58 Coaching Client Spotlight: Autumn Ivy MD, PhD

Dr. Autumn Ivy is a physician-scientist and assistant professor on the tenure track at the University of California, Irvine School of Medicine. She is clinically trained as a child neurologist and also has a PhD in neurobiology. Her work examines epigenetic mechanisms of early-life exercise, and how that can influence brain development and function with a focus on those mechanisms in disorders of cognition in neurological disorders. She is an alumnae of our (one-time only!) Reclaim Retreat, the Get That Grant coaching program, and ongoing amazing coaching client. 

 Listen in as we discuss her coaching journey and: 

• Seeing ALL of the potential pitfalls and taking what felt like an unconventional career path anyway.  
• How she reclaimed the mindset to "center her vision" in the basic science space.
• How gaining clarity of her vision gave her the confidence to no longer question if she is allowed into a space but to instead focus on how she can harness what is around her to support the vision.
• How she learned to trust her own ideas and decision-making skills and now is confident in making sound decisions in service of her vision.

 
If you loved this convo, please check out Dr. Ivy’s website at www.ivylab.org then go find her on her brand new IG page (@dr_autumnskyeivy) or connect with her on Twitter (@AutumnSkyeIvy) and show her some love!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

It's your capability that makes it hard. So if you want to respond to every RFA, do it with a strategy. So you're getting what you want. Right. And that's what I've learned is like, you guys, you all have a lot of energy. You have a lot of potential. You have, you're like executors. And if we can organize that and tailor that, then you can actually operationalize on a strategy. And that's really when it becomes exponential. And people are like, what in the hell happened to you? You're like, don't worry about it. I'm good. Yes. Hello, hello. You are listening to Your Unapologetic Career. Being a woman of color faculty in academic medicine who wants to make a real difference with your career can be tough. Listen, these systems are not built for us, but that doesn't mean we can't make them work for us. In each episode, I'll be taking a deep dive into one core growth strategy so you can gain confidence I'll see you next time. So I get so many questions along the lines of, ah, How can I work with you? You're changing my life and I want more of this. And if you fall into that category and you are a woman of color faculty member in academic medicine, public health, or allied fields, then just keep listening. Listen, are you building the academic career you want or hard at work checking boxes on everyone else's to-do list? A successful career doing the work you love doesn't mean you have to sacrifice your values, your family, or your joy. Stop trying to be everything to everybody and get to learning the strategies that will 3X your productivity, hone your passions into funded projects, and create the career you worked so hard to achieve. If you've been to every career development and professional development workshop that sounded great, but didn't actually deal with the kind of institutional pressures you face. If you're working hard, but somehow stuck in inefficiency, putting everyone else's priorities first. If you spent years trying training and sacrificing to become academic faculty. And here you are still working nights and weekends on the projects you care most about. I'm here to tell you that you can walk away from this institutional mindset forever and take control of your career with clarity and strategy. Every day, I help women of color faculty of all career levels in academic medicine, like you, reframe and recreate their academic life so that they can channel their ideas, passions, and skills into grant funded work with institutional support and sustainability. And that is why this episode is brought to you by Get That Grant, our six month high performance coaching program for high achieving women of color faculty in academic medicine who are ready to reclaim career control and secure grant funding doing the work they love. In Get That Grant, we help you kick imposter syndrome to the curb for good. So you lead your career with clarity and confidence. You learn productivity and strategy skills for grants and papers to maximize your chances of success without wasting your time, abandoning your passion, or working yourself into the ground. We help you build the foundation for an amazing and fulfilling academic career, changing your life and the lives of everyone your work will touch. Yes, this future is possible for you, and it's waiting on you to make the first step. If you are ready for career success without sacrifice, I encourage you join our waitlist at chemidol.com backslash grant. After you join the waitlist, you'll be notified when the next Get That Grant cohort will be enrolling. Your application process will include an in-depth career foundations assessment, helping you identify the gaps in your foundation that are holding you back from enjoying the career you worked so hard to achieve. No more secret worrying that the career you want isn't really possible. This career assessment will show you exactly where you need to focus to level up your Hi, Autumn. Welcome to the show. Thank you so much for having me, Kemi. Thank you for agreeing to do this. I know how busy you are, so I would like you to tell our wonderful community, what is your specialty, where do you work, and what good work are you doing in the world? Yeah, so I am a physician scientist and assistant professor on the tenure track at UC Irvine School of Medicine. I am clinically trained as a child neurologist. I also have a PhD in neurobiology. And so yes, I have been running my research lab. It's a basic neuroscience research lab. And we're very interested in understanding epigenetic mechanisms of early life exercise, how that can influence brain development and function. We're interested in those mechanisms in disorders of cognition and neurological disorders. So yeah, that's what we do. Oh my gosh. I love it. So you're basically like super smart, MD, PhD, you do basic science and it connects, like you said something about exercise. So here's my question is what is like the one thing, if there was like one thing that you would want everybody to know about exercise in the brain, what would it be? The one thing about exercise and the developing brain is that it's super, super malleable and super Right. So responsive to early life experiences, including stress, including other types of exposures and including exercise. And so we think about a lot of the negative experiences that kids undergo and how that can have long term consequences on their cognition, on their memory, predisposition for neurological and neurodegenerative disorders. What can we do about it? And so I really use the lens of exercise and how exercise can influence epigenetics during early life. Oh, okay. I love it. many things seem to be working and going well. Yeah. And it's so crazy to hear that on the outside, it looks like everything is going well, things are working and, you know, for the most part they are, but I was really interested in pursuing coaching actually right at the start of my faculty position. And this was, this was in part because I was already, you know, kind of unconventional, just not only in my presence of who I am as a black woman physician scientist, but also in the path that I took to get to a tenure track position. I was able to get a K award during my last year of residency, essentially, and was able to get tenure track offers as a result of that, which, you know, yeah, crazy. But at the same time, it's like, okay, I'm going to take it because I know I can do this. But at the same time, I know I need some help and some structure because I'm going to need to learn. And so I looked into coaching because of that. But not only that. I was also, again, really interested in pursuing this field of research that not many people are really thinking about or think we know everything we already need to know about. And so, because of that, I was already coming up against, even though I was able to get an award to support the beginnings of the work, I was coming up against folks not quite understanding why this is important and why I want to pursue this. So it was important for me to kind hone that message, but not only hone that message, but hold that message and stay with it. Also early on in the tenure track position, I was being told, oh, you study exercise. You can do this. You can do that. You do all these different things. It's like, yes, I can, but I need to be really specific about how to execute on this work. To bring it back to coaching, that's what brought me to coaching was really having a little bit of structure and a little bit of guidance on how to do that and stay true to that, which, you know, I think I, I had an inner knowing that that's what I wanted, but I didn't really know that's what I wanted until I landed at GTG. I got you. Yeah, no, I understand. Yeah. So you were, or you were already oriented. So you basically a prodigy. So you're getting funded in residency for gay awards that people spend multiple years trying to get. I just want to say though, so you basically like Doogie Howser and you show up and you're like, I'm very smart. I know all the things. Are we can update it Ada Twist scientist and you're like I know all the things I'm ready but also I recognize like I am really like out the gate like fun like already tenure track funded like coming like literally not even done with residency right and have this so I know I'm going to need some kind of support so that understanding is there and then also when you're when you're in that faculty role like the transition you start to see like I understand this weird dichotomy too where it's like on the one hand there's like a million things you could do because it's exercise and there's a million things but then also on the other hand, weirdly, people also think everything's already been done. And it's like, it's like very disorienting. Which argument am I having right now? Am I having an argument that we can do everything or that we can do nothing because it's been done? And I imagine, yeah, that is really hard to be in that intellectual space. In addition to like a novel, like a novice in the career space, building a lab, like, and now go build and lead. Okay. Exactly. And now on top of that, just to add to that, Kemi, You know, physician scientists that are PhD trained, a lot of times you're taught, find the disease you want to study, find the gene you want to study, study it ad nauseum. So me kind of taking this non-pharmacological approach and looking at it differently and trying to pull out new concepts from it was something that is not traditional. Yes. And so, you know, we'll probably get to this a little bit later, but coming up against, you know, being told how to execute on the work, which may or may not align with what I see for it was something that, you know, I was coming up against. So kind of helps me with that. Yeah. So you were, I mean, you were an outsider, like in many ways you were kind of like an outsider, like I want to use this path, but also I recognize like I am an outsider literally by who I am, but also my intellectual perspective is different. Like I'm looking at this through a different lens. I love it. Okay. This is kind of like a marker of being a GTG person, but I love it. Okay. So I think that makes sense like I think I understand like all of the all of the potential pitfalls is what it sounds like you were aware of and want to help with okay so can you remember then or share with us some moments and get that grant where something shifted for you in a big or small way and any times that you'd be open to sharing with us well I guess this is part of what brought me to GTG and then the shifts that happened once I got here but you know there was March 2020 when I had to shut down my lab when we were ramping up with getting our experiments done and all this stuff. Like we shut down for a few months. And as an early career tenure track faculty, that was a big deal. And so a few months later, George Floyd is murdered and you're in an academic space where there's this, you know, new attention to structural and systemic racism and people kind of looking at you to kind of comment on things, mentor, blah, blah, blah. all the things and so i saw on twitter reclaim 2020 i'm like oh yes that's exactly what i need to do i need to reclaim this research that was that was like had an imposed shutdown and i need to reclaim my time from you know the other things that i'm also you know super passionate about and important but at the same time that's not what i'm here to do right now and so i need i need to you know kind of reset and so reclaim 2020 was magic and can't be repeated but i I know, I know. So good. It was so good. of gradual mindset shift to centering your purpose and your value. Yeah. Like throughout each phase. Yes. That's what you're centering. And that's very different than what we're used to, right? Very. Because again, like I was coming into this saying, oh, you know, you should ask this question about exercise. You should do this thing. You should submit this grant this way and did that, got an ND, you know? And so I was like, well, you know, I have other ideas. Is there other things that are going to go out? But, you know, I'm learning from this. And now GTG just kind of affirmed it. Like, you know what? You don't need to stray away from that purpose that you see and the vision that you see for the work. And so, yeah, throughout each phase, really, it started from a place of centering, you know, your vision. You recently talked about this, Kemi. I did. Yes. So, you know, you start out in the beginning defining finding that vision for yourself, clarifying it. And then really what the rest of GTG was, was operationalizing. Exactly. How do you operationalize holding the vision? Yes. Yeah. I love that framing of it. I think that's absolutely right. So, oh, I have so many things to say. I'm like trying to catch up with my brain. I appreciate this on a couple levels. One, I think it's really easy when we're also in research silos for like, I'm a health services researcher for me to look at the basic science people and be like, Oh, well that must be so much simpler because it's all more concrete. It's more clear. Like I've got to convince people about behavior and feelings and control control. Yeah. You can just control it. And it's, and it's like, I loved working with you and I was so happy to have you come into the community. And then subsequently the science, the physician scientists that have followed because I learned too, I learned like, Oh no, Kemi, like, why did you, why'd you fall for the Okie doke? Like, There's just as much variation. There's just as much of a sense of being able to be on the inside versus the outside of having novel perspectives of doing it differently, which just goes to show that that's what's underneath all of this. We think it's your topic area. Oh, it's because I study this or because I like this or because whatever, that's the problem. It's like, no, it's the underlying culture that says there's one way to do it. You have to do it this way. You got to follow what these people say. And it's the only way you'll be successful. And what's crazy Right. Absolutely. And then there's one where you're not. Nine to one is your outcome guarantee. Which one are you? Right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. That's what came up for me when you were talking was just like recognizing that undercurrent of commonality. And it's this, I would say definitely the physician scientists in our group. I know you're not speaking for all of them, but like you all have brought just like a whole nother level for me of like a depth of understanding of how common these challenges are. And so I'm so grateful for you. Also, you're all like really brilliant. I love hearing you talk about your Yeah, absolutely. And even more so, something that resonated for me, like from what you do, like, I don't know if it was a podcast or actually in GTG curriculum. But, um, you know, you talk about kind of showing up to these kind of works in progress meetings, and showing up and having to kind of explain Yes. Yes. who I decide to share this work with and who I'm going to choose as part of my team, you know, of informed believers of folks who also believe in this work to align with me to, you know, see the vision. Ooh, yes. Again, that 80, 20, because autumn, the thing is what's underneath that 80, 20 is still bowing to the pressure to prove yourself. Like on the one hand you're it's true. Like you don't have my perspective, but it's like, there are a lot of times I go and I'm like, Oh, I don't know what this person's talking about. And they're like, listen, You got five minutes to catch up because we're going. And I mean, my feeling is like, Oh, let me catch up. Right. Right. But I think what happens to us, cause what told so often, this is the way, this is the way is that we take it upon ourselves. They all have to explain all of this. And then in that explanation, what we're really doing is like repetitively trying to prove our perspective is meaningful. It makes sense. And I think that the, actually the action of doing that over and over is not good for you. It's one thing to do it a couple of times. Cause I think it's really important actually, like when you're first, when you're first figuring out an idea, it's like, Oh my God, like we'll give a talk. That's just about the idea, like work it. But once you've done that, stop having to show up and convince everybody that like your perspective is valid because it is taking actual energy, like tangible time and creativity away from what you could be doing because you're still like in this loop of trying to prove. So that totally resonates. Yeah. Which then gets you to this place of, well, you know, is this valuable? Is what I, is how I see this existing the way it should exist.

SPEAKER_01: 19:44

It starts to make you question that.

UNKNOWN: 19:46

Yeah. Yeah, exactly. You do. You start to be like, well, maybe not.

SPEAKER_01: 19:48

Maybe I don't know because you're spending all this time in the argument instead of in the execution. Right. Right.

UNKNOWN: 19:53

Right. Yeah. What I heard you say basically is like, it's not specifically one moment, but you're not the only person to say it. People are like, girl, I don't know.

SPEAKER_01: 20:00

It's like, it's just like the transformation is there. It's all there.

SPEAKER_00: 20:03

I mean, every time I get the feedback, I'm like, what would you leave behind? Like, what was helpful? Everybody's like nothing. Okay. Y'all feedback is not helpful. It is, but it's just so adorable. Every time people are like, I love it all. Don't take away a thing. I'm like, all right, I got it. But I think that what you're reflecting is yes. Like there's that part. And I think that appropriately, there is a lot of emphasis on that part of like, like creating your vision and owning your value and like knowing who you are. And we, and I do not think we have enough focus on like operationalizing that. So people can feel like, Like they'll go to a conference or they'll have some like session on wellness and they'll feel all ready to go. Like, yes, I'm important. And then you get to your day to day and it's like, so what are you doing today differently than you did last week? Because you're not going to feel important by Friday. And so I think that's what I love to watch is like, and it, I mean, it's frankly, it's how I learned too. It's like, give me a new way of thinking about something. Give me something tangible to reinforce it. Give me a new way of thinking. Give me something tangible to reinforce it. Cause then I know I can see my problem. And then I can look back and be like, oh, okay, I am really doing things differently. And that's what I kind of heard you describe as the process. Yeah, yeah, no, that's it. That's it. And so you start showing up differently. I mean, as well as with that iteration, you also have the value that you're holding. So you're iterating on your approach, you're operationalizing on your vision, and it's coupled with the value that you've now placed on it, which is amazing. at least for me, that value was like, you know, central to everything I was doing. Whereas before, you know, and even advice you get is like, oh, you know, collaborate with this person over here. Here's this RFA. How can you make yourself fit into this mold? How can you make yourself fit into these things? Scarcity, right? You know, like operating from a place of like, oh, I need to go after each little thing. And then you lose sight of what that vision is. So like this iteration that is introduced through GTG, like implementing these steps, to operationalize on the vision and having that value there at the same time, it's just, it's the perfect combination. And I think that in each phase we're doing that. And so that's, that's why it was hard for me to like pinpoint an exact. That's all good. I feel like this was super helpful. Yeah. And I will just say the other thing is you've heard me say this before, but it's your capability that makes it hard. So it's the fact that you could, you could work in chaos and respond to the RF. Like you You're capable, right? Of being like, I don't really like this or this lane, but I will do it and write a whole grant. It's exhausting. That's the thing. Yes. Like you're capable. They ask you to chair this committee or whatever. You're actually capable of doing it all. And that's the problem. Because if you weren't capable, you would just like try, fail and all this. We wouldn't be having a conversation. Right. Or you wouldn't be asked. Nobody's coming to you for anything if you're not capable. So I think that's why I get so passionate about it because it's like all All we're doing is removing the nonsense because what's true is that you're already capable. So if you want to respond to every RFA, do it with a strategy. So you're getting what you want, right? It's like, right. And that's what I've learned is like, you all have a lot of energy. You have a lot of potential. You're like executors. And if we can organize that and tailor that, then you can actually operationalize on a strategy. And that's really when it becomes exponential. And people are like, what in the hell happened to you? You're like, don't worry about it. I'm good. Yes. So what do you have now that you didn't have before embarking on coaching? Yes. there's this balance right between, you know, you select your mentors. We learned how to do this in GTG. We, we select good mentors that, that are able to help us mold that even more, you know, when you go in for a K or whatever you go in with the mentor, but at the same time, hold that value with you. And so being able to, being able to discriminate against, you know, like when you're allowed, I don't want to say allowed. I don't know if that's the right word, but when, when you're given that space to hold that value and execute the way that you see it versus not, um, was a discrimination that I wasn't quite clear on making, but now I feel like I have the tools and the trust in myself and my ideas to make it. So that's something that I have now that I did not have before. Oh yes. You are no longer wondering if you're allowed to do your work. You are wondering if somebody is allowed to help you. I don't mean to sound, but it is like, no, I I'm clear on what I want to do. So now my lens is different. It's not Can I fit into that space? Am I allowed? It's like, no, this is what I want to do. Like, how do I harness what's around me?

SPEAKER_01: 25:46

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 25:47

Who is helpful and how are they helpful? It's the inverse of the way in a lot of ways we train in so many ways. And it's new for most of us. It really is new to think that way, to think, okay, but this is what you're trying to get done. So how are you going to do it? Like, who do you need on board? You're in charge. Right. Because we're so like in the clinical space in the, you know, in graduate school, postdoc, whatever, you're in that space of looking for permission for ideas. Like you get permission from an advisor, you get permission from a mentor, right? Then you switch to, you know, I can give myself permission to do this. And not only that, you have to, you have to, if your goal is to be successful and like a happy career and a career on your terms and like to feel fulfilled and like all of these things that everybody wants, right. We're all going towards that. And it's like, okay, that actually requires you to step into the driver's Yeah. That requires you to be the CEO that requires you to bet on yourself. It can be scary. It requires all of these things on the payoff is so worth it, but you, you can't get there staying in the, I have to do what everybody tells me to do, or I just, I can't trust my own ideas. I can't trust my own decision-making. And I think that's a lot of the other thing that we do. Like, I mean, we do it overtly and I feel like we do it like kind of covertly, like with your weekly goals and stuff, right? Like we are, we are going to keep exercising this muscle of you making decisions That's what we're going to do. with the lens of your vision lens of your purpose you were so that's that's the other piece I think that I think you're hinting at is like you leave and you're like now I know how to make decisions in service of my vision yep that's it as a skill as a little skill I know how to do that so whatever practice yes I can keep doing that over and over again I love it okay so what advice would you give to a black faculty like you who just signed up for get that grant and wants to get the most out of it they're like oh my gosh, what would you tell them or maybe prepare them for? Well, so I guess first I would say congratulations on making that decision because you've gotten to the point where you realize, you know, whether you're, you know, quote unquote successful or not, you notice that there's something that's going on for you right now that isn't working, that needs to shift. And you are, you know, doing something about it. So from that standpoint, you know, it's an awesome thing. So congratulations on making that step and that commitment to yourself. Absolutely. I really feel like that's like the first people are like, when does coaching start? I was like, coaching starts when you make, you step out in courage and you invest in yourself and you sign up because you already are like, oh my God, which is why it feels so crazy. Like that is the beginning. Sorry. Yeah, for sure. No, it really is. And also just the growth that you experience and the amount of time that you actually invest Not just time that, you know, like you need to set aside the time to like do the modules and all this, but also just, you know, the tools that you get also give you more time. Yes. They do. That's the point. Yes. But not only like for efficiency throughout the day, but also just like giving time for yourself to really hone you and who you are in this space. Like that's the time it gives you. So that's how I'm talking about time. Yeah, I hear you. Because when else have you dedicated, specifically dedicated and set aside time to develop your identity as a faculty member? Who am I? What am I doing here? How do I translate that into actions? What does that look like across all of these different spheres? How do I move strategically? How do I get funded? It is called Get That Grant for a reason. We do talk a lot about getting funded. Like how do I do all of those things, we don't spend that time that all of that introspection and clarity. I think that's what you're saying, right? Yes. And when you do that, it's only like the ROI is only positive because you've done work on yourself that you can't undo. Right. Yeah. Like you can't, the clarity is there. It's like, it's like the lights are, you can't turn the light back off, which I love. They're like, I'm never going to be the same. I'm like, you're not. Go forth and prosper. And you know why because you know these types of like leadership development faculty development things they're available right yes they're available but this is very specific for black women and other women of color in academic medicine so you know you're going to have that lens on everything that you do here and you have this the community i mean the community hands down oh my

SPEAKER_01: 31:00

gosh

SPEAKER_00: 31:01

like ah ah you know i have um a writing buddy that i've had since reclaim 2020 every week yeah So like, I mean, it's just paid off, you know, in so many different ways, creating community in a space where you may be the only one or one of a few, but you have this community of informed believers through GTG, like it's priceless. So it really is. Yeah, it really is. That means a lot to me because I know that most of us don't have any experience being in a professional group setting that doesn't have any competition, that doesn't have any frenemy, that is truly, literally everybody is there to like grow to like break open and grow and to like reflect I mean that is so I just take that so this is why my application process is insane but it's I don't care like people complain I don't care you can get mad I don't care go find go you can go get something you just click on a website and get it like this the community matters so much because we deserve that space we deserve a space a professional space where we can grow yeah like where we can figure all this stuff out and we can work it out and like, and try here and back up and then try a different thing and like actually work all of that out. It makes me happy that you experienced it that way. And it's like such a, it's such a strong component of the program. So thank you for bringing it up. Yeah. Oh, absolutely. Is there anything else you want to share with us before we wrap up? You know, other than to say, just like, thank you, Kemi, for your vision and holding this vision because, oh my gosh, like so many of us are so, we just benefit on so many different levels from this work that you do. So thank you. Yeah. Thank you. One, for people listening, I really don't tell them to say this. I just ask them the question and I'm slowly, slowly growing to like receive all of this. So I appreciate you and thank you for sharing with us. And yeah, I can't wait to see what comes next for Autumn Ivy. Let's go. Let's go. Thank you, Kemi. All right. Take care. Have a great day. Bye. Bye. Thank you so much for listening with me today. I appreciate your time as I know it's so valuable. I hope this episode was helpful to you and I hope you feel energized to go out and claim your unapologetic career. See you soon.