ReThinking Caregiving

Feeling Rage? This Is What Maybe Causing It!

May 30, 2022 Esther Mbabazi Episode 80
ReThinking Caregiving
Feeling Rage? This Is What Maybe Causing It!
Show Notes

  Rage is a secondary emotion, arising from say feeling hurt, betrayed, used etc… There is a thought or thoughts or belief that you have that are causing you to feel hurt, or betrayed. 

In this episode, I talk about the possible causes of rage and how to process and embrace it, so you don't become paralyzed by it. 

 Rage just doesn’t happen, it comes from thoughts, sometimes the thought or thoughts maybe a little hard to spot, flying under the radar but believe me they are.  

  • What is the story that you are telling yourself that is causing this emotion sadness, grief etc?
  • That this shouldn't be happening to you? Life isn’t fair?
  • That this is your time to live life? Now you feel betrayed?
  • I want our old lives back, I should be living like i did before my spouse’s diagnosis.  Thoughts like these cause anger, sad & resentment
  • What is the truth of why you are angry?  Is it because my spouse is sick, and I am terrified of losing him?  
  • Is it because I am terrified of the reduction of our family finances changing since my spouse isn’t working full anytime now? And the bills keep coming? Be honest with yourself.
  • Are you scared of raising teenagers alone? 
  • Are you worried about the impact your spouse’s illness might have on your children? Give yourself space to acknowledge that disappointment. 
  • I am feeling angry because I am thinking that life should make sense.
  • When you allow yourself to feel, it doesn’t stay very long. But when you resist feeling or postpone, it hinders us from going on.

 Be willing to open up instead of resisting and closing. If we resist the pain, we make it so much worse. Accepting pain, feeling sad, helps us process whatever is going on better.

Name the emotion, hand on heart, stomach, Breath through it. Nothing has gone here, even though I am feeling this way.  
I am  angry and scared that my spouse is going through cancer treatments, I am terrified he may not make it. This is a part of being human. I am letting it go through my body.  The emotion will rise and rise again, keep breathing and describing what is going on in your body. 

This could go on for months, I can handle this today, I don’t know about tomorrow……. I will take it from there.


 Download our FREE GUIDE on how to care for your well-being, so you help care for your loved one as they go through cancer treatments. 

Support the show