SPEAKER_04 0:00

Happy Fourth of July from all of us! Grilling up some hot dogs hamburgers celebrating America's birthday. We wanna hope you're ready for the long 4th of July weekend.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

It's freedom, baby. Yeah. Um you don't have no black hats, no Roman candles, or screaming memes?

SPEAKER_02 0:22

Because I love my country, I'm gonna shoot an explosive rocket. Cause explosion, blow things up, earn up for fireworks. Gotta MATs bottle rockets. You lose an eye in a bottle rocket war. You are a patriot.

SPEAKER_00 0:35

You're gonna stand there owning a fireworks stand and tell me you don't have no whisker biscuits, honky lighters, who's gonna do.

SPEAKER_04 0:42

That's fireworks greatest.

SPEAKER_03 0:46

Love old Joe Dirt. But let me play you another one. This is another classic, a viral video from years ago with a guy in a wheelchair who couldn't wheel away from the fireworks just quick enough.

SPEAKER_04 0:58

Bang up, bag up, bag up, tear. Put it reverse here!

SPEAKER_01 1:02

Bag it up, bag it up, put it reverse, the whole part of this is that we're laughing at something horrible because this guy in a wheelchair can't back out of the way. Listen, he's he's unharmed. Well, yes. Then there you go.

SPEAKER_04 1:14

Put in reverse! Oh, Lord! Lower, please! Ow, James! What the fuck are you doing, Terry?

SPEAKER_03 1:33

Oh my god. I love I love when somebody puts a Lord Jesus together. What a show!

SPEAKER_02 1:41

What a show that was, too.

SPEAKER_03 1:43

Oh my gosh. All right, now I'm gonna read you a headline, and I don't think you and Tiffany would ever be in this situation. A Florida woman claims the cocaine found in her butt was left by a partner. I hate it. I hate it when Tiffany accidentally leaves it in your butt. I mean, honey, you know what? I need to put this somewhere. Bend over. Bend over.

SPEAKER_02 2:12

Let's see if I can get right to the right spot here. And it goes like, oh, here it is. Lord Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 2:18

What the fuck were you doing?

SPEAKER_02 2:22

By the way, funny little side note. I can't believe I'm gonna tell this story, but what the hell? So we have three listeners today. Thanks for watching. But you know what? All on demand. So this is so bad. But it's really funny. So uh this was a couple weeks ago. Uh Gavin wanted his buddy uh to spend the night. And uh I'm like, yeah, yeah, no problem. You know, Lucas is a good kid. We he spends the night every once in a while, you know, and I know what I'm in for. Kids are up all night playing video games, doing whatever. You're not sleeping. They're at one point out on the trampoline. Uh and and it's Gavin, Lydia, I think Will from across the street was there. Oh my god, I love this. They're all jumping around, and I all of a sudden hear this blood-curdling scream. Not like a scream that Gavin pissed his sister off with. Okay. Like somebody's hurt. Like well, it wasn't even quite a pain. It because there's a difference too. Like, there's a pain scream and all that.

SPEAKER_03 3:20

There's a bear trying to get on a trampoline.

SPEAKER_02 3:21

This was just this weird kind of scream. So I I'm prompted at this moment because I've now heard this. And I walk out, I go, you guys alright? And I hear Gavin go so calm you are. I go, Well, I'm I'm confused. You guys alright? Gavin goes, yeah, Lucas put a finger in my ass by accident.