Episode 138: Charity Isn’t Loud (ft. Todd Mayer)

Why is charitable giving so important to us? Giving back and serving those in need is an essential part of putting the principles of Freemasonry into action.

This week, we sit down with Todd Mayer to explore the pursuit of something greater than yourself—and the importance of stepping away from our electronic devices to do real things in the world with real people.

“Charity is a tangible idea...it’s a tangible way for you to tell other people why you do what you do.”

We also discuss how service and charitable events can bring a lodge together, create a meaningful identity, and make a real difference in the community.

“The lodges that have successful events know how it’s unified their lodge, and how it’s been a signature to their lodge, and how it’s helped out their community.”

Todd Mayer is a member of Anoka Lodge No. 30 and currently serves as District Deputy for the Grand Lodge of Minnesota. 

Transcript

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We talk a lot about charity, from both a brotherhood sense and the giving aspect. Why is it important? I think that charity is just a way, to give back, uh, to pay it forward. I think a lot of, I think a lot of what we do as, as Masons and people have been affected by people who've given either charity, uh, charitable or of their time and energy, and to give back to that organization I think is important to a lot of people, uh, myself included. I kinda what drives me in a lot of the things I do, that, uh, somebody has taken the time to volunteer for an or- organization or, taken the degrees at a, at a, at an organization, at a lodge, and then, uh, felt so, I would say, inspired that, uh, I, I need to give back to that organization because of what I've gotten or what my, my children have gotten, so. Would you say there's a bit of inspiration that one could draw from being a member of an organization, or that supports certain acts of service to society, that over time leads one to think, "You know what? I want to support this in a more meaningful way," whatever that looks like? I think so. I, I look back when I was, uh, when I was young, and, uh, I was, I was in the Cub Scouts, I was in the Boy Scouts, and my parents were very much involved in that. Seeing how they were involved, um, financially, but mainly on a hands- hands-on situation really inspired me going forward that, I can give back in a, in a, in a meaningful way to these organizations that have helped me throughout the, uh, throughout my life. Your parents were heavily involved? Yes, yes. Mom was a den mother, uh, Dad was a Cub Master, and then going through and seeing not only my parents, but people who, uh, had kids outside of the program that had been long gone, but were still giving back, and seeing them, that how important it was for them to do, helping out these kids, uh, really inspired me going forward. Todd Mayer, you were born and raised in Minneapolis, moved to Richfield your freshman year of high school, where you graduated. Attended and graduated from Gustavus Adolphus with a BA in chemistry. See, the beauty of sitting down and having a conversation, I've known you for years, no idea about the chemistry. Yeah. I, I, I always liked... I had the, uh, the stereotypical chemistry set. Uh, loved, uh, mixing things up together, making those crystals that you got in the, uh, got in the chemistry sets. Mm-hmm. I think I was, uh, a little too late to the game where they used to have the, uh, you know, the, the uranium or those, those- My. Yeah It, it just, it was just beyond that. My next question was, any close calls in the basement? Any- No, no. But I always enjoyed, uh, that, that chemistry, making things. went to high school, took the AP classes, and then, uh, never really wavered when I went to college. Uh, I was involved in the labs, I did a lot of research. Yeah, no real, no real, uh, close calls there either. But, uh, enjoyed some of the classes, and I will, uh, probably be one of the many people who absolutely hated, uh, organic chemistry. It was a, uh, gatekeep for, uh, all the pre-med, pre- Oh everything. So they just kinda felt that they, we had to make this tough for everybody. Uh, but then I got to physical chemistry, which was more math-based, and, uh, really enjoyed that. It sounds terrible to me, but I was never a math guy. I l- liked writing and the composition aspect of... But the math is never my thing. Yeah. I've been, uh, with various people, uh, moving out and, uh, downsizing. I've been, uh, going through things, and I came across two big boxes of chemistry notebooks, chemistry textbooks, and I said, "I'm never gonna go back." And, uh, I looked at a couple research papers that I had written and it, it's, it's been a lot of years, and I just kinda looked at it and went, "I don't know what this is anymore." But my... I say my, my one claim to fame going to Gustavus, I was president of the chemistry club, and we have, uh, the Nobel Conference every single year, where we have different speakers, um, either Nobel Prize laureates or soon-to-be. And, uh, we had, uh, it was a chemistry, uh, based theme that year. A lot of times it's psychology, it's different things. This year it was chemistry. And we had, a gentleman, Harold Kroto, who was... who discovered buckminsterfullerene. You may not know what that is. It's a, uh, it's a molecule of 60 carbons together that kinda looks like a soccer ball. Uh, back in the '80s, there used to be, uh, uh, buckministerene, uh, houses that were kinda like domes. And, uh, he was the, the guy who, uh, uh, discovered it. And so, you know, we're, you know, hosting him and brought him back to, uh, his, his, uh, his room and- So would you guys like to come in?" Okay, well, you know, we took him to the, you know, dinner and went afterwards and, uh, I, I have the distinct, uh, I guess, honor that, uh, we stayed up all night with him and, uh, I can say that I had a really good time that night with a, uh, Nobel Prize winner. So that was, uh, that was really fun. And just knowing that this guy is a luminary of the field and just- Yeah he's just a regular guy who wants to kinda hang out and- Great memory. Yeah. Yeah. You opted to depart the lab to be a progeny development engineer for your daughters Audrey and Molly. You know, I heard you mention that years ago, It didn't click. Like, in my mind I thought, "What is a progeny development eng-" It's a dad. It's a full-time dad. Yeah, and that was when the, uh, the, they used to have the, uh, uh, home divas that Martha Stewart was having, the stay-at-home moms, that they were rebranding themselves. Um, I spent about six, six to eight years in the lab. I did, uh, I did research for a pharmaceutical company right out of college. A very interesting way in knowing how the process works for getting drugs to market, and, uh, still sticks with me these days when they talk about some of these new drugs and how long they take- Yeah and knowing the process. And then, uh, when, uh, we were pregnant with our first, I said I, I kinda wanted to try this out. And, uh, within my two weeks, uh, after she was born, and said I'll give it a, give it a try. And then, uh, never, never really looked back. So, but the, the progeny development engineer, I, I've since added on to, you know, senior, uh, senior executive, uh, added on to. 'Cause, you know, with social media, you've gotta add something to your titles- Yeah. Uh-huh every once in a while, and I think now that my o- uh, youngest is, uh, graduated, I might put emeritus. So. That's a great idea, and I cannot... I saw you guys about a week ago. Cannot believe Molly's graduated high school. You've been married to Laura almost 30 years. Maybe it comes up too often on the podcast. Where does the time go? You're just... You joined Anoka Lodge in 2006. Mm-hmm. And you're 20 years now It's amazing. It, it is. I, I mean, we knew each other in high school. Uh, we were friends in high school, just friends, and then, uh, kinda hung out a bit in, uh... She went to the U of M, I went to Gustavus, and then we kinda still kinda hung out on the, in the summertime, and, uh, kinda took the leap to, uh, start dating. And it worked out real well, but every once in a while you just kinda go, "You know, it's been 20 years," or, you know, uh, "It's been 30 years," and yeah. And then, like I say, when your youngest graduates, and all the guys at lodge go, "I remember when you were-" Yeah you know, just junior steward, and you were coming in to cook, and she was in that car seat. So it's- How does it feel to have now your second, your youngest, graduated, off to college next year? Is that a weird transition now on the home front? It is. It will be more so when she leaves in the fall. But I think what I f- what, what I found last week when she graduated was a sense of finality. When my, my oldest, Audrey, graduated from Andover- She was graduating and Molly was coming in as a freshman. So we were still in the school system. last week when we... After she graduated, I took some joy, and apparently I wasn't the only one, that, uh, I was unsubscribing from all those, those emails from schools. Uh, the apps that you have to be... I just deleted it off my phone, and there was just this, this sense of just relief that I don't have to worry about that anymore. I said, "I'm a citizen of the city now. I'm not..." You know, if I wanna go to a concert, I can. But, uh, when we left for her last concert, I kind of had a sense, and I kinda looked at my wife and I said, "This is the last time we're gonna be leaving this high school." And she says, "Well, maybe we'll come back for a concert or two." And I said, "I, I honestly don't think we're going to 'cause we've, we've put in our time." But, uh- Yeah. Might be a while. Yeah. Gonna share an article that was written by Steve Magness. He shared that they just ran a 25-year experiment on what happens when a society swaps meaning for money. We've declined in every value that gave us something bigger than ourselves to belong to, and as he writes, we are living with the consequences. Now, this data came from a Wall Street Journal poll. The share of Americans calling these values very important, 1998 versus 2023. Patriotism, 1998 was 70%, 2023, 38%. Religion went 62 to 39%. Having children, 59 to 30%. Community involvement, and this, this one really hit hard. Community involvement went 47% in 1998 to 27% in 2023. the only one that went up? Money. 31% to 43 He goes on to write, "To look at what the four collapsing values have in common. Whatever you think of flags, pews, diapers, or neighborhood meetings, they all did the same job. They gave us something bigger than ourselves to belong to, a purpose beyond just feeling more comfortable. It gave us people to invest in. In other words, they provided the exact psychological needs humans run on. We stopped valuing everything that provides meaning we obsess over whatever we can measure. As we moved from a local world where mattering in your neighborhood brought you status and prestige to one where you're competing against everyone in the world, we defaulted to the one value that we can see and measure: money. It's the cult of optimization at full scale. We converted living life into a job scored by an external measure. "The cruel part," he goes on to write, "we double down on the one value with the best evidence that it doesn't deliver So is it any wonder why we have a loneliness epidemic, a youth mental health crisis, and record anxiety and burnout? We primed ourselves for fragility, for having an overreactive alarm that freaks out at any hint that we're not good enough or don't measure up. The building blocks of motivation and resilience are literally a sense of belonging, a cause greater than yourself, a deep sense of meaning. No matter how tough we think we are, the external can never fill that void. It will always leave us wanting. He closed it out by saying this isn't a sermon. The point isn't to tell you to be religious or to have kids. It's that all of those values point to something much bigger, a deep sense of meaning and community. Our brains were built for mattering locally, for being seen by people we actually know in real life, not for deriving a sense of mattering or competence from the number of likes we get on a post. And we try to fill that void with the candy version, the appearances of status and success with no actual nutritional value underneath it. He implores the reader to find a purpose bigger than yourself. Be a hero in your neighborhood, not online. Do real things in the real world with real people. Pursue mastery and crafts you enjoy for their own sake, not because it's your job, but invest in people who can't pay you back. Matter to people who actually know you exist Wow. That, that's a lot to, uh, to unpack. A- as I was listening to that, I, I think we, we've shunned the, the esoteric, the, the bigger picture I, I realize that I'm getting at that age where, you know, back in my day and, uh, but I think now that esoteric, that, that, that, that cause bigger than yourself is so much more put to the wayside because you're able to get that like. You're able to have-- We've got this dopamine hit thing on our, on our computer, on our, on our phone, and you can say, "Hey, look how many people liked this." I'm guilty of it as well. I mean, I use it to kind of brag on my kids, but, uh I think looking at, at those bigger pictures, bigger picture items and, and whether it's patriotism, whether it's, you know, religion and, and it's whatever, whatever everybody believes is their own is, is fine. But it's hard to brag on that, um, especially now in this climate where, we've got the 250th anniversary of our country coming up and it's dividing people. I have a set of, uh, four, uh, glasses from the, from the 200th, and I, I really wasn't around for that. But everything you see was everybody came together for that 200th anniversary, that America was 200 years old, and there's that, that pride. And, uh, I- No politics involved. No politics. And un- unfortunately, everything now seems to have that political bent and just to celebrate our country and where we're at. Yeah, we're still a teenager. You know, you go over to Europe and they've got buildings that are, uh, that, that have a shop that's older than our country, and you kinda get humbled by that. But you realize we're still in our, you know, this country's still in our teen years. And to have that... So we're gonna be angsty, we're gonna be rebellious. And to look at, you know- To be a patriot, to, to do religion, it, it's hard. It has work that doesn't have that instant gratification that, you know, posting yourself at the, at the, you know, h- look at this thing I, you know, that I made. I think really- Look at me. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. And we're, and, and we all love get- you know, post a picture of this and get the likes, and hey, people like that comment o- of whatever you did. But to have people be that who they totally are, I think does a disservice to them in the long run. Because again, as, as you said with that loneliness epidemic, if you've got 1,000 friends on, on social media, by definition you shouldn't be lonely. But you are because there's not that, that meat that you might get in your community that, you know, you have a, a gathering at your house and you've got real friends coming over, or you're at your church, or you're going to feed my starving children. You're going to someplace that's tangible and doing something that's tangible and say at the end of this, "Hey, we raised this much food." And I think, um, to that bigger part of charity, I think that gives you that, that dopamine hit, um, in a real sense that I think you don't get on, you know, those virtual. And I think some of that charity also fits into the religious as well as the community. for some reason when I was, uh, going to college, we had a, I had a bunch of friends who were going into the seminary, and one of which is, uh, uh, w- was one of my best friends. And I would talk to him occasionally and, you know, I, I, I'd go to, I'd go to church, um, somewhat religious, but, you know, that's here nor there. What we would talk about, and as I was thinking about this idea of, of charity, was the idea of the tithe. And I've had discussions with some of my friends about that, that that tithe is, you know, 10% of your, uh, of what you've, what you've made, of your crop, of your whatever, and give that to the service of, of God it's, it's an old world, uh, look at how you would, um, give to a, give charitably. And I said, "Well, now," I said, "there's so many other organizations, so many other charities that to look at it in a more broader va- uh, in a broader way of saying, 'I'm gonna give 10%' or whatever number that is. But if you're giving charitably for me, and that's me, I'm not, I'm not a, I'm not a scholar, I'm not a religious, you know, uh, man, but I look at that as part of your tithe. You know, I may give, let's say, 5% to the church, but then I'm giving 5% more to all these other charities that I, that I know of. And, you know, you start thinking about the church and, you know, they've got their building, but then they also give charitably as well. So by me giving, to other charities that we have, I think that, uh, kind of reconciles a little bit with me, um, from a religious standpoint as far as how you're giving, um, to the service of, you know, of God. it's giving back. it's paying it forward. Having an opportunity to be serviceable and giving back to those in need, which is a Masonic tenet of relief, of how are we helping provide a resource for someone who doesn't have what they need? And to your earlier point about the social media connection, it's so ironic. We have 1,000, 2,000 friends or followers on Facebook, TikTok, Instagram, and yet that is not an authentic connection. It's a number That loneliness crisis, the epidemic, the, the friendship recession is all around us, and yet you rarely hear somebody say, "Hey, you know what? I'm lonely." They, they don't come out and say it as much, but what they're pursuing, and we meet a lot of young men and their families that are interested in Freemasonry, they want to do something bigger than themselves. They are dissatisfied with this digital isolation and making that realization all the time. Can I, if I become a Freemason, become that better version of me? the personal growth, friendship that extends beyond just the, the dope of the, the hit of, oh, I got the like, or I have this big number of friends, and the community piece. You know, some days it feels like we are sitting on this precipice of the recipe that the world is craving, is dying for. We-- They want a piece of all three of those things, and the Masonic experience was designed to do just that. Absolutely. I, I see, and, and I, I've read different things about how Masonry is around the world, and that you look at Europe, They write papers. They study the symbols. in Canada and the United States, it's philanthropic. And you see The charities that we have, and I think Masonry gives, a lot of young men the opportunity to give back to their community. I'm the Illustrious Master of Cryptic Masons, and we just did a, uh, Feed My Starving Children, and we had about 10, 10 of the companions out there and just, "Hey, you know what? We're gonna do something just fun, and we're gonna give back to the community and not just sit in the lodge and, uh, have a meeting. Let's get out and do something." How'd that go? It went well. Uh, one of the things that, uh, I had, I kinda found out that for, uh, some of the York Rite bodies, you only have to meet once a quarter. So I said, "Well, why don't we have one that we have a social outing, one that we have a, uh, a service event?" Uh, it kinda goes back to when I was in college, I was in a, uh, service fraternity based on, uh, the Boy Scouts, uh, Alpha Phi Omega, and we would always have a service, you know, it was a service fraternity, so we'd have a service activity, and then we'd have a social thing afterwards. Binding those all together- Kind of gave a lot of people a lot of things that they needed. Maybe they weren't super big into doing a food drive or doing, you know, a blood drive or, you know, raking for, for, you know, some, some older people. But they wanted to hang out afterwards 'cause we were gonna go out, to, you know, go out to the restaurant or go out to the bar afterwards or, you know, get together, you know, and- Hang out a little bit I think that gives that, having all of those opportunities, I look at, I look at our lodge I joined in 2006, and I think in 2008 we started the Bones Brothers, and it was a competitive barbecue team. People were just starting barbecuing, just started smoking. You know, you'd go to any restaurant and all you could eat ribs were all those parboiled. You know, they'd just boil the ribs and slap a little sauce on them. Oh, yeah. Forgot about that. I know. It was ki- it was kind of the dark times. But we would show up and go to, go to these competitions, and we'd do okay, but, you know, it was just fellowship. We'd, uh, you know, get there Friday night, tend to the fires all night, and then, uh, turn in and, you know, maybe win a trophy here, maybe win a little bit of money here. But then, uh, we kinda decided that, well, we're kinda spending the whole weekend, but we're not really doing anything for other people. So we decided to start, uh, turning our events inward and making barbecue for, uh, charitable events. Uh, we've had many partners over the years, whether it's, uh, hippotherapy, uh, for the, uh, food shelf. We've done the, uh, annual Ribs, Ribs Blues at Anoka Lodge for the last, like, 15 years. Forever. Yeah, it's a great event. And that is a huge, uh, fundraiser for the, the food shelf. We, uh, do things with veterans organizations and, uh, we just had a meeting last night and, I said I was gonna be on the, the podcast, and I said, "Out of curiosity," and we kinda have a legacy ti- uh, total, and, uh, probably through barbecue we've raised about $300,000 for different charities- Wow thanks to the matching of Masonic Charities. But I think it's great because it's fun. Uh, we, our, our tagline is beneleve- "Benevolence, brotherhood, and barbecue." So it hits all of those things. You're doing good for people. You're hanging out. I mean, you've been to Ribs, Ribs Blues at some point. You know, it, it's chaos, but some of the times we're just hanging out, waiting for- Mm the smoke to do its thing, and we're just hanging out, BS-ing with each other, having a great time, so. I never, I never miss that event, and it's a favorite in September every fall. Yeah. It's, it's great. Um, like I say, we've got something coming up for the, uh, Hometown Heroes Outdoors that's gonna be out in S- uh, Stillwater. And- Just having a bunch of guys saying, "Hey, let's try this." Um, I remember during, uh, COVID when everybody was locked in their, their, their houses, and it came up in my feed a little while ago, again, props to, to social media for that. But when all of the meat packing plants were shut down, we were getting whole hogs pennies on the dollar. So we would buy them, and we had some friend- some of our guys who hunted, so they knew how to field dress a, a pig, and they were, they were huge because they have a slot limit for how much, when they process them, but they gotta keep grow- they keep growing 'cause they kept feeding them. So we were throwing whole hogs on our smokers. We had two of them at one time with the idea that we were delivering them to people who were basically shut in because of COVID. again, just doing good for other people. And again, we could hang out. We all, we have pictures of us sitting outside with our masks on and- Yeah socially distancing. But I, I think doing those charitable events and some of those charity really gives you meaning and allows you to affect people's lives that you don't get, you know, back to, like say the, the social media, those devices. And it's important for lodges to have something that they're doing to build that community, to have visibility in the community, but can even start small. It doesn't have to be a, a whole hog and, uh, that this is an amazing story, and you guys just gave it away and made a lot of people's days a lot brighter. There are a lot of lodges around us that are thinking that this has to be complicated. if we're gonna do something charity-driven or community, that it's gotta be big, grand, and just massive scale right out of the gate, that's not the case. You start- No with big aspirations, but the key is to stick with it year after year or just keep building on those events, knowing that you're making a difference in, in the community, even if it feels small to start. Yeah. I mean, when you, you go to annual communication and you talk to people and they, they ask about ribs, ribs, and blues, or Star Lodge's, uh, hog roast, or the pasty making that they do up north, that this has been going on for years. and a lot of the, a lot of lodges have this thought, "Well, we gotta be just huge. We've gotta be on par." And when, when asked, I said, "It-- we're Masons, we're builders. If you look at what we did those first couple years, we didn't have the sides. We had, you know... And, and the, the, the turnout wasn't huge, so maybe we did, like, 50 racks of ribs. We do 100 now. You know, for, uh, you know, the hog roast, yeah, I mean, they've been going for 40- It's over, it's, like, 46 years maybe. Forty or something like that. Forty-five? Yeah. But if you look at some of those, it, it, it, it's that first step. And, you know, whether it's a, a golf tournament that, that now is a signature event, you know, maybe that first year it's not the most successful, but you learned things. what can we do better next year? And, and, and evaluating that and not... You're serving a purpose. You know, you're raising money for, you know, a food shelf. Okay, maybe it's not the huge number that you wanted, but you started, and that will engage other people and say, "Hey, how can we make it better next year?" Or, "I'm sorry, it looked like a lot of fun. I want to be there next year and I want to help out." What I've been seeing that is so motivating are lodges that are helping other lodges launch something. And the question isn't how can we immediately fast-track to get to where the lodge that's been doing the 40-year event, to get to that level of success right now. It's what should we do when you were in our position, starting this out or in the first couple of years, a- and helping build that momentum, the slow, sustainable progress, and keeping an eye on the, the impact being made and knowing that this could be a long-term endeavor. Yeah. In, in my travels, I, I have not seen any lodge gatekeep an event. I've seen, uh... I, I remember years ago, Helios does a, uh, a baked potato feed. They're in Cambridge. They're in Cambridge, yes. one of the, uh, brothers up at my lodge, uh, we went up there just to hang out and see their lodge, and we heard about it. And we went up to the feed that year and said, "We'd really like to do that, for us." "Okay, here's what you do. You get 100 pounds of this. You, you, you, you bake them, you throw them in the, uh, you throw them in the cooler to keep them steamed." And especially some of these big events, brothers are just dying to say, "Hey, don't make these mistakes. Hey, you're gonna do something similar to what I dude. Don't do this. Don't do this. Make connections here." they don't wanna see failure. They know that you are trying to help in your community and, and be successful, and they know... The lodges that have these successful events know how it's unified their lodge, and how it's been a signature to their lodge, and how it's helped out their community. the city of Anoka knows when Ribs, Bibs Blues is, and they will not have an event that, that interferes with that. Like it's a conflict. No kidding. So I mean, and they ha- they actually, they have a car show that they actually schedule on the same, because then they come, you know, they come on over. But it's one of those to get out in that community, um, how many lodges in the '90s, 2000s, what's, what's that building? Right. And now, and now people know. Um, I know, like, say, you know, people know what our lodge is. I know we're on the, the ghost tour for, for Anoka, we've had some fun with that over the years. But, uh, it, it gets you out in the community, and it- As much as we know what masonry is, there's so many people who don't. And for a younger Mason who's joining, taking time away from their family, doing degrees, doing... It's a, charity is a tangible idea, an example of what, what are you doing with the Masons? Well, I, I was just, uh, cooking ribs all this weekend. And, oh, really? Did you make any money? And, you know, we do the math every year as far as how much we raise, the Masonic match, and the match that we get for, uh, Second Harvest Food Shelf. Austin Dunn, with their buying power, it's, uh, it's $100,000 for the food, 'cause they, every dollar is about $8 worth of purchasing power. To, to screw around getting there at 4:00 in the morning and cook for 12 hours, and you're exhausted at the end of the day, but say no. Because of what our lodge did, $100,000 is going to the food shelf. Or, you know, a lodge that is making all these, you know, passes up. We, we raise this amount of money for a shelter or, you know, a women's, you know, a women's facility. It, it's a tangible way for you to tell other people why you do what you do, why you're gone every Wednesday, why you're gone every Monday The new generation of young men and their families discovering Freemasonry ask above and beyond everything else, "Will I have the opportunity to give back to the greater good?" The community engagement piece is number one with about 85% of those new faces that we see now. if you were to hear from a lodge that is struggling to get a community engagement event off the ground, and they said, "Can we, can we volunteer a handful of our guys to help you at an event like Ribs, Bibs, and Blues or something that you're doing out wherever it is across the state?" How would you feel about that? Absolutely. more hands make light work, and we've, we've tried our best when we've had people volunteering. Uh, one of our, I guess one of our blind spots is that, you know, you kinda get there. We all know what we're doing. We all know, you know, who's doing this, who's doing that, to engage these people who are showing up, 'cause otherwise, if you don't engage with them, they're gone. Because again, they're not feeling- Yeah you know, they're not feeling en- engaged with. They're not feeling, I won't say respected, but it's just... And, and some of it is just a matter of, okay, we just know what we need to do right away in the morning. But to have- It's kind of a well-oiled machine, right? Everybody knows- kind of places everyone. It does. But to try to get, other people to be there Any lodge, when they're having people come in, making that, that attempt and engaging with, like say, a new brother. You know, maybe you've been doing this same event for the last however many years, but all of a sudden a new guy shows up. Get them involved, because once they get involved they'll s- they'll keep going on. Yeah. But if you kinda put them to the side, going, "Well, no, I got this. I've got this." Yeah, I know how to, I know how to strip ribs. I am the master at g- getting those skins off the back of those ribs. And I could get them all done really quickly, but hey, I'm gonna sit down with this guy, I'm gonna teach him how to do it. Yeah, I'm gonna do three of them to every, his every one, but it's gonna give him s- something to do, and he's now learned that skill. Um- He's got ownership of that aspect. He's learning. Yeah. That's great. Yeah. And, and like, say, we've always had the, uh, you know, anybody can join the organization, you know, if you're brand new, if you've, if you've, if you're a, a seasoned smoker. But if anything, come here and, you know, let's, let's, l- let's teach you how to, you know, how to make ribs. Yeah. How to, how to do a brisket, to how to do, you know, how to make, you know, like say, I, I go back to the pasties thing because, uh, my mom's from up north and they always make pasties. I honestly am not a big fan, but I understand the idea of them. Um, but hey, they all know how to chop those rutabagas, they all know to chop those carrots. But okay, hey, you're new, we're gonna put you on carrot detail. Mm-hmm. And, uh, you know, you may not be as fast as everybody, but you're gonna be there with that ownership. And for those who are a fan of that food option, apparently they do it better than anybody else. Yeah. 10 out of 10. Yeah. I, I, I sacrilege when my mom makes them. I say- "You gonna throw a little cheese in there and..." Oh my God. No, you never put that in there, 'cause that'd be like a Hot Pocket. But, uh, yeah. I can hear Jim Gaffigan singing it right now. Exactly. And I think one of the things that with when, when you talk about the, uh, the, the new Mason, uh, the younger Mason- And when you do in an event is that there's this dichotomy of, the physical work versus the financial work of charity. We talk about charity a lot, and we talk about Minnesota Masonic Charities. We talk about making donations. we talk about, donating to the shrine. Uh, I, I-- you know, one of the, one of the great things about, uh, the Masonic family is there's so many different options to, to donate, uh, financially, whether it's, um, you know, the York Rite with the RARA- Oh, yeah um, the CMRF for, uh, the, uh, Knights Templar Eye Foundation. The shrine has, obviously has the hospital. the Job's Daughters do hearing-impaired kids endowment. And then most of them all have a scholarship component. Um, you and I were talking earlier, uh, my daughter has been lucky enough to, uh, get a lot of scholarships from a, a, a bunch of different lodges around the, uh, around the metro. And I'm, I'm extremely humbled and thankful for the generosity of the lodges around this state the hard work she's done to be at that position. But to give financially, there's also that when you have a new Mason, okay, I don't have the money, but I have the time. I have the, I have the strength, so I can put in the time. And I think with some of these lodges, when you get new Masons, okay, well, we just kinda write a check always. But some of these Masons, okay, I don't have that money. I have, I have a young family, but I can take a Saturday, and I can go work at a-- I can go work at, you know, Feed My Starving Children, or I can go do, um, something with, you know, the shrine, or I can help with a 5K. And I think that's, uh, one of the things growing up, I know when I was, uh, like, say, back to my fraternity days, I was basically a regional director, uh, when I was an alumni. And one of the things they looked at for the board of directors, uh, when we were looking to get finances from other organizations, is how much does your board of directors donate? And that happens, I'm sure, with Masonic Charities when they're looking for sponsorship, or not sponsorships, but collaborations. And For myself, I was two, three years out of college. Well, I don't have the money to donate to the organization, but I have the time to go on the weekends or during the week and travel to these colleges, to their meetings, to their chapter meetings, or go to their conferences. So I can give them my time and energy. I can't give them my financial. but maybe they're able to give time. You know, maybe they show up with their kids in tow and they can help out. but to, to take advantage of that, to not say, "Hey, we raised X amount of thousands of dollars for this charity," but we had a bunch of guys who showed up and gave of their time and energy, and not to discount that. Yeah, it's not one-dimensional. No, no. And I know I'd say at this point of my life, I'm kind of at that, that tipping point where I will... I'll write a check as well, but also, you know, you know, put that sweat equity in too. And, and to not discount those who, who give their sweat equity because that's just as valuable as somebody, you know, writing a check. You see, you can't do one without the other, really. No, no, no I just pulled a card out of the deck, and I feel like this question has already answered itself with your prowess in the smoking and the meat and rib department. But if you had to teach a class on one thing, what would it be? Barbecue would be okay, but I realize that, uh, for the longest time, I, I've always kind of been, been one of the worker bees. Um, I, I help organize, I, I go shopping, but as far as the, the ins and out of day-to-day barbecue, not necessarily be my, my huge prowess. I would say I am a connoisseur of, I used to do a lot of home brewing back in the day. Uh, not as much now with, uh, with the kids, and obviously I got that new, uh, hobby of, uh, Freemasonry and whatnot. But, uh, I used to have guys over a lot and teach them about home brewing. Uh, I used to do it competitively for a while, and it kind of scratched that itch of chemistry. you know, home brewing is kind of a combination between cooking and chemistry, kind of teaching the ins and outs of that. And I just like the, the subtleness of that, when you add different, uh, different hops, what that does to the beer, what that does to, uh, like say a different malt as far as the color and the flavor. So, something like that would be, uh, would be good. What fictional place do you wish you could visit? I would be remiss if I didn't say Star Wars because if anybody who knows me and is listening to this going, "He's lying." If you say anything other than that- Exactly we're gonna be like, "Come on, guys." So I guess, I guess I would have to go with, uh, with Coruscant, the home city where all the, uh, where the Empire was and the, the galactic with just the hustle and the bustle and, and everything there I think would be just amazing to see If you were immortal, what age would you choose to stop aging at? would that be a physical or a mental age stop? You pick. My pick. I would probably say something easy like, say, a 35. Why? I, I think, I think physically. Um, but I guess if you're, if... See, yeah, 35's too young then because you've... If you're gonna be immortal, so hey, you can't die, I, I would say probably older, like a 45, and even, like, say... Yeah, I'd say about 45 because then you, you've got some of that wisdom. You've got that knowledge that you, like I say, you don't know everything at that point, but you know enough where, you're not stuck in that, that age of, you know, "Oh, it'd be great to be 21 forever." Yeah. But if you're immortal for 21 without any new knowledge- Oh, pointless. Yeah. It's... Yeah, that would just, just be terrible. See, 45 would enable you to not be sore and have body aches for no reason- Yeah after that. Yeah. That snap, that snap, crackle, pop in the morning. Yeah. Yeah. Where does that come from? Yeah. I, I had a, one of the guys from the lodge, I think it was a few months ago, he had turned 40. He's like, "What's that gonna be like?" Said, "Things are just gonna hurt randomly." Mm-hmm. It's just, it's just what's gonna happen. Xylophone when you wake up. Exactly. Exactly. What is the single best realization you've ever had? That taking the chance being a stay-at-home dad was the best, choice I ever made. Uh, it, it sounds, it possibly sounds trite and that I'm sucking up to my kids, but, uh, When they were growing up, I had a unique relationship with them that none of my other, uh, friends did. They would say, "Oh, I gotta, I gotta babysit the kids this weekend. Uh, I gotta stay at home with the kids." And I, I hate, and I don't use the word hate a whole lot, I hate the term babysitting when they're your kids. but it, it gave me an opportunity to be there, right when they were young, going to play dates. Uh, I could write a... I could probably write a novel based on my observations of being a stay-at-home dad when I did, because it wasn't very prevalent, lot of moms at all the playgroups, and it's kind of, "Why are you here?" But, uh, I, I, I didn't care. I was there for my kids, and, uh, it gave me just that, that unique relationship with them that, that it just... I didn't have to work at it. I didn't have to say, "Okay, I'm home for this amount of time. I, I have to do this." So I would say that would be my, my best call. Dude, write the book. It'd be great. Yeah, I, I think about it, and then, yeah, the things, it would, it would probably upset some people, so. In, just in general, not in specifics. Right. Todd Mayer, we thank you for all that you do for the Masonic family. From Minnesota Freemasons, you're district deputy now, and I- we could have listed your, your many honors, titles, and involvement would have taken probably 15 minutes to do. But you're a brother, you're selfless, you have been a, a servant leader 20 years now, and we're so grateful to have you. Thank you so much, Reed.