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The Family Business with The Alessis
Learn how to build a stronger, happier family from a pastor's family saying things they can't say on Sundays. Hosted by Steve and Mary Alessi, you’ll hear powerful conversations with their family, who all work in the same church, that will show you the keys to a great marriage, healthy families, and a multi-generational legacy. Now with over 50,000 downloads, we invite you to join the Podience and discover why family is everybody’s business!
The Family Business with The Alessis
Win-Win Marriage! How to Get On the Same Page with Your Spouse | S7 E31
Struggling with miscommunication in your marriage? Wishing that you could work more closely with your spouse and create harmony in your home?
In this honest and insightful episode, Chris and Richelle Alessi dive into building a stronger, more aligned relationship by focusing on teamwork and communication. By embracing the concept of being a team, they discuss the power of meeting on the "same page" rather than forcing the other to align with their view.
Through entertaining anecdotes and real-life examples, Chris and Richelle highlight the significance of intentional conversations and creating a 'game plan' for everyday life. You'll get heartfelt advice about believing the best about your spouse, maintaining team dynamics, and nurturing your marriage as a true gift from God. Unlock the winning strategy for your marriage with these invaluable insights!
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My Morning Devotional
So I have learned at this point Mhmm. To dive on the grenade quick. Yeah. Just to say you're sorry really fast. Point number one of the podcast, men say sorry fast. So I dove in. I said sorry, but I didn't even really know what I was saying sorry for. Alright. Hello, and welcome to another episode of the family business with the Alessis. And today, you're stuck with what some people have been calling the junior Alessis. Yes. Chris and Rochelle. That's us. How you doing? I'm good. How are you? I'm great. We were just talking about before this. So I love when we act like we're just seeing each other for the first time. I know. How you doing, wife? I drove to work with. We just wanna take a quick moment before we dive into our topic today, which is gonna be fun. We have an interesting story for you that I'm actually gonna even hear her side of the story for the first time. That's true. Because I technically haven't even heard it. But before we dive into that, I just wanna go ahead and thank everybody on behalf of our family business. We, right now, have over 4,000 subscribers on YouTube. So we wanna thank you for being a part of what my dad loves to call our podience. So thank you for that. And, hey, if you wanna join the family, do even more, why don't you sign up for some text updates as we're doing some fun things with polling and just involving our audience more and more in our show? You can sign up for those updates by texting family to(302) 524-0800. Family, again, to (302) 524-0800. Now we're getting into some fun stuff today. Yes. And this is really your idea. You really wanted to talk about this, so I'm a little nervous. But we're gonna be talking about communication and marriage and, a new buzzword in our home, alignment. Yeah. Yeah. So we wanna start by telling you a story, something that just recently happened. I preached and and used this in a sermon recently, but then we realized, hey. You know what? We haven't heard Rochelle's side of the story. That's true. So here's the question. Do you wanna go first, or should I go first? I think you should go first. And why do you think that? Because you're better at storytelling. And, usually, I hear you tell the story, and I'm like, well, you forgot this. Okay. And so then I'll go and fill in the rest. Okay. Well, so you're seeing marriage communication and alignment in real time. Well, so we signed up our son for some soccer. Yes. It was like a practice. So for the first three months of the year, every Saturday, we were going to a park, and Marina was just running around, and it wasn't really soccer even. It was like, here's a cone. Here's how you pick it up with your foot. Here's a little, like, turtle shell. Here's how to stand on top of it. It was a great time. So we were going for his last one, and Rochelle's, sister, my sister-in-law, wanted to come with us. So Rochelle's pushing Marino in the stroller, and I just kinda fall behind. And Rochelle's talking, and she's saying something, and we're intently listening to what she's saying. But my wife loves to take long pauses in the middle of telling me things. So we'll be talking, and all of a sudden, she'll just I mean, am I right? You'll do this. You'll Yeah. You'll you'll bring the the plane down, but you're not done. You're just taking a quick break. And then going back. And you're going back into something. So that's why most of the time when we're talking, at some point, you will tell me I'm not done. There you go. That's what happened all the time. Yes. And she's great. You've been you've been really good at it lately. You don't get mad at me for it. Because in my family, if you pause, you die conversationally. If you with all of us, which is kinda funny. That's how you grew up too. Yeah. But you were just so comfortable. Up. I'm about to say I gave up. I'm like, it does not I'm just not gonna say anything. I'm gonna just say it to myself and not family talks faster than mine. Yes. Way faster. It was a lot more people, though. Yeah. So it was So you kinda had to. Yeah. Well, so all that goes to say, she pauses, and I think she's done. So I go, oh, there's a text I should have answered a few hours ago. So I pull it up. It was actually Andrew, our facilities guy. So I'm texting Andrew, and I just completely zoned out. And I'm I'm I'm texting Andrew. And when I'm done, I come up, and I hear Rochelle still talking. Around this time, there are women coming this way. So I'm hearing women talking. And as I'm kinda waking up from zoning out, I under the sound of what I thought was, like, under my breath, I said to Angie, oh, is she still talking? But you heard something entirely different, didn't you? I did. What did you hear? I heard, oh, is she still talking? And I turned. It was like I could I that's the only thing I heard. And everything else, I paused. But you weren't even talking. No. I wasn't. It was somebody else. It was somebody else. So then why didn't it hurt you so much? No. You know, I think you know what? It might have been. Maybe I was still talking in my head. And so because we were walking and I'm walking way faster, and in my head, I'm like, we're still communicating. But even if I wasn't talking, because you said that, I'm like, how dare you say that turn around. To my sister. You turn around on a dime. Look through me. Don't even look at me. You look through me. Yes. And I'm just like, what did I do? But the funny thing is what you just said and the way you just told that brings up a whole different communication point we should come back to Yes. Which is that you will talk to me, but in your head, and then bring me into the conversation, like, 80% of the way into the combo. When I've processed. Yes. Which we'll talk about later. Yeah. But so so I have learned at this point Mhmm. To dive on the grenade quick. Yeah. Just to say you're sorry really fast. Point number one of the podcast, men say sorry fast. So I dove in. I said sorry, but I didn't even really know what I was saying sorry for. Because in my mind, I'm thinking, I totally just blocked out my wife as she was trying to talk to me. How rude am I? Meanwhile, you're thinking, he totally just was rude to me. Yes. So even in even in my greatest of intentions, I somehow was rude, and I didn't even mean it. But, you know, it was funny because at that moment, I I'm like, I turned. I'm like, what did you just say? Like my parents would've. And I'm thinking like, down deep, I knew, like, you had never done that to me. But you know, there's always first still in our marriage. And I'm like, is this like his first time being annoyed at me talking when I barely talk? But you weren't. You really just were somewhere else. I and I wasn't even looking at you guys because I was walking in front and I tend to walk a little too fast. And so you guys were way behind. I'm going in the front. So it was a total miscommunication. We were in our own little separate worlds. We're also trying to wrap our minds around, okay, it's gonna be a run after Marino forty five minutes No, Marino. For forty five minutes in the next couple minutes because we get to soccer, and he'll do the activities for one or two minutes, and then he just takes off running to the field. And it's funny to him. He's, like, chased me, and it's hilarious. So we are all in that moment just trying to adjust to what we're gonna do. To survive. And I loved it because I just I realized I know this is not what you meant. That's not who you are. And then we got over quick, but it was so funny because we get home. Three hours later, we finished, we went to eat, we ran some errands and we get home and you're still feeling so bad about it. So terrible. You're like, I am so sorry. That's not what it meant. I'm like, Chris, it's fine. I already forgot about it. And I was completely moved on, but you were still there. But it was so it was a fun, fun experience. It wasn't so fun at the moment, but to see how quickly we can misunderstand each other because we were not we were not even looking at each other. We were walking fewer in the back, I was in the front. We were still having our own thoughts over our own things. Yeah. And with all of that, there was a small moment of miscommunication that could have really caused something big, but, thankfully, it didn't. Yeah. They well, because I think part of that is because, you know, we have learned to communicate. Yeah. We've learned not necessarily how the other person thinks, because I still don't think I know how you think. But through our premarital class here at the church and other things, like, we have learned that we do not think the same and not because we're different people, because we're different genders. Like, we actually think differently. So that's helped because I immediately can think, okay. What I just said is probably not what she heard, or what I meant is not what she you heard. But it kinda brings up the the great point, which is, you know, not just to talk about communication in marriage, but alignment in marriage. Yeah. So, about a year and a half ago, I started, I was getting coached. It's kind of like professional coaching, how to take things in the office up a notch, how to get better at how I was handling things on my plate. And the coach that we picked, his curriculum, which I actually now coach in with him, is phenomenal. But, you know, it really focuses on improving the person because the person will improve the profession. Yeah. And one of the things is I was going through that training, again, on my own was the subject of alignment. And it was so hard because I was getting certain information, and you weren't getting it at the time. So, like, even when we went on, and we talked about excuses, which I think I think my dad's talked about on the podcast before. If not, he will soon. But one of the things he would say is, okay. So now we just eradicated excuses. Be very careful that you don't hold your spouse to this because you got to have this experience. You got to learn this, and they didn't. And that's just such a great point for marriage. It's like, yes. We're one, but we're still two different people. Yeah. We had different days. We saw through different eyes. And you and I drive to work together every day. Yep. Our offices are basically next to each other. Our kid is here all day. It was really maybe four hours a week that we're not together. And yet even still, little moments because we experience things differently Yeah. Can create a a lack of alignment in our marriage, and that over time can create real big issues. Yeah. And I love that. And we recently we went on our first we were celebrating four years back in February, and we took that time to, of course, have dinner and, you know, see how amazing the last four years have been. But we made it intentional to actually have an alignment conversation because now that I'm going through that as well Now the coaching is actually we brought it to the whole team. Yeah. And we reached that that point, and I was so convicted about being in alignment with you because it's if we're not in con consistent communication, and it doesn't have to be that we sit down and talk three hours a day about everything perfectly, but it's about us being intentional even if it if it is a couple of minutes during the day or planning together, how important that was because we saw how quickly you can have two separate things and view things differently. Not even because you're doing anything wrong, it's just life. Like, we're experiencing things, and I think every point of marriage, you're going to experience different things. And for us, we were we it was just us two, and then Marino came. And then the last almost two years have been really about how we're raising him, and he's taken a lot of that attention in our family. And we're first time parents, so we are figuring all that out. And then you add work and everything that we're doing, And we realized that we haven't, like, had a lot of intentional conversations. And before that, what helped us was our connect group because you and I did go through a connect group. And that connect group every single week would make would force us to communicate. Our marriage was number one, front of our mind every week. Every week. And then Marino came and it was like, oh, it's not anymore. Because he is, like, number one. But that alignment conversation really was it made us wanna talk to each other more. And we realized some of the areas where over time, you had a picture of something, I had a picture of something else. And it wasn't a huge deal, but over time, if we let that grow, it could have become a huge deal. Oh, yeah. And we actually saw the value of that at our three year anniversary. Yeah. We went on a big trip. Mhmm. And we have some great information here in the church about how to have family meetings and how to just sit and talk. And so we were coming at, like, a one year like, the year sorry. The the once a year family meeting. Yeah. And I think it just kinda prompted us to ask a particular question about, like, what's something I'm not seeing? And you were like, you know, Chris, at the time, you were saying, sometimes you feel distant, and you're on your phone. And that was so out of left field for me. Not that I was mad. Like, I would have never thought that that was an issue. If anything, I thought I was doing great. Yeah. But I found out that the other person who lives with me, who actually looks at me more than I look at myself, who is seeing what I'm doing and living with the results more than even I am, It's like, wow. You you actually had a different take on that. And it was really great to get your take. And, you know, I I guess what we should say is the first point about alignment, I was thinking about it while you were talking, is, like, it is recognizing that we are a team. Yeah. So we have to use team language. You said something about, like, I've gotta be in alignment with you. And and, yeah, we know that in in in the bible that the man is the head of the household and and Christ is the head of the man. We know that. But the reality is is that there is no hierarchy laid out biblically. You know, we're told that while a wife has to submit, a man has to lay his life down. So it's almost kind of like, hey. You guys gotta meet in the middle. It's like, hey. You guys are a team. And so that's what team language is not saying get on the page same page as me. It's have a desire for the two of you to meet on the same page. Yeah. So maybe for some cases, that means me coming over 60% and you coming 40. Sometimes it might mean the opposite. Sometimes, because of the way things go, it's more like eighty twenty. Or it's like, hey. You gotta come 80% of the way over here because I may not be perfect, but I'm a little bit closer in this area and vice versa. We do that with each other's families. When it comes to your family, you lead the way. And even though, especially in some instances, I may have a good sense of what we should do here. It is your family. So you know the ins and outs. You know the context. I'm gonna follow you. Same thing goes here. Yeah. So it's a great example of moments where we have to in order to be a team and be in alignment, we have to meet on the same page. You're not getting to my page. I'm not getting to yours. We're getting to the same page. And, you know, even as we're talking about it, I'm thinking like, I heard one of our one of our friends the other day say, you know, for us, divorce isn't an option. That's a great point. But we also shouldn't be living with the worst case scenario is not gonna happen to me. I think we might wanna add another layer of language to that where we say, no. My wife and I are a team. Yeah. Because you wouldn't break apart the team. Whatever. But it does communicate, like, when we're we'll be in the middle of a fight, and it'll be like, hold on. We are a team. Yeah. And it is so crazy how that just can diffuse so much anger. It can it can create such a safety in the home because, yeah, teams have to do the work to be aligned. But even when they're misaligned, teammates want to get into alignment. They wanna be unified. They wanna be on the same page. So that's that's a really important thing. Like, sometimes you you look at certain couples, and you're like, man, do they forget that they're a team? We're looking at Marino. Hey. We are a team. Yeah. And this team keeps this kid alive, keeps him healthy. Yeah. And in the future, when he's a little bit older, he will not be able to break this team apart. He will not be able to, you know, use it against. We are a team. And in order to be a good one, we have to be aligned. Yeah. And I love that you bring the team part into this because what we really wanna do is win. Exactly. We wanna win in life. We wanna win our marriage. We want to win with our kids. And we're not going to win if we're not a team, if we're not aligned, if we're not constantly saying, hey, where are we not aligning? And it's funny because a couple of just to be real on this podcast, right? A couple of weeks ago, we were at the zoo because we got the that little pass and we take Marino, it's a great walk. And I was processing something with you, and you mentioned, you know, I keep hearing you just say, I, I, I. And you said and at the time, I was like, well, yeah, because I'm gonna be the one doing these things, and so I don't mean it in a bad way. It's just like I I'm gonna have to do this. And you were like, well well, listen. I know that you might have to do some of those things like yourself, but we're still a team. And it had to do with Marino, and you were saying, it's still us, it's gonna be something that we do together. I want to help. And in my head, I was so focused on just Marino's schedule and things that I took it on me. And I'm like, well, this is my responsibility in the home anyways, so it's gonna be me. Which comes from a by the way, it's a good example of a big pause, Which comes from a place I'm gonna throw it back to you. Yeah. It fully comes from the place of wanting to take the responsibility seriously. Yeah. You're not trying to x me out of anything. No. You wanna take care of it sir and you know, hey. If this falls on me, I wanna do it right. But even in that, we were communication wasn't right. And it matters so much how we communicate. Because at that moment, I wasn't trying to do this, but I was truly communicated in my head. You're not doing anything I am. And this is what I'm gonna have to do, you're not gonna have to do it. That's not what I was that's not what I felt at all, but my language in the way that I was saying things was communicating that. And even in marriage, it's so hard to admit it because we wanna say, well, it's just it's just the way that I communicate. But that can be an excuse. Yeah. Because if that's just the way you communicate, then we're not gonna win because then we're gonna forever misunderstand each other. And as much as I that's not what I meant, I had to say, okay. If that's what he's hearing, then there's something I'm not communicating. And I'm gonna have to check my communication skill and my communication style, And it's not about how I communicate, but it's about how you're listening to something. Because if you did that to me, I would be like, well, Chris, that's not how I communicate. And I would appreciate if you try to communicate in a way that I could understand. But it's gonna take time and years of learning that and seasons will change, but it's a check about it's not just about how I say or my personality, but how about how my spouse is receiving things? And how about you try to, like you're saying, meet them more. If you know their love language, if you know the way they hear things, then maybe even open up with, look. This I'm trying to communicate something that's hard for me. When I've told you before, I don't really know how to communicate this, but I'm in this place right now. Well, you did it on Sunday. Yeah. You looked at me and you said, I think I'm ready to talk now. Yeah. And it was like, oh, great. And it was more of of doing that, but assuming also, like, the best. Because even when you brought that up to me that day and you keep saying, well, listen. I keep hearing this. You didn't come at me by saying, well, Rochelle, you keep saying I, and you weren't defensive over it. You were more of like, look. I hear this, and I want you to know that I'm here to help. And because we both responded not with fire, we were both very trying to give each other the room, and it ended up being great. And we're we don't always approach things like that, but we try to. And we'll I guess my biggest lesson was the way that I say something matters. Yeah. And even if communication is not my skill, that's not an excuse for me not to really try to communicate well to you because the way that I say things could hurt us or it could help us win in what we're trying to accomplish. Well, that that makes me think of something great that we should always think of in marriage. In marriage, there's no individual wins. Yep. There is no way that I win without you winning. So if I'm ever going to win, it's going to be because you won too. So we will always say, like, you know, on a team, if you win, I win. But that's not really true. What's truer is I can't win unless you are winning too. Yeah. The only win is when we both win. Yeah. So it doesn't mean we walk away from it thinking, okay. We've come to a great compromise. It actually means more like we have come together and put our good gifts together to create something that works for both Yeah. And allows us to get to the best possible outcome. And I almost feel like the best possible outcome is forgetting these conversations even happen because we've learned to communicate through them. Yeah. You know, that really could have been a big blow up for us. Like because it was speaking to a deep identity point, who you were as a mom, who I am as a dad. You know, I had to work through being a little like, is she trying to x me out of helping with Marino? Because, like, I get that there are some cultures and people that wanna be fully like, the mom takes care of the kid, but that is not my culture. That's not where I came from. That mom my dad was probably more involved in my life than my mom was, especially during certain seasons. And I I had to work through okay. My wife is not trying to do that. She's just trying to x me x me out. Like, she's just trying to take her side of things very seriously. So being able to say, hold on. We only win if we both win. Yeah. I don't win if I got you to say you're sorry or vice versa. Yeah. Right? Saying you're sorry is a step towards both of us winning. Yeah. Unfortunately, sometimes you can be so hurt that you feel like you won when the other person admits defeat. Mhmm. But that's not how teams win. Yeah. Teams win when it's like, alright. I messed up. Now let's get on the same page and go win. Yeah. And I think you hopefully, you know, you'll be able to say that about our life, forever. But the reality is is that we know we wanna be aligned, and we know that alignment takes intentional conversations. And so one thing that we adopted was the Sunday night family meeting. Yeah. Right? Yes. And the truth is we don't have anywhere near the free time that we sometimes assume we do. But we are really going out of our way to be intentional about getting on the same page about something as simple as what are we eating on Thursday morning. Yeah. Because we found that any decision we don't make early that we have to make in the moment creates opportunities for a lack of alignment. Yeah. Right? Yes. So, like, something as simple as what are we eating four or five days from now? Yeah. Well, that gives us three full four full workdays to get a little bit stressed or a little bit ticked at each other. And it it allows for a, I am now hungry, And you are busy and have not made the lunch yet. And now I have to come to you and say, well, what do you want? But your mind's on all the work stuff you're doing, and my mind's on, I'm hungry. And so now something as simple as we need to get lunch turns into, you take your work too seriously. I'm your husband, and you're not taking care of me. Or vice versa, my god. How how much of a baby are you? Just give me ten minutes. Let me finish my work. Go buy Chick fil A. Whatever. And then it becomes a budget issue, so now it's where he just spends a and it was so avoidable when all we had to do is get in the same room and say by the way, I'm not saying I've ever had those thoughts. I'm saying it could become it could become that Yeah. If we just always let those decisions come up in the moment. Yeah. But, you know, a team doesn't discover their game plan in the middle of the game. They go into a game with the game plan. And so for us, it's like that that family meeting has really helped us go into our week with a game plan. Yeah. And I and what I love about that game plan is that we both are very aware of the plan, and we both are very aware that it might change. That the plan that we put together might work for the first two days, and then it might not work because it changes. But because we had a plan, we're quickly to shift we quickly shift, and we know, okay, then we can do this, so we can do that. And it really avoids unnecessary arguments. Conflict. Conflict that we can eliminate, not because we don't want we're gonna forever deal with some sort of conflict. Right? But it the unnecessary part of it, we can just eliminate and put our energy towards really winning together. Yeah. And I I love that we've been doing that because I've seen the difference. Even, like, today, it was so funny. I'm not done. This is actually it just happened. We're not I'm not done with something from work. I'm almost done. And you're like, are you ready to eat? And I'm like, yes. Just give me five minutes. I'm almost done. And you're like, oh, wait. I know what we're eating. And you just went, turned the oven on, and it just put it right in. I came and we were ready to eat, but it was a team. We knew we had a plan together. And I know it's a food. I know this is food related, but we can apply this in every area of of our marriage. And it's just it's made our time when you and actually when you and I actually have an hour to sit, we actually now come now with all these things. But now with time to actually enjoy each other Yep. And talk and communicate and maybe bring more more enlightening conversations, but things that are not just fixing something or fixing miscommunication or problem, but actually us spending time together. And I think that's been a big, big change that we've done, but we've seen a really great difference in our our everyday life. Yeah. And this really comes from us being intentional about how we're handling our time, about how we're gonna handle each other, and making sure that we stay a team. And this is a lot easier said than done because when there are moments that get a little more, you know, rough, you can quickly want to go back to individuals that you're saying. But if you keep in top mind, we're a team, we're a team, that actually helps you assume the best of each other Yeah. And not the worst. And it gives you more grace for each other, and it just allows us to get through conflict in a better way. Yeah. And so I I've loved that. Yeah. And so to recap real quick, you know, we're a team. Yes. And in order to be a team, we recognize that we think differently. Yeah. No better, no worse. We're gonna think differently. I don't have to always understand. I just have to realize that we're gonna think differently. Because we're a team, though, we wanna get on the same page. And that doesn't mean you get on my page every time or I get on your page sometimes. It means we meet on the right page. Yeah. And we both come to what's right. And what's right is our family winning. Yep. I can't win if you lose. I only win when you win too. That's what makes me a winner because our team won. And so we are intentional about that before the conflict arises. We sit and we talk. We know we are making space and room for those conversations. And, you know, the last thing I think we haven't really added is, like, you should really believe the best about your spouse. Yeah. I mean, you married them, and they married you. Yeah. So it's like, why would I marry you, pledge my life to you Mhmm. And then think the worst of you? Yeah. And, you know, you even talked about, like you know, because there are still fights and stuff, but I do think it's not the big fights. They're, like, the shouting matches that can really get in the way of a marriage because that's just passion. I I do think it's the small things that just make you so frustrated at the other person. Yeah. And then you start to feel like you guys don't, you don't have chemistry. Mhmm. And, I mean, when you hear people get divorced after, like, twenty years, it's like, well, we just really you know, the truth is we were just better apart. And it's like, no. You just we're experiencing marriage not on the same page. Yeah. And if you would have just had those discussions early, we are a team, so let's design our game plan for the week. Before the game shows up, it allows us to really save a lot of time on conflict. Yeah. And it's kind of annoying, I'm sure, for people to hear, but the reality of it is is that most of our fights come from a desire to serve each other. Yeah. You really wanna serve me. I really wanna serve you. And somehow in doing that, we find ourselves fighting. Yeah. So, you wanna say anything else before we go? I would say, you know, as we're sitting talking, it's we forget how much of a gift our spouse is because you don't have to do life alone, and this all plays a part in in the team conversation. Because when you're going through hard moments, you're a team, and you get to go through that together. You're not alone. When you're hurting about something, our family's hurting, so you're not alone. And when you're waiting, you're waiting together. We talked about it yesterday, and we you and I are waiting for certain things. And as we're in the car and we're talking about, wow, we didn't realize that, I guess, we weren't waiting for certain things. You made this statement about, you know, I had to wait alone for a couple years for things. You had to wait alone, for years for a couple things. And now that we're together, I guess this is one of our first times entering a waiting season, but together. And that alone made me say we can take on the world. We can wait as long as we have to and for whatever it is because we're together and we're a team, and we know that we're gonna do this together and that is what's gonna make the waiting or the hard times not so hard Yeah. Because we're a team. And God gifted us with each other to do life together and not be alone and experience a part of who He is. And so truly, marriage and our spouses are a gift from God Amen. That we have to take care of. And taking care of that spouse means thinking the best of them. Yeah. Not the worst, serving them and trying your best yourself to change to meet their needs when they need something. Yeah. And it's about giving, not about taking. Yeah. And so I just think that marriage is a beautiful thing, and I'm thinking for you. No. Thank you, sweetie. And, and I know things will come, and we'll have to continue to grow. But the best thing is that we're we're doing it together. We're doing it together. And I said together so many times. Yeah. It works. 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