Moments to Ponder

Episode 109: The Weight of Secrets and the Path to the Light (Gen. 42:1-24)

• Betsy Marvin • Season 14 • Episode 109

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 Imagine carrying the weight of a dark secret for two decades, feeling its chilling grip on your heart and watching it fray the threads of family ties. This episode unravels the hidden turmoil of Joseph's brothers as they grapple with the guilt of their betrayal, illuminating the stark contrast between burdensome secrets and the essential confidentiality in professional realms. 

This narrative thread is woven together with inspiring tales  student mission trips to Mexico where the power of confession shines bright. I share moving stories of how stepping into the light of Jesus brings about a profound sense of release and freedom, as burdens once cloaked in darkness are surrendered to His healing embrace. The parallels between our own lives and Joseph's eventual reunion with his family are striking, urging us to consider which secrets we might be holding onto that need to see the light. Together, we'll find encouragement in the truth that Jesus knows us more intimately than we know ourselves and stands ready to lead us from the shadows into His redemptive light.

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Speaker 1:

Hi friends, welcome to Moments to Ponder. This is a podcast designed to help you journey through God's Word, gain fresh perspectives and find meaningful takeaways to ponder throughout the week. I'm Betsy Marvin and this is episode 109. The section of scripture for today has me thinking about secrets. How good are you at keeping secrets? Some secrets are fun, like surprises or gifts. If it's an exciting secret, I have a really hard time not sharing it. But if it's a harder secret, like something that you've kept to yourself and kept hidden, or you know something hard that is coming for someone else, it can really eat away at us feeling a lot more like dread that I hope no one ever finds out kind of secret.

Speaker 1:

Joseph's brothers had been keeping a dark secret for 20 years 20. 20 years of watching their father grieve and live in fear of losing another son, watching their father grieve and live in fear of losing another son. 20 years of carrying around the guilt of what they had done. I can't even imagine keeping a secret for 20 years. That is such a long time to hold on to guilt and shame. So when they heard Egypt from their father, it must have brought it all back Now. Famines are not a good thing. Yet God can and does use our needs to move us to do things we wouldn't normally do. And that's the situation for the brothers. They would have never gone to Egypt on their own, but their need and their father pushed them to go. So I've been thinking about the brothers. Did this secret just eat at them? Were there days that they didn't think about it at all, and then others where they couldn't get it out of their head? Did they talk about it when they were in the fields all alone? Did their wives know? And if they did, how did it affect their relationship? Had this affected their relationship with their father? Secrecy can feel pretty shady and underhanded. The awareness of something that has affected others, a lie that just festers that feeling of I got away with it, but knowing really that you didn't. Now in my work there are a lot of things that need to be confidential and it can feel like a secret and it is. In a way, both are holding someone's confidences, but with confidentiality there's a protecting of information, of being trustworthy, and that feels different. And although being confidential and keeping a secret is hiding truth in some way, I believe the motives are very different.

Speaker 1:

As we come into this chapter. It's like we're entering halfway through a conversation. It seems as if Jacob has mentioned Egypt and going to buy grain, but he didn't get the response that he thought he would. His sons are silent. It's as if just mentioning Egypt has brought it all back. They know this is most likely where Joseph ended up. So they give each other that look, you know the one, the one that's shared between people who know something that other people don't know.

Speaker 1:

When Jacob heard that grain was available in Egypt, he said to his sons why are you standing around looking at each other? I have heard that there is grain in Egypt. Go down there and buy enough grain for us to keep alive, otherwise we'll die. So Joseph's 10 older brothers went down to Egypt to buy grain, but Jacob wouldn't let Joseph's younger brother, benjamin, go with them, for fear Well, for fear that some harm might come to him. Go with them, for fear, well, for fear, that some harm might come to him. So Jacob's sons arrived in Egypt along with others to buy food, for the famine was in Canaan as well.

Speaker 1:

Now we weren't told how far into the famine it is, but many of the commentaries I read believe that it was early on, maybe even in the very first year of the famine. So, if we do the math, benjamin was a toddler when Joseph was sold, so he's most likely in his early 20s. By this time Joseph's 37 years old and Reuben the oldest was likely in his early 50s. The older brothers are fathers. Benjamin may have even been married and had children by this time, we don't know. But Jacob is still protective of him. The fear and loss from the incident with Joseph seems to have permeated Jacob's life, and even in watching all of this, the older sons didn't say anything. Now the journey to Egypt from Canaan would have taken over a week as the men made their way alongside other caravans coming to the city for food. And I have to wonder what the scene looked like as the men entered the city. Were there people everywhere? Were there beggars, children running around. So many people would have been in need of food and help.

Speaker 1:

We'll continue with verse 6. Since Joseph was governor in all Egypt and in charge of selling grain to all the people, it was to him that his brothers came. When they arrived, they bowed before him with their faces to the ground. Joseph recognized his brothers instantly, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them when are you from, he demanded, from the land of Canaan. They replied We've come to buy food. Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they didn't recognize him.

Speaker 1:

Joseph maintains his role here, speaking Egyptian, realizing that his brothers don't recognize him. I mean, have you ever been in a place where you struggled to recognize someone? I mean, it was a different context or maybe they just looked a lot different. I mean, there was no way his brothers thought they would see Joseph. Plus, he would have looked like an Egyptian with clean, shaven face, most likely a shaved head, really fine clothes. And he's in such a place of authority and he's speaking Egyptian. He's pretty much disguised from them and Joseph goes with it.

Speaker 1:

But what would it have been like for Joseph to see his brothers? Would it have been like a gut punch? Did it make all the memories fresh, reliving the moment of pleading for his life, being forced to walk away from all that he knew and loved. And then he's going to kind of step into something that makes you wonder when did he think this up? Here we go, verse 9.

Speaker 1:

And he remembered the dreams he'd had about them many years before. He said to them you're spies, you've come to see how vulnerable our land has become. He remembered the dreams. Remember, in his dream, the grain bowed down to him. Even 20 years earlier. God knew grain would be a part of this moment, and Joseph seems to be stalling a little bit here, calling them spies.

Speaker 1:

No, my Lord, they exclaimed. As he called them spies, your servants have simply come to buy food. We're all brothers, members of the same family. We're honest men, sir. We are not spies. Yes, you are, joseph insisted. You've come to see how vulnerable our land has become, sir, they said. There are actually 12 of us. We, your servants, are all brothers, sons of a man living in the land of Canaan. Our youngest brother is back there with our father right now and one of our brothers is no longer with us. But Joseph insisted, as I said, you are spies. This is how I will test your story. I swear by the life of Pharaoh that you will never leave Egypt unless your youngest brother comes here. One of you must go and get your brother. I'll keep the rest of you here in prison. Then we'll find whether or not your story is true by the life of Pharaoh. If it turns out that you don't have a younger brother, then I'll know you're spies.

Speaker 1:

Different commentators have different ways of interpreting this moment. Some feel that Joseph was full of resentment and was playing games with his brothers here. Others see this more of a testing to gauge the character after all this time to see if they had changed at all. Now, because of the names of Joseph's sons, I tend more toward the latter. He moved on. He has forgotten. He is looking toward the faithfulness and fruitfulness of his current life, but he also is wise, so he's going to be wise in his dealings with them.

Speaker 1:

I also wonder if Joseph was trying to make sure that Benjamin was okay. I mean, he was only a toddler when he left. So did he wonder if his brothers had turned on Benjamin, just as they had turned on him? But I ought to say, as I read this, I do have some questions that come up, like if Joseph was truly concerned about Benjamin, then why didn't he attempt to see his father and younger brother before? Now he has so much at his disposal. It sure seems like he could have. And has he really moved on?

Speaker 1:

We have no way of knowing, but how would you have reacted? I've had to think about how I would react. Would I, when I see them want to just take some revenge. Would I have carried that little tiny piece of resentment that's left, and would it have grown? Would I just want to say like, look at me, now I'm going to make you pay? I don't know.

Speaker 1:

Well, in verse 17, it continues with what Joseph did. So Joseph put them all in prison for three days. On the third day, joseph said to them I am a God-fearing man. If you do as I say, you will live. If you are really honest, men, choose one of your brothers to remain in prison. The rest of you may go home with grain for your starving families, but you must bring your youngest brother back to me. This will prove that you are telling the truth and you will not die. To this. They agreed Okay, three days, was it? One day for every year Joseph had spent in prison himself. I mean, he tells them also, interestingly enough, that he's a God-fearing man. They see him as an Egyptian, so that would have been a really odd thing to say. Then he makes a point If you are really honest, men, oh ouch, there's the test. So choose one to stay. Little insurance, so that they would return or not, which would speak volumes. Verse 21,.

Speaker 1:

Speaking among themselves, they said we are being punished because of what we did to Joseph long ago. We saw his anguish when he pleaded for his life, but we wouldn't listen. That's why we're in this trouble. Didn't I tell you not to sin against the boy? Ruben asked, but you wouldn't listen. And now we have to answer for his blood. They are so quick to equate this punishment to what they've done to Joseph. I think it speaks to how much this is really on their minds. And of course they're in Egypt, so it's got to feel closer. They can still hear him pleading for his life. I mean, did that echo in their memories all this time? The secret, what they have done isn't far from their thoughts. And basically Reuben is saying I told you not to Verse 23.

Speaker 1:

Of course they didn't know that Joseph understood them, for he had been speaking to them through an interpreter. Now he turned away from them and began to weep. When he regained his composure he spoke to them again. Then he chose Simeon from among them and had him tied up right before their eyes. We're going to stop with our passage here and continue it on in our next episode, all right? So why the tears? Were they because he heard that Reuben actually tried to save him? Were they because he could see how their actions have just been tearing away at them and eating at them in the darkness of their souls? Or maybe he weeped because he realized that they still thought of him and maybe he realized how much he did still love them? I don't know. But he chooses Simeon to stay, which is also another question. Why Simeon? Maybe he was the ringleader. Maybe he instigated what happened all that time long ago, when Reuben was missing. He had them bind Simeon right before their eyes, still acting all tough before his brothers. Simeon was the next oldest to Reuben. Reuben had tried to protect Joseph, so maybe Simeon was the one who started the conspiracy against Joseph. So maybe Simeon was the one who started the conspiracy against Joseph.

Speaker 1:

This is such a complicated family moment and we'll see more of this in our next episode. So this week I think our takeaway needs to come from the brothers. Guilt, unconfessed sin, can create such distance in our relationship with God. It creates a barrier where we no longer hear God's voice, we don't see his glory and we don't feel his presence. Guilt shrivels us up on the inside spiritually, and we have to get rid of it.

Speaker 1:

For years I oversaw a student mission trip to Mexico. I've spoken up before on this episode and on that trip we would do mission work with a pastor each day and at night we spent time doing internal spiritual work with Jesus. One night was lovingly called Cross Night. It was a night of confession, bringing to Jesus whatever was hindering our walk with him. There's always something isn't there. I went on this trip for 20 years and there was always something I could bring to Jesus.

Speaker 1:

For some in the group it was a time to release control or seek forgiveness. For others it was a night of finally confessing a secret, something that needed to be brought out into the light, and the freedom that came with light was an amazing thing to see. Darkness can't live in the light, and when we bring a secret from the dark into the light, it completely loses its power. The lie breaks, the truth sinks in and forgiveness and healing can start. John says in John 1, 4, and 5 that Jesus brought light to everyone. That light shined in the darkness and the darkness can never extinguish it. It's amazing what we hold on to. Small things become giants, lies become chains, assumptions feel like truth and it all gets so heavy. That's what makes me wonder about the brothers. They had carried this for so long. It had to feel so heavy and they didn't have to.

Speaker 1:

As we close for today, I would be remiss if I didn't ask Are you carrying something heavy that needs to be released, confessed, shared? Is there something you need to bring to Jesus? Jesus is the light of the world, and we come to his light through confession or release it to him. The power of darkness loses its hold. He who knows the Son is set free. Dear one.

Speaker 1:

There will be moments that challenge us to keep something hidden or pretend that we're fine when we're not, and that's when we need to hold on to what Jesus tells us. He says I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness because you will have the light that leads to life. Oh, may the sweet light of Jesus shine in you as you follow him. And what's amazing when we think of those things that challenge us is that he already knows he's just waiting for us. And in this we see a part of joseph's story that gives us another picture of jesus. Just as joseph recognized his you long before you even knew who he was, who he is. He knows you and he loves you Amen.