Samantha Sanford: The Shame Monologues

My first guest episode in a while and it's with my new AMAZING friend Samantha Sanford (I LOVE HER).  She's been in the online business world as an OBM for some very successful coaches and got tired being in the background when she knew she had so much to contribute herself.

Samantha decided to take on SHAME by creating a one-month long daily public monologue with shame. For every day of August 2025, she bravely recorded audios of herself confronting the things she was holding shame around.  Then worked through allowing the shame to be there, inquiring what it was here to teach her and she has come full circle into her own power.

I'm so inspired by Samantha's discovery doing the Shame Monologues that I reveal something at the end of this episode that shocked even me!  Here's what we dove into on this episode...

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We explored how feeling shame, especially in women, is often avoided and how reconnecting with oneself can lead to greater power and intuition. Samantha shared her journey of discovering her own intuition and passion for redefining shame as a hidden teacher for unconditional self-love. 

One of Samantha's biggest discoveries happened when she learned the importance of healing in the moment rather than viewing it as a long-term process.  We discussed the importance of self-love and personal connection as a path to transforming the world, emphasizing that man-made issues like war and trafficking stem from people being disconnected from themselves. 

She shared her decision to take bold steps in her career, moving from being a stay-at-home mom to building her own brand and mission all of which came out of her discovery of her relationship with long-held and hidden shame.  Through her brand REBEL MATRIARCH and her personal work with shame, she's ready to be a catalyst for other women to work through shame.

This is just the beginning of a divine relationship, with both of us continuing to do this work together for the greater good.  Listen in to this one and let us know if you're ready to tackle shame yourself.

You can find Samantha Sanford right here.

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Because this could be B-roll. This conversation is just so good. So who are you listening to? Your question was who are you listening to, right? Yeah. Yeah. okay okay what what else what else was coming in what else was pinging you so sit with the story and what you're making it mean actually sit with like the

SPEAKER_00 0:30

story about it yeah sit with the story and like what comes up when you sit with that story like what what like you get frustrated like do memories come up and when those memories come up what are you feeling or what are you thinking or and it's literally asking yourself those questions okay so I'm feeling frustrated right now or I'm feeling really disappointed right now I'm really fucking angry that this person did that and they're making me feel this way even now but why do I still feel angry about that right now like what's it what's the feeling in my body it's like coaching yourself through it ultimately the skills to do it and but these are the skills that we're not taught not about this yeah no no like like genuine personal development genuine spiritual development genuine like how to be a human is not taught to us because it keeps us looped in like the patriarchy it keeps us conditioned it keeps us boxed in and so they don't teach us these skills these skills should be at school well no yeah then we'd be sovereign and we wouldn't be controllable that's right yeah so we go learn how to do it ourselves but then we can do it for ourselves once we know we just don't i feel like we're like oh but i need someone to guide me through it girl i know

SPEAKER_02 1:40

i

SPEAKER_00 1:40

need to say that yeah girl like i need someone to like witness me or i need someone to guide me or like see things that i'm missing and it's like then i started doing I was like, oh, I actually don't. Or, or

SPEAKER_01 1:52

when you do like, cause I, that's what I did. That's what I'm talking. That's everything that I'm talking about right now. This is why my whole theory about the coaching industry imploding is because unless, and until you actually teach people that they have the answers within them and teach them, if you're teaching them how to go within tap into their own intuition, their own inner knowing their wisdom, there's all of that. Then, then they're reliant on you. And then. And then that's the model that's breaking. That's the whole entire industry that's going to go down the fucking toilet. And that was my whole point. And you're sitting here reaffirming that to me. Yeah. Which is why we're connected, which is why I'm in love with you. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, so how do you want to do this? Do you want to... What should we do? Should we talk about, I just wanted to talk about you and all your, like what your work is and how you got here and you know. We can do

SPEAKER_00 2:54

that. Does that work for you? Yeah, definitely. I'm happy to chat about things. And if things come up for you, I'm happy to help

SPEAKER_01 3:01

give you a perspective. You already, you will, you will. I don't, and it's not like, yeah, I don't have to be the one. I don't have to be the one driving the conversation either. I just think I want to have, I want to have this conversation around shame, women and shame, because this is what drew us together. I was like, who's this girl? Like, obviously I'm talking about it the algorithms are like you probably want to follow her and I'm like oh you're right that you're right I do thank you Facebook meta AI bullshit thank you for this gift

SPEAKER_00 3:35

I'll take it yeah okay I love it no well I'm happy to guide the conversation too so all right let's do it let's do it let's do it um so when it comes to shame I think the biggest thing is how we're taught to perceive shame. Like we avoid shame at all costs. It's like, and the more shame we feel and the more shame we experience, the more disconnected we become from ourselves. It's exactly the point, right? It's by design. We just, we literally just said it. Like when we're disconnected from ourselves, we're easier to control. And so like the number one, like the biggest weapon this world could ever experience, the biggest weapon of mass destruction is a woman in her power, like fully devoted and in love with herself. Because she can't be controlled and she destroys the narrative. She destroys the illusion. She destroys the hierarchy, everything, the bullshit. It all crumbles because you can't exist in a lie when you know the truth. You just can't. So I think, like, the biggest thing around shame, especially for women that we experience, is that we're taught to avoid it. It's like, well, I'm feeling like this and I don't want to think about that because I've got too much to do, right? You know that.

SPEAKER_03 4:53

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 4:53

I can't talk about that because what will people think? It's like, what will people think? So many people would probably be like, oh my God, me too. You mean it's not just me? Yeah. The biggest me too movement, movement next to bloody sexual trauma. Right. People having experienced it. How did you get here though? Like what led you here? Like backstory?

SPEAKER_02 5:16

I

SPEAKER_00 5:17

started doing the experiment with Melanie and Leah. And I mean, I've been doing personal development, spiritual development work for 15 years. Right. So it's like, I know all the things, you know, all the things it's like to yourself, always feel like someone else needs to do it for us. And what shifted for me was Melanie was actually teaching us how to do it for ourselves. Right. So she was teaching us how she did it. She modeled to us how she did it for herself so that we could then replicate it in a way that feels good to us. And I actually started to do it. I actually thought, you know, what fuck it I am not interested in like I want to I want to get out of this hole like so I just started doing it for me and like the shifts were like really quick things started happening really quick my intuition got louder and louder and then all of a sudden I'm doing shame monologues as a live exhibition and all of a sudden I'm having like daily conversations around these levels of shame and just like the conversations are amazing and it's channeled right like it's impromptu chew it comes through I start having random conversations I say stuff and I'm like I feel really uncomfortable saying this because I'm like I don't know where it's going like it's just it's purely intuitive and then I'll go back and listen to it and I'm like okay it makes so much sense and then there are some women that are going through it with me and like the feedback that they get like the stirring that they get in their belly like the warmth in their belly of like holy shit like something's unfolding here for me and it's like this is the work and so I'm like, I'm really passionate about redefining what shame means because shame is actually a teacher. It's not something to fear. It's something to invite in. And once we invite shame in as a teacher, it's like an ascended master, right? It's like a really powerful frequency. That's our pathway to like unconditional self-love. And when we're in unconditional self-love, then we're fully connected with our personal power, with our intuition, with our conviction, our truth, like all of it, like everything we want to be connected Miracles done. Like, and literally like, I can't, you can't make this shit up. Like the way that things have progressed for me in such a, such a short amount of time. Like every woman can have that. You can have that. Are

SPEAKER_01 7:41

you kidding me? So you got a download to do a shame, like, like invite shame in every day. Are you going on zoom? Are you doing it? And what are you doing? How are you doing it? I'm looking for the actual text. Well, I

SPEAKER_00 7:58

had already decided that August was going to be the month that I was going to learn to love myself, right? Because I have body issue, body image issues. I have weight issues. I have health things. I was like learning to love myself in like my spiritual self. I'm so in love. Oh, that's so good. Namaste. Yes. And it feels so good being up here, but I'm a human. having human experiences. Yeah, you're in the body. Yeah. So I had made the commitment to that being what I was going to do. Didn't know how I was going to do it. And then I got the intuitive hit that you need to go live. Like you need to do this publicly. And it was pure, it was intuition. I was like, no. And

SPEAKER_01 8:41

you said, did you try

SPEAKER_00 8:42

to argue

SPEAKER_01 8:42

with intuition and say, let me renegotiate with you? Yeah. Let's make a deal. Let's not. Intuition was like,

SPEAKER_00 8:49

let's not. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was like, okay, so then how do I do that? do I do this and then it just feels like make it really easy for me because like I've got kids I can't go live at a certain time and so I was like okay I'll just do a telegram group where I can just whenever I can just hit play and then do my thing and then I don't have to like do post and I don't have to um so I just kept a really simple telegram group and then I just started talking about it because it was the talking about it right the talking about that was the hesitating, the scary thing. Not only am I putting myself out there to be seen like for the first time in a long time, but I'm talking about shame, dirty secrets of, of the shame world. And I was just like, what's the worst that could happen? And then I was able to like navigate myself through. What's the worst that could happen? Yeah. Yeah. And I'll be okay. And like, if people hate me or like cancel me on the internet, then I was never really invested at this point anyway. So yeah, And then in the end I would do it for myself. That was the commitment that I made. Even if no one joined, I was going to do the live exhibition because who knows what could come of it. Right. And so I was like, I wasn't upset if nobody joined, but then somebody did. And I was like, Oh, people are actually listening. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So I think it's when we take that pressure off expectations, like I'm going to do this thing. And like, I need this many people to come in order to, to make it mean something, make it mean it was successful. I was, I was successful. Make it mean whatever. I decided I'm doing this first, no matter what.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Yeah. So that was August 1st. And today is at the time of this interview. This is, it's August 29th. So you have two days left. Oh, she's in Australia. I'm in the US. So it is already August 30th. Wow. Wow.

SPEAKER_00 10:54

I cannot tell you how different person that I am. I cannot tell you. I can't tell you how different I am. And I can't tell you the people that I've met, such as yourself, the conversations I've been having, which are like make my soul so happy because I hate fluffy. I hate superficial. I hate it so much. So much. There's so much of it online. Yeah. It makes my soul really unhappy. And then conversations I've been having, it's like making my heart so full. And it's only been 29 days.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

What? so people sometimes are on there sometimes not yeah there's

SPEAKER_00 11:36

there's 10 people in there with me there's one lady who's like fully committed like she's so beautiful and she's like i'm gonna like hold your hand the entire way through which is like and i said to her this is like the maternal motherly love and connection support that i have desired my entire life because i had disconnected from my mom wow like thank you it was like the biggest blessing and she's been so beautiful And she's been having huge breakthroughs and she's like, Oh my God, I can't even with today's conversation. Wow. Beautiful. And then other women have like come in and out and they've like messaged me and like, they're like, what even is this conversation? And Oh my gosh. And it's so freaking awesome.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

So, you know, that I'm doing, you do know that I'm doing a five week, I'm just holding a five week container. I'm wanting to limit it to like 10 women once a week. We're going to, we're going to come in. into a group and, and I'm just going to hold the space for conversations about shame, experiences about shame, journaling about shame, being with it. So I would love like, and I want that to be very, or like, I'm going to trust the fucking shit out of my higher self and my own intuition. I, and I know, cause this is how I, when I was in courses that I would develop, shit would just come through. I'd be like, I don't know where this is coming from. I always trust it. When I'm in a container of people that I'm like leading or influencing or whatever, then I'm like, I trust myself enough to know that I don't need to, A, I don't need to know what, how, that's what takes me straight the fuck out of my intuition. Straight the fuck out. Yeah. So I just love that you held yourself to it and that you did it and that this was just such a profound experience. Yes. What was the big, what was the biggest thing for like, how did it impact your marriage?

UNKNOWN 13:44

Oh,

SPEAKER_00 13:45

it deepened it we we already have a really solid marriage like communication we've been working on our communication from the beginning right so we've had a lot of really hard conversations um but we're so committed to each other that it's like no fuck it we'll figure this out we'll be really angry but we'll figure it out um i feel

SPEAKER_01 14:05

like you i feel like you told me um and i'm sorry to cut you off but i feel like i remember you telling me something about you sharing something with him and you don't have to tell tell his name and he was like i didn't know that you were experiencing this or i didn't know this happened to you or something like that was there something like that that happened where he was like i had no idea there were well

SPEAKER_00 14:26

there were there were stories that came up in the shame analogs and i was like i actually haven't told you this and i feel like i i want to tell you this because like full transparency and it was great at receiving it and there was i know that i've mentioned to him like thank you for creating a safe space for yes yeah yeah and he was like like yes Like, duh. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. You have no idea. Yeah. And he was like, okay, well, yeah, of course. Like, yeah. So it was just, it created pathways of conversation to like deep relationship and our commitment to the girls, especially because like, I'm talking about crazy stuff and I'm talking about it. Not crazy stuff. See, I'm talking about important stuff and I'm sharing it online and it's public and his family's on there and my family's on there and he's get that. He's like, it's okay. He said he was proud of you. Yeah. And he's like, he reads my stuff and he's like, it's so good. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:26

So before all the shame monologues and before all this, what, what do you do in the world? What did you do? What do you do now? What's your, I

SPEAKER_00 15:35

was, I was stay at home mom for the last couple of years, just like building up my trainings, doing my courses and learning. I'm upping my skills. I'm too scared to do anything else. Until now. Until now. And then before that, I was like an OBM, online OBM business manager, building other people's businesses. I was like doing the thing behind the scene because I was too scared to be on the front end. And that's what I had had enough of. Because I'm doing the thing and I'm downloading stuff for them and, oh, that's a really good idea. And then like having really powerful conversations and they're like, oh, that was great, Sam. Like, thank you for that perspective. And I'm like, what? I'm not being paid for this shit. Like I, that's your, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:27

Yeah. That's your, that's your goal. That's your wisdom. Yeah. I can relate to that. Yeah. So now, so now what?

SPEAKER_00 16:38

Now I'm building out my brand, my mission. Yeah. Yeah, because I've been circling the whole sales, the selling thing, right, for maybe three days. Like three days I've been really like I really want to put something out there. Like I have really big visions. I have really big, like there are big things that we want to do as a family and there are big things I want to do with the world. And I'm like circling and I'm like all the reasons why I can't. I

SPEAKER_01 17:06

love

SPEAKER_00 17:07

it. I'm like I'm here again. I'm here again. And I said to Liam, I need to sit with this and contemplate. like this, like do the process. I need to ask myself the questions. And then that beautiful lady that has been with me the entire

SPEAKER_03 17:19

time

SPEAKER_00 17:20

sent me a message about a coach that she's paid for one-on-one help with. I said, she needs to do more mindset work for all these reasons. And I was like, fuck this shit. I've had it and it lit up my sacral. And I was just like, I know exactly what we need to do. We need fucking courage. We don't need more fucking mindset work. We know what to do. We just need to not talk ourselves out of it and an environment and it's for me too right so for the month of september i'm selling every single fucking day online i don't know what i'm selling i'm in i'm selling the thing that the container yeah and i'm selling whatever else comes up yeah and i'm like i'm just every single day and i'm taking up space and i'm not apologizing and i'm not worrying about like bothering people and like being too self like fuck it Fuck it. Literally no one I know that is doing extremely well has gone to like sell something, have it not work and then go, Oh, okay. I guess I won't do it.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

And

SPEAKER_00 18:24

it's successful. Yeah. They've kept going. They've

SPEAKER_01 18:27

kept going. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Well sign me up. Cause I know you offered, is it at 55 yet or is it a 22? So it's okay. You can have the 22. By the time that this is aired, I don't know guys. Um, And are you capping it, the number of people?

SPEAKER_00 18:46

My goal is to get to 10 women because that's like the biggest container I've ever held. And then I'm like, if I get to 10, amazing. I'll see if I can stretch it for more. Aren't you at five already? I am at

SPEAKER_01 19:03

seven with you. Girl, spread, open that container up because that's good

SPEAKER_00 19:11

shit. Yeah. Well, I mean, I've got to get busy selling today, right? Like I've been saying yesterday and the day before, I've just been like, fuck it. And I've just been pumping out, like just selling, like who cares? The bright people will find it. And I'm gaining confidence and courage and like.

SPEAKER_01 19:30

Well, here's what I love that you went through, that you went through this whole whole shame monologues. And I'm, can you not see the connection that that freed you up? 100%. I mean, Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

100%. Yeah. Yeah. This is why I'm like this, this shame work. Like when I finished the shame monologues, I know there's something there. I know there's a repurpose there and I know it's going to be really powerful because every woman needs to feel this. Yeah. Like in 30 days, I can't even explain the transformation. Like who even am I? Yeah. And it doesn't mean that things don't bother me or I don't get affected. Like I know how to handle this. Yeah. And I'm not going to shame. myself for feeling these

SPEAKER_01 20:14

things why shame like what were you dealing like why was it that why was it that your topic like what did you distill this down that was it was that a download

SPEAKER_00 20:24

it was well it was shame around my body

SPEAKER_01 20:27

yeah

SPEAKER_00 20:27

and it was also like shame like the work that I was doing previous like with with Melanie's teachings and how she does it was that we we avoid our feelings and we avoid actually feeling disappointed and we feel we avoid feeling what we're feeling in case we can't handle it or in case you're going to feel disappointed or in case it doesn't go away. And she's like, I promise you, like if, when we do this process, it goes away, but we're scared of feeling it in our body and shame ourselves for feeling the feelings. And I just really sat with that. And I just, I really understood that shame. It was shame. It's shame that we give ourselves and self-judgment was like shame about my body. Like was a really big thing. So I was like, I'm going to tackle that head on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:13

Oh, I just love, I love this. I love that you, a, I love that we got connected, right? Like I'm writing a book called shameless where I really want to like, you know, I will be first order. Yeah, no, I know. And you know, there's all kinds of things that have come up for me because I took, so just like you, here's, here's been my journey in the last year. I worked for a very successful coach, a male coach who in the like messaging space from like 2023 to 2024, so almost a full year. And he was an amazing human, love him. He was very supportive. And he was also like a male white Mormon. And I was like, if he only knew, like if he only knew A, what I think about religion, B, what I think about white men, and see what I think about religion. And even like at that point was like, and what I think about marriage and relationships at that point in my journey, I'm not a, like I would never tell someone, and this is one of the things for me that's such a big trigger is, and the thing, one of the biggest things I, biggest like issues that I have with religion is A, there's the actual process and like that whole paradigm of religion. But then there's the like other thing on top of that, which is like, we got to get all these people involved in our religion. We got to go out and we got to, right. And I think for a lot of people that's, they have the best intentions in their heart. I really do. I really believe that that's, but my experience of that is like, you keep your views, hold your views. I'll never tell you to change your views. So please give me the same respect. And I just don't, I think there are just, Whenever the word should, when I feel something from someone where it's like should, every feather will ruffle. And I will be like, do not tell me what I should do, feel, think, believe. That's the problem. When you look out into the world, this is the problem of us telling other people what they should believe, who they should believe, how they should live their lives. Like, there you go. This is what's happening. And so he was a phenomenal human and I was it was I was so out of integrity because I had to shut down everything in my in my part like in my business like there was no there was no business like I was like if he knew what I believed about this and this and this he would probably want me to leave and I'm representing representing his brand I'm in the very similar situation again the difference is I will not I will not place myself as a visible member of her team and I will not use my social media platform and I will not give up my social media platform. If that means I don't work for her, that is a risk that I'm willing to take because I just won't do it. Like I, you know, I won't do it because I already have a platform. I'm already talking about these things and we have yet to have that conversation. And when we do, it might change things. I hope it doesn't. I hope it doesn't, but I just, I won't sell myself. Like that's me selling myself out. So, and, and With the other guy, it was like, shame. I was like, I don't feel shame, but I know you're going, like, I I'm going to guess that you're going to judge me. And if I were to speak authentically about what I believe and how I believe people should code word for shame, the word should how people should live and should be in relationship with their spiritual life and their sexual life and their, you know, relationship life, or, you know, I'm not going to judge you that you believe that your children go to some weird, you get a planet. Like these are the Mormon beliefs, right? Like, You die and you bring all your babies with you and you all have your own planet. How do I know that's not true? How do I know? None of us do. None of us do. But I'm not, but I don't believe that. And I'm not going to ever vilify you for believing it. So the whole point is to say, I've come to a place where there's a line in the sand and I just won't, you see, I mean, I'm very active, you know, very active on social media about what I believe and what I think and and a lot, the majority of the things that I think and believe are intuitive hits and always have been. Yep. And we've been told to snuff it.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

Oh, absolutely. That's just silly nonsense.

SPEAKER_01 26:04

Absolutely. Yeah. So I love that. A, I love that we're connected and B, I love that I'm at like this part of your journey because I, It's going to be amazing. Yes. Like really amazing. So what else, what else, what else, is there anything else that you're, so before we actually hit record, I was talking to Samantha about how I was, you know, dealing with some personal things and I was like, I feel like I can't talk about them. And she's like, why? And she really, really like helped me work through some, some things just here in the moment. Cause she said, well, can I share with you what's coming through? And I love that question. Cause what's coming through means what I'm actually like, what's coming through intuitive hit. Like what I'm channeling right now. And I'm like, abso-fucking-lutely. So is there anything else, not even about me, but is there anything else that you're channeling that you're tapping into that you feel that you want to share about this topic or about anything else? You know, before you answer that, right as I ask the question, I do want to share with everyone listening and watching that you and I, I invited you and three other women into this amazing circle of just like in the last month maybe i met you and jess and kat and holly and i just by the time i met with holly we had a conversation there were so many things pinging that were like oh my gosh me too oh my gosh me too and i was like listen i have four three other women that i just think we're all kind of having very similar experiences of life right now and so we have convened and we don't know what it's going to be, but it's the coming together of souls, the coming together of souls and having, having whatever conversation feels like it needs to be had, because that's what I really believe is the medicine, right? And what, right before we, before we started recording, what Samantha said, and I fully believe is that healing happens in the moment. Like it isn't someplace, a place that you get to, right? And her process of like sitting with the story that you have shame around and what are you making it mean? And what comes up when you sit with it? What emotions, how are you feeling? What else is underneath that? Like having that kind of a relationship with the emotional experience that you're having, that's when healing happens. And it's in the conversations about things that healing happens. And it's a specific kind of conversation. It isn't a conversation of, oh, woe is me. and oh, my life sucks and this is terrible and this is hard. It's like, and the conversation might start there because I feel like that's probably how I started our conversation with like, oh, this level of frustration and hitting my head against the wall. And she was like, can I share? And I was like, 100% you can share. And it was like, and that was what she said was, what is the story that you're making up about your shame? And I was like, oh, fuck. She goes, it's not. And I go, I know what it is. And she goes, well, you have to sit with it. I was like, I don't like that part. I was like, oh, and what did I ask you? For how long? I was like, wait a minute. Okay, it was just like a day. It was like 10 minutes. She's like, I don't know, 30, 40 minutes. I was like, that I can do. I can do that. I can do that. What else are you feeling into? Like what else is

SPEAKER_00 29:41

needing to be? What you were saying, like there is a really big industry profiting off the one that healing takes forever and requires all different types of modality of work and like investing in yourself and stretching yourself and all the rest of it right and there are people who are genuine in the work that they do absolutely yeah and it's like it's not that healing takes forever it really happens in the moment it's like you get to like you get to access different types of modality of healing yourself like that's right you have access to it yeah it's what feels good for you and like if you feel a with the person but this idea that we're broken and that it's going to take like I used to think I was never going to heal my entire experience but also like healing my generational stuff and ancestral stuff and going through the shame monologues and realizing hang on a minute it's not actually my fucking responsibility to heal all of it however like when I do it in the moment it automatically heals all that stuff anyway but it's not my responsibility to to take all of it and like sit with all of it, it gets to be transmuted like in the moment.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

And I'll think if you're listening to this, you, I'm going to, I'm going to make a big fat assumption that you have done some work on yourself. And if you haven't noticed that the same recurring things come up over and over and over again, they get, for me, they've gotten farther enough away from my present moment where they don't feel as real or as And actually, I'm separate from them. But there is a real trap there. I was in the personal development trap for 20 years. I did 18 programs in 19 years. That's one a year. That's a lot of work. It was just me consistently in there. And I'll tell you, I went in because I was broken. I went in like, what the fuck is wrong with me? And some person said, have you ever heard of the Landmark Forum? And I was like, no. And they're like, you should really do it. and then that was it i was 32 years old i'm 54 at the time of this you know interview and that's a lot of years and it was and then i went into another program container that i loved a whole lot because it had all the emotional aspect where the other one was very ahead and just like well it was a lot of talk and then i was into that and then i got to this point where There was just a, there were too many things that, and this is where I'm at. Like currently there are too many things that are happening on the planet that I've known were going to happen. The reason why I didn't go into corporate America happening right now. The reason why I like, I was like, Nope, it's not about money. It's about people. It's not about profits. It's about hearts. Like that's we're seeing that right now. We're seeing people so fucking fed up with being a transaction and being being, you know, a number and we should be, we should be. And then we also should like, I will say the should word. I will shut on us. Like we absolutely should be like a bore this, like whatever's happening on the planet. And we should really start to take care of the planet. And yeah, I knew all of that back then and I wasn't in a place where I was able to trust myself. And that's the thing that I think working through shame, taking on working through shame or fear. Maybe it's anxiety. Maybe it isn't shame. Shame for me just rings. But I know people that deal with massive levels of anxiety. They may get that underneath all that is feelings of shame and worthlessness and all the things. But there came this point where I was like, wait, I'm hearing the things that I've always said, in my mind, I'm hearing it over and over. People are talking about it now. That's when I actually got pissed. I was like, okay, I actually know shit. I don't know how I know it, but I know shit. It's part of my human design. I've got the channel of the wavelength, which means I'm ahead of the curve. And that shit sucks for a long time, especially when you're young and you don't know why you're not following the crowd. So I'm at this point in my life. And I think this happens in our forties and our fifties where we're like, fuck that mess. Yeah. And I'm going to actually start tapping in and listening and trusting myself. That's the, that's the exciting part for me is, and that was the whole point about the coaching industry is imploding right now because there is no one on the planet with answers. There's no one on the planet with answers. They're within you.

SPEAKER_00 34:41

Not all of them. No.

UNKNOWN 34:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

and not in the full entirety of an answer, right? It's too complex for one human to comprehend. There's so much that we know, and then there's so much that we don't know that we don't even know yet.

SPEAKER_01 34:57

And if we had the opportunity and if we had the option to go, well, hold on a minute, let me pause for a second and let me tap in here. And it might not be the answer to an outward question. It might not be that, but maybe what we learn and discover is that And I've said this so many times, we're asking the wrong questions. Like, how can I make more money? Well, is that the right question? Is that the right question for me? Why do I struggle so much with money? And you had the download for me, right? Like you were like, sit with, sit with the story you're making up about it. And I didn't want it to, I was like, no. And I like, yeah, it's just phenomenal. Just absolutely phenomenal.

SPEAKER_00 35:49

Yeah. I think the, the biggest, the biggest download or the biggest aha moment I got around, like when you look at the world, right? Like, when you really look at the world and you see the travesties and you see the wars and you see the human trafficking and you see the third world countries you see the the absolute like unspeakable things that happen and things that we don't even know about that are happening and we like like we choose to unplug because it's so much to hold right but i feel like i've been given a gift of being able to hold it in a way that it doesn't consume me right because i've been working on this my whole life right these have been questions i've been asking my whole life like what 12 year old do you know asks these questions because i was asking myself these questions for a really long time and i would get so frustrated like if you saw the conversations i'd be having with liam where something would would i'd see something and i'd sit with him and i'd be like i would be crying like i don't understand like i feel like i want to do something and i don't know what to do and i'm so frustrated like why is the world this way like yes i'd be And then going through the shame monologues and realising the reason why the world is so disconnected from itself is that because we are so disconnected from ourselves right war is man-made trafficking is man-made the countries are man-made all the travesties that we're experiencing are man-made and it's intentional because they create fear and they create a way to control and they create structure that keeps us in our little boxes and they create an environment where we're disconnected from ourselves so the world is to actually learn to love ourselves. It

SPEAKER_01 37:33

is the only way. I mean, I really, really believe like there can't be, there's no other way. I can't, I can't love you. I can only love you to the extent that I love myself. And I love you without knowing you because I see myself in you. I see a mom. I see someone who is like working on something deep and profound. I see someone who cares about people, I see someone who's out in service and in leadership, I'm like, okay, like she's my people. And so I can't, I can't love you to the extent, I can't love you any more than I love myself. And I've experienced that in my relationships. I have experienced that. Like the last five years of my life have been, oh, I really got to work on me. Like I really have to work on my relationship with me because that's the thing that I'm carrying everywhere. Well, I will look out into the world. This is how I see the world, a bunch of wounded five and six-year-olds trying to dominate or avoid domination, take their toy, bop somebody over the head. That's what we see. And I hope and pray that all of us get to a place where we go, oh, what's happening out there is just a macrocosm of everything that's happening within our own hearts, whether it's heartbreak, whether it's no matter what it is. And that is the path. Like I can see it now. I never really saw it before, but the path, the path, I think the path to everything that we want is, is through loving ourselves fiercely. And then just being like sharing that, like that's, it isn't hate. And like, I've told my, you know, I told my kids, I'm like, hate doesn't solve hate. It doesn't, it's never going to solve hate. Only love is going to alchemize that there's only one way to do it. And it doesn't let you have to love that person is that you have to love yourself enough in order to see their humanity.

SPEAKER_00 39:35

That's right. That's right. And you know what else? This is, this is what I've always been thinking, but like, this is what's coming through for right now is that this needs to be woman led. 100%. Because the patriarchy has had its fucking time and it has let us down and it's been thousands of years and it's literally time for women to be self-led. It's literally time for women to do this work. Yeah. Oh yeah. There are so many good men. Yeah. within the patriarchy, but they're not identifying with the patriarchy. And so they're like us going, oh, who the fuck am I? And how do I lead in this moment? And so they're just as confused as us. But if we start leading, then they'll start leading themselves as well. And it has to be woman-led.

SPEAKER_01 40:22

I've said it. I've been saying it for decades. I really have. I can pull up posts that I've posted. It's going to be a woman that actually saves the planet. And not one woman. One man. One Like the identity, like woman, matriarch, mother, like we have the, we have the capacity and not that men don't have the capacity. It's not that it's not that we just have a different capacity and that capacity has never been valued. Not, not in, you know, not in this structure, this structure, which is, which is the structure that's falling by the way. Yeah. Yeah. All right. So how do we, how do you want to wrap this up? this has been amazing it's been amazing if you don't follow samantha where are you most active facebook facebook okay yeah samantha sanford s-a-n-f-o-r-d and she's currently we'll see she's currently i'm gonna just say i think you should i think the shame model uh chronicles i wanted to call them this shame yeah the shame is it monologues or chronicles yeah yeah okay i've had a few people call chronicles online oh my gosh i've i've been calling it chronicles I think that gets to be a beautiful container that you hold for people. And I just think it's going to be fantastic. So just follow Samantha because she's amazing. And she and I are also doing, we don't even know yet, but it's going to be amazing stuff. And yeah,

SPEAKER_00 41:53

anything else? There's always so much to say. So I think it's good. I think there's a lot here.

SPEAKER_01 42:01

There's so much here. There's so much here. Well, we can always just, you know, have another convo and have another session. She's brilliant. And I, and I always, I'm a little bit regretful that we didn't actually just record from the beginning. Cause you really shifted me. Cause I was like, ah, and she was like, can I share with you what's coming through? And I was like, yes. And then of course, you know, so thank you for that. And thank you for always just being like such a cheerleader and such a stand for women and going first, you know, this is, this is what it takes. Like, you know, saying the things that might piss people off or doing the things that might be really scary and put you in a vulnerable position, doing it anyway, because I'm not doing it for them. I'm not doing it for you. I'm doing it for the ones who actually are open to hear this and need this and have been searching for this.

SPEAKER_00 42:59

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 42:59

So. Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 43:01

Yay. I look forward to having you on my podcast.

SPEAKER_01 43:07

We'll

SPEAKER_00 43:07

do another

SPEAKER_01 43:07

session. Hey. Oh, you're kidding. Absolutely. All right. Well, thank you so much for stay on. I'm just going to stop the recording. Thank you so much for being here and just for pouring your heart out and just continuing to like show up in such a great way and for, and for like contributing to me. Cause you, every time I talk to you, you contribute to me. So thank you. Thank you. Bye for next time. time, see ya!