SPEAKER_02 0:00

Okay, I gotta read two text really quick here. I made the mistake of opening this door. This is 100% on me. I was telling you the story about how this Taco Bell employee elsewhere, not around here, 15 minutes before closing. Now I can understand the employees' frustration. I have worked in fast food when I was young and plan to go back to it after they fire me from here. Burger King has microphones. I'm gonna be doing the show right there. You want onion rings with that? Okay, fine. I'll whip out War of the Roses for you.

SPEAKER_00 0:27

This whole thing about going somewhere right where they close isn't even just for fast food. Fast food, it really will pee you off. In retail, too. You never want to be the person that walks in two minutes before they close. I just gotta try on this sweater.

SPEAKER_02 0:42

No, you gotta be very apologetic. You gotta be like, I forgot it's my wife's birthday, I need to get this right now. Then you have sympathy, and someone will actually help you. They'll become like your personal shopper with you and be like, well, what about this? What about this? Because they want to go home too.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

Here's where it's worse with food. There's so much prep to close. Oh god, with retail, I mean, okay, you fluff a couple shirts, you count a drawer. I can do I can count a drawer in under two.

SPEAKER_02 1:07

So the really, I'm gonna read these texts here because they bring it all to a conclusion. But in reality, it's Taco Bell's fault for not hanging a sign up that says we stop taking orders at 11 30 because we close at midnight.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

Well, I don't think that they really can hang that sign, but it's an unspoken rule. It's common cur it's common courtesy.

SPEAKER_02 1:28

Would you apologize? Okay, let me ask you this. Now, this is not Allie going out having herself a rockin' wine tour, and all of a sudden you're like, it's one o'clock in the morning. I need the fourth meal. Uh it's it's not I know I know, but it's not one of those. It's not the old days.

SPEAKER_00 1:44

Yeah, it's not the 27-year-old alley.

SPEAKER_02 1:46

Right. Now, this is the alley you're driving back from Cleveland be and you had a flat tire, and now just you know, uh you know, all these things happened where now you know that the Taco Bell and Painted Post is about to close, but you're like, I'm famished, I'm starving. Would you actually at the drive-thru go, I am so sorry, I know you're getting ready to close. Can I still put in an order?

SPEAKER_00 2:13

Yeah, I probably would too.

SPEAKER_02 2:14

Because I feel that would save you from the employee going, Hey, you like floor seasoning?

SPEAKER_00 2:20

Well, one of the things that I did when I was working in food, and if a situation like this came up, all of a sudden we were out of that thing. Let's say, for instance, we had somebody come in, they wanted a margarita pizza. Oh, sorry. Oh, we're out of fresh tomatoes and basil. Crazy. So it goes like this.

unknown 2:36

Shht.

SPEAKER_01 2:37

Uh, thank you for stomping a taco bow. Can I take your order even though I don't want to?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Yes. Um, I would like a cheesy Gordita crunch.

SPEAKER_01 2:46

Uh, I'm sorry, I'm out of cheese.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

Okay, how about a um refried beans? Uh, don't have any of those two. Exactly. Next.

SPEAKER_01 2:56

Uh, how about uh Can I give you a piece of lettuce with cyclospora on it?

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Can I at least get the cinnamon churros?

SPEAKER_02 3:02

No, I'm out of those two, ma'am. Sorry. See? All right, don't do it. I would at least apologize to the person because I think it could happen. This is good etiquette for you all to learn. Uh-huh. If you're getting there at closing time, just, you know, or near it, be nice enough to say, I'm sorry. Can I still order?

SPEAKER_00 3:17

And maybe your parents didn't teach you this, so let Scott and Allie check.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

Well, let's yes, at least let me give you some of my etiquette. Whoa, that was a statement. Either way, yeah, right. Then I took a follow his Then I took down the path, I said, okay, what's worse? Floor seasoning or someone spitting in your food.

SPEAKER_00 3:33

Of course I said the worst thing is spitting.

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Yeah, because Allie described it in such a way that the mental image became so nasty that it was like on and 56 uh 10 goes, girl, you nasty. Well, it's like extra sauce that you didn't want. Stop. And then I will read this one from uh 5610 as well. They said, My dad once found a band-aid in a sub from Sunway, uh Subway, uh, and uh no, he didn't eat it. Would you eat it, Allie?

SPEAKER_00 4:01

That's what they asked. Band-aid is too far. Well, hold on. That's a bodily function or bodily fluid function. That's a bodily fluid that could ease. See, no spitting, no band-aids, nothing there's where there's bodily fluids. So what's worse?

SPEAKER_02 4:16

Now we're just playing gross and then gross. I know. Finding a band-aid or no, no, this is all band-aid. So gross. I've almost got the Willie's talking telling you this. What would be worse? Finding the band-aid in the layers of meat of an Italian sub or taking a bite and it's a tuna sub and it's hanging off your bottom water. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:42

The worst is the taking of the bite. If I find it, because I'm trying to add more mustard to my my. No, this thing gets added to you. Wait, wait. So the first one the first one's getting handed to me and I can see the band-aid?

SPEAKER_02 4:56

No, no, you can't. So here's your foot long sub. You're not allowed to disassemble it. You've already had everything on it. You wanted to put it on it. Why would you take it apart? Who takes apart a sub after you tell them to put everything on it you want on it? I don't know. Knock that off. Follow this. Here's your foot long, okay? Because you were gonna split it with me because I said, Well, get the foot long. I'll eat the other half. So here's the Italian sub. Right between the Capacola and the hard salami. You can't see it. It's in there. Or texture-wise, would it be worse if it was in a we are losing listeners with this conversation?

SPEAKER_00 5:27

I'm losing track of what you're asking.

SPEAKER_02 5:28

Or if it's if the band-aid was hidden inside the tuna. You know, tuna has a texture. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:34

So I'm still biting the band-aid either way.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

Yes, and it's going to hang off your bottom lip. Like it didn't quite get all the way in. Would you rather have it in a tuna sub or between the layers of meat of the Italian sub?

SPEAKER_00 5:44

That's the same thing. No, it's not.

SPEAKER_02 5:46

The texture of tuna is different from Capacola.

SPEAKER_00 5:49

The texture of band-aid's the same texture as band-aid. I mean, but that's the answer.

SPEAKER_02 5:56

Yeah, you're right.