We often hear that a couple can’t start to reconcile their marriage because one of them is too ashamed. They might have had an affair, gambled away their money, or had an addiction problem, and now they feel like their spouse won’t forgive them.
Guilt can be a positive thing if it helps us realize we need to change. But long-term guilt can lead to a sense of shame that can affect your sense of self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem, and your physiology.
People experiencing deep shame have to first realize what they are feeling before they can begin to heal. There are still ways that your spouse can help. Using SMART contact can help you remember to avoid PUSH behaviors, respond in a kind, strong, and gentle way, and take it one day at a time.
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