Gina Pera's Adult ADHD Roller Coaster
You have questions about Adult ADHD? I work hard to provide answers. — Reliable answers honed over 20 years of primary research, writing books, blogging, presenting at major conferences, and leading support groups. — Preeminent ADHD experts including Russell Barkley, PhD, endorse my work. — These podcasts share readers' most popular posts from my award-winning ADHD Roller Coaster blog—the second and oldest website of any kind on Adult ADHD. — Founded in 2008. — My long-awaited online courses are available NOW — For individuals, couples, and professionals. — Thanks for listening—and subscribing — Gina Pera, author and educator: "Is It You, Me, or Adult A.D.D.?" and "Adult ADHD-Focused Couple Therapy: Clinical Interventions" — Blog: https://ADHDRollerCoaster.org — Training site: https://adhdsuccesstraining.com/adult-adhd-solving-the-four-essential-puzzle-pieces-consumers/
Gina Pera's Adult ADHD Roller Coaster
Telling Your ADHD Partner “You’re Hurting Me” —Doesn't Work!
This episode is the audio version of my blog post on a sensitive but essential topic for ADHD-challenged relationships:
Why the common advice to “just express your feelings” often backfires—especially when ADHD is in the mix.
📝 Read the full post here:
Why Telling Your ADHD Partner “You’re Hurting Me” Isn’t Helping
https://adhdrollercoaster.org/tools-and-strategies/why-telling-your-adhd-partner-youre-hurting-me-isnt-helping/
We’re told that honesty and vulnerability improve relationships. But when your ADHD partner is struggling with poor self-regulation and self-awareness, your heartfelt message may not land the way you hope. It might even make things worse—for both of you.
In this episode, I unpack:
- Why “you hurt me” may feel accusatory—even if it’s meant to be vulnerable
- How shame, ADHD-related defensiveness, and poor memory processing can sabotage communication
- The problem with therapy that leans too heavily on expressing hurt, without understanding ADHD dynamics
- More productive, empathy-building approaches that support real change
These aren’t just opinions—they’re insights drawn from years of working with couples affected by ADHD, plus deep dives into clinical evidence.
READY TO GO DEEPER — AND ACTUALLY MAKE PROGRESS?
💬 I love helping you better understand the complexity of ADHD as it applies to you, not a stereotype!
My online training program walks you through everything step-by-step:
Solving Your Adult ADHD Puzzle
For adults with ADHD and their partners. Includes expert video lessons and optional peer Q&A Zooms.
Learn more: https://ginapera.adhdsuccesstraining.com/
Podcast listener discount: Use code POD15 at checkout for 15% off any course.
Thanks for listening!
—Gina Pera
🔗 About My Work: https://adhdrollercoaster.org/about-gina-pera/