A Fight for Life and Love: How the War in Israel Defined a Marriage | S7 E26

What would you do if you had to fight for your life and your country, while you were starting your life with your spouse? 

This isn't a movie plot. It's the real story of a marriage forged in the middle of a war. 

Hilla and Arik Nehamkin are a Miami couple who started their relationship just before the attack on Israel on October 7th, 2023. Both of them have spent years living in Israel.  Arik has served in the Israeli Defense Forces and voluntarily returned to duty in Israel when the war broke out.  In this powerful episode, he and his wife Hilla share with host Stephanie Muiña about their Jewish heritage, the impact of the war on their marriage, and their devotion to their homeland.  

You'll see how a spirit of resilience can strengthen your marriage and family, even if it is tested in the most extreme circumstances. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Coming Up In This Episode
• 3:16 Meet Hila and Arik
• 7:17 Their Love Story
• 11:35 October 7th
• 19:13 Their Resilience & Engagement
• 25:25 Face The Fight
• 28:58 Keep God On The Throne
• 36:41 A Takeaway For Christians

Transcript

0:00

There is a there is a saying. There's a it's a it's a law. It's a Jewish law. It's called pikoar nefesh. Pikoar nefesh means you do anything and any consequence to save your life. Mhmm. And because because because Judaism values life so much, it's it it comes above all else. And welcome to The Family Business with the Alessis. My name is Stephanie Muina, and I'm honored to be running this podcast today. It is a beautiful day because we have two wonderful guests with us. We have Hila and Ark Nahampkin with us. You guys can just say hi. Hi. Hi, everybody. This is their first time doing a podcast, and this is actually my first time, I think, ever hosting a podcast with guests. Okay. I wanna thank my dad, pastor Steve, for allowing me to do this. It is a really fun topic that we're touching on today. It's a topic that is near to my heart because I have a little bit of history in this topic. I've been learning about it. I've been reading about it. And we are privileged with a friendship with Aric through some friends of ours. Gilne Hamkin, you are his son. You guys work physically close to us next to our building. And, you have a lot of experience in this. But today, we're talking about Israel, Israel. And, Arc was over in Israel. You were I want you to definitely give your background, but we're gonna dive into this topic. We're gonna talk on the tenacity of the Israeli people and hear your stories and hear about your your knowledge on all of this. But just so you know, we are pro Israel, the people of Israel, the heart of Israel. We don't know all the facts, but we know that Israel has seen so much. Our our messiah, Jesus, came and lived in that region. And I always like to say, I'm attached to the nation of Israel, not because of what has happened there, but also because of what is happening there. I went back in 02/2019 for a trip with FIU, and after that trip, I have been obsessed. So that's what we're gonna talk about today. It's it's a sensitive topic, but we want people to know that this is a very real thing that's happening right across the the pond. And it's happening right now. Lots of stuff is happening currently, but we want to just inform our listeners about the heart of Israel. So go ahead and introduce yourselves, share a little bit of your background with Israel and what you currently do there now or how it's in your daily life now? You I think we should start by just saying thank you for having us. Yeah. Exactly. You wanna start it's kinda tough because we're two people, you know, who It's okay. But I'm gonna go ladies first. You know, you introduce yourself. Okay. My name is Hila. I am I was born and raised in The United States. My parents are Israeli, so I am first generation American. I grew up in South Carolina. I moved to South Florida when COVID hit. I actually got my master's at FIU. Nice. And, I grew up with two really, really proud Israeli parents. So, you know, we spoke Hebrew at home and culturally and religiously. We grew up Jewish, and we spent every summer in Israel. We actually moved to Israel for two years. So Yeah. You did a little bit of it. Yeah. Middle school. Seventh and eighth grade I spent in Israel. I have friends to this day that I went to school with from there. And, I mean, I love Israel more than anything. It's, it's an unexplainable type of love. Yes. And, I think Arik's story is a little bit more interesting about Israel. So I'm gonna leave it off to her. So. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I'm Mark Nahamkin. First of all, I also wanna say thank you for, you know, having us here and all that your church does for Israel. Mhmm. It's so important to us to be here. That you guys have also made very, very generous donations, to keeping the safety of Israel so that, you know, we take that to heart. That's, that's very important to us, and we And we never take that for granted. I'm not a a podcast guy in general. But when I heard that you guys asked us to be on it, it was, like, a %, I'm working on it. I I got a text from you, and I was like, he doesn't do this stuff. So I texted him, and I was like, hey. Like, I think this is really important. Like, will you do this with me? And he was like, of course, we have to do this. Yeah. Man. And I was shocked. I'm so glad. I was like, okay. I'm so glad. So I, I actually grew up here until I was 12, Israeli parents. Mhmm. And then it was very important for them for us to grow up in Israel. So when my dad retired, we moved over there. And I did moved over there in the seventh grade, and I did middle school, high school, the military there. Mhmm. And then, and then college, and then I I came back. It was also kinda like COVID. There was COVID. We we showed up at to Miami at the same time, not knowing, obviously. COVID COVID shut down, Israel pretty much. Yep. COVID was more like New York than Florida. So it was really it was closed down. So I was like Wow. And I just finished my studies, and I said I had an opportunity to to come here and, and work for for two people at, that are part of your what's the word that you would You're a church. Is it church or is it congregation, though? Or You could say both. Congregation is very official. Yeah. Okay. Church. You can say church. Church. So, and I've been, you know, they were like like they are a family to me. So it was you know the whole backstory. I'm not gonna get into that for the for the podcast. Because we have, like, you you they're family to you and they're family to me. Correct. And we rarely cross paths. This is all one big family. Right? Oh my gosh. They raised me. Like, David and Tony. Oh my gosh. It's it's really funny that Shout out to David and Tony. Shout out to David and Martinez. Oh, I love that. We love you guys. But, yeah. So I and I served in the military. I was a a commando there, a combat soldier. And pretty much I was telling you this before, you know, being an American, being an Israeli, you know, culturally, I'm I'm both. You know? On the one hand, you know, I, you know, know what good hummus is. And on the other hand, you know, not this American stuff. On the other hand, the Super Bowl is like my favorite holiday. So it's, It really is. I have to host every year because it's like a birthday to him. That is a great mix. Yeah. That's a great cultural mix. Actually, it's really funny. When I was younger, I manifested this man. Okay? I said, please, God, send me a man that's, like, super country boy, loves to fish, loves to hunt, but, like, also speaks Hebrew. Like, will come home and, like, tell me, like, I love you in Hebrew. There's literally, like, five guys, and he and he he delivered. This is true. How did you guys meet? Because I also wanna hear about that. Okay. You want me to tell this story? Yeah. You tell it. Yes. You tell it because I heard about a little bit of it, and I love this story. So my mom and dad shipped me off to Miami pretty much to find a husband I love it. If we're being totally honest. Okay? They're like, yeah. You know, go get your master's degree, but, like, also, like, please go find a husband. Alright. Great. So I come down to Miami, and, you know, there are we have a very large Jewish community in Miami, especially an Israeli community. I've I've I've noticed that when Israelis leave Israel, they love to come to Miami because it's very similar vibes, very similar culture, so they feel like Miami is, like, almost like an extension of Israel. Yeah. So, you know, I was going out to all these, like, Jewish parties and Jewish events, and, like, we have so many holidays. And every holiday, we have, like, event coordinators that, like, coordinate events specifically for us to, like, bring Jews together. It's really a beautiful thing. And I spent a year and a half going to these parties. I was like, alright. I'm gonna meet my husband at one of these parties. Like, it's for sure. And Yeah. The I met him at a party. She met me. She met him at a at a pooling party. Like the is written in the Jewish Halloween. Hurom. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Purim's the Jewish Halloween. So for her, it was definitely I'm gonna chime in here, but it was Go for it. Love at first sight for her. Oh my god. Okay. Even if I'm the one that said this. Listen to me. I I that we were cram packed like sardines on this dance floor, and he walked by and I looked at my friend and I was like, who is that? That's hilarious. I I always say someone must have been dressed as, like, Cupid or something and, like, got her in the butt exactly while she was looking at me or it doesn't, you know It was it was love at first sight for me and I was, like, alright, like, you know, I gotta go I gotta go try and, like, have a conversation with this man. That's amazing. Well, how are you guys dressed? What was the costume you're wearing? Because that's, like, I just I was in an all black outfit with some kitty ears, and he literally was, like, dressed normally. He had a he had a he had a tank top on that said Melech, and in and in Hebrew, that means king. I was like, I'm the king of the party. Okay? And I was like, this man. The confidence was high. Okay? It was a Yeah. Listen. He didn't know he was gonna meet his wife that night. Okay? That's crazy. He was he was having a great time. He was there with a friend who, you know Yeah. Lives in Israel, was actually at our wedding. And, yeah, I had I I had to work hard for this one. I asked him out. He said no. That's great. No. Yeah. I didn't say no. He well, you know. Well, you asked him out? No. I I I I said yes. Made me work for it. You're totally Israeli. You are in Israel. He made me work for it. I spent, like, a month, like, trying to, like, figure out how I was gonna meet this man again and, like, go on a date with him. But I was living I was living in The Keys, though, at that time. I only had come up to Miami, like, for to meet my buddy that that was in town. So for me, it was like, okay. I live in The Keys. I met this girl. I'm not gonna, you know Oh, he told me. He was like, this is never gonna work. I don't live here. I don't know. I was like, oh, you wait. I was gonna wait till I, you know, till I moved, you know, up here. That's the way. I said just wait. Then I started making the drives until I actually moved up here once we started dating. You know? He I said just wait. Just wait. Yeah. That's, that's our little background. We were we were out the night before our first date and, you know, I I we've touched on this off the podcast. Like, we we're both Jewish, but we come from, like, different religious backgrounds. Like, I grew up more religious. He grew up a little bit more secular. And we were having a conversation. I'll never forget it. Like, I was telling him, like, the way I practice Judaism and the way you practice Judaism, it's a very day to day thing. Like, I keep kosher, and I, you know, I celebrate Shabbat and, like, all these things, and he and he does it. And he looked at me and he looked and I swear in these words, he was like, this is never gonna work. And I said, why wouldn't you say something like that? And he was like, you know, because, like, you you do all these things, and I don't I don't practice this. And I was like, I don't see a problem. And he was like, yeah. So we're all, man. She was right. No. We today, we make it work. I go a little bit to her side. She comes a little bit to my side, and then I'll in the middle. And it's So then you guys got you dated for how long? For We dated for two years. Two years. Almost two years. We dated for a year and ten months before he proposed. And I wanna hear about that story. Okay. The story of how y'all proposed in the whole thing. Well, the war broke out on October 7. Mhmm. And we had been dating for about a year and a half at that point. And I'll never forget this day. Do you want me to talk about, like Yeah. How that day kinda Yeah. Do you want me to, like, roll into that? Because Sure. Yeah. You can. So the morning Israel and and The United States are on a seven hour time difference. So everything that happens everything that happened the morning of October 7 was, like, the middle of the night

for us. Got it. Because it started at 06: 12:09

30. So it was not the middle

of the night. Going on at 06: 12:13

30. Like, only under people started to understand around,

like, eight, which is 01: 12:17

11 nine. One AM here. So

06: 12:21

30 in the morning over in Israel. Over in Israel. And to First six thirty in the morning was the first rocket. Yeah. Yeah. And then they called up everybody. Like, anybody who does reserves, they called them up. I have two younger brothers that live in Israel, and one of them called me at three in the morning. Can I tell the story? Yeah. You can. But okay. Long story short, like, I woke up at I woke up at around, like, seven in the morning our time Yeah. To, like, somebody blowing up my phone. And I was like, it it's a Saturday morning. Like, what? What's going on? And I see two texts. It was one from my best friend. Hey. Is your family okay? And the second text was from my now father-in-law. He was like, turn on the TV. There was a terrorist attack in Israel. Now to anybody who doesn't know, like, a terrorist attack in Israel is not something that, like, normally makes headlines. Right? Like, unfortunately, it happens very frequently, and it's a it's an event where it's like, okay. It happened and, like, you know, it was dealt with and it's been contained and and we move on. Yeah. To get a text from my father-in-law who's, you know Used to, you know Used to these types of things. Yeah. To get a text like that, I I woke up and I was like, Alec. Yeah. Yeah. Wake up. And he was like, what what what's going on? And I was like, I don't know. But, like, we turned on the TV, and and I'll never forget it. Well, we couldn't tell at the beginning. When we turned on the TV, it was 40 people are dead, which is a lot of people. It's so many people. And and that's a big that would be considered a big terrorist attack. And I said, okay. There was a big terrorist attack by Ben. That number. That it was actually an invasion. Yeah. Yeah. An invasion by Hamas and the Nova Party where there were 3,000 people there and 10% of the people there, you know, didn't Three hundred and sixty four people were killed at the Nova Party. Crazy. So they're literally going to, like, a party, you know, in Miami, and these terrorists showed up. Well, he got a call from his brother in the middle of the night. And Yeah. I got a call at three in the morning from my brother because they called both of them up. And your brothers were back in Israel. So they like, they just everybody that's By the time we called them, they were already on base. They were already Yeah. So when he but when he called me at three, I picked up the phone. I said, does he forget that there's a time difference? And I hung up and I I silent and I remember call. And I silenced my phone. Didn't take the call. I didn't take the call. And which, you know I remember even that morning, I was like because we showed up to the office and they were talking about it. And I, like a fool, was like, guys, this sorry, but this happens often. That's what we That's what we said. That's how I was at the beginning. And then what he said. The numbers started going up, and then the videos started coming out. An hour later, it's a 50 people. Two hours later, it's raining out. I told her I told her this this is really bad. You have to fight. And this is something that never never happened before. Me and he said, nothing like this has ever happened before. And I was like, woah. Like, coming from somebody who served in the military and, like, we're talking about an elite special unit that specializes in counterterrorism. Yeah. For him to say something like that That's wild. I I I get goosebumps to this day, like, thinking about that day.

Crazy. And we were just like, kind of it's very similar to 09: 15:19

11 because I'm very I was born at the end of ninety four. So I wasn't even I was I was six when when nine eleven happened, and I kinda remember it. Yeah. You know, a lot of people that are older than us, they really they remember exactly where they were when it happened. So this was like like our nine eleven where you're also glued to the TV. Yeah. You know, watching, you know Hoping it's not one of your friends or family that's over there. Well, it was my my friends and family. Yeah. So for My cousin was killed on October 7. Yeah. Adik lost a really good friend on October 7. Really I had a really good friend and, you you know, you wanted to speak about, the resilience of the of the Israel Hills. I had a really good friend of mine who I served with, Ilan Moshe Yaakov, god of venture soul, who was at the Nova Festival. And at the beginning, the rockets started flying. That's something that happens it doesn't happen on a day to day basis. But because we have the Iron Dome system, which, you know, shoots it in the air, for the most part, there's no casualties for us. It intercepts A great majority of us. You know? No. It saves lives. Crazy. It saves lives. So, like, there the people that were at the Nova Festival were like, oh, that's sorry for my language there. You have to beat that one. They they saw the Rockets and it was a lot of Rockets. Like, they it was just an insane amount. It was hundreds of them. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Which is which is rare. They usually shoot just the top of them. Videos. But, but they didn't think that, you know, Hamas terrorists were gonna show up to the to the Nova Festival. They thought it was just like a crazy bear but, like, what do you how do you say barricade? Bar barricade? No. Not barricade. Like a barge of like, how do you say a lot of rockets being so there's a word for A barrage. A barrage. That's the word. The word. Mhmm. I'm thinking of the word in Hebrew. Yeah. No. So it was like a huge barrage of of rockets. I mean, we're talking hundreds. Yeah. Like and and correct me if I'm wrong. I'm actually not a % sure. But, like, in Israel, when a when a rocket's fired, we hear a siren, and the siren's kinda like Yeah. Yeah. And for every rocket, there's one siren. Siren. So that that siren was it was blazing for god knows how long. Because the rockets weren't weren't stopping. Because they wouldn't stop. And and they count each one. Right? So the Iron Dome is able to intercept, what is it, 95%, if not more? Something like that. Yeah. When there's a larger, like, barrage, that number decreases. Right? Because, like, there's only so many that you can shoot down. Yeah. There's only so many. So, like, these these people are out in an open field. There's nowhere really to there are no bomb shelters out in the middle of the desert. But what I There are few. But but what I wanted to say about about my my good friend is one of the things that he did, and just showing the resilience of him, but that's how a lot of Israeli people are. He takes out his phone. Okay? He posts he posts on social media. Line. You see the rockets behind him, and he says, you know, he's, like, talking to to and there's no terrorists. Like, he doesn't know what's gonna happen. Okay? This is just, like, right when it started. Yeah. Like, the very first And he he speaks to the camera and he says, Israel, I love this country so much. Why? Even though we have all these rockets and life is not always easy here, this is the only place we need to be. This is the place we call it. I love this country. This is our home, and we're always gonna protect our home. And Stop. That was his last social media post. That was his last post. Stop. That was the last thing that he posted on social media. Did he kind of know? No. Nobody knew. He didn't know what was gonna happen. Like, as these rockets were flying, Hamas was, like, trying to cross the border. So so there were no Hamas Harris in Israel yet when when the Yeah. When he does the video. And it's like and now, like, you know, this is kinda where we differ in opinion. Like, for me, like, for you to pull out your phone and say that when, like, you don't know your life is about to end, like, how do you explain it? That was a That was that was God. Yeah. Okay? To me, that was God. So that's where I wanna ask you how because you guys you guys were planning marriage at this time. You were planning engagement. We weren't engaged yet. You weren't even engaged. We're not engaged yet. Well, the war broke out. The war broke out. Engagement story. So, like, the war broke out. He looks at me. Now mind you, the first, like, forty eight hours, we were glued to the TV. Yeah. Saturday morning, Sunday, all day. Monday, I, like, wanted to puke at the idea of going to work. Yeah. I was like, there's no way. Yeah. My two brothers got called up, so they're now in in the military. My whole family is in the military at this point. My unit, the guys that I serve with also got called up. He looks at me on Sunday night, and he goes, Hila. Like, mentally prepare yourself. I'm gonna go back. Yeah. And your dad as well. Right? Yes. So I was like, are you kidding me right now? Now I would never ever ever ever ever in a million years tell him no you're not going. Yeah. All my friends were like, yo, I wouldn't let my husband go. I said, I can't not let my husband go. Like, who am I to tell him don't go? Yeah. And and you know what? If if I had served in the military and I didn't because I was born and raised here, I would have gone in a heartbeat. Yeah. So so who am I to tell him not to go? Yeah. And and he did. Two weeks later, he him and his Yeah. Like, for me, it was flight. It was my country's under attack. Yeah. My my team, my unit, all are enlisted, and I'm gonna be here. You know, my two brothers, my younger brothers, I'm the role model. Okay? And I'm gonna be here while they're, you know, over there, you know, fighting for our country. Like, it just couldn't This was this was a war for our existence. So when we quickly we in the in the first few days, we understood that. So how did you guys stay positive? Like, you just pretty much answered the question, but how did you stay positive through all of that? Because you want to just get married. You guys want to get engaged. Your family's not here. Your family's fighting. How do you just stay in the middle of the night? Of getting married didn't cross our minds when we were going through this. Yeah. Like, he went to Israel, and and I'll let you tell your side of the story, but a few weeks later, I came to Israel. Mhmm. I dropped everything, and so did he to, like, even just to be there. Yeah. There was so much more that you could give. The way I I could literally never even put this into words, but, like, the way that our country came together after October 7 was something that I knew we do. Mhmm. But to experience that Yeah. Was, for me, a a godly moment. Wow. It was a godly time. Yeah. Because all of a sudden, there was no right wing, left wing. All of a sudden, there was no conservative, not conservative. All of a sudden, there there we were all people fighting for Our existence. Our existence. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, it's funny because somebody said to me, you know, like, when the war broke out, there were tens you know, there were multiple, multiple planes from all around the world picking up Israelis to bring them home. Yeah. It was and and these people wanted to come to Israelis from everywhere else to Kuwait. Everywhere in the world. There were planes I remember this. There were planes being chartered just to get Israelis home. Usually people are trying to run away from the airport. People are usually trying to get there. People were begging to come home. I love that. They're like, I need to be on the next flight home. I need to be on the next flight home. And everybody Just to be there. No. The second they got there, they go home, they grab their uniform, Anybody wanted to be there. Survivors of the NOVA Festival. Crazy. They showed up with their cars with bullet holes in their cars to base. They were like, yo, where do you need me? Yeah. I'm here. That's the spirit that I I really love about the Israel peep Israeli people because they are just they don't know anything else except to fight back and to be strong. And it's like they don't even have a thought there that crosses their mind to give up or to give in. If there is a conflict, they are there to fight. And I think the rest of us, we we question we want we would never wanna live in a country that's constantly in war with other countries. I don't think we do either, but we have We prefer. We prefer. We prefer. Well, we don't have a choice. You don't have a choice, though. And you guys but you're not afraid of that because a lot of people run away from it, like you said. A lot of other countries, they run away. But we know that nobody's gonna fight our battles for us. Yeah. There's nobody coming to save us. Yeah. If we don't save ourselves, there's nobody that's gonna be there to do it. So We live in a in a tough neighborhood. Yeah. Our neighbors aren't super friendly, sometimes. Yeah. So, you know That's the biggest understatement. Yeah. Yeah. No. But, you know, we need to we know how to protect ourselves. We know what we need to protect ourselves, and we're willing to protect ourselves too. We don't want anybody to do it for us. Yeah. There is a there is a saying. There's a it's a it's a it's a law. It's a Jewish law. It's called. Means you do anything and any consequence to save your life. Mhmm. And because because because Judaism values life so much, it's it it comes above all else. Mhmm. Right? So, you know, any religious ask any religious value, any any religious law, it it gets swiped right under the rug when when it's when it's life or death. So I'll give you the perfect example. There are rabbis that, you know in Florida, there are rabbis that drive ambulances, special ambulances on Shabbat when they're not supposed to because because an ambulance is a life or death situation. So any law, any any value, life comes above all else. Yeah. And when you're raised on that value, you know, it's how you operate. You don't you'd there is no option to, like, hey. Like, can can we leave? I don't wanna do this. Like Yeah. I don't know. There are very, very, very few people that, like, didn't go to base when they were called. Yeah. And I mean, like, singles. Yeah. Everybody wanted to go. He wasn't even called. Yeah. Yeah. They didn't call me. He fought. Yeah. Like Yeah. Literally argued with commanders to be like, I don't care. I'm showing up to base. You know, it's it's so beautiful because, like, we have a Bible verse that says to be thankful even in your iniquities, because it builds character and which is produces perseverance, which then produces hope. And it's such a good mindset to have that. The fight that you have to face is actually good for you. It's actually something you need to be thankful for because it produces a fighting spirit in you. It produces a spirit in you that says, I'm not afraid of the battle. I'm gonna be there. I'm gonna be the one. It is my responsibility to fight this battle, and I will win this battle. Yeah. And it's it's something that even us Christians, it's such a good mindset to embrace because it it allows you to walk through your life not afraid of the battle you face with your family and your marriage and with your kids Yeah. That this is our battle to fight, and we will fight it together, and we are not backing down from this. Yeah. So something that I love about the Jewish people and Israelis too, it's in your culture. The commitment that you guys have to family and to overcoming any conflict for the sake of family staying together. Like, you say your best friend is your cousin. We love that. We are all about that. What what do you guys think is the motivator for that? Is it is it a Jewish thing? Is it an Israeli thing? It's it's both. I mean, I could tell you the the Jewish aspect of that, and and we actually talk about it a lot because it's something that we call. Is the peace in the home. And, again, something very similar to, like, how life comes above all else, so does so does family in the home. Mhmm. So I can give a super quick example of, like, when we first started dating, I had expressed to my parents that I was a little bit concerned that we weren't on the same religious Yeah. We didn't have the same, like, super like, religious, like, practice. Practicing. Yeah. Like, I I was a a more practicing than he was. And It's more from it was actually it's funny because I'm kind of a not a foodie, but I food is a very important thing in my life, and kosher makes it a lot more difficult than, like, she would know. Loss. Yeah. In the kosher loss. So that's what I wasn't that's the main, you know, that was probably the main factor. It was. So, anyways, I I told my mom. I was like I remember crying to her. I was like, I love this man so much, but, like, what am I gonna do? You know? Like, I don't know, like, if it's gonna be difficult raising kids when, like, I see things one way and he see sees things the other. And she said, Elon, do you hear yourself? And I was like, why? And she was like, what did I what did, you know, dad and I always teach you? And I was like, what? Remind me because I forgot. And she was like, the peace in the home comes before anything that God tells you. Okay? God tells you to keep kosher. Love that. But you know what he tells you to do before? Make sure your marriage works. Yeah. You fight for your marriage. Mhmm. So if you need to meet in the middle and that means you doing a little less and him doing a little more, that's what you're gonna do. And he said, don't you ever, ever, ever, ever, ever compromise. Oh, but, like, you wanna practice it one way? If it causes conflict, you drop it immediately. Yeah. So that's what I did. It's great because as Christians, we believe that if you just keep God at the center of your home, he will because we have a, a topic of conversation in the church world that some people will play will replace the family what is it? That they will sometimes put their children on the throne instead of God on the throne. They'll put their marriage on the throne and not God on the throne. And the truth is, when you leave God on the throne of your life, when He is your God, when you live to just please God, He's going to guide you back to your family. For sure. The first thing He'll tell you is prioritize your family, prioritize your children, prioritize your marriage, and prioritize your children. So it's a it's a formidable, like, strategy. If you pursue the peace in the home that God is telling you to pursue, then he's gonna guide you right back to your family. Yeah. There's no way for you to confuse that if you just live to please God. So I think that's beautiful. Yeah. I think also from one of the things since, you know, I met my wife, she was more into the traditions of of Judaism. And one of them is every Friday night, you have what's called Shabbat dinner. You're going into Shabbat. My family used to not really do that. I think more of us from a standpoint that, you know, we would always have meals together. And pretty much on on Friday night, no matter what, you have a dinner together, you read the same verse from the bible. Okay? Thanking God for the food, thanking God for the wine, etcetera. And, you know, she that was really important for her to do even though I I would never like, I've gone to a couple, at my, you know, friends that their family did that every, every Friday. But her wanting to bring that into the house, you know, I said, well, that's a that's a beautiful thing because that ensures that her and I every Friday work together. And then hopefully, God willing, you know, we'll have, a big family. My kids will always be next to the table on Friday, and we'll, you know, we'll bless we'll bless the food. We'll bless, you know, we'll bless us being together. I love that. But that's when where where I'm coming from, where why the Jewish people and the Israeli people are so family oriented and why, you know, they make it such a high priority is probably because of the things that we practice. I I have to tell you I love that. There's a there's a and we were talking about this also before. Like, in in Hebrew, like, the word man and wife, the difference between the two words is one letter, and that letter is the letter of god. And the letter of god is actually in the word that is woman, isha, instead of ish. My mom always explained to me, she said, listen. You know, you're gonna it's your responsibility to bring God into the home. That's on you because because, essentially, the wife builds the home. Right? The wife raises the kids. The wife makes the meal. The wife does it in in a traditional sense. Right? Like, we have we have evolved as a people, but Yeah. At least in my home, it's still that way. Okay? And she said, listen. You're gonna be doing these things, so it's your responsibility. Like, what you do will set the tone for your house. And, again, I grew up super religious. I walk blindly in god's faith. Like, the worst thing can happen, and the worst thing did happen. Okay? And somehow I still believe in god. Yeah. There are so many so many so many days have gone by where it's so human to be like, why? Yeah. Why'd you do this? Yeah. Like, there's no way that, you know, if if if you're the god of all good and, like, there's no way you would do something like this. But you always tell me he's the god of all good, but also And the god of all evil. Yeah. So Yeah. Like, he creates all of it. Yeah. There's a there's a pray I I pray every morning. There's and it's, like, it it out of out of a, like, out of Yeah. Like so it's the same prayer every morning. Gotcha. And it's, you know, thank you for waking me up. Thank you for everything that I have. And the beautiful thing, it's like, thank you for all the good that you do. But then there's the very last paragraph is thank you for everything that you haven't given me. Thank you for everything that you do that challenges me. Thank you for all the times that I'm sad. Thank you for all the times that I'm upset because you don't understand good until you understand bad. Right? Like, you can't appreciate good until you've experienced bad. Yeah. All the things that you do for me, they're either building me, they're teaching me, they're preparing me for something that I don't know that's coming, but I know you do. Yeah. And so I as difficult as it is for me, really, truly, like, I'll never understand why why we experienced what we experienced and why we continue to experience what we're experiencing. But the only thing that lets me sleep at night is, like, I I look up and I'm like, you have a plan. Yeah. Right? Like no. And whether I whether I ever figure out what that plan is, whether you ever try to tell me what that plan is, I gotta believe that you have a plan. So, like And, you know, you guys are struggling with a war in your home country. You have Christians that are having to deal with an immigration policy right now that might interrupt their whole life here. We have people in our church battling cancer, like young, lively people with children struggling with cancer. We have people here whose husbands have died in overnight just like that, and they have kids that they have to deal with. So you the the struggles are probably not the same, but our faith in God is very, very, very similar. And the stuff the prayer that you just said is very similar to the prayers that we pray. Like, Lord, I have to trust you no matter what I go through. And I'm thankful that you allow me to walk through these things to make me stronger and to bring me closer to you. And our religion, I guess you could say for lack of a better term, we are very big on relationship. We the motto of our church is relationship, relationship, relationship. Relationship with God first, relationship with each other, and then relationship with those outside of the church so that they can have a relationship with God. But the first one, relationship with God, it's made through a relationship with Jesus. And we talked about this off the podcast. We do not need to get into that right now. Oh, it's okay. But it's a it's a relationship. It's a why are you doing this to me, and I trust that you're doing this to me for a reason. And it gives space to us to question God, to wonder why he does this. But at the end of the day, knowing he is Lord of all, he gives and he takes away. He is everywhere all the time. That's what we forget. He takes. You gotta remember that he takes too, and and and that's okay. Yeah. But it is what makes us resilient. And I love these conversations with Israelis specifically because you guys face this on a much grander scale, but it makes you some of the most resilient people I've ever met. And Jewish and Israeli, it just it is an honor to have these conversations with you guys. It's an honor to hear your stories. Before we go, I just wanna ask you guys one more question. Yeah. What in the theme of resiliency and tenacity and overcoming battles, What is it one takeaway from all you saw, from all you guys saw? What's a takeaway us Christians can can take from this conversations from this conversation about the Israeli people? My my answer is gonna be different than yours. So I'll let you start then. No. You I gotta think about mine. Oh, no. I mean, it it sounds cliche, but the only way I'm able to get through really difficult times is to believe that that that god just just knows. Like, again, like, there are there are so many I there are so many stories of other people in Israel that have experienced the worst of the worst. We kind it's not even a joke, honestly. Like, I can't even say that we joke about this, but, like, it's become so much more common in the last sixteen months to bury your child than it is to bury your parent. And I've experienced that twice in my family. Mhmm. And I my aunt who was like Arik, okay, no religious ties, like, just supercultural, lost her son, and she swears to me that the only thing that gets her out of bed every day is God. She's and you're talking to somebody who, like, would laugh when I told her, like, hey. I'm gonna go, like, pray or do something. She would laugh at me. And and that's okay. Right? Unfortunately, like, she had to go through something really rough to have her eyes opened. Mhmm. But she does she does miraculous things now. She's she actually became a doula. She said that the only way that she feels her son is by helping other women bring life into the world. That's beautiful. And so and, hopefully, she's gonna be mine one day. But it it the tenacity, really, you you don't know how much strength you have both mentally, both emotionally until you're like, you know, like, you surrender to almost you surrender to the pain. Yeah. If you fight it, the like, there are so many days where I've experienced so much pain and I've experienced so much just like why why why. Like, I don't understand. And then I'm like, Hila, like, you I I was taught my dad taught me, like, you sometimes you don't deserve to know why. Mhmm. That's good. Like, there is something above you. There is something so much greater than you. There is something so much stronger than you. He knows why. Yeah. That's beautiful. So don't don't question it's like don't question your superior. Right? Yeah. Like, don't don't question why things happen the way that they happen. Just believe that they happen for some sort of reason. The world keeps going. The world keeps like, there are things that, like, okay. If if x didn't happen, y wouldn't happen. Or Mhmm. You don't That's true. You don't know, like, what the catalyst that creates something so much greater, like, even for the generations before us. Like, the struggles that we go through today, you never know how it could affect your children, your grandchildren. Listen. I don't know I don't know what you know? October 7 and and the way that I see it now, like, looking back sixteen months, like, to me, the only thing that would make sense is that this whole thing will hopefully, god willing, god willing, god willing, make a beautiful, peaceful, and prosperous Middle East, something that we've never seen, something that our ancestors have never seen. There's never been peace in that region. Like, maybe maybe something so catastrophic had to happen. To save many more lives. Yeah. To to change the world. Like, I don't I don't want my sons to have to have to join the military. Yeah. I don't want my sons to have to experience what we experience, but they might. Yeah. You just never know. I hope that not only did we experience and have to go through this, but, like, I hope that we as a people also, like, learned how to fix it, how to change it. And let's we pray for the peace of Jerusalem every day. Amen. Amen to that. You are. For me, I think October 7 also from a resilience in the way I look at things standpoint is, you know, we're all the time, and it's very human. Why don't I have this? My life could be better this way. You know? Why, you know, do I am I not making more money? Why am I this? Why am I that? Why don't I have why don't I look a certain way? And you're always trying, you know, you always want more. And and sometimes you're not appreciative. Okay? Or for instance, you're sick or you have you're not appreciative of the things that that you have. Yeah. And I think that October 7 for me from that standpoint, you know, I look at my life and, you know, I look back probably sometimes I'd be like, you know, man, I wish this was like this and I wish this was like that. And then I, you know, I see, you know, there's people that are now hostages Mhmm. In Gaza, people that were having, you know, you know, their life was normal. We know we know someone that's coming back on Saturday. Yeah. God willing. God willing. God willing. That's amazing. So and then and he's been five hundred days there, you know, you got to put things into into perspective. And I think we got, you know, hit in the mouth hard. Yeah. And got, you know, dropped to the ground. And it's it's funny because it's, you know, Rocky says that, you know, Rocky Balboa. Yes. You know, it's not how hard, you know, you fall down. It's, you know, how how you get back up. Yeah. And I'm a true, you know, a true believer in that. But at the end of the day, you know, okay. Things are bad, and you can be bummed about the bad. That that's fine, and that's human. But But you gotta, you know, pick yourselves up by the bootstraps and, you know, and and fight it every day. Yeah. And and fight it every day and and make your life better. I love that. I've told you guys before. I went to Israel back in 02/2019. We went back again, I think, in 2022. I brought my husband and my baby with me. But in 02/2019, I went to that southern border, to Ashkelon, which is close to the border. Right? My family lives there. Five kilometers from the north from Gaza border. Yeah. We saw the the wall. Yep. And what stuck out to me the most was how much that little town looked like Miami to me. It reminded me of Miami. It was a normal little suburb, and I forgot that I was in The Middle East. I just it hit me that I was in a normal town with normal everyday people, yet they face some serious, serious stuff. And what it showed me was we are all capable of overcoming these crazy, crazy battles. Yeah. You don't know what you're capable of until you're Until you have faith. Until you're facing it. And that this topic of Israel and Hamas, it is even though it may seem very overwhelming and intimidating, it's really just a situation with normal everyday people that are having to fight for our country. And I I hope that this encouraged the listener today. I hope it encouraged you today to see that these are I know it's bad, but you think of Middle East. You think of, like, Arabs. You think of Dubai. And it's not. It's very different. It's Yeah. It's not different. It's actually people just like us. And they overcome it, so you can overcome it too. And in some strange way, it makes us stronger. It makes us more resilient. It makes us more tenacious, which makes us more hopeful for the future. And I just thank you guys so much for sharing your stories. Thank you for to us. I know that it's very near to your heart, and it is very emotional, but I really thank you for opening up to us and sharing these stories with us. And, yeah, this was a wonderful podcast. I really appreciate you guys. Thank you for having us. You guys for having us. And thank you for all the support that you guys have given us, and it doesn't go That makes us stronger. Yeah. You know something? You have no idea how strong it is. I'm so glad. Yeah. Well, we do. We love you guys. We are in love with the people of Israel. I'm in love with the people of Israel. I don't know what it is, but I love that place. Well, I hope that this blessed you. I hope that you took something away from this and that this encouraged you. Go ahead and follow us. Subscribe. Follow us on our social. Subscribe to our YouTube page. Subscribe to our podcast. And this was The Family Business with the Alessis. We hope you enjoyed today. 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