Sonja Dalbey_Have a Heart..Organ Donations

The KC crew visits with multiple organ donation recipient, Sonja Dalbey. The KINDNESS of an organ donor cannot be overstated. 

Transcript

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Welcome to the Kindness Chronicles, where once again, we hope to inject the world with the dose of the Minnesota Kindness, kindness that it desperately needs. See you. We are more than nice. We are. It's kindness. Yeah. And uh, we're learning. Kevin Gorg, fresh from the airport, coming back from Las Vegas. Where are we calling you at? Just got back to Minne. Um, yeah. It's been an unbelievable series and, and playoff hockey is, is always something I know that sports fans look forward to. But I gotta tell you, in my 19 years of doing this job, uh, last night was, without a doubt, no question, the toughest loss I've ever seen. And I hope the guys get over it quicker than I do. My coping skills aren't what they used to be, and they've gotta get ready for a game tomorrow in Paul, a do or die game at that. But, uh, that was a kick in the to. Well, it was, uh, the guy was offside though, right? I, I agree. A great, like, great catch by the Vegas coaching staff. Yeah, I, I think the way it played out, you know, a lot of times when there's an offside review, know, we all watch hockey off enough where you, you see the team entering the zone and you, you kind of feel like it's a broken play or something was off. That was not the case. On the Hartman goal, it looked clean coming into the zone. And then the, the big question mark when the puck went in is, was there a kicking motion? There wasn't. He drove the net, the gold tender, made it kind of a poke check, planted puck, you know, bounces up in the air and goes off hartman's freezers into the net. They survive that review and it, you know, the celebration is on twice with a minute and 15 seconds to go in a really pivotal game, and then the coaching staff has that extra time. To kind of break down that film and, and find just a little bit of a glitch and probably an inch, inch and a half where Nyqua Skate was not on the blue line, and just a heartbreaking way for that game to finish and factor in that they had just lost game for at Holman over time. They're a huge underdog in this series. They have legitimately played straight up toe to toe with the Golden Knight, and you feel you should be up three, two, not already three. It's Minnesota Sports guys and we're all beaten down by it. Um, it's been since what, 1991, since one of the Big Four, uh, took down a championship. So I think that all ties into the narrative right now. Well, I just think that we have to manage our expectations. Yeah. This is Loser Town. USA. We're never going to win ever again, but we'll be fine. You know what, let's get right to our guests and let me before you introduce her, I would like to, uh, share with the audience. What transpired shortly, we, um, have this lovely guest that's going to be joining us and Steve Brown said to her, you be quiet now until it's not how I said it. You're spoken to, it's so rude the way you said it. And this is the Kindness Chronicles. I'm so sorry. Yeah. That, that wasn't meant to be like that. And we don't, we don't talk like that, you know? I meant that, I meant that as if it was like, uh, we're gonna, you know, like we have the technology to keep her, you know, in a, in a green room. But we don't, she's just here listening to us. We don't have a green room. No. Actually the room that we're in has a tint of green to it. Yeah. You know, you never introduced, oh wait, I didn't introduce, we got Steve Brown here. Yeah, thank you. We got Kevin on the line and once again, we've got our 50 some year old intern, Jeff Hoffman with us. Jeff is here, so. Great. Thank you. Jeff has been, he's been doing show prep. He's, he's doing, he's studying the show. He's trying to find us people that people have heard of. Jeff is all in Jeff. He's all in. He's all in. But Steve, why don't you introduce our guest? Yes. So this, this guest, I'll ring you in a second. Just keep quiet for a second. Yeah. Could you please be quiet until you're spoken? No. This, uh, this lovely lady has been, uh, brought to my attention from a listener who's also a friend of mine, an old friend of mine from college Roxy. Um, Roxy Charin. Roxy Charin. Married to Paul Charin, who Friend of Paul Of, of Kevin Gor. Yeah. You know what worlds are co It's a small world. Small world. But Roxy turned me onto this, uh, this lady, and said, she's a really, a, a great person. Please listen to her story. let me know if you're interested in talking to her. I want you guys to hear what she's all about. So, Sonya Dalby, welcome to the Kindness Chronicles. Thanks for joining us. Oh, thanks for having me here. I really appreciate that. Yeah. So, Sonya, you told me what your story is. I want to hear more about it, but you are a, a, a survivor of a heart transplant, a liver transplant, and a kidney transplant. Is that correct? That's correct, yeah. How does that happen? Wow. It's crazy and it, she is, we'll have her tell us. But, um, you're here to tell us your story and about why you're, what's your message? Is what you're helping us, uh, understand what's your message is? Okay. So last year I had a heart and liver transplant in January and, um, after that my kidneys failed and they did not recover. And so I had a, uh, kidney transplant in September. And so I'll start with. My first experience with transplants, my stepdad had a transplant when I was in my twenties, and um, he had a heart transplant and he lived for more than 28 years. And even though he's no longer here. His experience helped me get through my experience and at the time he had his transplant in the eighties. Um, Cal, who was the Gopher football coach, he had a heart transplant in the eighties and he came to the hospital and visited my. And that helped him get through all of that. And so, um, my stepdad was very involved with meeting people who were waiting for hearts and people who would with heart transplants. So I was involved in a lot of those things. I'd go to the picnics with them and, um, go to their banquets and things like that. So I met a lot of people with heart trems and that really helped me get through my journey. And so my journey started. I was born with a congenital heart condition. And, um, it was, they told me when I was a kid, it was upside down and backwards with a hole in it. Oh, Jesus. So it just was really transposition of the great vessels and single ventricle and, um, I couldn't run. I was a blue baby. Oh no. Yeah. And so I could not, yeah. I didn't have the oxygen and they actually told my mom I was not gonna survive. Hmm. And back then there were no surgeries available that could help me. Um, and then I found out much later that. Uh, the doctors told me that out of five conditions that can kill a child, uh, heart conditions that can kill a child, I had three of them without surgery, I should say, without surgery. I had three of them and two of them worked together to help me survive. And so that's why I survived and I did really well. I did have a. Open heart surgery in my twenties. Um, and I did pretty well, but I was always pretty physically limited. And, um, a couple of years ago I went in for my checkup and they mentioned that, uh, this might be the time to start talking about a heart transplant. And I knew I had been declining, I had really been declining, and I just thought, well, you know, I'm older and my heart's probably getting worse. But, um, I had really slowed down quite a bit. Um, I'll tell you, having that heart transplant, I feel so much better than I've ever felt and Oh, that's fantastic. At what point in your youth did you realize that, that a heart transplant was probably where you were gonna end up? Two years. Oh, is that okay? Yeah. Had never even, yeah, I had never even thought anything before then. I, it had never even occurred to me. And, um, I had gone to the University of Minnesota for years. I actually had my transplant done, um, at Mayo and either, they're both wonderful places. I. You know, I could have gone to either one, but, um, but I had mine done at Mayo. Um, I ended up switching doctors probably about 10 years ago, and I ended up down at Mayo. Um, so they are, they're great. The University of Minnesota's great. Um, but, and I, it was a surprise to me. I, I really kind of thought that I just wasn't gonna live as long because of my situation. I really didn't know I could get a second chance at life like this. You know, when they started talking about it, I was, I was surprised. I was really shocked when they, when they brought up the, the term, you know, that we might start talking about a transplant. My husband and I walked out to the car. I didn't say anything till I got in the car. And then I said, did he say what? I think he said, oh wow. So Sonia, I'm, I'm kind of surprised, um, after all you've been through with your dad, how old was your dad when he had his. He had his in his forties. Okay. He was about 42. How come that wasn't top of mind as you went through this? Or was it just something you never considered? You know, um, I thought my heart got me through so many years. Um, and I just, you know, I don't know. It just. It seemed to be doing well. I mean, I lived a pretty normal life except that I was, um, physically limited. I couldn't run and things like that. But as long as I was just living my life, I did fine. So I graduated from college. I worked full-time, you know, I was a realtor. I had different careers and, and I did fine. Um, until probably the last few years, things were getting worse and worse, and I knew that, but I really didn't. I don't know why I didn't think about that. They hadn't mentioned it to me, and I was surprised when they did because I think they were trying to just, you know, work with my heart. Yeah. And I was surprised when they said that. Well, so everything is still fairly recent to you then. Um, I'd like to know. Yeah, I'd like to know when did you realize that things were different? When did you wake up or, you know, make a move? I know you told a great story about running, uh, with your grandchild, so you're talking about post post-surgery? Yeah. Post everything I can before we get to post surgery. Yeah. Can I just quick ask, was the, the liver transplant, was that related to a cardiac challenge that you had? It was, yes. Okay. How did that, I mean, you know, that's interesting. Yeah. The knee bone is connected to the elbow bone or whatever that line is. It affected one another. Yeah. So they impacted one. Yeah. Yeah. So what happened was when they did my, um, they did a font hand procedure when I was in my, when I was 23. And what they did was they rerouted everything to go through my lungs before it went into my body to give me more oxygen. And what happened? Excess blood flow would be through the liver. You know, that was the plan, but over years and years, over decade, that put too much pressure on my liver. Yeah. And so my liver just got, um, it, it grew, it was, it was much larger. It was very enlarged. Um, it was much larger than a normal liver would've been. It was working actually hard. Lot of scaring. And then that caused the kidney problem. all of these things, like you say, they are connected. So I already was having a little bit of kidney um, problems when I was going through the evaluation, but what they hope, you know, it wasn't bad enough to not do the surgery and oftentimes your kidneys can recover. So they were trying to wake up my kidneys, trying to get them to recover, but they just didn't recover. So that also needed to be, um. I needed a transplant for that. When, when you were young and received this news about how you were born, how did it just change your outlook? How did it impact your friendships? I always knew when I was a kid, I knew I was different. I couldn't run with the kids. I didn't play sports with the kids, those things were different, but I just knew I couldn't do those things. And so, um, you know, I, I gave an example that you referred to where I, if I had to run, um, I could run maybe half a block and, and then I would be gasping for air. I just couldn't breathe, gasping for air. My heart would feel like it was just pounding out on my chest and then I, he blood in my throat and you know, so it was really not a pleasant experience to run. So I just never ran, I never tried to do all of those things. And then after my transplant, it's amazing how much more energy I have. Um, I've been able to run, you know, I have, I don't run very far, but the first time I ran, I was racing my nephews and I, um, you know, I said, let's run one block. I'd never run a block before. Wow. And so I ran a block and they won because they had more experience. I did. But, um, it, I, it felt wonderful when I took that breath of air. It was just exhilarating. It felt like everything was filling up with oxygen. It felt wonderful, and I had never experienced that before. So that I, I don't mean to, to make light of this, but I can't run a half a block without my heart pounding and the taste of blood in my mouth. Maybe we gotta, I need a heart transplant. You know, I knew when I was a kid, I was different than the other kids. No, I'm sorry. I just, I couldn't resist, resist. I couldn't resist. John, Kevin Gorg, you have a. Friend that recently went through a, a transplant or that had a transplant that you wanted to, uh, to mention? Yeah, I story. He's a hockey guy in town. He played for the golden golfers. He was a spectacular athlete from, from Hi Minnesota. Real tight family. Um, they all grew up playing hockey and he and a brother that needed a kidney and he, um, ended up giving up his kidney to save his brother's life. And I guess. It, it absolutely ties into your journey. I, I'm, I'm wondering, in a situation like you went through, do you end up meeting the family? Oh, good question. Or knowing the story of, the person that has donated to organs, you know, they cannot share that information with you, but what we can do is write a letter. So I've written both of my donor's family's letters. And thanking them and you know, it's a hard letter to write because, you know, it's so emotional. Yeah. But, um, right. You know, I was thanked to thank them and tell them, I mean, the most wonderful gift anybody can ever give and get, it's a gift of life. And I would not be here today without those donors. And so I wrote a letter and I sent them pictures and I said, you know, if they, um, if it's in them to wanna reach back out, I would love to. Talk to them someday and I've not heard back from either, but I will write again and I'm hoping, I know, I know some people who've written several times and finally heard back. I'm hoping maybe they just need more time. Yeah, I mean this is sure. A very emotional thing for them. So, um, I am hoping that I get to meet them at some point. We have wonderful, we have Sonia, we have something on this show. We refer to it as Oxy to Sunday. Mm-hmm. And what that is, is on Sunday we encourage our listeners to watch videos on YouTube that are just your happy place. And recently, for whatever reason, and I don't know if it's just serendipity, but I have found that I'm getting fed these videos about. People who have had heart transplants. Really? That, I'm not kidding you, just this last week, heart transplants and like at the, the, the wedding of the girl who got the heart transplant, the family of the, the, the man who donated the heart could come and listen to the heart of their. Loved one, and it just wow. Tears me up to watch those videos. Oh, so amazing. Yeah. and I, I hope this isn't crass, but like, do you feel someone else's heart inside of you? You know, you hear those stories about you suddenly have a taste for something that you never had a taste for before. Is that a thing? Yeah. Um, it, it is, I don't know that I have anything specific like that, but I definitely, because my heart feels different, it's, it's quieter. It used to pound and be really loud, and it used to be I was in atrial fibrillation uhhuh, so it just was. And so now it's really quiet. I mean, if I try to feel it, I can feel it, but it's really peaceful. Wow. And I feel stronger and I feel healthier. And so I am always aware of, of my donor and what they did for me. And I, I do feel different in that way. I do know. Some people that their tastes have changed. At first, after I went home, I really wanted donuts. I thought that was my me too. John loves donut. Gotta go. It had to be a cop. Yeah, I know. That's what I kept thinking because I thought I never used to frame this, and now I do, but that's settled down a little bit. I don't really know, but I'm dying to know. If my donor, you know, donor's, family says that, uh, they like donuts. Well, Sonia, there's a place in, uh, little Canada called donut hot. There we go. Yeah, they suggest it big time. So do you know how old your donor was? I don't. Okay. Okay. So you don't have any of that information? Nope. Nope. I don't know. And I wish I did. Um, I knew they were from out of the area, at least the heart and liver because they had to fly a larger plane out of area to, send two teams out there. But that's all I really know. So I'm really hoping someday they'll write me back. But we'll see. I guess we'll see. Sonia, are your donors from multiple people? Are there three different donors or is it. Um, two. Two. Two. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Two. Okay. So the interesting thing is that the, with the heart and the liver, um, they had to come from the same person and, you know, you're always at risk of, of rejecting the organs. Oh, okay. And somehow when the liver comes with the heart, but it, you are protected, your liver has more, protection then the other organs. And so somehow that. Being as likely to reject. Who was the first person to decide? You know, what we're gonna try and do is we're gonna try and take a heart from one person. Yeah. And put it in another. It's a medical miracle. It really is. It's only, you are, you are a walking medical miracle. It's so amazing to hear you tell this story. There was actually a movie back in, I think it was 93 Christian Slater, Marissa. To me it was UNT Untamed Heart. Yep. And it, it's a kind of a tie in'cause there's actually a North Star hockey scene, but uh, that's a shout out to kg. There you go. My question is, thank shout for Sonya. Who were people that were special to you that helped get you through this path in your life? Um, just on the topic of kindness, was there any, is there a lifelong friend? Any stories you can share that were important? my husband for getting me through all of this. He was with me the whole time. I knew I was different. I knew I was limited, but I always felt pretty normal. I mean, always had really great friends and you know, I think my stepdad is the person that I credit with getting me through this because he lived for over 28 years. I knew, you know, hey, if, if he could do this, and I know Cal Stall got him over that as well, and I felt like if he can do this, I can do this. So I felt really confident and strong going into the surgery. You know, I had to wait in the hospital for a couple of months until the organs became available. I wasn't well enough to leave, but I always felt good because I knew what he had gone through, you know? And then you talk about the history of. Transplants and there's a book called The King of Hearts, and it's about the doctors at the University of Minnesota and about their trials in the very beginning of these kinds of things, doing open heart surgeries on children. so that's an interesting book when you speak about those things. Yeah, if only I was interested in reading a book. Im more of a documentary, John. I'm more of a TV guide. Right. To be honest with you. Yeah. I just want to acknowledge that Jeff, our, uh, 50-year-old intern here. 55. I'm 50. Are you 55? Yeah. Holy smoke. Yeah. I'm Steve's age. He's asking all these thoughtful questions and I'm giving directions to donut huts. So maybe you're better at this than I am. I, I think what Sonya, what you and I talked about is another, important piece of this is. We want to hear what your message is about this. So what are you taking from this and what are you trying to, uh, share with our audience aside from your just amazing story? so what I would really like to do, because you know what my stepdad, how much he helped me and how much Cal helped him, I am getting involved in different things. there's the transplant support group at Mayo and we've got, heart transplants and lung transplant people there. And then when I hear about people that are in the hospital waiting, like I was, I've been going down, I went and visited one man who's waiting still in the hospital, and then next week I'll be going down and meeting him again and another person. So I wanna just try and, you know, help share more my story and hope. Hopefully to give them hope, but also I've become an ambassador for LifeSource and they're the regional, company that coordinates all of the transplants. So they will work with the families of the donors and they'll work with the hospitals and I've become an ambassador for them. Just sharing the message about how important donation is. And so this month, April is donate life month and their message is to be good and believe there is good in all of us. Wow. And so, and one of the things that I wanted to, try to spread the message of that 95% of the people. Believe that it's a good thing, but only 50% of the people are actually registered Oh, as a donor. the action that people can take is they can go out and they can register and anybody can do it. we all have the power to do that. Anyone can register and that, if people support this. they can register either on their driver's license or, um, lifesource.org. It's life source.org or hunting and fishing licenses. And then also the apple, iPhone has a health, app on there and you can go on there and register to become a donor as well. Wow. So what, what you told me also, Sonya, is that okay, so. Only 50% of that, 95% of people that believe it's a good thing, donate. But, we need so many because there's so many chances of matching are really low and we need way more. Yeah, because you need more Yes. Than that's out there for the chance of. In our country, there's a hundred thousand people waiting for donations and in all kinds of donations. And, about 3000 in our region are waiting. And of the people that are registered. Um, of the 50% of the people that are registered, only 1% actually become Oregon donors. And 3% of those people, um, can become other kinds, you know, tissue donors and cartilage, things like that, eye donors. Um, and so we really need a lot more people. Not everybody that's waiting gets to be a donor. Yeah. The thing I can't wrap my head around is. What's wrong with the 5% that don't think that this is a good thing? Yeah. what's the deal with that 5% fair question though. Really? Yeah, it's, yeah, it's just, well, and, and you know, most of the major religions a support organ donation. Anybody can become a donor. It doesn't matter their age, their health situation. You know, anybody can become a donor. You know, and a lot of us, they can use something, you know, so. Um, I've been a donor all my life as far as I can remember, and whatever they can use when I'm done, I hope they can use something. Right. Right. That's the thing you, you know. Has anyone, anyone here in this group talking here or anyone our audience watching the show, the Pit with Noah Wiley? I watched the first episode and I couldn't take it. There was too gruesome. Um, it's a very, it's very, it's like er, but the focus is less on the relationships with the doctors. Is it the same, is he playing the same character that he was on er No, not necessarily. No. Oh, so he's not. Uh, okay. No, it's, it's a really, really good show, but it's very medical, it's very procedural, and it's very highly recommended and, and appreciated by the medical industry because they're following protocols. Uh, and the reason why I bring it up is because it's a very thoughtful, touching episode about, uh, child that, had a drug overdose kind of situation. Oh. And donated all their stuff. Yeah. They were rec they were asking if he was gonna donate his donate. You know, their sun. And it was a really hard situation, but it was such a well done, real feeling thing. And uh, it's, it, it ties in perfectly with this Yeah. This conversation I would suggest to people next Oxy to Sunday. Yeah. I'm not kidding. You go on YouTube and the stories of, as you've just described from the pit. Yeah. these young, teenagers that get into a car accident, but they've got, their eyes are getting donated. Yes. Kidneys, you can really impact a lot of people. Right. turning something that's obviously very tragic into something that's got some, because Soya is a living breeding, uh, example of that. So, I mean, this is so, so great. Yeah. Donating, donation, you know, sign up. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. And I'm so grateful. I mean, I am so grateful to my donors. And the other thing is, one donor can, um, save or improve the life of up to 75 people. So it's huge. It's a huge thing to be a donor. Oh, wait a minute. I'm not great at math, but 75 people, I mean, what are they? how does that work? Yeah. Well that, where does that, well that's, you know, where you've got your major organs, but you've also got skin tissue and, and part it. Knees and eyes and, um, bone, tissue. You know, bone for, you know, teeth. And, I mean, there's all different. Ways that they can use, um, use those things. So I feel like the only thing that people would want from me is I got great calves, I've got good calves. Do they do calf donations? You know, the rest of it. They'd look at me and go, eh, we're good. We're good. No, I, I don't need to make light of it. It's, it's actually, it's a very, no, it's good fun. Sonia, thank you so much for your time. Uh, yes. We love your story. We wish you well. Kg you're gonna have to, uh, to tell your friend church that, uh, that we have a new friend, mutual friend. Friend. Of a friend. Of a friend, yeah. Yeah. And, uh, I wanna text him right now as soon as we hang up and let him know we had a chance to hear Sonia's story. And, uh, you know, I think with, with Arch and, and that whole crew, I know, um, you know, she's a big time runner. I know his daughter or their daughter is a big time runner. So Sonia, as you build up your endurance, maybe you guys Yeah, even remotely can do a little running thing with, uh, your Churchian buddies. But, uh, Utah, I'm Utah excited for you to hear that story and months in the hospital, the journey you've been on. Um, just incredible to hear it. Very powerful. Now I'm motivated the next time I go to the DMV to figure out how I can be a donor. Yeah. Do, um, like John stuff is many. I don't drink and smoke and I don't do drugs, so I've got something I can offer maybe. Yeah. But very motivated to hear your story and thank you for sharing it. Yeah. Oh, thank you so much. I really appreciate you listening to my story, and it's really been a pleasure to talk to all of you. It's been kg if there's a market for chin uh transplants, we could, we could take care of a. Alright, Sonya, thank you so much for joining us. You're an inspiration. I, I'm so glad to hear your story. Great. And I'm glad you're doing great. Thank you so much. Good. And off we go.