Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce
Relationship Radio: Marriage, Sex, Limerence & Avoiding Divorce
Limerence EXPLAINED - Why You Feel So Alive With the Wrong Person
Enjoy the episode? Send us a text!
Have you found yourself in love with someone who isn’t your spouse? You feel alive, seen, deeply connected—and yet... you’re married.
This intense, overwhelming emotion has a name: limerence.
In this video, Dr. Joe Beam speaks directly to the heart of what you’re experiencing.
He explains the science, the soul connection, and the emotional rollercoaster that makes it feel so real—because it is real. But it’s also something that won’t last forever.
🎯 You’ll learn:
What limerence really is (and isn’t)
Why it feels so powerful and irresistible
How long limerence typically lasts
What happens when the feelings start to fade
The real cost of chasing what seems like destiny
Why you might still be able to find everything you long for… in a renewed marriage
You are not crazy. You are not alone. You are not broken.
But before you make a decision that changes your life forever—watch this.
If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free
📞 BOOK A CALL WITH OUR TEAM: https://bit.ly/4fhb9Yz
🔗 Website: https://marriagehelper.com
📱 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/marriagehelper
👀 TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@marriagehelper
Follow our other channels!
📺 https://youtube.com/@kimberlybeamholmes
📺 https://youtube.com/@drjoebeam
Have you ever found yourself in this place? You're married, but you're in love with someone else. If that's where you are right now, may I speak directly to the deepest part of your heart. What you're feeling right now is intense, overwhelming, electric and, yes, it feels sacred. When you're with your lover, everything inside of you awakens. Life feels rich with color again. You feel alive, desired, understood. It's as if this person sees something in you the world either missed or forgot. You feel like you can finally breathe, like you matter, like someone is seeing you, the real you, maybe for the first time in a long time. You think about them constantly. You wonder what they're doing if they're thinking of you, and just hearing your phone buzz sends a rush of hope through your entire body. And it's not just physical, it's emotional. It feels like your souls were somehow meant for each other, and that's what makes it so confusing, because you never expected to feel this way for someone outside your marriage. You're married and you don't want to hurt your spouse, and it well may be that now you don't know what to do with the truth that your heart is in two places at once.
Speaker 1:Let me say something you may need to hear. You're not crazy, you're not evil, You're not broken. You're experiencing something very real. It's called limerence. Limerence is a deep emotional longing to be with the other person that you now idealize. You feel that there's no one who compares to them. It's not just a crush. It's not just chemistry Although brain chemistry is very much involved it's an intense, overwhelming connection that makes you feel alive again. It often starts innocently A conversation, a laugh, a shared vulnerability but slowly it becomes more. Your brain starts to wire itself around this person. You begin to imagine a future with them, to feel that life without them would be unbearable. But here's the hard truth Limerence is powerful, but it doesn't last. Please now, before you turn me off thinking I don't know what I'm talking about, please give me a couple of minutes to explain.
Speaker 1:I've been in love with a woman while I was married to my wife. I experienced limerence in its strongest, deepest form. So I understand it from having lived it for more than three years before it finally faded. Hers faded too. It had to. Why? Well, research indicates that the intense emotions of limerence typically last between three months and four years.
Speaker 1:I'm Dr Joe Beam, and over the last 31 years I've worked with thousands of people. In limerence I've witnessed it less than five times where it lasted as long as four years. Seldom has it lasted three years and it always fades. Now I'll explain in a minute that it has to, not because the people involved are bad and not because it lasted three years and it always fades. Now I'll explain in a minute that it has to, not because the people involved are bad and not because it wasn't real, but because the brain cannot stay in that heightened state forever. It's like being on a roller coaster nonstop. Eventually the ride has to end.
Speaker 1:Now I could go on to explain both the anthropological and biological reasons that limerence must not last or it would eradicate humanity. But you don't want to hear all that. Just know that when it does begin to fade, your lover starts to see you more clearly and you start to see your lover more clearly, while in limerence you each seem nearly perfect to each other. But in reality no one's perfect. Every person has their flaws, their habits, their ordinary daily realities. That may seem cute now, but don't, as time goes on and feelings always change. Any intense emotion will alter with time. Maybe I should say it this way Every intense emotion will alter with time. Maybe I should say it this way Every intense emotion will alter with time.
Speaker 1:If you examine your relationships over your lifetime, you'll see that I'm right about that. For example, the emotions a person feels for their newborn in their arms isn't the same emotion they feel toward the child when the child is six or 16. They feel toward the child when the child is six or 16. If you have children, you likely felt a tremendous love and a desire to absolutely protect them when you first saw them come from the womb. But if you felt that same intense level of love right now, ask yourself if you might feel differently about possibly leaving your family for another person. Oh, I'm not trying to make you feel guilty. I'm only trying to explain how emotions change with time. And the same will happen with what you feel for your lover, just as it has, with time, toward your spouse. It will change. That means the version of love you feel right now won't stay the same, and while you're caught in the beauty of this moment, you may not be thinking about what comes next.
Speaker 1:But I ask you gently to consider what will this cost? What will it cost your children if you leave their other parent? They're the ones who watch how you love, the ones who will one day ask why home didn't stay whole. What will it cost your spouse if you leave them? The one who may have failed you, yes, but who trusted you, who built a life with you, who will carry the weight of betrayal even if they never show it. And what will it cost you? The ache of holidays and birthdays and empty chairs at tables, because what you feel now will change, but the consequences they last. What begins as freedom can become regret. What feels like destiny can later feel like devastation. Testimony can later feel like devastation. If you're still watching, it's because you do care about your current marriage and family.
Speaker 1:So, before making a firm decision to leave for the other person, are you willing to make sure it's the right decision, not just for you, but for the people you care about? What do I mean? Give us a chance to help you think through all you need to think through before you decide whether to leave or to stay. In three days, we can give you enough information to make your decision based on what you feel is right for your life. We do not make the decision for you, nor do we manipulate in any way what your decision will be. We do not make the decision for you, nor do we manipulate in any way what your decision will be. We simply teach. Our job is to make sure you have all the information you need to decide wisely one way or the other. We never decide for anyone. You decide.
Speaker 1:I know what you're thinking, but I deeply love my lover and want to be with them forever. As to my spouse, we've grown so far apart. We don't talk anymore, there's no spark, and maybe that's true for now. But don't you owe it to yourself to discover if the spark you feel for someone else is actually a sign of what your heart is capable of? What if those feelings are a mirror showing you what you long for? And what if you could find all of that, not in someone new, but in someone renewed, for the sake of your future happiness, for the sake of those that you care about? It's definitely worth three days to make sure, and we want to help.
Speaker 1:You may not know all you need to consider to be happy with your decision for the rest of your life, but we do, and that's not hype. That's what we do every single day. We help people in the very place you are right now people in love with someone else, people ready to leave, people who thought the marriage was over. If they decide to rebuild their marriage, we help them learn how to love deeply again. If they decide to leave their marriage for their lover, we've given them the information to have peace with their decision. Your story's not over and your best love story might not be behind you or beyond you. It might be right in front of you waiting to be rewritten.
Speaker 1:So here's our invitation Don't give up on your marriage. Not yet, not until you've honestly examined your heart and your mind. You can schedule a free conversation with us at marriagehelpercom. We won't talk with a counselor, but one of our staff who will listen and who will let you know what we can do for you. Please, let us help. We have the information and the experience. We have the path. You just need to take the next step. Choose hope, choose healing, choose love that lasts a lifetime. Let us walk with you and show you what love can truly be. Go right now to marriagehelpercom, slash call and schedule your conversation with us. Go right now.
.png)
.png)
