SPEAKER_00 0:00

All right. So uh what'd you steal from uh Wendy's house?

SPEAKER_01 0:03

All it was, and I don't think it's stealing, but you can tell me it starts with all it was.

SPEAKER_00 0:08

This is where the problem begins.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

You can tell me if you think this is stealing or not. I just took two power aids or whatever they're called, and yeah, yeah. And a bare bell protein bar, which I never told her about any of those. Two things. Number one, she's one of those people that has an empty box of protein bars in her pantry.

SPEAKER_00 0:30

That's to remind you it's time to get to the store and refill it.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

I hate that. But you forget. You know what? I don't live with her, so it doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

Sure.

SPEAKER_01 0:37

But so I took from the other box and then I took the power eights. But I figured it was kind of like payment for me going to check in on her cat.

SPEAKER_00 0:46

I believe that she would offer you a refreshment if you were to arrive and just visit.

SPEAKER_01 0:51

Right.

SPEAKER_00 0:51

Now, should I maybe not a power bar, but yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Should I admit to her that I took these things, or do I just leave it as is? Because we barely talked yesterday.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Uh I I don't know. I that that looks so minor. Now, if you were like, well, you know, I I I saw she had a uh a crock pot and I knew that I was needing a second one for a period of time. I mean, that might be a little something to be like, I borrowed your crock pot.

SPEAKER_01 1:13

You know, I put a power bar and two. Two power is that okay.

SPEAKER_00 1:17

That's pretty minor.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Because because I did talk to her over text and she said, Hey, you know, I came she came home a day early. Thank you so much for watching Kiki, la la la. And then yesterday we barely, it was like, hey, how's it going? Did you drink my Coke Zero? No, I didn't.

SPEAKER_00 1:33

At least you got her out of the out of the way with that.

SPEAKER_01 1:36

Yes, yes. But that's that's where it lies.

SPEAKER_00 1:39

Okay. Uh you you're fine. I think if it was something larger, like if you were like, hey, she had a new unopened package of toilet paper, uh, and then you were and you were like, I'm an and I was out at home. Well, then she gets home for the first sitting back in the house and she's like, Where's my teepee?

SPEAKER_01 1:55

Oh yeah, that would suck.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

That's an inconvenience. That's a big the crock pot, you know, someone's garden hose would be weird. But whatever.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Ask me, did I get paid for this job?

SPEAKER_00 2:05

No, no, but that but but sometimes you do nice things for people.

SPEAKER_01 2:08

God, who what? What?

SPEAKER_00 2:11

I don't know who I am, but either way. Um well like come on, Scott. Okay, the difference is here's the the one difference. Uh not it's a cat. Well, that too. Uh huh. I scooped poop every day. That's a regular animal, regular feline right there. Um, here's the other thing, too. Is uh so really you're making sure the cat's not laid out hard as a carp in the living room. Fed it every day. Yeah, that's what you're trying to. So here's the thing there's a difference in people. Uh you know this. Now, I know I'm past the point of asking you to be able to come over and dog sit. Zach, on the other hand, will be filling in in late September, so screw off.

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Um but um Zach is obsessed with Scott's dogs.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

He loves the dogs. Don't you dare if I had to downsize, if I really did have to, because it's tough now because you know, you're there's too many. Yeah, that too. You're attached and they're all their personalities. But you know, if I had to, if something set happened where we were like, okay, we have to.

SPEAKER_01 3:07

Um He would be giving the dog pedicures.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Like that's how much. That's the person that we would say, you're the one.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

He would pamper these pugs so much. So at any rate. And that's why I have to keep saying, no. So and not getting a pug.

SPEAKER_00 3:20

At any rate, hey, Zach, staying in your own apartment with your own pug or moving in with Allie, what sounds better?

SPEAKER_01 3:26

Oh, he's gonna pick the pug. I know. I win.

SPEAKER_00 3:29

Son of a bitch. I keep winning. Winning! Um, so that being said, uh that uh since when you won't be coming over, but Zach will. But you know this from when you've sat for me before. I always tell you anything you want, whatever it is, right, minus the garden hose and the crock pot. But but but any food, you know, and and usually we're pretty stocked. I mean, I'm the house. You guys are feeding an army. I think. I mean, literally, if all of a sudden 15 people showed up at the house today, I'm prepared to make something. Which is insane. I know that's not my fridge at all. But uh but I'm ready to go. But you know that I'm the one that will always do that. But then you get the people that don't say anything. So you have to kind of And she didn't. You kind of wonder. You're like, you know, because if it were me, I would have by nature, this is the way I was raised. Um, it's amazing how everything went off the rails at some point. I know. This is how I was.

SPEAKER_01 4:21

Betty did something right somewhere.

SPEAKER_00 4:23

You come to someone's house. First, you better take the shoes off, she'll kill you. That's not my rule. But uh mine neither. The the thing is, is she would within a few minutes go, can I get you something to drink? Well, the same that is the birthing process too. Would you like something? This is the same. I'm gonna give you one more, and this one's gonna open it up for anybody. How do people live in a house where paper towels are not easily accessible?

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Oh, uh yes.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

This makes me crazy. Uh, I have I have finally figured out where they are at Tiffany's mom's house. But I'm one of these people, you either know exactly where all the towels are, you know where the paper towels hand towels, not like you're gonna go shower if you're coming for a cookout. But the garden hose is over there.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Just did a quick little fresh it up.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

Um, so you know, but you I always have it where it's there. How do people function where you go to a house, there's either no napkins or there's no paper towels? Are you the cleanest eaters on the planet? I know this transitions a bit, but this drives me nuts. I am Lydia takes after me. She cannot keep food in her body, it's all over her body.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Me too. I have this drives me crazy. I have stains over everything. I'm a very quick eater. And yes, when you're quick, it's like it's basically like flies everywhere. Right, it's a cartoon. It's like please answer this.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

Are you the paper towel, easily accessible house or napkins? I remember my mom used to have a thing of napkins. Remember the old napkin holders in the uh late 80s, early 90s?

SPEAKER_01 5:48

Where it kind of was weighted at the time.

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Yes, it was wood. We all had one. Yes. Or are you one of these houses where it's like it doesn't even cross your mind? And if it doesn't cross your mind, how do you function? What kind of human are you?

SPEAKER_01 6:00

I I will say that our paper towels are a little hidden. It's not, but I would like to tell you where they are.

SPEAKER_00 6:06

They're just Because sometimes you're eating corn on the cob and you gotta do it over the sink if you're like me, because it's a mess. Yeah. And I'm like reaching and I'm like, where would it normally be? Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

I hate this. I do not have my napkins in a container on the counter. But that's because I have an anti-count, I don't like things on the counter.

SPEAKER_00 6:22

Well, I I okay, the napkins, I know that that might unless you have a table set up. I think my aunt was the last person I remember that had that set up where the salt and pepper shaker and napkins and all that. You just don't see that anymore, you know? But come on, a roll of paper towels with a nice holder.

SPEAKER_01 6:37

Yeah, if you're coming over by the if you're coming over, of course I'm gonna have all that set out for you.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

I think you would because I I just I I it blows my mind that people don't think of it like that. Like, are you really that clean of an eater?

SPEAKER_01 6:50

I I No, I'm not.

SPEAKER_00 6:52

Drives me a little crazy.