SPEAKER_01 0:00

I always say the first hour of the show is my favorite, I think.

SPEAKER_00 0:04

It's a pretty wild hour of the week.

unknown 0:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 0:06

It's always the what did we get into hour.

SPEAKER_00 0:10

And you never know. There's always a plan. Believe me, I could I could read you the plan right now. Haven't hit a thing on it yet.

SPEAKER_01 0:16

No, we have not. Especially after you guys all found out that I did the backwoods baptism. With a garden hose. Okay, one other thing about the garden hose, I have to tell you.

SPEAKER_00 0:25

Oh god.

SPEAKER_01 0:25

You kept it, you put it on full power spray until we blew this in off of it? It was. It was on jet. And I I I So you know, what do you do when you first pick up a garden hose? Well, it's got one of those heads on it.

SPEAKER_00 0:36

You just Oh, yeah, you give it a all of a sudden.

SPEAKER_01 0:40

I said, Hey, you probably don't want that blasted over your head. Why don't we switch it to, I don't know, mist, shower. I end up changing it to shower. Oh, that's nice. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And it was a perfect, perfect day for it, too. Back to the bet the um Backwoods Baptism. Backwoods baptism.

SPEAKER_00 0:59

Sweet Lord.

SPEAKER_01 0:59

We have this from a guest. You guys really need to register because I want to give you all the credit for this one.

SPEAKER_00 1:04

And you guys have just won the text game already, and it's not even seven.

SPEAKER_01 1:08

Get back on that app and make sure you register, or you might have to log back in. They said redneck baptism, no water. We use ChewSpit. That's gross. This one, I'm willing, 1132. The pastor that baptized my son was cheating on his wife. So I feel he needs to do it again. Yeah. If you're free, Allie, can you make it over Monday night?

SPEAKER_00 1:32

Hook up the card notes. Yeah. Would a sprinkler work? We could actually have a little fun like we're kids again and run through it. Oh, that's everybody gets a baptism. You get a baptism. I knew it was coming.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I would totally be willing. And I know w what pastor you're talking about, ironically.

SPEAKER_00 1:48

Oh well, it's a you know it's a tight community.

SPEAKER_01 1:51

Uh-huh. Uh too tight in that. Anyway. Uh Pony Joe. What about a drive-thru baptism? Oh, that's great. They said I do a drive-thru, uh I do a drive-thru puddle and give people a drive-by baptism. There you go. All the time. Yeah. There you go. And then um You gotta read Natalie's.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

Oh, I did. Oh, that was Natalie's. That's right.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

And then Scott better have answers ready at the Pearlie Gates.

SPEAKER_00 2:15

Oh, believe me, I've been practicing like you wouldn't believe.

SPEAKER_01 2:18

Would you like to give us one of your sins right now, Scott?

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Uh, not really. I'm okay keeping that one to myself.

SPEAKER_01 2:26

You could have came up with something so silly, and I think in your mind you automatically go back to confession when you were, what, 10? Oh, yeah, that was awkward.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

And then, Father Tom, I I Oh, let me tell you, you gotta start out like this. Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned. And then all of a sudden, you hear in the background, you hear Yes, my son.

SPEAKER_01 2:47

Wait, do the Optimus Prime?

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Yes, my son.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

I gotta get a little more coffee. If you're just if you guys are just coming in, the guy who voiced Optimus Prime, he died. He was the well, I guess you can call him number two.

SPEAKER_00 2:58

Twelve Hail Marys and a Bumblebee. A Bumblebee? Well, Bumblebee's another chance. I'm trying to work in the Transformers.

SPEAKER_01 3:06

Oh, okay, gotcha.

SPEAKER_00 3:08

On your knees.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

I mean, did you say things like, I tripped little Johnny in the lunchroom? Uh what do you what do you confess at the age of 10? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Mom said it would go blind if I played with it. What more do I say?