Fear Unlocked with Jennifer Fidder: Overcoming Barriers to Business Success

Fear can be a daunting experience, especially for entrepreneurs striving for success. In this episode, we sit down with Jennifer Fidder, a social psychologist and hypnotist, to delve into how fears—particularly fear of success and failure—can hinder your business growth. Jennifer shares her expertise on the underlying causes of these fears and the symptoms that often arise, like procrastination and perfectionism, leading to paralyzing inaction. 

By embracing a conscious awareness of these fears, Jennifer teaches listeners creative strategies to combat their impact. One standout technique she discusses is the concept of creating an "alter ego." This transformative tool allows entrepreneurs to embody traits of confidence they aspire to possess, paving the way for personal growth and resilience. 

Moreover, we explore the vital role that gratitude plays in overcoming fears. Jennifer explains how practicing gratitude can elevate your mindset and change your perception of challenges, ultimately unveiling new opportunities that enhance your business and personal life. This episode is rich with actionable insights that encourage listeners to push through their fears, embark on self-discovery journeys, and create successful pathways in their entrepreneurial endeavors. 

Join us for an enlightening discussion that can reshape your relationship with fear and guide you toward impactful business decisions. Don't forget to subscribe for more uplifting conversations and strategies that help you overcome your barriers to success!

TLDR:

We explore the complex world of fear and its impact on entrepreneurship, while unpacking the ways to conquer these fears for greater success. Jennifer Fitter, a social psychologist and hypnotist, shares valuable insights and techniques to help listeners break free from fear-based limitations.

• Understanding fears like fear of success and fear of failure  
• Recognizing the manifestations of fear in business behaviors  
• The technique of creating an alter ego to build confidence  
• Utilizing gratitude as a tool for shifting perspectives and opening opportunities  
• Strategies to uncover the root cause of fears to effectively address them  

Chapters

• 6:53 Introduction to Fear with Jennifer
• 30:27 Understanding Fear in Entrepreneurship
• 10:39:29 The Role of Gratitude in Overcoming Fear

Transcript

Nicole Tuxbury: 0:01

hello there and welcome back to the next episode of overcome yourself, the podcast. As you know, my name is nicole and I'm so excited to be here to talk to you about fear with jennifer. Okay, so I don't think it's gonna be that scary, but let's go ahead and turn to you, jennifer, welcome, um, and talk to us about fear, about what you do, who you are and who you help.

Jennifer Fidder: 0:27

Yeah, so thank you so much for having me.

Jennifer Fidder: 0:30

My name is Jennifer Fitter.

Jennifer Fidder: 0:31

I'm a social psychologist and hypnotist and, like you said, I work a lot with fears. What I do is I work with entrepreneurs and business owners who feel kind of stuck in their business and they're not exactly sure what's happening, why it's not going forward, and what we find out a lot of the times is that it's usually related to fears fear of success, fear of failure, fear of rejection and how that kind of manifests in their business is that they start procrastinating, that they develop some type of perfectionism, that nothing is ever good enough to really put it out there, that they're scared of reaching out to potential clients, that they stay busy in their business by doing the busy work, but that's the type of work that doesn't really get the many clients. So those are like kind of the manifestations of the underlying fears. So and then what we do is we first need to kind of uncover what it actually is that is holding them back, what fear we're dealing with, and then we can go from there are you okay, dude, go go leave them.

Nicole Tuxbury: 1:43

I will edit that out. I'm so sorry. Okay, it's okay, we can leave it in. Thank you, I like it. Okay, sorry about that. Thank you so much. So talk to me. When I think of fear, when I think of the fear of success, I also think of a lot of self-sabotage. And so not just getting to success, but staying in success, right, because then you get that five figure check and before you know it it's gone and you're like, wait a second, I thought I had made it.

Nicole Tuxbury: 2:18

I thought I figured it out, and here I am, yes, and now it's gone. Okay, so can you talk to me a little bit about how that, um, how that fear works, like in our in our entrepreneurial process.

Jennifer Fidder: 2:31

So it it kind of depends on where that comes from. That's why you often see, for example, millionaires right they would, they win the lottery like a lot of millionaires. They win the lottery and then within a year everything is gone. So there can be different reasons for that. Sometimes it's a money mindset thing that you just because we're all wired in a certain way for different things, and especially when it comes to money, we all kind of have our set point, if you will like, a point where we always fall back to it. And that's what I kind of see.

Jennifer Fidder: 3:02

When people start sabotaging themselves when they get to a certain level, that it's either that that they're just like their mind is not comfortable with this level of of money and they really don't know how to handle themselves in that situation. So for the mind it's safer to go back to the level that it knows, and that's why the self-sabotage happens, or it's a fear of success in that way that they start noticing that things around them change, meaning maybe my relationships change, maybe people treat me differently all of a sudden. And then it's like this oh, I don't want that like. I want to keep my circle of friends. I want to keep my relationships, I want everything to be the same way it was, but it's not. And then I start self-sabotaging and go back to my old me.

Jennifer Fidder: 3:53

But what we have to realize is, if you are really striving to achieve a certain level of success, there will be changes. It's inevitable. You can't stay the same person that you are today and reach a higher level of success. You have to become somebody else and on that journey you will lose a few people, like the ones who don't want to grow with you, the ones who just want you to be the same and they don't understand that all of a sudden you have to do different things, that maybe you have to work longer or you dress a little bit more nicely because you're you're in different circles, and if you want to have success, that is something that you have to be okay with, and if you're not, you don't want to accept that. Don't go for it, because it will happen.

Nicole Tuxbury: 4:44

No, this is so important because I think this is a missing piece of the puzzle when we talk about success, because we do have to reset, like, like it's what you're talking about is. It's very scientific. We have a homeostasis. That is our, that is where we need to be our thermostat Right, and so if we don't actively work on elevating that thermostat, you know what are you going to do when you become successful, when you're in a big house and you know when you're getting like your, your family's making little comments like, oh, she can go buy a house, right, but she can't help me out, right, how do you like establish those boundaries? So there is a lot that goes into these new levels. So I absolutely love that.

Nicole Tuxbury: 5:25

And what you said you know about like winning the lottery and not having money that's actually in my book. I wrote about that and one of the things I was talking about is what are you doing right now to prepare for all this money that you're praying for? You're praying for all this money, but like, are you training yourself on how someone with a million dollars, what they do with that million dollars, like it's not the same as if you're making $15,000, like you don't just go to the bank and deposit it right, like there's like a whole new level of different things that you've never experienced, that you're going to need to learn about, and so I think that's such, a such a big point. So tell me a little bit about your journey. Did you find that you had to overcome yourself in your journey to becoming this coach and understanding these fears and how they work?

Jennifer Fidder: 6:18

So I saw that I went through a lot of them myself, like I'm in my second business now. My first business was a personal fitness training business that I had for 15 lot of them myself, like I'm in my second business now. My first business was a personal fitness training business that I had for 15 years and I still have some clients from that time that I've been training for 10 years. I'm not going to just let them, you know, let them lose weight and train for themselves, but so I find whenever you start something new, find whenever you start something new, it does feel uncomfortable, right, and that's just a normal process because you're getting out of your comfort zone. If you don't get out of your comfort zone, you can't grow, you can't experience new things. And what I had to learn is really become comfortable with the uncomfortable and accept that as part of the process. Because at the beginning I very much was always like, oh no, that just doesn't feel like me, and especially when it was about connecting with people, because I'm technically a very introverted person, I don't like to go out, I don't like to go to networking events, I don't like to go to parties, but that was part of the deal. So for the first few years I was avoiding that and I was like, no, I just there has to be a different way. But there's not. You have to talk to people If you're in this area. There is no way around it. So I had to make like this contract with myself and say, okay, I have to be okay with with becoming a different person, and what I did in my first business.

Jennifer Fidder: 7:49

My first business was Jennifer Ellis training and coaching LLC, and people always ask me if Ellis is my second name or my middle name or anything. Ellis was my alter ego. Whenever I go outside, whenever I had to connect with people, I took Ellis with me. Alice was like the more outgoing part of myself. That was the person who could really relate to people, who could connect with people, and I I created a whole persona around alice, like.

Jennifer Fidder: 8:20

So my first business was basically alice, until I got to a point where I could kind of like internalize her and now she's part of me and I can just be Jennifer and I'm still the same person. But that was a big step for me at the beginning that I had to take because it was just not me and I was not comfortable with putting myself out there. So I had to create this alter ego and it worked very well, thankfully. And I still do that with some of my clients who really have the feeling it's too much of a step to take and say, okay, like who's that person who can do all this, what are her values, what are her habits, who is she? And then okay, let's create her, give her a name and we're going to take her, and then you slowly adapt all those, those traits, those personality traits, and then it becomes easier and you turn into that person.

Nicole Tuxbury: 9:16

So that was was a big thing for me that's amazing and I've heard of that as um, you know, like as a coaching technique. I've seen other coaches that that teach that and I think it's very, it's like it's smart because it allows you to have these new experiences and create these new neural pathways and to understand that this is safe, that you're going to be okay, and so it's stepping into this and learning and it's just like role play. When we're little kids, you're like I'm going to pretend I'm a doctor, right, and so you step into the role and and yeah, and then you can start to embody those traits.

Nicole Tuxbury: 9:56

That is absolutely fantastic.

Jennifer Fidder: 9:59

There's a whole book on it, I think it's. His name is Todd Herman, I think it's the effect, so he has, he has this whole thing. Effect, so he has, he has this whole thing. That's basically what he does and he started out with having um always would always wear glasses when he would go out and do speeches and he didn't really need glasses, so that was like his thing to become his alter ego, so that it's a great book. So if you guys want to check it out, can you say the title again, it's the the alter ego effect and I think, okay, I think that says it Cool.

Nicole Tuxbury: 10:31

I'll make sure that's in the show notes so we can all check it out. Now tell me a little bit about gratitude. What role does gratitude play in helping us overcome these fears that we might not even realize, we might not even see in ourselves?

Jennifer Fidder: 10:52

might not even realize, we might not even see in ourselves. Gratitude in itself is an amazing tool to kind of ground you in the future, if you will. So the way I use it with my clients is that I have them do visualizations about the life they want to have and then be grateful for this life as if they already have achieved all those things. Because the way our mind works is it works a lot with emotions. So you really have to engage everything you can, and the more vivid you make it, the more emotional you make it and the more gratitude you give for the future that's about to come, as if it's already here, the easier you will.

Jennifer Fidder: 11:37

I don't like the word manifest, but like, the easier you will manifest things, you will open new doors, um, not because those doors weren't there before, but you kind of train your mind to see the opportunities. That's the difference, right? People always say, oh no, then those pathways just opened up. No, honey, they were always there, you just didn't see them. That's the difference, and gratitude can help you, like gratitude for something in the future that's not there yet can help you see those opportunities.

Nicole Tuxbury: 12:11

Absolutely I don't. You know part of my book big part of my book is you know how I learned about gratitude? I stumbled into it and I used it to be able to change my perception. Right, because that's the problem is, it wasn't the world around me, wasn't the problem, my friends, my family, it was my perception of everything, and so I was interacting with those things, from these low vibrations and practicing gratitude. Um, another thing I teach like you're gonna attract more of what you're grateful for because you're focusing on it. Right, it's like a law of the universe you're thinking about I'm so grateful for my money. Guess what? You're gonna get more money. I'm so grateful for my relationships. Your relationships are gonna get better. Um, because now you're being intentional about focusing on those things.

Jennifer Fidder: 12:56

Yeah, and you're also training your reticular activating system, like the part of your mind, because you filter everything that comes in. There's just so many things out there, we can't absorb everything. That's just physically not possible. So what our mind does and what our brain does is it filters, and whatever it thinks that you feel is important it will look for. So if you focus on the negative, then your mind is like, oh, negativity is important, let's find more of it. And then you find everything that's wrong in your life. But if you focus on the positive, then your mind is like, oh, okay, we're looking for something we can be grateful for. Let's see what's out there. And that's basically all you do. You're just training your mind to filter differently yes, I love that.

Nicole Tuxbury: 13:43

I love like I feel like I've just reached the tip of the iceberg and, you know, like understanding, like the real, true science, I'm like I stumbled into something so big. Like gratitude is, is so big and it affects so many areas from like even rehabilitation at hospitals after surgeries like that's how doctors know who's going to recover faster. Like like for up to to mental illness people who have been in the droughts of mental illness and they're like, yeah, gratitude helped save me because I was there and so it's just something that's so amazing. So, thank you, that was a great scientific explanation.

Jennifer Fidder: 14:18

I love it and I think that's also important that we kind of I'm sorry, I didn't want to interrupt you, but I think it's important that we kind of make people aware of that that there is science behind it, because this whole thing is still so much in the world sometimes, yeah, manifestation and energy and everybody's like with crystals on the way and whatnot, but there's actually, like science behind it. That is how your mind works, and when people start looking more into the scientific side of things, then it becomes maybe more relatable and more tangible and then more people are willing to actually give it a try.

Nicole Tuxbury: 14:59

Yes, I've done research and it helps you feel less pain. People who after surgery they felt grateful, like their bodies literally sent more stuff and they felt less pain.

Jennifer Fidder: 15:10

It's a whole different chemical reaction in the body.

Nicole Tuxbury: 15:12

Yeah, yeah. So it's absolutely incredible and definitely I'm grateful that I stumbled into gratitude. All right, jennifer, so tell us how can we stay in touch with you, and you might have mentioned that you have a very special gift for my audience.

Jennifer Fidder: 15:31

So everybody who's kind of struggling with their business right now, they feel kind of stuck, they don't know what's going on. I'm happy to do a free consultation call, like kind of a clarity call, where we go over what it is that is holding you back right now and try to kind of peel back the layers to get to the core root and then we can take it from there. That doesn't mean you have to work with me if you want to, I'm happy to it from there. That doesn't mean you have to work with me. If you want to, I'm happy to. But I just want everybody to have the opportunity to really find out what is holding them back and then make an informed decision from that place, if you will. So the easiest way to get in touch with me is directly over my website. It's jenniferfittercom and you have a contact form there where you can just reach out. You have some free resources as well and find my social media from there, whatnot? But jenniferfittercom would be the first and easiest place to go.

Nicole Tuxbury: 16:23

Perfect, awesome, all right. Now, as we're wrapping up, I would like to know what is like your biggest tip, what is your best, juiciest tip that you give your clients to help them with overcoming their fears?

Jennifer Fidder: 16:38

I don't know if it's very juicy. It sounds a little boring maybe, but I think it's the most important step to really look within and find out what is the root cause of what is holding me back, because a lot of the things that we think are the problem that we're dealing with, be it procrastination, perfectionism, all the good stuff is really not what is actually happening.

Jennifer Fidder: 17:03

It's just a symptom of what's happening and if we kind of look within, we stay a little bit quiet, we blend out everything that's going on around us. Then we can get to the root cause of things and that's where we can start. So everybody who's struggling, really look within, see what's actually going on and don't be afraid of it, because you have to find out to be able to move forward.

Nicole Tuxbury: 17:28

That's so good, just like the big domino that I teach in business like, find what your big domino is. That's the same thing you've got to do Everything else falls into place, but you've got to go all the way back and make sure you know like if your foot is broken, treat the bone, so just take some Tylenol for pain, right, all right, that is fantastic, jennifer. Thank you so, so much for being here with us today. This has been wonderful. Yes, of course, and do you have any final words before we sign off, then?

Jennifer Fidder: 18:00

Well again, thank you so much for having me, and I wish everybody the most success in their business and in their life, and we believe in you and we know you can do it.

Nicole Tuxbury: 18:12

You too. Thank you so much. That is fantastic. Thanks for joining us, guys, and we will see you next time on the next episode of Overcome Yourself, the podcast. Have a great day.