For Yoga Teachers

33. Balancing parenting and teaching yoga

• Yoga Hero • Episode 33

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This episode is about balancing being a parent, and being a yoga teacher. 


Expect some food for thought about how you can manage and balance your unique set of circumstances, some tools and tricks and tips for balancing the demands of being a parent and a yoga teacher, and how to look after yourself in amongst all of this: how to prioritise, how to know when things are hitting the fan, and we’ll finish up some tools to ease the parent guilt. 

Throughout the episode I'm using the term 'parent', but please substitute this with how you identify, you might be a hopeful parent, a step-parent, a grandparent, a carer, a care-giver in any and all forms. You are so included, I'm just using 'parent' for clarity and efficiency.

Just a heads up, too, that next week’s episode is balancing a job and teaching yoga, so that might be useful, albeit ever so slightly repetitive for you if you have a job as well as parent and teach yoga.

 
Before we jump in, can we take a moment to recognise how both roles are caring roles; giving the best of you so that others; yogis and offspring, can access the best of themselves, and it really is commendable.

From my heart to yours, one of the things that has helped so much is consciously switching roles from parent to yoga teacher, and back again. So much so, that I've created a meditation to help you, get yours here 💜

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Get the show notes here

And remember, you are doing a great job 🙌

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Yoga for resilience, March 26

Teaching yoga for anxiety & stress, June 26

Myofascial Release, Energetic Anatomy and Yoga, Apr 26

Yoga and The Neurobiology of Stress, July 26

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[00:00:00] hello and welcome to for yoga teachers. This podcast has been created to help yoga teachers teach with passion, earn a fair living and avoid burnout. This episode is about balancing being a parent and being a yoga teacher.

Being a working parent is a balancing act, an ongoing challenge that many people deal with. Being a yoga teacher and a parent is potentially slightly different in that the two roles that, of being a parent and that of being a yoga teacher, are both caring roles, that involve looking after others, which can be warming and rewarding and thoroughly enjoyable. But also both roles can be a drain on our own resources, can be challenging, and can be conflicting.

Just to give you a little bit of [00:01:00] context. I am the mother to two girls. 

One is three, and one is one. So in many ways I'm a new parent or a pretty new parent anyway. I also do not, in any way, shape or form, feel that I have mastered the art of balancing being a parent and being a yoga teacher. However I have given it many, many, many hours of thought. And I have tried many, many, many approaches. And I feel that my balance is a little more balanced, than it has been so far on my parenting journey. 

I also work with lots of yoga teachers who are parents, quite a few of which I've mentored either with the aim of increasing yoga work, building confidence or for another reason. And the challenge of doing all of that; earning a living through yoga, [00:02:00] following your heart, and being the parent that you want to be, it raises its head a lot. 

This podcast episode is designed to give you some food for thought about how you can manage and balance your unique set of circumstances, some tools, tricks and tips for balancing the demands of being a parent and a yoga teacher, how to look after yourself in amongst all of this, how to prioritise, how to know when it's hitting the fan and we'll finish up with some tools to ease that parent guilt. 

Throughout the episode I'm using the term parent. But please substitute this with how you identify. You might be a hopeful parent, a step parent, a grandparent. a carer, a sibling, a caregiver. In any, and all forms, you are so included. I'm just using parent for clarity and [00:03:00] efficiency. 

Just a heads up too that next week's episode is balancing a job and teaching yoga. So that also might be useful, albeit, ever so slightly repetitive, for you, if you have a job, as well as being parent, as well as teaching yoga. 

Before we go any further, can we take a moment to recognise how both roles are caring roles which means giving the best of you, so that others; your offspring, your yogis can access the best of themselves. And it really is commendable. There's another thing that I'd like to say here at, which I think is really important. Which is that most parents I know just simply want the best for their kids; they want their kids to be happy and healthy. And I believe that that's something that you should model with your actions rather than just speak with your words. Training as a yoga teacher is probably a dream that [00:04:00] you had and you did it. Well done. Really. Well done. It's just so fabulous for you. But also completely fabulous for your kids. You are demonstrating to them that your happiness, your dreams are valid and therefore, so are theirs. 

Okay, let's do this. 

Some food for thought. 

You could sit and meditate on these questions. You could use them as journal prompts. You could ask them yourself out loud. Here we go.

What are you naturally good at as a parent? 

How does being a parent improve your yoga teaching? 

How does being a yoga teacher improve your parenting? 

Are you expecting yourself to be perfect in both roles? 

And what would perfect look like [00:05:00] in each role? And in both roles? 

How can you lean into what you're good at, and what you enjoy?

Those questions are included in our show notes. Feel free to come back to them any time, and it can be really useful to come back and repeat them, say, in a week or a month.

Tools tips and tricks for the ongoing balancing act between being a parent and being a yoga teacher.

This is like the mechanic with the dodgy car, isn't it? Us yoga teachers are sometimes the last to look after ourselves. Even though we teach day in, day out, week in, week out, others how to look after themselves. This has to stop for many reasons. 

So first and foremost; What one thing can you do every day to fill up your cup? I'm a really, really big believer in removing [00:06:00] barriers. So what can you fit into your day, into your week as it stands at the moment? This might grow and evolve over time, so let's just start small with what you can do. That might be five minutes meditation first thing, when you wake up. Might be two minutes of chair yoga before you open your email inbox. It might be 10 deep breaths when you've parked up the car, It might be staying after class, after you've said goodbye to everyone, to lie down on your yoga mat. 

One tip that's coming from my heart to yours is to take a beat as you switch roles. What do I mean by that? Let's say you've had a really mad morning with the kids. Just one of those mornings where everyone is by some miracle, admittedly, dressed. But it still takes an [00:07:00] extra half an hour to get shoes on, get coats on, get out the door. 

How?!

You're a bit behind schedule and the drive to your morning class is, just a little bit more tense. You arrive, not late, but later than you wanted to, and you greet the person on reception as you dash past to go and set up the studio. You can hear that your voice is tense, your neck, your shoulders are tense, and it's just not an ideal start to the class. Instead of pressing on to teach. How about this? You sit still on your yoga mat, in a quiet corner of the studio, or even in a toilet cubicle, and you take a second to consciously switch roles; from frazzled parent wondering 'what just happened?', to aware yoga teacher ready to mindfully guide your yogis . 

I have a special meditation to guide you through this. It's just one minute long, but it will [00:08:00] really help. Get yours from our show notes. 

And this, of course, is just important switching the other way too. I've spoken to so many yoga teachers who are also parents. Who've said something along the lines of, "I had such a busy day, back to back classes, or a crazy day of doing loads of admin, whatever it might be, and then I get home and the house is a tip! No one'I thought to get dinner on the go. Nothing is where it should be. There's a mountain of washing lalalala." So I also have a one minute guided meditation to switch you from yoga teacher to parent; setting expectations for what things will be like when you open the front door. I'd really love to know if you find them useful. 

The priority of setting priorities. 

Another thing that I noticed quite often is an [00:09:00] astronomically huge to do list. That of course doesn't get done. I bang on about this all the time, but your mental bandwidth, your time and your energy are finite. And I'm going to say that again, because it really is very important and very relevant. Your mental bandwidth, your time and your energy are finite. Also, kids tend to take up a disproportionate amount of these vital resources, you use a lot of your mental bandwidth planning, where they need to be, what time, how they're going to get there, what they need to take. 

Kids have no concept of time, and as such, they take up quite a lot of it. And boy, did they take up a lot of energy too. Of course they're joyful, well, in the main. But I just, I really want to be very open and honest and pragmatic about this balancing act of being a parent and a yoga teacher. [00:10:00] That just by being an active, present parent, you'll probably have less mental bandwidth, less time and less energy available. So that just means that you need to spend what you have left very, very wisely. So, what does this mean? It means you need to be realistic about what you can achieve in a day.

In my experience once this long to do list is written, there's then a pull, a conflict that doesn't really get resolved. 

You finish the day with loads of stuff left on the list. Or not much on the list, but weighty parent guilt, because you've not spent as much time with the kids as you would like to, or worst of all, both. So. 

What can you do? 

Be realistic. I know that this is probably very boring and a little ironic as it's an extra thing to do, but trust me on [00:11:00] this. As you start to improve the balance between being a parent and a yoga teacher. Put an estimated length of time next to your tasks, and make sure that you've accounted for everything that you do or want to do. 

Yes, unloading the dishwasher just takes five minutes. But that's five minutes that you are not doing something else that's on your list. I'm not saying this to stress you out, I promise! 

But just to be realistic with what you can achieve, genuinely, in a day. If you want to spend after nursery or after school time with the kids, that's probably one, two more hours that you're not teaching house working, working, doing other things. So account for that in your list. Once you've written the list and you've put estimated timings against everything you do: do you have time to do everything? If not, you cannot [00:12:00] magic more hours in the day, so be pragmatic and be ruthless. Something has to go, this is non-negotiable. There are only 24 hours in the day, so what do you need to drop? I've called this section of the episode, the priority of setting priorities. I mentioned at the beginning of the episode that I feel slightly more balanced now than I ever have before. And this setting the priorities has been a game changer for me.

How to know when it's hitting the fan. Us yoga teachers seem to be very tuned in to seeing when other people are nearing their limit, but less tuned in to when we personally are nearing our limit. 

At the risk of telling you what you most certainly already know, some example warning signs are 

physical tension that will not budge like in the jaw, the neck, the shoulders. Feeling- a little or a lot- hopeless or [00:13:00] helpless that even when you try your hardest, it won't be enough.

Struggling with confidence. 

Struggling for inspiration.

Feeling a bit ratty with the kids or with you or the half or with close, loved ones.

Over reacting to things that wouldn't normally bother you *that* much.

Trouble sleeping, which is very annoying because you are dog tired. 

Your appetite is insatiable, or non-existent. 

There are so, so, so many more, but these are probably enough for now. If, and when you notice these warning signs in yourself, how you deal with them will be up to you and your unique set of circumstances. If financial stress is contributing to your overall stress load, the reality is that canceling classes or getting cover probably won't reduce the stress load and it might even add to it. It might be that you continue teaching, but you increase moments of rest in your day, or you reduce your caffeine intake [00:14:00] or you book a massage. 

You might be in a position to take time off, in which case you should seriously consider it. You might look at increasing childcare for a few days, to reduce the mental load. Having a, when it hits the fan in place created when you're in a good place and can think straight is, in my view, irreplaceable.

Easing the parent guilt.

I know that this is most often referred to as mum guilt, but I do know many dads as well as other caring roles who experience this too. So let's look at why this happens. You want the best for your offspring and for your yogis. You have an expectation of your output in order to excel in both roles, which might include some or all or none, of the following. 

A spotless house. 

Clean warm and lovely clothes for the whole family. 

A full fridge. 

Creative, [00:15:00] but accessible yoga class plans. 

Being everywhere, slightly early to get your head in gear.

Always being friendly and welcoming and having time for everyone. 

Should I go on?

In fact, there just probably isn't enough resources enough time, mental bandwidth, and energy to actually do all of these things. But somehow you feel like you're at fault for not achieving all of these things. And therefore you feel guilty.

For me easing the guilt is not a mindfulness exercise; "hey, just let it go!" It's not an exercise in efficiency. If you do X, Y, or Z, you'll get much more done in your day.

For me easing the guilt goes back to what we talked about earlier. Being pragmatic with your resources, especially your time. What do you want to do in a day? And what can you do in a day? And that's that?

In summary, the more I talk about this, the more, I [00:16:00] just think we should be applauded. 

Both roles, parenting and yoga teaching are time-consuming, caring roles where you give the best of yourself so that others can be the best of their selves.

When left here, this can be incredibly draining. So if you only take one thing from this episode, let it be this: 

you have to fill up your cup in order to look after others. You have to put on your oxygen mask first. A tired, frustrated, achy yoga teacher will inspire no one. A frazzled, grumpy parent will inflame the household. So if, and when you feel that you are not deserving of 15 minutes, an hour, a day, just remember- if it helps- that you are actually doing this for your family and for your yogis. 

Don't forget to download your 'switching roles' meditation, to make the transitions much smoother for you and everyone involved.

I'd [00:17:00] absolutely love to hear your tips and tricks. 

How do you cope with these two roles that could so easily conflict? And remember yoga teacher, you're doing an amazing job. 

As always, happy teaching.