178. Military Reunions w/ Command Sgt. Major Dempsey

We visit with Divisional Command Sgt. Major Mac Dempsey (One of 8 in the Country) about his 35-year military career and the role reunions play in the lives of those serving and why we enjoy witnessing them SO MUCH! OxytoSUNDAY.

Transcript

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I don't know what kind of soldier I'm gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into real heavy combat. I'll be right behind you guys every step of the way. Welcome to the Kindness Chronicles, where once again, we hope to inject the world with a dose of the Minnesota kindness that it desperate. Desperately needs. Why? Oh, that's right. You're a rock star. You have to do that. Just do that. Put the mic near your mouth. Oh, I just do that. Sorry. Okay. I know you and, uh, you and Michael Dempsey are going to be doing like Steven Tyler No. Like Bruce and Little Steven Bruce and Little Steven. Yes. Yeah. When, when they share the mic, we look exactly like him. Everybody's got a hungry heart. You brought the breath mints. Yeah. I've always been concerned about that. Um, Jeff is here. Hi, Jeff. Hey, happy Thanksgiving. Yeah, it was Happy Thanksgiving. Boys, we, we have a special guest we're gonna get to in a moment. I just would like to, start with a, happy Thanksgiving everyone. Hope you guys had a great time. It was amazing. Great Thanksgiving. Great Thanksgiving. Yes. Awesome. Little cold bud. Loved it. Loved getting together with everybody. Did the meal, you know, Michael, I know that you spent a lot of time in the kitchen. Did it? Did, did you spatchcock your bird? I didn't. I love saying spatchcock for some reason. Yeah. Like saying it as well. I saw a lot of people doing it, doing the spatchcock, but I, I didn't, didn't go there. We did one of them spatchcock this year. Oh, did This year. I didn't. My kids did. Yeah. And was it, it turned out f fantastic. Yeah. That's great. Yeah, it was really good. Yeah. No, but I've decided I don't like Turkey. To game, but, oh my god, Jamie to game. Yeah. I don't know if I'd say game, but you're not alone. There's many people who, yeah, who don't like Turkey, but they don't, I had a lot of carbs. Ate a lot of carbs. You got the starches in. Yeah. What do you run after you eat all those carbs? Not me. I went and took a nap. I love the Turkey. I thought it was awesome. Uhhuh. I love the starches too though. I'm, I might be becoming vegan. Oh wow. Probably not. No. Okay. Except for like a good steak every once in a while. So I have a fun story to tell you, and this is going back to, remember when we visited with, Dan Bourne from Helen's Pink Sky Foundation? Yes. So. I was at the Gopher football game on Saturday and Dan was there with his son George, and George is this 6-year-old first grader, and I immediately fell for this little guy. He was hilarious. For starters, he, you know, they have all kinds of food in the suite. Yes. I was in the suite of course where I should be. Um, no surprise. But they had a, this great spread of food and. George comes down and he's got a bowl full of m and ms. Peanut, m and ms and, sour Patch Kids. That sounds like a meal for a 6-year-old. So as he's eating, that's what you want. The peanut m and ms, he would eat the chocolate off of the peanut and leave the peanuts in there. So let's just say George consumed a little bit of sugar while we were there, and every time Dan would start telling a story, George would say. Let me tell this dad, and I think he was kind of saying, is this a long story? And he would tell these stories with such great detail. It was absolutely the highlight of the, the football game. Uh, Dan said he was a sweet kid. Oh my God. He was a special kid. He sounds like it, huh? He's he is a sharp little guy. Smart as a whip. But my favorite part was I thought, okay, I'm gonna get this kid in trouble in school on Monday. And I said to him, Hey, who's the cutest girl in your first grade? And you know, usually kids won't answer that question. He had an immediate answer. So this guy gets it. Do you have a name? I'm not gonna put out the name. Okay. Alright. We're not gonna put out the name. Okay. But what'd you say to this 6-year-old boy about cute girl? Here's what you need to do when you see her on Monday, I want you to go up to her and go just very politely. A Hubba Hubba and he thought that that was fantastic. So I haven't heard yet how it's gone at school. He is probably been in the principal's office a couple times. Yeah, he's probably in trouble. But you know, it's kind of a harmless, you know, at some point you gotta figure out how to hit on the girls. Right. In a polite way. You know, I think No, I, I agree with you. But did you consider that maybe the name he gave you was the teacher? A hub, a hubba, let's, yeah. Right. I mean, hot for teacher. Yeah, I guess so. A hub, a hubba to the teacher, I'm sure. Anyways, I just, you know, if you're listening, George, I'm a big fan. I can't wait till we can hang out again, Dan, you can come along as long as your stories aren't too long. you've got some, uh, some information for today's show? Yeah, I, I was gonna tell a story. I'm not gonna get it. No, tell it. Well, is it a long story? No, it just relates. I kind of blew off, you know, messed with the, the flow here. But I was gonna say, when my daughter was five, my daughter Lucinda mm-hmm. We got a note from her school that says she was chasing the boys around Uhoh and calling them hot lips. Oh no, we saved that note.'cause it was the funniest note we've ever seen, like our daughter. Her and her friend were doing that and they didn't know that. It was like, you know, a little calling them hot lips. Was there like an episode of Mash on or something? I dunno. I dunno where they got that from, but yeah. Hot Lips Houlahan. I thought that was quite funny. That's the second time we referred to Hot Lips Houlahan. On this program. Yeah. Anyway, yes, I have a, I have a, we have a topic, I, I have a topic. We have a topic. So oftentimes we talk about, um, you know, Oxy on Oxy to Sunday. Our goal is to change our, our algorithms and all the stuff that we look at by looking at and following, uh. Videos, uh, lines of videos that watch, uh, have reunions of people, of kids, of puppies, of dogs, all that kinda stuff. Love, but also military reunions. Love, love of all kinds, love surprised the family, uh, relatives, you know, brothers and sisters and, and, uh, uh, loved ones of all sorts. We love them. And, and, and I, I started digging in a little bit of why do we love him so much? What is it? It's embarrassing. You're watching him at work. If you see one on work and you get a little like misty, like you feel like a fool, you don't wanna let anyone see you, so it's terrible. But they are ama amazingly, especially when you've got the rockstar, um, eye makeup on, and it starts running down your face. Do you wear, do you wear, do you wear eye makeup on stage? You, why would you ask me that? you're the rockstar. Do you ever, have you, did you ever wear eye makeup? Well, you made it sound like you had that experience. No, we, we actually wore eyeliner one time to be funny. Oh no. Guy liner poison. It was when no one was there. We, we had a, it's a long story anyway. No, we don't, we don't wear makeup, John. It's not, we're not a kiss. It's not 1970. No, but I mean, just to, you know. No. Okay. Just clam it up a little. No. Back to the theme of the show. Back to the topic. Sorry. I wanna get, we have a guest. Wanna get to our guest here. So I started looking into it. Why do we like this? So the reason why we like them is it hits us in the center of our biology, our psychology, and our humanity, right? So these things touch on instant emotional impact. Uh, the videos trigger oxytocin. Yeah. Which is what we already knew about. It's our bonding hormone. They, uh, there's a mirror emotion effect. Our brains mimic the joy and relief we're watching. So we feel like we're part of the reunion. Um, also themes of sacrifice and loyalty. They remind us of what military families endure. Distance, uncertainty, and emotional toughness. Um, pure expressions of love, kids sprinting, uh, to their parents, parents crying, dogs losing their minds, unfiltered, genuine affection. It's amazing, right? Um, constant daily negativity. Um, it's also reminds us that, um, the world is a good place and there's. Uh, true connection with people. So there's many other reasons, but these things make us, uh, make us better and they give us momentary faith in humanity and we love them and they're actually helping us chemically with the oxytocin. So we thought this is a perfect instance to have to kind of continue our Veteran's Day conversation. Yeah. Uh, we, we were asking to, looking to get this guest with us, but I'm gonna have Michael introduce this special guest that's sitting down here in the studio with us today. So lovely. And then we'll get into all this conversation with him. All right. I, I, that's great. I couldn't be happier to introduce this special guest. This special guest is, uh, got a lot of experience in the military, this special guest. Grew up on the mean streets of Little Falls, Minnesota, and I'm talking mean streets, west side. This is good. I'm talking West side. All gravel roads. This is an accomplished, accomplished grade school athlete. I mean he school. He is accomplished grade school athlete, nominated many times for the coveted McPlay of the week award for his baseball prowess. Won at one time. He, um, took those skills into high school and in all seriousness, uh, captain many varsity teams, his senior year, he actually was voted the athlete of the class, the athlete of the year, the male athlete of the year, which is amazing. And if that wasn't enough, he decided between his junior and senior year, when most people are having fun and just scraping together some cash mowing lawns, he said, you know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna join the military. Wow. And between junior and senior year, he headed off to basic training. Wow. And since that time, I'm proud to introduce a guy near and dear to my heart, someone I've spent a lot of time with, whether he likes it or not. My brother, command Sergeant Major. Dempsey, welcome to the podcast. Mark. Welcome. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Wow. Listen to that. Thanks everybody. Thanks everybody. It's a live audience down here, welcome Mark. I didn't realize that you were, you know, I mean, athlete Little Falls, how many in your graduating class? Seven. No, about 303. What? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. When we were there. So the athlete of the Out of 303, 3 50, 3 20 in that neighborhood. Yeah. Before we get into the military stuff, what sports did you play? I was a football player, a wrestler, and I was a pole vaulter and track. Pole vaulter. Yep. Now we had an episode where we talked about the fact that I told my daughter's friends that I was a pole vaulter, and they looked at me and they thought, Hmm, I don't know if I buy that. Maybe shot put. I was a shot put guy. I know you were. I was shot put in disc. We on, we were on the track team at the same time. That's exactly right. You were more of an athlete. I was a, uh. It was a thrower, which usually, but pole vault. Yeah. We both did it. Yeah, we, yeah, we both pole vaulted. Wow. You know, I could watch pole vault videos too, you know, when they jump and then you know the pole. Well, let's not talk about that. I don't think they bring you quite the oxytocin, I wouldn't think. No, no. It brings a different emotion. Just a little, yeah. Kind of a cringey emotion. Yeah. Um, well thank you for coming. Thanks for having me. Um. Where did you do your basic training? Uh, Fort Dixon, New Jersey, we were the last group to go through Fort Dix before they shut it down. Okay. Yep. And where do they go now? Like Fort Benning. Fort Benning. Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri. Okay. Fort Jackson. There's a few different places, but you've obviously turned this into a career. Yeah, For starters, command Sergeant Major has got the three up. Three down and then a little something in the middle, a little star with Reese around the star. Okay. Yep. there aren't many of those. Um, boy, I, I just got accepted to be the division command star major. Okay. And there's eight of us there. And, and how? So, eight, eight. Eight in the entire country. Eight in the country. Wow. Geez. Eight division. It can, and you related to Michael Dempsey, I guess our, oh boy. Yeah. This is the Kindness Chronicles. Hey, let's go. Let's go. Easy. Let's go. So, well, congratulations. That's pretty cool. Thank you. So what would you say you do as a Command Sergeant Major? Whew. So many things. I, I think, uh, the biggest thing I do is just ensure that all the soldiers within the, the organization, um, have everything they need to succeed, be ready to go do missions overseas or, you know, as we saw a few years ago, stateside. Okay. Um, I, I just really helped to make sure that all soldiers have what they need and they're ready to go. Uh, whenever the call comes. And you're here in Minnesota? Yep. I'm, I'm stationed, so I work full-time in St. Paul Monday through Friday. Yep. And then my, my division job is in Arden Hills. Oh, really? At the old, uh, whatchamacallit planned. Yes. Yes. We're on that complex. You're on that complex. I, you know, that was gonna be the Viking Stadium. Yeah. At one point Plant. That That's right. And, and, and before that it was blank. They toxic waste and stuff there. You know, I, you can a little bit of a glow when you came downstairs. I have spent a lot of time out there. Okay. Don't drink the water. I'm just gonna throw, uh, this out. This, this question for you. Um, uh, command sergeant major, uh, your command sergeant, major Division command sergeant major. That was actually effective yesterday. Yep. And we're talking about. 10,000, uh, troops up upwards to 20, 20,000, 20,000 soldiers that that, that you have to ensure are getting the train, get, you know, you're just in charge of everything that, that they need to do to be successful. It, it, it's kind of weird because we have multiple states where we have soldiers. We, we really focus on Minnesota soldiers, um, 10,000 here in the state of Minnesota. If we were to have to go do a mission. That the whole division was called upon. That's where all the states would come together and then we would proceed to go where, where we're asked to go. So I don't see all the soldiers. We'll, we'll get out. That's a lot of soldiers. Yeah. Me and my boss will go. And, and so who is your boss? What role, what rank do they have? He's a general. He's a general, okay. Yep. He's a general. And who's the general? His name is, uh, Joe Sharkey. Okay. General Joe Sharkey. Like is, was Gene Ti, is that a name you're familiar with? Yeah, he who he was the general, yeah. Um, right when I got in. Okay. He, he's, he, uh, is he still around? He, he is still around. Yeah. Um, he was mid nineties. Yeah. How about Denny Schad? Do you know that name? I, I don't know that one. Okay. How do you know, how do you know these people, John? Well, I, I know people, I guess, so Gene Andretti was the, the Adant general, like you said, back in the nineties. And he served on a board that I, you know, and he's just a really good, good guy. So you've been in the military since high school then? Yep. I'll hit 35 years in March. Holy smokes. That's impressive. Yep. And, and we're, we're. Obviously here the theme is reunions and what's interesting is getting us back on track. Sorry. Well, I'm just saying, you know, you go in when, you know it's the early nineties and a lot of people are going in because they wanna pay for college and they're rolling the dice and then all of a sudden, you know, nine 11 happens and you, you know, you roll craps and all of a sudden it's not just paying for college anymore, all of a sudden. You're, you're getting deployed because I think the National Guard is 60% of the military force. Rough, roughly. Yeah. So, so we, we, we think, oh, it's always the active duty army. It's, it's not National Guard reserves make up 60%. And so, uh, command Sergeant Majors mc, what? You weren't always a command sergeant major Way back in the early two thousands. I think that was your first deployment, right? To talk about reunions? Just to get back to that, um, 2005, um, was my first deployment. We had to, um, it was, it was kind of a, a, a new war for us. We were, were National Guard people. We weren't used to, you know, what we were about to do. So we ended up having to go to Camp Shelby, Mississippi for six months. To train. And it was right after Katrina. Oh wow. Had hit, so when we got down there, it was two weeks later, everything was destroyed, tarps. But we, we spent six months getting ready to go. Um, and then we deployed, we were in Iraq, um, and we had spent a year there. They're usually about a year. Okay. And, uh, we were packing up, getting ready to come home, getting excited for the reunions and. Uh, I, I received a call from back home. Uh, I was getting yelled at at seven in the morning, and it was, it was my, was it my wife? It was my ex-wife. Oh, okay. Going. When the hell were you gonna tell me? And I was, I was in my office. We're in a motor pool. It's dirty, it's an tent. And, um, what the, what are you talking about? We hadn't heard. Uh oh. But the news had come out in Minnesota that we were being extended another six months. Oh, I remember that. Yeah. This isn't the Red Bulls, is it? Yes. This is the Red Bulls. Yes. That's the division I'm in. Okay. Yeah, it's like John Creel. Did you know John? Yep. Yep. I knew John. He was a, he was up north from where I was at. Okay. Um, some good friends of mine were up there with him, but yeah, it turned into. Um, a day short of 23 months being gone from home. Holy smokes. Yeah. So, um, and you know, it's funny, all three of my deployments, we've been extended. Well, they must like you. Yeah. You know, it's so good. If you sucked, they would've sent you home. Yeah. So that first one, that first 1, 22 months, I mean two years. Wow. So I just imagine this. Yeah. 22 months. And at the time you had children? Um, yeah. My, my daughter, my oldest daughter, she was six weeks when I left. Oh. My stars. And, uh, my sons were four and five, five and six. Wow. You know, so you talk about sacrifice. And I'm not making light of this, but I feel like when I go away for three or four days when I had kids, I just, it's remarkable. You know, not only the sacrifice are you making the sacrifice that all those people are making. Mm-hmm. Which makes the whole concept of a reunion even that much more amplified. My gosh. Yeah. So, mark, you went to, you had three deployments where they all, where, where were they all same place or, uh, no. My first one, uh, we were in Iraq exclusively. My second one, uh, spent most of my time in Kuwait. Um, went up to Iraq once or twice. And then my third one, my most recent one, Kuwait, Iraq, Syria, Turkey. Um, so I, I kind of was all over the region. We had soldiers, uh, throughout. So my boss and I at that time would, uh, every month go out. Um, and we did for the first couple months. And then we had some issues where, um. Yeah, it wasn't a good issue. But then my boss and I would then go one month, he would go, one month I'd go in case something really went down. Um, he talks about going to Iraq, like we talk about going to St. Cloud. It's a very different, it's kind of like going to Wisconsin. Cze. Slovakia. Yeah. Slovakia in and out. It's, it's, it's an, it's crazy to think about. I, I, we were talking on the way over here. That to your point, John, um, the minute you leave, the minute you leave on a military deployment, all you think about is getting home. That's it. It's how many days before I can get home and that that is, that is the, that's always, that's sort of this top of mind for so many soldiers. Like I just, I just want to, I just wanna get home. But, but isn't there something to like my understanding of the people that I know that have served. There's something about that brotherhood that you have that as, as much as you want to get home, you really do kind of make the most of the time that you are with the guys and the gals that you're with and, and going to, uh, your point, that's the, you know, when you come home, um, that's a struggle because you've been with, right, all these people, 24 hours. I mean, you were with them in the worst situations. Just, I, I can relay'cause I had a band and we traveled on the road and I just sleep next to all these band members. That's, that's different. It's almost the same though, Steve, almost, it's the same. It's brotherhood, but I, but in a small way. I understand. But, but yeah, you, you just spend all your waking time for 22 months with the same group of people. So when you get home, you know. They're kind of your family for two years. You bet. And then, you know, you gotta transform back to your actual family. So I want to, I want to ask about that specifically, but just to put it into a timeline so we can all understand from about 2005 to when, when was the last, when, when did you return from the last deployment? Approximately? Like, just as a span of years? 2021. Wow. Okay. So I, I did five to seven, 2011 to 12, and then 19 to 20. Okay. Where were you for 19 to 20? That was the Turkey. Turkey and all that other, that was the turkeys here all over the place. It's a lot of travel and a lot of time away. And the, and the thing to, to, to underscore here is with each of those deployments, he's at a different rank, different level of responsibility. Sure. Right. So on the last deployment, um, when Command Sergeant Major, oh, there he is. Yeah. Talks about, talks about flying around. It's because his, his span of responsibility. Is so broad that he's gotta get in a helicopter and fly to all of these bases just to make sure the soldiers are all right because he's at a different level and, and that's the other thing. It just raises the complexity. Well, and that wasn't a hot tub that he was hanging out in there either. That was the polar plunge in 2010. Yeah. Yeah. I don't understand why people do that. It was, you were raising money, weren't you? We, we was. Tell us a little about the background. This is the kindest chronicles. Yeah, it was, it was just like, way to go back there, Jeff. It's like what we do here with the polar plunge. We all raise money back home and um, that was a big water tub, if you will, that they had filled with ice the day before. Oh, so that was in when you were deployed in Kuwait? Yeah. Oh, wow. Oh wow. It was probably quite refreshing. And so So so under reunions, all right, so, so obviously you've had a lot, you've gone a lot, you've had come back a lot. So you've, you've seen these, um, or you've witnessed it, you've been a part of many of them. What do you think when you see these? Like, do you, do you enjoy seeing these reunions as much as we all do? Or, you know, it's gotta be a different thing for you, but. What you think of these things. It was funny when you were talking at first about, you know, what people think and how they feel. I started thinking about mine and you, I still get emotional. Sure. Uhhuh thinking. I remember exactly. Each time I came home, I remembered how my twins were when my wife came home, you know? And every time I watch these videos,'cause I watch'em. So is your wife in the military as well? She, she is. Oh, okay. Oh, okay. Listen, that's a whole nother level. Yeah. Was there a dog involved in your homecoming? Uh, yes, there was actually, actually, yeah. Um, and, um, check, check, check. Yeah. I, I, I run the gamut. So, um, when I watch the videos, I still get emotional because I know how it feels. I know what they're going through, you know, being gone for so long, and it's just all that emotion. Yeah, wrapped up. Do, do you have access to like FaceTime? I mean, do you have the opportunity to face Oh yeah. Okay. So imagine what it was like in World War ii for starters. I have a question about how do you get the mail to the people in World War ii? Like, you know, you hear these stories about, writing all these letters and how do they find these soldiers out in the field? But, you know, I, you know, grandparents that left for four years. And we're gone for four years. It's amazing. Came back. Logistics. Yeah. Came back. Yeah, it, it's amazing what they do now. But going back to FaceTime, our first deployment, you would have to walk a mile. You, you didn't have all the gadgets check, right? Yeah. But you would have to walk about a mile to go to this big phone booth, and you would wait in line and you'd have your little calling card and you'd have to scratch it off. No kidding. And you would just pray. That when you dialed the number, someone was there to answer your, your family was home and, and that was just a call. There was no visual, no, there was no video attached to that. No. No video. My second deployment, it got a little better. Um, but, and then the third deployment was great. And then the technology started to emerge and you became a reporter. Is that what I'm looking at here? Or what Ha what? What? Tell, tell us a little about this. We were doing shout outs for, I don't know, the Vikings game. You know when you Oh yeah. Go to Veteran's Day and I'm, you know, Sergeant Dempsey from Iraq. Go Vikings. We. I didn't like doing them, but, you know, that was, that's, that was good. Kind of my question. Sometimes it feels very like, oh my God, why are, are we doing this or produced? You mean That's what it was?'cause they give you a script. You have to read the script. You can't go off queue. And it's, everybody reads the same thing. And then did they back it up with Christina Perry a thousand years? Because that seems to be the, oh god. I am sorry that every, can you imagine video now has that this is what it would be. This is private sch choice. This place sucks. Get me outta here. All thirsty. He's he's off script. He's off script. Off script. Cut. Sir, please go to the phone booth. Um, so, and it would be private choice for sure. But, but, but getting back to you, uh. Yeah, it's, it's the emotion of just being gone, especially for that first one where you, you didn't see your kids. Like, I can't, Ima, you know, I would go for, uh, trips for, for work in the past, and I'd be gone. I, I did travel overseas, but you come back after, oh, two weeks or whatever. That, and the, the, that connection with my kids again was amazing. So I can't imagine being gone for two years. So your daughter, they look different, everything's changed, right? Yeah. My daughter was, you know. This big. And then when I got back, she was walking, talking, you know, holy smokes. So I had missed, you know, the, the crawling, the rolling, the walking, you know, just, she was a, a little girl. A little kid. Wow. Um, so, okay, so, so you get these awesome reunions and that connection with your family, you get to see'em eye to you, get to hold them, you get to hug them. That's gotta be amazing. But what happens after that? Well, and that's what, how does that go? That's what Uncle Mike, I'm sorry. Jack Michael, I call him Uncle Mike. He calls me Uncle Mark. Um. Uh, that was the tough thing. Um, they call me creepy Uncle John. I don't know why that is. I'm not kidding. Grumpy Uncle John. Creepy Uncle John. That's a callback from, uh, our Thanksgiving episode. And we said, uh, and when Uncle John comes in and says things inappropriate, and then that's when you said, I'm Uncle John. Yeah. I am creepy Uncle John. That's right. Anyway, go ahead. But, but the reunion with the kids is, is pretty easy. Um, you know that they're. It, it was with, um, like my last two. It was a struggle with my spouse, um, that, that was the tough reunion. Um, you know, she took care of the house, she took care of the yard, you know, she just did everything. And I, I'm kind of the doer in the house, so I wanted to come in and, and do everything and, you know, put rules down for the kids. Um, it was a struggle. It was, it was a struggle coming home on my, my, when I came home for my second deployment, my twins were six, six months old. Um, I came home for the birth and then I had to go back for five months. Wow. So my wife had to take care of the twins, the spouses is the toughest part about a reunion because I mean, you, you gotta learn how to be husband and wife again. You gotta learn. How to hug, how to kiss, you know, be intimate, you know, the chores, just everything. You gotta relearn it again. And that, that's the real struggle that reunions are, is I think I, I'm assuming that there are statistics that compare, like. You know, the, the average number of divorces that happen just in the regular population as compared to the military. I mean, military divorces have gotta be off the charts. I've always wondered after that 22 month deployment, um, how, how many, how many,'cause most of the people that I was close to all have been divorced. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. Um, and, and it's crazy because you. I was a lot different when I came home. You know, she was a lot different when she came home. You bet. And, and you just, you know, two years you grow apart and you find somebody else. Well, yeah. I think, I think you touched on it too, just you, your wife was independent, she had done everything. Now you're, you're, you're there and you haven't grown organically in those roles like you do when you're together all the time. Um, now you're, you're, you don't, you're not working, you're not doing anything. You're just now there, um, looking for what you're supposed to be doing. I, I, I can't imagine how uncomfortable that would be. Well, and it, and it's hard because of my last appointment, I was in charge of a lot of people. Hmm. You know, I put out the rules, the guidance and all that. You come home and I was below the dog again. Yeah, right. You know, it was wife, the ego kids dog me, you know, and my wife told me, she goes. Just remember when you come home, you're not the sergeant major anymore. Mm-hmm. You're down here. You're you. This is where you're at again. Wow. You know, all joking aside, but I mean, no, that's, I mean, that's a legit, absolutely. Let me ask you, the fact that both you and your wife are in the military, um, does that make it easier or harder because. You know, part of you would think, well, we both have a, an understanding of how this is, but the fact that you empathy, you're you both doing it. Yeah. You know, I, I think the easy part is we know what each other's doing, where we're at. Sure. Um, but it's, it's, it's horrible. It's still, I mean, and put the military aside, I mean, it's, it's still, your spouse is gone. You know, your, your loved one is gone and you still worry. Yeah. You know, oh God. You still worry about anything can happen over in that area of the world and what, you know, and it does. Yeah. You know. Oh, it does. Yeah. I mean, my first deployment, I mean, you know, we, we got hit all the time and after a while it became kind of a joke. You just kept playing volleyball as they were coming in. You know, it was like, there's a great song by John Michael Montgomery called Letters From Home. And I think it just, the video does a really good job of painting what you're describing. Check it out. Yeah. I can't play it for obvious. It is a good song. Copyright reasons, but yeah, check it out. Michael, go ahead. Command Sergeant Major EY has a million stories. I, I, there is one story and then I'm gonna get to a question. There's one story that on his last deployment. Um, Michelle and I and the girls were in Europe. It was right before Christmas, and I don't know if you remember that. I don't expect you to remember, but we had done some things. We had sort of, uh, uh, thrown some bombs, I think into Iraq or Iran and uh, it might have been Iran. And uh, Iran said, oh, you're gonna do that. Well, we're gonna get you back. Right? And they threw some scuds. They forewarned us. But they threw some scuds into some small bases outside of a bag. Oh, this was just recently. This was in 2018? 2019. 20 19, 20 19. And they said, Hey, we're gonna do that. And um, we knew that, uh, uncle Mark was flying to all of these bases. And what we didn't know was, was he at that base at that time that that happened And he was. Yeah. And, and so you have this, we're in Europe, sort of vacationing, doing Christmas there, you know, so we're over there. We see this news and we're like, oh my God. Like what? Like what's ha like, is he okay? Right. And that's that. I mean, the story's like that. I mean, can you imagine your spouse is gone? It's incredible. But all of that makes the reunion, all of that emotion, all of that. I just want to get home. Makes, uh, the floodgates open on the, on, on any, on any reunion that you have. I, I'm gonna ask you this question. Um, uncle Mark, um, understanding all of this, and you're painting just a wonderful picture for all of us who have not been deployed and done all of this, but we back home, we see all of these organizations, all of these nonprofit organizations that are out there. To support veterans, to support the families that are home, to support the kids. Can you tell us if you know a little bit about some of those organizations? Because we see we're inundated with'em and they're like, ah, like the Blue Line for instance, is a is an organization, the United Heroes League? Yes. Used to be called Defending the Blue Line. Shane Hu. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, that's an example of if you're not in the military, if you don't sort of have this experience, you're like, oh, that's just a nonprofit. Tell us about that organization and a few others that really do help when you come back. Minnesota does a great job on, um, before you leave. They get you and your, your families together for a day or two, and they have classes and they, Minnesota's got a ton of resources. I mean, the, the big one in Minnesota is called Beyond the Yellow Ribbon Oh Program. Um, you hear a lot of these communities are beyond the Yellow Ribbon program. Uh, Chuck Ha and Hugo, uh, phenomenal. Um, and, but all these organizations, um, are at all of these events. And you go up to each of their tables and you know, if you need help with your furnace, call this group. If your car breaks down, call this group. Really? Wow. Okay. And, and, and so, um, yeah, it, it, anything that you need, um, somebody will take care of you. Now, a lot of people have a lot of pride. They hate reaching out, but I've seen so many families, you know, um, my car broke down. I need a thousand bucks. And, you know, the Minnesota Appreciation Fund. Here's a thousand bucks. Mm-hmm. That's awesome. Go fix your car. Um, when you get home, they have a lot of counselors. They, they, um, have a lot of. Counselors and all the people that are there to help you acclimate back in as a family, an individual. You know, it really, it's very interesting. I am far more familiar with the, the, the veteran organizations that help people when they get back. You know, the people that are dealing with homelessness, like Mac v Minnesota, assistant Council for Veterans. There's a place up in, uh, Sauk Center called Eagles Healing Nest. Mm-hmm. I don't know if you're familiar with them. We've had them. Yep. We had them on, we've had, we've had'em both on, on the, on the podcast. But I did, I guess I didn't realize that there were, you know, organizations that were preparing families and taking care of families. While, I mean, that just warms my heart. Yeah. There, there, um, where I work in St. Paul, there's a, there's just a, a family services wing. That, um, you reach out with anything you need and within an hour you're in contact. No kidding. Yeah. Well, that, you know what, that makes me feel much better about things going on. Well, I, I, and I, I, I started to mention it, but things that you don't even think about, and again, I just wanna go back to the defending the blue line. Um, your kids, they still are active. They still wanna play sports, they still want to be involved, right? Well, they need rides, they need equipment. And there are organizations out there that are even filling that niche. And, um, the defending the Blue Line was one of those, right? Yeah. United Heroes League, um, outfitted my kids with all the hockey gear, you know, hockey's expensive. Yeah. But this, this former soldier started a nonprofit. He used to call it Defending the blue Line. Now it's the United Heroes League. And that's the ho Yeah. Shane Ho. It's down in Hastings and he's got a huge complex now they're doing um, uh, what's the winter? Minnesota. Oh, the the Winter Classic. The the hockey thing. The hockey thing. Oh, cool. Hockey Day in Minnesota. Hockey Day. Minnesota's in Hastings This year is gonna be on his complex. Wow. How about KG will be there. Oh yeah, he'll be there. Have you heard of Can do canines? Yes, I have. Okay. They're on the screen there. Yep. If you wanted to make sure. Yep. I, I have heard that And plug for the dogs. I, I have some folks that. Have utilized that service. So yeah, I love, I love that the labs do do a great job for people, you know. Do you like dogs? I do. Jeff. Yeah, I do love that you do like dogs actually. And I, I love when they're involved, uh, with military and I think it's a great symbiotic partnership. There's some great books about that. Um. I think there's one called Till Tu Till Tuesday or something was ab about a veteran and a dog and how the veteran sort of lifted him the, it was a band in the eighties. It's Amy Mann's band. Man's band. It was, uh, but the dog's name was Tuesday. Voice Carry. Okay. Um, anyway, it helped, um, lift the soldier out of the depression, so I thought my dog was doing a great job. I thought my dog was gonna kill me when I come. Really, really? I, I have a German Shepherd. Oh, oh. And um, you know, but did it recognize you just didn't know what Stranger was in the garage with this family? Yeah. He was of course protecting, protecting her loved ones. Yeah. And, and so she kept getting closer and closer and until she could smell me Yeah. And I would talk to her, but her ears went back a little bit. Yep. And it took about, it was only five, 10 seconds, but she let me know she was there. Wow. And you know, just like you see on the videos. Absolutely pled me. Oh my God. Like I was on the ground and it would not Oh, the minute that it recognized. Yeah. Oh, wow. That's right. When you cue the Christina Perry. Yeah. It, you know, is that the song that I was here? It's the song. It's a thousand years. Yeah, I know exactly what you're talking about. That's awesome. So when you talk about dogs too, I mean, uh. She wouldn't leave me for three days. I mean, yeah. Hated everybody else. And Aw, isn't that awesome? You know, sleep slept. John, you need a dog. Yeah, you do. You know what, it would probably light me up a little bit. It would be nice. Yeah. You need, but you know, when you're, she's mean. Mrs. Schwetz is mean and won't let me have a dog. I don't know. I'm mean to, I don't, I don't have a dog either, and uh, I would be considered me. There's a Japanese great Japanese dog story called Hachi a dog's. Tail, and I bet that would win her over. Richard Gears did that movie. It, it makes her my family cry every time they watch it in the Christmas time. But it's because the dog waits for him, even though he's dead. The dog waits for him at the train station. It's a really sad movie. It is so good though. You know, this took a really weird turn. Why? Why so sad? I If you were gonna reference a movie though earlier, and I, I mean this with all, uh, sincerity Saving Private Ryan. Mm-hmm. Um, the, the, here's the connection with the movie. Tom Hanks is playing, I think he's a reservist or a National Guard guy, and in the movie it's revealed that he's just a science teacher. Yes. Or a math teacher. Mm-hmm. Back, you know, home. He's just, this is his, you know, he, this is his service. Sure. In the country. And just imagine on a two year deployment, you're just with, you know, hundreds if not thousands of people that back home, they're. The science teacher or the engineer, or the mechanic, or, you know, that that's the, that's the group. These aren't people that said, Hey, uh, like your nephew, who an amazing soldier. Who is my cousin? My cousin. Yep. Uh, cousin. But a, a soldier. Soldier. These are people that are, you know, they do, you know, the one weekend a month and then all of a sudden, boom, ultimate sacrifice, boom. You're on a, you're on a base, uh, somewhere, just like. Saving, probably just going, I just wanna get home where I can teach, you know, math class. It's, it's incredible to think about, but makes the reunions all that much better and you know, that's what we're talking about. This is, this is so great that you're, you're giving us the real look at what reunions are all about. I, I, I'm so appreciative that you're able to be here and talk about this. Can you, now, now just getting into kindness, the kindness idea. Do you have an example by chance of, uh, bigger, big or small, um, story about. Some kindness you experienced out there, out there on a deployment with either someone that was with you in your group or, or you know, just talking about the idea of, uh, you're missing home and you're having a hard time. Anything that you can recall or, or, or someone in your group? We would always go to villages, you know, make sure all the riffraff was out. Um, but. One of the people that I worked with over there, he would always bring food and games and um, water, just whatever we could come up with. And the kids over there, you know, they didn't, they don't have anything. Sure. And, you know, we, we were never supposed to do it, but these kids, every time we'd pull into the village, 50, a hundred kids and it would be like a parade. Oh my gosh. And, and you know, it, that was our way of kind of feeling good about ourselves. In such a horrible area of, of people that are poor, they don't have anything. Um, back home, uh, again, there were so many programs, you know, my wife took advantage of, they would do stuff at the Mall of America. They would, they, you know, sleep with the fish. Um, they would do stuff in the summer at, at camp. That's a different thing. Sleeping with the Fishes, that's, no, it's like a sleepover at the Mall of America. Yeah, you would. Yeah. But, um. There, there's just so many, um, things, you know, um, people would come cut our grass, you know, so, so you feel appreciated? You know, I did. And, and I think my, my wife did, and my kids did. We had such a good support staff though, too, and so we were always blessed. I, I never worried about my family. Okay. You know, I, I never worried back home because, go ahead. No, and that's just me saying I'm gonna talk after you. Go ahead. Oh, I'm sorry. I don't know the, yeah, we give each other the finger, but it's real kind. I, I was blessed. I didn't, um, I could be over there doing my job and, and know that my family was always taken care of, you know, and That's nice to know. Yeah. You know, go ahead. So, so I thank you. So I, I just have one question then for you, and that is what? If you were to tell the five to seven people that listen to this podcast, that's a dirty lie. Okay. Alright. 10, 10 people listen to the podcast. If you were to sort of suggest to them, guide them, or on some way of showing their kindness beyond the thank you for your service, what would you, what would you say? What would you what? What do you think is. Appreciated. Yeah. What's, what's appreciated? I know you always make fun of me'cause I get a free soda when I'm in uniform at holiday. I mean, but, but honestly, uh, and if you talk to most soldiers, they just like the Thank you. They just, do they? Yeah. I wondered, I wondered if it, they hear it so often. Maybe it becomes, uh, I mean, who doesn't like a Thank you. That's nice to know. Maybe if it's delivered in a genuine way too, right? Instead of just like, thank you for your service, like, holding someone in the door. Like, but you know, something real genuine. I mean, it, it gets awkward, you know? Um, you know, thank you for your support is what we, I always come back with Oh yeah. But soldiers like that. Soldiers. Soldiers. Like, thank you. That's it. They don't need, I mean, we get free meals on Veterans Day and we get 10% off it here. And let's say, let's say you're at the donut shop and John Schitz is in front of you. Yeah. Uh, or it notices you guys are gonna go for the same last fritter. Is that the one you like? John, your favorite one? What would be expected? I thought situation, plain white, white cake donut. He does. I just like the white frosted donut. So what would, what would I do? Well, I would honestly, yeah. What would you do? Here's what I would do. If you saw, if there's a, if Mark is behind me, he's, mark is in military, three up and three down. Oh, I'm, I'm, you know, I'm paying attention. Yeah. You know, I would probably. Just because I have to do this, I'd say, you know, I don't wanna start something here, so why don't you tell me what donut you want so I don't take the last one of that. Wouldn't you just maybe buy him a donut? John? You know what if, if, because it depends on the situation, you know? I'd like to think that I would, but I probably would be more, what if he says, concerned about, I want that something. Pithy. What if he want? What if he wants the same one you have? I would let let him have it. I would let him have it and then I would pout. Why wouldn't you split it? I would go out my car. We would split it. You know what? That's a really nice idea. That is so nice. No, but I, uh, I would be, all kidding aside, I would be more concerned about wanting to connect with this person and say something funny and. And I wouldn't even think about buying him a donut. That's just, you'd wanna make him laugh. That's a wonderful gift. That's that. Thank you Jeff. Yeah. Thank you for that. Yeah. You know what? Gift, A gift you're getting promoted senior engineer right here. But I will tell you, and it's something we think about a lot when we're in uniform and we get thank yous and people buy us lunch and, but um, one thing we always tell people, especially where I work, if there's police officers, firefighters, you know, I mean. I've, I've been deployed three times, but I work an office job the last five years and I'm always ready to go. And, you know, if the call comes, I go, but I look at those people, you know, they're doing it every day mm-hmm. Every day of the week, you know, and, and so we always ask people to please take care of our, our law enforcement, paramedics and firefighters'cause. They, they're all beating the, beating the streets every day. Well, there's a whole bunch of questions that I would love to ask, but I'm not gonna ask'em while we're playing record. So at this point, I just want to thank you for coming in studio, which is super cool. Yeah, this is great. What a great treat that to, to hear you tell the stories and give us, uh, your experience. We really appreciate it. Thanks for bringing'em in. Michael. And there aren't, or Uncle Mike, there aren't many guys that do 35 years in the military. They get their 20 or whatever the number is, and it's like, okay, I'm moving on to my next thing. That is a special relationship that you have with your country that is just, I admire it beyond belief. I mean, and the fact that you're one of eight, you know, I didn't realize, you know, that's pretty cool. Like royalty in here. Come on. No, and and it's nice for you to give us a perspective.'cause you always wonder as a civilian what you're thinking. So thank you for. Sharing your stories on this podcast. It was my pleasure. Add a ball. This is great. Well, we're gonna hang up now. We're gonna say with that, off we go. Hit the tune. Oh, God's worth a thousand to one. Easy. What do we get? We get to go home. Oh boy. Little Han Zimmer. Music there to get your attention. It's actually 13 hours in Benghazi. Of course it was. That was John Krasinski.