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Reconciliation

Genesis 33: 1-18

(1 of 2)

Have you ever had a falling out with somebody? Have you ever had a falling out with somebody in your family, maybe that’s almost like asking do you have a family? Have you ever had a falling out with somebody in your family that lasted a long time, like five years, 10 years? In the past I conducted some funeral services where people form a family gathered who hadn’t spoken to each other for over 15 or 20 years. I know of two brother who fell out with each other in the mid 20’s and they are still not speaking to each other over 45 years later. Today, I wanna tell you a story about just that sort of thing. Two men who were brothers, who had a falling out and as a result, did not speak to each other for 20 years. 

The question today is what can we learn about reconciling people who have fallen out with each other and also even more importantly what can we learn about reconciling is we have had a falling out with somebody? Well, there are some helpful hints toward that end in Genesis chapter 33. If you’ve been with me as we’ve been going through the Book of Genesis, you already know this but if you are joining just today or your looking at this message as a stand-alone study of Ch 33 let me give you a little background. 

There were two brothers, as a matter of fact, they were twin brothers. The oldest was supposed to get the inheritance, but the younger one deceived their father so that he got the birth right and not the older one. When the older one found out about that, he was furious, so the mother suggested to the younger it’s time for you to leave town. The younger brother, a man called Jacob, did just that. He was single when he fled his homeland, and he went back to the land of his forefathers. Whilst there he not only got married once, but twice. He had two wives at the same time, which was permissible in that day, and then he ends up marrying their maids because of perceived lack of offspring. He has four wives and then after 20 years, he decides to go back to his homeland. It was the will of God for him to go back because God had promised his grandfather Abraham, his father Isaac before him that he would give them the land of Palestine, so the Lord appeared to him, told him to go home. But there’s a huge problem, remember that brother? His name was Esau, and he was not a happy chappy as a matter of fact, he had threatened to kill Jacob.  Jacob goes back in fear and trembling and their re-meeting will takes place here in Genesis Chapter 33.  The question now is will these two brothers reconcile with each other. 

Well, I’m gonna tell you the story, and then I’m gonna spell out some things that need to happen in very specific detail. 

But let’s begin with verse one and see what happens.

“Now Jacob lifted his eyes and looked, and there, Esau was coming, and with him were four hundred men. So, he divided the children among Leah, Rachel, and the two maidservants”.

(Genesis 33: 1-2)

Let’s pause for a second. We were told this in the previous chapter that Jacob sent some presents ahead to sort of soften him up, so to speak, and the servants who came back from delivering those presents said he’s coming to see you, but with 400 armed men, so Jacob looks up and he sees him coming with 400 men. Not a good start to reconciliation, would you say so? Back in verse one, we were told he divided the children among Leah, Rachel and the two maidservants. Now l mentioned that he had two wives they were Leah and Rachel. And that he had married one each of their maids, so he had four wives. What this verse is telling us is that he took his four wives and he divided them. He was afraid that Esau was going to come with swords drawn and kill the whole bunch of his family, so he was protecting them and he put the maidservants and their children in front, Leah and her children behind, and Rachel and Joseph last. 

Leah and her children behind them, and Rachel and Joseph last. Why is he’s doing is this? If he saw us Esau coming to kill them, he’s gonna have to kill the maids first and then he’ll get to. Rachel. And then finally, they’ll get to Joseph.  That’s a significant little observation, because of what happens later in the book when the brothers get jealous of Joseph? But that’s getting way ahead of the story. But you get a glimpse even at this early date that Joseph’s a sort of the favourite. That’s what’s going on. 

3 Then he crossed over before them and bowed himself to the ground seven times, until he came near to his brother.

(Genesis 33: 3)

So, verse 3 says and he crossed over before them and bowed himself to the ground seven times. He has lined up his families out in front of him and he starts approaching his brother and he bows down, goes a little further and he bows down again, goes a little further and he bows down again, 7 times. Now that is an act of respect in that day, we today just do it once on a special occasion but he did it seven times. He’s trying to make a point, don’t draw your sword and send those 400 men to attack us. So how is Esau going to respond.

“But Esau ran to meet Jacob and embraced him; he threw his arms around his neck and kissed him. And they wept”.

(Genesis 33: 4)

Here’s the guy who got cheated on a lot of money, and he hasn’t seen his brother in 20 years, and this is how he responds. The significant part of verse 4 is that he ran to meet him, indicating that he was eager to meet him. He hugs him and he kisses him, and they wept together. Obviously, Esau has forgiven Jacob. The text doesn’t say he forgave him, but obviously that is what he did and the rest of the chapter illustrates that. That’s not all, there’s more to this story. 

“Then Esau looked up and saw the women and children. “Who are these with you?” he asked”. Jacob answered, “They are the children God has graciously given your servant.”

(Genesis 33: 5)

He hasn’t seen his brother Jacob in 20 years, he didn’t know who all these wives were. He didn’t know who all these children were.  But he sees all these people and he says to his brother, ‘who are these people? Now notice this very carefully, what does he call himself? Servant whose servant. Your servant. So, Jacob is very humbly saying to his brother, the Lord has graciously given me these wives and children to me, but he calls himself your servant, Make a note, that will come back to it later. 

“Then the female servants and their children approached and bowed down. Next, Leah and her children came and bowed down. Last of all came Joseph and Rachel, and they too bowed down”. Esau asked, “What’s the meaning of all these flocks and herds I met?” “To find favour in your eyes, my lord,” he said. But Esau said, “I already have plenty, my brother. Keep what you have for yourself.”

(Genesis 33: 6-9)

The families get introduced and they all show due respect to Esau. By bowing down. Esau has another question, who are all these people. Remember, it told us he had also send a whole bunch of flock and herds and servants ahead of himself. So what he was asking, what’s all this about? And Jacob says, I was hoping to find favour in your eyes.I want you to notice he calls Esau, ‘my lord’. Now, way back when God predicted that the older would serve the younger, remember, and Jacob got the birth right. He’s supposed to be the one dominating this relationship, but he comes to Esau and says, my Lord. His brother replies, keep what you have for yourself as I have all I need.

 “No, please!” said Jacob. “If I have found favour in your eyes, accept this gift from me. For to see your face is like seeing the face of God, now that you have received me favourably. Please accept the present that was brought to you, for God has been gracious to me and I have all I need.” And because Jacob insisted, Esau accepted it.Then Esau said, “Let us be on our way; I’ll accompany you.”

(Genesis 33: 10-12)

Very simply, there’s a meeting they reconcile and embrace each other and he offers gifts to his brother which he eventually accepts. So far so good. 

One thing before we go any further. He said several times. God graciously gave me what I had. So he’s really learned some things along the way. This is the manipulative deceitful character called Jacob, but at this point in his life, he’s learned that the Lord is the one that’s blessed him, and he’s acknowledging the Lord. Before I go on, I want to make a quick observation. That is if there is to be reconciliation somebody has to make the first move. In this case it was Jacob. If there’s going to be reconciliation, somebody’s gotta move and they need to make the right move, which I will describe in more detail later. In the meantime, let’s finish the story they had been reconciled, and the journey off together. The rest of the chapter tells us about hoe they agree to separate and live in different parts of the land.

“ But Jacob said to him, “My lord knows that the children are tender and that I must care for the ewes and cows that are nursing their young. If they are driven hard just one day, all the animals will die. So let my lord go on ahead of his servant, while I move along slowly at the pace of the flocks and herds before me and the pace of the children, until I come to my lord in Seir.”

 (Genesis 33: 13-14)

Notice again. You’re the Lord. I’m the servant. So, what he’s saying is, look, we we’ve probably a long way and it’s taking its toll on my flocks and herds. We’ve been travelling a long time and we are not able to take the journey at a normal pace. So, you go ahead, and we will take care of the animals. Because if we push them, they might die.

“Esau said, “Then let me leave some of my men with you.” “But why do that?” Jacob asked. “Just let me find favour in the eyes of my lord.” So that day Esau started on his way back to Seir.  Jacob, however, went to Sukkoth, where he built a place for himself and made shelters for his livestock. That is why the place is called Sukkoth. After Jacob came from Paddan Aram, he arrived safely at the city of Shechem in Canaan and camped within sight of the city. For a hundred pieces of silver, he bought from the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem, the plot of ground where he pitched his tent. There he set up an altar and called it El Elohe Israel”. 

(Genesis 33: 15-20)

In other words, Jacob said I don’t need your protection.  You just go ahead. We will meet sometime later, and he saw agreeing to that by the way.  So, they separated peacefully. Then the rest of the story is just about Jacob setting up home in the land of Israel. He made himself at home, he got back to his homeland and he settled down and made himself at home and he called the place, El Elohe Israel, which means Almighty God. He’s acknowledging by naming that place that God has been faithful to him, to bless him, to bring him back to his homeland and to give him a safe dwelling there. 

That’s it. That’s the story. Two brothers hadn’t seen each other for 20 years, meet reconcile and settle down together in different parts of the same land. Remarkable when they parted one was going to kill the other now they’re living in peace. So, this is a simple story of Jacob and Esau were reconciled and the peacefully together in the same  . That sums it all up.  Alright, well pause there and think about what we can learn about reconciliation for this story in the next episode.