Do you have an athlete daughter who is holding back? In today’s episode, we’re talking about how you can help your daughter be more aggressive in her sport and compete with confidence.

5 ways to help:

1. Realize and understand why she’s holding back
If your daughter is holding back, there’s a reason behind it. Here are some potential reasons:

• Perceived limitations
  • She might believe that she has physical characteristics that are holding her back. Some examples could be:
    • “I’m too slow"
    • “I’m not tall enough” 
    • “I don’t have enough experience”
  • If she believes she doesn’t fit a “mold”, then she might not perform as well as she really can. What athletes believe about themselves determines how they show up to compete.
• Personality
  • Her personality might not be “aggressive”. She might be more introverted, shy, or quiet. It’s possible that she might want to play more of a support role and let someone else take the lead. 
• Fear
  • She might be facing fears such as:
    • Making a mistake 
    • Disappointing teammates 
    • Letting down her coach or her parents 
    • Fear of the spotlight 
• Confusion
  • She might not be sure what’s expected of her. When athletes don’t know their role, they don’t feel confident.

2. Ask yourself, “is this actually a problem? Or is it only a problem for me?”
Is your daughter enjoying her sport? Is she achieving her own goals?

We can be guilty of attaching our own self-worth to the success of our athlete. Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself!

3. Be aware of where you’re placing praise and recognition
Are you only acknowledging outcomes? When we only praise the outcomes and not the inputs, she starts to believe that the outcome is the only thing that gets recognized.

Focus on highlighting the things in her control:

• The process, her training, and how hard she’s practicing 
• The ways she’s a great teammate 

4. Give her the skills to navigate mistakes and handle pressures
Making mistakes and feeling pressure is inevitable. Instead, we can give her tools to help navigate this and feel more confident when these feelings arise.

Does she have a failure recovery method? What does her relationship with pressure look like? These are like physical skills - they can be taught, practiced, and learned.

5. Alter ego technique
It can be hard for athletes to reconcile who they are in their sport and who they are outside of it. Athletes can embraces an alter ego while they play to help.

To help athletes determine their alter ego:

• Have them write down the qualities of the athlete they want to be.
• Then, have your athlete assign an animal to these characteristics by having them read through their list, and then determining which animal they think of - whatever works for them is best! 
• Then, have her channel this animal whenever she competes - it really works! 

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Helpful Links:

• Visit our podcast website for more on this episode.
• Join our FREE Training for Sports Moms - How to Strengthen Your Athlete Daughter’s Mental Game so She Believes in Herself as Much as You Do

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