Hello, and we want to welcome you to another episode of The Family Business with the Alessis. And today, since we are talking about family, family being everybody's business, Chris and I are at the table, and we're gonna have a great time. And we're talking about things in our podcast booth that we cannot talk about on Sunday. And so our podience is enjoying us and uh well joining us today, and we want to welcome you. But we also have somebody here with us.
SPEAKER_00This is not Kenny. Oh today, this is new family member and brother, Chris Muinya. Chris, that's why he's got a hat on. We put a hat on Kenny and called him Chris.
SPEAKER_01That's it. He's got some teeth in the back here. If you're not uh watching us on YouTube, you're missing out on the beautiful image of the bullhorns and a good fella's 42 man up hat, because that does represent um the new son-in-law.
SPEAKER_00Had to make sure with this conversation that he was a part of it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, because you from what I hear, the girls, the ladies, my wife, your wife, the sisters, Chris's wife, um, they're gonna be invading this place with their own episodes.
SPEAKER_00Well, they they would have last week, and they they shared some stuff. They're gonna be uh addressing it again after this. So we're kind of sandwiched in the middle here to tell the real story.
SPEAKER_01Actually, I think we're gonna start first. We're gonna set the record straight before they start lying about us and our behavior and such and um all this about Santa Claus being a vegan, you know. This is this is gonna be we gotta set the record straight. So that's what Chris and I are doing. And what we're trying to do is we're talking about our approach to the holidays, uh, which we do, we may not think about it, but we do have a lot. Our influence really uh does determine uh how much fun the holidays are for our family.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely, especially as men. We we set the tone, even though we let them, even if you know you let your wife set the tone for decorations or whatever, the way you behave can determine a lot about the holiday season. So we'll talk about that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, not you behave. What did you mean you behave? You point the finger at me on the case. No the man. Good. Good because you're you're coming into your own. I'm recognizing it for myself, too. Oh, yeah. The man.
SPEAKER_00Okay, is the house decorated at all for Christmas or is it so it's still uh at the time of the filming of this podcast, we're still set up for fall. Yes, we are about to start setting up for Christmas. Yes.
SPEAKER_01Did you set up last Christmas?
SPEAKER_00No, I was alone.
SPEAKER_01That's right. We were married.
SPEAKER_00No, no, no. We were alone. I was alone.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
SPEAKER_00Now this year, we're setting up.
SPEAKER_01This is gonna be good. Your first year married, and this will be a first for you. Yeah. As well as you, uh, Moinya. Yeah, please don't say too much, buddy.
SPEAKER_00They have all that room they gotta set up.
SPEAKER_01That is cruel. That is cruel.
Um, so let's let's talk about some things. First off, what are your some some of your memories of uh holidays past?
SPEAKER_00Well, I remember uh a lot of the stuff that we would do for you know, Thanksgiving or Christmas, sometimes they'd all kind of mesh. But I remember going every Christmas Eve, going to Grandmommy and Papa's house. Remember every single cousin sitting around. Uh, we had traditions in place, and those were so fun. Grandmommy would always buy specific sandwiches just for me, and no one else would literally touch them but me. And then I remember those changing and it going from less and less of big family to more our family, because our family was big.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00Um, so I remember that. I remember some of the cabin trips we would take and then making the change to let's do that on our own in Georgia. And I remember a lot of those things. Um, I remember fights, I remember all of the added weight and expectation of the holidays creating fights, but I remember some of the most fun we've ever had. The real D uh compressing at the end of the year and resting and recuperating. I remember a lot of that. No, all of that is part of the holidays and um oh, I remember accidentally lighting a tree on fire. Remember, I'm gonna let everyone know right now, whichever camera. When they say sparklers are harmless, they lie. Because I was told, I think I was five or six years old, I'm gonna be in Papa's house. And I remember than that. No, I wasn't. No, I was not, because I remember it was one of the first times I had had a sparkler. And I remember that because I didn't want to do the sparklers, but they said it's harmless, it's harmless. And so I'm holding on to it, and I'm so enamored by the fire. And you go, Chris, Chris, throw it. But I threw it too early, so I flung it into bomb trees, and one of those was set ablaze by a sparkler. I know that's some that's that's locked into memory there.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Well, they are some of the greatest times that we could have together, and uh, that's what we want to talk about. How how can we prepare as men coming to the holidays and really bringing as much fun as possible? Um, we do we set the the temperature of what the holidays are like. It's uh I'm not somebody that dresses up for the October 31st event, but the family had some friends over. You guys so you dressed up. So I'm listening to everybody talk about what they're going to be wearing. And I ran into my closet and I thought, okay, I had to go to grandmommy's house first because I had to go pick up something and fix a door and take out the garbage for and everything. So I I thought, you know, I'm gonna show up in this uniform. So I pulled out my Doral Police Department chaplain uniform and the big shoes. And that's how you showed up to her house, fat and leather belt, and I put that thing on and I came out, and everybody was gonna do a murder mystery, so I thought, let me go ahead and be the cop or the investigator in the murder mystery. And so I went ahead and dressed up only then to get a text because uh I guess somebody heard that I was dressed up like that, and they sent me a picture of the village people and said you're you're the village people guy. Macho macho man. So, anyhow, it's amazing because when I stepped out of the closet dressed, Gabby just got all excited, and of course, they had to all come around. Dad, change dad showed up or dressed up for the moment, and it's amazing how it set the atmosphere for a lot of people.
SPEAKER_00We weren't even gonna go because we had so much homework. I got that picture, I turned to Rochelle, and I
go, We've gotta go.
SPEAKER_01So, dads, the men bring a lot to the table when it comes to the holidays, and it's important that we do.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely.
SPEAKER_01Uh, so so how do we do this the right way? I I know from your perspective, um, this is gonna be new for you, and you're gonna be blending Rochelle's family or the celebration with Rochelle's family and the celebration with the Alesi family, and that's your responsibility as a husband.
SPEAKER_00Yep.
SPEAKER_01And it doesn't matter what the dynamics are on both sides, you have to figure a way to make sure your wife is enjoying time with her family and she's enjoying time with your family. That's gonna be pretty hard for you this year.
SPEAKER_00It is tough. It is, it is very similar to the wedding in the sense that the wedding is for us, but it's also for everyone. And anyone that says it's just one or the other is wrong. It's both. Yeah. And in the mean in the same way, you know, it is our first Christmas together. It is gonna be the beginning, you know, the most memorable Christmases for our marriage, the first couple by ourselves in an empty home, you know, it is all that, but that's not all it is. It's also, you know, our our time to see the grandmothers and to celebrate with them. It's the time to, you know, it's the time where some of our siblings aren't married yet, and we still get to be a part of it and enjoy them when it's just them. So it's it's a mix of both. It is. It's a mix of both.
SPEAKER_01Uh and it's gotta be fair. Yes, it does. Um as much as it can be. As much as it can be. It has to be fair. And here's here's what you can't do. You just can't say, all right, this is now we're we're married and we're gonna do this just for us. Christmas is because it's our first year together. We're gonna just celebrate Christmas for us and forget about the family that invested financially into your weddings, all the friends that gave you gifts. Um, there's a way that you can make Christmas about you as a couple, but also include the other family members so that the other family members who have invested into your lives are able to enjoy the holidays with you. I mean, for instance, it's it could be before Christmas ever arrives. Or, you know, you uh maybe you choose what what family members are you gonna hang out with at Thanksgiving? And then what family will you hang out with at Christmas? Um, the first week of December, you know, that's your week to start planning. Okay, who are we gonna go to dinner with? Yeah, what family member, who are we gonna jump in a car and drive around and go look at lights, Christmas lights with? Who are we gonna go shop with? Who are we gonna go get coffee with? You can plan all of that and not just keep it locked into the December 24th or 25th events. Uh, you're that's your chance to be able to, as you prepare in advance, uh include everybody so that then Christmas morning, you and your wife are waking up, just the two of us, it's the two of you, and then you know, okay, after two o'clock or something, we're gonna go start hanging out with other family, or you you plan it in between. Not that I'm putting any thoughts and ideas into your head here. Oh, but you're preparing.
SPEAKER_00But I I will say, I will say it it comes down to embracing conflict a little bit. It's okay. Sometimes totally okay. Sometimes the only true conflict that's hard to deal with is when people try to avoid it. Because then it then it bubbles over, you're you're pleasing one side way too much, and now you haven't considered, you know, the the balance of it all. So I hope Chris is listening. Um, because it it's I definitely my big takeaway is hey, embrace the conflict. You know, finding out that mom may want some more attention, uh, more time is okay. It's uh thank God she told me, you know, or finding out that, hey, you know, this one, this one area may be too much. We need to pull it back a little bit for fairness, whatever it may be. Embrace that conflict. You're not gonna perfect it, you know, December 1st. It's gonna, you're gonna have some nights where you're saying, hey, we were gonna do this tonight, but now we should probably do this tonight. That's okay. Embrace it. And then, of course, like we've said in in prior podcasts, you know, intentionality and discussion on the front end is important. I love what you and mom do. You know, you started talking to me and Rochelle and Chris and Stephanie about the changes for the holidays back in like July. Yeah, it was like Stephanie and Chris got back from their honeymoon, and it's like, let's start talking about the holidays. Just because there are expectations, there are there is weight and responsibility on everybody, and it's good to talk that out first. It really is.
SPEAKER_01And the the what we have to do as adults, uh, I know I have to remove my ego from it. Yeah, I can't be sitting back thinking, oh, poor me, look what my kids are not doing for me and not doing for mom. I can't do that. I got to sit back and say, wait, my young adult or adult kids have every right to want things a certain way. It's what you're supposed to do.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, we just place such a huge emphasis on the family part of it. And our culture in South Florida places the places a big emphasis on that family getting together. That uh if we're not careful, we can put undue pressure on one another. And I don't want to ever, parents should never pressure their kids to do anything when they're adults and they're married. Yeah. That's on the young adult kid. That's on the young couple to say, wait, I have to be honoring here. I have to think of my family. I can't be selfish at this point and just want to um hover over me and my wife or hover over me and my husband and just control that, keep it, us and our kids, and not include other family that all year long you should be building relationships with. You you want to include them. So you have to both be thinking what is the most unselfish way that I can celebrate this holiday and still find balance with me and my wife and our family getting our alone time, but also including my extended family members in it. And this is gonna be a challenge. It's it's a challenge with the way I'm even processing with Muena and Steph, you know, and they're gonna be having a child next year. I mean, all of this is thought processes that you have to figure out in an adult, mature manner before it ever comes. And that's why I love that we are always trying to promote being people of wisdom in our organization. Because wisdom tells us, it really does. It tells us that there is no such thing when it comes to uh God as unbalanced scales. Yeah. He he detests he doesn't like unjust scales, unbalanced, unjust scales. And couples and families have to realize they have to wisdom brings balance to the table. And balance means I give up something in order to get something. Yeah, I give up a little of what I have to do. I want to, hey, wait a minute. I get to do this and I get to also embrace my family. You're gonna have a much happier marriage in the long run
when you do that.
SPEAKER_00Absolutely. I think one of the balances, uh one of the challenges for me is keeping score. And this is one of the things that you've got to be really mindful of when you're scheduling and playing.
SPEAKER_01Okay, who'd you get that from?
SPEAKER_00What do you mean? My mom told me years ago, right in the face, you keep score way too much, and that's just stayed with me for years.
SPEAKER_01And she didn't say you're just like your father?
SPEAKER_00Honestly, no, she didn't. Good. She actually didn't, to be fair. This is the first time hearing of this game.
SPEAKER_01You keep score too?
SPEAKER_00Oh my gosh. I was just right there, wanting to keep score.
SPEAKER_01Who's winning? She or me? I'm not sure. Good.
SPEAKER_00Well, that's not even it's really not even like uh who's winning on my for me. For me, it's more I've given you this much, so I'm not gonna give you more or feel guilty about not giving you more.
SPEAKER_01But you do feel guilty.
SPEAKER_00Oh, I always do. Um but the thing that I'm I'm I even I even told Rochelle the other day, I said, I need your help with this. If you hear me saying these things too often, I want you to call me out on it. Because what I start to say is, you know, we're gonna be with them this day and we're gonna be with them that day. While that all may be true, nobody wins.
SPEAKER_01By the way, podians is us, the LSC family.
SPEAKER_00Go ahead. That's not that's not true at all. Chris, back me up. That's not what I'm saying at all. Whether whatever it may be, I'm saying, hey, if I'm doing this, call me out. Not because I'm wrong, but because I'm going from heart to head. And when I get in my head about it, then I may be with you, but I'm not even really with you. I may be at the event, but I'm not really there. It's because in my mind I've built this case as I'm here because now I have to be here, or I'm not there because, hey, I have to keep all the other scales balanced. And I can't do that. And it is kind of hard as the man of the household to be mindful of what my wife wants to be doing all the time, what's the balance there? Do we just do what she wants to do? And what's only going to make her happy because that makes me happy ultimately. I have to balance that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. No, you do, and you're doing a good job at this point, but that's a good thought. And Chris, one thing you said, this is a beautiful approach uh of being able to stay on the same page with our spouse and not allow things to become um divisive and uh combative. When you say to your spouse, and this is just a side note, sidebar, when you say to your spouse, help me with this, man, that that really opens up cooperation and it keeps it it's great for communication. Yeah. And it it keeps it from being something that becomes a bone of contention when you're able to say that.
SPEAKER_00Well, we've discovered both the recent and not so recent, I can't always read the room. And my wife has helped me read the room from time to time. Uh, we had a funny moment about that in the past. Have we ever brought that up on the podcast? The podcast? No. Okay, well, I was having a hard time reading the room, and and and she helped. Uh, but there are some times where I can't even get a good read on me. And I have to tell her what some of those, I guess, barometers are for when I'm starting to get a little too math-oriented in, okay, I put my time in there. I want our time, I want my time, whatever. Because even though that's kind of what we're saying, every, you know, be balanced, that's gotta come from a heart place. That's gotta come from I we're gonna spend time just you and I, because I want to. Not because I don't want to be with my family, or I have to say, I want to spend time with you because I want to. And I remember having to go through that and work through that. So telling Rochelle, hey, you know, the same way I can't read a room, sometimes I I I'm not getting a good read on me. So if you hear me saying these things, maybe once, okay, let it go. Twice, make a note of it before I say it a third time, approach me. Because I need that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_00I
need that.
SPEAKER_01Well, let's talk about something else. Um, money. What is that? You're newly married, uh, you're on a budget, you've got responsibilities calling on you, and your finances that are putting certain pressures and demands on you. Here, here's what could really um this could really hurt the holidays. And and I've learned from uh my experience on this one. Struck out a number of times when it came to money and the holidays.
SPEAKER_00It's okay because the best baseball players still strike out six out of ten times.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. And we look at Christmas videos and we're like, why did we spend so much on it? Somehow or other, the Lord always provided. And that's awesome. Yeah, our savings didn't have much, but you guys had a lot for Christmas. But here's sometimes um we have to be thinking in terms of budgeting in advance so that you don't experience it's it's real. Buyer's remorse on about the 15th day of January is real when you have to now pay that credit card for all of those expenses that you incurred during Christmas. And I'm not just talking about gifts, I'm talking about the the food, the families, the dinners that you go out into parties and the celebrations. Um, how do you prepare how how do we prepare ourselves in advance? And I, from a man's perspective, um, in our home, I pay the bills. Yep. Uh, mom spends the money, not true. I spend as much money, sometimes even more. Hunting is not uh a cheap uh hobby, it's expensive. So, no doubt I I come to the table. It's easier to point a finger at her when it why are you drinking your coffee so slow? Like you're hiding all of a sudden. I'm listening. Okay, cool. Because you're almost like, oh, yeah, mom's right on this one. You do spend too much money.
SPEAKER_00Actually, I was gonna defend you. Really? Yeah, but help me with this, Chris.
SPEAKER_01I need you to help me with this. Okay, so here's the point though. Um, when it comes time, I I I handle the money in our family. Yes, you do. I pay the bills. Yes, you do. I'm responsible for that stuff, right? Mom is very, very aware of spending, especially as we have gotten older, 34 years down the road, now married. She's aware of the spending and she works hard to make sure that now we're staying within a certain budget. But it hasn't always been that way. So while she was out having fun, the happy-go-lucky uh person in the family on the Enneagram. Okay, having fun, going shopping. She would come home and I'd go looking for the receipts. And then I would start questioning, okay, who's that for? And I would have a list, okay? We would start with, okay, um, Steve, Mary, Christopher, we'd have all the kids' names, and I'd say, Mary, whatever you buy, put on our list and tell me how much it was. And we'd try to make sure, okay, everybody was whatever, 100 bucks, 200 bucks, 500 bucks. We wanted to make sure, all right, let's keep it fair, but it wasn't so much keep it fair, it was let's keep a budget. Yeah, keep control of stuff. All right. And so we would always start good, but about the second week or so of shopping, that list got totally uh ignored.
SPEAKER_00That was back when there was actual toy stores.
SPEAKER_01Yes, there were. And so uh we ended up then always, I ended up always, get it right, being upset and putting pressure on mom to okay, either take something back, which was rarely the case, or stop spending. And usually it was then another 15 or so things that were still on her list that she needed to get. But she would go looking for one thing and then get. Distracted with about four or five other things and grab those. And then she was shopping for herself instead of the kids and instead of me. And then so it was always an issue. And if again a guy is kind of like the thermometer or the thermostat that sets the temperature in the home around the holidays, this is an area that should be addressed up front. Oh, yeah. And there, I think there's some good things. First, you know, that joking about it is not a bad thing. When we joke about the money, uh, it took away some of the stress as we would make comedic relief. There you go. So I would make jokes, or she'd make jokes. She'd look at me and think, oh, there's that, or say, there's that look on your face again. You're you're thinking in accountant mode, you know. Or uh it and it kind of made me realize, okay, there I am. I'm in that headspace of mine. Let me fix it. Uh, or I'd go in and I'd I'd see her shopping, and here she tells me she's gonna go shop for you, and all of a sudden she's over there in um, you know, Nordstrom's for herself, and I'd come up and make some comment, oh yeah, you're not in the children's section, you know. So that helped a little bit, you know. It seemed like the only store I didn't mind her going into was Victoria's Secret for some reason. Not really sure about that. But sorry, Chris. Joking about uh the money aspect of it does take away some of the stress and uh that should be lighthearted. I think also discussing it helps um the person, whoever is carrying the load financially. It helps them carry the load. It lightens it a little if you're able to both sit down and discuss what the budget should be and try to maintain um the discipline that is required. And, you know, once a week sit down and say, hey, how are we doing? Okay, well, there were unexpected expenses over here for dinner that we needed, or we needed to pick up an extra gift for the boss or something like that. You know, it's good to be able to discuss that because then the person who's carrying the load of paying the bills feels as though they're getting help. Yeah. If you can just discuss it along the way, it's gonna help them feel like, all right, I'm not doing this alone. And then I do think you need to agree on spending. You need to. You need to be able to say, all right, whether this is a gift that we're going to buy as a family to give each other or it's a trip that we're gonna take. And maybe this year, like in our case, we're not gonna be giving gifts to each other, we're gonna go on a trip. And the gift that we would have been giving will be now money spent on us getting away and enjoying some time away together as a family. So if you at least can agree on that way before the holidays start to show up, that's gonna help you when it comes to the money. And then work on understanding the other. Mom's a buyer, I'm the payer of the bills. Um, so I know the family just from my perspective. Yes, I got to keep my head down. I want to see the money and where it's spent, and I want to pay the bills, I got to do that. But I also know if, gosh, I was the one responsible for Christmas morning, it really wouldn't be all jolly. It wouldn't be all fun because the money wasn't being spent. So I realized, or the gifts wouldn't be given. So I realized that mom really does help the families celebrate the holiday. I know her role as the buyer, because quite frankly, sometimes I use my desire to not go shopping. I don't want to go get up in the crowd of shopping and handle the traffic. And sometimes I'll use spending as an excuse for not wanting to go shopping.
SPEAKER_00To have to leave the house.
SPEAKER_01But mom, my gosh, she can get up and go shopping and she's energized.
SPEAKER_00Oh, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Oh, I don't know how it energizes her to go and run and walk by these stores and buy this and buy that. I'm dreading it. I'm thinking, how many bags do I got to carry? And how far do I got to park away from the front door? How much do I got to tip the guy to bring my car to these things in my mind? I am not a good person when it comes to bringing the fun for the holidays, but she is. So I need to tap into that and understand it. And at the same time, she's learned how to understand. All right, Steve's not all that crazy when we're out here shopping, but he's gonna have to sit there in that room and stroke that check and pay the bill. And she's aware of that. So I think that's helpful for us.
SPEAKER_00I think so too. I think it's important for kids to understand hey, let dad be dad. Let mom be mom. If dad's not the best at bringing the fun because he's stroking the check, then you bring the fun. Then encourage mom in bringing the fun. Help dad. But don't try to force, in this case, don't try to force dad to be like mom too. And don't get mad at dad for being dad. You know, what we found is if there ever was a moment where the stress was so high for this reason that it was coming out a little bit. We didn't make things better by telling you not to be that way. It's probably better, hey, let the steam run out and then move on and start laughing. The only times that ever kind of ruined an event was when we really added to it. When we were like, why do you gotta be that way? Just have fun. Then it was like, okay, now we had a blow up. But there were like you talk about joking, even if it's not so jokey, just let it come out, sit down, and recognize, okay, hey, this is this is stressful. Let him be, you know, let him get it out there, but don't go back. Because one of the things that I'm finding now being married, and I'm actually on the lucky side of this conversation because Rochelle is the responsible one. I'm the one who has to lay down my pride here. Because I'm the one who's like, it's $20 extra. Don't you don't don't make me feel like you think I can't find $20 to take care of this. You want it? You go, you go get it. I'm the one that has to lower my pride and be like, you know what? No, we've actually made a budget. Not that I enjoy spending, but I don't ever like to feel like you're somebody feels like our environment or our moment is less because we don't have as much money as we'd want. So I'm lucky, you know, Rochelle calls October and November her months because we have saved a lot. And she goes, so that way in December we can have a Chris month. So I love that. I'm I'm lucky, but that comes down to me letting her be her too, lowering my pride, let her be her. She's gonna be good and help me with that. So I think that goes to you, you know. Let let dad be dad, let dad experience this. Uh, come alongside and help a little bit, you know. Uh I think that's all a huge part of it. If if this is everything that you're telling one of the men listening, well, if you're a kid listening, if you're an adult listening, and you know, let let other people be who they are in these moments. And don't try to, you know, fit a what is it, a square peg into a round hole? Don't
try to do that. Just let them be them.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Imagine how hard this is for families uh that are divorced. I'm sure it's oh the holidays are supposed to be so fun, but then you're dealing with your exes getting time with your kids. Buying them better gifts, maybe buying them gifts. You can't help uh but determine or wonder what got gift they gave them as opposed to the gift they gave you. What about when your kids ask you for money to buy your ex's girlfriend or new spouse a gift? That's gotta be tough.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I have nothing to add to that conversation.
SPEAKER_01That that's gotta be super tough. That's gotta be tough. And then how do you schedule your time around the holidays? Do you ever just get together everybody in one room? Are you able to do that?
SPEAKER_00Um, should you if the kids want to? Should you? I mean, that's hard.
SPEAKER_01That's that's real hard. That's real hard. And I think when the
wound, wound is so fresh, it's probably impossible. But maybe with time, um, for the sake of the family unit that's now it's been fractured, no doubt, uh, you you have to consider maybe having to really swallow hard to do something during the holidays you don't want to do. And yeah, hopefully you don't drink too much when you do get together with them just to be able to cope. Uh that's that's that's not easy. No, that's not easy. However, if you're giving some thought to it with um a lot of time ahead of you, if you're giving time to it, preparing for it, maybe there's a way that you can see the holidays uh a little bit more enjoyable this year because you are preparing in advance and you're saying, All right, this is what I realize. I'm gonna just have to grin and bear it and swallow hard and do it for the sake of it for it. Because who's who's it gonna be for? Who's Christmas for? Everyone else. It seems to be everybody else. As much as I would like for Christmas to be about me, I know that I have right now another seven of uh people in my family, immediate family, that need me to be focusing on them because I I just can't make it about dad. And it's got to be about the rest of the family members, and that comes to even the way in which we spend the money. Um big big uh discussions can still be had here, Chris. Uh wow, but what are we thinking talking about today? We're trying to say as men, we do set the thermostat on how fun Christmas is going to be. And we need to make sure we come to the table prepared and bringing our best game and trying to make it as fun and as memorable as possible.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So uh you know, I I I just using the example of a budget. When you do plan your budget or you do plan your time for the year, don't treat it like a budget. I mean the sense that Dave Ramsey would tell you the budget you set at first is not gonna be the perfect budget. You're gonna have to make some changes here and there. So be flexible with it. That's good. In the same way, you know, maybe you are a single mom and you're like, you know what, I'm gonna, I am gonna try to go be in a room with them. You know, take it year by year. Don't say this will be a new tradition. Just say we're gonna try it. Yep. And if next year we got to change things, we change things. Set the tone for the family and say, hey, we are gonna try to stick to this budget. If you go $100 over, okay, then now you know for the next year. $100 isn't gonna sink anybody. It's okay. Next year we'll set it at $100 more. Or hey, I am, I am, you know, planning on spending this night with you. And if by the next day I'm like, okay, I've learned something. I gotta look at it, it's loose. Set the tone, but be be loose with it too.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, Moina, by the way, I want to tell you what I want for Christmas, so make sure you get it for me. And uh yeah, ammo.
SPEAKER_00That's profound, Chris.
SPEAKER_01Or camo that ammo or camo. That that will be helpful. All right, Mr. Christopher Alesi. This has been another edition of our Family Business podcast with Chris and Steve Alesi. And thanks for joining us and even having Muina at the table with us. What? Happy holidays?
SPEAKER_00Merry Christmas.
SPEAKER_01Merry Christmas.