it comes out, I'm pretty desperate. So I've lost my advantage somewhere. Oh my god. Which was always terrible because even when you and I go at it argument-wise, you're with your words, and I'm with I get so flushed in the moment. I I I don't know what to say. So I know it's hard for people to imagine.
SPEAKER_03Uh-huh. Well, I I manipulate probably through, gosh, I don't want to say it.
SPEAKER_01I wish it was sex, just so you know. That's not the case. No. But I'd give you permission to manipulate me anytime you want with sex. Sorry, Ashley.
SPEAKER_03Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Sorry, Ashley. Well, okay,
let me know.
SPEAKER_03I'm stunned. Now I don't know what to say.
SPEAKER_01Um, I think one of the things that um are important is uh if a couple's gonna work together, and this is in the home, okay, this is working in a business together, this is just working in general together, on a vacation, pulling things together. I think first you have to know what it is to understand each other's strengths. Right. So you're lighthearted, you're fun, I'm more focused and I'm results oriented. Yes. And those two together could be a great complement. If it's just one-sided, though, it could be unbalanced. Right. So that's important for a couple. If they're gonna work together, then understand each other's strengths. All then that requires after you try to find each other's strength, it it requires constantly looking at the uniqueness of each partner.
SPEAKER_03Absolutely. And when you're in a a room together where there's either a a I mean, I don't I don't know what their job would be, but from our perspective, we have a staff and we have a vision for every year. And I don't get to dictate that vision. I don't get to say, oh, I have a great idea. It has to be a God idea. And where there was a season where I probably thought, man, I did have a God idea and you saw it as a good idea, here's what our where I would manipulate. I would try to represent it, repackage it to convince you from the wife's um role, right? Which was not good. So when especially for what we do, the responsibility and the burden is on you to be right. It's not really on me. So, from even from that perspective of husbands and wives working together in a room, knowing that it you really do find safety in submission, you do find safety in knowing your place on the team.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And that has helped me more times not be mad at you on the drive home.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Which I drove home many days mad at you. Or mad in staff meetings and fuming, you know, which was immaturity and ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01You knew I was mad. Oh no, here we go. And now instead of focusing on what I needed to get done, I'm worried about, oh no, her feelings. Now we're gonna, this is not gonna end well.
SPEAKER_03And so we two things. We stopped having so many staff meetings. That helped. Just stop creating an environment for an argument. Um, but no, really, we both did learn to defer and refer to one another a little bit more and drop our defenses. You know, you would always say, You're stop being so defensive, stop being so defensive. And when I really do that and I go, okay, you know what? Then I'm truly not going to be defensive and think that I don't get heard or that I need to be heard or speak up more. When I let that go, when I do let that go, um, there's peace. We work so harmonious harmoniously together. And then I find you will turn to me and say, No, what did you really think?
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And we can have an honest conversation, and you are fair and you do listen, and you do need me to not be caught up in my feelings or what I think I need to get through or be seen or be heard. When I drop that, our relationship's so much sweeter.
SPEAKER_01You know, another reason I think if a couple comes to the table, they're wanting to work together, to help them do so. I I think they need to see themselves as role models.
SPEAKER_02Right.
SPEAKER_01One of the things you and I realize is it's one thing for us to preach a sermon. It's one thing for us to get up and sing a song. It's another thing for us to get up and interact with one another.
SPEAKER_03That's very true.
SPEAKER_01Which is why we like to get up on occasion and speak together, because it's a good role model. Even what we're doing right here, we're trying to be a model for other couples and other young women that and men that are feeling this challenge. Nobody said this was going to be easy. No. I mean, the first human beings that were ever put together, transformers by by God Himself, uh, Adam and Eve, uh, they struggled with this. And the enemy came in and presented thoughts to Eve that were contrary to what her husband was running with. And then all of a sudden, those thoughts, she listened to those voices, those voices led her to make a choice that has hurt all of us. So you we need role models out there saying, I hear the voices. I even hear what culture is trying to say about masculinity and femininity and feminism. I hear those voices, but you know what? That does not line up with my values that are going to help me make the right decisions for my family. I can't help what everybody else is doing, okay? Right. You mentioned Beyonce. I can't help what she and her husband are doing. I can only help what I'm doing here in my household, in this organization that we're leading. And I say to myself, if if you and I are going to come across as a good role model, then I have to make way for my spouse to come alongside of me and show there's a good synergy effect. That's right. That we get more done together than we do when we're trying to do it all on our own.
SPEAKER_03That's
right.
SPEAKER_01So it's a good role model for your kids. They see how you work together. It's teamwork. It's it really is. Even at the home level, at the home, how you how do you run the household together? Yeah, it's a team that you are demonstrating and you need it to be successful, raising those kids. You've heard some of our stories. I'll handle this one because he's now a male at this age. That's right. I need you to handle them, those females, because they are females and of age, and they need something more emotion and understanding. So we've worked together in every aspect, and when we do that with intentionality, it actually is a role model for others.
SPEAKER_03And that's what people need today more than ever. I really think we're so divided that I okay, I can sing and you can preach, and we do have our gifts and our talents. But we're finding as we're coming into 34 years of marriage, that what we get the most response on is when we just tell people let him be him, let her be her, enjoy one another, be a team. Yeah, fight for the team in your home, be a family, have family pride.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03And it's work, it's none of it's easy. It's all work.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03But you know, that's what makes it so fulfilling when you get to that place of man, we climbed this mountain together, we applied the principles, the truths that we heard, we applied.
SPEAKER_01And gosh darn it, they worked. Better than we imagine.
SPEAKER_03And then your children are left not only with a legacy, but they're raised in a home when in an environment when the rest of the world might be divided, bitter, angry, fighting, contentious. Your kids know harmony. And it's really, I mean, yeah, it's work, but it's not hard work.
SPEAKER_01You know, you mentioned harmony. I I would say to every parent, especially with young kids right now, if you can teach them this young, it'll be great. Teach them to be agreeable. Oh. Teach them to be harmonious. Yeah. Let them see the value of that. Yeah. That sometimes you let your side of things go just for the sake of harmony. And the right person that is in their life will see that and respect it, honor it by doing the same
thing.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Give and take all the way. Okay. Couple of questions, babe, as we bring this thing in. Okay. Do we take our work home?
SPEAKER_03Sometimes we do. We did in the beginning a lot. Yeah. But yes.
SPEAKER_01It's impossible to run a business and just leave the business as a husband and wife run a business and leave the business at the office when it's your world.
SPEAKER_03Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So yes, we bring it home. And the stress of it we bring home. Right. But also the celebration of it we bring home. Sure. You can't have good one without the other. It's it's the balance of okay, to whom much is given, much is required. And sometimes the bad stuff follows you home. That's true. And you you gotta hammer that out. That's true. You just can't let the stress of it divide you at home.
SPEAKER_03No, and there's rules that we put in place. Um I would say early on, but it was probably a little late in the game. Yeah. Where we would say, All right, that's it, enough. Turn it off. We are not gonna discuss this. We're getting home with the kids, we're gonna talk about them, we're gonna talk about the house, we're gonna talk about fun stuff, we're gonna get together as a family and do something, but turn it off. Yeah. Because we both care about what God's called us to equally. You know, I neither one of us have ever said, all you do is talk about the church. We've never blamed each other because both of us have been equally intense about this ministry.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_03And that's one thing. We never used it against each other ever. We had to turn it off. We had to tell each other, okay, both of us need to stop and not to and not bring this up and not discuss this. Even if it was good fun stuff, like go away on bake going away on vacation and start vision casting for the next year. You know? Yeah.
SPEAKER_01We had to say we can't do that. It's funny. I remember as a kid when our parents would go on a vacation. It was mostly road trips. And you know what we had to stop by and see in every city? The churches. Of course. Of course. Because it was our life. Our parents couldn't just leave it in Miami. They would take it on vacation with us. It was always our world. Yeah. And, you know, we we've learned a great principle there, man. When you make God all you want, He'll give you all you need. It's been the same with the ministry. We've just made the ministry all we want, and we have just received so much more because of it. So, yes, we bring it home, good and bad. We're not that strong at staying balanced in it. No, because I think that's that's not even reality. Right. You can't be passionate about something and just leave it at the office. You can't no, you bring it home and you realize, okay, there's working uh abilities here. There's things we got to do to be able to put it on pause when we get home. Which then talking about passion, does our work ever get into the way of our intimacy? I think it has. Sometimes. Sure. We're mad, we're angry, we're stressed, we're thinking of someone, we're just not in the or no, we bring up we bring up a subject that we start agreeing with on, and then when we're trying to psychoanalyze the situation, somewhere along in that conversation, we disagree and one of us are triggered.
SPEAKER_03We started agreeing about the situation, and then somewhere along the line, one of us either got defensive or didn't like what we heard, and then the next thing you know, we've allowed something to trigger us and put that on pause.
SPEAKER_01Is that our timer? That's our timer. So I'm gonna go ahead and cancel that and look at there. Yeah, I I agree with that.
SPEAKER_03And then that affects it instead of seeing the signs and knowing, okay, first of all, we don't even need to be talking about this right now. This is so not helpful. We're home and it started good, but it could get bad fast. And it's okay that there are certain times, there are certain subjects that should be saved for the office. Because a lot of times when you do get home, and we've said this with the kids, let's have a meeting, let's have an official meeting. If we need to discuss something, let's not just do it at home. We're all outside, we're in the pool, and we're having a fun time. Then the next thing we know, we're in a disagreement stance.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_03Well, we shouldn't even be talking about this right now. This is should be saved for the office.
SPEAKER_01And we've had to tell our kids the same thing. Hey, don't bring it home right now, please. We're in a different mode. Worst time to bring any of this stuff home is on Sunday evening. Right. Because emotionally we're low, we're physically tired. That's not the good time to bring it up. So we all we we have to course correct ourselves, but it does get in the way sometimes of our intimacy, which then brings me to this last question. Do we take time to power down and connect with each other? Yes, we do. Yes, we do.
SPEAKER_03Yes, we do.
SPEAKER_01Absolutely. We have to.
SPEAKER_03It's sacred for us now.
SPEAKER_01It is. It's it's an investment into our relational well-being, our emotional and spiritual well-being being. A lot of the trips we used to take when we were younger because we couldn't afford vacations were ministry trips. Right. We'd go to conferences. That's right. And all that was good, well and good, but even the function, the the funk of those conferences would would weigh on our relationship.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Remember those days we'd get there and we'd be looking at guys or or women that are singing or preaching, and we couldn't help but allow or fight off that that comparison. Absolutely. We couldn't allow that to happen. And in between one another. Oh, yeah. Oh man, I wish he would speak like that, or I wish he would sing like that. Mentally, we had our our battles with that because we could not allow that to get in the way. So the ministry trips weren't really you and I getting away to power down and connect.
SPEAKER_03No.
SPEAKER_01That's why vacations are so important in this season of our lives and our farmhouse, it's so important. Oh, yes. It's it's medicine to us, it's therapy. Right. And that's why, even as a family, we try that if we're going to get away, we try to do it as a family. And that means when we're out and we all go, we there's a void in the office. And we try to be as understanding as possible with all our staff members when they need to go out of town if they're married, to because we have to do that with our family and our kids. That's right. It's part of our well-being, our emotional and spiritual and relational well-being. So we do like to get around away and uh connect. And we're gonna actually do that for our 34th anniversary. We are. And we're gonna take the moms with us.
SPEAKER_03We are.
SPEAKER_01That's gonna be fun. We're gonna have a great time. Power down for family.
SPEAKER_03I just want to say my last thing. After 34 years of marriage, one of the things that we both have taken away is this. We know how easy it is for strong couples who do work together with the family to become divided. It's a tripwire.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03It does not take much to get on, you're on the same path on two different paths. And if we don't instill some of the things that we were fortunate enough to hear, have people in our life, we both had the right heart to take God at His Word, and we implemented those things. And it's still a battle. We're still practicing that. We we don't turn that off. You don't stop, you don't arrive.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_03We're continually making sure that we're exercising the good things and saying no to the bad things. Yep. And and wit and ministering to each other and not just to the people that God's giving us. We have to minister to one another.
SPEAKER_01Okay, Mary. Uh, you still want to work with me and for me? Even more now than before.
SPEAKER_03I'm and I'm serious, I mean that.
SPEAKER_01And I want to work with you and for you.
SPEAKER_03We finally got it figured out.
SPEAKER_01Finally got it figured out. And we only got a few years left. So hopefully we'll kill it on the thank you for joining us again on the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies.
SPEAKER_00You've just enjoyed another episode of the Family Business Podcast with the Alesssies. And we can't thank you enough for being a part of our podience. Now that you've heard more about the Alesssies, we want you to join in the Family Business. And here are four easy ways to do just that. One, make sure to follow the show right now on your app and download this episode so you can hear it at any time. Two, rate our show and leave a review. We love reading your reviews and we often share them on the show. Three, share this episode with someone who could use this advice and tell them why you enjoyed it. And lastly, four, you can go to AlesiFamily Business.com and leave us a voicemail comment or even a question so we can answer it on a future show. We'll see you here for our next episode at the Family Business with the Alessis because family is everybody's business.