Inspire Someone Today
Inspire Someone Today
E133| Getting ready for 2025 - Goal Setting | Pramoda Vyasarao
A setback can be a setup for a comeback, and this episode focuses on how embracing this mindset can transform your approach to goal-setting and personal growth. We discuss tools like intrinsic goals, accountability, and a seven-step process to achieve your aspirations successfully.
- Pramoda shares his journey from technology leader to coach and author
- Importance of communication skills and practical learning through Toastmasters
- Goal-setting process, including intrinsic vs. extrinsic goals
- Seven-step framework for achieving goals: beginning with the end in mind, accountability, defining milestones, daily commitment, strategic quitting, and enjoying the journey
- The significance of mindset and awareness in personal growth
- Recommendations for books and resources on leadership and personal development
- Pramoda’s personal reflection on success and calmness as measurements of achievement
Call to action: "Find your intrinsic goals. Go after those goals because nobody is chasing you, touching those goals because they're intrinsic. You must nurture that baby and help it grow on this planet."
Pramoda's Online Course - https://maven.com/changesmith/beyond-your-limits
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You know, I usually avoid going back and saying what could I have changed? Because everything in life happens for a reason. I think it happens because you have an opportunity to do something different. In that January and early 2003, I realized I need to improve my own communication skill. I was struggling to communicate complex ideas to product managers and business analysts and so on. Luckily, I was ready to change. I had seen a lot of engineers at Oracle who would blame other people saying okay, I'm not growing here because my manager does not support and my team is not correct, and so on All these reasons for not growing. Very few people were actually looking inward and saying how can I grow myself? My mental model Srikanth is a setback, is a setup for a comeback. A setback is a setup for a comeback. That is my mental model. A setback is a setup or a comeback.
Speaker 2:That is my mental model. Welcome to Inspire Someone Today podcast, a show where we dive into the stories and insights that has the power to create ripples of inspiration in your life. I'm your host, shrikant, and I'm thrilled to be with you on this journey of inspiration. To be with you on this journey of inspiration. Hey, my dear listeners, welcome back for the finale episode of 2024. With me today is Pramodha Vyasarath, joining us all the way from California. The last episode gave you an introduction to OKRs objectives and key results, and we want to wrap up the year giving you perspectives into goal settings. And who better than the guest who is joining us today to talk about goals, goal setting and how he reinvented his own career and life through this approach? It's an absolute joy to have Ramoda joining us for this episode of Inspire Someone today Pramodha welcome to the show.
Speaker 1:Thank you, srikant. I'm so excited to be here, likewise.
Speaker 2:So Pramodha this year went by like a whirlwind and we are at almost the last episode for 2024. Like I said, our listeners couldn't have asked for a better episode than this, where we will talk to you about the goal setting process and all the goals that you have been able to accomplish. More of it later, but before that, if I were to ask you, how did this whole journey for Promoda start? Where did you grow up? What impacted you as you kind of grew up and have taken the role that you have been doing now? You have kind of moved from a technology leader to a coach, to an author, to a solopreneur. Walk us through this journey.
Speaker 1:Wow, that's a long story to narrate. I'll keep it short. Originally from India, I was born in a city called Shimoga in Karnataka state. You asked a question about how it affected my bringing and my approach to life. One thing Srikanth is I was born in a family of teachers, a lot of teachers. So two things stand out when you have teachers around you. One is they are content in what they're doing. They enjoy teaching. They are content with what they're doing, and it rubbed off on me right in my childhood.
Speaker 1:I enjoyed teaching, sharing my knowledge with others. It became natural to me. I have also seen this coming to my sister, who is an elder. I also know that many other family members like teaching and I'm sure this came through osmosis by our family members like my father, grandfather, my uncle, aunt and so on. That came to me naturally to teach, to help other people share my knowledge. That also came across in my career, both at Oracle as well as Meta or Facebook. Earlier. That came through as well in my jobs At Oracle.
Speaker 1:In addition to my job, I used to conduct workshop courses on communication, leadership, storytelling and many other aspects of soft skills. I wasn't getting paid for that, I just did it because I enjoyed doing it. I had my own challenges growing up in terms of confidence and speaking in public. I overcame my own challenges and I started helping other people in the office. That gave me an opportunity to meet more people, share my knowledge. I really enjoyed sharing my knowledge with other people, so when I took a two-year break to do something on my own, it was natural for me to find out how do I take all my knowledge, wisdom I've gathered 21 years of experience in India and then the United States and add value to other people Essentially serving other people through my strengths, and that's what I'm doing in the last two years writing a book, teaching courses, doing one-to-one coaching, speaking engagements in big companies that's what I've been doing in the last 18 months.
Speaker 2:I think that's a wonderful rally cry serving people through your strengths that you have out there, Pramodha, and as this journey has unfolded, are there any moments that you could reflect back now and say, okay, these are the things how I wish I had known 10 years back for me to make the difference now?
Speaker 1:I usually avoid going back and saying what could I have changed? Because everything in life happens for a reason. I think it happens because you have an opportunity to do something different in that moment and that's how opportunities line up. There are some moments that actually made a significant difference to my life. One is back in 2003,.
Speaker 1:I joined Oracle in 2002, january and early 2003,. I realized I need to improve my own communication skill. I was struggling to communicate complex ideas to product managers and business analysts and so on. Luckily, I was ready to change. I had seen a lot of engineers at Oracle who would blame other people, saying okay, I'm not growing here because my manager does not support and my team is not correct, and so on All these reasons for not growing. Very few people were actually looking inward and saying how can I grow myself? Fortunately, I had good mentors back then and they said some of them said to me look, there is a club called Toastmasters Club where you can go every week and improve your communication skill.
Speaker 1:I made a decision to attend one club meeting. Initially I was reluctant. Finally I said okay, I'll attend one club meeting and figure it out. Is this something for me? I went there. I saw the people speak that day. Some of them were great speakers, articulate really nice stories as speeches. Some were beginners who were struggling, who were doing a lot of mistakes in their speech. I liked both of them. I liked the experts who enjoyed. I liked the novices who struggled, because I related with both. I wanted to be an expert and I was the novices who struggle, because I related with both. I wanted to be an expert and I was a novice. I saw the bridge from a novice to an expert through that club membership. On the same day I became a member.
Speaker 1:I think it was October 2003, 21 years ago. From 2003 to 2006, I went to every club meeting Every Thursday, 2.30 in the afternoon to 4 o'clock. I was there writing speeches, delivering speeches, taking feedback. Delivering feedback, taking meeting roles, taking officer roles in the club. Those three years were like my three-year MBA. I know two-year MBA, software engineering, technology skills but I really got good at working with people, listening to people, asking questions, communicating, knowing their style of communication, giving feedback to people in the way they can receive it. All these skills without becoming a manager, without becoming a leader in the organization. I learned all these skills, practical skills, by doing them. That was a significant change in my career. I don't think I would have achieved anything in my career Like if you look at my career in growing as a manager and manager of managers, organization leader at Oracle and Meta I don't think anything would have happened without me getting those practical skills under my belt in those three years. So that is the moment of my career that made a significant difference.
Speaker 2:So that's definitely a pivotal moment, as you say, and I can definitely see how well you're articulating by the usage of your gestures and hand movements. I would say thanks to Toastmasters on that. So with that is also the journey of your own reinvention. Right, the reinvention doesn't happen one fine day that you wake up in the morning and say that okay, this is the day, this is the hour that I will go on a reinvention journey. But reinvention is a lifelong process and if we were to call the Toastmasters journey as one reinvention, you had one more recent reinvention of yourself, which is turning out to be an author, and you authored this wonderful book called as Beyond the Limits. Tell us a bit more about it. What inspired you to write this book? What made you to kind of go down this path of what you are doing now, from being a very successful technology leader having a great career in the professional world, but making this shift into being an author, coach and likewise, Between 2001 and 2003,.
Speaker 1:In these two years, I lost my father at age 22 and my grandfather at age 24. These two deaths in the family had a significant impact on me. I almost asked questions like what is the meaning to life? We work so hard, we make so much money. We go beyond success. Is this all to life? Is there something beyond all these things, material pleasures and enjoying? What is the meaning of life?
Speaker 1:I had a good job, busy job, nice title, nice salary, great company back then. Back then in 2002, oracle and Microsoft. If you had a job here, you were all set Back in the software industry. You're like a limelight or like a guiding light to other people, like okay, this is what the success looks like. But I wasn't happy. I wasn't happy despite this wonderful job and title and money. I went to a training back then on time management. During the training, I was introduced to a person named John Goddard. John Goddard lived in California At age 14, he had listed about 127 goals for himself.
Speaker 1:Goals like climbing Mount Everest, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, crossing the Nile River on a kayak all these adventurous goals, learning so many languages and so on. I was sitting there in the training program listening to this story and watching his video five minutes video I said wow. In the last two years, between 2001 and 2003, I kept asking what's the meaning to life? The insight that there was. I cannot ask this question to life because my life is asking that question to me. I am the one answering the question, not asking the question. I can answer the question only through my activities, through my goals, through my choices as I live on this planet. That was a moment of insight for me in 2003, october, I said, wow, this is great. I need to go home and write my own list of goals.
Speaker 1:I listed about five goals in the beginning. This was in 2003. I was overweight. I wanted to lose some weight. I was 92 kilos. Back then I said, okay, I'll lose some weight. I wanted to lose about 15 kilos, 30 pounds back then. Then the second goal was I was afraid of public speaking. I said, okay, I will improve my public speaking skills. And now you can connect the dots why did I join Toastmasters?
Speaker 1:The third goal was I was scared of water. I wanted to learn how to swim. I started learning how to swim. I added that as a goal. I wanted to learn martial arts. As a kid. I loved Bruce Lee and Jackie Chan and other martial art heroes, but I never got a chance to learn martial art as a kid in my youth days. I didn't want to regret, so I added that as my another goal.
Speaker 1:And the fifth goal was donating blood 50 times before I turned 50. Because my family had a few emergencies and my family members needed blood. People who came and donated. They actually made an impact on me that this is important. We must do it, all of us. I wrote those five goals in 2003.
Speaker 1:From 2003 to 2007, I made significant progress on all the goals except the fifth one, which is donating blood 50 times. I achieved all those four goals. I learned how to swim. I became a confident speaker. I lost about 15 kgs in two years and I donated blood about eight times in four years, eight or nine times In 2007,. I said, wow, this is great. Setting goals can simply change my life. I added one more goal to my list called writing a nonfiction book. I wrote that goal in 2007. That was the reason I wrote this book. In the book I write 52 goals from 2003 to 2024 52 goals. Goal number 1 is losing 15 kgs or 33 pounds, and goal number 52 is writing a non-fiction book. It's like a nice rounding of the story. The book talks about all the goals, with the book itself being the last goal in the book that's just wonderful, amazing to kind of see one.
Speaker 2:not only did you contemplate this, but you also ultimately ended up achieving each one of those goals. While we are talking about goals, Pramodha, and somebody who has accomplished all of those, what you set your sight on how much of this is driven by that passion wanting to do, versus how much of it is driven by the FOMO factor that everybody else is doing. For example, weight goal can be personal, can also be driven by what people around you are doing. So how do you kind of channelize First, how do you identify a goal and then channelize those goals? Which is yours, not somebody else there?
Speaker 1:are two types of goals when it comes to life goals. One is called intrinsic goals. The other one is called extrinsic goals. Extrinsic goals are usually to please other people, whether it is making more money and getting a great job, buying a house. You have to be careful about why are you doing it. If the goal is to please other people, those are usually extrinsic goals that you want other people to notice your goal, appreciate you, applaud you, encourage you, saying wow, you are really great because you did this, and it's called extrinsic goal. Intrinsic goal is something that you really enjoy doing.
Speaker 1:I have a formula for intrinsic goal. There are three Cs Either you're improving your capability, or you're improving your connection, or you're increasing your control self-control in life, controlling life. So connection, capability and control. Now, if somebody wants to run a marathon, you can always say they want to improve their health, they want to be in control of their health and their energy in life. That is the intrinsic component how long they run in how many minutes. Now you can come back and question that could be extensive goals, to please other people, to prove that I'm really smart or I'm really fit. But if somebody wants to run a marathon just for the fun of running and the joy of running, experience of finishing a long distance race. That is an intrinsic goal. The moment you chase the numbers and say I am going to do this for proving that I am somebody really smart, then you are treading hot water there, because now you might end up chasing more goals that not necessarily help you as a person, but you're always trying to prove that you're worthy of respect from other people.
Speaker 2:Okay, that kind of makes sense. So intrinsic goals is your own, and some of the intrinsic goals can also be extrinsic goals. But as long as that clarity is there for you, it doesn't really matter how it lands extrinsically Is. But as long as that clarity is there for you, it doesn't really matter how it lands extrinsically Is that what it is?
Speaker 1:Yes, you're right. Some of them is intersection, although you have intrinsic goals. Let's say your goal is to become an entrepreneur and start a company. That's an intrinsic goal, but there is some extrinsic component to it. That is fine because the impact has a ripple effect on it. That's totally fine. But you and I both need to be grounded whenever we are achieving goals. Where is the intrinsic aspect here? What's the factor that brings me joy in this goal, so that I enjoy the journey, not just the destination? Usually, extrinsic goals are always destination-oriented you arrive and then you feel good about it. That is another indicator.
Speaker 2:That's a very beautiful way of putting it.
Speaker 1:So extrinsic goals is always the destination. Intrinsic is the journey. Yes, in intrinsic goal you are not in a hurry. You are enjoying every day. You get joy by doing things. You're not looking for a moment of glory, saying I will do this. The moment I do this, people will respect me. The moment I do this, I'll be more valuable in society. That's extrinsic goal. The journey itself is fascinating.
Speaker 2:You are doing something that really you enjoy and it adds value to your life, probably to other people as well and with so many things going around us, it's really difficult to have a small list of things and saying this is what you do. You gave a number 52, I don't know. Is 52 a number? Is 100 a number? Is 5 a number? So, and you have a beautiful framework, why don't you give us that example of how do you go about setting these goals and what's the right number?
Speaker 1:There is no number. If you ask me a lot of people when I coach one-to-one coaching engagement people ask me how do I know my purpose in life? And their definition of purpose is with a capital P, like there is only one purpose in life. This thinking really troubles people. This one purpose in life. This can really trouble people. We are multifaceted. We enjoy different things. I recommend people thinking with a small P. You could have multiple purposes in life. The more you can explore, the better. The more experiments you can run, the better.
Speaker 1:If you look at my list of goals in 21 years 2003 to 2024, 21 years in the book there is a variety of goals from health, fitness, performance, confidence, education, serving society, helping other people. I take a lot of these domains of life and experiment what can I do, what can be my purpose? To serve here or become more valuable, gain more skills, connect with more people. Those are the ways I go about finding these goals. So absolute number doesn't matter, just for context. I started with 64 goals in the book. Like 64 boxes on a chess board was my idea. I have more than 90 on my list, but I thought of 64 to write. Then I realized now 64 is too many for a book. We thought of 42, which is 42 kilometers in a full marathon. Finally, my coach and I Eric Maisel is my coach we ended up with 52 because there are 52 weeks in one year. So the idea was, if people can read about one goal each week, the book can be weeks in one year. So the idea was, if people can read about one goal each week, the book can be read in one year. That was the idea behind the 52 number.
Speaker 1:But I do have a process, as I said, which is a seven-step process. I will quickly go through those seven steps and then we can dig deep into any of those that you like. Step number one is begin with the end in mind. Step number two is become accountable. Number three is define milestones. Number four take one day at a time. Number five bounce back after a setback. Number six quit strategically. Number seven enjoy the journey. These are seven steps. You can also think of this as seven levers, seven buttons you have in your remote control of goals and you choose what you want. Some people are good at some things, some people are not good at some things. Think of these as seven levers to play with in your goal setting framework.
Speaker 2:That sounds interesting, the seven step process. And let's take an example. If you were to take an example, if you can walk me through the seven-step process for that example. Say, for example, running a marathon is a goal for me, so how does that break up into the seven-step process?
Speaker 1:If you are running a marathon, so let's start with begin with the end in mind, where you can ask questions like why do you want to run a marathon? You start there and say why, why behind your marathon? Is this for fitness, performance, proving to other people, or excitement? Because you're in mid-40s I call it as the naughty 40s where you realize you know you need some more juice in life. You're looking for adventure, where you realize you need some more juice in life. You're looking for adventure. So start with your why. Why do you want to run this? Get clarity on why, and clarity especially on is this intrinsic goal or extrinsic or a combination? You have to figure that out.
Speaker 2:Okay.
Speaker 1:Once you do it, what does it look like? What does the end look like? You can say I want to run a marathon in five hours, or I am okay with six hours. I will walk some distance, I will run some distance, I just want to finish a marathon. That's what clarity means.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's what begin with.
Speaker 1:the end in mind is yes, you have to define clearly what does the end mean to you as a person, shrikanth, what does running a marathon mean to you? Is it running in six hours, running non-stop without walking, or five kilometers walking and the remaining is running? That's the end, in clarity. What do you want to achieve?
Speaker 2:Okay, so say, we pick that goal, want to run a marathon, want to finish the marathon, run or walk, doesn't really matter, want to complete a full marathon. So then do we go to step two, which is become accountable.
Speaker 1:Yes, the analogy I shared Srikanth is there's a trivia I learned sometime back. If you look at spiders, they have two types of webs. One is called soft web, the other one is called sticky web. Now, the soft webs are meant for the spider itself, so the spider is not caught in its own web, whereas the sticky web is for insects to get caught, so that the spider can eat that insect.
Speaker 1:If you look at our life, we have goals and we have both soft webs and sticky webs for our goals. When we don't tell anybody about our goal, when we are not accountable, we are treading on soft web. Nobody knows my goal. Even if I fail, even if I don't achieve, nobody knows, so I'm not accountable. But when you work with a coach or a mentor or a partner or a peer who is doing the same thing, or a community who is running every weekend, then you are walking on sticky web. Your goals will stick. You will achieve the goal. This is the analogy I bring in my teaching and coaching to ensure people understand your intentions in the mind are not enough. What matters is the action towards that intention. It's the direction that matters, not the intention.
Speaker 2:It's the direction, not the intention, very well put. So that's the step to make your intentions loud and clear, make the world know about your intentions, and now it's kind of making it clear. Then define milestones.
Speaker 1:Exactly Okay.
Speaker 1:Then define milestones. Exactly Okay. Now define a milestone and say, okay, what would you do? Because a full marathon is 26 miles or 42 kilometers. Now that is a long distance to run or walk if you've never done this so far. So you break the milestones. Let's look at your fitness level right now. Have you ever run five kilometers race? Yes, we start there. If you have. Okay, what's the timing? How do you feel? Did you feel pain in your body and so on. Let's say you work with a coach. In step number two, you hire a coach, a marathon coach. You define milestones. Working with an expert coach, you define milestones.
Speaker 1:Milestones are also very important. You get clear clarity on what am I doing in each milestone. If you have read the book Four Disciplines of Execution by Jim Hewling, it's a powerful concept. You have a wildly important goal. I know the previous topic was OKRs and anybody who has listened to that one and listened to this one read the book Four Disciplines of Execution. You have a wildly important goal. You have a lead metric and a lag metric. A lead metric indicates what's in your control. Like working out every day for 30 minutes is a lead metric. A lag metric is where it's the result Meaning can you run five kilometers in 30 minutes is the lag metric. You and I can control lead metric but not the lag metric. The lead metric can influence the lag metric. That's what is done in defined milestones zone, where you can define milestones, quantify it, put some measurement around it, around your goals. That is step number three.
Speaker 2:And one day at a time. So running a marathon is not you decide. Today, january 1st, and January 31st, you are out there running the race.
Speaker 1:The secret of our success is in our day routine. Our intentions can be great, all our plans can be great, but the rubber meets the road every day. When you get up, what do you do? What habits have you developed? How is your routine? How are you creating blocks of time for your big rocks or big goals? That matters a lot. Consistency always beats intensity. You can be intense for one day, but next one week you can fizzle out and not have any interest. That does not help in goal setting. You have to be consistent. Your intensity can vary, but the consistency is more important. You are in the game every day. That is taking one day at a time. Where I talk about habits, you can develop what you can change in your routine to be more creative than reactive. These two words, creative and reactive, are anagrams of each other. They have the same eight letters, but if you take a moment to reflect, there is a 180 degree shift in mentality and perspective. You can be reactive, you can be creative. It's a choice.
Speaker 2:So what's the creative idea here? So if somebody's preparing for a marathon.
Speaker 1:Yeah, you could start something in the morning and say the first three hours of my time, let's say you get up at five o'clock in the morning you will be creative In the sense you will create something for your goal. You create a block of time for maybe silence, meditation, reflection in the morning. Look at your daily routine and plan. Stretch your body. Do the workout the first thing in the morning, as soon as you get up. If you can do the workout as soon as possible, you will have high energy throughout the day, as opposed to going and being reactive with your phone, checking social media, checking office emails. By the time you check all those things, half the energy is gone. Your energy is drained now, like putting jumper cables on your brain.
Speaker 2:I like those analogies.
Speaker 1:If you put all that to later in the day your email, social media, office work, etc. If you create that block of time for yourself, or whether it is silence, meditation, breath, work, journaling, reading, sometime for 20 minutes and then do your workout. The first thing in the morning is do your workout. In this context, we are talking about your marathon goal. In different contexts it can be something else, like when I was writing a book I wrote for four months continuously every day for 45 minutes in the morning. The first thing in the morning, because later in the day I would not have the same sense of urgency and creativity. That's the reason we do it as soon as possible in the morning. That's how you create the blocks of time in your day and be creative before you become reactive.
Speaker 2:This is lining up well. Now the next step makes total sense. If you're regularly disciplined with all of these things, the bounce back portion of it will take care of itself. So you can slip, but you also give yourself a chance to kind of bounce back.
Speaker 1:Absolutely. One idea I have there is see people, a lot of people, when they work on goals. They want to create these streaks Inspired by Jerry Seintel, who's a comedian. They want to create these streaks Inspired by Jerry Seinfeld, who's a comedian. They want to create these streaks, which means never quit a single day.
Speaker 1:Sometimes it's not realistic Because you're traveling. Let's say you have a high pressure job, high demanding job, you keep traveling a lot. Some days you may not be able to do it. So instead I have a different recommendation to my clients is don't miss the second day. You can miss one day, don't miss the second day. You can miss one day, but don't miss the second day. If you simply go with that mentality, half the pressure is released. You at least can miss one day once in a while because of health or some other reason, but you don't miss the second day.
Speaker 1:The other mental model I have with my clients is you can miss only four times a month, not more than four times a month. So not two consecutive days. You're not missing anything regarding your goal and not four times a month, maximum four times a month. This gives you some flexibility when you're traveling or not. Well, to bounce back easily. Otherwise you start judging yourself for not keeping the streak Once you go in the cycle of judgment. It's a vicious cycle, it spirals you down. So this is one idea I recommend the audience to consider have a streak, but be flexible. So don't miss the second day and don't miss four days in a month.
Speaker 2:Don't miss four days in a month. The next one is very interesting Quit strategically. Why is it important?
Speaker 1:I have learned something, shrekanth there are some goals not worth pursuing. You start the goal, you have milestones, you become accountable. You start pursuing that goal. You realize it takes too much of your real estate space, whether it is in the mind, in your life. It may not be the right age, it may not be the right time. You realize that this is not a goal for me.
Speaker 1:A lot of people don't want to quit because they think quitting is bad. I wanted to highlight the fact that there are two types of quitting. One is called as serial quitting. In other words, in Sanskrit there is a word called Arambashura. You start something with a hero's attitude, with a trumpet and a fanfare, and within four or five days you quit that and start something else, a new, shiny object. This is the mentality of Aram Bashura they start something and they quit easily. A lot of us deal with this in our childhood. By the way, A lot of us, the moment there is something difficult, we quit. I'm not talking about that. Strategic quitting is something you know. You have a strategy. You have a reason to quit because you've done all the thinking, you have worked with your family, your peers, your mentors, your coaches to realize that you have discussed and say this is not the right time or not the right goal.
Speaker 1:To give you a concrete example when I finished my second marathon, I finished it under four hours. That is a big win for a runner. To finish running 26 miles or 42 kilometers in under four hours it's a huge achievement for any recreational runner. The moment I achieved that goal, the next thought that came to my mind was I should run a Boston Marathon. Now, boston Marathon is not for everybody. It is a holy grail for runners. You need to qualify for that race. For my age back then I'm talking about 2019, I was 40. Now, for my age, I need to run a full marathon in 3 hours 15 minutes or less, and my current timing at that time was 3 hours 59 minutes. So I need to shave 34 minutes to run the same distance. Just imagine 34 minutes. I have to shave Roughly. I have to shave one minute per kilometer. That is not easy. That's not easy.
Speaker 1:Looking at my other priorities my job, my family, other ideas I have other goals I'm pursuing it did not make sense to pursue that goal. I actually wanted to register. I worked with my coach. He gave some ideas. He said you know it is possible, but it requires a lot of time dedication. I was almost ready to register but I spoke to my family, I spoke to my coach. I decided this is not the right time for me. I'll come back later. Because there is a joke in running community you can run faster or you can age faster, because when you age the time restriction changes. You get more time to finish the same distance at Boston race.
Speaker 1:So I took a break. I said I might come back to this later. Again, I said I might come back. I'm not saying I will come back, but I've got other priorities right now and I don't think that was my original goal. This becomes an extensive goal to prove to the world that I'm a Boston marathoner. Now I might have the intrinsic goal to become really good in running and do that once, because it's a holy grail for every runner. That is my reason to do it right now, but back then it may not be. I was thinking how do I show that I'm still energetic? I can run? So I decided to quit strategically and said I will not pursue that goal right now.
Speaker 2:I might come back later in the future and if you were to wrap this particular segment up, how did you celebrate you becoming an author? That's the step number seven of your goal versus aspect.
Speaker 1:I enjoyed the journey. First of all. That's step number seven. I enjoyed the journey every day writing, collecting thoughts, designing the book cover, finding title. My family had a good time as well. I have a 13-year-old son, my wife. We really enjoyed the time together While writing the book. Everything was a celebration for us. How do you design the book cover? What's the subtitle here? What can be on the back cover and so on? How to structure chapters? How do I bring family photographs? I don't know if you have read the book yet. The book has about 15 photographs of my family different goals, how my family came to help me. My mother's photograph is there, my wife and my son. There are some good photographs in the book which talk about everything can be a family celebration. You can enjoy the journey of your coach.
Speaker 1:After publishing, I was in India for a family event. We had a big celebration. About 25 people from the family came. We had a nice lunch together and all the folks who came to this lunch had read the book. That's unique about this party. Everybody had read the book. They did this interview with the author call in a fireside chat with authors, so they had an author with them. It was a great moment of celebration together. I really felt the effort was worth it just for that experience of 25 people reading my book, knowing the details of my life, getting inspiration from what I did and setting goals for themselves Everybody. After lunch, they shared one goal they would pursue in the next 12 months.
Speaker 2:How nice, wonderful, pramod. I think through this conversation, I am sure we have given all of our listeners a framework that they can pursue. With the new year on the corner, I'm sure they will use the rest of their time to reflect on their intrinsic, extrinsic goals and they have a framework to adapt the seven-step process to get to that goal that they're looking forward to. So thank you so much for sharing that. So, if you're ready, we'll get into the Power of Three round. I will do my best, let's go. So if Tamodaro were to give three pieces of advice to his future self, what would the three pieces of advice be?
Speaker 1:number three invest your time in high leverage activities okay, what do you want to expand on?
Speaker 2:the third bit of it that's intriguing. What is high leverage?
Speaker 1:activities. If you look at my business, I am in the business of teaching, coaching and writing. We can get sidetracked with so many things in this business of teaching, coaching and writing, but not every activity is high leverage. For example, attending this podcast is high leverage because through this I might reach a few thousand people. This is what I see high leverage activity. So I might have so many things to do as a business owner, as an entrepreneur, a solopreneur, through teaching, coaching and writing. I need to be strategic and choose high leverage activities for investing my time.
Speaker 2:You mentioned about experiments and I would love to get your insights on three micro experiments that you would recommend that one can have to develop a growth mindset.
Speaker 1:One idea I have for you that I did for a long time is learn a new word every day. This is a mentality that comes to you that you're always learning and growing. In fact, I had an app called vocabularycom. I still have it. I simply learn one word every day that helps you become more articulate, more communicative, connect more with people, learn more about other cultures through word. That's one.
Speaker 1:Second idea I have is uh, use this word yet to demonstrate your growth mindset. For example, you could say I don't know it yet, I am not not good at it yet. I have not done this yet. This simple three-letter word yet is a powerful reminder that you have a growth mindset. You don't know it yet, which also means you could learn it if you had enough time. That is second thing. Third one is make it a habit to say I don't know. You can also add yet, if you like, from the second tip, but say I don't know, because a lot of us have this fear of saying I don't know.
Speaker 1:I come from technology world. Engineers, managers, product managers, data scientists Everybody is trying to show that I'm really smart. I know everything. This has happened in India. This I see in the US. I have had teams in UK and Canada. People don't say I don't know. In fact, the moment you say I don't know, I need some help here or give me some ideas. It builds relationships, it builds trust. But we are wired, we are taught to do the opposite. Never say I don't know. Don't be vulnerable, don't show that you don't know it yet. It shows you weakness. In my view, vulnerability is a strength. You can only say I don't know. If you are secure, if you are a person of security and integrity, then only you can say I don't know.
Speaker 2:That's a very powerful statement there. On similar lines, if you were to give three book or podcast recommendations around the area of personal growth or goal setting, what would those three books be?
Speaker 1:Three books? Generally, this question comes to me a lot of times. My usual answer is see, there is no single book that can impact people's lives. People are at different places and, depending on where they are, I keep recommending different books. In fact, in the last 21 years I have read about 800 books in the last 21 years on self-development, leadership, management and many other areas, including technology.
Speaker 1:There are three books I recommend for beginners because I believe most of the folks who are listeners are looking at personal change, improving themselves. So I'll recommend three books. One is On Leadership what Got you here Won't Get you there, by Dr Marshall Goldsmith. My idol, mentor and he also endorsed my book is A Generous Soul. That's the number one book I recommend for leadership. Everybody needs to show up as leaders at home, at work, in society. That's a great book for you.
Speaker 1:Second book is by Dr Shrikumar Rao, called Are you Ready to Succeed. Are you Ready to Succeed? By Dr Shrikumar Rao. It's a phenomenal book on looking at your life, your mental models, your beliefs, your mental chatter, to figure out the world that you react to is inside you. It will change your thinking. The third book I recommend for personal changes like you want to change something, whether to lose weight, to run some marathon or run a 10 kilometer race or any personal change. Read this book by jeff olson called the slight edge. The slight edge by jeff olson. It's a wonderful book on making personal change little by little, every day thank you, looks like lovely recommendations.
Speaker 2:Thanks for sharing that. What are your three goals for 2025 number?
Speaker 1:Number one is my health goal. I had a couple of challenges with my numbers. I'm generally healthy. My vitamin D was low, b12 was low last year. Things happen with our diet and lifestyle. I actually did a good job last year. I have improved that Next year.
Speaker 1:I'm looking at other parameters to see how else I can optimize my health and some of these are not really health issues but they could be good indicators on what will happen in the next 20 years. So I go through all these tests lab tests, genetic tests they're all proactive tests to see where my numbers are and how do I optimize my health. So number one goal is to optimize my health next year. Continue the journey to optimize my health. Number two I want to read one more book called how to Now, and the subtitle of the book is A Practical Guide to Identify and Achieve your Goal Starting Now. That's the book subtitle. How to Now is the second goal and the third goal is I want to launch a couple of more digital courses next year on coaching. Especially my favorite one is managers as coaches. I want to create a module where managers can learn coaching skills quickly and start asking the right questions in meetings to help people think better. Those three are my immediate goals for the next year Super.
Speaker 2:So, amodha we spoke a lot about goals, the accomplishment of that and the successes. Year, super Pramod we spoke a lot about goals, the accomplishment of that and the successes related to that. I want to draw your attention on three setbacks that you have had, or you have seen maybe your clients having, and key lessons learned through those setbacks.
Speaker 1:I will stick to one setback and I will take my own example, because I like giving person examples than giving other people's example. That inspires other people. My mental model, Shrikant, is a setback is a setup for a comeback. A setback is a setup for a comeback. That is my mental model in January 2023.
Speaker 1:Last year, there was a lot of restructuring at Meta and my job was eliminated. My position was eliminated. Last year, If you ask my wife, you will not believe. I'm telling this so that people can understand. I saw the message. I know this happened two years ago. I saw the message of me being part of this restructuring and part of these 11,000 people who got laid off. The moment I saw that, I started laughing Really. The laugh was because this was an opportunity to deploy everything I had learned in the last 21 years. This is the time to show what I'm made of, as opposed to reacting, blaming the economy or the company. I said how can I use this? I took a couple of months break. I had a few options. Back then. I knew recruiters at Google, Uber. They were approaching me. I was in touch with them, but I decided not to pursue another job. My decision was taking a two-year break. I spoke to my wife and a couple of my mentors and the decision was I will take a two-year break. I will treat this as my personal MBA. If I make money, that is great, but in these two years I'm going to do what I really enjoy doing and see if I can monetize that.
Speaker 1:The funnel has the leftmost piece, which is my free newsletter every Saturday. There are a few hundred subscribers. I'm sure it is crossing a few thousand very soon All practical lessons on goal setting leadership in that newsletter. From there people can buy my book $12 for a printed book, probably 500 a piece in India, I think and maybe digital book for $4. From there.
Speaker 1:The third step is digital courses. They can buy my digital courses. I've got three of them. Fourth one is coming soon. Fourth one is my online cohort courses. I've got four cohort courses online. I teach People from various countries come. So far, 300 people have taken my courses. Fifth one in the funnel is one-to-one coaching. I've got about 10 clients. I don't take more than 20 clients every year because my time is limited. I do other things. I've got 10 clients active right now, 75 clients I worked with in the last 18 months. So this is a funnel of five things in my business. I don't think I would have done this without the event at Meta. So you can think it as a tragedy, or you can think of this a tragedy, or you can think this as an opportunity, Absolutely.
Speaker 2:And that's a mindset, how you kind of train that mindset also defines what that path should or could look like.
Speaker 1:That is the reason I took my personal example. Otherwise, we can all talk about some theory of some author, some hero and say here is what they did. Okay, what am I doing to demonstrate this? Everybody can preach, but it's the practice that matters.
Speaker 2:So true, that's a wrap of the Power of Three round. What do you think of some of those critical mindset habits that one need to have to thrive in this kind of environment?
Speaker 1:I recommend one simple mindset shift for people. There are three paradigms you can come from in life. One paradigm is that everything I feel, everything I feel is because of external world. I feel angry, I feel upset, I feel sad because of what's happening around me is one mindset or one paradigm. The second paradigm is some things are from the outside world, some things are in me, meaning I think some thoughts and hence I feel this way. That is called mixed paradigm or mixed reality. And the third paradigm is every time I feel something it is a result of my own thinking. So paradigm one is completely external. Paradigm two is mixed paradigm. Paradigm three is everything is inside. My feelings are driven from my own thoughts, not from people around me.
Speaker 1:I have realized in last 21 years of personal development there is no other paradigm. There is only paradigm number three Our feelings are a result of our thoughts. There is no feeling without a thought. It is like two sides of the coin. You cannot feel something without thinking those thoughts. You cannot feel insecure without insecure thoughts. You cannot be happy without happy thoughts. You cannot be sad without sad thoughts. So they are related. Anything else can be built around this paradigm Anything in life.
Speaker 2:I think that's a powerful message your thoughts is what shapes you.
Speaker 1:Unfortunately, people, all of us, including me we understand intellectually when all these authors come and talk, like physicists, scientists, quantum physicists, when they come and talk, we nod our heads. Yes, yes, absolutely Intellectually, I get it. Thoughts become things, thoughts create matter. We do all these things but it is not easy to be in that awareness that my own thinking, right now I am upset because of my own thinking. This is not easy, coming back to that awareness day by day and saying I'm upset today because I'm thinking something, I'm feeling low because I'm thinking something. This awareness, you have to come back and ground yourself that we are the projector of our feelings.
Speaker 2:So true, and we have spoken a lot around goal, goal setting, all of it Ultimately, beyond achieving these goals, you mentioned about happiness and success. How do you measure success in life? What's the measure of success?
Speaker 1:I will give you two perspectives. One measurement is how many people I was able to help and make a difference If they can get more awareness, look at their own intrinsic goals and achieve more in life. That's my measurement of success. The second measurement is how calm I am every day, regardless of what's happening around me, around the world. What is the level of calmness I carry with me? It is my second measurement of success, because I believe calmness is one of the most beautiful jewels of wisdom. The wisdom in people shows in their calmness. The more calm people are, the more grounded they are. You know that they have arrived, they have succeeded. They are not disturbed by what happens externally. In terms of J Krishnamurti, he said do you want to know the secret of my success or happiness? And the answer was I don't mind what happens. I don't mind what happens, it's the secret of my happiness.
Speaker 2:So is that what the secret of happiness of Pramoda as well, after accomplishing everything that you had, had a fantastic last 24 months on your solopreneur journey. So what defines happiness for you?
Speaker 1:Happiness is helping other people, happiness we cannot pursue. Happiness ensues In pursuit of your own goals helping other people making a difference. Happiness is a byproduct. We don't chase it, it comes toward the end. It's not something you go behind. It's your journey itself makes you happy. You are doing something worthwhile, adding value to people, living your values every day and staying in calmness. Happiness is right there. It is not when and where. It is here and now.
Speaker 2:It's here and now, and Ramoda. This has been one heck of inspiring conversation and couldn't have asked for a better time than now, here and now, as our listeners wrap up the year, start preparing for 2025. We wish them a lot of success, a lot of happiness, and thank you so much for sharing your thought, giving us that beautiful framework. This show is all about creating ripples of inspiration Before we sign off. What's your Inspire Someone Today message for all of our listeners Find your intrinsic goals.
Speaker 1:Go after those goals, because nobody is chasing you touching those goals Because they're intrinsic. You need to nurture that baby and help it grow in this planet.
Speaker 2:So find your intrinsic goals and go behind them, nurture the baby called as intrinsic goals. Go find your happiness by achieving these goals. Wishing each one of you a fantastic 2025,. My dear listeners and Samodha, thank you so much for taking time and sharing all of your thoughts with me and my listeners.
Speaker 1:Thank you for the invitation. I really enjoyed the conversation.
Speaker 2:Thank you for joining us on this episode of Inspire Someone Today. This is Srikanth, your host, signing off. Until next time, continue to carry the repulse of inspiration, stay inspired, keep spreading the light.
