From Trauma to Transformation: Finding Your Voice with Perry Power

Perry shares his powerful journey from childhood sexual abuse survivor to advocate who helps trauma survivors find their voice and create meaningful impact through storytelling, speaking, and community.

• Experienced childhood sexual abuse by his step-grandfather and was silenced by his father
• Discovered his father was also abused by the same man but lived and died in silence, turning to alcoholism
• Broke his silence in three stages: telling his partner, sharing at an event, and posting a video that went viral
• Overcame shame by repeatedly sharing his story and connecting with other survivors
• Emphasizes that living in silence allows trauma to grow while speaking out enables healing
• Founded Be Powerful Media with multiple platforms to help survivors share their stories
• Published his bestselling book "Breaking the Silence" which led to a TEDx talk and speaking career
• Created "The Power Tribe" Facebook group with 5,000 trauma survivors supporting each other
• Has helped publish 20 books by survivors of various traumas through his Powerful Books program
• Advises finding a purpose greater than your fears to sustain the courage needed to speak out

Visit bepowerfulmedia.com to learn more and join Perry's community on Instagram or in The Power Tribe Facebook group.

Chapters

• 0:00 Perry's Story of Survival
• 3:46 Breaking Silence in Three Stages
• 5:30 Consequences of Living in Silence
• 7:52 Overcoming Shame Through Sharing
• 9:26 Finding Voice and Rebuilding Self
• 13:50 The Power of Purpose Over Fear
• 18:41 Creating Community for Survivors

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

hello and welcome back to the next episode of overcome yourself, the podcast. As you know, my name is nicole and I am so excited to be here with perry today. Perry has an incredible story of overcoming um, let him take it away. Go ahead, perry, tell us who you are, tell us a little bit about your story and then tell us who you help now.

Speaker 2: 0:23

Hey Nicole. So my story, and primarily of what I do now, is working with trauma survivors, ultimately helping them to find their voice, and for many people it's just finding their voice through a journey of healing and transformation. Some other people it's once they found their voice, is then using their voice to create change and to create impact in the lives of other people. I think when it comes to that type of work, it's usually come from a place of we've been there ourselves. So for me I was.

Speaker 2: 0:57

I went through sexual abuse as a kid by my step-granddad and it was, uh, something I didn't know was wrong. I didn't know what he was doing was wrong because of how he framed the whole thing and how he positioned himself and hashtag grooming right it was, you know so. But it was my stepmom that caught it happening and she was the one who then took me home, told my dad about it. He confronted me and then he sort of uh, silenced me. He told me not to speak about it. Don't tell anyone, don't tell your mother, your biological mother, don't go to school, tell your friends, just zip it. And I remember at that stage it's weird because my dad kind of at that point he kind of became like the villain of the story, whereas really that there should only be one person who was a villain of that story. And you know it, I grew up kind of my dad was a a man's man and I sort of wanted to be that sort of masculine version of a male growing up, and what that eventually led me to see was what really. He was just hiding behind masks and, you know, suppressing his own pain.

Speaker 2: 2:11

Because stage where I was doing that myself and I was masking my own pain, uh, I was hiding behind my own masks. And it got to a certain point in my life where I ended up breaking my silence. I ended up telling the person that was dating at the time, told her about what I went through. I don't remember a single word that I said, but I know that it happened and that she welcomed me with open arms. And I kind of say that I broke my silence in three stages.

Speaker 2: 2:39

Stage one was telling my partner. Stage two was a few months later, I went to like a, an in-person sort of online fitness mastermind retreat event, and when we was all sitting there in a semi-circle going around the room and introduces ourselves, I then, for the second time shared my story. Then again, I don't remember what I said. And then the third time was driving home from that event and I was like I just need to get out my system, I just need to get out there. I was working online on Facebook and I did a video on Facebook and that went viral and became what it is today wow, wow, wow, wow.

Speaker 1: 3:18

I'm not excited that that happened to you, but I'm excited that you're here to share your story of survival and of using your voice, because it is so important. Talk to me a little bit more about the importance of not being silent, because it's really scary to put yourself out there, I imagine yeah, absolutely, absolutely.

Speaker 2: 3:40

But. But I think, at the end of the day, the consequences of living in silence outweigh the consequences of breaking it, because the consequences of breaking the silence it depends on the person's story. You know, you have anything from what. Your family could reject you, they could turn their backs on you. If there's an abuser, they could come after you. Yes, and they're all very, very valid.

Speaker 2: 3:59

However, the most important person is you, and I think, as trauma survivors, we don't tend to put ourselves first and we don't like to step out into the unknown.

Speaker 2: 4:08

And finding our voice and using it is definitely stepping out into the unknown. But when you live in silence, that's where the trauma really grows, and once I, the best way I can explain is through the facts and a short story of how. Once that video went out there, then I went to my auntie's house my dad's sister and she says to me you know, you're, you weren't the only one that was abused, and she told me that my dad was abused too as a child by the same man that abused me. So that, right there, that was when everything came together and aligned and because I was like, okay, so my dad lived and died in silence. That's why he became an alcoholic. That's why he told me to stay silent, and then everything started to connect, and you know so, when people are living in silence, I tend to use my dad's story as an example of what can happen if you stay living in silence, which is having a heart attack, being an alcoholic and dying before you're even the age of 50.

Speaker 1: 5:08

Wow, that is so powerful. Perry, talk to me about overcoming shame, because I feel like there must be a lot of shame wrapped up in in what happened to you for so many reasons. So can you talk to me about how you were able to overcome that?

Speaker 2: 5:31

I think it's a bit of a mixture of a couple of things. I think one would be how. I think. I think for me personally in my journey, the shame started to kind of disappear when I shared my story multiple times and when there was feedback from people, ie other survivors I was just met with an overwhelming sense of positivity. Now, if and this is why I say like in my book I say about how if you're living in silence, I would recommend you don't follow the path that I went down.

Speaker 2: 6:07

If you're living in silence, don't just go ahead and tell your partner. The reason. Why is because you can't guarantee what that reaction is going to be. And if they give you any type of inkling that they are rejecting your story or maybe they're not and they're trying to figure out how to reply back to you so they pause and the pause is not what you needed in that moment. Boom, you've now just associated and attached your truth that you've been holding on to this whole time with now rejection and you will never, ever share your story again or is unlikely. So I was very, very lucky that I had a partner that met it with in open arms.

Speaker 2: 6:44

So I would say like to people about shame is that starts to disappear when you're starting to break the silence to yourself first, in as many different ways as possible. The more times you break your silence yourself, the more time to take ownership over it and the shame starts to disappear and also to connect with other people. As soon as you hear someone else's story that's similar to yours, the shame starts to be a bit more manageable, because shame tends to come from sitting with your story in a place of loneliness. Right. So that's one and another one. For me, uh, is dark humor. Dark humor massively, massively helps I totally agree.

Speaker 1: 7:21

Yes, um, I have a very dark sense of humor as well, and I think yeah, because what tips do you have for someone who is overcoming themselves? Um, rebuilding, you know, picking up the pieces they're rebuilding they. They want, they don't want to end up like your dad. Right, it's all about our choices. Like I, in my book, I talk about twin studies and, um, and there was a set of twins and the dad was like an alcoholic and was super mean. And then one twin was like well, look at my dad, how could I have not ended up like him? And then the other twin was like well, look at my dad, I just didn't want to end up like him.

Speaker 1: 8:16

Um, and you kind of alluded to that a little bit and you saw how, how this shame brought down your dad. Um, and so what tips do you have for our audience? That's overcoming, and they're like I don't want to be like Perry's dad. I want to be like Perry and I want to be able to thrive after this because I'm, I'm, I'm still allowed to be happy, right? Does that make sense?

Speaker 2: 8:36

yeah, absolutely, absolutely. I think that's the immediate answer that's coming to me is kind of what we brushed on, but I think it's. I think it deserves to be brushed over many, many times, which is that if you are wanting to sort of heal, rebuild yourselves and start to change, well, really start to shed the version of you that's you know, gotten to this point, and start to step into the shoes of the most powerful version of yourself. You will not be able to get there without writing, sharing, owning your story, because up until this point, your story's owned you, and the way that your story owns you is because you're not, you're not allowing yourself to stop and confront that truth that you've been running away from. So, as soon as you do that, that's why I do what I do now with helping survivors write their book.

Speaker 2: 9:22

Writing books, it's not just writing the book, it's you, for the first time, stopping there and confronting everything you've been running away from. With every single page that you're writing, you take an ownership of the story that you've lived and once you've gotten to the end of the book and you've got it in your hands, that now becomes a trophy of all of the battles that you've won, and it is absolutely impossible. It is impossible for you to go back to how you was okay, because that version of you was trapped in a prison cell of loneliness and darkness. Now you, you know you're out. You're out of prison, you're out there in the world. It might be uncomfortable there's a different type of uncomfortable so find your voice, and you do that through the process of sharing your story I love that.

Speaker 1: 10:06

I love that so much. Um, so that's that's like your thing finding your voice. So tell us a little bit more about what advice you have for your clients when you're advising them on finding their voice so I guess, so I.

Speaker 2: 10:24

I have something called as a brand, called be powerful, and under be powerful, there's many different components. We've got powerful books, we've got powerful films, we've got powerful news, powerful merch. It's basically just a big platform for children, survivors, to be part of a movement. Basically is what it is, with all the different components, and I'll give you two examples. So one example is let's just say, something hits me up on on instagram with a dm saying perry, I'm, you know, I'm heavily trapped within my family.

Speaker 2: 10:50

I want to share my story. Hell, I want to write a book, but there's just no way I can do any of that anytime soon. What can I do right now? And a lot for a lot of, for a lot of survivors, family is the problem, right, and it's not. And this is the thing. I'm not saying abuse, I'm saying family. Sometimes those are the same thing, yes, but it's more so the mom or the dad or the aunt, the guardian, who doesn't want you to share your story, because I don't want you to add the dirty laundry, as they would call it Right.

Speaker 2: 11:21

You sharing your story is, in a way, you sharing their story too, and you know so and what I would, and I'm like it's tough, but it's almost comes back to the thing of if you don't come from a supportive family, then you've got to make sure a supportive family comes from you instead. Because what's the alternative now? The alternative is is like okay, mom, dad, I won't share my story because it's going to make you very, very uncomfortable. Cool, now they free, fast for three years. Now that you there's a and there's a difference from living in silence, not wanting anything to do with it and putting your head in the sand, and then living in silence, very aware you want to speak out down.

Speaker 2: 12:01

Now that's a different type of urge, because then you're going to grow this hatred towards your parents saying how fucking dare you from stopping me to speak out?

Speaker 2: 12:09

Right, and that's just going to bubble up inside of you and it's like if your family's going to turn their back on you when you speak out, I'm sorry, but they don't deserve you in the first place, because they should be unconditional.

Speaker 2: 12:20

Love is unconditional love, right, there shouldn't be conditions, and what they're doing is they're providing conditions. And that's very hard because if I turn away from my family, I've got no one, and it's like, well, yes, but if only for a short period of time, and also at the, what you focus on becomes true. So if you're like, well, I'm going to be alone, then you will find loneliness. But if you're like, well, no, actually there's a whole army of survivors out there who have found their voice and they are changing lives, they're changing the world. How can I find the community to be part of? Who can have my back if that outcome ends up becoming the thing that happens, you know? So it's just really plucking up that courage and just taking a stand for the first time in your life for you and you've you've created that space.

Speaker 1: 13:08

You've created a place where people can go, because that's exactly what you were talking about with your videos, with you know, your podcast interviews with your merch um, with everything, with books, like, you are providing a safe haven for people to come and and be together and you provide community. So I think that is the most important thing that you could do. Like, I think I commend you because you've, you know, like, you've done it like you went and you experienced something, and then now you, you're using that for good's like your superpower. Now it's turned into your superpower and you've, you've, you've learned to use it for good and you're helping others, um, and I think that is so fantastic. Um, I think that's so brave. Um, and, and I'm so glad that you're here sharing your story with us, perry, this is amazing. Um, yes, no, I appreciate you, and can you tell us a little bit more about your book, books, book yeah, uh.

Speaker 2: 14:09

My book is called breaking the silence. Which um is this here? I published this, god. What year was it? I think it was 20 yeah, 2020, 2021. I actually think I did that publishing 20 yeah, 2020, 2021 is when I published that. And I I wrote that book from a place of purpose rather than a place of pain. I had been sharing my story for a few years by then and I wanted to just find a different avenue to get my story out, and I put that book out there, became a bestseller on amazon, uh, and in the sexual abuse category, which was the you know, that was the main category that I wanted to try and hit number one in. I think it hit like number two in any other in the other two, but I was happy they hit number one in that one and yeah, it's done very well.

Speaker 2: 14:57

Uh, seven, eight thousand copies since then sold, which is, which is great. And this book has led to the whole brand. It led to a TEDx talk. It led to now speaking career. I'm flying to Ohio next Friday to do a keynote talk at a conference. It's led to and I guess most importantly, it's led to powerful books. You know that was when a survivor reached out to me and said hey, perry, you've written a book, can you help me write one? And you know, now we've. We celebrated our two-year anniversary a few days ago and we've published 20 books so far. We've got over 80 people in our program and we've just got people just changing. You know, narcissistic abuse, domestic violence, cancer survivors, child abuse survivors just all getting their own unique messages out there into the world and creating impact.

Speaker 1: 15:45

That is phenomenal. I love it. It's like a transformation lab and everybody comes and they get what they need, whether it's community or whether it's learning to use their voice, like you're not just telling them to use your voice, you're showing them how to, you're teaching them how to, and then it's just so, so, stinking powerful. I love it. That is amazing. Now, perry, how can the audience hang out with you, like, how can we keep in touch with you? How can we follow along, because I know more greatness is coming yeah, absolutely, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2: 16:17

So, uh, what we got? We got my be powerful media website. Uh, on there there is a news section. So many of the survivors in our community post their own sort of advice and tips and tricks on there, so it's almost like it's a news outlet. So you can check out powerful news on the be powerful media website. And then we you can check me out on instagram I'm very, very active on there as opposed to any other social media platform.

Speaker 2: 16:39

And then you also have a facebook group which I started, I think, like back in 2022, maybe, uh, 2021, 2022 and it's called the power tribe, where survivors become warriors. It's on facebook and there's about 5 000 people in there and they're all trauma survivors and it's really a community where people use it to ask questions, whether it's legal matters, or it's very much a not a hub for, hey, how do I write and how do I find my voice? It's more of a place of I'm wanting to go to the police, what are the legal statistics? Or, you know, I'm wanting to tell my mom what's the best way of doing it. So it's more so that sort of angle within the world of trauma, but it's a great yeah, yeah, that sounds like an incredible community.

Speaker 1: 17:24

Thank you for sharing that with us. Um, all right, and now, before we sign off, perry, do you have any final? Like what's the one big tip in finding your voice that you tell all of your clients, like what's the most important?

Speaker 2: 17:39

I think you, ultimately, you can have all of like. I can tell you exactly right now. Here is how you break your silence. Here is how you write a book and for a moment you might feel like that's great and everything's going to change. And then you go to sleep and wake up and you're back into reality and you won't implement anything on that practical advice, right, we all, we've all fallen to that many times, which is why I believe that the most important thing is about trying to figure out what the purpose is and making that purpose greater than the fears, because it's the fears of the unknown, it's the fears of the reactions, that's going to stop us from doing all of this. And it's not about getting rid of the fears, because that's just make believe land. That's not going to happen.

Speaker 2: 18:17

It's OK, I'm allowing space for the fears to be there, but what I need to lean into is what's the purpose behind, why I want to find my voice? And it's about finding that and leaning into it so hard that it starts to overpower the fears and, before you know it, you're going to be like I need to speak out yesterday. Right, you will skip dinner. Right, you're like you're not even going to sleep because you need to figure out how to do this. That's the type of energy we need to be in, so that when our mom messages us and says please don't do it, you're going to look at it like I appreciate that, mom, but I'm doing it. So get with the program or you know that type of energy. So that's the best advice figure out what the purpose is and just trust in the universe that you'll get to where you need to go to that is amazing.

Speaker 1: 19:01

Thank you so much, perry, for joining us. This conversation has been just absolutely amazing, because it's one thing to talk about the idea of you know what do you do after you survive something like this, but to hear it from someone who has survived something like this and just to know that there is hope, there is, is a future. You know, after the darkness I've been there and so I know that it does it can feel hopeless and it is very confusing and there is a lot of shame, but there is hope and so, like I said, I just commend you. I'm proud of you. I think you're so brave and I think it's just amazing that you're doing what you're doing and not just speaking out but helping others to find their voice as well. So I commend for that, sir thank you so much, nicole.

Speaker 1: 19:50

You're very kind, thank you no, thank you, and we will see you guys next time, on the next episode of overcome yourself. Bye.