SPEAKER_00 0:00

I've got to take you to Scotland for this one, Allie!

SPEAKER_01 0:03

Oh, remember that show that I told you about the other day, Should I Marry a Murderer? Yes. It's based in Scotland. If anything, watch the show for the views. Would love to go to Scotland. How beautiful Scotland is is just amazing.

SPEAKER_00 0:18

And full of criminals.

SPEAKER_01 0:19

Oh yeah? Oh, now we have another one.

SPEAKER_00 0:21

Now we've got a man accused. You ever notice that you can't do a Scottish accent without like yelling it out?

SPEAKER_01 0:26

Right, you're gonna be like, I want to go to Scotland. No, I just can't do it. Oh, go to Scotland! It's like I'm stuck. I'm stuck.

SPEAKER_00 0:33

A man in Scotland is accused of assaulting someone with two live seagulls. Which is kind of funny because usually I aim for them in the parking lot of uh Walmart. And you go, Gavin, Lydia, 10 points. Yeah, that's right. Let me tell you here, the man was charged by the authorities. And the birds are okay, thank God. Really? I'm surprised. There they are, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:56

So and what did you do? Did you take them by the little tiny legs and whip them around your head? Oh and then slap?

SPEAKER_00 1:02

Do you train a seagull? Are you like, I want you to attack Alipin? Oh no, I figured that. Get your pecker out and go get her.

SPEAKER_01 1:10

Do you ever have to do this? Where you just grab the first thing that's by you. Throw a seagull? Well, no, no, no. Like, think about this. I heard a noise this morning, and I I'm like, oh my god. So I like pick up a s the the Dollar General spatula, which was not gonna save my life.

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Everything's gonna snap at a heartbeat.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Exactly. So if you're in a situation where you're in an altercation, it's the f you pick up the first thing around you. A seagull.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

I think it's more like this. I think it was more like Felix and Oscar the seagulls. Oh, okay. Yes, yes. You've been training them for a long time. And you get into it with your neighbor. You're charging, you're charging me for your 4th of July fireworks show? Let me tell you how this is gonna go. Felix! Oscar! Attack! Get on her! Get on her! Get your peckers out and go! Peckers being a beak, you know, not the penis.

SPEAKER_01 2:05

You're saying they just flew right on him. Why am I?

SPEAKER_00 2:08

Well, think about it. You ever drop a French fry in the Walmart parking lot? Oh. Oh my god! Straight up your pooper! Then go for it!

SPEAKER_01 2:16

That means you had to like throw fries at your neighbor. Really wanted to just say straight up your pooper in a Scottish accent thing.