Rediscover Joy After 50 with Karen Theimer

We talk with Karen Theimer about rewriting identity after roles change, using breathwork, boundaries, and gratitude to move from surviving to thriving. Practical steps include 15‑minute joy blocks, sleep and rest hygiene, and a free tool to clear mental clutter.

• identity beyond roles and seasons
• finding what you actually want
• childhood joys as a compass
• breathwork and bodywork to release stress
• rest and sleep as productive practices
• boundaries for time, attention and energy
• gratitude as a daily training
• from cancer survivor to thriver reframe
• simple 15‑minute play rituals
• free PDF to declutter your mind

Download a free PDF at Karentheimer.com: Decluttering Your Mind. Follow Karen on Facebook and Instagram. 

Transcript

Welcome And Karen’s Mission

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Hello there and welcome back to the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast. As you know, my name is Nicole, and I'm so excited to be here today with Karen. Now, Karen, Karen is a lot of stuff, but uh there's a few things that stood out to me from what she wrote to me. And you mentioned you're a freedom coach, a freedom facilitator. I don't want to butcher it. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna say, Karen, please take it away. Introduce yourself and let us know a little bit about who you are and who you help.

Who Karen Helps And How

SPEAKER_01 0:43

Oh, that's awesome. Well, thank you, Nicole, for having me as a guest on your show today. I'm excited to be here. And uh I just love sharing what I've learned and and and about me and how I can help others and inspire, right? So a little bit about me. Um I've been a massage therapist for 18 years. Um, I've I've been a coach. I do, I say I'm a freedom coach or freedom facilitator, either or. And um, so what I do is I help mostly women who are you know 50 plus and they're kind of feeling stuck, right? A lot of women, especially this age, are going through a different, like going through transitions, maybe they become an empty nester, maybe they they become single or just looking for something new and not sure how to move to the next chapter, right? We get all these lovely thoughts in our head that says we're too old to do things. So I help people uh discover that you're never too old. And um, so I do that. I'm a breath work facilitator. I teach I take people through a journey through breath, helping people let go and release stuck emotions. And uh, and I say I sell the world's best coffee that's infused with Reishi mushroom. So that's the short version of what I'm about.

Bodywork, Breathwork, And Release

SPEAKER_00 2:05

That is so cool. There's so many things there. A massage therapist, that's nice. Um, I definitely need a massage therapist. Like when a massage therapist gets on me, they're like, you need to do this like every day. I'm like, I know, I know, but this is what we got right now. The work. Um, so I think that is amazing that you know how to relieve things, not just like through breath work, but as a massage therapist, like actually getting in the body um and letting those things go. Because when we focus on our bodies, that it's a ripple effect, right? Because we're taking care of ourselves and then that that echoes out. And so I love that. And one of the things I talk about in my book is our identity, right? And if we tie it to something and then that thing goes away, right? I'm the CEO of this company, I'm the best mom in this school, I'm, you know, the best wife, I'm the best daughter. But if our entire identities are tied into that, and then that thing goes away, our kids grow up, you know, like maybe there's a new CEO, like we step down. Um, it's all in seasons, right? And so we have to be able to transition into that next phase. There's always something new because if if not that transition happens, and then your wind gets knocked out of your sails. I think that's the expression. Um, so can you talk to me a little bit about how uh that identity piece can matter in this?

SPEAKER_01 3:29

Oh, absolutely. I mean, we we can um so part of my part of my story as well is I've also gone through, I say I'm a cancer thriver and I've gone through divorce. So I get a lot of these things, right? And you know, we I'm not big on labels. However, sometimes what can happen is we think we know what our identity is, you know. Um, sometimes, you know, your people, you know, can say I'm a mom, or like you're saying, a CEO. I can, you know, but who are you really? Right? It's it's about discovering who you are, what brings you joy, what brings you happiness, what lights you up, right? I know for me when I was turning 50, my gosh, and that was almost that's almost 10 years ago. Uh, I remember thinking like this is how the first part of my life looked like, how do I want to live the second? Because I didn't know who I was, right? And and I wanted to discover things about me that I didn't even know uh existed, right? I knew there was more to life than what I was living. So people find, you know, especially moms, right? Like I'm not a I'm a I'm a four-legged uh creature mom. I have a dog and a cat, so I'm a I'm a pet mom. However, you know, but sometimes it's like, you know, people can be I, you know, women, especially women, you know, they're a mom, they're a wife, um, you know, they could be a teacher, who knows, right? But then it's like, okay, well, who are you? Right? What lights you up? What gets you excited? Whenever I ask my clients or even like people this question, like, what do you want? Right? Who are you? And people really have many people really have no idea. It's like, I don't know, nobody's ever asked me this question. So that's what I help this help women discover is who they are and what gets them excited.

Finding What You Want

SPEAKER_00 5:20

Yes, and I think that is yes, yes, and I think it's you bring up such an important point. I saw this post where it was a couple, they were pregnant, and they were talking, oh, is it gonna be a boy? Is it gonna be a girl? And the husband was like, Well, I hope our first baby's a girl, because then as she gets older, we have another baby, she'll be able to help out. She was like, I can't believe that as women, she's already being assigned things to do, and she's not even born yet. Like, he's already giving her all of this responsibility, and so it's ingrained from us in us from when we're little, especially like in certain cultures. Like I grew up, you know, with my Cuban great-grandparents, and I wasn't allowed to be outside mowing the lawn. I needed to be inside sewing something or cooking something, right? Um, and you know, that it was they were like from the 1920s, so like that's how it was. And I am one of few people now that knows how to do all those things, right? And I'm like, probably I'm like the perfect little house because I learned how to cook, I learned how to sew, I learned to do all those 1950s things that made the perfect wife, and then I rejected all of that. You know, when you're a teenager, you push away, you're like, I'm not doing any of that. And now it's kind of like marrying those two sides of myself where I'm like working on my business, but then I'm also like, you know, folding the laundry once I'm done. Um right, but it's it's that identity where it's just embedded in us since we're little girls. Like you already have responsibilities, you have things to do, you have people to take care of, like you're not even born yet, and your brother's not born yet, but I'm already assigning you to babysit him. Like, what? Um I just like myself up for that one. Right. Um, yeah, I remember in high school being the one to cook dinners. My dad would get home and be like, all right, cook dinner. Um, and and little little things like that where we're responsible. And you're right, especially when you're a mom, who asks you, well, what do you want to do today? You know, no, like I don't want to go watch Inside Out 2 or whatever the Disney movie is, right? I don't want to like go watch a race. Um, like, what do you want to do? And then you don't know. Um, so tell me how how can we face that? If I'm sitting here and I'm like, I don't know what I want, which I was there before. How can you, how can how can I start thinking about that? How can I start bringing that back up to the surface?

SPEAKER_01 7:44

So I I you know what I teach because a great question, because again, like a lot of people have no idea. We're we're excellent at knowing what we don't want, right? We are so clear of that, and we could write the book on it and tell the world, here's what we don't want. But what do you want? You know what? Do you like to travel? You know, would you like, you know, if you're single, would you like to be in a relationship again? You know, do you like nature? Do you like, I don't know, uh, would you like a new house? Would you like to go shopping? You know, what kind of things would you like? Would you like more freedom in your world to go do what you want, when you want, how you want? Um, you know, what brings you joy, right? Like I know for me, I love to travel. And I'm starting to get into that even more because now I've created a business that allows me to travel more. And you know, I I've discovered the love of purses and clothes and shoes, which I never was before, but I found this shoe store that I'm fallen in love with. I had no idea that they were so much fun, right? So, you know, it's discovering like what brings you joy, what makes you smile? And sometimes it could be just, you know, watching it might be watching your children or your pets or um, I don't know, reading a book, whatever it is for you. So I highly recommend to anybody who's watching this to kind of sit down and go, what do you like? Right? What do you like to travel? You know, um, do you like watching funny movies? Do you like the theater? I'm starting to get back into the theater myself because I love going to the theater. So I'm I'm starting to go, you know what I want? More um adventure because we have no idea when our time is up on this planet, right? So, you know, from my experience of losing loved ones and you know, mentors and stuff like people like that, that it's like, wow, we have no idea. So why not live the best life that we can? And how do we let go of our baggage that we carry? Because you know, many people have, you know, we all have something, right? So that's what I helped. Yeah, that's what I helped.

SPEAKER_00 9:54

I love that. And um, so I love everything that you mentioned. One of the tips that I give my clients when they're like, Well, how do I figure this out? Um, I tell them, look back to when you were a little kid. What were the activities? Because it, you know, it doesn't even have to cost money. Like, yeah, you could go to the theater, but what if you were just at home, if you're just in your area and you're like, What would what would I do when I was a little kid? Did you like to color? Did you like to build Legos? Did you like to play with your dolls? Did you like to play kitchen? Like, what did you like? And think about that and think about what activities actually brought you joy, and then do those and start there.

Childhood Joy As A Compass

SPEAKER_01 10:33

Yeah, exactly. Because, you know, walking and and you know, or even having a nice hot bath, right? Like just having that time for you and self-care, right? Like it doesn't have to cost, you know, lots of money, like you were saying, right? I mean, there's lots of things people can do that doesn't cost anything, right?

SPEAKER_00 10:51

So yeah, I'm sure you have some crayons or some lipstick lying around. You grab some paper and you draw something out, you know. Um, and then like I've also joined like an art club thing, and we meet online and then we make art together. Um, and then you don't realize how much you miss that kind of stuff, right? I I remind my clients, you are that inner child, you're just in a bigger body, like very in there, and then again, I just want to color something. Um, and you're like, no, that is too childish. I am too grown up. I'm responsible to color. But you know what? There's even adult coloring books.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Let me see if oh my god, there's so many adult coloring books.

SPEAKER_00 11:29

Adult coloring book. This is just random off my bookshelf. I love that. Coloring books for grown-ups, you see? So we're allowed to do stuff like this. Um, I've also got Legos, I don't know where they are up there, but like Rose Legos, right? So um I was able to do that and it was fun. And I was like, I this reminds me of being a little kid and you know, having playtime. Like we used to have assigned playtime. It's time for you to go in the living room, leave me alone, and just play with your toys. That's right. That's basically what mom said, right? Um, so how can we incorporate more of this fun and creativity and playfulness?

Make Time For Play

Rest Versus Sleep

SPEAKER_01 12:07

I think you know, it's it's and sometimes, you know, uh as adult, as adults and you know, having our responsibilities, and maybe you're an entrepreneur, maybe you're not, but find even if it's 15 minutes, everybody can find 15 minutes, and if you can't, then you definitely need to rearrange your schedule. Have some boundaries, right? Because that means you're just saying yes to way too many things, right? Or you're scrolling too much. I know I can go down the scroll hole of Instagram, right? Like I love watching the funny, uh, you know, the funny pet things, right? However, you know, I do limit my time with that. It's like right at the end before I go to bed, I'm like, I'm gonna go see what funny things make me laugh, right? However, I'm not gonna spend hours on social media, right? Um, you know, watching TV, right? It's like, okay, have I, you know, how how is my day today? How did I manage my time? You know, it's kind of like TV's almost, I don't want to say a reward, but I have to make sure I come first. And sometimes TV is my way of self-care because it's like I'm just gonna watch some movie and just entertain myself, right? However, but um if I want to color or do something like that, which that's been coming up a lot for me lately. So thank you for bringing that up because I'm like, okay, now there's that I need to color, right? And and it's like, all right, so take you know it's once or twice a week, take that time and just if coloring is your thing or you want to go for walks, just find something and just go do it, schedule it in your time. Find 15 minutes to start. I gave my sister this one, this homework, right? Just 15 minutes to stretch, you know, or something along that line. And just do that. And then you know what? You all of a sudden you'll be like, oh, well, that was easy. I think I'm gonna push it to 20 minutes, right? And then a half an hour. And and that was me because I didn't want to put time aside to do those things, right? And but I knew I had to because I started feeling like, okay, I'm getting older and it's time to look after my body in a different way, right? So every everybody can find the time, they just have to, like you said, put up boundaries and change things around.

SPEAKER_00 14:24

I love that. And that actually leads into the next thing that I was gonna ask you. My coach loves to drill into our head, rest is an income-producing activity. Can you talk to me a little bit about the importance of rest and how that is doing something? If you're resting, that doesn't mean oh yeah, I can go pick you up. Oh, oh yeah, I'm coming to work. Like, no, you're resting, and that's a thing that you're doing. So, can you talk to me a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_01 14:49

Sure. Uh, now are we talking sleep or are we just talking relaxing? Because to me, either, either or explain to us the difference. Okay, so sleep is very important, uh, because our body can heal. Our body heals when we're sleeping, right? Um, we're getting out of, we we have to get out of fight and flight, which we live in, meaning that we get chased that our body thinks we're being chased by a bear, gotta run. Except we're not in danger, and we're not being, I hope you're not being chased by a bear. That would not be great. However, um, you know, most people are not in danger, right? So um, so sleep is very important, you know, like not staying up to wee hours again, watching TV or or you know, scrolling on on social media and stuff like that. So sleep, sleep is very important. Um, if you're not sleeping well, then please go find I'm big on a natural path. Go find somebody who can help you with that sleep to make sure you get a deeper sleep so that your body can heal, it can rest, it can digest and and do what it's supposed to, right? Now there's also resting, where you're just like, I'm just gonna relax and maybe sit outside and get some vitamin D and and just enjoy nature. Resting can be reading a book, but you see, we're taught at a very young age that uh if you're not uh busy, you're lazy. So what ends up happening, it's saying we can people will say, and I catch myself saying this and I change it, is like, oh, I feel like I'm so lazy today. But it's like, wow, well, who told me I'm being lazy? Because that's such an old program. That's like our parents are saying, Oh, you're lazy, you need to get up and go to be busy, right? And then we're programmed to be busy and not relax. So I I'm working on changing the verbiage on that myself. I play on words a lot to like, you know what? I'm just having a nice restful day. What does that look like to me? Maybe I'm sitting outside again. Like, I like to sit outside, especially we haven't had the greatest weather here. So I like to when we do have sunshine like today, you know, I'd like to sit outside, even if it's just for half an hour or something, right? Or 20 minutes, maybe read a book. So resting is just quieting. Maybe rest could be um, maybe you're meditating if you like meditating, whatever that looks like. So I think rest is just having a nice, relaxing day. That's what I that's to me the difference between rest and sleep.

Surviving To Thriving Through Gratitude

SPEAKER_00 17:19

You know, and the most important thing of both of those stages is that you're not thinking about what you're gonna do the next day or what's your to-do list look like, or because then your mind's not resting, right? Like we have to be centered, focused. Actually, and that's a great transition because I wanted to ask you about gratitude. That's one of my foundational things. And then with gratitude, I wanted to tie in because you said you didn't say you're a cancer survivor, you said you're a cancer thriver, and I have a feeling that there's some gratitude piece that goes in there with that. So, can you can you tell us a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_01 18:00

Sure. Well, it was interesting because I heard somebody, great question, because I heard somebody say years ago that they were a cancer thriver. And I'm like, interesting words, not survivor. So at one point, and I liked that, right? Because survivor, so I Googled the difference between surviving and thriving, right? Like, how does like like I get it in some ways, but didn't get it in this way. What I learned was saying cancer survivor means you're still living still living in it, if that makes sense. It's surviving is about you're just getting by. It's a struggle. It's like, you know, you're going through mud. So it's just like you're surviving. You can survive, you know, you can feel like you're surviving financially, emotionally, spiritually. So, so as a cancer thriver, uh surviving meant to me that I'm still living in it in my past. Thriving meant for me is like I'm moving forward. Like, yes, cancer was my huge wake-up call. It got me to quit smoking, got me to change up my lifestyle, you know, uh, change up my eating habits. I mean, I'm no perfect eater, like I don't have the best eating habits all the time, but I go through phases and stuff like that. However, um it's always a work in progress. So, thriving to me is like, I'm thriving, I'm moving forward. This this isn't my identity, this isn't who I am. That was just something that it was like, oh, maybe I need, you know, what would it take? I remember saying, what would it take for me to quit smoking? Well, two weeks later I found out I had cancer. So it was enough to change my world. So that's why I say I'm a cancer thriver, because that doesn't identify who I am or was. It was a kick in the butt I needed, and I'm moving forward. What do I need to do to move forward? So that's and what part did gratitude play in that? Oh, right, gratitude, right? So um gratitude is so important and and feeling it. I'm working a lot on feeling the feelings, and gratitude is just I don't know, I get goosebumps when I go into gratitude. And it's like, thank you, Cancer, for showing up because you helped me quit smoking. You know, you helped me change up my lifestyle and actually really care about who I am. It started me on this journey of discovering who Karen is and how do I, you know, live a healthier lifestyle. And, you know, I want to age with grace as best as I can, right? I mean, I'm still a human at the end of the day. And I think it's important again, we go in, many people go into their past issues. Again, the the you know, uh, everything is wrong, the world is crazy. I don't know, whatever, politics, this, that, and the other thing, you know, that it's like, wait a minute, what are you grateful for today? Because we can get so caught up in all the negative stuff that we forget, like, wow, like some I wake up every day and I'm like, wow, I'm so happy and grateful that I woke up on this side of the ground and I get an extra day here. Like, how cool is that? So that gratitude is so important, so important.

Free Gift And Final Tips

SPEAKER_00 21:20

I love that so much. And I I think that's the the difference in the perspectives, um, surviving versus thriving. Um, because you can look at the same situation, two people can look at the same exact situation um and perceive it differently. And so they'll act on it differently. And I think that that's that's one of the key things with you know, with gratitude and being able, as a matter of fact, my one of my memberships is called Overcome Yourself and Thrive, because I think thriving is just so it's it's such a powerful um next step, right? It's like because like you said, it's not just surviving, like you survive the night, okay, but then what? And then in the morning, then what? Right? You're not just surviving. Now is time to rebuild, now it's time to thrive. I don't know that that was a weird metaphor. I don't know what you survive, but um you know what I mean? But uh, but yeah, I think that that's just so powerful. And to hear that from someone who faced something that does not make you smile. Because I'm sure in the moment, you know, that's not how you felt when you heard about that. Um, but to be for you to be able to look back and see and say, hey, I is in some way am grateful for that. I think that's very powerful. Um, you know, and that that perspective to share. Um, because people are like, I don't, I can't feel grateful because everything's too bad. And I'm like, okay, well, you know what? I've talked to some people who had it a lot worse. Um, and we find gratitude, right? Um, and and yeah, so it is a choice, it is a perspective, and it is a part of our brain that we have to strengthen, just like a muscle, so we can rebuild it. So, um, so thank you for sharing that. That was vulnerable and that was brave, and that was amazing. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

Yes, thank you.

SPEAKER_00 23:07

Yes, of course. Now, Karen, um you mentioned that you had a special gift that you might want to share with the audience. So, would you mind telling us a little bit about that?

SPEAKER_01 23:22

Sure. Um, so if you go to my website, KarenTimer.com, and my last name is spelt t-h-e-i-m-e-r, which I'm sure it will be on your um your podcast here. Everything will be in the in the notes. Notes. That's it. Yeah. So if you go to my website, download um a free PDF called Mindful De or Decluttering Your Mind. And um, because I've changed the name a couple of times. So I'm like, what do I have it as now? Uh decluttering your mind. Because what happens is that, and it's fantastic because this this exercise really changed my world as well. So that's why I wanted to share it with other people because we get so much clutter in our mind, whether you've got all kinds of um projects you've started or books you've started, like all these things that haven't been finished. This takes up energy in us and it's exhausting. So go download my free PDF and uh and enjoy it. Awesome. And how can we follow you on social media? I'm on Facebook mostly. Uh, I'm starting to get a little bit more on Instagram and uh, but mostly on Facebook. Uh, but you can follow me on Instagram as well. I'm starting to show up a little bit more there.

SPEAKER_00 24:34

Cool, that's awesome. All right, and now before we sign off, we want to know what's your final tip. Like I we want to know like the big tip that you have for us to share with us, what gives your clients their biggest aha moments? Give it to us here in a snippet. Oh wow, okay.

SPEAKER_01 24:52

Um that's there's a lot to that one. Um, I think right now for today, uh find one or two things that you're grateful for and start writing out or daydreaming. What do you want? Again, we're excellent at what we don't want. What do you want? And just start off with one or two little things. Like I said earlier, do you want to travel? Do you want a new house? Do you want more freedom? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:22

Yes, yes, yes. I love it. I love it so much. So that's what I always advise. Start with three things you're grateful for. Even like the smaller, the better. Like the more microscopic you can make it, the better. You know, I'm grateful for a little coffee, for the oxygen molecules in the air that allow me to breathe, uh, you know, for having a cell phone that allows me to talk to someone in Canada. Like we are literally on opposite sides of a continent right now, like all the way across from each other. And here we are becoming friends. Um, and I'm so grateful for that, right? Yay, and shout out to Alex, Alex and Filippo, who created PodMatch and made it possible for us to do this right now because otherwise, I don't know how we would have met, Karen. So I'm grateful for all that.

SPEAKER_01 26:05

Hey, and I'm grateful as well to be a guest here, to meet you. And and like you said, with PodMatch, it's been it's I've been meeting some fantastic people. So thank you.

Gratitude Wrap And PodMatch Shoutout

SPEAKER_00 26:16

I will put my uh podmatch link in the comments for you guys. And um, so if you're interested in hosting guests on your podcast, um, and more importantly, getting paid to host guests on your podcast. You definitely need to check out PodMatch and like you heard it from me and Karen. Um, we love it. Like we nobody paid us to say this, like we really do love it. Um, so yeah, okay, I love that. I love that we ended here on on all this gratitude sharing. That was amazing. So thank you so much for joining us today, Karen. This was awesome, and thank you guys for joining us. And we will catch you guys next time on the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast. Bye. Bye.