Episode 85. Building Community (ft. Scott Glendenning & Steve Kaarbo)

Where do we begin the pursuit of authentic human connection and giving back to the greater good? 

“We find commonality…and connection comes out of that commonality.”

Scott Glendenning and Steve Kaarbo share how their non-profit is bringing the Duluth community together by giving back to families and supporting various health initiatives. 

“Some people might say, in the grand scheme of things, maybe a thousand dollars doesn't make a big difference. But it makes a very big difference to the individuals and families receiving it.”

What started as a front yard birthday party has morphed into “Excalibur Con,” a pop culture & tabletop gaming event happening August 16-17 at the DECC in Duluth (more info: MNSWCA.org) 

Also, join us in support of the Masonic Children’s Clinic in Duluth on August 21: masonicchildrensclinic.org 

Transcript

0:00

We often get asked, what is Freemasonry all about? What do you guys do? What are you striving for? the Masonic journey is about authentic friendship, personal growth, and building community. Today we're joined by Steve Carbo and Scott Glendenning of Duluth, and we are going to look a little more closely into the opportunity for building community. Steve Carbo was born and raised in Duluth, Minnesota, went to East High School UMD and UW Superior for grad school. Mental health therapist at Northwood Children's Services. Scott Glendenning, an old friend of mine, born and raised in Duluth, attended UND that would be North Dakota, earning a BS in criminal justice. Went back to Duluth after college. You were a counselor for nine years. That's when you met Steve. We're gonna talk about that Back to school again. For a degree in civil engineering technology. You were in aerospace manufacturing for 18 years. Scott was raised as a master Mason in January, 2010, and a past master of Glenn Avon, number 3 0 6 in 2014, spending time with your wife and kids and working with Steve, raising money for charity. In your free time, gentlemen, welcome. Thank you. It's good. Thanks for having us. So as we look at the opportunities for building community, you guys are onto something very special in Duluth with Excalibur Con. Excalibur Con is a pop culture and tabletop gaming event held by your nonprofit organization at the deck in Duluth. It is a celebration of all nerdy genres from sci-fi fantasy and comics to tabletop gaming, anime, video games and nostalgia. Your nonprofits MNS wca.org. It was created to bring the community together in this celebration while giving back to family and mental health initiatives. Let's back up a little bit. So this nonprofit started Steve and basically in your front yard with a handful of people. tell us the story. Yeah. Uh, it really grew out of my just general love for nerdy things. Um, and when I was planning my birthday a couple years ago, I talked to some of my friends and my son about having basically a little convention in my front yard. Grew into a little bit bigger than we anticipated and 80 people showed up into my front yard, which isn't that large to begin with. That's a pretty good size for a just general party though. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Probably only ever had like four or five people at a birthday before this. Um, but yeah, so we decided to kind of just build out kind of a carnival convention atmosphere. my neighbors let us use their kind of part of their yard as well. We set up little games for kids of all ages to play. Um, we had, uh, some artists donate some things. We had local. Collectors donate a lot of Star Wars toys and things that we could give away, and everybody came, had fun, had some food to eat, had a good time. And part of what I wanted to do was give back to the community. And one of the things that I've learned at other conventions that I've gone to is, is the fan area, is the family area, and they're always giving back. In some way, whether it's to their local initiatives or national in initiatives to support and often support of families and kids. So we decided to take donations and then have some silent auctions to give away, what we brought in. And we ended up bringing in over$1,100 just in that birthday party event in the front yard that we then donated to the pediatric oncology Treasure Chest Foundation. random spontaneous party, turning over$1,100 to a, a organization. That's pretty huge. Yeah. Yeah. It was really neat to be able to then tell everybody, Hey, you know what? This stuff really matters because the treasure chest literally buys toys for kids that are in the hospital that can't really play with their toys. Yeah. Tell us more about that. So the, Recipient of that, that donation at the time, and how it's grown from there? Yeah, so the Pediatric Oncology Treasure Chest Foundation is, uh, kind of, it's, it's regional, but I think it might also be national. Uh, we're focused on regional. Our local, center would be in Rochester. The, um. The clinic down there. Uh, so kids that are going there for various treatments, for various cancers, have the opportunity to pick games, toys, things that might make them feel more comfortable and more like at home while they're maybe there for extended amount of time in the hospital. So all of the money goes directly to buying the toys and the games and the things that, that kids enjoy. we gave that money to them. Uh, they were very, very grateful. And some people might say, like, in the grand scheme of things, well, well, maybe a thousand dollars doesn't make a big difference. But it makes a very, very big difference to the individuals and the families receiving it. You are a mental health therapist at Northwood Children's Services, so clearly this is of both professional and personal interest to you. Yeah. kind of, you know, I think back on my life and at this point I'm 50 years old, so I'm not much of a kid anymore, but I kind of think that I've always been. Kid like in many ways. Um, I've worked at Northwood now for 27 years, and I don't think I've ever really grown up. I like working in a place where you can play basketball or go to Wisconsin Dells or play video games, uh, with kids. Um, and in my current practice, uh, as a therapist, I primarily work with kids and adolescents and it's not uncommon to have kids come in and. Play Uno or draw comic book characters or get out a deck of Magic the gathering and have one of them teach me how to play something because I don't know how to play that. Um, so I, I think that that, that building community through fun and activities like that is very much what I enjoy. And then that kind of spreads into the other things that I do, whether it's my My charity work, or just my personal, uh, life. Uh, I have kids of my own. I have a grandchild. Uh, the neighborhood kids, I love hanging out with them too. So just anything that helps me feel like a kid. I enjoy doing that. And that then goes over into my, into my profession as a, as a therapist. And you worked with Scott, at what point in your careers? I started working with, uh, Steve. I had been working at Northwood Beck. I started just after college in 1991, and Steve started and I actually trained Steve in at, The team that we had worked with, and I had worked there a couple more years and then I ended up going back to school and left there. But, uh, and I left Steve behind, But we'd remained friends throughout the years and we've played, you know, fantasy football together, we've always maintained contact. So, so in maintaining that contact when M-N-S-W-C-A was coming to fruition. What was the catalyst for you guys to collaborate on this? Yeah, some of it really grew kind of out of that party. so the, my nerd fandom of choice is Star Wars, uh, has been. As long as I can remember. and Scott likes Star Wars too. So we had this party very much focused on Star Wars and, and Scott and his family came and, and had a great time and we just kind of started talking about it and thinking like, you know, something could grow out of this. It could be a little bit bigger. Scott is pretty good about, um, being pragmatic and saying, well, the, uh, the things that need to line up are these things. And he's really good about letting me know those things. And, Then I can go along with it. And he keeps me in line in that way. So like, as we're building this nonprofit, I'm like, we need people that'll keep us in line and help with the details. And Scott would be an ideal person for that. So asked him if he wants to come along for the ride. And, and he, he jumped on. Jumped on immediately. So you guys were together, Steve, at your birthday party, front yard and decide. This could become something larger. Last year you did the first of what you call the Excalibur Con, and you're coming up obviously on the second one, which is going to be August 16th and 17th. This event promoting mental health wellness in children and families through sci-fi fantasies. You call it nerd culture fandoms at the deck in Duluth. How did you get this from the front yard party to the first version of this last year? And what was the first one like? so after Steve, uh, had his birthday party. Uh, we were developing another artist show, uh, to raise money for charity called The Frozen Force. since the frozen force, we had that and we raised money there and we were able to merge with a, a gaming community, that was around town because they wanted to have a, a convention. And through this merger got to be this larger convention, which was originally called Tib Gun, Excalibur Con. and so that's how it all came together. It was a, it was a collaboration with a bunch of other businesses within the area, gaming businesses who wanted to have a, a, a convention. And that convention, uh, they were struggling a little bit, To get it going. Uh, but since we had already had a smaller convention, uh, we had some of the infrastructure and so that merger then, uh, allowed us to grow even larger. And, uh, rent deck, uh, space at the deck. Everybody knows the deck. What a great space to be in. For what are you anticipating for attendance now, coming up in a couple weeks as we're recording this in late July and your event's gonna be August 16th and 17th. Yeah. if we kind of judge the growth of Excon from previous events that we have had, um, the interest, the excitement has grown exponentially. last year through the door, we had about 2,500 people, um, with our attendees, our, our volunteers, all of the people involved with the event. This year we're anticipating, somewhere in the range of maybe 3,500 to 4,000. Um, but given the excitement, given just the kind of draw that this type of community. As in the Duluth, north Shore, Northern Wisconsin area, we think it could be even bigger. there just is a desire to connect on some level, and I think as we come out of the post COVID era, even more so, people want that connection. And one of the ways to connect is through these. Again, nerd culture fandoms and, um, you even see it kind of across, um, other areas too, in ways that you wouldn't even imagine from sports stars to MMA fighters to boxers. They have magic cards or Pokemon cards, or they like Star Wars or Star Trek. it's just really crossed over a lot of different. Kind of walks of life where as probably when all of us were young, if you were a nerd, you kind of got maybe ostracized or maybe even beat up a little bit. Yeah. Um, and now it's kind of become the opposite and it's a little bit more embraced. So now that we have these opportunities to come back as a big group post COVID, I think that it just opens up an opportunity that even more community can grow out of this. So you have the common interest of the genres of different movies, cards, fantasy comics, tabletop gaming. But it struck me that your nonprofit was created to bring the community together and confront some mental health initiatives. Now Steve, you are a mental health therapist. We read a lot about this in the headlines with the friendship recession, the loneliness, the isolation, but you're on the front lines of this. How, how big of an issue is this in the world today? I, I don't think it's overstating it to say that it's a crisis or an epidemic. Um, we talked for years and years and years about the, the, the COVID pandemic. We've all lived through it. We've all experienced that. Now on the other side of it, there's kind of that vacuum and it's like, oh, we're back to normal, but we really aren't. You know that, that word normal is somewhat charged, but we're not back to where we were pre COVID. There's, I, I don't know that we can look around us and say, well, we're back to that. Um, in terms of connection with other people, just the kind of the epidemic of loneliness, of isolation, of the amount of people that are anxious and depressed and have avoided social interaction for a long time. We haven't gotten back to a time where we can do that. And as a, a children's mental health therapist primarily, we see that just playing out in our schools, in our, um, social activities teams, boys and girls clubs, those types of places are seeing just a challenge in working with, with kiddos because they haven't had that opportunity to learn to get along with one another. Now. We can learn and we can get back to that. And I think opportunities like this is, is a way that we can get back to that in a, in a healthy way. Sometimes it seems like we equate connection, but in a virtual sense. I have so many friends on Facebook or. The account has X number of followers, but that really is Scott a hollow connection. It's not authentic. It's not person to person. No, it's, it's, it's not real. And conventions like this allow people to interact face-to-face, allow people to. Be themselves, um, you know, dress up, be or be somebody else, uh, cosplay contests. And, and just coming to a convention and dressing up like a superhero allows you to be out of that regular everyday life that may not be, uh, the best for you. Uh, but here you're accepted. And you guys are also actively supporting the Masonic Children's Clinic for Communication Disorders in Duluth. You'd mentioned the Pediatric Oncology Treasure Chest Foundation, and then as well as the M ns wca.org Mental Wellness Scholarship Fund, in addition to your event on August 16th and 17th in Duluth. We also encourage our listeners to attend our Duluth Clinic Gala on Thursday, August 21st at the Gray Salon Ballroom. when we wrap up today, we'll share where to go to find some additional information on both of these events. Is there room for someone at this who may not be fully into, say, the sci-fi, the the, the comics, or if, if Scott, maybe Scott, are you gonna wear your Superman outfits or is it, is it, is it for everybody? Is this really a hard for hardcore or is it even for someone that may, Hey, I saw Star Wars in the theater and still like some of those. Steve, Steve is the resident nerd of our group. I, I, you say that with the est though, right? Oh, with all the love I can. Okay, good. It's, uh, I don't know, a lot of this stuff. I enjoy Star Wars. I saw Star Wars in the theater and when it came out, so did I. That makes us old, doesn't it? Right. but no, I, I don't know half of the things that, that they talk about. However, seeing the enjoyment that people get out of it and the different ranges that, that the people, different interests that people have when they come in, they all come together and it doesn't matter if they have the same interest, they all are there because they're interested in that community into sharing, into being something into. Just being part of something. And these, and it doesn't matter, it crosses all boundaries, all genres, all ages. Uh, they just get to come in and, and just get outta reality for a little bit. And, and so it brings everybody together. Even if you don't dress up, even if you don't know much of this or that, I don't. but everybody's welcome and, and the feedback we get is. We see people smiling everywhere. Yeah. When they come in, when they leave, when they're there. The excitement from everybody sounds like a lot of fun. And I would imagine even word of mouth from last year to this year. You'll easily hit that 4,000 attendee mark I think. I think so. It's been, uh, quite a, quite a journey over the last, um, probably nine months, uh, since we started really in earnest planning this year. Last year we had about six months to plan and we're able to pull off a really great event this year. Obviously, we knew we were gonna do it again, so we had more time. But in earnest in terms of promoting and talking and getting the word out there. I, I've been to events in, um, Sioux Falls in Minneapolis and Plymouth, as far as Nashville, and the interest is, is everywhere. When we say, I. There's an event like this in Duluth, Minnesota. People are like, where can I sign up? one of the things that just really sets it apart is Duluth, number one is a beautiful community. the convention center is literally a block away from the largest lake. Like you could just go out there and enjoy your time there and then go back into the convention. Like you can't do that when you go to Chicago or New York Comic-Con or down to Kansas City, or. Any, any other venue, you're not going to have that spectacular experience that Northern Minnesota is gonna give you. And when I go around and talk to vendors and artists and celebrities, as soon as I mentioned Duluth, their eyes perk up and they're like, really? You have this there? And just the overwhelming response we've gotten from people that say like, oh, I'm gonna be there. Oh, I've heard of that. Yep. We'll plan on being there. And we're like, and this is year two, right? And the first year with the new name. So we're like, uh, you know it. How do you know it? Yeah.'cause it hasn't happened yet. And they're like, no, we're just excited for it. Same thing with vendors and artists and celebrities. I mean, we get two to three emails a week of someone saying, Hey, we want be there. Unfortunately, in certain ways, we have to say, oh, you can't. We don't have enough room for you to come sell this year, but you can come hang out with us. Come on up and next year come see us. Sounds like great potential to keep growing this in the years ahead too. Yeah, absolutely. We, as, as Scott often says, he wants this to be the, uh, the nerd Bentleyville. So if you're familiar with Northern Minnesota, Bentleyville was a, a, a, like a Christmas light show mm-hmm. That was just in somebody's yard basically. And people would drive by and see it, and it grew and grew and grew. And now it's basically a foundation of. The Canal Park area in Duluth and people come from all over the place just to see this light show. It's, I mean, it's fantastic. It's great. But it started in somebody's yard just like us. So as Scott often says, like this is gonna be the summer bentleyville in Duluth, Minnesota. Scott, you worked as a counselor for nine years. Steve, you're obviously a therapist. Beyond this event in big Picture, how do you suggest we continue addressing that human to human connection? Necessity. Is it as simple as just put the device away and. Go hang with some friends. We're so attached to our devices in living, in all of our isolation in this digital world right now. How do we, how do we address more balance? that's the trick is getting people to put their phones down. Their telephones aren't the reality, and the reality is other people. And we need to have those connections and those face-to-face interactions with people in order to, um, progress as, as a society. And a lot of times with the, uh, our telephones, we have access to information throughout the world at our fingertips, however. That doesn't allow us to develop those skills in, in, um, interacting with others. It doesn't allow us to be part of a community. It doesn't allow us to feel like we're wanted or needed. And so getting out to, uh, conventions, getting, giving people a reason to, to put their phone down and to come out and, and be with other people is really important in, in just. In general for our, uh, our wellbeing in ourselves. Yeah. I very much agree that it's, it's not just about put a device down. Um, it's utilizing the, the resources in your community around you and actually being a part of something. And, and that could be a convention with 4,000 people or it could be a local shop where you. Get together with a smaller group of friends to play a game or drink some coffee and, and, and reminisce about the, the things that you did experience at the convention. So it's, it's not as much, just this convention is the only community opportunity. This is potentially like a, a jumping off point to connect with. People that you might not have connected with before or maybe, you know, I mean like, I didn't know you liked Star Wars or Magic or Anime or Yugi, and you find out you do, and then that creates a friendship. So if we think back to when we were younger on the playground, uh, like how do you connect with somebody? Like, uh, you just start playing dodge ball or you're on the jungle gym at the same time. You're like, oh, you like this? Yes, I do like this. I can remember to this day. Going into junior high school with, uh, a friend who, uh, I had ne I had never met this person before and he came up to me and said, I heard you like baseball cards number. Like, how did you hear that? Right. But, but yes, I do like baseball cards. And he became one of my best friends. similarly, like a friend of mine was on the same little league, uh. Not the same team, but in the same little league. Well, there is a commonality that we have with baseball and then he had a field behind his house and we would just play whiffle ball all the time. So you look for those commonalities. Uh, Scott, when I met him, he. He liked nascar, he liked football, he liked other things that I liked. So I, Scott and I have been in a fantasy football league for like 26 years together and we've gone to NASCAR races together. So we find that commonality and connection comes out of that commonality. And if we don't ever have those interactions with others, we're not gonna find out those commonalities We frequently address on this podcast technology, ai. Some of the apps out there that are a virtual friend or assistant as one of them is billed as, sometimes our discussions get misconstrued as advocating that, well, we should just. Put the phone down forever. We can't do that. Technology's not going anywhere, but it's an ongoing question of how to achieve balance. So many young people, especially that may have a million followers on TikTok or Instagram, are extremely lonely, very isolated. The balance of maintaining that human to human connection is so crucial right now. Are we at a tipping point with that? I personally believe so. Um, I, I, I believe technology has a, a place in our world. I, I'm sure eons ago people when you started using a certain tool or electricity or, or certain things are introduced. There's, there's pushback. I view the technology that we have really. Really as a tool. So our computers, our phones, even, even ai, and that's a whole nother discussion. But my hammer at home is a tool that I use, but it's not my friend. I, I, I'm gonna put that hammer away and set it down, and then I'm gonna go spend time with my family, or I'm going to engage in, in the hobbies I enjoy or give back to my community in some way. That hammer will help me, it'll help me along the way. Just like my phone will just like. AI will in some respects or anything, electricity or your car or any of those things, but they don't become the relationship that I have. The relationship that I have is with my friend Scott, or with my family or children or grandchildren or community members at a convention. Those, those are the connections. And then these other things that we have are the tools to help build those connections in other ways. And we are really grateful for your support of the Masonic Children's Clinic for Communication Disorders in Duluth. I'm excited to see you guys and many other friends at that gala that is going to be on August 21st at the Gray Salon Ballroom. For our listeners who are interested, you can go to masonic children's clinic.org for more info on that. Where should people go to find you? For more info on Excalibur Con and to attend and participate, the easiest way is to check our website, mn s wca.org, just like our name. we also have our links on our social media for Excalibur Con on Facebook and Instagram. and you'll find updates, uh, ticketing, the celebrity guests that are gonna come, the games that you can play, and the other kind of. Non-game things that you can do. As I've said, like this is a family oriented activity and there's gonna be a lot of family oriented events going on throughout the whole weekend. one of the big things we do is raise money for the communication clinic that, as we started the nonprofit, we wanted to keep some charities and local charities. And When Steve, uh, was looking for, a charitable organization to give money to, as we were developing the, the nonprofit, I said, I know just the place. And having been a Mason. We have raised the, Glen Aven had raised a number of dollars for the communication clinic and uh, so I said to Steve, Hey, I know exactly where we can, we can, uh, raise what we can raise money for, and that's the clinic. I told him to get ahold of Nikki down at the clinic, and he did. And since that time, uh, the whole board of directors has been down and toured the clinic. And we, we love the organization, we love the clinic. The staff there is phenomenal. And, uh, it's one of the main sources of why we do this. why we raise money is to give back to the community and the clinic is a wonderful organization to do that. So many opportunities to, in fact, be building community and really appreciate both of your efforts on all of the things we've discussed today. August 16th and 17th, Excalibur Con in Duluth. Go to MNS wca.org and also Duluth Clinic Gala for the Masonic Children's Clinic for Communication Disorders will be on August 21st. Again, go to masonic children's clinic.org for more info. Scott Glendenning. Steve Carbo, thanks for being in studio today. Thanks for having us. Thank you. This has been another episode of Minnesota Masonic Histories and Mysteries.