The Simple Principle That Could Save Your Marriage

If your marriage is falling apart, you’re paying a high price—and it’s called the Pain Tax.
In just minutes, Dr. Joe Beam will show you the simple Push-Pull Principle that can stop the hurt, break the cycle, and start drawing your spouse back toward you.

This isn’t theory—it’s the same principle that’s helped thousands of couples around the world turn their marriages around. Whether it’s infidelity, addiction, disconnection, or constant fighting, this could be the turning point you’ve been praying for.

If you're struggling in your marriage, don’t wait. Get our FREE resource: The 7 Steps to Rescue Your Marriage 👉 https://marriagehelper.com/free

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Chapters

• 0:00 Understanding the Pain Tax
• 0:51 The Push-Pull Principle Explained
• 2:52 How to Apply Push-Pull Effectively
• 5:25 Free Help for Your Situation

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

Have you heard of the pain tax? Yeah, that's right. Pain, hurting, sometimes misery, even deep into your soul. It's a tax that people pay when they're in a situation where they need to do something. But they're either doing the wrong thing, pay the tax, more pain, or they don't do anything at all, maybe because they don't know what to do or don't know how to do it. You may be in that pain right now and that's the tax you're paying because you don't know what to do or how to do, or you've been doing the wrong thing, because you've been listening to the wrong people People who love you, people who care about you, who are good people and mean well, but they don't really understand, and because of the fact that you're hurt, they're hurt and therefore their advice is highly biased.

Speaker 1: 0:51

Hi, I'm Dr Joe Bean, with Marriage Helper. We want to help you, but let me teach you a principle right now that can start reducing the pain tax if you're in a situation, in a relationship, such as a marriage, where that you're hurting because of what your spouse is doing or what's happening within your marriage, or maybe even because of what you're doing. You see, there's a basic principle we teach and, if ever you come to our website, go to our YouTube channel, come to one of our workshops, go to one of our courses, you're going to hear this principle because it underlies everything else. Oh, I can teach it to you in a couple of minutes. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean that you're really going to grasp it or that you will really know how to apply it, because there are so many different ways that you need to understand and apply it. But I can definitely give you the principle.

Speaker 1: 1:31

We call it push, pull. Now, listen, it sounds so simple. You'll think I already knew that, but what we have discovered with thousands and thousands of couples that we work with is, while they understand it almost immediately, when they hear it, they really don't understand it, because if they did, they'd be applying it. A push is anything you do and it can even be something that you don't do that evokes a negative emotion in the other person. So, for example, if you call your spouse bad names, if you yell, you scream, you have anger fits, all those kinds of things or if you're having an affair there can be so many different ways that you can have a push in that what you're doing is evoking a negative emotion, everything from the way you communicate, to the lifestyle you're living, to the vows that you're violating. And if you heard what I said a moment ago, it can also be what you don't do, like here's a marriage that's a no-sex marriage and the other spouse is saying but I want sexual fulfillment, I want to make love to you, and that doesn't happen.

Speaker 1: 2:32

So anything that you do or, in some cases, what you don't do that evoke negative emotions. And then if you've been trying to save your marriage, for example, part of your pain tax, part of the pain that you're experiencing is because you're in action when it comes to understanding that there's some things you have to stop, because if you keep doing those things whining, begging, pleading, doing everything you can to manipulate the other person, to straighten up, trying to make them feel guilty, all kinds of things like that, calling in all their friends to try to straighten them out the more negative emotions you evoke, the worse it's going to be. Now, the other side of that is called pull, and pull is when you do something and on occasion it's going to be something that you don't do that evokes positive emotions within the other person. So, for example, instead of yelling at you, I actually am calm, just the fact that I'm not yelling at you can be a pull. It can evoke a positive emotion, but more often they're done when I pay attention to you, if I truly try to listen to you, truly try to understand you and and this is a hard one when I accept what you think, feel, believe, even when I'm against it totally. Oh no, I'm not going to endorse it, I am not going to encourage it, but I can accept the fact that that's what you feel. We call that acknowledging reality. Now, believe it or not, those things I just taught you what two or three minutes, if you use them properly, we'll turn a relationship around, sometimes immediately, sometimes over time, but you have to apply them in the way they need to be applied.

Speaker 1: 4:12

Sometimes you need somebody to help you understand that what you're doing, although you don't think it's a push, is a push Because, you see, it's not you who gets to determine whether it's a push or a pull. It's the person that's being affected. That's who gets to determine if it's a push or a pull. And sometimes, if they're not willing to tell you because they're angry at you or they're under lifestyles right now that you cannot condone the lifestyle, a professional can help you understand. And you're saying but if my spouse is having an affair with somebody else, just stopping pushes and starting pulls can change things.

Speaker 1: 4:46

Yes, if my spouse is addicted to something like gambling or drugs or alcohol, yes, now, it's not a miracle cure, but it is the basis for the miracle, in the sense that if you really want to change a relationship, you don't try to change the other person. You change you and the thing that you're going to change again much broader than I can explain here in a couple of minutes, but the thing you're going to change has to do with stopping pushes and starting pulls. Now if you're wondering how do I do that and is it as powerful as you say it is? Well, we have a lot of testimonials from people all around the world. We work with thousands of couples every year who tell us yes, it really does work. Again, it's not magic. It doesn't make the other person do something they don't want to do, but it changes the entire relationship in such a way that the other person stops moving away from you and can, and almost always will, start moving toward you.

Speaker 1: 5:44

But every situation's a little bit different. That's why, if you click the link at the bottom, you can learn how to contact one of our intake specialists. Now, they're not counselors, they're not therapists. These are people who will listen to your story and understand how we can help you specifically in your situation because all situations are different and then they can guide you to the service that we offer that can help you most. And if we don't have that service, to be honest enough to tell you that so are you going to keep paying the pain tax, hurting, when you don't need to hurt anymore, where you can find healing, At the very least heal your heart but hopefully, at the same time, heal your relationship? Then what are you waiting for? Do you really want to keep hurting Really? It's just a call and it's free. We'll help you. Please contact us today.