SPEAKER_02 0:00

Uh man, it is just gonna be a cooker. I mean, we're gonna be 93 today, which means warmer. Stupid hot. Uh I got no relief in sight as far as uh a thunderstorm or anything like that. I mean they they say there's this like 20% chance, but no. But then the mega I'm sorry, I can just properly do this here. Then hang on a second. Then the Mega Heat Dog actually goes into full effect, and that starts tomorrow, all the way through Friday. And when I say hot, oh hot.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

Oh yeah, it's gonna feel like 108. If you don't oh my gosh, our coworker told us yesterday he doesn't have heat in his car or uh AC in his car. Oh my gosh. Jim Free is driving. Jim doesn't? He doesn't. He said it totally pooped the bed. He's a whole.

SPEAKER_02 0:48

He can drive back to Binghamton on that. He has to be able to do that. Do it commutes like 50 minutes a day one tr one way.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Yes, he said he was thinking about taking uh he was thinking of taking a company vehicle just because it had an AC and it was so oppressive.

SPEAKER_02 1:02

Jim, you have my permission.

SPEAKER_01 1:03

Actually, on Thursday, Zach and I are going out, we're going out that way. We're gonna go see the uh Binghamton Rumble ponies. Yes, yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:10

And I'm gonna just sweat sitting there.

SPEAKER_01 1:14

That's what Zach and I said. We were like, should we should we go? Like, because it's gonna be so freaking hot.

SPEAKER_02 1:21

It's up to you. I mean, are these expensive tickets if you pass them up?

SPEAKER_01 1:25

Haven't even bought them yet.

SPEAKER_02 1:27

Oh, you might want to just reconsider and say, give me two weeks.

SPEAKER_01 1:31

Yes, turn a fan on my crotch. Oh, okay. Um, do you wanna do you wanna play a game?

SPEAKER_02 1:36

Yeah, sure.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

I would love to play a game. Name that patriotic song just in time for 4th of July. Okay. I will give you a lyric. You tell me which patriotic song it's from. This is gonna be so tough because they kind of they all bleed into the same sound. I'm sorry, guys. I I'm not trying to be disrespectful to our country.

SPEAKER_02 1:57

But no, I'll handle that with what I'm gonna play in a couple seconds. Oh, okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:00

All right, first one is From the Redwood Forest to the Gulf Stream Waters. What song is it? You gotta give me multiple choice. From the Redwood Forest to the Gulf Stream Waters. Now they're all gonna sound just like that to me.

SPEAKER_02 2:15

Everyone you sing is gonna sound exactly like that. Okay. What are my choices?

SPEAKER_01 2:20

Is that the Star Spangled Banner? No. America the Beautiful? No. Or This Land is Your Land. This Land is your land. Ding ding ding! Alright, I got that one.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

Okay. I had an old lady granny. She knew she loved John Philip Sousa.

SPEAKER_01 2:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:33

You know who that is, right?

SPEAKER_01 2:34

He did the Sousa Stars and Stripes.

SPEAKER_02 2:36

No, he's he's also a Dr. Seuss character, John Phillips Sousa. He plays the Sousa all around town and all the Suzette's following him.

SPEAKER_01 2:45

Are you being for real?

SPEAKER_02 2:46

No, not at all. I was gonna say.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Did I miss this when I was a kid?

SPEAKER_02 2:50

Actually, he was the next door neighbor with the floodlights that just aimed him at another neighbor. No, John Philip Sousa made all these classic patriotic songs.

SPEAKER_01 2:58

Okay, here's the next one. From the mountains. God, we're always in the forest or the mountains. From the mountains. We are such a twin tiers customer. Always hiking. Yeah. From the mountains to the prairies to the oceans white with foam.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

This land is your land.

SPEAKER_01 3:15

No. What? Oh. That's the one I just did. Oh, that's right. From the mountains to the prairies to the oceans white with foam. Is that your grand old flag? No. Is that the marine hymn? No. Is that God bless America? God bless America.

SPEAKER_02 3:31

God bless America. Michael Vermin when you need her. Oh bless all America. Alright, keep going. I'm doing real. Are you shocked that I'm doing as well as I'm doing?

SPEAKER_01 3:42

Yes, I am. Alright. And crown thy good with brotherhood. Oh, yes. From sea to shining sea.

SPEAKER_02 3:47

So we got in our country for the 250th birthday, brotherhood.

SPEAKER_01 3:51

I'm sorry, carry on. Crown thy hood with brotherhood. From C to shining C. Yes. Is that A, the Star Spangled Banner? Is it B, America the Beautiful? Or is it C, God bless America?

SPEAKER_02 4:04

America the Beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 4:06

Ding, ding, ding again! My God, I've gotten them all right. Alright, well, do you want a bonus? Yeah, why not? What else do I got going on today? Gave proof through the night that our flag was still.

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Oh, that's the Star Spangled Banner.

SPEAKER_01 4:18

Alright, God. Alright. You're patriotic as they come. I am.

SPEAKER_02 4:22

Even though I said a few minutes ago I could care less about that. We're celebrating the 250th. But I'm not alone. Like, I mean, it's like, okay, it's cool, kinda.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

But it just didn't seem to take off. What was cool was the orchestra on Saturday. Well, yes. That one with all those patriotic songs, those were awesome.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

That'll do it for you. Yeah, that's two hours to celebrate. That's like a kid's birthday party. Drop me off for two hours, I'll celebrate America's 250th, and then get me out, I'm done.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Wait, but I also want to eat a wiener while we're doing it.

SPEAKER_02 4:53

Absolutely. Well, in the spirit of all this, there is something else. You know, America turning 250, not a young lady.

SPEAKER_00 5:00

Breaking news happening right now with America's 250th birthday just a few days away. Experts say the country is beginning to show what can only be described as a few senior moments. Let's go live to Independence Hall right now.

SPEAKER_03 5:15

Thanks. Yeah, I'm standing here in the exact place where the declaration was signed almost 250 years ago, and America was officially born. Doctors tell us there really isn't a medical textbook for a 250-year-old country, but they say America's beginning to exhibit all the classic signs of potential cognitive decline, such as telling the exact same stories about 1776 over and over again. In fact, America is so old at this point it's been having trouble seeing restaurant menus, so Canada reportedly sent over a nice pair of readers. We're told the DMV even asked America to retake its driver's test after getting confused by a stop sign. Additionally, America also insists today's music is appalling, makes strange noises at random, refers to TikTok as the Tic Tacs, and for some reason stuffs every plastic grocery bag inside another giant plastic grocery bag. So, yeah, fortunately, experts say these senior moments aren't too serious. But if the country starts hoarding newspapers, there may be cause for concern. Still that's to be expected.

SPEAKER_00 6:11

Wow, that's old indeed.

SPEAKER_01 6:14

But also, another thing that she does when she's 250 is takes pictures by bending like bending at the waist, putting her arms out.

SPEAKER_02 6:24

With the phone sideways, horizontal as opposed to vertical. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:27

Mother's like, come on. Baby Liberty, stand up.