Q&A: How Do I Be Mom AND Coach?

Raising Elite Competitors

Raising Elite Competitors
Q&A: How Do I Be Mom AND Coach?
Aug 02, 2022 Season 1 Episode 92
Coach Bre

Today we’re going to answer a question we get a lot… how to be both the mom and the coach to your athlete daughter. I totally understand the difficulty because I am also a mom and a coach, and I agree it is really hard to be both. 

Let’s dive into this episode to learn more about the role you play in your daughter’s sports journey.

Your role as a parent

There are four roles at play in your daughter’s sports journey.

  • The athlete
  • The coach
  • The ref
  • The parent

You are not all of THAT, but you are the PARENT. So your role in your athlete daughter's confidence as her mom, as her parent, is to shape the environment for her and provide the opportunities for her to improve.

You shape the environment by what you say to her, but also through your nonverbal communication, or your actions. 

You provide the opportunities for her to practice and train. You give her the chance to train her physical game, train her mental game, and other things. 

So, how do you strengthen your athlete daughter's mental game without being pushy or saying the wrong thing… when you’re both the coach and the mom? Here’s  a framework we teach in our free training 

The LOVE framework

  • LEAD, which means letting her lead.
  • OPEN, which means giving her an open space to breathe.
  • VALIDATE, which means validating her feelings.
  • ENCOURAGE, which means encouraging her through words.

All these are really important to do even if you are the coach of her team. These are the skills you should have to support her.

Responsibilities of each role

If you are the coach of your daughter’s team, separate the two roles and be clear in explaining to her both your roles as her mom and her coach. 

Let her understand when you’re speaking to her as her mom, and when you’re speaking to her as her coach. In some gray areas where both your role as her mom and a coach is applicable, you can let her decide which role she wants you to be at the moment. 

So, when she’s feeling down after a game, you can be transparent and ask her whether she wants your advice as her coach at the moment, or she wants your comfort as her mom. 

Remember: 

  • You have to make sure that you have the skills to support her as mom. And that's what we teach in our training. We help moms learn how to strengthen their athlete daughter's mental game without being pushy or saying the wrong thing. 
  • Make sure that your daughter has the skills to develop her own mental game as well, so that she can evaluate her own performance without you constantly doing it for her. 

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