Q&A: "When Other People Say Unhelpful Things To My Daughter...What Do I Do?!"

Raising Elite Competitors

Raising Elite Competitors
Q&A: "When Other People Say Unhelpful Things To My Daughter...What Do I Do?!"
Oct 04, 2022 Season 1 Episode 101
Coach Bre

As a mom of female athletes, we always try our best to say the right things to our daughters. We've all been learning to show up and influence them in a good way, but what do we do when other people say unhelpful things to our daughters? 

Here's a question from one of our sports moms.

" I agree 100% with you when you say. And that our words become our thoughts. But how do we approach what our athlete daughters hear from close friends and neighbors?"

This isn't an unusual thing to worry about since we don't know what happens outside, or when we're not around. Today we're going to talk about the answer to this concern and what we can do about it instead. 

What We Can't Do:

We don't have control of the people around us.

So, what can we do? How do we approach the conflicting messages they hear from close friends and neighbors? Can we do something to stop them from hearing it? 

The answer is WE CAN'T.

We can't control what other people say to our daughters. We can't just pick and choose what goes inside our daughter's head.

What We Can Do:

We can only control what we say. We can only control how we can empower our daughters to receive the information that she is hearing from other people. So, we can't control what other people might say, but our daughters can be very intentional about what they choose to interpret from what they hear. 

That is what's in our control in this situation.

3 Levels To Help Her Shift Focus

You can't control what other people might say. There's nothing we can do to stop it. All we can do is control ourselves and empower our daughters with the skills that they need. We can use these three levels to help our daughters strengthen their thoughts and shift focus.

Level #1: Ensure you are focusing on the process

Level #2: Talk to your daughter after about what you heard

Level #3: Talk to the person about what the goals are & set boundaries

As a mom, you have all the power to give opportunities for your daughter to learn and be equipped mentally. It is simply because you're the biggest influence in your daughter's life.

In The Elite competitor Program, we teach moms what they can be saying and doing to ensure that their athlete daughters are developing confidence in the long-term. So make sure that you're doing that work and just be aware of what you're surrounding your daughter with. It's also really important that she has the mental skills to be able to distinguish between thoughts and words that are helpful to her and thoughts and words that are not helpful to her. 

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