Not Another History Podcast
We are Cindy and Katie, and every two weeks we bring you a random theme and offer several of our favorite historical events loosely based on that theme. We are basically just living out our old lady fantasies of rocking on the front porch together, drinking, and gossiping about people who are already dead. Music: The Life of a Divorced Bumblebee by Josef Bel Habib (www.epidemicsound.com). Design: canva.com
Not Another History Podcast
6 Geese a Laying
In honor of the holiday season, we are re-releasing our 12 Days of Christmas special! For the next 12 days, we will re-release one episode a day, each one with our own spin on the classic holiday theme, "The 12 Days of Christmas."
Cindy explains why geese attack and how you too can prevent a geese attack.
So, before I go into my story for this mini episode, I just want everyone listening, and especially you, katie, because I can see you. I want you to know that this is probably the most important podcast you will listen to all day. Katie, I'm betting that we are going to save a life or two just with this podcast.
Speaker 2:This is very serious stuff. Oh my gosh.
Speaker 1:Let's get into it. On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me six geese a-laying. Christmas is my true love, Katie. Six geese a-laying. So, Katie, let's learn why geese can be so aggressive. We're going to explore ways you can prevent a goose attack and also learn about some alternatives to giving someone geese for Christmas.
Speaker 2:Literally anything else. How about those poppet toys that the kids these days are playing with that?
Speaker 1:seems a lot less aggressive. So let's start by briefly exploring. Why are geese sometimes so aggressive? Did you know that geese often become aggressive if they think that their eggs or goslings are threatened?
Speaker 2:I thought it's just because they were literally spawned from the bowels of hell. I just thought they were really just assholes.
Speaker 1:I think so more so, even if you don't see a nest, one may be nearby.
Speaker 2:Lurking.
Speaker 1:If you get too close, a goose may attack to defend it. Now if wild geese are fed by people, they obviously start to lose their natural fear of humans and therefore will build their nests close to people and people activities. Then of course, the geese will become aggressive if people get too close to their nests. Now most goose attacks on humans result in minor to no injuries. But severe injuries can happen. Goose attacks have resulted in broken bones, head trauma and emotional distress. In broken bones, head trauma and emotional distress.
Speaker 2:Many of these injuries occur when the person tries to avoid the goose attack and trips and falls. Just lean into it, they'll do less damage to you. Just let them do their thing.
Speaker 1:So, Katie, you might be wondering how do I know if a goose is preparing to attack me?
Speaker 2:I don't know Sydney. How do I know?
Speaker 1:Notice its body language. At first, a goose will bend its head back slightly. This indicates aggression. If the goose then bends its neck out straight, this shows that the goose's aggression is increasing. Also, if a goose is about to attack you, it will pump its head up and down. They also may honk or hiss if they are about to attack Katie. It's very important to know that geese have excellent vision and they will pay very close attention to your eyes and your body language.
Speaker 2:Wait, should I make eye contact with the goose, or is that also? They interpret that as a sign of aggression.
Speaker 1:So here's what you need to do If a goose begins acting aggressively towards you. The first thing you should do is maintain eye contact and face your body directly towards the bird. Your instinct might say turn and flee, but no, the bird will see that as a sign of weakness and will follow you. Also, do not close or squint your eyes, because that will make the goose more likely to attack. Be sure to back away slowly and never run, yell, kick or act aggressively in any way. If you do, the bird still may attack you. This is important, katie. This is super important. If a goose flies towards your face, duck or move away from it at a 90 degree angle to the direction of flight. I repeat do not turn away from the bird. Also, it's important to know that you should always go to the park with a friend, so, even if you do get attacked, a friend will be there to catch it on video that's the most important part of all this on october.
Speaker 1:Now for a little bit of history, not really but no, but, but this is good.
Speaker 2:This is we. Like you said, I feel like we've saved lives. I feel like this could also you could substitute in many other things for a goose, and this would work very well A small child, a chihuahua.
Speaker 1:Do not close or squinch your eyes and never turn away from your child.
Speaker 2:They view that as a sign of aggression and also weakness and will attack.
Speaker 1:You know all your weaknesses. You know all your weaknesses. On October 25th 2019, an 87-year-old woman with a walker in Dartmouth, nova Scotia, was out of nowhere attacked by a goose. According to the Canadian press reports, the goose attack left the elderly woman with a broken pelvis and a broken elbow.
Speaker 2:That's no joke when you're an octogenarian.
Speaker 1:Right, she should have listened to this podcast. She should have jumped ahead in time, listened to the podcast, gone back in time to her present day, and then she would have known what to do about the goose attack.
Speaker 2:Right, right, she probably squinted at them. That's your first mistake. Don't squint.
Speaker 1:Use the glasses Disgusting. In 2011, a dentist in Alaska was attacked by a goose. The dentist hopped onto his ATV to escape, but the goose flew at him, which caused him to drive into a tree at high speed and he broke his leg. That's awful, and he broke his leg. That's awful. And, katie, need I remind you of Captain Sully and the Miracle on the Hudson in 2009? I remember that. I remember watching that on TV. I hope that man sleeps every night with his head on a pillow of Canadian goose feathers.
Speaker 2:Anyway. So I'm seeing a pattern. These Canadians, it's the Canadians. Canadian, literally a Canadian goose from Canada, nova Scotia, alaska, the border's right there Could have snuck right over, and then we know for a fact it was a canadian goose.
Speaker 1:The miracle on the hudson I'm I'm just saying seems like, for whatever reason, canada is breeding super killer geese so you might be thinking well, shoot, cind, cindy, I was going to get my boyfriend or my girlfriend six geese for Christmas. What are some alternatives to getting my significant other some geese? Well, here's an idea you could always staple your lover's hand. Just take a stapler and, just like, staple them. That would be a good alternative.
Speaker 2:Probably more pleasant. You'd get them some more enjoyable.
Speaker 1:Ferrero Rocher. Or you could always check out our not another history podcast Amazon wishlist, where Katie and I have have shared some of our favorite historically relevant historically themed, historically loosely tied stuff. Anyway, all great alternatives to giving your significant loved ones some geese for Christmas.
Speaker 2:They will thank you for it in advance or not.
Speaker 1:They may be selfish bastards and never thank you, but at least you saved them from the goose attack in that case, maybe you should get them the geese maybe you know what, maybe you do know people in your life. Just get that SOB A goose. Get everybody else something from our Not Another History Podcast, amazon wish list. It's one or two people, why not?
Speaker 2:You deserve a goose this year, thank you,